J
"My arm feels strange," I muttered, rubbing my hand over the skin on my left arm for the first time in six weeks. "It looks smaller too." I pulled my shirt and coat sleeve back down to stifle the chill I got from the cold weather.
Hyunji took her eyes off the road for a second and smiled at me.
After the nightmarish last few days, I was finally able to start seeing things clearly.
"So tell me – how did you know where Lisa was planning on taking me for my birthday?" I asked, wondering how she was going to avoid answering. Hyunji had been very careful with her answers last night, skirting around subjects and giving me cryptic replies.
She was quiet for a moment. I could tell she was thinking about what to say before she said it.
"Lisa told me so we'd cover the bar while you were gone," she replied easily.
"Oh." I nodded.
Her reply seemed almost rehearsed. I sensed there was more to it than what she was willing to share, so, while we were on the subject, I tossed out my next question.
"And how did you and Tammy know about the evening gowns?" I stared at her while she drove.
She sighed heavily. "Lisa asked me to verify your shoe size because she wasn't sure if you wore a seven or a seven and a half. Considering how banged up you were, she wanted you to feel glamorous on your birthday."
Hyunji nudged me in the leg. "Do you have any idea how freaking lucky you are?"
I thought about her statement. Several reasons for me to feel lucky came to mind. First and foremost was the fact that the SUV didn't kill me.
She glanced over when I didn't answer.
"Do you know what Gary got me for my birthday?"
"I know he took you to dinner," I remembered. "Didn't he buy you a bracelet?"
"That was for our wedding anniversary. No, for my birthday we went to McD's and then he took me to CostMart so we could get a new air filter for my car. I got a cheeseburger and an air filter, Jennie!"
"Did he at least change your oil too?" I teased.
"No! And it took him almost two weeks to put the damn filter in my car!"
I couldn't help but laugh at her.
"I tell ya, that Lisa Manoban is one hell of a romantic guy," Hyunji blurted, but then, very suddenly, she appeared to have said too much.
"What do you mean – romantic?" I asked, hoping she'd explain her interpretation of the word.
"Nah," she muttered. "Just the dresses and stuff."
I felt terrible – Lisa never got to see her planning come to fruition. I stared at Hyunji; there was more to her thoughts, but she apparently had reasons not to share them.
"I really blew it, huh?" I muttered the obvious.
Hyunji shrugged and shook her head. "If you would have only stayed in her suite for fifteen more minutes."
"Oh, now what?" I groaned, wondering what else I screwed up.
"You don't want to know," she dismissed.
She glanced over at me quickly, observing my "just tell me already before I kill you" facial expression.
"Masseuse, makeup artist, hair stylist… Lisa hired a team to pamper you," Hyunji uttered.
"Oh… fuck…" The word slipped through my lips.
"Yep!" Hyunji concurred. "Jennie, if you want a marriage to survive, you have to be willing to fight for it," she counseled.
"I think I've learned my lesson," I admitted. "Hyunji, you know I've been really worried. After the accident and with losing the baby, I knew she was blaming herself. Part of me still wonders how long we'll last before she moves on to a relationship that doesn't cause her pain."
Hyunji rolled her eyes and groaned.
"I wish I could be so sure about things as you all appear to be," I defended my current level of insecurity.
"If you only knew," she muttered under her breath.
"Okay! What the hell is that supposed to mean? I heard you mumble over there, so tell me already. What is it that I obviously don't know?"
"Come on, lady! Gas is on the right!" Hyunji complained about the slow car in front of us.
"Hyunji!" I shouted.
"What?" she shouted back at me.
"Thirteen years we've been best friends. Thirteen!"
Hyunji's phone chimed, saving her from having to answer my question.
"Hey, what's up?" she said happily.
"I'm telling you, Lisa, I'm willing to bet she told Mino about your dinner plans. I'm sure that would have set him off. I'm waiting out in the car for Jennie; she ran into the store for bread." Hyunji covered her lips with her finger so I'd stay quiet.
