J
I watched Hyunji out of the corner of my eye as she answered her cell phone again while making a mixed drink for a waiting customer. Gary had been calling her at work these last few days, which was very out of character for him. Gary was never much of a talker, so I was surprised at how often he called.
I gathered through the bits and pieces of conversation that they were making plans for a family get-together; it sounded like several people were flying in from out of town. Hyunji seemed stressed, often getting angry with him when they spoke. She would become testy and then run off to the kitchen to yell at him in private.
I didn't ask what the problems were nor did I pay any particular attention to her personal business. The part of my soul that died last Thursday on a plane back from Florida just didn't care much about anything lately.
Lisa finally called me Friday morning, but our conversation was awkward, like she called me just to be nice. I wasn't sure by the tone of her words if we were headed for the official breakup or if she called me just because she felt she had to. It didn't help my emotional stability that we only talked about how busy she was.
"No! It's just not a good time right now," she had stuttered strangely into the phone when I offered to get on a plane and fly to see her.
Lisa said she had just arrived in L.A. and was going through final fittings for her wardrobe for Slipknot. She had photo shoots and interviews, and the press tour for the premier of Reparation was also just a few days away. Rehearsals and filming in Vancouver would start immediately after that. She was also scheduled to start training since her character was supposed to be a rock climber.
I would have flown around the world ten times if I knew I'd end up in her arms at the end, but she didn't want me to.
"My schedule is just crazy right now. I don't know when I'll be able to see you even if you did fly out," she had said, continuing her reasons why she didn't want me to get on a plane. "Don't get me wrong, I want to see you, it's just… bad timing."
Bad timing… this from the one who used to sneak off set to call and text me countless times a day now all of a sudden didn't have time for me. How quickly things change.
I almost called her back to ask if she still wanted me… if she could still love me like she once did… but I couldn't do it. I was afraid if I pushed, her answer would be "no."
I remembered the solemn vow I made to her several months ago when we were on my rooftop - I would never break up with her - ever. I intended to keep that vow. If our relationship was over, she'd have to be the one to say the words out loud.
The bar was fairly crowded for a Saturday night. I went through the motions, mixing drinks and waiting on customers, but inside I was numb, lifeless.
I dried my wet hands on my bar towel, taking a moment to adjust the garnet ring I still wore on my right hand - like it was a magic link to the only person I had ever truly loved. I had been through so much in the six months since Lisa and I started dating, it was a miracle that I survived. But it didn't matter. Right now I would have walked through hot coals and blistering fire to be with her again.
"There's something to make any girl smile!" Hyunji said loudly.
I felt my dead heart thump in my chest. I quickly looked in her direction, aching for the one face that would bring the sunshine back into my world.
To my dismay, Mark the Fireman was leaning on the bar. He was squeezed in between two customers who were trying to have a conversation around him. My silly hopes were for naught. I could feel that the final ending, that expiration date I had feared so tremendously, was a mere moment away.
"Hi Jennie!" Mark greeted me. His broad smile wavered when he noticed I didn't return his enthusiasm.
"Hi Mark," I said glumly. I tried to make myself smile. I felt like such a hypocrite.
"Jennie, I need a new bottle of, um, Jack," Asahi asked, snapping his fingers impatiently at me. "Fast."
I could have sworn that I put a new bottle out earlier, but then again I hadn't been paying much attention to details nor did I care to question it.
I was unlocking the back bar lower cabinet to get a new bottle for him when Hyunji backed up and stood at my side.
"Jennie, there's someone here to see you," she said awkwardly.
My pulse quickened and I felt flush. I jumped up from my crouched position, whipping my head around to see.
"Hi Jennie!"
I instantly recognized the voice, but I was completely surprised to see the faces.
"Ellen? Bill? Oh my God! What are you guys doing here?" I leaned up over the bar. "Wait, let me come around."
I hugged and kissed them both.
"We were on our way to um…" Ellen looked at Bill, apparently forgetting her words.
"Martha's Vineyard," Bill reminded her.
"Yes, Martha's Vineyard! We thought we'd stop by to see you first," Ellen said.
Hyunji rushed out from behind the bar. "Jennie, why don't you take them into the kitchen to talk? It's really loud out here. Asahi and I can cover the bar for a while." Hyunji tugged my arm.
"Yes, yes, please let's." Bill placed a hand on my back and quickly guided me through the crowd towards the kitchen door. I could see him cringing from the volume of the music.
