Flashback Jared POV
3 Weeks Earlier: The night of the bonfire
Jared would never admit it out loud, but he was jealous of Embry Call.
He liked to keep his thoughts to himself as much as possible, even though that was virtually impossible with the others listening in. Being the Beta of the pack, it was nice to use some of those privileges to keep the others out of his head—mostly Paul—but Sam could still listen to his thoughts whether Jared liked it or not. So when he was human—which seemed to be less and less frequent with each passing day—he let his thoughts fall out as he worked his problems out the way he liked best: alone.
When Jared first phased, he could remember the pure terror he felt. He woke up in the middle of the night, shivering and soaked in sweat, unable to fall back asleep no matter how tired he is. The horror of looking down to see paws instead of hands and to hear a second voice in your head telling you what you were—a shapeshifter, a wolf, a protector—was enough for anyone to go crazy.
The first week of Embry's sporadic shapeshifting, his mother, Tiffany stayed up all night waiting for him to return from Uley's. But even as a new pup, Embry had a front-row seat to the shit show he started, and saw things through Sam's eyes that accidentally slipped through despite his control.
Sometimes things just slipped through, and seeing someone as strong willed as Tiffany Call in hysterics was enough of a shock for anyone, especially her son. Once Embry finally got control of himself and returned home—per Sam's order to calm his mother down—it didn't take long for Tiffany to promise to keep it a secret—anything for her only son. It was for the best, Jared supposed.
And Jared couldn't help himself—he was jealous of Embry. He had a safety net, a mother who loved him, and a pack of boys who could show him what to do. Jared had never really been close with him—none of them were close with each other before "fate" pulled them into this haphazard family—but duty forced him to be a mentor. Embry's presence would take some getting used to.
Jared snorted at the word. Family. Yeah, that was pushing it.
I don't want a family, he'd said days after he phased back into a human for the first time. He shook like a leaf, his muscles hurting so much that he could barely walk. He collapsed onto a ball on the Uley couch. Emily had given him a blanket and a warm bowl of soup.
It doesn't matter what you want, Sam replied sternly. You need one. That's that.
During the weeks leading up to Embry's phase, Sam told Jared and Paul to keep an eye on him.
How can you tell? Paul asked. Jared could have answered him, but felt like there was cotton in his mouth that kept the words from leaving his mouth.
It was something you couldn't describe. It was almost like a smell, or maybe it was a feeling. Like sweat, or a warm, slick anxiety that wafted off the person unlucky enough to be chosen next.
Sam didn't have to tell him that; being Beta, Jared was unfortunate enough to know first-hand. First with Paul, now with Embry.
While they kept an eye on him, Jared paid attention to Embry's friends, how loudly they laughed and talked to each other, how completely normal his life was. Why him, why him, why him?
As the changes began to slowly show themselves, a little at first and then more persistent. It was easy to miss to the human eye.
As much as Jared wanted to warn him what was coming, Sam wouldn't allow it, and what good would it do? Let him live in blissful ignorance for a little while longer before his entire world turns upside down.
And turn upside down it did.
Jared and Paul were patrolling on opposite sides of the reservation when it happened.
He would have preferred to be with Sam, but he had plans with Emily. Paul was still new—and continued to use it to his advantage, and Sam made excuses for him. Paul didn't just like his anger, he relished in it. It was dangerous to have him around, but Jared made sure to keep those thoughts to himself. He already had a few scars from the night Paul first phased, and he didn't like to think about what would happen if he really got on his bad side.
Not even an hour after sundown, a new voice ripped into their heads while on their patrol. It was violent—a shriek or a howl.
Paul swore and started barking madly at the intrusion, but Jared recognized it immediately.
Paul! Jared snapped, already bounding towards the Call's house. Paul, shut up! Get Sam!
What the fuck's happening? Paul whined. It feel like my fucking head's exploding—
Paul, shut the fuck up, and go get Sam—NOW.
For once, his rank provided its usefulness, and Paul snarled before running to get Sam, howling an alarm along the way.
The pain was excruciating. Embry's terror triggered Jared's memories about his own painful first phase. As Embry's bones crunched, Jared's bones ached in pity. As Embry's skull expanded, his pounded. As Embry's flesh tore open, his burned.
Jared's paws were a blur as he ran, already late when he reached the Call's. Tiffany stood crying as she stood on the edge of the forest. No Embry. Her shell-shocked face and shaky hands told him all he needed to know: she was a witness.
It was difficult to parse through Embry's mind and figure out where he was. His thoughts weren't communicating anything that could be deciphered into English—just feelings of pain, shock, anger, and fear. A lot of fear.
Embry? Jared called out tentatively. Embry, it's me, Jared Cameron. You're going to be okay.
There was no response. Embry was running wildly through the woods, tripping over his oversized paws. There was no coherent thought—just jumbled emotions. He likely didn't hear Jared at all.
When Embry tripped again, he crashed into a tree and began to roll downhill. Jared winced when he heard a bone snap and Embry roared again. Even though it would heal in no time, Embry didn't realize that yet. Jared turned towards the sounds of his cries and ran to him.