"She just had her cast cut off at the doctor's and now I'm going to take her for a new cell phone."
Hyunji held the phone away from her ear again. Lisa was apparently upset about something.
"Sorry! I didn't know this required a security escort! Okay, okay…" she said sarcastically. "I'll make sure she calls that big refrigerator-sized Jamaal guy from now on. But it's too late now - we're already out. You know she won't go for that. Fine. Fine! I'll see what I can do. Okay! Jeez!"
Hyunji dropped her cell phone back in her purse. "She can be a real pain in the ass sometimes," she mumbled.
Things were not making sense to me. Why would Mino get pissed if Lisa took me out to dinner? Even if Lisa took me to an expensive restaurant, which of course she would have, why would that set Mino off?
"Hyunji - what the hell is going on?" I said in a tone demanding an explanation.
She took a deep breath. She was silent for a long time before she answered. "Mino was poking his nose around down in Florida."
"I know that," I admitted.
"Well, the part you probably don't know is that Mino told a few people that you asked him to go down there. Word got back to Lisa that you sent Mino to see if Lisa was cheating on you."
"You've got to be kidding me!" I groaned and rubbed my face. "You know I didn't do that, right? I swear I had nothing to do with him being there."
"I know. Lisa and I had a long talk about it too," she admitted. "Mike checked with his boss at Protection Services. Mino was reassigned immediately, but instead of going on the new assignment he took two weeks of personal vacation time. That's when he stayed in Florida. Mino knew you were coming."
"I can't believe Mino would do all of this! What did he think? That I wouldn't find out?" I shouted. "How convenient that he was in the airport at the right time. He was probably following me."
"Lisa said she saw Mino going in and out of Rosé's trailer a lot. I wonder if she was doing him?" Hyunji mused.
"No wonder Lisa was so mad the other day when I talked to her… Mino was going after all of his women." Anxiety started to take me down again. "Hyunji, you know what… just take me home, please."
"No, I'm taking you for a new phone. You and Lisa need to keep in touch and work this out," she stated emphatically.
"Why? I haven't spoken to her since last night. You've talked to her more than I have. You keep saying stuff to me about marriage, heck, I'll be lucky if this relationship lasts another week."
"That's it! I've had enough of your negativity. God! Arg!" she groaned at me. "And you wonder why I slapped you last night. I want to slap you again right now! Jennie, just TRUST me!" she shouted as she turned the car ignition off.
--
"When we go in there I think you should get a log of all the calls made to your number. We're going to find out just who the hell called you that day in Florida," Hyunji said as we walked towards the store. "Oh, and Lisa asked me to try and convince you to use her credit card to pay for the new cell. She wants to replace it for you."
I huffed as I opened the door. "I don't think so."
"Don't fight it. You need to get used to spending your wife's millions," Hyunji kidded me.
I scoffed at her comment. My mind was elsewhere.
"I wonder if Rosé's boyfriend knows that Mino was inside her trailer?" I was thinking about Rosé's fidelity or lack thereof and if her boyfriend was pissed.
"What boyfriend?" Hyunji asked. She stopped walking.
"Isn't she involved with that actor, Lucas Banks? That's the guy she dumped Lisa for, right?" I figured Hyunji would be up on the latest celebrity gossip.
Hyunji drew in a big breath. "Jen, she hasn't been with Lucas for months. Rosé told Lisa that she and Lucas were still together and madly in love, but I just sent a link to Lisa's phone this morning of pictures of Luc and some model kissing in public to show her that Rosé has been lying."
"Why are you sending pictures?" I felt lightheaded again. "Why does Lisa care about any of that?" My thoughts immediately returned to visions of Lisa and Rosé together.
"Lisa and I both think that Mino didn't act alone in this. I think Rosé wanted you out of the way so she could get back with Lisa," she said quietly.
