Reviews
Sonicgoku203: Depends on which character he has shapeshifted to. Though in hindsight, as aware as Ben doing a first time transformation.
The Guest: Yes, if it wasn't clear enough, the MC is a Ditto. I repeat, the MC is a Ditto, with how his Shapeshifting works. And yes, it is cringe because it's not a serious fic, so I quite literally just write whatever the fuck comes up in mind. And good, at least you know where to stop, unlike some others. Have fun browsing, from a fellow reader/sub-writer.
Adam
"Yeah... That ain't normal" I say as I took a good look at a limping Holstaur.
"Do you think you could help her with that?" I asked the Baphomet who last night, introduced herself as "Maria". Kinda funny when you relate her name to her species.
"I can, but you seem so eager to do her yourself" She replied in a deadpan tone... Also, you need to work on your wording.
"Eh? I mean, I'd love to but my way of treating that is a rather... Handsy method. Plus very crude and basic" I tried to convince the Baphomet, which didn't work for a while, until Abby came and ordered her to do it.
"Right, I keep forgetting you have a higher seat of power than her... Anyway, why are you here?" I asked, to which she reacted rather negatively.
"What? Can't talk to a colleague? Has your transformations cause some irreparable damage to your psyche?" She accused... Which is actually rather viable considering the kinds of beings I can turn to.
"Thankfully no... Not yet anyways. But still, what's the matter?"
She sighed, lowering her arms which I didn't realize was crossed under her bust earlier.
"It's Druella. Ever since you basically ruined her perspective of reality, she's been extremely reluctant on leaving her tent" I scoffed. That's it?
"Good, let her sulk and think of the consequences she will cause, if she decides to continue her way of thought.
"Help her" I felt my bravado crack like glass when she said that.
"Help her? What do you mean "Help her"? Do you have any idea at all, who you're talking to?" I took a deep breath as she tilted her head slightly in a confused manner.
"First of all, she deserves that. Serves her right. She needs to get knocked down a peg or two. She's gonna need therapy. Then the fact that I'm the one who basically bullied her, and you're asking me to help? Woman, I don't even know how to handle my emotions, and you expect me to handle hers?! Oh! This is funny!" I said as I started wheezing and rolling on the ground.
"You're a Dick, you know that?" She replied.
"Oh Honey, I've been fucking myself over with my own stupidity and lack of common sense from time to time. And I accept that, mostly because at least it's self harm. That way I can't go to prison... Trust me, the things my head is whispering into my ears are multiple violations and are literally War Crimes. So yeah, I don't think I'm the best option... Like seriously? I get your schtick but at the same time, very ironic." I continued.
She looked at me like she's about to stab me with her sword.
"How are you even a functioning human being?" She asked, angry and flabbergasted at the same time.
"I have two sides, think Double Personality. And both are mentally ill" I heard Micah stifle her laughter from somewhere behind me.
"And yes, we both agree that this stunt of yours? Very stupid." I finished and she huffed before starting to walk away.
"If you're planning on doing that yourself! Make sure to tell her that she still has her family to talk to!" I yelled after her.
"Meanwhile here I am... Missing them... Fucking hell" I mumbled, making sure to keep my voice low enough to not be heard by the Mamono around me.
I sighed, releasing my tension and slowly emptied my mind... Which is honestly not that difficult to do, when you know how to deliberately space out.
I scanned my surroundings and took in the sight.
Minotaurs doing strength and endurance training, the Holstaurs doing well in learning healing magic, while the Harpies are implementing bombing strategies... With large stones in between their claws to rain down upon their opponents... Eh, those stone won't kill a man... Just heavily concuss them.
An idea popped into my head and I immediately went back to the formerly destroyed field, and transformed my Kaliedo-Tool to a silver and green Dagger with a flute for its handle.
"I wonder... If anything, I can turn my other Kaliedo-Tool to it, but you never know" I spoke softly to myself before playing the flute in one of its melodies.