When he finally neared the wolf, Embry's new wolf body was twisted helplessly around, his eyes roving around wildly. Jared stopped a few yards away. A bone was sticking out from his back leg.
Embry, he thought, and this time he must have heard him, because he froze. Lying on his side, panting, Embry stared up at him with eyes so wide and so human, the whites showed. Embry, calm down. You're going to be just fine. It's me, Jared Cameron. You remember? From school?
What? Embry croaked out, half thought, half a bark. How is this possible—what's happening to me—why can I hear you? Are you going to kill me?! He whined as if trying to still speak through his mouth, his face pushed against the dirt.
Jared weighed whether or not he should phase back. Would it freak him out even more?
Phase? Phase? Embry echoed back, his panic rising.
Jared must have let that thought slip—damn it. He shook his head at himself. Embry, let me explain—
But Embry had already stopped writhing in the dirt and stood back up onto his shaky legs. He must have already healed from his injury. So much for slowing him down—
Before Jared could stop him, Embry was already running again. Gritting his sharp teeth together, he ran after him.
Stop following me! Embry called out, his pain subsiding into pure panic. Leave me alone! Jared wasn't sure which was worse for his headache—Embry's fear, or the fact that he had to fucking chase him down.
I'm not trying to! Jared snarled, his annoyance getting the best of him. He wished he was as calm as Sam, or hell, as assertive as Paul. Then maybe Embry would actually listen to him.
The thick forest floor made it difficult for the new pup to run between the trees, but he managed.
Embry took a sharp turn, and Jared almost skidded into a boulder. Fucking hell?! How is he running so fast? Great, now his mouth was open and his tongue lolled out. He was panting just like a fucking dog.
Aw, having trouble keeping up? Paul snickered.
Stay out of this, runt, Jared snarled. I thought you were getting Sam?
I am—can't I watch the show? If Paul was right in front of him, he would have punched him right in the face.
There's two? Embry's thoughts were quiet, confused. Jared ignored Paul and focused on the task at hand. He could smell the salty air—they were getting close to the beach. And if the smell of fire was recent, that meant there was a bonfire.
Taking advantage of Embry's hesitation, he picked up the pace. Maybe if Jared could steer him away from the beach, then they could get to the Community Center, where he could actually try to talk to him again before Sam got here.
Veering further to the right, Jared rounded so that Embry pushed further left. It worked—Embry caught his gaze with a growl before darting away. Both sets of paws pounded on the earth as they ran, and Jared's heart felt like it was going to pound out of his chest. Jesus, the guy just phased, and was already making Jared sweat.
Finally, the Community Center came into view. But either he realized Jared was trying to back him into a corner, or he didn't want anybody to see him, he cut to the right. He didn't notice how close Jared was, though, and he shouldered Embry's hip roughly, hearing a yelp as he toppled over. Embry skidded to a halt into a dense patch of greenery near the garbage bins, and whined. His breathing was labored, but not as badly as Jared's. Damn, the kid can run.
Hey—wait, please. Just listen to me, Jared implored.
Embry stared at him with wide eyes, his lips pulled back to show his teeth—in a grimace or a snarl, Jared couldn't decide. But he wasn't running away anymore, and that was good enough.
Jared hesitated, wondering if he should wait for Sam. Feeling it out, he realized Paul was absent. He must be talking to Sam now.
When Paul phased a few weeks ago, all Jared had to do was rough him up a bit and smack some sense into him. But with Embry, he knew that wouldn't be the case. Paul was a loose canon, and, from what Jared knew about him, Embry was a quiet, sensitive kid. He'd have to tread lightly.
Jared thought back to what Sam did when he phased for the first time. He was stern but understanding. And, to be fair, Jared had freaked out way more than Embry had.
He shook his head at himself internally. Can't think about that now…
I'm Jared, remember? I just look a little different. That didn't raise a laugh out of him. He went on. I'm still me. And you're still you. The same thing happened to us both. But it's nothing to be scared of. I freaked out, too, when it first happened, but I promise all of your questions have answers. I swear by it.
Embry whined, but cocked his head as he stared. He was listening. Good.
Jared hesitated again, waiting for Sam to join. Silence. Okay… Looks like he was still on his own.
Looking around, Jared caught sight of the garbage containers. The parking lot lights stopped just a few feet from them, but illuminated the bins like they were sent from a higher being. He could smell if anyone else was around, but didn't want to risk someone walking by or looking out of their window to see a massive wolf digging around the trash.
He took a step towards it, but Embry hunched over again, tense.
Hey, hey, wait, Embry, Jared said, backing slowly towards the garbage. I'm going to phase back so you'll see me. Okay? I'm going to go back to my human form so you'll see that you can trust me.
Trust! I don't trust you! Embry snarled.
Jared took a step back. You'll be able to phase back, too. Let me show you.
Jared hated phasing in front of the others. There was something so vulnerable about it—whether it was into a human or a wolf, it didn't matter. But if it could help Embry at all, then it was worth it, even to just buy some more time before Sam showed up. Fuck, where were they?
As Jared bent his head forward, his back arched, and already began to feel the tremors overcome him. His skin shivered uncontrollably, and out of the corner of his eye could see Embry start to whine. That was another thing he hated—being inside another person's head and hearing them as they phased. It was painful enough on your own without another person tuning in.
