Twenty minutes later Max hesitated outside Zoe's office, though the door was ajar, and then gave a gentle knock.
"Come in." Zoe said absently, staring at the phone that rested on her desk.
"Just me. Where's-"
"Robyn's taken her to shower so we can see what we are working with. It looks like she's been bare foot for a few days in the cold."
Max nodded, feeling oddly uncomfortable with the tone of her voice, one he hadn't heard before. Impersonal. "Can I do anything?"
"You've got her clothes and food. I don't think she needs anything else right now."
"I meant for you."
Zoe's eyes finally blinked and then she looked up at the man before her briefly before her eyes returned to the phone. "I called social services. They'll be here in a couple of hours."
"Zoe…"
"Here we are! All fresh and clean." Robyn wheeled Sharice back in with a smile.
"Nice outfit." Max complemented her, earning a small smile. He had bypassed lost property and instead gone to the gift shop to get her a pair of purple track suit pants and a T-shirt.
"Who is Jerry?" She asked, gesturing to the name on the front of the shirt.
"No idea, but that's all they had." Max offered. "Well, that or bluey, and you're definitely more of the jerry girl than a bluey."
Sharice smiled again. "Because I'm not like, 2."
"Alright, settle down youngster. Maybe Jerry is like bluey to a 40 year old. And I'd much rather be 2 than 40."
Zoe gave a sigh as she pushed herself up.
"Not…not that there's anything wrong with being 40." Max offered, rubbing a hand down his chest.
Sharice let out a giggle at this, and it made Zoe finally focus on the conversation, giving an unsure smile. "What?"
"Nothing."
"Max!" Connie suddenly called. "Cubicle 3 to X-ray. Now."
"I'd better…" Max gestured over his shoulder.
Zoe gave a distracted nod and was quick to shut the door as soon as he followed his sister through it.
"Thanks, Max. I'll keep you updated. I love you." Max muttered to himself.
"What?" Connie asked.
"Cubicle 3, you say? On it like an Easter bonnet." Max offered.
"God, you're weird." Robyn sighed.
Connie looked at Zoe's door for a few beats and then knocked. "My office, please." She said as soon as the door opened again.
"But I've got a 10 year old patient in here who-"
"If she's well enough to be in your office instead of a cubicle, she is well enough to be left alone for five minutes. My office. Now."
Robyn watched the exchange, and seeing Zoe's reluctance offered "I'll keep an eye on her."
Zoe had to nod, telling Sharice she would be back soon before she followed Connie into her office.
"Shut the door." Connie instructed. "What on earth is going on? Why are you treating a patient in your office, and where are her parents?"
Zoe sighed, lifting her eyes to the ceiling. "She doesn't have any. It's…complicated, Connie."
"Then explain it to me."
"Connie.."
Connie raised her eyebrows.
"…her name is Sharice. I fostered her for a while a few years ago after her parents died. Under my care."
"For a while?"
"Grandparents showed up out of the blue. I wasn't coping, so she went to live with them in scotland. We email each other every so often."
"Why is she here now?" Connie asked gently.
Zoe swallowed and lifted her eyes again, trying to stop the tears that threatened. "Her grandfather had a stroke and passed away. And her grandmother followed a couple of weeks later. She's living in a children's home in Scotland. well, she was. She ran away a week ago to come back here. To me."
"…I see."
"I was so unhappy and unstable when I last knew her, Connie, and I feel like it's all come flooding back. The uncertainty, the worry. And I promised her a home back then, whenever she needed one. But now it's not just me."
"Have you spoken to Max about it?"
"I can't."
"Why not?"
"Because he will give an answer straight away like it's simple, but it's not. I couldn't cope with her. How am I supposed to explain that I sent her off and then adopted a younger, less complicated child?"
"That's not what happened."
"Isn't it? I need to go back. Social services will be here soon."
"Speak to Max, Zoe. You're right, it's not just you any more. You're panicking about a decision when there may not be a decision to make, and you're worrying about how to cope with a reaction that may never come."
Max wandered past his wife's office as often as he could, but the blinds were always drawn and the door always closed, and for the first time in years he felt as though Zoe had shut him out. They'd worked so hard on improving their relationship after the wedding, and now suddenly he felt like he didn't know her at all, and had no idea what she needed him to do.
An hour after he had last been in there, curiosity finally got the best of him and he knocked gently on the door.
Inside, Sharice's eyes widened as she abruptly stopped talking, knowing social services could be here any minute.
Zoe squeezed her hand and stood up, pulling open the door just a little.
She looked relieved to see him and for a moment the bloom of worry in Max's chest began to dissipate, but then she spoke. "Can you get Dylan for me, please. I messaged him but he hasn't looked at his phone." With that, Zoe shut the door with Max on the outside and her on the inside.
"Sure." Max sighed, turning away.
"Why the long face?" Lofty asked his friend a short while later, sitting down beside him at the bench In the lunchroom. "I thought you'd be grinning from ear to ear, the amount of time Zoe has had her blinds shut today."
