A.N.: Hey, so this one's been done for a long while. I didn't upload it for a long time because the cliffhanger I left you with on the last chapter is a lot less cliffy than the one in this chapter. But don't worry! The continuation is coming soon.

Chapter 22: Behind closed Doors

Despite having died weeks or even months ago, Jun Kasou had been regularly spotted at her residence—the house of her deceased father. It was located in the same general area where 'Jun' had taken me on our 'date'.

The district's dilapidated empty buildings were not nearly as oppressive as last night—now bathed in generous sunlight—but in return, my escort wasn't nearly as nice.

"I'd hoped our next meeting would be under better circumstances."

"Shut yer mouth, lout," Nonya barked.

Right, no small talk.

I didn't let his standoffishness get to me. Escalating matters would only waste time, and his sour opinion was pretty warranted. We closed in on Jun's residence soon enough anyway.

The house's facade was in better condition than most of the other empty lots, but it didn't stick out as anything particularly glamorous—just another single story home like the rest. After Nonya unlocked the front door by oh-so gracefully kicking it in, the inside proved similarly uninteresting.

A single floor with two bedrooms, one bathroom, and a kitchen dining room combo. It'd been kept clean and tidy to the point that it looked totally lifeless and artificial—like those fake houses in nuclear bomb testing sites.

A cursory search revealed absolutely nothing about what the rogue kunoichi had been up to during her extended stay in Yao. There was no hidden stash of ninja gear and no evidence of any crimes. The only finding of note was a worn, non-PG romance novel sitting on the kitchen counter—there was no bookshelf.

Nonya spat a globule of phlegm on the floor. "Looks like yer info was shite."

I put on an icy smile. "Patience is a virtue, good sir, and I do not appreciate being pressured."

For emphasis, I pushed out and twisted chakra in my hand to momentarily form an incomplete Rasengan. Though that particular technique was an empty threat, the lightshow more than got the point across. Nonya backed away.

I may have gone a bit overboard, but I was confident this place had more to be discovered. It made no sense for the rogue ninja to have regularly left her puppet in an abandoned house overnight. It was far more likely I was missing something, or being made to miss something.

While they weren't easy to acquire, I knew from Hayate that Konoha occasionally employed jutsu-shiki that could project illusions It wasn't too much of a stretch for a rogue nin to have stolen some before she defected, and it certainly wouldn't do any harm to test the hypothesis. I simply dragged my hand across the wall as I walked from room to room, checking for any hidden passages.

Aha!

I pulled open the disguised door, revealing a descending staircase. A vaguely flowery smell wafted toward me as I braved the depths—it reminded me of Jun.

Nonya, my crooked companion, made himself scarce soon after confirming the proof of my accusations. I was left to silently stew on the living room couch.

A thick tome rested in my hands, its weight a reassuring anchor in the turbulent storm of emotions blowing through my mind. What I'd found in that basement was too horrific to describe—bad enough to make me seriously consider if there was a way to cancel a shadow clone without transferring my memories.

Satoya, I really hope you don't throw up—I would have done so myself if I had the stomach for it.

Still, if the book I acquired was as valuable as I assumed, it may have been worth the trauma. Less of an instructional work than a long series of bundled research notes, it detailed the beginnings of Sasori's contemptible work on human puppetry, and everything Hiromi had elaborated on since her defection.

Putting this information to good use might give meaning to otherwise meaningless sacrifices. I stored the book in my empty paper seal and left the accursed house, finally making my way back to our hotel.

I hoped that the smell of blood would disappear once I was dispelled.

My team and I were underway to set the stall up for tonight's festival continuation, when I was impacted by the inexplicable urge to brace myself. I immediately set down the crates, just in time for the remainder of Satwoya's memories to come crashing in. My knees gave in and I broke out in a cold sweat.

My clone had done his best to fortify his mind before assaulting me with such dreadful imagery, so it wasn't as bad as it could have been. Even so, it took a good half minute of concentrated effort before I got my heart back under control.