The old, familiar burning feeling entered back into my chest.
The minute we returned to my apartment, Hyunji went right to work, analyzing my cell phone history and making phone calls.
"This is going to be harder than I thought," she groaned. "Customer Service is telling me that this number is a payphone in Miami."
She drew another circle around the numbers on my cell phone call log and then dropped the pen onto my kitchen table.
"I guess I should call Gary. Are you feeling up to playing poker tonight? It's okay if you're not…" she trailed.
"Yeah, I'm feeling up to it," I answered with a firm nod. "I need to get back into my familiar routine."
"Good! Okay then," Hyunji said as she stood up from the table. She looked at her watch and grabbed her coat. "Do you smell that? Whatever Tammy is baking down there smells fantastic!"
"I know! Let's go beg for samples!" I snickered.
I decided to stay in the kitchen with Tammy after Hyunji left.
Tammy pointed to a tray on the large cooling rack. "You can have one of those too, if you'd like. I made extra."
I was eyeing the chocolate-dipped strawberries when my doorbell rang several times in a row. Hyunji had just left a few minutes ago; I wondered why she didn't let herself back in through the kitchen door.
"What did you forget?" I chuckled, opening up my new back door to my apartment.
My smile instantly faded to shock and panic when my eyes caught sight of Mino. I leaned hard into the door, trying to close it as quickly as I had opened it, but Mino shoved his heavy black boot in the doorway.
"Jennie, please! Just hear me out!" Mino pleaded. His fingers were wrapped around the edge, pushing the door open. I leaned all my weight into the door, but it was useless to fight him. He was so much stronger then I was. My planted feet slid unrestricted on the smooth flooring.
"No!" I yelled. "Just go away and leave me alone!"
Mino gave the door a good shove and it clocked me right in the forehead. I staggered back a step while still trying to maintain my hold on the door to block his entry.
"Jennie, come on. I just want to talk to you… give me a chance to explain."
Most of his body was already through the doorway. He shoved the door again, more forcefully this time, tossing me like a ragdoll into the wall behind me. I quickly righted myself and lunged for the opposing door to the kitchen as my next means of escape.
I managed to grab the doorknob but Mino was quicker. His hand wrapped around mine tightly, preventing me from twisting the knob. He used his body to cram me into the doorframe, trapping me in place. I kicked the bottom of the door with my foot.
"Please don't hurt me," I begged, pleading for my life. The grip he had on my hand was already sending messages of pain.
"I'm not going to hurt you," he whispered in my ear, chuckling slightly from my fear. "Just don't do anything stupid, okay… Jennie?"
I felt the doorknob jiggle slightly. I hoped Tammy would run for help instead of trying to rescue me. I didn't want Mino to have two hostages.
I was absolutely petrified, fearing he was going to harm me, or worse - kill me. His aggressive stance and the way he breathed hard on my neck terrified me. I nodded quickly. It was the only response I could give.
"You don't mind if I check you for weapons, do you?" he said, slightly amused, taking the liberty to pat the front and back pockets of my jeans. "I'd hate like hell to get maced today."
My pockets were unfortunately empty. Mino appeared to be pleased with that revelation, almost enjoying the fact that he caught me unarmed and completely helpless. I felt like the doomed rabbit, caught by my unlucky foot in the big bear trap.
My mind started to roll in fast forward, trying to remember the self-defense moves he once told me about. His knee was pressed into my leg, holding me off balance. Could I stamp on his foot and then elbow him in the nose? Just give me some space and I'm going to kick you right in the balls, you son-of-a-bitch!
"You don't need to be afraid of me!" He laughed, lessening the pressure of his fingers on mine, but still not letting me go. "Sweetheart, I'd never hurt you. I'm just worried that you might try to hurt me."
"Let go of me and we'll find out," I replied, a hard edge accompanied my tone.
"Feisty!" Mino snickered in my ear. "How about you let go of the door so we can talk?"
