"How are you feeling?" Severus checked, his gaze focused on Malcolm.
"Better than I was, sir. Better now," Malcolm said, his gaze fixed on the table.
"Madam Pomfrey says that your health is continuing to improve and that within the next six months you should reach an equilibrium. You're going to your check-ups and getting your potions?" he asked, knowing that Malcolm had been, but wanting Malcolm to know he was invested and aware.
"I am," Malcolm said. "How long will I need to take potions?"
"Madam Pomfrey will be able to tell you that better than I, but once you're at a stable weight for your height and no longer have nutritional deficits, you should be able to stop taking the potions." It had been nearly two months since Malcolm had been rescued and while he looked less gaunt than he had, he was still underweight and recovering physically from his experiences. Getting dragon pox hadn't helped either Malcolm or Rachel in that regard and Poppy had warned him that Rachel's weight had dropped while she was ill. Rachel had assured him that she knew and that she was working on regaining it.
"How is the situation in your dorm?" Severus checked when Malcolm didn't answer.
"It's just me, Graham, and Maynard now, so it's pretty quiet. They kind of look at me, especially after reading that my father was sent to Azkaban."
Severus nodded. That article had only come out three days ago, with Bertrand Baddock being given a life sentence for Death Eater activities and using Unforgivable curses. "Do you want to talk about how you feel about the sentence?"
Malcolm shook his head. "I don't think it changes anything. If the Dark Lord wants my father out of Azkaban, he'll free him, just like he did the other Death Eaters."
That was true. Severus very much doubted that the Dark Lord would be content to leave Bertrand on the sidelines of the war forever.
"Rachel and Theo said that people will stop staring at me in a week or two as other news comes out," Malcolm added.
"If anyone would know, it would be Rachel. She's been speaking to you?" Severus asked.
"She and Theo check on me every so often. They said they both understand what this is like, which…I think they understand what some of it is like, but not all of it. And I kind of understand what it's like for them, but not all of it either," Malcolm said, looking at Severus for the first time in their conversation today.
Severus nodded once. "They've been through similar experiences, it's true, but you're right that none of you have had the exact same experience. You are also welcome to speak to me if you wish to, as I have had some similar experiences myself. I believe Mr. Black is helping to arrange a Mind Healer for you."
"He said he was. I don't think I need to see a Mind Healer. Only crazy people see Mind Healers. I'm not crazy, sir. I'm really not."
"I don't believe that you are crazy and neither does Mr. Black. You don't need to be crazy to see a Mind Healer, I have seen one myself." That was stretching the truth slightly, but he wasn't going to reveal that Rachel saw a Mind Healer. "Mind Healers are there to help you talk about difficult things and to gain an understanding of what happened and how you feel about it. They provide a safe space for you to confront events and feelings that you might not feel comfortable talking about to anyone else. They will keep what you say private from everyone."
Malcolm looked uncertain as his mouth went through various expressions. "I don't know."
"My suggestion would be to try and give it some time. You will likely want to get to know them before they tell you something personal about yourself. If you feel that they are pushing you, you don't have to stay with that Mind Healer." Ideally Malcolm could see Torey since Torey was already under their protection and had strong wards. Bill had updated Torey's wards with the new changes just a few weeks ago. "How are your classes? Do you have everything that you need?"
"My classes are fine. The professors said I don't have to do the homework that was assigned before I came, but they gave me instructions as to what I should study to catch up. Adelaide has been letting me borrow some of her notes."
"Good. If you feel that you would like tutoring, let me know and I will arrange it. There is one thing that I would like to ask of you, but you can say no if you are not comfortable," Severus said, reaching the true purpose of this conversation.
"Yes, sir?" Malcolm asked, looking worried.
"I would like to show you a painting of an object that I am attempting to locate. Would you be willing to tell me if you've seen it anywhere? I must also ask that you keep this request confidential."
Malcolm nodded. "I can do that. What is the object?"
"I will show you," Severus said, standing and retrieving the painting of Helga Hufflepuff with her cup from behind his desk. "I am searching for this golden cup. It has two small handles and has a badger engraved on the side."
"Helga Hufflepuff's cup. Doesn't it have magical properties? I heard that it makes healing potions," Malcolm asked.
"It does have some magical properties and in the hands of the ill can produce certain healing elixirs." If the cup wasn't a horcrux, Severus would have liked to examine it and see what potions came out as he knew that whatever the recipes were, they had been lost to time. After the curse on the ring he feared that whatever the cup produced now might be a poison.
"I haven't seen anything like it, though I think I'd remember it. Is the cup lost, like Ravenclaw's diadem?" Malcolm asked.
"We believe that it was passed down through Helga's descendants, though it has been lost somewhere along the way. We'd like to return it to Hogwarts," Severus said, which was more or less the truth while leaving out a number of significant facts.
"They say that Gryffindor's sword is somewhere in Hogwarts already."
"The last appearance of Gryffindor's sword was during the war with Grindelwald. We believe that Hogwarts holds custodianship of it and the sword will appear to true Gryffindors in need," Severus agreed. He was grateful they weren't trying to find the sword as that would likely be a daunting task.
"And Salazar Slytherin has a special locket, it's in his portrait. What happened to that?" Malcolm asked.
"We presume that it was passed down through Salazar's descendants, much as with Helga's cup, though we do not know where that is either. Reuniting the founders' artifacts will likely be a task that will take many decades of research," Severus said, lying again.
Malcolm nodded. "Was there anything else?"
"No, that's all. You know where I am if you need me for anything," Severus said, tucking the portrait away again.
"Thank you, sir," Malcolm said, standing and letting himself out of Severus' office.
Severus sighed. He didn't actually expect that his students would have seen Helga's cup, but he could understand why Albus wanted to try while they had the opportunity. Albus was also discreetly asking people. Severus had already spoken with Theo and Pansy with similar results. He had Draco coming in a few minutes and that was the last of his current students that he knew for certain had grown up in a Death Eater home.
He wished he better knew how to help Rachel with Looking through space, but he was grateful that Albus was giving her a break to finish recovering. Finding the cup horcrux was vital. If it could not be done through Looking through space, then they needed to start exploring alternative options. Severus didn't know what those were yet.
A knock on his door drew him from his thoughts. "Enter."
Draco entered and closed the door behind him. He was looking better this year and was much closer to his self assured demeanor that he'd shown when he was younger. Severus assumed that feeling safer in the school and receiving extra Defense training had helped him feel more secure as it seemed to do for Rachel.
"You asked to see me, sir?" Draco asked.
"Yes, please take a seat," Severus said, sitting down across the table from Draco. "How are you faring?"
Draco shrugged. "Fine. The homework situation is a bit intense and the war seems to be growing worse, but otherwise, fine."
Severus nodded. "In four and a half months the homework situation will resolve itself. Do you feel well placed to take your NEWTs?"
"I suppose. I don't think I'll fail anything and I expect to take Outstandings in Potions and Defense at least," Draco said.
"Have you given more thought to what you'd like to do after you finish at Hogwarts?"
"You're joking, right?" Draco asked.
