AN: So I re-uploaded the previous chapter, I've had some conflicting information about how long the detox process can take so I altered some of the descriptions of the the timing in the story. Anyways, thank you so much for the encouraging reviews, a special shoutout to Alycat13 for her help/suggestions! As a birthday present to myself, I spent the afternoon in a small bookshop/café, listening to music and writing. It was perfect. And it allowed me to finish the next chapter! Sorry if it feels a tad repetitive, but I think it is important for Esme to get caught up on everything, even if Carlisle still has some more things to share with her...*cough* Edward's abysmal handling of his family leaving Forks *cough*
Happy reading!
Carlisle's POV
As the afternoon wore on, we could hear Bella toss and turn. Despite our efforts to try and get her to eat or drink something, she had only managed to swallow a few bites of food or sips of water. But she had been unable to keep anything down. I was beginning to worry about her becoming dehydrated, mentally preparing for the moment that I would have to convince her to let me start giving her fluids. When we weren't checking on Bella, Esme spent much of her time pacing the main floor of the house while I rushed to study some final texts on opioid detoxification. For most of my medical career I had either sought out jobs in emergency rooms or on the operating block, where my enhanced senses could serve me best. So I had never worked in a setting that focused on patients going through long term recovery. I was determined to absorb as much information as I could, and as quickly as I could, as we plunged into caring for Bella.
"Perhaps I should go check on her again. Maybe if I put some lemon in her water she will want to drink a little more? Hmm, I also read that ginger can be soothing. Or maybe I could read to her, try and distract her." Esme's voice was hopeful. But I knew there was very little that would bring Bella comfort right now. Though I would not keep her from trying.
"It can't hurt to try, love." I replied. But instead of moving towards the stairs or the kitchen as I'd expected her to, she remained standing behind the sofa where I sat. Turning slightly, I glanced up at her. She watched me, thoughtful.
"How long have you known, Carlisle?" Esme's voice was not angry, but I could hear the slight pang of betrayal that colored her words. An almost invisible crease appeared between her eyes.
I quietly closed the textbook and placed it on the coffee table. Standing up and reaching for Esme, I gently led her over to me and motioned for her to join me on the couch. She settled in next to me and waited for me to respond.
"Just over two weeks."
Her eyebrows shot up but she didn't say anything.
"I promised her, Esme. I promised I wouldn't tell anyone that I'd seen her. It's the only thing that would have kept me from telling you what had happened," I lifted one of my hands and tucked a loose strand of her hair behind her ear, "Forgive me." My hand came to rest on her cheek as I stared into her bronze-colored eyes, imploring her to understand how difficult it had been for me to keep something so important from her.
"Esme?" A sudden voice croaked out from upstairs. She stood up immediately but then bent down and kissed me on the top of my head.
"It's alright, Carlisle. I forgive you. I am glad she had you to place her trust in." A whisper of air was the only indication that she had dashed upstairs to see what Bella needed. From downstairs I was able to hear Bella's weakened voice. I frowned when I heard the way her teeth chattered as she spoke.
"D-d-do you have another blank-k-ket?"
"Of course, dear." The hallway closet opened and closed. Silent steps back to Bella's room. A quiet whoosh of air as she raised the blanket up and let it float back down on top of the comforter.
"Anything else, Bella?"
"N-n-no thanks Esme."
"Okay, we will be right downstairs if you need anything. Try and get some rest."
Half a second later she was back at my side, picking up the conversation where we had left off.
"What happened? How did she end up here today?"
My lips turned down in a frown. The episode at Will's house this morning remained vivid in my mind. And while there was still much I didn't know about the situation, it was obvious that Bella had likely lived through something that paralleled Esme's story in at least one major way. She immediately sensed my reluctance.
"Carlisle, you can tell me. I can handle it." Her chin lifted a fraction of an inch, daring me to doubt her strength. Impossible, when I had known since the day I'd met her that her character contained more courage than I could ever hope to have.