"Satoya, what's wrong?" Hayate asked, steadying me with a hand on my shoulder. "Is it the poison?"

Akuma and Yuu seemed worried too. I must have looked a lot worse than I felt. "I'm fine, sensei. I think I might have overdone it a bit, carrying two crates at once. My heart started racing out of nowhere."

Hayate patted my back for a moment before pulling me back to my feet. It seemed that—at least for now—my strange behaviour wouldn't be questioned. We carried on with our work.

Since our client's personal errands were finished by the second evening, the only task us kids had to take care of after rebuilding his stall was to stand around and attract customers.

Yeah, you guessed it, that task was left solely up to me. Usually we'd have a rotation—as was the case last night—but Hayate decided that all my previously listed punishments weren't enough. Since I'd 'enjoyed myself all day yesterday' I got to take a triple shift.

What a bunch of baloney. If it was truly about that, then there was no reason to force me into the role on day three as well. I must have done too good of a job attracting customers. Either that, or Hayate was playing matchmaker with Akuma and Yuu who basically spent half our stay in Yao going on dates.

I didn't even get to fulfil the anime trope of spying on them!

At least Tsuruhide handed me some pocket money for my hard work while Hayate wasn't looking—small victories. I sorely needed a far more substantial cash infusion if I wanted to keep food on my plate and, more importantly, keep my dreams of rediscovering the flying thunder god alive.

Maybe I could start a multi-level-marketing scam, or perhaps I could perform some copyright infringement and recreate popular media from Earth. Publishing a book or manga could be a pretty decent idea too, if Jiraiya was anything to go by. Then again, I wasn't a good enough writer to capitalise on a good premise.

Eh, I can workshop it.

Our stay in Yao ended with little fanfare. The festival stall was taken apart, and excess goods loaded back into our client's cart alongside Himori's human puppet—I had no idea how Hayate convinced Tsuruhide to transport that.

The way back was kind of like the way there, except even less interesting since we'd already seen the sights. After using up my remaining sheets of chakra paper to reconstruct the barrier array I'd brought with me—I had to draw everything from memory since the original burnt out—the only remaining form of entertainment was watching my two friends' not-so-subtle flirting.

Somehow they still refused to openly admit that anything was going on between them. Until one fateful night in a small roadside inn, when I was forced to share a bed with Yuu because the rooms were almost fully booked.

"Psst, Satoya. Are you awake?"

Ugh, lemme sleep. "Yeah. Why are you whispering?"

"I don't want Akuma to overhear us," he replied, rolling onto his side to face me. "Kindly keep your voice down as well."

"A whisper is more easily picked up by human ears than just talking quietly," I advised, scooting away from him to the bed's edge. "Anyway, if this is about Akuma, don't worry. I already know you like her."

Even Akuma must have started suspecting the feelings were more than platonic.

Who am I kidding? This is an anime universe, she's denser than tungsten.

"I know you know. That is why I wish to hear your advice," he continued, adjusting his tone to match mine, "I do not know how to confess without scaring her away."

I failed to hold back my snort, and Yuu shoved a pillow in my face. "This is not funny!" he whisper-shouted, "I sincerely need help. Whenever I try to act more boldly, she either closes herself off or becomes aggressive."

I returned his pillow and stretched like a smugly sprawled cat. "You must be truly desperate to ask me for help."

Yuu jabbed me in the side with his finger.

"Hey, don't do that," I said, poking him back. "What makes you think I have any idea how you should act?"

His face scrunched up, and it looked like he was in physical pain when he uttered, "Because, despite your occasional fits of lunacy, your outside perspective may reveal options that I have not considered."

Wow. Such a heartfelt compliment deserved a reward. "Akuma is a fictional character and her author couldn't come up with a better character archetype. I believe your romantic developments are doomed to remain in a perpetual state of unresolved sexual tension."

Yuu glowered. "You must find yourself astoundingly hilarious."

"I try my best," I replied, "but let's be honest, I'm the last person you should be asking. I'm such a poor judge of character I nearly got myself killed a few days ago."