"I'm not. Obviously you will still need to be in a safe place during the war, which may hamper any plans that you have, but the war will not last forever. It is a possibility that we will leave Britain for a short while, depending on the situation, but again, that will not be forever," Severus assured him.
Draco frowned and then shook his head. "I don't see how this war ends. We're losing the war. No one is saying it, but we are. The Ministry is going to fall, either before the election or after it. I'm supposed to take my family seat on the Wizengamot in August, but I don't see how that's going to work. I don't see how Rachel can either, or Neville. We'll be killed if we go out there. The Dark Lord has already shown he can invade the Ministry at will."
Severus had those concerns too. "I'm not certain how that will work, but for now we will worry about the Wizengamot in August and make what preparations we can right now."
"If I'm fleeing Britain, I want Pansy to come with me. It's not safe for her either," Draco said.
"Have you asked Miss Parkinson what she wishes to do under those circumstances?" Severus asked.
"No, but I suppose I should. I don't want to scare her, but I think she needs to know that Britain might not be safe for us in the coming months. Are we going to leave Hogwarts? Before our NEWTs?"
"That's not the current plan, but you should have a bag prepared in case we need to flee with short notice," Severus said.
"I already do. Sirius told all of us to have one this summer, in case we needed to evacuate headquarters. I'll tell Pansy too, when I talk to her. Will you talk to Pansy too?" Draco asked, looking worried.
"I will," Severus said, wondering how many students they could move safely. Rachel, Draco, and Malcolm all needed to go as they would be in the most danger. Pansy, Neville, and Theo were in the next group who were likely to be hunted by Death Eaters. Severus began to wonder if they could take Tonks and maybe Shacklebolt with them when they fled. A larger group would be harder to move, but the more trained wands they had, the better they'd be prepared to defend themselves. "How is the situation in the House?"
"Quiet, mostly. People have adjusted to so many being missing, though there's some renewed worry about what's happening to those who have gone since the situation with Malcolm became public. Pansy and I and the other prefects are keeping an eye out for Malcolm, but he mostly keeps to himself. I know Rachel and Theo are keeping an eye on him too," Draco explained.
"Good, please let me know if there is a problem with Malcolm or with anyone else. There is something I must ask of you, but you may decline if you wish."
"What is it, sir?" Draco asked.
"I am searching for an object and I would like to ask you if you've seen it before. This must be confidential," he explained.
"I can do that. You mean something the Death Eaters have, right?" Draco asked.
"I do."
"Mostly they didn't leave things out where we could see them, but if it was in my father's study or something like that, I might have seen it. What is it?"
Severus stood and retrieved the painting. "I am looking for this golden cup. It has two handles and an etching of a badger on the side."
Draco stood and moved closer to look at the painting, his mouth in a flat line. "Maybe, I'm not sure."
"Maybe?" Severus asked.
"I need to check something. I'll be right back," Draco said.
"Draco," Severus said.
"I have a photo album," Draco explained. "But I need to look more closely at the photo to see if it's the same. I'll be back in a few minutes."
"Alright," Severus said, though he was reluctant to let Draco leave when they might have a lead. He looked back at the painting, taking a closer look at the cup. Assuming the painting was accurate, it was a distinctive cup, with the handles curling in and then out again at the bottom where they were attached, and a fine engraving of a badger between the handles.
Draco returned about ten minutes later carrying a leatherbound photo album with him. He opened it at the table and Severus moved to his side to see. It was strange to see these photos from twenty years ago. He recognized the people in them as fellow Death Eaters. There were portraits and photos from parties. Severus put his finger on a photo. "That is Regulus Black and Barty Crouch Junior. You may wish to offer to show Mr. Black this photo, I'm not sure he has any photos of his brother as an adult."
"He died in the war, didn't he?" Draco asked, looking down at the photo.
"He did. He turned away from the Dark Lord and died trying to stop him," Severus said.
Draco nodded solemnly, staring at the photo of the two smiling men for a long moment before he resumed turning pages. "Here. Shortly after I was born. That's my mother and my aunt Bellatrix."
"May I take the photo out to examine it more closely?" Severus asked.
"Sure," Draco said.
Severus gently liberated the photo from the pages of the album and brought it up to look closer. It was Narcissa, Bellatrix, and a tiny bundle of blankets with a small red face sticking out. They were standing in front of a fireplace and on the mantel was a golden cup in the exact shape of that as the cup in the portrait. Severus retrieved a magnifying glass from his desk and brought it back to the picture.
"What do you think?" Draco asked, leaning close so that he could see.
Severus relinquished the magnifying glass so that Draco could see properly. "It's the closest I've seen. Either it is a good replica or it is the cup. Was this taken in your home or your aunt's home?"
"My aunt's home, this fireplace isn't ours," Draco said, looking at the painting again. "It's hard to make out the badger for sure, but it looks pretty close."
"May I borrow this photo for a while. Possibly a month, maybe longer," Severus asked.
"Yes. This will help with the war somehow?" Draco asked.
"Perhaps. It is a possibility we are pursuing," Severus said. "This must remain between us. We cannot risk anyone knowing this information. Do not even share this with Pansy or your friends."
"I won't, sir," Draco promised.
"Thank you. Professor Dumbledore and I appreciate your assistance. Did you have further questions for me? About the war, or your schoolwork?" Severus asked.
"Not at the moment."
"You know how to reach me if you need me or if you have concerns."
"I'm keeping an eye on things. We all have our guard up," Draco promised before leaving.
Severus tucked the photo into his robe pocket and made for the fireplace. "Headmaster's office. Albus, may we speak?"
"Come through," Albus called.
Severus flooed to Albus' office and found him at his desk with stacks of parchment and a heavy frown as he worked.
"What may I do for you?" Albus asked, not looking up.
"We have a possible lead on the cup."
Albus looked up abruptly. "One of the students recognized it?"
"Draco had a photograph from when he was an infant. It was taken in Bellatrix Lestrange's house." Severus produced the photo and brought it to Albus.
Albus sat for a long time studying it and used his own magnifying glass to look closer. "Perhaps. It's difficult to see the engraving, but the handles look right."
"What would have happened to Bellatrix's house once she was placed in Azkaban? It was in Hampshire, so if the cup is in London, the items must have been moved."
"I presume the home would have been raided for dark artifacts before the Lestrange trial in early '82. Presuming this is the horcrux, then it is either contained in the Ministry as evidence or it is in her vault in Gringotts. I will contact Rufus and Amelia and see if I can find what became of the objects from the Lestrange home after the trial and I will contact Bill and Sirius to find out if Bellatrix's vault was ever moved from the Black family to the Lestrange family. My guess is that she would not have transferred it, which will potentially make things easier for us. If it's in neither place, then we must assume the Blacks or the Lestranges had another property in London and we should be able to discover that as well. Excellent work, Severus."
Severus nodded, understanding what needed to be done. "I'm not prepared for Rachel to go into an unsecured home that belonged to the Blacks or the Lestranges to search for the horcrux."
Albus nodded once. "Let's search for information first and once we have a probable location for the horcrux we will go from there."
Severus decided to leave it for now. He would put his foot down if it became necessary. "I will leave you to your work."