"What do you want to talk about?" I breathed into the wood molding, still unable to move. My eyes glanced, noticing the glowing green buttons on the security system keypad. I was pretty sure I could hit the police call button before he would be able to stop me. My fingers were only a few inches away from it.
"I came here to tell you that we caught Angelica. She was picked up in Florida and is being extradited back to Rhode Island on a bench warrant. Baby, she's in police custody now, so you don't have to worry anymore."
A tinge of revulsion ebbed up my spine when he called me "baby." Mino eased up slightly on pressing me into the door. He effortlessly peeled my straining, clenched hand off of the doorknob.
"You can relax now," he said reassuringly, obviously pleased with himself. "I told you I would get her and I did! You're safe now."
"Am I?" I whispered; tears of fright were dripping down my face. I felt so fragile in his grip; it would only take one quick twist and he could easily re-break my left wrist that he now held in his powerful hand.
"Sweetheart, I would never hurt you. You have to believe me," he said softly, resting his forehead on my shoulder.
"Jennie, I had nothing to do with what happened to you in Florida," he said smoothly, convincingly. "I was there because Angelica followed you to Miami. Why do you think I was in the airport? My spotters lost track of her for a few hours, so I made sure you were protected at all times."
My breath hitched. Mino was such a manipulator.
"She's really in jail?" I whispered, asking for confirmation that my first stalker was locked up from my second stalker that now held me captive.
"Yes," he said softly in my ear. "She can't hurt you anymore."
"What about you?" I asked, my breath stuttering from fear.
Mino scoffed in my ear. "I'm not the one who broke your heart. Lisa did that all on her own," he groaned and took a few steps back, finally releasing me.
I turned slightly to look at him. I was wondering if he'd be able to look me in the eyes while he spewed his lies. I found myself shifting from fear to anger.
"So which one of you came up with the panties idea? Was it you or Rosé who thought that one up?" I asked angrily as I rubbed my throbbing wrist. "It was a nice touch, actually. I didn't check the wastebaskets, but I'm pretty sure I would have found a used condom lying out in the open too… am I right?"
"There you go, jumping to conclusions again," he said emphatically.
"How much did you pay the bellboy to deliver it? I hope you paid him well to be part of your devious plan, or am I to believe that Rosé masterminded the whole thing?"
Mino stared at me incredulously, like I was crazy.
"So you're telling me that girlfriend or yours was caught red-handed with some other chick's underwear laying about and yet she still managed to convince you that she didn't fuck around on you?" he asked, laughing slightly while questioning my sanity. "Boy, are you gullible!"
I looked down at the garnet ring that Lisa had placed on my finger, remembering the words she had engraved inside it – "My heart is yours." I became furious for allowing myself to fall victim to Mino's underhanded plan.
"Lisa loves me," I said in defense while random memories and different voices flashed through my thoughts. Jennie, you're the one she wants to…; there are other things I can't say – yes, I believe her; better that all this happened now instead of having Lisa leave you after you're…; if you only knew…; get used to spending your wife's…
"Lisa was going to propose to me," I whispered out, finally realizing what everyone had been keeping secret. "You found out she was going to propose, didn't you?" My eyes locked on Mino's, watching his reaction. Mino's lips pursed together. I obviously hit a nerve.
"Lisa told Rosé, thinking it was safe to tell her about her plans since she was already in a committed relationship… and Rosé told you! That's why Lisa wants proof that Rosé lied about still being with Lucas!"
It was all making sense now.
Mino frowned. I could see the expression change on his face as he switched tactics.
"I don't give a shit about them! I only care about you. There is something here, Jennie!" He gestured between us. "It's powerful, and I know that you feel it too. Just give me a chance to take care of you… to love you like you deserve to be loved and have a normal life without all the public scrutiny, maybe even raise a family. You're kind and caring, smart and strong…"
"Oh, cut the bullshit, Mino. You knew! Didn't you? Just fucking admit it!" I yelled at him.