Yuu's heated expression evaporated and he sullenly rolled onto his back, facing the ceiling instead of me.

Now I feel bad. "I think she acts standoffish and shies away from intimacy because, in her mind, showing that kind of vulnerability makes her look weak."

Yuu seemed sceptical. "Why would she appear weak?"

"I don't know, it's probably not rational," I replied. "The first day I met her, she loudly declared she'd prove her dad wrong and become a kickass kunoichi. I guess her self-imposed burden of excellence just doesn't allow her to rely on someone else."

"How am I meant to express my affections, then?"

I shrugged. "You'll need to figure that out for yourself."

Yuu silently pondered my words for a while, and just when I was starting to fall asleep he said, "Do you hide from your own feelings in the same way?"

I chuckled. "Nope, I just like older women."

"What?"

"Good night, Yuu."

"You can't just—"

"I can. Go to sleep."

"But—"

I folded my pillow around my head to drown out his voice. "~Good night.~"

The last few days of walking were the worst part of our travels. The insights I'd gained from my conversation with Yuu had shifted genre from comedy to tragedy, and I could hardly stand to watch his struggles without suffering alongside him. It was bad enough that I'd even resolved to seek out Ino and beg for her help resolving this romantic subplot the moment we set foot in Konoha.

"Where are you going, Satoya?" Hayate asked. "Don't forget we need to give our report and discuss your punishment with the Hokage."

I didn't forget, I just hoped I'd get the evening off after travelling nine days. My head slumped. "Yes, sensei."

We left Tsuruhide at the gate and made our way to the mission office. It was a lot emptier in the evening, with only a few clerks around to handle returnees. Hayate walked up to one of them, a stocky man with deep circles under his eyes, and lightly rapped his knuckles against the desk.

The man looked up from the document he was working on. "Hayate-san!" He jolted upright. "Lord Third has been awaiting your return. There is a matter of grave—" The clerk's gaze flicked to our team and the wrapped puppet strapped to Hayate's back—"... importance to discuss."

Hayate cleared his throat to disguise a chuckle, "Good evening, Enji-san. I was about to ask to meet him myself."

The man nodded and sped out of the room. One of his colleagues who'd overheard the conversation huffed in amusement and offered us a place to sit since 'that fool forgot his manners'. My friends gladly took up the offer while I checked out various bits and bobs strewn about the room.

Oh sweet! I didn't know they had Newton's cradles here too. Do they still have the same name? "Hayate-sensei, do you—"

The door was pulled open and Hiruzen Sarutobi entered the room. It was the first time in years that I saw him without his Hokage robes, which would have been amusing if not for his authoritative presence.

"Hayate-san, come to my office," he commanded. "Your students shall remain here to give their report in the meantime, but I wish to speak to them later as well." The Hokage left as suddenly as he came, with Hayate following close behind—puppet included.

My friends and I stayed back as commanded, handing over our written report—compiled during the return trip—and giving Enji a verbal summary of its contents and our respective experiences. Once we got to my personal detour he looked like he wanted to sink into the floor.

Yeah… in retrospect I really acted like an idiot.

If the puppeteer hadn't aimed to keep my body in pristine condition, she could have killed me at pretty much any point. Even then, I allowed myself to get poisoned and only survived because she was cautious enough to be carrying antivenom.

When we finished, the clerk let out a bone-weary sigh. "I'm afraid this is above my paygrade. The Hokage will want to hear it personally as well."

I wanted to groan in annoyance, but held myself back. There was a far more pressing matter on my mind. I pointed at the Newton's cradle I'd looked at earlier. "Enji-san, what are those metal balls on strings called?"

He gave me a dead-eyed stare. "Kid, I have work to do."

That was fine, I could just ask his colleague—she left. Frick—I could just ask Akuma and Yuu. "Do you guys know what this thing is called?"

"Metal marbles on string?" Akuma guessed, "I dunno what it's even for."

I made big eyes at Yuu who held up his hand in front of my face. "I haven't the faintest idea. My father may be a merchant, but we do not deal with trivial knick knacks such as this."