"Alright, welcome back everyone, a little later than we expected, but that's alright," Theo said, looking over the DA. This was the first time they'd been able to hold a DA meeting since they'd come back from the Christmas holiday. Gemma had still been in the hospital wing last Thursday, but she was back to teaching classes now and was at the DA meeting tonight.
"Today we're going to do something a little different," Theo continued. "Seventh years and a few of the sixth years are each going to partner with a younger student. The upper year students are the protectors. If your protector gets hit on the torso with the target practice spell, both of you are out. If the person you are protecting is hit, both of you are out. Remember, you don't want to hold your shield for a long time, your shield is a reactive tool. Combat disruption spells and disarming are allowed, stunning and physical attacks are not. We have the whole room to work with, though once you're out, go stand around the edges so you're no longer targeted. Take a moment to look around at the obstacles. You're not trying to get somewhere specific, so picking somewhere to defend is a reasonable option, but also can have drawbacks. Questions?"
"Let's do it!" Scarlett called when no one replied.
"Alright, partner up and pick your starting place, we'll start in five minutes," Theo said.
Rachel glanced around the room as the younger students hurried around trying to pick the best protector.
"Rachel, Rachel, I want to be with you," Viola said as she rushed up.
"Me too, can we both be with you?" Penelope asked.
"Sure," Rachel said. They'd been practicing in groups of three for their Defense lessons, so she was more used to that anyway. "Let's find a spot that is tall enough to cover us."
"Shouldn't be too hard, we're all relatively short," Penelope said.
Both of them were shorter than Rachel, but Viola would probably be as tall as Rachel by next year. Rachel could tell that Viola had grown from last year. "Here we go," Rachel said as they found a block that was just tall enough to cover them from behind and left them facing the windows. "We've got to cover our sides. Viola, you're on the left. Penelope, you're on the right. Shield first and let me attack. Once we have them on the defensive, we drive them off. If someone is coming our way but doesn't see us, use the target practice spell, otherwise, shield first. We'll let about half the people involved leave the field first and then we'll start being more offensive."
"Got it," Viola said, holding her wand out.
"Ready," Penelope said.
"Alright. My whistle will both stop and end the game," Theo called. A moment later his whistle sounded.
There was the sound of running feet and spells being cast. Occasionally a younger student called out a spell verbally, though the study group had been encouraging the fifth and the fourth years in the DA to start with non-verbal casting. Non-verbal casting held such an advantage that it was worth learning sooner if possible.
Rachel heard footsteps coming from the left. "Shield," she whispered to Viola.
Viola whispered "protego" and a moment later Anthony and Maggie appeared. Anthony shielded while Maggie cast the target practice spell at them. Rachel stepped out slightly and cast the Leg Locker curse three times at Anthony's shield and quickly followed it up with the target practice spell as soon as his shield dropped.
"Damn it," Anthony said.
"Sorry," Rachel called back, taking her position again and pulled Viola back a step.
"My shield held because Maggie was just using the target practice spell," Viola said.
"Yep. That works in here, but it won't almost anywhere else. You want to keep them on the defensive, force them to drop their shield, then stun. But not in here," Rachel said, keeping her wand ready. Her heart was beating a little faster.
"She should have used a combat disrupting spell first," Penelope said.
"That's right," Rachel agreed, though she knew the youngest students were still learning those spells. If Maggie was still struggling with a shield then Anthony had made the right choice to be the person with the shield, but they should have picked a place to defend instead of coming searching for a fight.
Rachel listened careful at the sounds of combat, forcing herself to take slow steady breaths. She was fine. These people were all her friends. They were just playing.
Pansy and Astoria came rushing by, being pursued by Harper and Stephen. Viola carefully aimed her wand and took out Astoria with a target practice spell to the back while Rachel and Penelope both shielded.
Stephen and Harper both shielded as well, all of them watching each other warily. "Aim for Penelope," Harper said, just loud enough to be heard.
Rachel moved her shield to cover Penelope and Viola popped out to the side and started casting the Knockback Jinx at their shields. Rachel widened her stance, but Viola was doing a good job of ducking back when Harper began to send spells in her direction. "When he comes out to cast at Viola, hit him with the target practice spell," Rachel whispered in Penelope's ear.
Penelope nodded and watched for another two minutes for the right opening before she peeked around Rachel's shield and hit Harper right above his groin with the target practice spell.
Rachel managed to stop herself from smiling, but just barely. "We need to work on your aim a little bit," she said as Harper and Stephen left the field grumbling to each other.
Penelope shrugged. "My mom says that for boys, sometimes you want to aim there."
"Under defensive circumstances only, not in training," Rachel told her.
"We're doing good, but this is a little intense," Viola said, peering around their obstacle.
"It is," Rachel agreed. She could still feel her heart pounding, but she was doing alright. She wondered if that was all the training they'd been doing with Tonks and Kingsley. She thought about that for a moment and realized that it had been at least two months since she'd had a really significant problem in Defense training. She still felt scared or overwhelmed or felt her heart beating fast or her stomach feeling sick, but she wasn't freezing anymore. She felt herself smile. She was improving.
Hannah and Lesley came around the corner, but quickly shielded and retreated when they saw wands aimed in their direction.
The room was becoming quieter as more and more people were leaving the field. "I'm going to take a peek, switch places with me for a moment," Rachel told Viola. She peered around the wall, but the center or the room was mostly empty. She saw movement, carefully sighted down her wand and hit Padma with the target practice spell, causing her and Felix to exit.
"How many people are left?" Penelope asked.
Rachel glanced at the walls she could see, quickly grouping people by House and year to see who was missing. "Less than half now."
"Are we going to go look for people?" Viola asked.
"Let me look on the other side," Rachel said, switching places again. "We are going to move from obstacle to obstacle along the edge and try to flush people out. When we move, have your shields up and to the side as anyone who is watching will take shots at us. Be prepared to run or drop to the floor. Let's start by moving to the obstacle that's about ten paces away."
"Ready," Penelope said.
"Ready," Viola echoed.
"On the count of three we move. One. Two. Three."
All three of them held their shields to the side and rushed to the next obstacle. Rachel saw Draco and Martin poking out to take shots at them. They made it to the obstacle unscathed and Rachel looked at them. "We're going to draw Draco and Martin out. Both of you shield, I'm going to hit them with the target practice spell. We're going around that edge of the obstacle like we're continuing forward. Ready?"
Both girls nodded.
"On three. One. Two. Three."
They moved out of the obstacle and sure enough Draco and Martin were waiting for them and they immediately cast spells their way. Rachel knew how quickly Draco could shield and move, so she aimed at Martin and caught him just below his throat. Rachel quickly pulled Penelope and Viola back into cover.
"Wow," Penelope said, her eyes wide.
"You alright?" Rachel checked.
Penelope nodded. "I hope I never have to do this for real."
Rachel reminded herself that Penelope was only twelve years old. "We're playing, no one will get hurt, but if you want to stop, we can."
"I'm alright. It's just a little scary," Penelope said. "But I want to keep going."
"Me too," Viola said. "But if this is what being an auror is like, I don't want to do it."
"Me neither," Rachel told her. "Alright, I'm going to take another peek, see if I can figure out who is left and where they are."