He gnashed his teeth together. When he saw his own trembling hands and dirty feet—Always double check that you still have ten fingers and ten toes, Sam liked to joke, always with an undertone of seriousness—he took a deep breath before standing on two shaking legs. It got faster each time they phased, but never easier. Never without pain.
He was naked, too, but thankfully Embry didn't care about that. Instead, he began squirming and whining, shaking his head. Jared didn't need to hear his thoughts to know what he was thinking: "Holy shit, he just phased into a human!" He would have laughed if it wouldn't have scared him more.
His whole body was on fire, but his nakedness in the cold air made him shiver. He lifted his hands up to show him, praying that Embry wouldn't freak out and attack him.
"You see? It's me, Jared," he croaked out, his voice sore. "I know you can understand me, so please don't run." When it looked like Embry was listening—or maybe in shock, who was to be sure—he went on. "I phased back and you can, too. I know you're scared, but help is on the way. Sam Uley is coming and he's going to explain what's happening to you."
At the mention of his name, Embry started whining. "I know, I know, it's really overwhelming right now. But Sam will be here soon and he'll teach you how to phase back into a human in no time. It only took me a couple days to figure it out. You'll be a human in no time, and—"
Suddenly a different sound escaped from Embry. Shuddering and stomping, Jared thought Embry was having a fit. He started licking his chest and arms furiously before Jared finally realized what Embry was trying to do.
Staggering a few steps forward, Jared reached out to him. "Wait—Embry, it's too soon—!"
Chunks of fur and skin were stuffed in Embry's mouth as he cried out in pain, his breath labored. Blood covered his muzzle and stained his teeth. Jared cringed as he watched him, Embry so confused and scared, tearing at his own skin, his whole body trembling. Blood ran out from his wounds, healing faster than the confused Embry could keep up. Jared felt a tremor in his own hands, watching him, already feeling his body begin to change back to stop Embry from mutilating himself. It was then that Embry fell down on his back, howling so loudly in pain that the entire reservation must have heard it.
Writhing on the forest floor, Jared's mouth hung open as Embry began to phase back—first his arms and legs, then his torso and head. When the last of his fur disappeared, all that was left was a skinny boy, naked and full of fear.
Holy shit...Did—did that just happen? Jared continued to stare down at him, his eyes wide. The tremors hadn't left his hands yet, and he was staring down at him as if he wasn't quite done phasing and still had a second head to grow.
"Embry…?" Jared said slowly, forcing himself to keep it together.
However, at the sound of his name, he sat up and looked at his hands then down at his body. His face was almost blue. His lips trembled, but no words came out.
Damn it, I am not prepared for this. But Jared shook his head, forcing himself to focus. No Sam, no Paul. It was up to him. Fuck.
"I'm going to grab some clothes for you okay?" he said softly. What else could he even do, besides pray that Embry wouldn't phase back, and worse, run off?
Jared stole a glance over his shoulder. No one was around, and the blinds in the surrounding houses were shut. But seeing a teen boy streaking would be way better than someone catching sight of a massive wolf rifling through the garbage, so he swallowed his pride and backed up slowly towards it. Reaching around, he snatched the gym bag hiding underneath the bin. It was risky to keep clothes down there—Jared recalled a morning when he had to change and found the bag missing—but he breathed a sigh of relief when he felt the straps.
At the sudden flurry of motion, Embry clambered onto his feet. He fell back on his backside before attempting to get back up again. He found a tree to lean against, and it was then that Jared could see the blood. Oh, Jesus. Embry…
There was a large wound on his chest. It was red and angry, pulsing as blood dripped out through the open skin. Blood smeared on Embry's mouth. Jared grit his teeth together at the sight. Damn—the strength of new pups was no joke.
Grabbing a towel, Jared didn't try to search for any bandages. It would heal up soon, and if Embry did get any infections, it would only hurt for about a day before it healed completely. Already, his flesh was bonding back together, stitching itself over the wound like an invisible needle. It steamed in the cold air, and he was sure it felt as painful as it looked.
Not wanting to risk him hurting himself again, he tossed the towel over to him, and it landed in a heavy lump in front of him. "You're bleeding," he said, trying to keep his voice level but it trembled slightly anyways.
Embry numbly reached for the towel, balling it against his chest. He flinched at the contact and began whimpering again. His hair was slick with sweat and pasted itself against his forehead and temples.
Stepping away from the fluorescent parking lot lights, Jared rifled through the bag again and found two pairs of shorts and two extra-large zip-up hoodies—the cheap ones that you buy from the dollar store. And no shoes. He refrained from rolling his eyes. See, that's what happens when you leave Paul in charge of restocking your clothing stashes.
Taking one of each, he tossed them over to Embry, who was now hugging the towel against his chest. He stared blankly at the items as if he'd never seen clothing before. Jared really, really didn't want to dress him—he especially didn't want to give Embry something to be embarrassed about later—but if he was as shell shocked as he looked, Jared might have to.
Jared pulled the shorts up his legs and tugged the hoodie on. That seemed to jog Embry's memory as he dropped the towel and thankfully began to pick the clothing up. His wound already stopped bleeding, but he had dark, angry streaks covering his chest and dried blood covered his skin and hands.