A few moments later a roar can be heard from the distance, and my face stretched to a wide smile.
Druella
"Am I really that bad of a person, for wanting Mamono and Humans to coexist through Love? Maybe He's just overreacting or just doesn't understand the way? Ah! I hate it when someone make me doubt my own decisions! Maou! Even contradict them just for the fun of it, in his case!"
I kept rolling on my bed inside my tent, the silencing spell on the maximum to prevent unnecessary and embarrassing squeaks from escaping.
"Maybe I'm just overthinking things and he doesn't really mean what he said yesterday... Yeah, that's probably it" I assured myself, but. To be completely honest. There a little piece of me that is trying to convince me that what Adam is doing is a much better method than mine.
I waved my hand, allowing the demonic energy around me to form around my fingers and with a circular motion, summoned a Gazer Eye. I then sent the little thing out of my tent and through its eye, I can use it as a surveillance device.
I made it fly around a bit, and feel satisfied at my troops... Well, they're soon to be an Armada as I had sent a request for more Mamono to be sent here as extra military power.
Then, I found Adam. All alone at the same clearing from yesterday, which he fixed himself through the use of something he called "Ninjutsu". A term I am quite familiar with, but the effects of said Ninjutsu is different from the Kunoichi who uses them in Zipangu.
He was holding a small Dagger with green and silver color scheme, which he suddenly dematerialized and returned to its original form. Those Kaleido-Tools of his... Such a fascinating tool.
To be able to change it's shape through his imagination, the sheer versatile of it, and the potential... I dearly hope that he wouldn't turn against us.
A moment later, he suddenly reached his hand out, and from the sky. A coconut fell on his hand. A large Bird of Prey suddenly appeared above him in a circle before landing before him. The Avian has features that is rather large for a bird around here, with black and white feathers, large wings that I feel like can carry a larger than normal prey, and those talons can definitely crush fragile bones.
The Avian glowed, transformed to another Adam, before disappearing in a cloud of smoke.
He then opened his Pouch of Holding, and pulled out a quarter of a Pumpkin? Is he making Pumpkin soup or something?
But he wasn't done yet. He plunged his hand inside his pouch and pulled a Bamboo shoot from inside, and with a rather large smile on his face. He recreated cooking ware with his Kaliedo-Tools.
A stomp and he suddenly has a countertop to work on... But he stomped yet again, and the somewhat rough countertop became smooth and he clapped over it, which blew away the dust and revealed Polished Granite on top. With a nod of his head, he washed the countertop with water that came from the nearby river, which caught the attention of some Mamono who was training nearby.
He snapped, and another Adam appeared next to him. And with a few choice words, the clone was sent off.
He stomped yet again, forming an angular dome around him, which lasted for a good few minutes before collapsing. From his combat outfit, he now a Chef's uniform, complete with the funny hat.
His clone returned, this time. Carrying what seems to be fresh ingredients. Where he got it, I wonder... I can probably ask him if I get out of my room... But everytime I try to interact with him, something within me makes me hesitate to approach him.
I refocused on the magic mirror that allowed me to see through the eye of the Gazer, and just in time to see the Adam clone clean the Bamboo shoot, and slicing it to thin pieces using a weird object, which slices the Bamboo shoot by running it up and down said tool.
A few minutes later and he is now washing it.
Meanwhile the real Adam, is busy doing some preparation for whatever he is cooking. Chopping onions, ginger, and garlic... Huh, Vampires are not going to have a fun time with his cooking... Though I think if diluted enough, they can consume it with ease.
He washed his hands and dismissed the now done clone, before preparing two pots but only using one while he boils the Bamboo shoot within the other one.
On the first pot, he added the Onions and sautéed them for a few moments, and from what I'm guessing. Until aromatic. He then added the Garlic and did the same, which was then followed up by the Ginger.