"I'm so glad you stopped here first! So you're going to Martha's Vineyard? Oh, you'll have such a nice time there!" I gushed, thrilled to see them. It was the first time I smiled in days. "How long are you staying there?"
"Where?" Bill asked. He looked confused.
"On Martha's Vineyard?" I continued.
Bill and Ellen were looking at each other, unsure of who was going to answer.
"Just a few days, Honey. Just a few days," Ellen stated quickly.
Bill looked at his watch. He was acting a bit strange, like he was in a hurry to go somewhere.
"How long are you staying in Seaport? You know you are welcome to stay here. I hope you didn't get a hotel room." I didn't know why I was rambling. Bill's demeanor was making me edgy. It appeared that they weren't here for a social visit.
"We don't want to intrude," Ellen quickly replied. "We have a hotel room for tonight and then we, um, have much to do tomorrow."
"Oh, okay. Well, did you have dinner? We can go out to eat if you're hungry or I can make something for you to eat upstairs," I offered.
Why do they look nervous? They keep looking at each other. This is getting weird. I noticed the band stopped playing, so it wasn't quite as loud anymore, but the volume of people talking out in the pub seemed to get louder.
"No, we ate before we came here," Bill somberly replied.
I felt my breath catch. My hand clenched my throat.
"What's wrong? I feel like you're going to tell me something bad." My eyes quickly toggled, assessing.
"She's met someone else, hasn't she?" I scanned their faces - waiting… trying to judge their reaction to my question. Ellen seemed startled.
"I knew it. She changed her mind. She doesn't think I can trust her anymore so she's moving on." Pain, agony, all too familiar, seeped back into my soul. It only took her one week to finally decide she had enough of me.
My eyes became moist and I felt the scorching burn roll up into my throat. Not only did I have to give up the only person I ever truly loved, I would also be losing two wonderful parents on top of it. I bit my teeth into my upper lip, trying to hold back a sob.
"Did she send you for her things?" I whispered, assuming her parents were here to pack her stuff up. Tears cracked and bled from my eyes from thinking about her moving out of the apartment. "She doesn't even want to talk to me anymore?"
"Oh, Honey, no!" Ellen quickly answered.
"Ellen, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for disappointing you." I couldn't stop the tears.
"Oh, for God's sake," Bill huffed. He turned on his heels and hastily bolted for the door.
"Great. Now I've offended her father too." I walked over to the large steel sink that Lisa paid for and ripped a few paper towels out of the holder to wipe my eyes. I had desperately hoped that Lisa and I would try to resolve things before finally calling it quits, but that didn't seem possible now.
"I think… I have a few boxes," I muttered, gasping for air between sobs, gripping the counter to hold myself up.
This is it – the moment of truth - it's officially over.
"Jennie, Lisa didn't send us. And I'm fairly certain that whatever she has to say to you she will tell you herself. You need to stop crying because everything is going to be okay!"
Bill popped his head around the cracked kitchen door. "Ellen, it's time. Let's go," he barked sharply.
I gasped deeply from the shock. I must have really offended him. Bill didn't even stick around to say goodbye, go to hell, don't ever call my daughter again… nothing.
Ellen smiled at me and then rifled through her purse. "Let me freshen you up a bit first." She opened up her compact and started powdering my face. "Do you want some lipstick?"
I shrugged, completely confused by her actions. Maybe she felt my customers didn't need to know I was crying again? Maybe it was her final gesture of being nice to me since I'd never see her again?
Before I knew it, she was rubbing lipstick over my lips. Great... she pities me. Her final final gesture is to get me pretty enough so I could go back out there and get hit on by some drunken asshole who is destined to be my loser husband since I'm obviously single again.
"There!" she said, rubbing her thumb over my lip. Her hand combed through my hair, fluffing one side around my ear. "That's better! Are you ready to go?"
"Go where?" I followed her out of the kitchen.
My watery eyes had to adjust to the darkened pub atmosphere. Ellen immediately joined Bill, who was sitting down at a table for two near the poolroom with a drink in his hand. Apparently they weren't going anywhere. What the hell is going on here?
I stood there staring at them, completely dumbfounded by the last five minutes of my life, trying to make sense of it all. I think I was just dumped by my girlfriend's parents who are here to move her out of the apartment, but yet they are sitting here having a drink? What the…?
An acoustic guitar strummed in the background as the band readied to play their next set. Bill glanced up to the stage. Maybe he wanted to stay and hear the band?
"I wrote this song for the woman I love," a very familiar voice announced over the sound system.
