Author's Notes:
More than a year later, here's a new chapter and I'm sorry for taking forever to update!
I'm trying to be more active in the fandom again, and managing my time a bit better so I can spend more time writing. Hopefully, I'll be updating more often from now on!
I hope you guys enjoy this chapter! It's a little smaller than others, but it didn't make sense structure-wise to keep going with what's happening in the next one.
Also, hurray for an exclusive NaruSasu chapter!
Not betaed.
Happy reading!
WARNING: 18+. EXPLICIT M/M INTERCOURSE. SKIP IF IT'S NOT YOUR CUP OF TEA!
Assuming we…
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Naruto
Our kiss was wild from the start, an eager mess of mouths and tongues filled with unspoken demands that we both understood we needed to fulfill. From the tightness of Sasuke's arms around my neck, I was quickly able to tell that this wasn't just about me and that this need wasn't mine alone.
I was overcome with relief, yet my heart was thumping wildly inside my chest with excitement and a yearning so crushing that I could only release a shaky breath against Sasuke's mouth as I held him to me, relishing in the wonderfully familiar contours of his body that felt heaven-sent. There was so much passion and comfort in our embrace that I felt dizzy. Only then did it truly hit me how much I had missed him and how odd things had been between us in the last few weeks that had made so much love, pain, and fear come in between us.
So many things happened in a short time to unbalance the good things we had before. Kiba, Neji, Sasuke's love interest, and telling our friends about our relationship.
It was as if all these shitty, uncalled-for events were emerging along with our growing feelings for each other, and yet we weren't honoring them simply because it had not been possible.
To think that just a few days previously he had believed in the possibility that we would never hold each other this way again.
But we were in love, and we wanted to overcome these things together—there was no other way. Sasuke just kept pushing forward and wanting more from us, and I wanted more from him, too—as proof of his feelings or simply because I needed it from him; it didn't matter.
We knew what we both needed from each other and where we wanted to be together.
And I knew that in the middle of the torrent of clouded emotions I had been going through lately, he was the cause, yet also the one who kept me grounded.
It's strange how that happened when he was a mess himself and clung to me, too.
How I had missed him.
I craved him just then in ways I probably never had before, and I knew my lust came as a coping mechanism, a vile need for reassurance, but he was in the same state, and we could only rely on each other to satisfy it.
What we had could not be obtained anywhere else.
I just wanted to muffle the longing consuming me.
Sasuke broke the kiss noisily and mouthed my neck wetly, his hands urgently divesting me of my jacket and letting it fall to the floor as I clumsily kicked my shoes off. He broke the contact so he could look at me through feral eyes that spoke words of his excitement before grabbing my hand and quickly pulling me along, so we were running up the stairs.
It had been a while since I felt this anxious, this wanton, and my heart was beating so loud and so fast I could barely breathe. Still, I clutched his hand in mine as a strange sort of solemn happiness filled me.
We were each other's, and we both wanted it in equal, massive proportions.
As we climbed the stairs, I noticed that the hallway was a bit dark, yet there was a light that peeked from the ajar bathroom door on the wall to the left—Sasuke must've forgotten to switch it off when he opened the door to me—and the last few sun rays came from the rooms on the right, so it was enough.
As we reached the top of the stairs, maybe because we were clumsy in our haste, Sasuke somehow tripped on the long runner adorning the floor. He inevitably pulled me down as he was falling, making me lose my balance. While he managed to release my hand and put his hands in front of him to catch his fall and not land face down on the wooden floor, my weight still hit his body and made him lose his balance as I landed on top of him.
His chest hit the floor, but the impact wasn't that big, especially for me, who actually ended up with my face in his ass, and my knees on either side of his feet, but I still heard him curse in a hiss.
"Oh, shit; are you alright?" I asked, worried and a little breathless, quickly propelling myself up with my hands at the sides of his body to make sure he was unharmed. I could see that he had still managed to brace himself and not land on his face.
"Yeah, no big deal," he gasped, before shifting a little awkwardly so he could turn his body halfway to look at me. "You?"
"I landed on your ass; I'm peachy," I joked, patting one of his butt cheeks with a hand with a lopsided smile that had him rolling his eyes but snorting all the same.
We exchanged a silent look in the semi-darkness. I could see his smile fading softly and I knew the same had happened to mine. I suddenly found myself very aware of the sound of our breaths, his soapy scent, and the beautiful gleam of saliva on his lips from our kissing. He looked eerie and ridiculously attractive, and I was also very aware of the growing erection in my pants. It seemed like ages had gone by since I felt that kind of hunger, that desperate need for quick, mind-blowing release.
We had felt these urges several times, but not exactly like this.
I wasn't thinking of anything anymore as I leaned in to close the small distance between us and capture his lips in mine. My urgency was reflected right back at the same time as he tried to adjust himself so he was on his back on the floor. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me down to lay on top of him as we kissed, soundly and a little aggressively. I could feel his body growing hotter, one of his legs coming up to teasingly rub between my thighs, and I wasted no time in responding by grinding down a few times, the friction of my clothed arousal on something solid making me groan.