He continued to sauté the ingredients until the Onion started browning a little, and added freshly squeezed Coconut Milk... So that's how Coconut Milk is extracted... What the heck! It's so simple!
Huh, maybe the part about me being sheltered is too much on the nose.
He let the pot boil for a few minutes, and while doing so. He checked the Bamboo shoots and cut the flame off when he noticed the slices to be soft.
He went back to his first pot, and added salt and nothing else... Which is something... I guess... Or maybe I'm just too used at seeing both Salt and Pepper together.
Another few moments and Adam added the cubed and peeled pumpkin inside. He then waited for a few minutes until he checked the Pumpkin if they're soft, once he finished checking, he added the String Beans before adding a pinch of salt more, and letting the food simmer in low heat.
He then faced the other pot, which he drained the water from said pot with Bamboo Shoots. He then removed said Bamboo Shoots and placed them to the side before adding oil in the pot. He then sautéed some Onions and Garlic inside and a few moments later, he added the Bamboo in again, and adding water.
He then let it simmer for a few minutes in medium heat... I just realized... How is he controlling the flames?
I ignored that first, and focused on whatever the Clone Adam brought with him before he got dismissed. My eyes widen for a moment when he pulled out fresh Crabs and Shrimps... How in my Mother's name did his Clone catch those in barely five minutes!?
I shook my head and continued to watch him. Once the pot is boiling again, he added the now clean seafood in and closed the lid again.
A few minutes later, he added more fresh Coconut Milk and more salt and pepper... Huh he did add both together now.
He killed the flame of his first dish after tasting it, and waited for his second to finish.
Another couple of minutes and the second dish is done. I then noticed Mamono lining up to taste his food, when he called Abigail first, and whispered something to her ears.
Abigail said something to him, which he replied with his middle finger and a few more words before Abigail stuck her tongue out at him and made my way to my tent.
Wait, is it lunch already? I made the Gazer look up and saw that the sun isn't even halfway up the sky... So why the sudden cooking?
"Lady Druella, Adam has requested your presence outside. He said something about needing someone to taste his food" I heard Abigail's muffled voice from outside the tent.
I quickly dismissed the Gazer, summoned a mirror, slightly get annoyed by how messy I look, and then proceeded to clean myself up with more magic.
Seeing myself aptly prepared, I made my way to the entrance of my tent. Only to hesitate in opening it.
"No, it's only food... No need to hesitate" I reassured myself yet again... Only for my pitiful self confidence to crumble once I opened the tent.
"Your Highness, Adam has requested you to be the first to taste his special dish... I do not know what he made, but the smell is... Unironically. Heavenly" Abigail said, sporting an embarrassed flush when she spoke that last part.
"I s-see *ahem* Lead the way, Abigail" I replied, to which she bowed in response and lead me straight to a table that, from the looks of it. Was prepared by Adam with his admittedly... Amazing abilities.
"Seems like food is the only thing that will make you come out" Adam suddenly said, as I sat down.
"But, I suppose hunger will force you to eat. Considering you missed breakfast" He added as soon as I was about to speak... Is... Is he worried about me?
"Now, both are my childhood dishes. Which means, the recipe came from my world and so far, is unique to your era's admittedly, lack luster culinary culture... Except probably Zipangu and the Mist Continent, but I digress" He continued, and the slander on the last part was uncalled for.
"To your left, is what I locally call "Ginataang Kalabasa" or, in common; "Pumpkin cooked in Coconut milk with String Beans" Which by the way, is all Vegan and has the option of adding meat" He said and presented his first dish.
As soon as the lid came off. I was assaulted by that nutty smell of the coconut, and the slight sting of something sour that complimented the entire smell.
I felt my mouth water in anticipation for both the first, and the upcoming second dish.
"Next, to your right. Is locally called "Ginataang Tambo with Crab and Shrimp" Which basically means "Bamboo shoot with Coconut Milk and Seafood" Which is the best I could translate it for your understanding" He spoke as he presented the last dish.
