J
"Jennie, sweetie. Thank God!" Hyunji rushed to my bedside. "It's gonna be okay. We're here." She wrenched her hands around my neck and shoulders to hug me.
Fred was frantically turning on all my bedroom lamps. It was dark outside so I presumed it must be night again. My eyes were swollen; I had a hard time focusing them in the new light.
"Should I call Nine-One-One?" Tammy asked in a panic from the opening where my bedroom door once stood.
Hyunji ran her hand across my face to wipe my hair from my eyes.
"Jennie, talk to me. Do you need to go to the hospital?" Hyunji's voice cracked when she asked.
Extreme sadness burst back into my chest and I started to weep again. I doubted any hospital in the world would be able to mend a shattered heart.
"I don't think she needs an ambulance, Tammy," Fred said from the other side of my bed. I felt him pet my hair.
"Oh, Jennie, it will be all right!" Hyunji hugged me tightly. "Sweetie, what happened?"
"It's… over," I choked out. It was pure agony to say the words out loud.
Hyunji looked over at Fred and shook her head.
"Tell us what happened," Hyunji whispered.
"I saw Lisa with Rosé," I uttered between sobs. "I saw it with my own eyes. Lisa touched her face, and kissed her hand, and I watched as she leaned over the table to kiss her. Right there in the restaurant for everyone to see." The magnitude of my admission crushed me again.
"Who, Jennie? Who was she with?" Fred asked gently.
"Rosé. She was with Rosé. All the rumors about them… they're true." I barely had the will to speak.
"Jennie, Lisa was filming," Hyunji spoke cautiously.
I stared at her face through my tears, wondering why she believed her.
"Sure she was. That's why the paparazzi were there," I muttered.
She grimaced at me. "What's all over your shirt?"
I looked at my chest, noticing yellow spots on the fabric.
"I think I threw up last night," I sputtered. Another crack of unbearable sadness struck my heart.
"Come on; let's get you in the shower." She tore the blankets off my body and wrapped her arm around my back to help me out of bed.
"Have you eaten anything?" Hyunji asked, walking me to the bathroom.
I felt confused and weak. I couldn't remember when I ate last. When I shook my head, the motion made me feel dizzy.
"Tammy, see if you can make something for Jennie to eat," Hyunji requested.
"I'm not hungry," I whispered. I deserved to feel the emptiness inside my chest. After all, it was the result of my own stupidity.
"Jennie! You have to eat!" Hyunji scolded, turning on the shower.
"What happened to your cast?" She peeled a big chunk of the casing off. The gauze padding was hanging out over my hand.
"I got it wet," I answered, pulling on a piece of cotton thread that hung out from the hole around my thumb.
"Fred, do you have any tape? Look at this! It's falling apart. I'll call her doctor tomorrow."
Fred came back with his toolbox. I wished he would have just cut it off instead of wrapping it in silver tape.
"Why didn't you call us, Jennie? We're your friends!" Tammy stressed, pulling my sweatpants off my body. "You're not alone in this!"
"Tammy, let's just get her washed." Hyunji pulled my T-shirt off over my head and tossed it across the bathroom. "We need to wrap her cast in plastic first."
"I'll go strip her bed then," Tammy volunteered. "Are these her antidepressants? Here Jennie, take this. Drink."
"Can you stand or do you want me to run a bath?" Hyunji asked, pushing back the shower curtain.
I stepped into the shower, noticing that the bruises on my stomach were almost completely gone but I had a fresh black and blue mark on my thigh. I couldn't remember how I got that one.
The hot water actually felt good on my skin although it stung a little on my face where I had been rubbing my eyes.
I used my right hand to push the water through my hair, hoping that the stream would somehow reach my memories and cleanse them of the nightmares.
A few long strands of hair dislodged and tangled around my fingers like a spider web. Oh how I wished they would have been strong enough to pull the misery from my mind before breaking away from my head!
Hyunji handed my toothbrush to me. "Brush your teeth while you're in there."