"Admit that I knew what? That Manoban is all wrong for you? How being involved with someone in a different league unnecessarily risks your life every fucking day? Do you know how much it pains me to see the woman I love wasting her efforts on some sleazy, two-bit actor?"
My mouth dropped open from his admission.
"There, I said it. Now you know," he uttered in defeat. "I'm in love with you, Jennie."
Mino took one step forward, but I held my hands up to stop him before he got any closer.
I was shocked. How could Mino possibly be so in love me? We never spent any quality time together, getting to know one another on any deeper levels. Our relationship was so superficial, we were barely even friends.
There was an attraction, but it was purely physical – at least it was for me anyway – and we never acted on it. "They scream that they love me… how could they even say that?" I heard Lisa's voice say. Mino was just as pathetic as some of Lisa's fans.
"You don't love me, Mino," I said softly.
"Don't tell me how I feel!" he shouted angrily.
"You don't really want the shiny toy – you just don't want the others to have the shiny toy," I concluded. "You're jealous and angry that someone like Lisa would fish in the same pond as you."
"You don't belong in that world, Jennie! If you truly believed you did, you would have never left Florida! But you walked away, devastated, because deep down inside you know how easily you can be replaced!" he said irately, pointing his index finger at me.
"I've had unemployed losers easily replace me with strippers, Mino! Lisa's career choice has nothing to do with this! Besides, whether Lisa is still in the picture or not, it wouldn't matter."
Mino's eyes narrowed, confused by my direction.
"I've submitted the driving directions you wrote for me and the letter I found in Lisa's hotel room to a handwriting expert," I informed. "That along with the threat letters I got in the mail were all express-mailed this morning." I was getting better at this "acting" thing. I almost believed myself!
"You still think I wrote them? Doesn't matter; they won't match up," Mino snidely remarked. His reply was too confident. It was as though he was prepared to have to answer this accusation eventually. "You can dust them for prints too. You won't find mine."
"Why? Is it because you charmed some unwitting girls to do your dirty work?" I probed.
"I had nothing to do with that love note or any letters for that matter!" he barked.
I had never told Mino about the letter I found in Lisa's hotel room until now. How did he know it was a love note?
I smiled. "You couldn't find any dirt on her, could you? That week you were there poking your nose around – you came up empty-handed! Lisa has been completely faithful to me, and when you couldn't find any evidence, you fabricated your own."
Mino scoffed. "Maybe if you'd bother to open your eyes for two seconds and look at reality, you'd see that actors never stay in relationships for very long. They trade up every chance they get. The way I see it, things couldn't have happened at a better time. You needed a wake-up call to see how things really are."
"You're incorrigible!" I bellowed.
"You think that someone like Manoban is going to stay with you for the next forty years? I highly doubt it. There were so many hot women walking around down there on her movie set… she may be strong enough to resist now early on in this thing, but give it time and she'll cave. You should be happy that you didn't waste a lot of time on her - save yourself from further humiliation when she dumps you for one of her own kind."
I stared blankly at him for a few minutes while I concocted my next plan.
"You're right, Mino. You're absolutely right," I sniffed, pretending to finally give up hope and faking sudden extreme sadness. I leaned up on the wall. "I've been deluding myself to think that I could have a future with Lisa. How could I be so naïve? Rosé is gorgeous. I can't compete with her."
I wiped my eyes, hoping my acting was Oscar-worthy. "I'm going to end it," I murmured, nodding to confirm my decision. "Then I won't be in Rosé's way anymore and I won't get my heart broken again."
I took an embellished, stuttering breath. "I'm not even close to being in the same league. Rosé is so much more sophisticated and cultured than I am. She's a famous celebrity and I'm… nothing," I said sadly, playing up my self-deprecation. "A nobody from Seaport."
I inconspicuously placed myself next to the security keypad as I continued my dramatic performance.