The same nutty smell of the coconut assaulted me gently, this time partnered with the odd, yet calming scent of the Bamboo Shoot, and just by looking at the Crab and Shrimp, I can tell that they're going to taste wonderful!
"Well, Bon Appetite. Mademoiselle... May your tastebuds be blessed with the culinary masterpiece of my Childhood" He said, bowing slightly in respect and presented me with an intricately designed set of cutlery.
"Oh, fair warning. You'll need to eat with your hands on the second dish, as it is Crab and Shrimp" I ignored him for the most part, and immediately let my spoon sink beneath the creamy goodness of the... Uhhh... What was it again? Ah right! "Ginataang Kalabasa"
Adam
"Well... Didn't expect that to happen... Kind of" I said to Abigail, who herself is also on the ground, next to Druella. Both having an expression of euphoria and the fact that theres a leak between their thighs.
"Y-You... A-Are you s-some sort of C-Culinary God!?" Abigail spoke... Though the constant twitching and the "Definitely not cumming" look on her face, didn't help her situation.
This is why I warned her not to taste my dishes after Druella fell off the chair.
"You... Me... Marry... Now!" Druella muttered in her half conscious state
I ignored her.
"No... Well, I don't know. I was a good Culinary Student before I got transported to this world, and the fact that I technically am EMIYA... Thank you Zelretch, you a homie for that one. I guess I am" I am honestly struggling to bullshit my way out of this one.
"Oh well, I'll let you two spasm on the ground for a while... Well, since it's almost lunch and I still have a lot left over, go enjoy everyone" I said, and immediately they all rushed in a line for a bowl of their own... Though I did have to make more due to them asking for seconds... And thirds.
An hour passed by later, and everyone is satisfied by the lunch I served... And them also asking if I am going to have a restaurant in the future, as apparently. They won't try to fight for my dick as they're not willing to go against someone like Druella... Honestly, my fault on that one, but at least I can gain more connections through her, if I do decide to accept her confession... Which she did after regaining consciousness a few minutes earlier.
"You really dug your own grave on that one" Micah said as she made her way next to me.
"Yeah... I honestly didn't think that one through. My homesickness is making me slip" I sighed "At least I'm guaranteed audience with her Mother and other Leaders"
Micah snorted as she placed a wing on my shoulder.
"Can't blame you, it's not that much of an uncommon occurrence. I've seen Danukis and Foreign Mamonos getting homesick... But I guess in your situation, it's a far worse situation" She said, almost comfortingly.
"You know, even if you tried. Your tone always gives me smug vibes" She smirked.
"That's because I won the bet I made with my fellow Avian Mamono. Though surprisingly, they thought they had a chance at beating me" She laughed as she said that.
"How much?"
"Twenty gold coins in total"
"Damn... should've raised the stakes"
"Not enough funds"
We laughed a little at the end... Honestly, she reminds me of my friend. My Brother from a different Mother. Guy's and asshole through and through, but a good asshole. Fuck. I'm really missing our League sessions.
"Welp, I guess you need to up your Magic Training then. Future Court Mage"
"I'll make you scream both in spars and in bed"
Ayo, wait a minute!
"Hold up, what?" I raised a brow as I gave her a criminal side eye.
"You heard me, I ain't losing to some pompous spoiled brat, just because she's the Demon Lord's Daughter" She replied, a challenging smirk on her face... What the fuck! Aren't Owl Mages supposed to be meek and quiet!?
"I'm starting to think you're a Harpy, rather than an Owl Mage" She snorted.
"I'm that much special" I rolled my eyes.
"Screw off you big pile of feathers" She blew me a raspberry after I said that.
"I'm coming for that ass, and that tight outfit you have, isn't giving you any favors... I see how that Manticore and Chimera look at you" I hate how right she is.
"Go and finish whatever you're doing, I need to get some piece of mind, now that Druella is knocked out again" I told her, which she smirked and gave me a peck on the cheeks before flying away.