I let the water stream into my dry mouth, swallowing some to quench my thirst. I was feeling weak and tired and utterly miserable, so I leaned up on the wall.
Will I ever find the strength to move on?
The shrill of a cell phone ringing startled me. I knew it wasn't mine. My cell phone was probably in pieces on a Florida highway by now.
"We found her," I heard Hyunji whisper. "She's in the apartment…" Her voice trailed off.
I knew it was Lisa she was talking to. I wondered why she even cared. Maybe she was feeling guilty for crushing me? I had no pity for her. She could wallow in her guilt for the rest of her life for all I cared.
The shower curtain pulled back slightly and Hyunji popped her head into the opening.
"You're not going to get clean that way!" She frowned at me. "It helps if you actually let the water touch your body."
She pushed her sleeves up on her arms and turned the water diverter to shut the overhead shower off.
"Here, let me help. Sit down in the tub." Hyunji pushed the drain plug down and started to fill the tub with hot water. She swirled her hand around in the water by my feet.
"Sandy said that she's having a bunch of specials down at the salon this month. We should go get our nails done. She has this new foot soak stuff; she says it smells like peppermint…"
"Who were you just talking to on the phone?" I interrupted her.
She stopped washing my shoulders and put more soap on the sponge. Her lips pursed together and I knew she didn't want to say her name.
"I wasn't talking to anyone," she lied. "Here, wash your body." She squeezed some shampoo onto my hair.
"Sandy also told me about this new shampoo she got that has seaweed and plankton mixed in it, but I told her that it didn't sound very appealing. I mean have you smelled the ocean lately? Who wants to wash their hair with crap floating in the o…"
"Hyunji, I heard you talking to someone," I interrupted again. "Please don't lie."
Her fingers froze for a moment in my hair.
"I love you, Jennie. We all love you. You are the closest thing I have to a sister in this world. And I know you are in pain right now, so I want to help you get past it so you can see things clearly." I felt her fingernails scrub my scalp.
"You know exactly who I was just talking to. I know you're upset, so I'm not going to say her name out loud, but she is the reason we knew to look for you," Hyunji admitted. "She called me. She called Fred. She begged us to get through to you when you wouldn't answer her calls. None of us even knew you came home."
"I don't want you talking to her anymore," I commanded hoarsely.
"Let's just finish getting you clean and then we're going to get some food into your body. You need to re-examine the situation with a fresh attitude, okay sweetie?" Hyunji dismissed my order.
"Promise me you won't talk to her anymore. It's over," I whispered.
"I can't do that," she muttered.
"Promise me!" I begged, looking her in the eyes.
"No!" Hyunji said with conviction. "I will not promise that!"
"Then choose – right now – her or me!" I demanded with new tears in my eyes.
"Tammy? Can you get me a big plastic cup from the kitchen please?" Hyunji yelled over her shoulder. "Wash your stinky pits. You smell like shit," she fired back, rummaging through the cabinet below the sink. "Here's a new razor."
I took it from her hand and threw it at the garbage can. "Those aren't mine. You can throw all of those blue ones in the garbage."
"Listen! I know you're hurting. And I also know you're miserable and confused. But don't piss me off on top of it!"
Tammy handed her a cup. Hyunji repeatedly filled it with water and dumped it on my head to rinse my hair.
--
"I made spaghetti," Tammy informed while Hyunji was helping me get dressed. "That's about all the food she has in this apartment. I'll have to go grocery shopping."
"Thanks, Tammy," Hyunji said. "But I think it's time that Jennie resumes her life. Tonight we'll just relax and make sure she eats and takes her medicine. Tomorrow she is going to get out of this apartment and start pulling her life back together."
Hyunji tossed a T-shirt from the dresser to me. It was one of Lisa's.
"This isn't mine, it's hers." I cast the shirt aside on the bed.
"So what? Put it on." Hyunji tossed it back to me. "Maybe you'll remember all the reasons why you love her and used to trust her?"
The sobbing started again. "I don't want to remember." I threw the liar's shirt at the wall. "The sooner I can forget the better."