"I can't blame any man for not being able to resist her. You're right… Lisa will be better off with her. I realize that now. Rosé knows what it takes to have a high-profile relationship. She's probably a much better lover than I am too," I said, acting completely dejected.
Mino scoffed. "I've had better," he muttered.
As soon as the words slipped from his mouth, he realized he had made a fatal mistake. "Babe, you are so much more desirable than she is! Don't ever put yourself down like that," he encouraged, approaching me slowly.
"Stop," I breathed out, ordering him to stay where he was. "I know I'm better than she is, after all, you just confirmed that she's nothing more than a manipulative whore. I'm surprised you two aren't madly in love with each other, considering that you are so much alike!"
"Jennie!" he bellowed, taking another step.
"Don't come any closer! All I have to do is tap it and the police will come immediately," I informed confidently, my index finger hovered over the illuminated button on the security keypad.
"Forced entry, the bruise on my forehead from when you hit me with the door, a few tears and you'll be handcuffed in no time. Can you still be a bodyguard with a police record?"
"Jennie, please, don't! It was an accident! I'll lose my job!" he pleaded.
"That didn't seem to concern you while you were fucking Rosé in her trailer or conveniently waiting to rescue me in Miami!"
"Just hold on, all right?" Mino requested urgently.
"I'm done holding on! Start talking or so help me I'm going to press it!" I threatened.
"She came on to me – not the other way around," he informed, holding out a cautioning hand to keep me from being hasty and pressing the button.
"You're such a liar!" I said mockingly.
"I'm telling you the truth! We had a few drinks. She threw herself at me!"
I laughed. "And of course you took her up on her offer! Your final gesture to Lisa to make sure that if she did take her back, she got her back… used."
I heard my front door open; it was easy to distinguish subtle sounds in my home.
"And the letter?" I bellowed.
"The letter was her idea, not mine. She planned it. Just don't…"
"I'm sure you can run before the cops get here, but where would you run to? I'll petition the court to grant a PFA order on you. It probably won't take more than an hour or so, after all, this was assault," I mused, rubbing the tender spot on my forehead. "I wonder what a protection order would do to your career."
"Okay, okay! Just don't," Mino begged. "I can't have a record. I'll lose everything. Baby, please…"
"I'm not your baby!" I firmly stated. "Mino, how could you ever think we'd be able to have a healthy relationship with you hurting me like this?"
"I love you, Jennie! Everything I did, I did out of love! I just couldn't stand idly by and watch her destroy you! It was killing me!"
"This isn't love, this is sickness. You destroyed me, Mino. Not Lisa. You! You ripped my heart out!" I screamed at him.
"I never meant to hurt you!" he said with conviction.
"Jennie, are you all right?" Fred yelled from the other side of the door.
"Yes," I quickly replied, watching surprise and shock coat Mino's face.
"The police are on their way. Is he armed?" Fred asked. I could hear the sirens.
Mino's eyes widened with fear. "No," he uttered.
"He says he's not armed," I yelled back to my friends.
Fred plowed the door open; he had my baseball bat in his hand, ready to swing. Hyunji was right behind him.
"You just keep away from her!" Fred threatened, waving the bat at Mino.
"I'm not going to hurt her." Mino's derisive inflection was noticeable.
Hyunji tried to pull me out of the hallway and into the kitchen – to safety, I presumed.
"Jennie!" Mino called out. "Please? I'm sorry! I can't go to jail!"
"Well you should have thought about that a long time ago!" Fred yelled angrily.
I touched Fred's shoulder to calm him.
"Mino, I'm sorry too, but I just don't trust you. If I let you go free, then what's to keep you from coming back and starting this crap all over again? You know I don't feel the same way about you, but yet here you are... again!"
"I'll stay away. I promise! I'll leave you alone and never bother you again. I swear!" Mino's pleading was urgent. He knew his time was running out. The police sirens were in the alley.
I had to make a decision, quickly.