I understood that he was riling me up on purpose; his gestures were calculated yet frantic as he released me and sneaked his hands between our bodies to try and undo the buttons of my jeans. Because he had done it so many times before, he was proficient at it, but I hadn't expected that he would so quickly shove a hand inside my underwear and press a demanding palm to my cock.
I pulled away from the kiss to release a small moan and bury my face in the curve of his neck, my cheeks catching fire. The tips of his fingers struggled inside my boxers and touched my sac briefly before closing around my cock and offering it a few tentative strokes with the little space he had as he turned his head so he could press his mouth to my ear.
It felt so fucking amazing I got momentarily distracted and thrust my hips against his hand, feeling the tip of his tongue lapping at my earlobe and his other hand coming up as fingers curled around the hairs at the top of my head.
I could feel his heart beating as fast as mine as I inhaled sharply through my nose and ran my tongue along the column of his neck, which made him twitch slightly.
"Ngh... hold on," I huffed, grabbing his hand to make him stop stroking me because I knew I wouldn't last like that. "I'll come…"
"We can't have that, can we?" Sasuke teased in my ear, a smile in his voice, but he complied and slowly released my cock.
I straightened up to sit on my heels, his narrowed hazy eyes watching me as I swiftly removed my sweater and dropped it beside us. In a hurried frenzy, we struggled a bit to adjust between curses and huffs as my hands reached for the hem of his pants and underwear and I tried to pull them down and off, Sasuke lifting his legs to help. I threw the garments to the side as well, just as we managed to find a position where I was kneeling between his parted legs. The floor wasn't comfortable at all, but it didn't matter; I didn't want to waste time getting to the bedroom and lose the high in the meantime.
Despite my state of arousal, I still took a moment to look down at him, bringing my hands to his toned belly before sliding them up and under his sweater in a slow caress, feeling the contours of his torso and chest. The view of his flawless body sprawled under me was such a mutual blessing and turn-on that I had to swallow down the tightness around my throat. My eyes looked down to his cock, hard and angry red resting against his navel and it twitched slightly as my fingers touched his perky nipples. There was a drop of precum emerging from the tiny slit at the head.
Sasuke's back arched against touch, wanton and impatient as his hands caressed my arms lovingly, silently approving of everything in a language we both knew well by now.
Sasuke was a vision, so different during intimacy from the nonchalant and sometimes unapproachable person he showed in his daily life—he truly enjoyed the pleasure and the attention, giving in without concern for the outcome, all his barriers torn down. He knew well what I wanted when I wanted it, and he easily became it without a second thought.
Just then, I needed him, and he knew it.
I couldn't help but briefly wonder if that guy had seen this side of him, too, and if Sasuke responded like this to him as well. A wave of frustration and jealousy filled me, as well as possessiveness.
Was that man able to rile him up like this, too?
Dragging my knees backward a little, I wasted no time in leaning down to run my tongue from the base of his cock right up to the tip, pleased by the way it jumped slightly, before taking it in my mouth, the salty taste of him filling my senses, his musky scent nostalgic.
Damn, I had missed that.
"Fuck..." he moaned, both hands coming to touch my head as he shamelessly lifted his hips so he could push into my mouth, sane enough to be careful not to choke me, even though he knew I could handle it. "That's it…"
I could feel his eyes on me as he pulled back and I lifted my head slightly and breathed in deeply through my nose, relaxing my throat before taking him deep inside again and feeling him press upward again in response, and we easily found a good rhythm that I knew felt great for him and was comfortable for me.
As I deep-throated him a few times, he hissed, fingers running through the strands of my hair, and I could feel myself growing hotter by the second, my cock so hard it was starting to feel way too constricted inside my clothes, my boxers already uncomfortably wet with eagerness.
I wanted him to feel the same impatience and the same uncontrollable desire to unleash; that's why I teased him, but I certainly didn't want him to come.
"Naruto," he called out in a breath. "The stuff... It's in my room. We should move."
I released a noise through my nose to let him know I heard him. I let his cock slip out of my mouth a little messily and looked back at him. "I have everything we need in my pocket," I assured him breathlessly. "I don't think I can make it to the room, to be honest."
There was an unintelligible noise coming from his throat. "Fuck, you should've just said so, idiot."
He pushed me off him a little so he could move to a sitting position and smash our mouths together again. His kiss was so urgent and so hot that I felt like the ground was shaking and I couldn't move or I'd fall apart. He was so eager, it was maddening as his hands reached for my pants and underwear, trembling as they clumsily pushed them down enough to release my cock from its confines. They then began feeling my pockets until he found the small tube of lube I had brought and the two condoms. He struggled a bit but eventually fished them out, and I had to get moving because he threw one of the condoms aside and pushed the lube to my chest demandingly.
Because we were so special together, it was easy to forget that Sasuke had been with several girls before me and was not exactly an inexperienced lover. But this was a first for us , and just then, he was mine, and I would be his first, too.
The thought alone was nearly my undoing.