"Does it smell like her?" Hyunji asked, sniffing the cotton shirt she retrieved from the floor. "No? Well I can fix that."
She took Lisa's bottle of cologne off the dresser and spritzed her shirt. Then she spritzed the air a few times, wafting the air with her arms.
"Stop! Don't do that!" I cried out. I didn't want to deal with anything that reminded me of her.
"Stop what? Stop remembering the person who loves you? Stop remembering that she exists?" Hyunji yelled.
"Hyunji!" Tammy barked. "Is that really necessary right now?"
"Yes! Yes it is! It's called 'tough love' and she needs to snap her ass back into reality as quickly as possible!" Hyunji insisted, stabbing her finger at me. "Time is of the essence here."
She threw her T-shirt at me. "Put it on," she ordered - almost a dare.
"Go to hell!" I spit my words at her.
Hyunji spritzed Lisa's cologne in the air again. The smell of her scent permeated the air, reminding me of happier times.
"So help me God, I will kick your ass if you do it again!" I screamed at her.
"Go ahead and try! You're so weak from starving yourself that a light breeze could blow you over," she sneered. "Put on Lisa's shirt."
"Why are you doing this to me?" I cried in my hand. "I flew all the way down there. I went to the restaurant that they told me to go to!" I started to hyperventilate.
"It's over! I saw it! I saw it with my own eyes! I saw her lean over the table to kiss her and watched as she shoved her tongue in her mouth! Right there in a public restaurant! Just like Mingyu. Just like a fucking coward. She's a liar! All those rumors of her cheating on me with that whore were true. Why are you doing this to me?" I cried again.
"Because you're wrong and I can prove it," Hyunji sighed. "Come on… put a shirt on."
She led me by the hand to my computer, where my friends proceeded to circle around me so I couldn't escape.
"You need to see these." Hyunji opened an email from Lisa. "Is this what you saw?" she questioned as she opened the files attached.
The first picture was the same view of what I saw in that restaurant window. There was Lisa and Rosé sitting at a table, visible from the street.
It was like reliving the nightmare all over again, seeing Lisa kissing Rosé. The searing pain made me look away.
"What time did you go to this restaurant, Jennie?" Hyunji asked.
"Why? What difference does it make? Didn't the cheating bastard want me to see this?"
Hyunji asked the same question again, emphasizing each of her words.
"I don't remember. Four, four-thirty?" The tears were streaming down my cheeks. Tammy was rubbing my shoulders tenderly.
"Why did you even go here?" Hyunji pointed to the screen. "The plan was for you to go from her hotel to Key Biscayne."
A moment of total surprise slipped into my sadness.
"Key Biscayne?" I questioned her comment. "What are you talking about?"
"Nevermind," Hyunji quickly dismissed.
"Wait, how do you know where I was going when I didn't even know?" I asked.
Hyunji ignored my question and tapped her fingernail back on the image of the restaurant window.
"How did you know Lisa was here?" she asked a second time.
"Someone called my cell and told me that I needed to come quickly and see what was going on with my own eyes."
"Who called you?" Hyunji's head whipped around to look at me.
"I don't know - some guy. He said I needed to know the truth."
Hyunji gave Fred a dreadful look. "Did he give you a name? What did he say exactly?" She pressed anxiously for answers.
"He didn't give a name. He said he was a reporter or something. He told me where Lisa was – even gave me the address. I had a cab drive me there."
"Shit, Fred! Lisa needs to know this!" Hyunji flashed her eyes back to me. "Jennie, where did you think Lisa was?"
"I thought she was going to be at the hotel." I wiped my eyes. "She was only scheduled to film until two o'clock. I tried calling her but her voicemail picked up. I went into the bedroom to unpack and I found a love note from Rosé to Lisa."
Hyunji bowed her head in disgust.
"I know. Lisa found the letter on the sidewalk by the cab stand," she muttered.
"She was planning on leaving me," I sputtered. Tears streamed down my cheeks again from the pain of her betrayal.