A shiver blasted down my spine and I gasped from the complete and utter shock of hearing her voice. How could that be? She can't possibly be behind me… She's across the country in California!
Quickly, I turned around, covering my mouth with my hands to keep from screaming out in surprise.
"I'm hoping she has the same reaction this time that she had the first time I played for her." she gently smiled.
There she was, sitting on a stool up on the stage, a very familiar Gibson guitar resting across her thigh. Her smile widened when I smiled back.
"This song is called, 'What Do You Say?'"
She started the soft melody. I stood there, shaking slightly, listening to her mesmerizing voice and her lyrics that touched my soul. My heart pounded in my chest.
If I could put back the pieces and make them right
I'd turn back the hands of time with all my might
You'd never think that things went wrong
If I took the pain away
And if I say that you complete me in every single way
If I shout it from the clouds above for everyone to hear
Could you ever believe me?
If I whisper to you sweetly
You say you need a reason
But I've never gone astray
Now if I can once again persuade you
To say yes to me today
There is just one more question left for me to ask
Before we throw it all away
What do you say?
Please say yes to me today
I gave you my heart, placed it in your hands
For our dreams of tomorrow, just like we planned
Together as one for the rest of our days
But If I'd only showed instead of told you
I would have taken this doubt away
If I scream it from the sky above
So everyone is sure to know
Could you ever believe me?
If I whisper to you sweetly
You cry out you need a reason
But we've never gone astray
Now if I can once again persuade you
To say yes to me today
There is just one more question left for me to ask
Before we let it slip away
What do you say?
Please say yes to me today
If you give me your hand, I'll wrap it in golden bands
For a long future together, I'd be a happy man
I'll hold you forever as our story unfolds
By my side
You've been my only lover, let the truth be told
If I scream it from the sky above
So everyone is sure to know
Could you ever believe me?
If I whisper to you sweetly
If I say I am your reason
And our love will light our way
Now if I can once again persuade you
To say yes to me today
There is just one more question left for me to ask
Before we throw it all away
What do you say?
Please say yes to me today
I stood there in compete awe, my feet frozen to the ground. Tears of joy, tears of pure love, dripped down my cheeks. I covered my mouth with my hands while the crowd exploded with applause.
Lisa set her guitar on the stand, let out a big lung-full of air, and stood up. Her eyes were fixed on mine.
Determination like I'd never seen before painted her face with purpose. Her legs took long strides, rapidly closing the distance between us. She was headed straight for the big, round table in the middle of the bar.
I wondered for a split second if she actually saw where she was walking? Surely she had to see the enormous table in her way? Her gaze was completely locked on my face.
Her foot stepped onto the empty chair in front of her, lifting her body off the floor. Her next step catapulted her on top of the big oak table, carefully stepping around people's drinks. She stopped when she reached the center.
All eyes were on her as she stood atop the table. It was so quiet in the crowded bar, you could have heard a pin drop. I could hear my heart hammering in my chest as I stared up at her.
"We've made a beautiful mess of things lately, haven't we?" she flashed that sexy crooked smile at me, which made my heart flutter.
I nodded, agreeing with her.
"But it's our crazy story," she stated. "It's been ours, only ours. There's been a lot of romance, sometimes way too much drama…" she raised her eyebrows and smirked. "Very memorable comedy, a few pulse-racing action scenes..."
She shrugged and sighed.
"We've also had our fair share of suspense and raw terror, and unfortunately gut-wrenching heartache too.
"I think we've covered it all, everything except for being captured by aliens!"
I couldn't help but chuckle.
"But through it all you've loved me, unconditionally, and I know how fortunate I am to have your love.
"I don't want to live without you, not for one more minute, not for one more second. I want to spend the rest of my days living my story with you… only you."
She walked to the edge and jumped off the table, landing in front of me.
"It is here that I fell in love with you," Lisa whispered, taking my hands in her.
She dropped down on one knee.
"And as fate would have it, it is here that I humbly kneel before you and ask you to be my wife.
"Jennie Ruby Jane Kim, will you marry me?" Her glistening eyes, so brown, so full of emotion, gazed up at me… waiting patiently for my reply.
Only one word rang through my heart.
"Yes!" I nodded emphatically. My salted tears dripped across my lips. I said yes over and over again.
Lisa's smile was glorious. It took my breath away. She reached into the front pocket of her jeans and pulled out a ring. There was no box, no pre-show.
She took my left hand into her and kissed my hand softly.
"Forever," she whispered, looking up at me, as she slid the ring onto my finger.