"After she came back from the overdose, I went to go check on her. She was not particularly happy to see me. Before she left her hospital room that first day, she received a message on her phone. I don't know what it said but her entire demeanor changed in an instant. She looked almost terrified. I asked if everything was ok but she brushed off my concerns. When I insisted a little more she ended up admitting that she needed some money."
"And you gave it to her." She stated it as a fact, her sad smile knowing.
Nodding, I answered, "I gave her the amount she asked for and then some, hoping to provide some degree of stability, if even for a short period of time. Then I asked her to promise me that if she needed anything else, or was ever in any kind of trouble, that she would come find me. She nodded her agreement and made to leave. But only before asking me to make my own promise, and assure her that I would not tell any of you that I had seen her."
Esme's lips turned down in a worried frown as she asked the next question, "And she came back?"
I thought back to those two weeks and how I had anxiously waited for any sign of Bella or word that she had come to the hospital to find me. How I had pulled away from Esme and the others whenever I was at home, worried about them becoming suspicious. The relief of finally giving her clarity for why I had acted that way was overwhelming.
"Not right away. For the next two weeks I half hoped she would return and half hoped she wouldn't, if that meant everything was going okay. But I was so nervous. My instincts told me that just because she wasn't coming to see me that didn't necessarily mean she was safe. But I had no way to know where she was or who she was with. For all I knew she had left the city entirely. And then, last night, I arrived early for my shift. And she was waiting for me. She looked exhausted. The first things I noticed were bruises on her wrist and near her collarbone."
"I thought I caught a glimpse of some bruising when I was helping Bella earlier," she confirmed, her voice backed by a hint of iciness. Out of instinct, her eyes darkened by a shade.
I stared down at my own hands, "They were in the shape of fingerprints. It was obvious someone had gripped her hard enough to leave a mark. But she would not tell me more."
Esme looked once more as though she would cry. Then a flicker of a shadow crossed her features, "Did you figure out who it was?"
Hesitating, watching to see how she reacted, I admitted, "I did."
"What happened, Carlisle?"
Glancing upstairs in the direction of Bella's room, I took a deep breath and continued. "I was supposed to meet up with her this morning, and bring her all of the false papers Jasper had made up for her two years ago-"
"She asked for a fake name?" She pulled back slightly, surprised by the new information. And without a doubt comparing it to her own escape nearly a century before, how she had also chosen a new name to free herself from a grim situation.
"Yes, that is why she came to the hospital last night, to ask me if I could get her a fake ID. When I told her that I already had everything she needed and explained why, she had a panic attack. And then I made a terrible mistake. I should have remained by her side, but instead I stepped out for mere seconds to fetch her a glass of water. When I returned, she had taken another dose of the pills. I couldn't leave her like that so I convinced her to go for a drive. She slept as I drove around all evening, heading towards the coast. Then late last night, when we got back to town, she asked me to drop her off at a park, refusing to tell me where she was staying. But as soon as she took off down the dark street I got out and quietly followed behind. I wasn't going to just leave her like that, I had to know that she was safe."
"But she wasn't?" Interjected Esme.
"I couldn't be sure. She entered a home down the block and from outside I could hear that there was one other person inside, sleeping. It sounded like she took another pill, so I lingered nearby long enough to make sure that she was not suffering any adverse reactions. Then I dragged myself away in order to retrieve everything she had asked for. By ten this morning I was back in my car, waiting at the same park like we had planned."
Esme's lips turned down in sorrow, "Oh, Bella. What have we done?" She stood and began pacing the room again. "What did you mean, you were supposed to meet her? Did she not show up?"
"No. I waited for nearly half an hour. After sending a third message I finally received a response. A text saying she was on her way. But a few minutes later an agitated young man came striding up the sidewalk instead. I was sure that it was the same person I had heard sleeping inside when I followed Bella to her house last night. So when he finally scowled and went back the way he came I made up my mind to follow him. Giving him a couple minutes head start in order to avoid detection, I drove the car up a different street and parked around the corner. I couldn't move as quickly as I would have liked, there were too many people outside-" I was unsure why I felt the need to justify why I had not gotten there in time to stop the altercation. It was becoming clear that I was more guilt-ridden than I had realized.