"No, she wasn't!" Hyunji insisted loudly. "I don't get it, Fred." Hyunji groaned, questioning him with her eyes. "Jennie, I asked Lisa point blank if she ever cheated on you and she said no, absolutely not," she stated firmly.
I scoffed. "And you believed her?"
"Well, there are other things. I can't say - I promised. Yes, I believe her."
"You're right! You don't get it! None of you get it!" I shouted, angry that my friends were siding with her.
"I saw them having dinner together! I read Rosé's little love letter encouraging Lisa to break up with me. I found the whore's panties on her bedroom floor. I saw Lisa touch her and kiss her with my own eyes! That's it, it's over! She can have her!" My throat strained from screaming. I had no fight left in me. "Turns out I wasn't enough after all."
Tammy wrapped me in her arms, gently trying to shush me while I became more and more hysterical. I was shaking all over.
"Jennie, come on! You have to admit this doesn't sound right. I mean how would some reporter find out your cell phone number?" Fred asked.
"What does it matter?" I sobbed into Tammy's shoulder. "Feel free to go down there and break her face."
"No way! Not knowing what we know. I agree with Hyunji. Lisa wouldn't lie about this - not now. Somebody set you up… but who?" Fred pondered.
I glared at him. "Yeah, sure. There's some big conspiracy going on." I wiped my eyes. "What else could it possibly be?" I said sarcastically. I didn't understand why my friends were so gullible.
"Jennie, look at this picture. Is this what you saw?" Hyunji pointed to my computer screen.
"Are those the pictures she sent to cover her tracks? They could have been taken on any number of days."
"Turn around and answer my question! Is this what you saw?" Hyunji showed me another picture.
"Similar," I murmured. All the pictures she showed me were taken from inside the restaurant. Why are there pictures of this quality from inside the restaurant?
"No, this is exactly what you saw. Do you see that?" Hyunji pointed to a long, thin block at the bottom of each picture. "Lisa said all of these are date/time stamped as they film it."
The date and time matched when I was there. My birth date was on all of them. My pulse quickened from the shock.
"What's that?" Hyunji pointed to something gray at the top of the picture. It was hard to discern what it was.
"I don't know," I whispered out.
"How about in this picture? Don't look at her kissing her." Hyunji covered them with her hand. "What is that?" She pointed again to something gray at the top of the picture. The elongated oval shape was more pronounced.
I gasped.
Hyunji turned to look up at me. "Do you see it now?" She smiled.
It was crystal clear what the gray thing was now… it was the microphone boom.
Lisa was on location filming, and the date and time stamps proved it.
"No, but why?" My vision became blurry and the room started to spin. "She left note… I read… wha? Not stupposed be filmin."
A high-pitched tone started ringing in both of my ears and I couldn't feel my legs. That's when the room tilted sideways… and disappeared.
--
"Jennie?" I heard the familiar voices urgently calling my name. Something cool and wet was touching my face. Something annoying was smacking my cheek.
"Hey there! Welcome back." Fred smiled, dabbing my face with a cold washrag.
"What?" I tried to sit up. "What happened?" The room was still spinning slightly.
"You blacked out. You're okay. Here, can you drink this?" Fred held the cup to my mouth.
"Ugh! That tastes awful!" I picked a small chunk of something grainy off of my tongue.
"Tammy crushed some vitamins into a cup of water. We need to get some nourishment into you," he gently spoke. "It's either this or we're going to take you to the emergency room."
I reached for the cup. "I don't want to go to the hospital," I muttered. "Reporters…"
The next hour was spent quietly getting me to eat and drink, and most importantly – to stay calm.
Parts of my trip to Florida flashed through my thoughts, but I couldn't remember all the details for some reason. Perhaps my last fragments of self-preservation and survival suppressed the memories deep in my subconscious to protect me from having a complete mental breakdown?
I remembered crying on an airplane. I remembered Mino helping me into a car.
"I can't do this anymore," I whispered, staring blankly at my bowl of spaghetti. Tammy was sitting in front of me on the ottoman. She patted my leg.