"I'll have you know this is far more than some trivial knick knack," I replied, walking up to the object in question. "Behold the mystical power of physics!"

Akuma and Yuu tensed with anticipation as I pulled one of the metal marbles sideways and let it drop. The room was filled by rhythmic clicks. They were so disappointed that black vertical lines manifested behind them as they judgmentally stared at me.

"{Tche, kids these days have no taste}," I grumped. "Do you have any better suggestions on what to do?"

"Preferably something quiet," Enji chimed in.

I blushed. "Right…"

We wound up playing an illusory game of snakes and ladders in the hallway outside the mission office—tabletop simulator no jutsu coming in clutch once again! Hayate returned just in time to witness Akuma trying to throttle me.

He cleared his throat, "Do I even want to know?"

Akuma jabbed a finger in my direction. "He cheated!"

"Did you really think I'd be running a physics sim for a board game?" I said, hiding behind the safety of my teacher.

Hayate massaged his forehead. "Children, please. We're about to meet the Hokage."

We meekly tugged our clothes back in place to look halfway presentable and headed to Hiruzen's office. The man looked a bit more at ease than when he'd entered the room earlier, which I suspected was due to the pipe he was now smoking.

"Welcome, team five. I have a few things to impart, but I will keep them brief," he said, giving me a pointed look. "A bit over a month from now, Konoha will be hosting the chunin exam. This is a golden opportunity to show our clients what our newest generation of ninja is capable of. Thus, in order for you all to give a strong showing, I have planned to instate a cross-team training period."

Was this canon, or a result of my message? I didn't recall any arcs like this, but it could have also been an off-screen thing.

"Why did you inform us personally, Hokage-sama?" Yuu asked. "Hayate-sensei could have told us tomorrow."

"I must ask you in person, as I wish to know whether you all plan to take part in the exams at all, before making the decision to include you in the training," he reasoned. "While they may be safer here in Konoha than someplace else, the chunin exams are not without danger. I will not include you unless you feel you are ready."

"I believe you are all capable enough to take part," Hayate added, "and should you fail this will nonetheless be a valuable learning opportunity."

"I will take part," I immediately declared. There was no way I'd leave Naruto to face that debacle on his own, and the extra training with other teams was a nice cherry on top.

Akuma stepped up next, "Of course I'll take part. Once I'm chunin I won't need to do as many D-ranks."

"I too, shall join my team in these efforts," Yuu said last.

I knew I could count on you guys.

Hiruzen nodded. "Good. There will be an assembly of teams on training ground 11, 9:00 sharp," he said. "With that settled, there is one other thing to address. You may hear rumours about the trouble team 7 went through. Although their sensei is currently indisposed, I assure you that your friends are whole and healthy."

His words froze the blood in my veins. "Kakashi is hurt? What happened?"

Keep calm. Breathe in, breathe out.

I wrested back control from my pant-shitting lizard brain in time to hear Hiruzen's response. "Perhaps you should ask Naruto yourself. He was very insistent to meet you when he returned to Konoha last week."

"Yes, Hokage-sama," I said, turning to leave right away.

Hayate held me back. "We still have a punishment to discuss. Naruto can wait a few minutes more." He then addressed Akuma and Yuu. "You both may leave. I already gave a mission report."

I shot my friends a pleading look, but there was nothing they could do. Akuma patted my shoulder as she passed. "We'll go find Naruto for you in case he isn't home."

My worry eased the tiniest bit. "Thank you."

"No biggie. I'll see ya later," she responded, exiting the office with Yuu.

I faced Hiruzen once again. The wistful smile tugging at his lips disappeared as soon as the doors closed. "From the top, please tell me everything you experienced during the incident with Hiromi Hasumi."

I gave him a rundown of my interactions with Jun, specifically mentioning the missing nin's expertise in cloaking her chakra and how I was more easily able to sense the strings when faced with Jun's backside—a detail I'd noted when mentally retreading my experiences on the way back to Konoha.