I admit that I felt dazed, momentarily lost in the tightness building up inside of me, my whole body tensing with desire and so many other feelings I had no sanity to deal with just then. Even my head felt too full, about to explode from all the blood rushing everywhere, so I just watched him, mesmerized, as he expertly tore the square package in his hands and pulled out the condom before throwing it aside. He swiftly rolled the latex down my length, and I forced myself to react as I uncapped the tube and poured some lube over my hand, then palmed my cock a couple of times to make sure it was well coated before adding a bit more to my fingers.
Sasuke's arms wrapped around me as we kissed again, tongues sliding messily as he pulled me down, spreading his legs further apart for me. "I cleaned up and prepped, sort of ," he confessed against my mouth, between pecks. "I was in the middle of it when you arrived. But I'm okay. You can do it."
I couldn't even properly register what he was saying. Why had he cleaned up? Prepped? For what?
But then it dawned on me that he had been anticipating this, probably planning something already.
I leaned away a bit to look at him through heavy-lidded eyes to find him looking back with his lips parted and a very flattering blush spread across his cheeks. "You were planning this?" I asked.
"Why are you even surprised?" he breathed with a small smirk.
I couldn't help but smile at him, planting a soft kiss on his forehead.
"You're such a fucking tease, Sasuke," I muttered, sliding a hand between his legs and pressing my lubed middle finger to his pucker, finding little resistance as I slipped it inside confidently. "Why do you do these things?"
"Because I want you to fuck me?" He gasped, his muscles tensing around the intrusion for only a second. "Come on, I'm ready."
"I will be the judge of that," I mumbled hotly. A low moan left his throat as I thrust the finger a few times to check out exactly how soft he was before removing it and nudging in two this time. "Just wait a bit; I don't want to hurt you."
Indeed, he had been doing something because the passage, while tight, was accepting, and this filled me with joy and pride because it meant that he was serious about this, that he wanted me .
I pressed my lips to his chest, mouthing it as I found a faster rhythm with my fingers inside him, feeling on edge but still reminding myself that I had to be the bigger person and take care of him and make sure he was alright.
Sasuke squirmed as I went deep and scissored my fingers inside, properly fucking him and trying to hear from him if there was any discomfort. However, as I added a third digit and twisted the digits, all I could feel was his cock twitching against my belly and his ass moving rather shamelessly as he urged me on, and no matter how many times I wrapped my mind around it, Sasuke's sometimes shameless horniness was so much of a turn on that I could not get used to it no matter how many times we were intimate.
"Naruto, I'm too close," Sasuke complained in a hiss, purposefully clenching around my fingers and effectively making me lose it. "I'm fine, so please, just..."
I brought our mouths together again to silence him and what followed was a rather heated clash of tongues as the world seemed to be spinning out of control. My brain cells could not process anything anymore as I slid my digits out of him. There was a muffled relieved sound coming from him as we adjusted again, and while I braced myself properly on my elbows, he was the one reaching down between us to grab my cock and hurriedly place it over his pucker, pulling at it a bit to urge me inside.
I felt his legs wrapping around my waist and pulling me toward him. The message was loud and clear, so all I could do was slide inside with one swift, slow move and bury myself to the hilt, making him hiss, yet there was lewdness there that was inviting, and I knew neither of us would last and that this would go against everything that I had planned for us.
But it was no use; we were wound up already and the heat around me felt too good—it had been too long since I'd had sex and too long since I'd felt this level of arousal. I was so desperate that I just wanted to find the highest level of pleasure in the relief of release in the most guttural way possible. From Sasuke's body language, he felt the same way and expected nothing less.
Our bodies had started to perspire. His arms were around me as he sucked on my tongue and I began to move instantly in a drunken state of longing. It might've been a while, but I instinctively knew what to do and how to make it good, sliding out of him only until the tip of my cock before slamming back inside. I did this quickly and repeatedly, the sheer pleasure and unbearable heat filling me, and I was not really thinking about anything anymore. I wanted him to feel good, and I wanted to get us both off.
"Oh, shit, Naruto..." Sasuke said against my mouth, a tremor giving away the level of his lust along with a slight surprise as if he somehow had not expected that it would feel this way. I could feel his fingers burying in my shoulders and his rapid breaths against my cheek, his hips doing the best they could to move with me, probably to take me as deep as he could. "Fuck, I… right there… I'm so close..."
All of it was perfection and the way our bodies felt rutting together was unlike anything I had experienced before that.
Perhaps because I felt free during sex for the first time in my life, and not only because I was topping, but because we fit and there were no taboos, nothing but mutual respect, and the desire to make the other feel completely fulfilled.
Finally, there were no more walls between Sasuke and me; nothing was stopping us from going as far in our relationship as we could.
And I loved it—all of it. I loved him and his ability to just give himself to me in such a consuming way that there was no space for anything but love and completion.
His low, encouraging moans did nothing to help me last longer. I felt my muscles tensing with the impending feel of my orgasm and another wave of unbearable heat flooding me.
My climax came too quickly and I moved faster, shoving myself hard into him as I twisted my torso a bit to the side so I could reach for his cock just as I felt myself pulsing helplessly inside him and emptying myself in one of the most powerful orgasms I'd had in a while. There was a loud curse coming from him as I fisted his weeping arousal in tempo with my thrusts, which made his body convulse slightly and his legs shake around me, squeezing me while his insides clenched and his cock jerked.
