"Quite something, isn't it?" Garak remarked, stepping into the holosuite beside N'iv.
"I heard holoprograms were immersive, but this... this is incredible." She looked down, fascinated as the sand shifted around her boots.. "It's like I'm really here."
They began to walk along the beach, N'iv still visibly entranced by her surroundings. She tried not to look too shocked, attempting to act as though she were accustomed to such luxuries, but her eyes kept darting around, taking in every detail.
"I hope the environment is to your liking," Garak began. "As I said, I had to take a few liberties in guessing what is deemed comfortable for the Alar."
N'iv reached out to feel the virtual breeze, eyes fixed on the rolling waves. "It's beautiful," she said softly, her voice filled with admiration. "Though I must say, Alaris is quite a bit warmer."
Garak's eyebrows quirked at the observation. "Computer, raise the ambient temperature by ten degrees."
The adjustment was almost immediate, and N'iv's smile broadened. "I didn't know it could be adjusted like that."
"You can adjust anything you like. Within reason, of course," Garak replied. He noticed how her eyes kept wandering towards the water's edge.
"You know, you're free to enjoy the water if you like," he offered.
N'iv looked at him, a bit surprised, then back to the water, her longing evident. "I don't want to impose..."
"Nonsense, my dear," Garak dismissed, waving a hand. "This is your program after all. You know, I saw a rather charming chair back by that villa we passed. I think it might suit me for a relaxing sit. Please, make yourself at home."
He knew, of course, that he could easily have the computer materialize a chair, but he sensed N'iv might appreciate a moment to herself. He began to walk away, leaving her standing by the water's edge.
She stood so close that the waves lapped at her boots. Retreating a few paces, she untied her laces and shed most of her layers until she stood in only her light shorts and undershirt. Closing her eyes, she savored the soft breeze flowing over the subtle blue ridges that lined her sides. The ones near her shoulders, being most sensitive, tingled after confinement under her heavy jacket.
As she waded into the holographic water, she marveled at its authenticity. The temperature, salinity, even the rhythmic ebb and flow were uncannily accurate, albeit a touch cooler than the oceans of Alaris. She'd fix that.
Water crept up to her chest as she exhaled one last breath of humid air and submerged herself. Blinking, she allowed her third eyelids to engage, translucent membranes sliding into place. She had been careful to keep them hidden while on the station, fearing they'd betray her Andorian disguise. Here, though, she felt she could finally relax.
She dove deeper, reveling in the feel of the cool water rippling over the ridges on her shoulder and filtering through her gills. The slowly increasing water pressure felt like a familiar embrace. Shafts of simulated sunlight pierced through the water above, creating beams that danced across the sandy ocean floor.
Her skin began to warm with a soft, radiant glow, veins of bioluminescent light tracing intricate patterns across her arms, torso, and legs. It was a dance of warmth and color, a fusion of heritage and sensation that only the Alar could truly understand.
The light wasn't just for show. As she willed the bioluminescence to intensify, the water surrounding her began to heat, responding to the energy she was generating. It was a gradual transformation, each degree of warmth spreading outward from her in gentle waves, until the cool embrace of the sea turned into a comforting bath.
A sudden pang of guilt gripped her chest. Why was she here, playing around in a holographic ocean on this alien station? Why had she left her home, her people, violated sacred tenets? "For Kallim," she reminded herself, "To give him a chance at life."
Two voices warred within her, heritage against conviction, tradition against dreams. Hoping to leave them behind, she kicked to the surface, where the warm sunlight welcomed her back.
She spotted Garak on the beach with the chair he'd gone after, a colorful drink, and a bright floral shirt that made her laugh. He'd chosen a spot where the water's dropoff was steeper, allowing them to converse without her leaving the water. Thoughtful.
She dipped back beneath the surface and swam toward him. Though it had only been days since she'd last swum on Alaris, it felt like a lifetime ago.