Another scan of the walls told her that all of the sixth years except Ginny were out and that most of the study group was still in the game. Rachel waited and watched, knowing that the others would be peeking out and trying to make the same assessments she was. Finally she spotted Ron - easily identified by his short red hair and tall build - two obstacles down and around the corner. "Okay, we're moving again. Straight to the obstacle across from us. Same thing, shields up, be ready to run."
"Ready," Viola said.
"Ready," Penelope said after a moment.
Rachel wondered again if she shouldn't take Penelope out of the game and decided she'd check again at the next obstacle. "One. Two. Three."
They ran with their shields up and Rachel saw movement across the room. Hermione and Demelza were making a similar trek around the obstacles. They made it to their next obstacle and Rachel made a decision. "Stay here, I'll be right back."
"Rachel?" Penelope asked.
"I'm going to hit Ron, but he's going to be looking over here. Poke out a bit, but stay shielded on my signal. I'll wave my hand and then give a thumbs up," Rachel instructed.
"Got it. Hurry back," Viola said, readying her wand.
Rachel knew that she could crawl directly between these two obstacles and peer around the corner and see Ron without being seen. She dropped down, cast her shield, and made her way in an awkward scooting motion. She stayed on the ground when she got to the next obstacle and then gave the signal to Viola.
She waited until Ron peeked out to cast a Viola and then hit him with the target practice spell. Ron shook his head, but left to the edge of the room with Jimmy. Rachel peeked out again and saw Hermione peeking out and quickly pulled back in time to avoid a spell. Someone other than Hermione had seen her and now she was stuck here until she dealt with them. Rachel moved to the other side of the obstacle, crouched down, and peeked again. It was Theo and Malcolm.
Rachel kept watch and tried to decide what to do. She needed to get back to Viola and Penelope without drawing attention to them. The room was almost silent now, the upper years responsible for most of the spells and everyone was hiding and creeping from place to place. Rachel swallowed around the lump in her throat and decided her first priority was getting back to the girls, she could wait to take on Theo. She went back to the other side of the obstacle and crouched down as low as she could go. She was going to go back the same way that she'd gotten here. She thought her shield would hold long enough for her to get across and getting hit by the Leg Locker curse or the Knockback jinx wouldn't hurt her on the ground.
Shielding, Rachel crept back across between the obstacles, her shield taking multiple hits. She saw Viola and Penelope leaning out and casting back, trying to draw the attention off of her. Rachel's shield went down and she was hit by a Knockback jinx, which shoved her to the ground. She shielded again in time to stop the target practice spell and pulled herself behind the obstacle.
"Are you alright?" Penelope asked.
"Fine, it didn't hurt," Rachel assured her as she got back to her feet and dusted off her robes. "Are you both alright?"
"We're okay, we didn't get hit. We were trying to get them to notice us, but they were focused on you," Viola said.
Rachel nodded. They'd focused on her because she was the bigger threat. "Let's take another look." She peered out again, looking for a moment around the other obstacles. She knew Theo and Hermione were still in the game. Given that she didn't see Millie or Ginny at the walls, she thought they still were too. Unless she was missing someone, that was everyone who was left. It also left them with a larger problem. No one had incentive to move at the moment because the risks were too great.
"What do we do?" Penelope asked.
"I think we stay here and keep watch," Rachel said. "No one can sneak up on us where we're at."
"Is this what it's really like? To fight?" Viola asked, looking worried.
Rachel hesitated before answering. They were both young and she didn't want to scare them. "Not exactly. If this was a real fight, they'd be pressing us, not hiding."
The sound of Theo's whistle ended the conversation and everyone came out. Rachel was pleased that she'd identified who was left. Tonks and Kingsley both insisted that being able to read a battlefield was a necessary skill and that they should know where their enemy was and how many of them there were.
"Alright, let's talk about what happened and what we've learned and we'll wrap up for the night," Theo directed.
A few of the DA offered their suggestions or shared how they'd been defeated and they sent everyone back to their dorms with a reminder that they should be practicing the Patronus charm and Shield charm daily if they weren't confident in them yet.
"Can we talk for a moment?" Gemma asked the study group.
"I think I know what you're going to say," Theo said.
Gemma nodded. "In general I don't have a problem with the practices you're doing, but I think that was a little too close to a war game for the younger kids."
"I agree. I think we scared Viola and Penelope a little bit," Rachel said.
"We definitely didn't intend for it to come out that way, but I see what you mean. It was a fair bit more intense than what we usually do. I think we should pull that one from our curriculum," Hermione agreed.
"I think that would be a good idea. I had Isobelle and she was a bit scared," Millie said, nodding.
"Alright, as long as we're all on the same page," Gemma said.
"We are," Neville said. "We don't want to scare anyone."
"We don't. That's not our intention at all," Rachel said. They were there to practice skills, not to teach the younger students to be afraid of fighting. She knew from experience that fear only got in the way when it came time to really fight.
"They're here, right?" Scarlett asked as she entered the locker room.
"They should be, I haven't seen them yet," Rachel said from where she was sitting and putting on her gear. She'd received responses from the coaches for the Holyhead Harpies, the Kenmare Kestrals, and the Tutshill Tornados indicating that they'd be at today's game to watch her play.
Rachel was torn. It didn't matter. She was never going to play for the league. And at the same time it felt very important and she was weighing who she wanted to play with. Obviously the Harpies were her top choice. She would have invited the coach from the Ballycastle Bats, but according to Quidditch Monthly they had just gotten a new reserve Seeker last year. She was about split on the Kestrals and the Tornados, but was leaning a little bit more to the Kestrals. But it didn't matter.
"You nervous?" Scarlett asked as she changed.
She checked on herself, feeling oddly like she was checking on herself the way she checked on the Dark Lord. She didn't find nerves or anxiety. Just a determination to do well for her team and to get the game over with. "Not really. Ginny's a good Seeker, but unless it's a situation where I'm across the pitch when she sees the Snitch, I have a faster and more maneuverable broom. The rest of the team can manage the Gryffindors just fine."
"That's good then. I think I always do better at things when I'm not nervous. Amy always winds herself up before quizzes and exams, but I don't think it helps her."
Rachel nodded. She wasn't sure if she'd just outgrown her anxiety about school related things or if she simply had too many other things to be anxious about so that the school things didn't really register to her anymore. She took a moment to move her legs and flex her arms and hands to make sure all of her gear was sitting right, but everything felt as it should.
The locker room door opened and both Rachel and Scarlett turned to look. It was Viola and Penelope.
"We just wanted to come wish the team luck," Penelope said.
"Not that the Slytherin team ever needs luck," Viola said proudly. "I saw the coaches walking up to the staff box with Professor Snape and Professor Dumbledore. Who did you get?"
"Harpies, Kestrals, and Tornados," Rachel listed as she grabbed her broom.
"Not the Magpies?" Penelope asked.
Rachel shrugged. "They were in my top five, but not my top three. I thought about asking the Arrows, apparently they were my dad's team of choice, but from what I've read, I don't think my play style fits with theirs."
"No, you're too soft for the Arrows," Scarlett agreed.
"Soft?" Penelope asked.