"You need to eat some more, Jennie." Tammy nudged me. "Hyunji will get to the bottom of it."
I couldn't eat. Hyunji was filling Lisa in on my current state of mental collapse.
"Stop it, Lisa! She is not sneaking around with Mino behind your back!" Hyunji groaned angrily. "Because you didn't see the state she was in when we found her, that's how I'm sure!
"Lisa, what part of we had to kick your bedroom door in to get to her is unclear to you? We almost called for an ambulance – she was that bad! Believe me, Jennie is far from happy and in love with some other guy right now. Yes, she knows I'm talking to you. I'm looking right at her."
I scoffed. Of course this would get turned around on me! My supposed infidelity with Mino gave her an excuse.
"Lisa! Listen to me! Jennie said she found the note in your suite, and then right after that someone called her on her cell. This mystery caller guy is the one who told her where you were! He led her to believe you were cheating on her. I mean, how else would Jennie be able to find you when you were out on location?"
I watched Hyunji pace the floor while she talked to her.
"No, Jennie said he never gave a name. He told her that they were taking pictures of you, so I guess he was paparazzi?"
She moved the phone away from her ear. I could hear Lisa shouting.
"Lisa! Calm down, all right? Think. Who else has her number?" Hyunji asked.
She looked at me. "Jennie, do you remember if there was a name or number on your cell?"
"No, there wasn't," I whispered.
"Where is your phone?" She grasped the air. "Get it for me."
I regretted my foolishness, but there was nothing I could do to change it.
"It's on a highway in Florida," I admitted.
Tammy rolled her eyes at me.
"Lisa, I'm telling you, she didn't know you were still filming! Well, did you tell her that your schedule changed?" Hyunji yelled back at her.
"She said the morning shoot got pushed back because Rosé was feeling sick but later she felt better so they were behind schedule when they filmed the restaurant scene," she whispered to me. "She didn't get a chance to call because you were already on the plane and she was on location."
"I guess she was in such a hurry to see her that she forgot to throw her love note away?" I muttered, thoroughly disgusted with the lies. "Ask her how long she's been fucking her."
Hyunji gave me a dirty look and covered her phone with her hand so Lisa wouldn't hear me.
"Let her cover her tracks," I said scornfully. "Go ahead and believe her because I sure don't."
Hyunji groaned. "Lisa, she hasn't been answering your calls because apparently she no longer has a cell phone.
"Quit yelling in my ear!" she yelled back at her. "Stop it, Lisa! You love Jennie and Jennie loves you. She's a mess; you're a mess. You both need to chill out!
"Lisa, listen to the facts! Does any of this sound logical to either one of you?"
Hyunji spent another twenty minutes trying to calm her down. Eventually, she snapped her phone shut. "She's going to call back."
While she talked, my mind collapsed from the strain.
"When she calls back, tell her she can come and get her shit out of my apartment, because I'm done with all of this. I'm done with the lies, and the rumors, and the photographs, and having my girlfriend shove her tongue in some other girl's mouth when she thinks I'm not looking. It's over," my voice cracked. The familiar pain rippled through my chest again.
"Just calm down. Nothing is over. You're overreacting," Hyunji patronized me.
"Get out," I seethed. "Just get out and take the rest of the Lisa Fan Club with you." I stormed past her, wishing my bedroom door wasn't broken so I could slam it shut.
"Jen, don't be like this." Hyunji followed me.
"I don't get it, Hyunji! I thought you were my best friend? Aren't you supposed to be on my side? Or are you so blinded by worshiping miss famous that you believe her?" I yelled at her. "Call her back. I'm sure she'll fuck you too."
Hyunji gritted her teeth and before I could react, she slapped me across the face.
My hand covered the sting she left on my cheek. She smacked me hard enough that my eyes started to water. Tears formed right after that. Everyone I loved in this world had just betrayed me.
"Get a grip already, damn it!" Hyunji screamed at me.