Even through the mist of coital bliss, I had to lift my head and look down to watch his seed leave him in long and powerful spurts that reached his chest and up to the fabric of his raised sweater, and as his body rocked with my aggressive fucking, I was assaulted by another stream of emotions I couldn't organize just then. He was saying my name in a wanton whisper that filled every emotional need I had.
I only slowed down once we were both done. My head was a mess, yet everything became clearer while my eyes were on Sasuke, who was a spent chaos of messed up hair—that was glued to his sweaty temples and forehead—and beautifully swollen lips. Like me, he was shivering a bit and breathing rapidly, but he had his eyes closed, looking sinful and blissful, a bit confused, too. It wasn't an expression I knew, but it made me smile a bit.
I realized exactly why I had wanted to be with him and why fighting for him made so much sense to me.
There was no one like him, and the things he gave me were unique and far too precious.
I wanted him and his giving self with every fiber of my being.
Despite how we had both come, I still ventured a few languid thrusts into him just to feel him a bit more. My heart was hammering inside my chest and I felt happy and excited. I had to make sure that this had happened—that we were finally connected beyond words and vague promises of a future together.
His beautiful eyes reopened tiredly, but he looked up at me and smiled—his nasty, smug smirk that both annoyed and did lewd things to me—and pulled me down for another kiss, slower this time, as if he wanted to enjoy the momentum as much as I did. His hands came to cup my cheeks in such a soft, yet possessive manner that it filled my heart.
We said nothing as I kept slowly fucking him, and he simply let me be as sweaty as his hands then slid lower to my neck and down, running lovingly all over my body in silent words we both understood all too well.
After a while, he grabbed my hand and pried it away from his cock, and even though it was soiled, he placed it on the side of his body as if asking me to touch him back, and I did, all over, because we both needed to make sure this was real.
And in the middle of the mess and emotional turmoil, there was an acceptance and understanding that we knew were exclusive to us. Everything made sense, and we would be alright.
There was no way other than forward.
000
Us having sex that day was never about Sasuke; it was about me , and we were both aware of it. Sasuke knew I was in a precarious situation as far as our relationship went, and that was why he always gave himself so fully to me in every possible way.
If a perfect boyfriend existed, that person was, without a doubt, Sasuke, and maybe that's why his previous girlfriends had such a hard time letting go and understanding the breakup.
Sasuke was adamant about showing me that he was serious about us and that he would work hard. Well, Sasuke had been all in since we started dating, and that didn't change with time. He was a caring and attentive lover, very open-minded and free from the usual taboos most people chain themselves to. I doubt there was anything that he didn't adhere to if it was within his power to fulfill.
I knew that, if it had been up to him, we would've engaged in intercourse a lot earlier.
Admittedly, I didn't ask for sex as some sort of reward. In fact, I hadn't initially been thinking about us having sex that day at all, even though I knew it would happen sooner or later. I honestly had planned on providing Sasuke with a calmer, more considerate experience for his first time—romantic even—but not exactly this.
However, I was overwhelmed. All the anxiety about all of the recent events that had been piling up inside of me led me to go to him and ask for some kind of deeper connection and grounding reassurance.
I did not doubt his feelings for me, but I needed to know that nothing had changed just because he'd been with the love of his life.
They had kissed, touched, and somehow done things Sasuke would not voice but that I was sure had been deep and intimate.
The fact that Sasuke was able to understand my insecurity without judgment was wonderful. Strangely, I think that our lovemaking ended up being exactly the way it should've been because it was raw, honest, and full of things we didn't dare to voice out loud. So many things were starting as others ended, and we needed each other more than ever.
It happened the way it was supposed to, and I was immensely happy.
I cannot express how much lighter I felt now that we had completely exposed ourselves to each other, giving everything and taking everything as well.
Our dynamics allowed us to be this way. It wasn't demanding, but it was a given that we'd always abide by.
Our relationship had never been clearer. My feelings for Sasuke were clear, too.
I knew I loved him without a doubt, and this was the reason why not having him completely to myself hurt so much.
This wasn't something I could tell him because I didn't want to burden him with my feelings and this possessiveness I had harbored.
I didn't want anyone else to see him like this or have these things that he gave me. I didn't want any other person to be touched by him the same way or be kissed the same way he kissed me.
No one else should be allowed to make him feel good. I could not bear to think that he would be so devoted to giving someone else the same mind-blowing pleasure he ripped out of me.
It hurt to even think that he would give the same level of affection (if not more) to someone else.
But I knew this was just me being selfish, and I stubbornly made peace with it.
Just as I still harbored unresolved feelings for Neji, Sasuke's feelings for that man burned him and he would have to keep moving forward until he overcame them, if he ever did. I could only hope that he would.
We were both fucked up, but there was no reason to not enjoy this blissful love that was ours and that made us feel so whole.
Finally taking things to the bedroom felt like the natural progression. We were young, sexually active, and more enamored with each other than we'd ever been, and we just wanted to smother the longing and explore each other in ways we hadn't before.