"Rachel likes us to play a clean game. We don't ever purposely foul the other teams. The Arrows are willing to accept penalties because they know their Keeper is in the top three of the league," Scarlett said.
"I don't want us to foul the other teams because it's poor sportsmanship, not because we don't have a good Keeper," Rachel clarified. "And the captain and coach of the Arrows seem to be very aggressive in their tactics."
"Alright, let's go," Scarlett said as she grabbed her broom.
Rachel grabbed her own broom and they went out to join the boys. "Alright, Gryffindor," she said once she had them all in a huddle. "They've got two new Chasers this year and if what we saw in December holds true, they're still getting up to speed. Ron has improved, but I know you can get past him. Richie and Jimmy have also improved, but they're still no match for you. Concentrate the Bludgers on Demelza unless you see Ginny moving towards the Snitch, otherwise leave Ginny to me."
"And don't forget we have league coaches watching us today. Let's do our team proud," Draco said, getting nods.
"We always do," Timothy said.
"Don't worry about us," Harper agreed.
"Alright, on the pitch," Rachel directed.
They went as a group and Rachel peered up at the stands as people cheered. She did a quick check on the Dark Lord and found him busy and focused, which should be fine. She didn't anticipate an interruption in the game from him today.
They found the Gryffindors waiting and Rachel stepped forward to shake hands with Ginny.
"You've got this?" Ginny asked softly, raising her eyebrows.
"Just play your best, I'm not worried," Rachel said.
"You should be," Ginny said with a smile.
Rachel returned the smile, went back to her spot, and mounted her broom.
On the whistle they went up into the air. Rachel kept going for a moment, wanting a good overview of the pitch. The best case scenario for her was if this ended in a chase, that way she could show off her agility skills. She watched the Chasers, Draco taking control of the Quaffle, and then began her search.
She kept a general awareness of the game around her as she used various search patterns. Ginny was to the west working in a cross hatch and just below her was the battle with the Chasers. Stephen knocked a Bludger into the Chasers' path, upsetting a pass as Martin intercepted and started back across the pitch.
The game went on, Rachel continued to search and kept half an ear on the commentary so that she could focus more on what she was seeing. They'd been in the air about ninety minutes when she caught the glimmer of the Snitch out of her eye and went for it, knowing Ginny would be converging from the opposite direction.
The Snitch dove and Rachel followed it, going faster than a freefall as the ground rushed up. She heard more than saw Ginny approaching and they leveled briefly before they began to climb again. The path of the Snitch took them through the Chasers. Rachel leaned and ducked, managing not to get in the way of a pass from Draco to Harper and then began climbing and swerving again as she followed the Snitch.
Slowing down to pass through the Chasers had allowed Ginny to gain on her and she was now maybe two broomstick lengths behind. The Snitch swerved towards Ginny and Rachel went for it, reaching with one hand while using her momentum to swing down in a sloth grip roll. Her fingers found the Snitch and she finished the roll and narrowly avoided being speared by Ginny's broom. Rachel slowed to a stop and held her fist up to show that she'd caught the Snitch and found herself panting with exhilaration. That was why she flew.
It felt good to feel something other than worry and numbness and anxiety and guilt.
"That's the game, with Snow getting the Snitch. Final score 280 Slytherin to 70 Gryffindor," the commentator announced.
Ginny swung back around. "That was close. Next time we face off it's going to be in the league."
Rachel felt her smile fall away. She wasn't ever going to play Seeker against Ginny again, not here at Hogwarts. Not in the league. Her Quidditch career was nearly over.
"You alright?" Ginny asked after what seemed like both a short time and a long time.
"Fine. I've got to go. I'll see you later, right?"
"Yeah, sure," Ginny said, though she sounded uncertain.
Rachel flew back down and rejoined her team.
"Nice catch," Draco said. "A bit risky on the sloth grip roll, but definitely not the scariest thing I've ever seen you do."
"Thanks," Rachel said. It hadn't been that risky. She'd been able to judge that Ginny would be past her by the time she came back up from the roll.
"Ready to meet the coaches?" Draco asked.
"As ready as I'm going to get," she said, wondering what she was supposed to say to them. "Nice job everyone," she told the team since they were gathered. "With a point lead like this we're almost guaranteed the cup this year."
"Easy enough," Harper said dismissively.
"I need to work on the left ring," Timothy said.
"We can drill on it," Rachel told him as they walked around the edge of the stands to where the locker rooms were situated.
Waiting nearby was Severus, Sirius, and the three coaches. She'd known Sirius had been wanting to see her play, but she hadn't expected him here today.
"This is my daughter, Rachel Snow. She's been Slytherin's Seeker for the past five and a half years and she's yet to lose a game that she's played in," Severus introduced her.
"Impressive record. You have a traditional Seeker's build," the coach with the Kestrals badge on his cloak said.
At least her being short and small came in handy for something.
"How long have you been on the Firebolt?" the Tornado's coach asked.
"A year and a half now," Rachel said.
"You slowed well below the top speed of a Firebolt for your maneuvers, can you tell us why?" the Harpies coach asked.
"Speed isn't an asset there," Rachel said after realizing that wasn't a criticism, but a test of her knowledge. "You don't want to be going more slowly than your opponent, but if you're going faster than the Snitch you're going to miss a turn pretty easily and there's no coming back from that. A Firebolt is an advantageous broom, but it's foolish to fly at top speed and potentially miss something unless you're going in a straight line."
"Good. It sometimes can take people a while to understand that when they're making a switch to superior broom. As far as I'm concerned, you have an open invitation to try out for the Harpies. We intend to recruit for a reserve Seeker starting this summer, but we aren't in a rush, we'll wait for the right person."
"Same here, you have an invitation to try out to the Kestrals, you'll receive your invitation in the post in the next week."
"Expect one from the Tornados as well."
"Thank you very much. And thank you for coming to see me play today," she told them, trying to be pleased at their response but mostly feeling a little let down that she'd never have the chance to try out for the league. She had known that going into this, but it was still a little disappointing.
"It was a pleasure to watch you play. You have a talented team coming together. Now, I believe we need an escort to leave the grounds. Might I trouble you for a floo?" the Tornados coach asked.
"You're welcome to use the floo in my office," Severus said. "Rachel, I'll see you for dinner tomorrow."
"See you then," Rachel told him.
Sirius approached as Severus led the coaches away. "I'm so proud of you. Look at you go," he said, leaning in to hug her.
Rachel hugged him back. She was glad he'd gotten the opportunity to see her play. "I have a good team."
"You do. And you're incredible. That sloth roll grip; I thought my heart was going to stop there for a second. And flying through the Chasers in play. So what do you think? Try out for all three and see what happens?" Sirius asked.
"Depends on how this summer looks," she prevaricated.
Sirius' smile fell away. "That's true. A lot will depend on the situation with the Ministry and the war. But the war won't last forever. Now, I bet you have a party in the common room to get to."
"I do, but I'll see you next Saturday for Hogsmeade weekend?" she checked.
"We'll be there if we can, and if we can't, you'll get a Patronus from me," Sirius promised.
"Sounds good. I think Professor Dumbledore is waiting for you?" she asked, noticing Professor Dumbledore standing nearby.