"I never realized how hard it would be to be away from my planet," she said when she was near enough for him to hear. "I knew it wouldn't be easy, but…"
Garak looked out over the glistening water. "Distance does have a way of showing us the value of what we've left behind," he said, sipping his colorful drink. "But it also provides a perspective that can only be gained from stepping away."
She considered his words, the gentle lapping of the water providing a soothing backdrop. "Perhaps," she finally agreed, "but what if in stepping away, the road in between here and there is destroyed?"
Now Garak was intrigued. "Then the question becomes, were you hoping to travel that road back to where you started, or were you hoping that someone would follow you here?" His voice was gentle but probing.
N'iv looked down into the water, her reflection a distorted echo of her conflicted emotions. Garak's question had unearthed feelings she hadn't had the chance to fully examine. "Maybe I was hoping for both." A pause, then, "Is it childish of me to think the universe could work like that?"
"Hopeful, perhaps. But then again, hope can be a dangerous thing, N'iv. It tempts us with things that may never be within our reach."
Her expression faltered, but she nodded, understanding the wisdom in his words, even if they tasted bitter.
"The universe can be a cruel place, indifferent to our desires. We may wait for a lifetime for someone to follow us down a path, only to find no one ever had any intention of coming. It doesn't mean we can't strive to make the best of our situation, but it means we must be prepared for the possibility that our hopes may not be realized."
A somber expression settled on N'iv's face as she considered his words. The lapping of the water against her body seemed to highlight the hollow ache in her chest. "And what about traveling back?" she asked quietly. "Is that a different consideration?"
Garak's gaze didn't waver as he contemplated her question. It was clear that this was a deeply personal matter for her, and he chose his words with care. "Traveling back, my dear N'iv, can be equally fraught with peril. Roads that once seemed clear may become obscured, and bridges that were once sturdy may crumble with time."
"You speak as if you've experienced this yourself," she ventured softly, sensing that there was a deeper pain beneath his words.
Garak's expression tightened, a shadow passing over his eyes. The wound of his banishment from Cardassia, it seemed, had never really closed, and this conversation had reopened it. He looked away, lost in thought, unsure how he wanted to respond.
They sat there in silence, the holographic ocean stretching out around them, both lost in their own worlds. After what seemed an eternity, Garak finally spoke, his voice barely more than a whisper. "Yes, N'iv, I have experienced it. More than I care to admit."
In a rare moment of vulnerability, he continued, "You see, I was exiled from the homeland I love, from Cardassia, a place to which, for better or worse, I will always be loyal. My actions, my choices, led me down a path that resulted in my separation from everything I held dear."
His words were measured, carefully chosen, yet there was an authenticity to them that N'iv had never heard before. It was the truth, or at least something close to it. And she knew that it was a significant thing for him to share.
"The road back has been closed to me for a long time now," he added. "I've learned to adapt, to find a new path, but the longing for what was lost never truly goes away."
A pang of disappointment struck N'iv at his words. She had expected it, knew deep down that it was true, but hearing it from someone who had lived it made the reality all the more biting. She didn't want to accept it, because even if her hope was delusional, it hurt less not to let go of it.
She finally spoke, her voice quiet and contemplative. "I guess I was hoping for some reassurance that the hurt would eventually go away, that time would heal the wounds. But I see now it's not that simple."
Garak was silent, lost in thought. His eyes wandered out to the horizon, and he seemed to be wrestling with something. The silence stretched on, filled only by the gentle sound of the waves and the distant cries of seabirds.
Finally, he turned back to her, his expression inscrutable. "Forgive me for asking, but who is it that you were hoping would follow you?"
The question caused a pained expression to surface on N'iv's face. She opened her mouth a few times to answer, but each time found her thoughts difficult to put into words.
Finally, she decided to take a step back and give him the context he'd need to properly understand her answer. "The Alar culture," she began, "is very much centered around the ideas of collective responsibility and shared identity. Without that, there is no understanding of our ways."
She wiped a few beads of water from her pale-white eyebrows. "My full name is Alaris Kaelistiphoros T'tevi Eska N'ivryn." She gave him a moment to take in the mouthful of syllables. "It's more than a name; it's a representation of the sacred bonds that comprise my identity."