In all truth, this was also the first time we were alone together with sexual intent without hiding or having to be conscious of time or someone being in another room.
To say that Sasuke was curious was an understatement; he was like a beast unleashed. He wanted to try positions to see which ones felt better and wanted to do this while pleasuring me, too, immensely fascinated by how much he enjoyed it. We had fingered each other many times until then so he was no stranger to this sort of pleasure, but this was a whole new level of lust for him that he was very content with.
I don't know what triggered him to be like this, but it made him very enticing. One of the things I loved the most about him was the ability he had to just take things as they came and get the best out of them without remorse.
Regardless, no matter how much he wanted to satiate his curiosity, eventually, there was only so much position-changing, fingering, and making out we could handle because we ended up in a fiery mess again, during which I took him ass up on the bed and we came within seconds, too overly sensitized to last.
But well, not everything had to be perfect, and I had started to understand that maybe the imperfections in our relationship were precisely what was making us grow.
Sasuke
The night had already fallen by the time we showered. Naruto snorted at finding an enema in the bathroom and teased me a bit about it, but we were mostly silent as we showered together and washed each other in the middle of some making out and fumbling. These simple but carefree intimate moments were a first for us, too, and it felt nice to have this much privacy and freedom together.
I Had to change into clean pajamas and lend Naruto some clean clothes as well before heading to the kitchen to make something for dinner. We were tired yet giddy as a mutual sense of renewed companionship and happiness filled us.
I was frankly over the moon, completely relaxed, and satiated because I'd been wanting this for a long time, and the outcome did not disappoint. I felt like we were more connected than ever, and the fact that I managed to take that haunted, anxious look from Naruto's face made me feel more at ease.
I didn't want him to ever doubt me or us. I needed him to know that I wanted him and that I would be there for him through thick and thin.
Just then, I felt that nothing else mattered except the two of us, and the sense of peace that I felt was surreal, as if I was finally in a place of perfect contentment and self-assurance.
Naruto too, seemed a lot perkier.
"So, are you going to tell me why you came here upset?" I asked carefully at dinnertime as we sat at the table in the kitchen, side by side. "Was it because of me? Us?"
We had cooked some onigiri , which we had put on a plate over the table between us, and were now munching on them. There were glasses of juice in front of us.
"I guess it was just a lot of pent-up feelings," Naruto said with a casual shrug in the middle of chewing. His bright blue eyes were soft as they looked at me. "There was so much stuff going on that I just needed to readjust. But, somehow, no matter how much shit happens, it seems that everything falls into place when I'm with you."
"I feel the same way," I agreed with a nod as we exchanged a brief smile. I reached out to grab another onigiri . "Do you want to talk about it?"
Naruto shook his head. "Not right now. I'll tell you in a few days, okay?" he muttered with an apologetic look. "I think we need to reestablish our balance first, and honestly, I'm feeling great right now, so I don't really want to ruin it."
"Sure, I respect that."
I took a bite of my food and we sat in comfortable silence for a while.
"Well. I don't think I was the only one looking for some grounding, Mr. I-prepped-in-advance-to-seduce-you ," Naruto teased after a while, poking my side gently. "I'm not complaining about it, though. I was just surprised."
There was no place for embarrassment after all the things we'd done, so I just released a small sigh, slapping his hand away playfully because I didn't really like being ticklish.
"You know I've been wanting it for a while now," I muttered, fumbling with the onigiri thoughtfully. "I thought it would be good to strengthen our relationship. Also, because I was intimate with him , I really wanted you and me to go that extra mile so that you and him were not on equal ground. You're my boyfriend, after all, and I want you to know I prioritize you and our well-being."
"Right." Naruto finished his food and grabbed a napkin to wipe his mouth. "On what kind of ground will he and I be when you fuck him ?"
It wasn't said with malice at all, so I didn't take it personally. We had promised to be honest and open with each other, so I didn't hesitate to reply. "I'm not sure it will ever get to that, Naruto," I said sincerely because, with how Itachi was, penetrative sex had to be some sort of instant passage to hell for him, which was funny considering all the other lewd stuff we had done. "But you are you, Naruto. No matter what happens with him, your place in my heart and my life will remain the same."
Naruto leaned back in his chair and merely nodded. He watched me contemplatively before reaching out a hand to gently pull my ear. "Come on, don't look so crestfallen. I didn't mean anything by it."
"I know," I conceded with a grateful nod. I stopped myself, mulling over how to word what I wanted. "I still think we need to talk about a few things, though."
His eyebrows rose. "Like what?"
Clearing my throat, I put the onigiri down on a napkin. "Don't take this the wrong way and please hear me out before you start yelling," I said carefully, despite knowing this would still set alarms off in his head. "But I thought it over and I really think we should have an open relationship."
As I expected, Naruto groaned. "Sasuke, jeez," he huffed, with a heavy frown that showed exactly what he thought of the idea. "Is this the same conversation we had before you went to Tokyo? I already told you what I think about it."
"It's not like I want to be with other people, but there's still him ," I explained, putting a hand on his wrist to placate him. "I don't want you to be stuck being faithful to me when you could potentially be sorting yourself out, too."