"He is, I'm supposed to give him some updates. Go have a fun party, enjoy yourself," Sirius said, clapping her on the shoulder.
"I will," she told him, not wanting him to worry about her.
"Alright, see you in a week," Sirius said, turning away.
"See you," Rachel called and then went into the girls' locker room and found Scarlett, Viola, and Penelope waiting for her.
"Well, what'd they say?" Scarlett asked.
"I have an open invitation from all three to try out for the reserve Seeker position," Rachel said.
Scarlett whooped, Viola cheered, and Penelope was clapping her hands.
"That's so cool!" Viola said. "And you've got to teach me the sloth grip roll."
"Alright, tomorrow we'll do the sloth grip roll," Rachel said, trying to feel some of their enthusiasm but not finding it within herself.
"Forget the Girl-Who-Lived, you should be the Girl-Who-Seeked," Penelope said and then paused. "Seeked? Sought? Whatever."
Rachel shook her head. "I'll just stick with my name, thank you." The last thing she needed was another title. She reminded herself that this had been a good day, she'd gotten what she'd wanted, and now she was going to spend some time with her Slytherin friends. She was alright.
She was glad she waited until she'd sat down before she read the front page of Sunday morning's Daily Prophet. "God."
"What now?" Theo asked, leaning in to look.
Rachel pushed the paper over to Theo and Millie. She'd seen as much as she wanted for the day.
"At least forty muggles killed in Islington explosion, muggles searching for terrorists," Theo read, shaking his head.
"Merlin. Do you think he was after someone specific?" Millie asked.
Rachel closed her eyes and checked on the Dark Lord. She hadn't felt anything from him yesterday that would have suggested an attack like this. He was focused, but not busy. There weren't any particularly strong feelings that she usually associated with after an attack. "I don't think he was even there. I think this was his Death Eaters." She probed further, trying to get a sense of what he was doing. She thought he wasn't reading or writing, that felt different, but his attention was on something.
"Rachel?"
She opened her eyes. "Yeah?"
"Can I cast a privacy ward around us and ask you a question?" Theo asked.
"Sure," Rachel said, though she wasn't even sure they needed the privacy ward. There was barely anyone at breakfast at just after eight on Sunday. She shivered as he cast the ward around them.
"This is just something I noticed, but maybe I'm wrong, but I'm not sure if you noticed it and I wanted to check," he continued.
"Okay," she said, though she had no idea where he was going with that.
"Over the past couple of months, what you've told us about sensing the Dark Lord has gotten a lot more specific. Are you just more comfortable telling us or is what you're sensing changing?" he asked.
"I've noticed that too. Even just a year ago, I don't think you would have known whether he was at an attack unless you'd seen it for yourself," Millie said.
"It's definitely getting more specific. I can't quite see him, but I can almost get a clear idea of what he's doing. I think he's lying to me when he says he doesn't have a connection in his mind," Rachel said.
Theo and Millie looked at each other and then back to Rachel. "Is he doing the same to you? Can you tell?" Theo asked.
"I think so, he says he can, but he's never backed that up with anything specific he's seen. It's weird, because he says he can tell when I'm having a vision and he can feel me watching him. But when I get the sense of being watched, it's never when I'm talking to Severus or Professor Dumbledore. I can't tell if I'm feeling him watching me or if it's just anxiety."
"What if he wants you to think he can just to scare you and make you feel unsafe?" Millie suggested.
"That's a good possibility. Unless there is pretty solid evidence, we usually consider anything the Dark Lord tells me as likely being a lie," Rachel agreed.
"Do you feel this being watched feeling when you're talking to us?" Theo asked.
"Usually not in the study room, but sometimes out in the castle. Never in my dorm for some reason. Or in Severus' quarters."
"Please don't take this the wrong way, but that sounds more like anxiety to me," Theo said after a moment.
Rachel shrugged and began to serve herself some porridge. "Could be, it's hard to know for sure."
"Anyway, the reason I brought it up was because I wasn't sure if you'd noticed the changes in your connection and I wanted to be certain that it wasn't changing without you noticing," he said.
"Thanks. I appreciate that. It can be hard to tell from the inside. I know it has changed overall, but often there isn't a real big difference day to day. I almost want to get to the point where I can see what's going on. We can use any advantage we can get at this point. Maybe I should learn to read lips after all," she mused.
"I don't want them using you like that. I don't even like them using you the way they're using you now," Millie said.
"And I think we have to weigh the idea that changes to your end of the connection may have an impact on what he's able to do as well. We want to keep him out of your head as much as possible," Theo added.
Rachel nodded. She did know that. Tonight she needed to have a talk with Severus about the cup horcrux and where they were going from here. Then she needed to arrange to have a talk with Professor Dumbledore so they could sort out what they were doing about the war and what the upcoming six months were going to look like. At the moment she thought the chances of the Wizengamot holding on until the election in July were slim. She needed to know what their plans were for after the Ministry fell.
She somewhat suspected that Professor Dumbledore was going to tell her to flee the country with Severus, but she didn't see how that was practical. She couldn't find the cup horcrux from somewhere else or keep track of what the Dark Lord was doing. She needed to be here. Maybe not at Hogwarts, if the possibility of the Dark Lord coming here was too high, but she needed to be in Britain.
"I suppose the only thing we can really do is try to see how things are changing and go from there," Millie said.
It took Rachel a moment to mentally return to their conversation. "Yeah. I don't think we have much influence over this." At least not until she found the damn cup and closed her connection. She was wavering on that too. Maybe it was important that she left the connection open. Maybe the information they gained was worth her living through all of this. It was hard to know.
Theo ended the privacy ward as Draco, Pansy, and Daphne approached.
"No Blaise today?" Millie asked.
"He said that if he wanted food he would go to the kitchens but he was getting an extra hour of sleep while he has the opportunity," Draco said. "Which may not be a terrible way of doing things."
Rachel was much more awake than she usually was on a Sunday morning. She hadn't realized how much Looking through space was taking out of her until she had a few weeks off and then had begun to get better from being sick.
"Are we doing Arithmancy tonight?" Pansy asked.
"Sure. Does around seven thirty work for you?" Rachel checked. She wanted to leave herself some time to talk with Severus.
"Fine with me," Daphne said.
"Four more months and then I am never doing another Arithmancy equation again," Pansy declared.
"Four more months and we'll never have homework again," Daphne added.
Four more months. That wasn't much time at all. Somehow time kept sneaking up on her. She'd barely registered January, though that had been because she'd been sick for half of it. Of course, not having the cup was dragging that date out later too. That stupid cup. Objectively she knew that they'd narrowed their search a ton and that somewhere in London was a much more achievable goal than somewhere in Britain. But it was still frustrating.
"Do you think Mastery programs give you homework?" Millie asked.
"I don't think so. I think you're just there with them during the day doing the tasks they assign you and then you have the evenings and weekends off," Theo said.
"I can't believe the three of you are voluntarily signing up for more schooling after all of this," Pansy said. "I mean, I can, because you study all the time. I just can't imagine wanting to do it."
Millie shrugged. "It can't be worse than this, can it? And this isn't as bad as our fifth year was."