As he pulled it on, Embry peaked over his shoulder at the moon above the trees. It was the tiniest sliver, barely a smile cracking the black sky.
"It's, uh...not triggered by the moon," Jared explained. He took a tentative step forward. "It's triggered by your emotions. Specifically...your anger. Or your fear. If you feel upset, you can...phase."
"Phase?" he repeated, his voice hoarse.
"That's what we call it." Jared wasn't sure if it was the right time to tell him all of this. Wasn't this Sam's job? Well, he's not here, is he? He took a deep breath. "Come on, I'll take you to them."
But Embry didn't move towards him. Instead, he kept his eyes trained behind him, and Jared realized with a start what was on the other side of these woods. The beach. The bonfire.
"Hey, Embry," he tried calling out, but he was now ignored. Embry lifted his nose in the air, and Jared could smell it too—sea salt, sand, fire. People.
A lighting bolt of fear struck him right to his core.
Before Jared could make a move, Embry took haggard, slow steps towards the beach. Jared held back for a moment, but followed him at a safe distance. He was at a loss—what could he do, what could he say? He couldn't tackle him to the ground. If Jared upset him again and Embry phased, they were too close to the bonfire. They would get noticed.
Oh, shit. Shit, shit, shit. Sam's going to kill me. Why did this night have to go to shit so quickly? Jared didn't want to think about the repercussions if this went south. Would Jared not be Beta anymore? If Embry freaked out and phased in front of a group of their peers, would he then have to listen to Paul? Like hell that's going to happen.
But the closer they got to the bonfire, the more he began to sweat. Not only because of the risks of Embry being seen there, but at who might be there, waiting.
And Jared really, really didn't want to think about her. Not now.
God, please, don't let her be there.
Jared snapped his attention to the left when a group of voices rose about thirty feet away. He ducked down instinctively, but Embry kept walking. The group was too close for Jared to call out to him, and Jared could feel his heart beat in his ears.
Please stop, please stop, please turn around and hide—
But Embry placed one foot in front of the other, unaware of either Jared's burning gaze or the voices from behind.
The boys walked right past Jared without even noticing he was there, crouched like a total dickhead in the dark. But by the time they passed him, Embry was too far away to catch up to, unless Jared wanted to phase and drag his body—publicly—away from the beach. And when he heard Embry cross the treeline and step onto the sand, he knew it was too late.
"Fuuuuck, fuck, fuck," Jared hissed under his breath to no one. "Damn you, Embry!"
It was then that he heard yelling, but it wasn't coming from the beach. Confused, Jared turned around to see the group that passed him moments before were now running away, tripping over themselves and cursing into the night sky. Things like "what the hell is that—did you see that holy shit—what the hell is happening" clued him in on what might come next.
Jared smelled him before he saw him and had to keep himself from growling. On all fours, Paul leapt forward and stopped right in front of him, panting.
Jared looked over his shoulder, but seeing that all the kids had run back and were out of sight, it was safe to talk to him.
"Did you have to scare the shit out of them like that?" Jared snapped, his anger nearly boiling over. He balled his shaking hands into fists.
Paul did a mix of a wheeze and a cough, and Jared couldn't be sure, but it sounded like he was laughing at him. The prick.
"And I'm not phasing back with clothes on, so if you're here to tell me something, you can say it to my face."
With a grumble, Paul shuddered and phased quickly back into a human. It looked so easy for him, but then again, Paul hadn't had an easy life. The pain of phasing wasn't close to what happened inside a broken home. You pick up on things when you're forced together and have the unfortunate ability to read each other's minds.
"Who pissed in your cereal this morning," Paul snarled. Ah, okay, he wasn't laughing. He was definitely pissed. His whole body was soaked with sweat, his breathing was labored. Jared almost felt bad for him. Almost.
"Did you run all the way from Sam's?"
Paul rolled his head, cracking his neck and shoulders. "Yeah, dude, because you were apparently too busy playing Dr. Dolittle to phase back."
Fucking dick. "So, is Sam coming or not? Embry just walked right into a bonfire and he's probably freaking them all out. He sure as hell didn't look pretty."
Paul winced. "Yeah, I saw." He didn't elaborate; he didn't need to. "Sam's bringing his truck. As long as Embry doesn't phase in front of them, we should be good."
This time, Jared did roll his eyes. 'Good?' As if Embry's presence wouldn't be enough to spread gossip like a wildfire. "Yeah, good idea."
Paul shoved his shoulder hard enough for Jared to take a step back to keep from falling. "Hey, I don't need to hear shit from you, okay? You're lucky I got Sam's ass, or we'd all be fucked. Don't forget it."
Jared's lip curled and he fisted his hands again at his sides. Lifting his chin, he looked down at him from the tip of his nose. "Don't fucking touch me again, pup. I don't have time for this."
Paul's nostrils flared, but after a moment backed off at the warning. For now. No doubt, he'd want a proper fight, and at the rate this night was going, Jared would be geared up for one, too.