"There's nothing to sort out," he contradicted, so quickly and definitively that I instantly knew it was a blatant lie.
"We both know that's not true, and you said so yourself over the phone," I accused him, frowning back. "I know Hyuuga Neji is your ex-boyfriend."
If nothing else had given it away before, his honest physical response sure did because he tensed, his eyes widening a bit as his face paled. I released a sigh.
"It didn't take long for me to connect the dots," I muttered quietly so he would know I was not upset or trying to use something against him. "You spoke about meeting that person on the street, and just today you were pretty upset about having lunch with his family. When you came through that door and asked for sex, I knew something was wrong and it clicked. I wasn't sure before, but I am now."
"Fucking damn it," Naruto hissed, closing his eyes, and he seemed so tired all of a sudden that I felt sorry for him. It was unfortunate that I had to throw so many things at him all at once, but there was no avoiding it if we wanted to be as honest as possible with each other "I didn't want you to find out like this. I wanted to tell you myself because it's really not what you think."
"It's fine; I'm not going to ask questions, and you can tell me about it whenever you feel like it," I assured him, squeezing his wrist reassuringly. "It's fine."
Even if I said this, I admit that I didn't really know how to feel about the information, and for the first time, I sort of understood how he felt. Of all the people I had imagined to be Naruto's first love, Hyuuga Neji was certainly not on the list because, while they had a seemingly friendly relationship, they were polar opposites, even more so than Naruto and I.
Neji was not someone I knew on a personal level. We had talked a few times about school-related issues, and he had passed me a few notes before heading to college because he had been a top student in his year, and I was top in mine and senpai tended to have that obligation towards promising students, but that was it.
Neji was a very polite and intelligent person. He was highly educated and almost aristocratic, didn't have vices, and didn't get involved with normal teenage stuff like Naruto and I did.
I could understand that Naruto might've been lured to him—he was a prince charming, at first glance worthy of being someone's first love, and everyone and their mothers loved him—but I could not fathom the idea that he was also the same person Naruto had felt so disrespected by because he had always seemed gentle to me, despite having a strong personality.
"It's not fine , Sasuke," Naruto grunted as he slid down his chair slightly and tilted his head back, frowning at the ceiling. "I know I said I might have stuff to resolve, but I don't want to resolve it; I just... Fuck, I really don't want to talk about this right now."
"We don't have to," I repeated firmly, a little worried by how upset he seemed. I really didn't know how this confirmation made me feel, especially because, judging by Naruto's reaction, something must've happened between them that had shaken him a lot.
Jealousy was not something I allowed myself to feel. To know that such a person had been Naruto's first made me feel uncomfortable, but I was not allowed to feel insecure. I did not allow myself to express any sort of feelings towards this knowledge because Naruto didn't know who my other lover was, and if he did, he would feel even worse.
So I shoved these unknown emotions aside. I had to be to him what he was to me and give him the same liberty that I had.
"Still, all I'm saying is that you can resolve your issues with him in whichever way you feel like," I proceeded, eyeing my boyfriend attentively. "Nobody has to know that we have an open relationship, Naruto, but I would feel better knowing that you accepted these terms."
Naruto huffed again and looked at me. "I really don't know what to say to you," he said, shaking his head and shrugging. "I don't want to be with anybody else, Sasuke, you know that. You can be with that guy; I never asked for anything in return, and Neji is... whatever I have to sort out about him does not mean I'm getting involved with him in any way. We're worlds apart now; I don't..."
"I understand," I interrupted, raising a hand to stop him. "Regardless of whether it's Neji or someone else, this is something I want you to have. I'm not telling you to get out there and find yourself another lover; I'm just asking you to accept that you can if you want. Or even something fleeting, whichever might cross your path that might be meaningful to you."
He looked at me in silence, chewing on his lower lip, and I couldn't understand if he looked pained or confused. Then he released a small laugh that sounded all but amused.
"It's funny," he said, snorting ironically. "That you suggest such a thing at this particular moment." Crossing his arms over his chest, Naruto shrugged again. "But fine, have it your way. If you think it will somehow make things better for our relationship, sure. It makes no difference to me. We're good the way we are."
It wasn't fine and Naruto wasn't pleased, but it took a huge weight off my shoulders, despite my knowing that I would feel terrible if I knew he was involved with someone else.
Still, it was a fair price to pay for my feelings and hopes towards Itachi.
Naruto had the right to be free and work himself out as much as he needed. He had the right to be curious about other people; he had the right to go running to someone else's arms if he felt like it because he was with me knowing how helplessly I wanted another man, too. Even if it pissed him off, I could not feel comfortable chaining him down to me.
I pressed my lips tightly together and leaned forward so I could touch a knuckle to his cheek. "You mean the world to me," I muttered sincerely. "I just really want to keep moving forward with you the way we had planned from the start. And it's been great all the way, and I know it can only get better."
Grabbing my hand, Naruto pressed a lingering kiss to my fingers. "Yeah, me too," he said gently. "I just wish you understood how much I preferred that we kept things simple. They're already complicated enough and I just... like you and want to enjoy that feeling in peace."