Max gave a faint smile. "Not me in there, mate."
"She's..she's having an affair?!"
"What? No! She's got a... there's…remember I told you ages ago, when Zoe and I first looked into adoption, that she had tried it before? Well, it's that girl in there with her. She showed up out of the blue asking for Zoe."
"Blimey. Why?"
Max could only shrug. "No idea. I haven't been told a thing."
As Lofty went to speak again, a tired looking Zoe entered the lunch room running a hand through her hair. When she looked up and saw both men looking at her in silence, she gave an irritated sigh. "Don't stop gossiping on my account."
"We weren't gossiping." Max muttered as lofty looked between them, unused to seeing them anything less than happy.
"Then why did you stop talking when I walked in?" Zoe asked, putting her hands on her hips.
"Because he was just asking me if you were having an affair, if you want the truth, Zoe. " Max snapped his reply, picking up his coffee. "I'm going to drink this outside."
"It's freezing out there!" Lofty protested.
"It's warmer than the reception I seem to be getting in here today." Max replied on his way out.
Lofty watched him go, then looked back at Zoe to find her eyes shut, a hand running through her hair again. "…I didn't think you were. I just asked him about the blinds being shut. I thought it was the pair of you in there."
Zoe held up a hand to stop him talking and stalked to the kettle to make herself a coffee. She pressed the 'on' button and nothing happened. She flicked the wall switch off and on, but still nothing. She picked it up and then slammed it hard back on the base before putting her hands on the bench, lowering her head to try and calm herself and stop the tears. "Shit!"
"Can I-" lofty began, but then thought better of it. "I'll get Max." He jumped up and scurried off.
Never one not to go to Zoe when she was upset, no matter how they were going as a couple, max was quick to return to the room at Lofty's words. He looked at Zoe and then shut the door.
Zoe turned her head at the noise. "The kettle's not working."
"I can go and steal one from one of the other break rooms. Or I can just go and buy you a coffee.."
"It's not that simple."
"Yes, it is."
"No, it's not! Not everything is simple, Max!"
"What isn't simple? Tell me. Explain to me."
Zoe lifted her eyes to the ceiling as heavy tears lay unshed In her eyes. "Social services are here, and she's in there telling them I promised her a place to live. They're going to want to talk to me, and they'll want to do it in front of her."
"...i don't understand." max said gently as he stepped a little closer.
"I've changed. I'm not who i was when i knew her then. And I don't want to be that person again."
Max studied her for a moment and then said softly, "You've been that person again since she got here."
Zoes breath caught in her throat as she breathed in, and the sob seemed to reverberate around the room as Max stepped forward and enveloped her into a tight hug. Zoe stood still for a moment before she began to curl into him.
"You were worried about it happening as soon as you saw her, so you jumped before you were pushed." He realised aloud.
"I was so unhappy, and she reminds me of how I woke up every day dreading what would come, and I can't do that again. I'm not strong enough."
"That won't happen. I can promise you that won't happen."
"You can't promise that."
"I can. I know Sharice has reminded you of life back then, but that's all it is. It's a reminder. Then, you had your work, you had no hobbies, nothing else going on. You tried to fit her into your life without changing anything. Now, you have me, you have friends, you have hobbies. Work is somewhere you go because you're passionate about helping people, but you clock off at the end of your shift and you leave it here. You're not the same person you were, and you won't go back to being her. I can promise you that. I know you. Better than you know yourself."
Zoe sniffled, gripping his shirt with her hands. "Why didn't you mention Sadie?"
Max was silent for a moment as he rubbed her back gently, before admitting, "I was scared to mention her. I don't want you panicking that you adopted her even though you couldn't deal with adopting Sharice."
Zoe gave a soft laugh at this and lifted a hand to wipe her face, her other hand rested over his heart.
"You've already had that panic, haven't you?"
Zoe nodded.
"Nice. Where are we with that panic? Because you're supposed to be picking Sadie up in an hour."
Zoe pulled back a little, reaching down to pull his top up so she could clean her face with it, making Max smile again. "Again; Nice."
"I think I'm over that specific panic. Dylan mentioned Sadie in front of Sharice, so I told her about Sadie and she would like to meet her."
Max drew in another breath at this, his smile beginning to fade. "Zoe-"
"I know. I told her Sadie is not keen on new people, so maybe not for a while."
Max nodded, relieved. 'So…what now?"
"I'm sorry I took my panic out on you."
"It's ok. I know I'm a safe person for you to do that on."
Zoe smiled at this and leaned up to kiss him gently before burying her face against his neck. "But I'm still sorry. I'll try harder."
"Zoe Hanna?" A man asked, glancing around the door. "Can we please have you back in the office for a chat?"
Zoe drew in another breath and then nodded, walking out the door to follow him.
As Max now drew in a breath and released a sigh, Zoe reappeared briefly to hold out her hand to him.
"Come with me?"
"Always." He smiled.