Rachel nodded absently. Even though last year had been rough, and her fourth year as well, nothing had come close to the sheer intensity of unrelenting stress of their fifth year yet. This year had been hard in its own way, but she wasn't watching over her shoulder every second of the day like she had been in fifth year and that made a huge difference.
"I don't think it will be worse than this," Theo said. "For one, all of your focus will be on a field you're interested in. And there won't be make-work assignments and essays, it will all be practical on what you need to know for your field. The only downside is that we won't be there together."
"I'll miss that," Millie said.
Rachel would too. She was going to miss her friends. She hoped she'd be able to keep an eye on them after she died. She refocused on finishing her breakfast. Death and breakfast didn't go together.
They finished eating and left the rest of the Slytherins to go join their study group.
"Did you see the paper?" Hermione asked, clearly in a stormy mood.
"Kind of hard to miss," Theo said.
"I just don't know what we're supposed to do. How can anyone stop something like that?" Hermione asked as they left the Great Hall as a group.
Rachel had a feeling she knew. The Order needed a spy in the Death Eaters, just as they had in the last war. Maybe they couldn't stop the attack from happening at all, but the Order could show up more quickly to help save lives. Finding a occlumens capable of standing up to the Dark Lord's interrogations was a difficult prospect. Not to mention the fact that they'd be risking their life all of the time and would have an extraordinarily painful death if they were discovered. She didn't know where they could find someone who would be both capable and willing to spy on the Dark Lord.
"I don't think there is anything we can do from here," Theo was telling Hermione as they walked.
"How do they handle things like this in the muggle world?" Millie asked.
"Do you mean how do they stop things like this from happening in the muggle world?" Hermione asked.
Millie nodded. "Like, muggles attack each other too and blow things up sometimes. I've heard about it. How do they stop muggle attacks?"
Hermione sighed. "Oftentimes they don't. While most muggles aren't carrying a weapon that can do things like a wand can, explosive materials are fairly easy to make at home if you know what you're doing. There have been plenty of terrorist bombings on all sorts of places, though not often in Britain. To have an attack this big is going to cause a lot of questions in the muggle world. They'll want someone to claim responsibility for it, terrorists usually do."
"Why would someone say they did it? Wouldn't they not want to be caught? Wouldn't the muggles send them to prison if they said they did it?" Luna asked.
"Because terrorism is about the message. People can't be scared of you if they don't know who you are. Usually terrorists want something, like a change of legislation or freedom for someone in their group. Usually a specific person won't say they planted a bomb, but an organization will. And then the police will try to track down members of that organization," Hermione explained. "The idea that someone murdered forty people for no reason won't sit will with anyone."
"Well, I'm certain the muggle Prime Minister knows why, he would have been briefed by now. Probably the Queen as well," Theo said. "They're very limited in who they can tell though. Someone from the Minister's office will help them craft a plausible story."
"What about evidence?" Hermione asked as they came to a stop on the first floor landing. "They're not going to find traces of explosives at the crime scene."
"Right now there are probably dozens of people working to make sure this is properly explained to the muggles so that things fit. Something that even the Dark Lord can agree on is that we have to maintain the Statute of Secrecy," Theo said.
Hermione frowned. "Sometimes this makes me wonder if all those crazy conspiracy theories that crop up might just be because something magical happened and the explanations given didn't just quite match the evidence. How would someone even go about finding something like that out?"
"Work for the Department of Mysteries. All of the big cover ups are orchestrated by them," Ginny said.
"Either that or use past newspapers to coordinate a timeline between events in the magical world and in the muggle world," Luna suggested. "We'll see you when you're done with Transfiguration lessons?"
"We'll either come by the study room or see you after lunch," Millie said.
"I wish we'd been able to do this with you. I hate having to wait another year," Ginny said.
"Just think of all the extra practice you'll have had though," Hermione said, smiling at her.
Ginny rolled her eyes, but also smiled. "That better mean we achieve our forms twice as fast. See you in a few hours."
Luna and Ginny continued up the stairs while the seventh years started down the Transfiguration corridor. They found Professor McGonagall's door open and went to their cushions on the floor.
Professor McGonagall closed the door behind them with a motion of her hand and sat down. "We'll continue where we left off. While you are holding your magic I want you to pay particular attention to the memory of your initial change into your form. Focus on the sensations and follow the changes through to your form. Let's begin."
Rachel shifted on her cushion until she was mostly comfortable and exhaled. She reached for her magic, closed her eyes, and then focused on the memory of becoming smaller - though to her, the memory played as everything around her becoming bigger. She knew it would be a little while before she could achieve her form again, but it was good to be able to set everything else aside, even if it was just for a little bit.
"How was your day?" Severus asked as Rachel entered his quarters.
"Busy, but not bad. You?" she asked, setting her bag down and then dropping onto the sofa. She still had things she needed to do today, but she'd already had finished animagus meditations, Quidditch practice, Defense training with Kingsley and Tonks, and a Transfiguration NEWT review.
"Passing. I met with the Order in the morning and then graded papers and met with prefects the rest of the day," he said.
"Did the Order talk about the attack in Islington?" she asked.
"We did. The MLE hadn't even known something had happened until they began getting reports about an explosion at four in the morning. Shacklebolt informed the Order, but by the time anyone was at the scene the Death Eaters were gone and muggle emergency services were responding to the wounded."
Rachel sat with that for a moment. "What are they going to tell the muggles about what happened?"
"A bombing, though I don't know the details beyond that. They have to be careful to select perpetrators that the muggles can't retaliate against as we don't want to cause a muggle war," he explained.
"Won't they look for evidence? Bits of the bomb or something?" she asked, remembering Hermione's questions.
"I would assume that the bomb would be entirely destroyed in the explosion, but the Unspeakabes have a team that manages this sort of thing. They'll make certain all the appropriate evidence is in place and that people remember things the way they need to."
She put her hand over her mouth as she thought. This didn't feel right to her. "Isn't this wrong? Like morally?"
Severus held up his hand flat and waved it back and forth. "That depends on your point of view. Is it wrong to lie to people, change their memories, and manipulate evidence of a crime? I think most people would instinctively say yes. However, if the alternative is the revelation of magic and magical people to the muggle population at large, most people would say that's worth any cost, no matter what immoral things we might have to do."
"What do you think would happen if magic was revealed to everyone?" she asked. She had her own ideas, but Severus might have a better perspective.
"Hard to say. Magical people left the muggle world because it wasn't safe for them. Even long before the Statute of Secrecy, witches and wizards were persecuted. Young children were killed for displaying magical ability, or sometimes they were severely traumatized in exorcisms. That happens much more rarely now, but we have had a handful of children in the past century who arrive at Hogwarts having undergone an exorcism. They usually have a great deal of difficulty with adapting to the magical world."
Rachel felt her forehead furrowing. "What happens in an exorcism?" she asked. She'd heard the word before and knew that it was something a church did to get demons out of someone, but other than the idea that it was supposed to be scary, she didn't know more than that.
"Depends on the priest that does it, as different churches have different rituals. The idea is to drive out evil spirits or demons that have possessed the person. Obviously this is flawed, as someone's magical ability cannot be removed from them. Someone may become so ill or cursed that they can know longer perform magic, but that does not make them non-magical. Often the rite involves praying, holy water, placing their hands on the person, and being touched by holy objects. While there is generally not a physical assault, it can be mentally traumatic for children, particularly if they are exorcised more than once at their parents' behest," Severus explained.