"I told you that if you ever screwed this relationship up I would kick your ass myself. And here you are, royally screwing up the best thing that has ever happened to you! Lisa loves you, you idiot! She's not screwing Rosé!"
Hyunji started to pace my bedroom floor. Tammy was trying to hold me as I sobbed on my bed.
"Fred! I'm gonna…!" Hyunji stated emphatically, losing her patience.
"No, Hyunji, don't!" Fred lunged forward. "Last resort…"
Hyunji held her breath for a moment before turning her glare back to me.
"If you want a future with that person then you need to stop thinking this way - immediately! Do you think that Lisa Manoban, the one who has been insanely in love with you since the first day she met you, would do that to you? Do you honestly think she would put you on a plane, fly you first class to stay in a luxury suite so she could accidentally let you see some bogus love note and break up with you?"
She gaped at me, waiting for my response. I had none.
"What was waiting for you in her hotel room?" Hyunji asked angrily.
"Hyunji!" Tammy cautioned.
Hyunji waved her off. "Jennie!"
"Nothing." I sniffed. "Heartache and devastation… and some skanky ho's panties."
Hyunji groaned. "No, Jennie. I'm talking about the dresses."
"Oh, yeah… the rest of Rosé's clothing," I muttered. "A whole rack of her glamorous things. More evidence of her staying in her room."
"Jennie!" Tammy scolded. "All those gowns were for you!"
I rolled my eyes. "I don't think so. Wait, how do you know about the dresses?"
"Versace, Vera Wang, Jimmy Choo… sound familiar?" Hyunji asked. "Please tell me you at least looked at the dresses!"
"I did. I thought I was in the wrong room; I mean why would Lisa have evening gowns on a rack?" I asked.
"They were for you!" Hyunji insisted. "Lisa arranged to have a variety of dresses there - she wanted you to have your pick of what you would wear to dinner."
I looked at Hyunji, surprised that she knew all these details and shocked that the dresses were for me.
"And why do you suppose Lisa would want to dress you up in an expensive dress and Jimmy Choos? So she could leave you for Rosé?" Hyunji shook her head. "She made a ton of arrangements…"
"Hyunji!" Tammy and Fred both yelled at the same time.
Hyunji gave them both a reproachful look and continued. "To take you on a private, romantic dinner on Biscayne Bay for your birthday," she finished.
I felt my heart lodge into my throat.
Hyunji crouched down in front of me. "All of us want to see you happy, not miserable and broken like this. Lisa is so in love with you!" She smiled. "Don't give up on her."
--
"Jen, pull your end over a bit more," Tammy asked, fixing the clean bed sheet on my bed. "Hyunji, we need one more pillow case."
Fred had gathered overnight bags together and everyone was staying with me. My friends weren't about to leave me alone.
"We could always play cards," Fred suggested. He looked hopeful.
"That's up to Jennie," Tammy answered.
I crawled onto my bed and pulled the quilt up over my shoulder. "Not tonight," I muttered.
Hyunji had her pajamas on already even though it was only nine thirty. She hopped onto Lisa's side of the bed and turned on her bed lamp.
"I'm sorry for slapping you." She snuggled behind me, patting my back.
"You really hit me hard," I whispered.
"I didn't mean to." Hyunji sounded remorseful. "You were getting irrational. I hope you forgive me. I promise I'll never do it again."
"That's what you said when we were fifteen and you told Adam Caldwell that I wanted to kiss him."
Hyunji chuckled lightly. "Well you did!"
"Yeah, but the entire baseball team didn't need to hear you," I groaned.
We both laughed.
"Lisa never called back," I said sadly.
"Give her time," she whispered. "She is just as upset as you are. She is trying to figure out who did all of this and film a movie at the same time. She's crushed right now too."
Hyunji sighed and fluffed the pillow up under her head. "Someone sure went out of their way to try and break you two up, that's for sure."
"I should have never opened that envelope on her bed," I sighed. "I thought it was a hotel bill or something at first. Maybe if I wouldn't have seen it…" I took a deep breath. "Ah, who am I trying to kid? Nothing changes the fact that Rosé wrote the note."