"I'm going to go down there and make sure it hasn't hit the fan," he went on. "You stay up here and blend in. No matter what happens, I don't want you down there barking in their faces. Shit's about to get weird."
Without a word in response, Paul violently shook his head back and forth and his body curled in on itself before he phased back into a wolf. His front paws nearly stomped on Jared's feet, and he sent a warning glare before trotting off deeper into the woods.
Jared glowered after him. Fucking. Prick!
He took a deep breath in and out to calm himself. One crazed wolf was bad enough, but two would definitely make it worse.
But just then, as if they spoke him into existence, Jared could hear Sam's truck pull into the small, densely packed parking lot. Relief washed over him but he shook his head at himself. He couldn't let his guard down, not yet.
Sam was already walking towards the beach by the time Jared walked out of the treeline. Emily sat in the driver's seat and watched them go with wide, concerned eyes. Falling in step with him as they walked down towards the beach, Jared's palms already began to sweat. With every step, he could feel a cord wrap around his stomach, tighter and tighter at the thought of what was waiting for them, and who was down there.
Whenever the Council mentioned Imprinting, Jared barely paid any attention. Imprinting was rare, after all—even Sam talked about it as little as possible. He never liked to talk about it. Jared privately speculated why, but after living in his head for months, he quickly realized he didn't have to talk about it. Sam lived it everyday, and for him, it was normal. When his thoughts weren't about the pack or bloodsuckers, they were consumed with Emily.
There was this thought among the Council that because Sam, their Alpha, had found his Imprint, then there'd be no need to worry about anyone else catching it. "Catching it"—like it was cooties, or the flu. Paul himself laughed so hard he nearly fell out of his seat when it was first explained to him—telling Sam that he was "whipped" and a "sucker" until Paul made the mistake of mentioning Leah Clearwater and Sam reminded him who the Alpha was. Neither of them dared to even think about her or the Imprint since, and for Jared, that was just fine by him.
But the thing that fucked Jared up so much was how woefully unprepared he was for the real thing.
When it happened, he wasn't even totally aware of what was happening, and could barely string together a coherent thought. He didn't have the words for the wave of emotions that crashed over him. The way his body seized when he saw her. All he knew was one second he was asking to borrow a pencil, and the next, he couldn't keep his eyes off a girl that he rarely gave a second thought to. If that wasn't some fucked up shit, he didn't know what was.
Later that day, when Jared came home to the Uley house after school, Sam was on patrol and Emily was in the kitchen cooking dinner. She was the last person he wanted to talk to, or even look at, and he went down to his room in the basement for the rest of the evening. It wasn't until Jared washed the dishes after an awkward dinner that Sam approached him.
"Something off?" he'd asked, keeping his distance.
Jared couldn't find the words to describe what he was feeling. He couldn't think of the word—the one that was supposed to mean a blessing but felt like a curse—much less say it. He didn't want to lie, but it wouldn't matter much even if he did.
"Sam, I...honestly don't want to get into it," Jared replied, staring at the soapy dishes. He cringed, waiting for Sam to react. But if there was one thing Sam was good for, it was keeping his distance and knowing when not to push it.
Sam nodded once and walked away without another word. Jared couldn't tell if that was better or worse, only that he was relieved to not confront the gnawing feeling that his fucked up life was only going to get worse.
He spent the last 2 weeks skipping first period all together, avoiding her in the hallways, and eating lunch in empty classrooms. But now, as they approached the beach, Jared felt the burning panic return, felt it as it climbed up his throat.
After all of his guarded thoughts, all his careful planning, all of his deliberate word choices—it didn't even matter, in the end. Jared would be found out, Paul and Sam would know, and his life would never be the same. Again.
Nearing the group, he could feel all their eyes on them. A hush fell over the crowd, and Jared resisted the urge to look at each and everyone of their faces, searching for her in spite of himself. But as a wind from the ocean blew across the group, a familiar scent caught his attention, and his eyes locked directly with her's.
When Jared saw her for the first time during class, he had tunnel vision. It was overwhelming to see her—her square face, her long black hair, her dark brown eyes, her wide mouth. He felt like he breathed in fresh air for the first time.
But that didn't stop him from avoiding her, and hoped that he could just ignore it. There was safety in solitude, and he kept his guard up.
Seeing her at the beach didn't make it any easier. Her long black hair hung loose down her back, and it tousled wildly in the ocean breeze. He let his eyes lock with hers and allowed himself this momentary release. He zeroed in on her every feature: her raised eyebrows, her taut mouth, her open and anxious eyes—before coolly slipping his gaze away. A drink for the road.
"S-Sam..." Embry's face was red and blotchy, his eyes wide.
A pang of pity rang through Jared before he tensed at the look the others gave them. From their expressions, they were scared, but it was misplaced. And judging from the lack of screams, Embry must not have phased. Thank the gods.
His gaze caught two sets of eyes staring at him: Jacob Black and Quil Ateara. The hate in their eyes was unmistakable. Black's especially.
Jared couldn't blame them.
"Embry," Sam commanded. "I need you to come with me."
He was using his Alpha voice, the kind that everyone in the pack listened to and felt compelled to obey. A power like that in the hands of someone else, like Paul, would have made Jared reluctant to obey. But Sam wasn't an unkind leader, and rarely used it unless he had to. This was one of those times.