"You have a most impressive knack for getting yourself into trouble, dear boy," Hiruzen lamented minutes later. "I see it was too optimistic of me to hope that a soft handed approach sufficed to teach you better."

"I only risked myself because I thought an innocent life was at stake," I argued. "I recognize getting tricked is my own fault, but my actions were not motivated by self-interest."

Hiruzen muttered something about frog children under his breath, shaking his head. "I am afraid I nevertheless agree with Hayate's assessment. You will be punished for your behaviour with two weeks of unpaid remedial duty, assisting academy teachers and archivists with their work. Report to the mission office tomorrow at three in the afternoon."

He raised a finger before I could protest. "I do not wish to rob you of your chance to participate in the cross-team training. You may send a clone to handle the paperwork in your place. However, this does not mean you can perform your duties half-heartedly. Is that clear?"

Though it still cut into my study time, that was more lenient than I expected. "I will graciously accept your decree, Hokage-sama," I replied with a bow. "Am I excused?"

"Yes, you may leave."

Naruto's apartment was empty when I got home, and neither Akuma nor Yuu were anywhere to be seen. I sent out a squad of clones to go look for them as soon as I removed my travel gear. Five minutes of obsessively watching my wall-mounted clock later, one of them sensed Naruto at the Inuzuka compound.

I ran out of the house, and on the way there a different clone pinged that he'd met Akuma and Yuu at Sakura's house, but Sakura wasn't there. I informed them all that I was on my way and they could dispel. When I stopped my mad dash in front of Kiba's house, clone five was waiting for me outside.

He held out a bottle of water. "Figured you might want a drink before heading in."

"Thanks…" I said before greedily gulping down.

Sagoya wrenched the bottle from my hand, "Slow down. Naruto's fine, and they're all having a good time. You shouldn't storm in like a madman and ruin the mood."

All? Only now did I notice the other signatures—Kiba, Shino, Sakura, even Sasuke.

My clone tussled my hair. "Chin up, you'll be fine." He poofed away.

Right, deep breaths, small sips. You got this, Satoya. If Naruto was having fun in there then the mission couldn't have gone too terribly. Maybe his kickstarted talk no jutsu averted the plot entirely? Yeah right. Kakashi was injured, so unless they finished the mission while he was chakra exhausted—Stop!

Naruto is right here, I can just ask him.

I gathered my courage and knocked on the front door. Kiba's mom, Tsume, immediately yanked it open. Her sharp eyes sized me up like a succulent piece of meat. I calmly held her gaze, having known she was waiting for me since I sensed her on the other side. Plus the apron she was wearing—it had a chibi puppy patch sewn on—did a lot to soften the first impression.

"Good evening, I am here to see my friends," I said with a pleasant smile.

She returned a toothy grin that showed off her pointed canines. "Come in, there's plenty of food." She stepped out of the doorway and faced the corridor, shouting "Kiba, another one of your friends is here!"

Tsume didn't wait for her son to greet me, pushing me along toward the genin group gathering. Kiba met us halfway. "Eyy Satoya, I didn't know you were back in Konoha, you have perfect timing!" Akamaru yipped in agreement from the perch on Kiba's head.

"Timing for what?"

My question answered itself as soon as we entered earshot of Naruto's argument. "Yeah, Sakura's right! There's no way insects that big exist; their spirit holes don't work well enough."

"Spiracles, Naruto," Shino corrected, "and I guarantee there is a way. How, you ask? My kikaichu besieged one during night watch."

"And I guarantee that story is made up. C'mon Sasuke, you agree too, right?"

Sasuke just grunted in annoyance and didn't vocalise a reply.

Kiba spoke up as we entered the room, "I got our tiebreaker vote!"

The others were seated around a relatively small dining table with big pots of curry and rice in the middle next to an empty pitcher. The four genin looked up at me expectantly, with Naruto's eyes gaining an especially intense gleam.

"Uhm, from the tidbits I heard, I'll vote for Shino's side? Konoha's forest of death has huge centipedes too."