"It's impossible to make things simple when they've been ridiculous and complicated from the start," I joked with a small smile. "And it's all my fault, I know. But I really like you, too, and I do want to make the best out of it."
Rolling his eyes, Naruto smiled a little and tugged my hand towards him. "Come here, bastard. I missed you."
I watched him drag his chair further back. Taking the cue, I got up and quickly moved to straddle his legs, my arms surrounding him by the neck, feeling his hands on my waist, loving and gentle. There was a fond look in his eyes that I couldn't understand, but I pressed a small kiss to his lips. "I missed you too," I whispered against his lips. "Please don't be sad."
"I'm not sad; I'm just really overwhelmed," Naruto confessed, pressing his forehead against mine and sneaking his hands inside my sweater. "But really, there's no place where I'd rather be right now. I'm so glad we're together today."
"Trust me, so am I."
Our lips met slowly and we kissed a bit, unhurriedly, simply enjoying the comfortable embrace and the feeling of being in each other's presence. The newfound intimacy we now had was not different than before, but it made it feel even better.
"I was thinking that we could just skip the park and stay in," I suggested, kissing his cheek and running my fingers through his hair. "My dad has a few bottles of interesting stuff that we could try. Having a drink and getting railed by you again seems so much more appealing than watching fireworks in the cold."
"Aren't you tired of it already?" He inquired softly, his fingertips invading the hem of my sweater to touch my skin, giving me goosebumps.
"Not when you made it that good."
He chuckled. "You're shameless."
"We can always watch a movie," I suggested, jokingly sounding bored by the prospect, even though we both knew I was fine with whatever he decided to do, but bantering a bit was good.
"Sounds like a plan," Naruto acquiesced, pulling me close so we were hugging tighter, our bodies further pressed together.
"Which part?" I inquired, pressing my lips to his forehead.
"All of them. I'm fine as long as we can spend time together."
We exchanged another look and I leaned down to catch his mouth in mine again.
"Naruto," I called softly, leaning away. He met my gaze with curiosity in his eyes. "Let's tell everyone about us."
Naruto's expression shifted from curiosity to a mix of surprise and contemplation. "Would that, by chance, include coming out to your parents?"
I nodded. "Will you be there if I do?"
Naruto hesitated for a moment and looked down, the fingers of one hand tracing patterns on my pajama pants.
He finally looked up, meeting my gaze with determination. "Your dad will probably chop my dick off, but I'm with you all the way if this is what you want."
I chuckled at Naruto's comment, a mix of amusement and affection bubbling inside me. "Well, let's hope it doesn't come to that," I teased, my fingers gently playing with a strand of his hair.
Naruto grinned mischievously. "You never know. Maybe he's got a secret stash of swords."
We both snorted at the thought, the tension of our earlier conversation dissipating. It felt good to be in sync like this, sharing jokes and light-hearted moments.
"But yeah, I want everyone to know. I want us to be open and unapologetic about our relationship. We've hidden it for too long."
He nodded, a soft smile gracing his lips. His teeth grazed my chin as he said, teasingly, "I agree. It's time we let the world know how hot we are together."
I laughed, filled with such fondness that I didn't know what to do with myself.
It was such a feeling of contentment and joy that was so much simpler and lighter than what I felt when I was with Itachi that, for some reason, I felt completely relieved.
This was good. It was what I wanted. Being with Naruto was exactly how it should be and I was more grateful than ever to fate for having given me a chance to experience this with him.
That Naruto was the one who made me this happy and content was a blessing.
Of course, my brother was at the back of my mind at all times, never as a comparison but as yet another side of my love for him and Naruto. What I had with Itachi was completely different from what I had with my boyfriend; it was darker, too, and in some ways dirtier, but not any less meaningful or important to me.
Where Naruto was light, Itachi was darkness. Where Naruto was the sun, gentle breezes, and fluttering hearts, Itachi was a storm, a maze filled with riddles. They were worlds apart, but while it may seem that what they represented was the opposite, in truth, they were valuable in equal measure as far as romantic feelings went.
As individuals, though, it was a completely different story.
Regardless, this was what I wanted, and this was what Itachi was expecting me to have. For now, it would work; the only question was, until when?
But that was a game I had decided to play, and I could be ruthless and inflexible too, because that's exactly what my brother would hate and exactly what he would fight against, too.
For now, it was one of the happiest and most fulfilling days of the last few weeks, and I just wanted to bask in everything, keep setting myself free with Naruto, and always feel as confident as I did then that things would be fine.
Naruto deserved the world, and I would give him as much as I possibly could.
Naruto
Sasuke was cunning, but I knew he had no ill intention. He knew well how to balance what he wanted with what I wanted and had skillfully done so by suggesting an open relationship first, only to counter it with the suggestion that we make our relationship one hundred percent public.
Going public was not a simple thing; it was him telling his parents, his family, his school, and his social media followers that he was now a person who was not straight and was currently dating another person of the same gender. No matter what he did from now on, this was the label he would wear, and of course, I worried about him but was also immensely happy.
Sasuke was not the type of person who would ever do anything like this unless he trusted our relationship and was confident about what he wanted. That day, it became clearer than ever that he was very comfortable with who he had become and was more than ready to embrace it and accept it.