He sat attentive, waiting for her to continue.
"The name Alaris is held by every Alar. It's the spirit that connects us all, a unifying force at our core that is sacred above all. It's the heartbeat of our world," N'iv explained, her voice filled with reverence.
"Kaelistiphoros is shared by all those in my region. It represents the bond of unity and service. Our mutual responsibilities to one another and our shared destinies. It's a link to our place in the world," she continued, her voice strong and full of pride. "The T'tevi is shared with my immediate community. It represents the bonds formed by family ties, our connections to those closest to us. It's a reminder of our intimate interdependence."
She stopped, her expression drifting more introspective.
"And the Eska?" Garak gently prodded.
She seemed to wrestle with the words for a moment before saying, "Sharing a name with someone in our culture, it…it's more than just a symbolic gesture." She hated that it was so difficult trying to formulate what she wanted to say.
Finally, she spit out the only words she could think of to explain the significance. "She is N'ivryn Eska, and I am Eska N'ivryn."
Garak's eyes softened. "I see."
N'iv nodded. "But to answer your original question," she paused, gathering her thoughts, "I guess part of me hopes that all the Alar might follow me someday. That somehow, we can find a way to reconcile the beliefs that have guided us for years with a willingness to engage with and accept the universe beyond our borders."
She toyed with a leaf that had blown into the water. "I want them to see what I see. To understand that there is so much good out here, and that staying true to ourselves doesn't have to mean shutting everyone else out."
"Changing the tides of a culture is no small task," he answered, his tone sharpening.
"Do you believe it's worth it to try?"
"Do you?"
"It is for Kallim." A shadow of something fierce crept into her eyes. "At least this way he has a chance. He deserves better than being surrounded by a community that claims to love him but pretends nothing is wrong as they watch hundreds of innocent children die."
Garak tapped a finger against his drink. He couldn't help noticing the acidity harbored in the words. "And how far are you willing to go in pursuit of this future you envision?"
"I don't care what they do to me. Imprison me, hurt me, kill me. Fine. It's still better than trying to live with myself if I'd done nothing."
He reflected on her earlier words. "Yet the consequences won't fall to you, will they?"
She turned away, unable to face him.
He was aware the current line of conversation risked quickly becoming emotionally volatile, but he had to know how dedicated she truly was to her cause. When push came to shove, would she stay true to her convictions, or would she fold the moment the real world got a little too real. "You told me the core tenet of your people is collective responsibility. Sounds to me like a society that doesn't believe in individual penance."
He let the words linger for just a moment, heavy in the humid air. "What will happen, to your Eska, your fellow T'tevi, your Kaelistophoros?"
When she finally turned back it was with a tortured mask of emotions. "I don't know. There is no category for what I have done."
"Then I'll ask you again." All softness had drained from Garak's voice, leaving only a cold rigidity. "Do you believe it is worth it?"
Her expression settled, lips pressed into a firm line. Whatever war of words was going on in that head of hers, it had finally distilled into resolve. "Yes. And I'd do it a hundred times over if I had to."
Garak acknowledged it with a slow nod. He still had many questions, but now he had the answer to a crucial one. Before he could formulate his next inquiry, though, muffled voices sounded from afar.
A door materialized out of thin air, just down the beach from the pair. Dax stepped through, a protesting Quark trailing behind. N'iv instinctively ducked under the water until only her eyes and Andorian antennae remained above the surface.
"You can't just barge in like this, Dax! They're in the middle of a program!"
"I'm sorry, Quark, but this is urgent." Dax snapped back, brushing him aside. She looked to N'iv and Garak, her expression apologetic but firm. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but I've just heard from Julian. N'iv, he's asked you to come to the infirmary immediately."
Quark threw up his hands in exasperation and stalked off, muttering to himself about the disregard for proper holosuite etiquette.
"Is everything all right?" she asked, emerging a few inches from the water.
"I'm not sure. Julian just said he needed to see you right away."