"Wouldn't it make sense to tell families when children are younger that they're magical? When they first have accidental magic?" Rachel asked after thinking about it for a moment.
"Perhaps. We generally wait until eleven as that's around when children are mature enough to have some say in the direction of their lives. Imagine being the parent of a toddler and having strangers show up to tell you that your baby is magical, when you don't believe in magic. By the time a child is eleven, they're able to tell their parents that their experience matches what they're being told by strangers."
"I would have liked to have known sooner. I know Hermione wishes she'd known sooner."
"You should have known sooner. Your birthright was kept from you. And usually it is not the child that we need to convince of magic, it's the parents."
"I still think more should be done. We send muggleborn children to Hogwarts when they've only known about magic for a month and it's just…it's a lot," she said.
"It was a struggle for you?" Severus asked. "I never noticed that you struggled to adapt to the magical world, but perhaps I did not look for that as we were so concerned about your mutism."
Rachel shrugged. "Being told I was magical made some things fit for me. I knew weird things happened around me, things that didn't happen around other people. And I was told I was imagining it and to stop imagining it and not to talk about it. And it was a relief to know that I hadn't been imagining things. But Hogwarts was a really confusing change for me. Honestly, I was so numb to bad things that it just felt like another insurmountable thing that I was trying to deal with."
"I hadn't realized. I'm sorry," he said, looking worried.
She shook her head. She hadn't meant to make him worry more. "I'm fine now. There are still the occasional things that I stumble across because I didn't know they were real, but I've been adjusted for a number of years now. I just think that transition needs to be done better for muggleborns. It's hard to be successful in class when you're freaked out about the idea that ghosts and souls and fairies all exist, the castle is moving about, and the paintings are talking to you. A while back, I wanted to write a book, sort of a primer for muggleborns and their family members, so they weren't constantly being caught by surprise or being confused about why things were happening."
"I think that's a very good idea. Do you still aspire to write it?"
"I'd like to, but I really don't have the time right now." That would be a project that she wouldn't get a chance to do, but she supposed she couldn't do everything.
"Maybe not right now, but after the war, perhaps. Or if you decide not to do a Mastery right away, you will have some time on your hands," he suggested.
"Maybe," she said, wanting to leave it at that. "So what do you think would happen if magic was revealed?"
"Confusion. Chaos. Panic. Possibly wars or persecution. The muggles would undoubtedly try to regulate magic, and that's something magical people will never agree to. There would undoubtedly be a death toll. We fear that magical children may be harmed or taken away, as they used to be and sometimes still are. While adult witches and wizards can generally handle themselves against muggles, it would be the children who would suffer. The position of the ICW is that the Statute of Secrecy must be maintained for the safety of magical people globally. There are some cultures and religions that would respond to magic very negatively," he summarized.
"And so we make up stories about bombings and manufacture evidence, because it's the lesser of two evils?"
"Yes, it's what leads to less suffering in the long run," he agreed.
Rachel still wasn't sure she agreed with that. She knew firsthand there would be muggles who had problems with magic. But it felt wrong to have someone make evidence for a bombing that was really the result of a Death Eater attack. "There's no way to stop them from attacking muggles like this, is there?"
"There's not, not until we stop the Dark Lord himself."
"I think I need to talk to Professor Dumbledore. Like really talk."
"May I ask what about?" Severus looked concerned again.
"About the direction of the war and what we're going to do next. Our plan isn't working and I think we need to be thinking about contingency plans for when the Ministry falls. And have a better plan for dealing with the Dark Lord," she listed, though there were other things she wanted to talk with him about too.
"I will see if I can arrange a meeting for you, but it might not be right away. And I want you to keep in mind that you purposely don't have information about what much of the Order and the MLE are doing. The picture is much bigger than what you're seeing from here."
"I know, in case my mind gets compromised."
Severus shook his head. "Not just that, no Order member is given the full picture of the war in case they are captured or compromised. Just like we have small groups that operate on different tasks. There are many members of the Order that you haven't met, and by now there are undoubtedly members of the Order I haven't met. We keep compartmentalized for the safety of all of us."
"I'd still like to know my part though, and the horcruxes, the confrontation with the Dark Lord, and where I wind up after the Ministry falls all involve me. I think I should have a right to know those things," she insisted.
"I think that's a reasonable thing to ask. As for where you wind up when the Ministry falls, the plan is that you will stay with me. We'll leave here once it becomes clear that the Dark Lord has his sights set on Hogwarts, which likely will not happen right after the Ministry falls. He will need some time to consolidate power and put the people he wants into positions. To assault Hogwarts he'll want the best odds possible. You and I will leave Hogwarts at that point, and we'll take Malcolm with us, and likely Draco as well. We'll take a few days to get organized, then we'll leave the country with Black and Lupin, and possibly a few others."
"What about the horcruxes? I can't leave until we find the cup."
"Keeping you alive is more important than finding the horcrux," he said firmly.
"It's not. We need the horcrux to end the war," she pointed out, raising her eyebrows.
"We need you alive to end the war. That is non-negotiable. If necessary we can come back for the horcrux later, there will be illegal ways in and out of the country. Hopefully this will be a moot point and we'll have the cup by the time the Ministry falls. They've moved a number of Wizengamot families into protective custody to try to delay the election."
"There's been progress on the cup?" she asked, scarcely daring to believe it.
"There is a possible lead, but we should know more soon. I'm waiting to hear back from Albus on what the next steps are."
"His plan to show people the painting of the cup actually worked?" She had thought that to be a farfetched idea, but apparently she was wrong.
"Perhaps. There's always the possibility that it was a replica that was spotted, but we have to investigate. We should hear back soon," he repeated.
"Can I be involved? I feel like I should be involved." She wanted to be involved. This was her task.
"There is a possibility for you to be involved, but only under certain circumstances. I'm not going to have them dragging you through abandoned Death Eater houses looking for the cup. That's too dangerous. If they can narrow down the search to a house, they should be able to find it themselves."
"What if it's like Sirius' attic or the Room of Requirement? We don't have months for people to dig around somewhere like that and I bet it's warded against the Summoning charm." She wasn't sure she actually wanted to go dig around in some scary abandoned house where Death Eaters might show up, but she did want to help.
"We will see what the situation looks like and then proceed from there," Severus said in the tone that meant he was done with the conversation. "What do you want for dinner?"
That was probably the hardest question of the entire conversation. "Can I have soup and bread?"
"With some sort of vegetable," he agreed.
"Raw carrots." Carrots were her preferred vegetable as they hardly tasted like anything.
"That's fine. Go sit down and I'll order us dinner."
Rachel left her bag at the sofa and went to her spot at the dinner table. Next she had Arithmancy studying with Millie, Pansy, and Daphne, then she could review on her own for an hour, then she was done for the day. She was looking forward to going to sleep, but she was also now eagerly thinking about how finding the cup would work. She didn't know exactly what to imagine yet, but she was picturing something like the Room of Requirement. She could do that.