Even though we chose to stay home and spend New Year's exclusively in each other's company, we still texted our friends to let them know we were not meeting them at the park.
Together, we did what every teenager does and agreed to change our social media status to inform everyone we were now in a relationship, identifying the other as their significant other. Then, we took a few selfies together that made it obvious that it was true, but ultimately decided against showing real kissing because it would be inappropriate and too exposing. But, we still had fun and managed to take some great photos that I would look at whenever I missed him.
Eventually, we chose a single picture where he was smiling and I was kissing his cheek; it was deadly cute and honestly looked so genuine that it warmed my heart.
We both posted the same picture on our profiles. We barely managed to get to the living room and turn the TV on when our phones started buzzing like crazy as people reacted and commented.
"I don't even want to know what they're saying," Sasuke muttered as we cuddled on the sofa under a blanket.
"Let's not worry about this today, yeah?" I suggested putting an arm around his shoulders.
"Itachi just texted asking if he should expect a phone call from our parents," he said with a snort, his fingers quickly moving over the screen, replying to his brother with his head down. "I'm sure they're going to ask him if it's true before even talking to me."
"Hum, maybe I should text my parents too to let them know we probably need some mediation?" I suggested it thoughtfully. "Well, Dad knows and Mom….She kind of saw us making out when you came to say goodbye before Tokyo. Fully supportive, by the way; she always thought you were a catch."
"A very Kushina thing to say, but she should know you're the catch," Sasuke retorted, throwing his phone to the side once he was done texting. I leaned back on the arm of the sofa so he could snuggle against my chest and we were semi-lying together. "You're so good that you made me fall in love with you and want to come out as... well, I'm not sure what I want to come out as, but whatever."
"I'm good at what? sex?" I teased, now surrounding him with my arms comfortingly
"Also, but you're just good at everything."
I snorted, shaking my head. "Not true, but I'm glad you think so," I mumbled. "But well, you don't have to come out as anything specific, even though people will ask you about it."
"And what shall I say when they do?"
"That you're non-discriminating and open to just being happy." I pressed a kiss to the top of his head. "Sounds good to me."
"That's oddly accurate," Sasuke agreed, sounding slightly impressed as he chuckled.
I heaved a sigh, the warmth of the blanket and Sasuke's presence making me feel content and secure. "I guess we'll see how it goes and try to figure it out. I'm sure you'll find your answer at some point. I'll help you along the way, as I always have."
He nodded slowly and thoughtfully, his fingers tracing circles on my chest. "Yeah."
Inside of me was a good idea of what Sasuke was—what he would identify himself as—but I kept my mouth shut, perhaps because I hoped that I was wrong.
It was strange that, for an open-minded person, being forced to consider such a label for Sasuke upset me.
Truth be told, I was fine if Sasuke didn't ever want to label himself; he didn't have to; he was fine just being himself, content with himself, and that was one of the things that impressed and fascinated me about him.
Sasuke simply didn't dwell on questions or suffer an identity crisis. He didn't wonder whether it was right or wrong to enjoy this or that; he didn't care about who he felt attracted to. Perhaps because of Itachi's influence or because he was a model and had seen a lot of different concepts and met many different people, I still really liked that about him.
Not everyone is like that, and I envied him. If only my awakening and self-awareness had been that breezy...
Because I was in love with him, suddenly so many things felt... not wrong, just misplaced. I didn't want to think about the right or wrong aspects of our relationship. I knew what he wanted, and understood why he felt the need to make things even between us, but my own selfishness desperately desired simplicity.
Why couldn't it be just the two of us? Why couldn't we simply follow a straight line together and see where it would take us?
I hoped to see weeks, months, or perhaps years pass by beside him while we went through all the stages of life every couple dreams of living.
But, even if I hoped for it—even if I believed that what we had and how we felt would only become stronger with time and allow us to get there—a nagging part of me wondered if something would one day become a definite trigger to break us apart.
However, I was too happy and too hopeful, and just then, nothing seemed strong enough to ever pull us apart. If anything, I felt certain that we would only grow closer every step of the way.
We continued to lie there, not paying much attention to the buzzing phones or the world outside, simply enjoying each other as we watched some show on TV that surely neither was really paying attention to. At least in that moment, it was just the two of us, wrapped up in our own little world.
There was no Neji, no Kiba, and no phantom lover.
The next day would come and we would face it together. I would tell Sasuke the truth about the events that had happened to me, and life would move on.
There was no room for fear.
TBC…
A/N2: Don't kill me if this isn't how you had envisioned Sasuke's and Naruto's first time having sex. It wasn't how I had envisioned it, either, but this is how it turned out and I just followed the characters' wishes and emotions. I think I still prefer it better than my initial plans, because it confirmed to me that being with Itachi has definitely changed Sasuke, and it made me understand better how all these new events have shaped both Naruto and Sasuke and their relationship.
Anyway, I hope my beloved readers liked it! Please don't forget to comment, it means a lot to me! The love that this fic has received has made me immensely happy, and I thank you all for enjoying my writing and for caring for this story exactly as it is.
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