"Jen, Rosé didn't write that note. Lisa confronted her about it. She said Rosé's handwriting didn't even come close to what was on that paper. Even Mike was there to verify it."
I tried to remember what Rosé's handwriting looked like. I had seen it once on the card that I found in the front of Lisa's suitcase, on the day that Lisa told me she wanted to stay with me in the apartment.
"So the note was bogus and Lisa was really filming?" I asked. My chest was starting to feel tight again.
"Wait, back up," Hyunji said quickly. "Where was the note again?"
"When I went to the bedroom, the bellboy had parked my suitcase at the foot of the bed. The note was on top of her bed by my suitcase."
"It was on the bed?" Hyunji asked. Her eyes were all scrunched together as she questioned me.
"Yes." I motioned my answer. "And the panties were on the floor, right next to my suitcase."
"If you were going to leave a note for someone who was supposedly still asleep, wouldn't you put it where they would see it, like on a table or the nightstand? How did it get on top of the bed?" she asked.
"I don't know," I answered. "And it doesn't change the fact that there was some girl's black panties on her floor, Hyunji. Maybe she's not sleeping with Rosé, but she had some girl in her bedroom."
"Jennie! Lisa is not screwing around on you! Was her bed made or was it still slept in?" she asked.
"It was made," I said, wondering what her point was.
"Housekeeping," she said, drawing some conclusion.
At this point the damage was already done. The only thing left to question was whether the damage was irreparable or not.
"I've been feeling like all the odds have been stacked against us from the very beginning," I muttered. "As if that wasn't hard enough, fate keeps throwing Mino at me on top of it. If it wasn't for him, I'd probably still be wandering around in a daze in the Miami airport."
"Jennie, what was Mino doing in the airport?"
"You know, I asked him that on the plane. He said he was there on a job but his assignment was finished. Lisa said he saw Mino on one of the sets last week. Lisa called Mino's company to have him removed, so Mino wasn't supposed to be in Miami anymore. Lisa told me that Mino was instructed by his company to stay away from me."
"I know," Hyunji admitted.
My wide eyes locked onto her face. I hadn't told her about Mino being in Florida. That was a fight between Lisa and me that I kept to myself.
"You know the paparazzi took your picture with him in the airport. That's why Lisa is so pissed," Hyunji informed cautiously. "There are pictures of Mino hugging you."
I threw the covers off and hurried to my computer. Fred and Tammy were in the living room watching Sunday night television.
I searched one of the online sources for paparazzi photos that I knew of. It was hard to get past the viscous headlines.
"Oh God!" I groaned, viewing pictures of me looking like a drowned rat. "Does Lisa think I look happy to see Mino in any of these shots?"
I studied the picture of Mino hugging and consoling me. "Look, my arms are straight. I'm not even hugging him back. And here it looks like I'm pushing him away from me. How could Lisa even think that I have feelings for this guy?"
"How could you ever doubt Lisa's love for you?" Tammy whispered.
"I never doubted Lisa before, but when I saw the love letter and the panties… and then got a phone call telling me that she was with the other woman at that moment – what was I supposed to think?" I retorted.
I looked back at the pictures on my computer. "When I was on the plane to come home, I guess I started to agree with Mino. He said that all things happen for a reason and maybe it was better that all this happened now instead of having Lisa leave me after we're married and bring children into this world. That's usually when all the celebrity marriages end."
Hyunji groaned angrily. "That slick bastard."
I looked at a few more pictures, reliving the devastation I felt at the time they were taken all over again.
"The note said that she'd let this go on long enough. I didn't know what to believe." My fingers trailed down my computer screen.
Hyunji couldn't wait any longer; she punched a few keys on her cell phone. "Lisa, what did you find out?"
I knew Lisa had Hyunji's cell number; I never knew Hyunji had her.
"Housekeeping said there weren't any undergarments on the floor when they made her bed," Hyunji whispered over the phone to me.