Stunned, the others at the bonfire watched in awed silence, as if they, too, were mystified by his power. Jared had to hand it to Sam; he could certainly make an entrance.
Embry finally nodded. He still trembled, but walked hesitantly over to him. Sam gripped Embry's upper arms a moment to steady him before clapping him on the back, holding him as they turned their backs away from the crowd. He murmured to Embry quietly enough for no one else to hear, but Jared's sensitive ears picked them up. "I understand you're scared. You're going to be okay, Embry. I'll explain everything. We'll answer all of your questions…"
Sam shot Jared a look. He didn't need to reach his Alpha's mind to know what he wanted to day. Avert as much attention away as possible.
Ah, so there was a reason why Paul hadn't come out of the woods. Irresponsible asshole.
The silence at the beach didn't last long. As soon as Sam and Embry were away, everyone began to talk at once. As each voice rose and talked over the other, Jared clenched his jaw at the noise. At least they weren't asking the "right" questions. And from the smell of alcohol in the air, there was a possibility that some would be too drunk to remember exactly what happened by tomorrow morning... And who would listen to the deranged ramblings of a group of drunk teenagers?
Subconsciously, his eyes slipped again to the girl who made his insides weakHer gaze was locked on the retreating figures, and she worried her bottom lip. His eyes drifted down her body—to the beer in her small hand, the sleeves that hung over her delicate wrists and the way her clothes hugged her curves...
Stop. He snarled inwardly at himself before snapping his head away. Jesus...this is why I can't be around her. The pull of it… It was so strong. Was this why Sam was always ogling Emily? He felt disgusted with himself. He couldn't imagine the disgust in her eyes if she caught him looking at her like a pervert.
Out of the corner of his eye, he caught a glow of a light in her hand, and without thinking, grabbed it. His skin grazed hers for only a moment, and a small shock raced through him. Her hand was ice cold, and, either because of his speed or his heat, she gasped at his touch.
"You can't call the cops," Jared snapped at her. She gaped at him, her eyes wide. Whatever she could see on his face apparently wasn't pretty.
Good. Maybe it will keep her away.
"Get the hell away from her!" Jared vaguely recognized the voice, but when his eyes flickered to the person speaking, he felt his anger flare up again.
If there was one person aside from Black or Ateara that got under Jared's skin, it was Charlie Littlesea. He'd been keeping an eye on the Littleseas for a while now, but rarely spoke to Charlie directly. Even before he phased, Jared wasn't close with him and didn't particularly like him, either. But he was close with Embry, and so the rage in his gaze wasn't surprising.
But that wasn't what made him so infuriated—it was the idea that Jared would ever hurt her. Jared was supposed to be a protector. No matter his feelings for her, she was still Quileute.
The worst part was that Sam ordered him to keep an eye on Littlesea. Like Paul and Jared before him, the Littlesea's descendants are the most likely to be next… If not this time, then soon. For that reason alone, Jared didn't tear his hand off as Littlesea touched the girl's back.
"Kim, are you okay? Did he hurt you?" Littlesea asked, a little too close for comfort.
"I wouldn't hurt her," Jared snapped despite himself.
Ripping his gaze from them, Jared faced the crowd. A few of the teenagers were still milling about, but most were keeping their attention on him. Time to redirect their focus... Sam would want a full report once this was over, and it wasn't like Jared could lie.
"Alright, everyone, please calm down," he shouted over their voices. "I know you have a lot of questions about what just happened, but I'm going to ask you all to try to believe me when I say that Embry will be okay." Unsure of how much to disclose, he decided to go with a partial truth. "Sam is taking him to his house for the night and I'm going to call Ms. Call myself to let her know. There are some things we don't know going on, and he's been going through a lot of personal issues and may have had too much to drink—"
"Bullshit," Jacob Black snapped from outside the group.
Jared titled his chin down, and returned his gaze. He really...really does not want to deal with Black right now. "Excuse me?"
"Embry wouldn't drink and go running around the woods at night—without shoes on," Black hissed, glaring at him. The others around him murmured. Beside him, Ateara nodded. "We know him. We're his best friends. If there was something going on with him, we would know about it."
Jared took a deep breath. Didn't know this was an Embry Call Fan Club meeting.
You have to accept that there are some things that even you don't know about your "friend," was what he really wanted to say, but instead grated through his teeth, "Like I said. There are some things going on. You should ask him yourself—"
"We've been asking him!" Black had the nerve to take a step forward. Ateara had enough smarts to stop him. "The problem is people like you and Uley scaring him and making him feel like he can't tell us anything. What are you doing to Embry? Huh?"
Jared wished by some miracle Sam would magically reappear and put them at ease. He was better at this. If only their bullshit "powers" included teleportation. At their accusations, he could feel the crowd's restlessness.
It was foolish to think that this event would just disappear from their minds the next morning. It's not like he was a master at this. He was only fucking Beta by chance, for gods's sakes, based solely on what order he phased. He wasn't equipped to deal with this. And the fact that this confrontation was happening in front of people from school, and in front of her, was just making things harder.