"Hah! I knew I could count on you, Satoya," Kiba said, clapping my back.

Sasuke who'd been busy stuffing his face dropped his spoon and piped up, "On second thought, I think Naruto is right."

Kiba's jaw dropped comically low, while Sasuke gave a wry smile.

Naruto glared at him. "You're keeping the votes tied on purpose!"

Sasuke shrugged and spooned more curry into his mouth—it smells heavenly. My stomach growled.

Kiba from his stupor. "Oh, right. Food. Plates are in the cupboard," he said, pointing it out with his hand. He then took a seat at the head of the table next to Shino and Sasuke, leaving the opposite end between Sakura and Naruto open for me.

As soon as I sat down I ladled out a big portion for myself, but Naruto held my hand in place to stop me from pouring the full serving.

"Satoya, I need to talk to you later," he said severely, "don't kill yourself with spice."

Only then did I notice his unusually untouched plate of food. "I guess I can just grab seconds…"

Naruto let out a breath of relief—surely it couldn't be that bad. Then again, Shino was taking only small, measured bites while Sakura looked legitimately scared of eating any more. Though now that I took a closer look, maybe she was having trouble eating because of the bandages on her hands?

I took a small first bite of food and hummed in appreciation.

What a bunch of pansies.

I shoved more food in my mouth, only now realising how hungry I was.

Why is Sasuke staring at me with his—wait, why does he have three tomoe?

Then the heat kicked in. I howled in pain as the intense burn travelled up my throat and into my mouth, spewing a torrent of flame into the air.

"Water!" I reached for the pitcher—empty. "{Fuck!}"

I leapt for the kitchen sink and doused my burning mouth under a stream of cooling table erupted into laughter, with even Sasuke and Shino joining in.

"You're laughing. My mouth just caught literal fire and you're laughing?"

"You gotta eat it with rice, dude," Kiba said, wiping a tear from his eye.

You little shits will be the death of me.

Aside from its explosive start, dinner went well. It was nice seeing my friends again, and the lingering worry about Naruto's mission mishap mostly dissipated throughout the evening. However, it became apparent I'd merely been lulled into a false sense of security when we got home and Naruto locked the door behind me.

His chakra vibrated with nervous energy. "Satoya… do you know the future?"

My eyebrows practically lifted off my face. Did I talk in my sleep or something? No matter, I just had to stay calm and deny everything.

I wore a bewildered smile. "Why would you think that?"

Naruto narrowed his eyes. "You do, don't you?"

I lounged on my couch and patted the spot beside me, giving him a pitying look. "Is this because of your mission?"

He walked up but did not take a seat, staring down at me from above. "I'm not an idiot, ya know? You said I should 'pay attention to people's hearts'. You told me about a pretty girl that wasn't an enemy."

I kept my cool, rubbing my chin as though deep in thought. "That advice could just be a general statement. Go for diplomacy before violence et cetera."

"It's obvious you're lying when you dodge accusations like that," he said. "Please tell me what you know. I swear I won't tell anyone else if you don't want me to."

Ugh, stupid childhood friend experience.

I crossed my arms. "I do not know the—"

"Sakura almost died, and Kakashi is crippled because of me," he interrupted. "If I hadn't held him back from hurting Seirin—if I hadn't followed your advice, then…" Naruto's eyes lost their lustre and he hung his head, finally sitting beside me. "Please don't lie to me."

Okay what in the flying fuck? "Crippled? Who the hell is Seirin?" I tugged at his sleeve to make him look at me. "What happened out there?"

His voice was a whisper. "You really don't know anything."

"No, Naruto I—{shit, how do I}—" I got to my feet and paced around, groaning in frustration as I ran my hand through my hair. "You gotta tell me what happened. Who is Seirin?"

"She's the girl!" he droned. "The one you—well, the one I thought you told me about, but I guess I was just using your advice as an excuse."

"What did she look like? Did she have black smooth hair? Throw ice needles?"

"You mean Haku?" Naruto jolted up. "So you do know something. Did gramps tell you?"