--
"So what happened then?" Lisa asked.
"The police took our statements. They carted Mino out to the patrol car real fast. Lisa, I told the police that I didn't want to press charges."
"You mean to tell me after all the bullshit that bastard put us through, you just let the son-of-a-bitch walk?" she yelled in my ear.
"Yes," I said somberly. I knew Lisa felt completely left down.
She huffed in my ear. "Be honest with me, please. Do you have feelings for him? Just tell me."
"No, Lisa. I don't. But I just couldn't send him to prison."
I could not condemn a man to that fate for simply wanting me.
"I didn't press charges because I was afraid," I continued slowly. "I was afraid that if I destroyed his life, he might come after us one day with a vengeance. He walked away a free man; he has no reason to ever retaliate. It's over," I sighed.
Lisa was silent. I could hear her breathing hard; she was stewing. I knew she wanted Mino to pay dearly for every wrong he ever did to us, but in my mind, two wrongs never made a right.
"Lisa?" I called out to her, hoping to calm her so we could talk this out.
"What?" she asked in her irritated, short tone.
"After all of this, I can't have you mad at me too," I told her, my words were more of a plea.
"I've…" she stammered. "I've got to go," she informed grimly.
"Lisa?" I breathed out.
"I need some time to think," she replied coldly.
Her gears that were once so easy for me to switch suddenly felt stiff, unmoving under my influence.
"Okay," I whispered as the burn of heartbreak slipped up my throat.
I slumped down into my chair at the big, round table. My friends all looked at me, confused as to why I was suddenly falling apart again after speaking to Lisa.
Hyunji's perplexed glare turned to anger. She pulled her phone out of her pocket and I knew just by her expression that she was planning on calling Lisa and reading her the riot act.
"Don't," I protested, wiping my eyes on a Kim's napkin.
My heart cracked wider when two whole days passed and I still had not talked to Lisa. I didn't call her either; part of me was deathly afraid to have my worst fear validated. Denial was a safer option, safer than the truth. Other than the two and a half days I spent in the pit of darkness after returning from Florida, this was the longest we had ever gone without speaking.
Lisa did manage to send me a text message, but it was short. I knew she was still in Miami filming the last scenes of Thousand Miles and that they were attempting to wrap filming this week. She was working fifteen-hour days. I could only imagine how uncomfortable things must be for her to film with Rosé… to pretend, to act in front of the cameras that she was in love with this woman who so insidiously tried to destroy our relationship.
The devastation from my disastrous trip to Florida lingered in my heart and every day it became more and more unbearable. I continued to beat myself up every spare moment I had for being foolish and gullible and for doubting Lisa's faithfulness. Had I scarred her so deeply that forgiveness was no longer an option?
Part of me couldn't blame Lisa for being angry with me, after all, how could our relationship survive if I didn't show her I could trust her?
But there were moments when she questioned my faithfulness too, so why should I feel solely responsible for the current state of misery I was existing in?
And what about that leggy bitch down in Florida who still gets to enjoy Lisa's lips on hers? Did Rosé have an ounce of remorse in her fake-breasted soul?
Tears slipped from my eyes as I tapped a pitcher of beer for a waiting customer. I thought about all the problems Lisa was dealing with – the troubles with Mina, and David, and the studio people, and Rosé, and Mino, and losing an unborn baby… all these things that caused her pain had one common denominator – me.
"Jennie?" Hyunji reached for me, questioning my sadness.
I set the pitcher down on the bar and waved my hand to dismiss her attempt to console me.
I couldn't do this anymore to her… or me.
Tammy stopped me as I hurried through the kitchen, grabbing me by the arm before I got through my door. My key was still stuck in the doorknob. She wrapped me in a tender hug as the magnitude of my overwhelming grief reached its final peak and crashed down on me.
My knees buckled and I dropped to the floor, covering my face with my hands.
There was only one option left for me…
I had to let Lisa go.