"I'll call the cops on you, asshole," Littlesea shouted from behind. Jared turned slightly, and peered down at him over his shoulder. At least his height was one thing going for him. "On you and Sam Uley! Just try me!"
Tch, yeah, go right ahead and try that. Let's see how far you get. Jared noticed the still-glowing light in his hand, and looked down at the phone still there. It still had a phone number glowing up at him. Embry Call. He frowned.
"He won't answer. Might as well not call him."
The girl reacted slowly when he tossed it over to her, scrambling to catch it against her stomach.
"Embry is sick," he said, his voice carrying in the wind. "He isn't feeling well. His mom knows what's going on, and to be honest, it's not my business to tell. And I would think he wouldn't want you guys to go on talking about him like this." He paused. Seeing their expressions, their accusatory looks. He made a point to look them each in the eyes - even Black and Ateara, the ladder of who was seething in anger. Guilt weighed on his shoulders. He sighed. "I'm sorry we dragged you all into this, and I know it won't stay a secret, but I'm asking you to be...sensitive to his feelings."
When he reached her eyes again, he felt the tug, pull, whatever it was, return—the feeling to go over, to comfort her in some way, to pull her aside and explain everything just to see the worry disappear from between her eyebrows.
It was terrifying.
He looked away.
The crowd of teenagers murmured to themselves again. High schoolers weren't known for being a hundred percent attentive. When he spoke again, only about half of them listened, but the people who needed to pay attention the most were quiet, their outrage and confusion painted clearly on their faces. "Embry's going through some shit, okay? Just give him some space and some time to get his head on straight. If you want to talk to him, I can give you his mom's number."
Then, she spoke up. Jared had to keep himself from shivering at the sound of her voice. "Embry should have been the one to say this."
Fuck. That voice.
He shot a look over at her. The harsh wind made her cheeks pink, or maybe it was a blush. He averted his gaze again. "Like I said. Just give him some time."
Finally, slowly, the group began to move as if they were a pack of zombies still working out the mechanics of how to move their limbs. Relief washed over him, his shoulders beginning to sag as they packed their bags, put the fire out, and began to talk quietly amongst each other. They pointedly avoided his gaze, though it was obvious they were talking about him.
"I can't believe Jared looks like that..."
"—see the way Jake looked at him? I thought they were going to fight. My money's on Jake…"
"—Uley's really got him whipped, like he's his master—"
He really wasn't a part of their world anymore. In a world that already othered him, here was another thing that his own peers ostracized him for.
Even across the bonfire, he could hear Black and Ateara murmuring to each other.
"Should we go?" Quil glanced nervously at Jared.
"No," Jacob growled, "I've still got a few more questions to ask him. He's not going to get away so easily."
Watch me, Jared sneered internally.
He hoped they wouldn't want to stay out there much longer—it was still freezing out. He considered the best way to talk to them without it resulting in an all out fight without back up. Jared was beginning to get really annoyed at their persistence when he heard Littlesea talking.
"Do you want a ride home?"
Jared stared pointedly at the firepit, the wood wet from the ocean water someone dumped on it, before his resistance dissolved and he looked over at Kim and Charlie. He had his hand on her back.
Mother. Fucker.
Jared balled his shaking hands and stuffed them in the pockets of his sweatshirt, feeling himself recoil at his own rage that wanted to burst out of him. There were a dozen situations that he gladly played out in his head, from ripping Littlesea's arm off his body, to flinging him into the ocean.
He shuddered and realized that these thoughts, while therapeutic, weren't helping—he was pretty sure Sam would turn him into dog food if he phased.
He forced himself to take a few deep breaths.
But when he closed his eyes, all he saw was Littlesea's goddamn hand at the small of her goddamn back. Goddamn it.
"What the fuck is going on with him?" Ateara's voice sounded far away.
Whatever was on Jared's face was a bit too obvious. What was it that Sam said to help keep calm? Count sheep?
This—fucking this—was exactly why he wanted nothing to do with her. If just the sight of another boy touching her made him feel like this, how else could he maintain control?
And not just any boy—her ex-boyfriend.
When he permitted himself to look back over to her, she was standing by herself, Charlie gone. His anger must have lingered on his face, because when she returned his gaze, she flinched.
"Let's gooo, Kim," Elizabeth whined beside her, tugging at her sleeve. Her eyes were wide, too, her lips set in a grim line.
"Yeah," the girl muttered, "yeah, okay."
A strange mix of relief and desire filled him as his eyes trailed after her. How could he ever live like this? How does Sam?
"You can fool them," said a voice suddenly in front of him. "But you can't fool me."
"I wouldn't dream of it, Black," he replied, scoffing as his eyes trailed after the two girls until they disappeared out of sight.
"You turned into a real asshole, you know that?" Jared felt him step closer and got right in his face.. "What, did Sam rub off on you? Or have you always been such a prick and nobody knew it?"
Jared scoffed, his lip curled. "Jake, get out of my face—"
"No fuck you—"
"For someone who acts like he knows everything, you sure are pretty damn clueless, aren't you?" he hissed between clenching teeth. "Who says Embry needs your protection?"
Black's eyes turned murderous.