"No, I just—" Am I really doing this? "{I do know the future}."

He stared at me with his mouth agape. I could hardly believe I just said that myself. It felt like the floor dropped out under me and I was in a full blown freefall.

Naruto tilted his head. "Don't say that just to make me feel better."

"I'm not, I swear. I really do… sort of know the future, but apparently things didn't go how I thought they would." I leaned on my dining table to balance myself. "Here's what I expected: You escort Tazuna, beat the demon brothers, fight Zabuza, Kakashi gets chakra exhausted, you fight him again a week later, Haku dies, Zabuza dies, the bridge is completed, you come back."

Naruto opened his mouth, hesitated for a bit, and then spoke, "What about Seirin?"

"I don't know who the fuck that is," I said, throwing up my hands. "She wasn't supposed to exist. I can't tell you how I know that, but I just do, okay?"

"Why can't you tell me? Will I explode? Will the Kyuubi burst out of me and eat us both?"

"No. It's just…" I trailed off and Naruto gave me a certified grandma(™) glare. I couldn't resist responding with, "{You dare use my own spells against me, Pot—"

"This isn't the time for jokes!"

"Sorry, humour's just my—I'm deflecting again, sorry. I'm not telling you the whole truth because some things are better left unknown."

"Oh, and you're such a good judge of that," Naruto retorted venomously.

I grimaced. "Ouch, you really aren't pulling your punches." I tapped my foot on the floor, measuring my next words. "This may be hard to believe, but I'm actually from a different universe entirely and this is my second life."

Naruto furrowed his brow. "What's that got to do with knowing the future?"

"The place I used to live in had very advanced technology. Part of it involved looking into other universes and—"

Satoya, stop! Naruto is your best friend. He deserves better than getting fed some elaborate tale.

I took a long breath. "And I was about to lie to you. Yes, my old world was more advanced than this one, but only by about 4o years or so. In all honesty, the reason I know your future is… because you were the titular character of a popular manga franchise."

Naruto's face flashed between bewilderment, doubt, amusement, and sheer existential horror before finally settling on grim determination. "You're really not messing with me, are you?"

I shook my head. "I am one hundred percent serious."

"Does that mean I'm famous?"

I laughed on instinct. "That's your takeaway?"

"You just said I'm a manga protago—that's why you mentioned protagonist powers before!"

"You remember that?"

He ignored my question. "Didya know about the Kyuubi too? Do you also know stuff like who I get married to? Do I become Hokage!?"

"Naruto…"

"Doesn't this make you an old man? Why aren't you wiser? How old were you in your last life anyhow? How'd you—"

"Naruto!" I snapped, making him finally pause his stream of inquiries. "Before we get into all of that, I want to hear what happened on your mission. I can respond to your questions afterwards."

He processed my words and gave a meek nod. "If you wanna hear the full thing, we gotta get Sakura and Sasuke for it, Kakashi too."

Multiple points of view couldn't hurt, I supposed. "Think they'll agree to that?" It was already pretty late.

Naruto waved off my concern. "Sure they would. We wanted to go visit sensei anyway," he explained. "They'll totally wanna hear about your future knowledge too."

That was a horrible idea. If Sasuke were to find out that I knew about the massacre, who knows what he'd do. "Admittedly, I should have been more honest with you. But I don't trust anyone else to keep this secret. You know how easily your status as Jinchuuriki spread. Now imagine if my knowledge landed in the wrong hands—I'd be locked away and interrogated, or worse."

Naruto didn't look convinced. Nevertheless, he responded, "Okay, fine. I won't tell anyone unless you think it's safe. I still think it's better for them to join the mission report."

"Okay, fine. But if you say anything about what I told you then I swear I'll pretend you've gone insane."

A.N. #2 :

I figured I should probably respond to The Broken1 to at least mention that no, Satoya won't become a puppet master. That doesn't mean he won't try and nab useful information from what he finds.

Also, no, I won't be doing any 'real' romance with him, at best there might be some in the epilogue, when everyone is actually an adult and not 12-15 years old.