"I swear, this version of MGE is actually a big pain"
I sighed, turning around to see the happy and satisfied faces of the Mamono that will cause changes to this world... Especially Druella, once she wakes up. Still, to think this version of her rather... Childish and still somewhat naive, is rather concerning. I sincerely hope this isn't some sort of Moka situation, cause that is another can of worms I ain't willing to open.
I felt my clone pop, and instantly the memories he had are immediately transferred to me... Holy fuck, the headache is real.
I sifted through the memories and found out he's done a lot of work... He managed to befriend Sasha, who is already showing signs of corruption... Fuck, seems like the Fallen Goddess is doing some work. Mersé who formed a sense of camaraderie even though it's only been a week.
Mimil... She got dragged in by Mersé of all people. Who I admit, that bratty attitude fits her well, but since my clone decided to put matters into his own hands and discipline the girl. She now is quite clingy and seeks my clone's attention a lot.
Though the more difficult one is Wilmarina. Without Elt to mellow her out since childhood, she is rather cold and quite unfortunately very much a copy of Eula. Her spite for her Father is quite obvious that the bastard Vault is capitalizing on it to get her. Which my clone stopped by making sure Wilmarina could trust him, and is actually mellowing her out... Good job clone of mine!
Luckily, seems like Wilmarina also dislikes Vault and his new band of Dogs. And she is not alone on that. Mersé is outright antagonizing them, the Church is surprisingly against them, but couldn't do anything as they haven't really done the most scummy shit, other than some occasional threats inside Lescatie. Hell, most of the Nobles don't like them.
But considering they're personally hired by the Prince... Yes a Prince. They can't do much about it... Holy fuck this is so not canon. Miguel is gonna have a seizure with this one.
My clone did get recognized by the Royal Family at the beginning, after saving their second Daughter's carriage after a trip to a neighboring kingdom. Which allowed him to meet Francisca, who he met in the gardens, struggling to take steps, which he helped her out with.
However, with her being the fifth Princess, due to the Prince being the first child. She is two years younger than everyone in Canon MGE.
But for the reason as to why my Clone popped, as I gave him more than enough Chakra to last him two months. Bad part is that, it isn't only Vault that is there, but also that damned Sanctus from Devil May Cry IV! Which in turn, made him investigate more and found out that the damn pretender is going to do the same in the story. Worst part is that his henchman, Agnus. Whom I personally call Sub-Mad Scientist. Is also here and fucking found a damn Graze! A fucking Mobile Suit! And they somehow managed to learn how to use it!
I mentally saluted my Clone for his good work, and applauded him for creating another Clone to keep an eye after he popped.
Welp, I'm about to do a lot more than Damage control...
"Fuck me"
"Did someone say to fuck them?!" A sudden yell from over yonder caught me off guard, and I spun around to face the culprit... Only to find the Manticore frantically asking every Mamono. I really need to keep my mouth shut when cursing that specific word.
Yeah... Avoiding her for the rest of the day.
I returned to the table where everyone took portions out of my two dishes, and found a spare bowl of"Ginataang Kalabasa". To whom it belongs to? No one, as I asked the surrounding Mamono. Oh well, I didn't get to eat what I cooked anyway, just a taste so this is mine now.
But of course I did a little Analysis Magic on it, to see if someone spiked it. Which thankfully did not happen, so the food is safe.
A nice long sip of the soup, and I felt at peace. The creaminess of the soup, the soft texture of the pumpkin, and of course... That kick of sourness from a berry that is so sour, one of it is enough to give my dish that nice kick of flavor.
How my clone found it, is a miracle. Hence why I will return to that spot later and gather them berries... And thankfully they don't secrete their color, because it would be difficult to explain why the soup is pink.
I miss this... The amount of nostalgia I am being assaulted by is insane, and if I'm definitely going to make some more in the future... Fuck, I really miss home.
End.