Filing away the realization for later, I continued on, "But then I managed to reach the back door. It was then that she let out a scream." Esme let out a gasp, heartbroken.
"What did you do, Carlisle?"
"I forced my way into the house," I could feel my own chest tightening in grief as I recalled that moment, "It was awful, Esme. To see the way he grabbed her." I stopped, glancing up to check on her reaction. Her eyes fluttered shut, her expression knowing. She became very still.
"Esme, I'm sorry, forgive me." I stood and joined her by the window, pulling her gently against my chest.
"It's alright, Carlisle. It was a long time ago. It's more that, well, I just- I hate the feeling that all of this could have been avoided if we had never left. Or if we had gone back to check on her. I can't help but feel largely responsible for what she has been put through," she choked out.
Before I could tell her that I had been struggling with the same thoughts, we heard Bella groan upstairs, the noise evolving into a pained cry. Both of us turned towards the sound and raced up to her room. I knocked on her door, "Bella?" She didn't reply, so I beckoned to Esme to open the door and peek inside. She did so but soon opened the door all the way, nodding for me to come with.
Bella was still in bed, but she had kicked all the blankets to the foot of the bed where they lay in a crumpled mass. Her eyes were closed, wincing. She was lying on her side, curled up, her hands clutching at her calves. Beads of sweat dampened the skin along her hairline. Tears streamed down her cheeks, each drop mixing with the perspiration that ran down her jaw. Even from the doorway I could see that her arms and legs were covered in goosebumps.
I immediately stepped to her bedside and inquired, "Bella? I'm right here, can you tell me what's wrong?"
Her eyes shot open and she glared at me. Speaking through clenched teeth she spoke, "My legs are killing me and I am burning up, Carlisle, isn't it obvious?"
Esme looked at me, surprised by Bella's sudden animosity towards me. But I took no offense by it, for there was a good chance we would experience several variations in her moods as the next few weeks unfolded.
Holding my hand out towards Bella, I asked, "May I?" She nodded her assent.
Placing my hand on her forehead I judged her to have a moderate fever. My main concern was how the sweating was affecting her dehydrated state. Esme had stepped into the bathroom and now appeared with a cool washcloth. She took my place at Bella's side and placed the cloth against her forehead, in a gentle motion she brushed back the strands of hair that stuck to her temples. Bella appeared to relax slightly.
"Bella?"
She was still crying, but the anger from mere seconds ago had dissipated. "Yeah?"
"If it's alright with you, I would like to give you some fluids. I'm worried you're becoming dehydrated," I explained.
Giving another groan she rolled on to her back, "Like an IV?"
"Yes, it is the easiest and quickest way to give you the hydration you need." I knew she hated needles, but considering she hadn't been able to keep anything down and was now perspiring profusely I needed to rapidly replenish her fluids. "You don't have to stay hooked up to it all of the time, only as long as it takes for the saline solution to replenish some of the nutrients and fluids you're missing. I think I will also add in something for the nausea."
Her eyes narrowed in mistrust, "Something for the nausea? What? I told you I don't want anything like what I was taking before. Clean break." Her tears fell more heavily as she groaned again. She closed her eyes, scrunching them up in pain, as she brought one arm up to cover them from our view. She mumbled over and over, clean break, clean break, clean break.
"I promise, Bella. It is a simple anti-nausea medication. Often prescribed for pregnant women with severe morning sickness or patients undergoing chemo. It's a non-addictive substance."
At first she didn't respond, but then her cries quieted and her eyes opened. But she stared at the ceiling with a blank expression, brown irises standing out against the faded pallor of her skin.
"Okay," she acquiesced. I stood slowly and made to leave. But as I reached the door she spoke again, her voice void of any emotion. "Sometimes I wonder if it would have just been better if Victoria had found me by now."
My hand froze, hovering above the door handle. The shock of her statement brought me to a standstill. But Esme's head was the one to whip in Bella's direction and draw in a sharp breath, "Victoria?"