She informed her about how the bellboy must have put the note on the bed and her suspicions about Mino's involvement.
"She wants to talk to you." Hyunji smiled, holding out her cell.
"Hi," I whispered apprehensively. I didn't know how she would react to me.
"Hi," Lisa said softly. "Are you okay?"
"No," I admitted; the burn of remorse seeped into my chest. "I thought I lost you."
"Jen, Honey…" She breathed heavily. "Why, I mean, how could you think?" Lisa's voice cracked.
"I yelled for you. I ran after you!" Her speech quivered. "I didn't know why you left me."
"The note… it said you were going to end it with me. I thought… you and Rosé." The tears streamed down my cheeks. "I was going to wait and show it to you and make you tell me to my face that she was what you wanted, but then some man called and I saw you in the restaurant… I didn't know you were filming… I swear I didn't know."
"So you were going to give up? Just like that?" Lisa asked.
"If Rosé is what you need to be happy, what's the point in fighting? Would it ever make a difference and change your mind if you wanted someone else? I've been there before, Lisa. Once one person in the relationship veers off course, there's nothing that can bring them back."
She was silent. I could hear her breathing. Her lack of conversation frightened me even further, but I waited.
"How…" she choked on her words. "How can we ever… make it… if you don't believe in me?"
The hollow pain shot back into my chest. She was veering off course.
"I do believe in you!" I defended. "I do." My words came in pleading whispers. "But how was I to take evidence that stated otherwise?"
Lisa's breathing became louder, labored.
"What happens the next time some fan sends some bullshit letter that you think is real? Are we going to be right back in this same spot again?" she snapped angrily.
"No, we won't, because reading some letter that arrives in the mail is a lot different than finding a love note from your co-star ex-girlfriend and silk panties that aren't mine on the floor next to your bed in your hotel room."
"I'm afraid now that you'll never be able to trust me," she muttered.
I could hear it in her voice and I knew her well enough to know she was trying to convince herself otherwise.
"That depends…" I uttered softly, wiping my tears.
"On what?"
"If you give me a chance to have a next time," I sighed, fearing her answer. If she wanted an out, here was her opportunity.
Lisa huffed in my ear. "I don't know," she murmured. "Jen, I'm an actor. This is what I do. If you can't trust me…"
I closed my eyes as new tears burned my face.
"What about you?" I asked, my tears clogged my throat. "Are you going to think I'm having affairs with other men when you're not around? You think I arranged to run to the arms of that asshole? I still don't remember how I ended up at the airport, Lisa."
I wiped the back of my hand across my eyes.
"I've seen the pictures of me in the terminal. Do I look happy in any of them, because I thought they were an accurate representation of how completely devastated I was."
"I know," Lisa sighed. "I'm trying to get past the fact that it's Mino in these pictures, but I can see how torn up you are."
For a moment, we were both silent. I was remembering the almost catatonic state I was in when those pictures were taken. Lisa was apparently logged on to her computer. Even still, one question remained unanswered.
"Just tell me, whose black panties were in your bedroom?" I asked, careful not to accuse her.
"Honey, I swear I don't know. I have no idea how they got there, but I can tell you that I'm going to find out. I swear to God there is no one else."
"You swear?" I asked for her vow.
"On my life," she confirmed.
"Jennie, you know that I love you, but if you can't trust me, you have to let me know now."
"I want to trust you, I do. I love you so much!" I broke down again. "Please, please… just for one moment… put yourself in my shoes."
She breathed heavily. "Why do relationships have to be so damn complicated?"
I thought about every wonderful moment we spent together and the times when things became difficult.
"Our relationship only got complicated when we allowed other influences to affect it. Things were perfect when we stayed hidden away in our apartment."
Lisa laughed lightly. I hoped she was picturing holding me just as much as I was picturing being in her arms.
"So where do we go from here?" she asked.
I remembered saying the same line to her once earlier in our relationship when we were at a crossroads. There was only one reply that fit.
"We give it a chance," I whispered her line back to her.