Quickly, Ateara thrust an arm between them. "Wait," he said, "guys, let's not."
"Stay out of it, Quil," Black snapped.
Jared couldn't help but laugh.
"Hey, hey, heeey!" called a familiar, grating voice.
Jared grimaced before all three turned toward the woods.
Out came Paul, his arms swinging joyfully at his side and a gleeful smile on his face. His eyes nearly fucking sparkled as he looked between the three of them. "Shit, did I interrupt something? My bad, dogs."
"Paul..." Jared warned. Please tell me Sam didn't insist Paul come over to "help." At least Paul was wearing clothes, even though they were baggy sweatpants and an oversized trucker t-shirt that said "Ain't No Feelin' Like 18 Wheelin''."
What an idiot.
Paul raised his hands comically. "Hey, not my call."
Of course not. Sam made Paul fetch him. Jared glanced over at Black, who looked between the two of them with a mix of suspicion and confusion.
"This isn't over," Black warned. So cheesy—was that from a movie? Instead of looking intimidating, he looked and sounded much like a child. He looked scared.
Jared's heart then broke for him.
"We can end it right here," Paul said in almost a sing-song voice, bouncing on the balls of his feet, which were bare in the sand. He returned Jacob's glare with a smile on the edge of wildness.
Jared couldn't help it: the expression on Black's face was nearly comical.
"I think they've said their piece," Jared said softly. The fear and rage twisted on their faces, but Jared didn't give any of them a moment to respond when he turned away, walking past them and shouldered Paul.
Thankfully, he followed suit, and Black and Ateara were left alone on the beach.
Whether it was a good idea or not, sending Paul there did distract them enough for them to slip away, and for that, he could give the Alpha props. But that didn't keep Paul from grating on his nerves as they walked back into the woods.
"Shit, did you see the looks on their faces?" Paul cackled a bit too loudly for his comfort as they stepped just past the tree line. The wind howled, carrying his voice. "They really looked like they were going to—"
"What did Sam say?" Jared interrupted.
Despite not wanting to be near him—or even be human since that was the very last thing he felt like—he didn't want Paul to phase so close to the beach, so close to where others might see. And listening to Paul's thoughts was even more annoying than listening to him speak, so he'd get what he could.
"Aside from the fact that Embry was totally spaced out? Not much before ordering me to save your ass." Paul snapped back a tree limb out of his way, stomping on the leaves and debris on the forest floor. Jared neglected to comment. "He really looked like he was in shock, like damn, what a baby. Imagine if I'd cried that much. Jesus, he's going to be embarrassed as hell later when I replay this night to him."
"And did he say anything on the beach while you were playing tag in the woods?" Jared ran a hand through his choppy hair, his gaze swerving in the darkness, always on the lookout.
"Apparently all he said was that 'the legends are true' and that 'he'd turned,'" he said, using his fingers as quotation marks. "Totally harmless stuff. They probably had no idea what the fuck he was on about. I doubt those pricks connected the dots."
He mentioned the legends? Oh, no.
"How did he connect it to the legends?" Jared hissed. He could feel the anger in him rising, and he tried taking deep breaths to stop himself from shaking. What did the others hear? What did she hear? "Who told him?" Paul avoided meeting his gaze. "You!?"
"Barely!" Paul snapped, too proud to show any remorse. "It just came to me, man! You know I have trouble controlling my thoughts!"
"Goddamn it—Paul, you—" He remembered the only time Paul and Embry could have been alone: when Jared was human, getting the clothes for them. Fuck, he could have told him anything and Jared wasn't there to stop it.
He pressed his lips together, closing his eyes. It's not worth it, it's not worth it. Tonight was already down the shitter—poking the bear would only make it worse. "Whatever. Just do not tell him anything else, Paul. Leave it to Sam."
Paul smiled wryly. "What, is that a Beta order?"
Jared grit his teeth at the challenge. "Now it is."
"It's not even my fault," Paul said. Jared wanted to smack him, but due to an unknown patience he had deep inside, he restrained himself. "It's not like Embry wouldn't have figured it out. Isn't this what we'ere told since we were babies? That we're descended from wolves?" He scratched his armpit a moment before turning to him. "Hey, how did you get him to phase back, anyways?"
Jared hesitated for just a moment, long enough to accidentally trip on a log jutting out from some underbrush. He glanced over his shoulder out of habit. He knew it was fruitless—no one was in the woods besides them. "He did it himself," he finally muttered.
Paul stared at him with wide eyes.
"What?" His excitement made sickness roll in Jared's stomach. "I didn't even know it was possible to do it so soon after the first phase! How!?"
Jared shook his head. "I don't know."
"Do you think it had to do with—you know…?" Paul gestured to his chest. "Looked pretty gnarly."
"I said, I don't know. You saw it, too—weren't you 'reading his mind'?"
"Jesus, okay, okay." Paul shook his head. "Fuckin' prick…" he muttered under his breath, knowing full well that he could hear it but didn't care.
Jared had nearly forgotten all about it, the blood. The others at the bonfire had to have seen it—it was everywhere, all over his clothes. This whole night was so messed up. He supposed he couldn't blame Paul necessarily, but it was his morbid, curious longing that was going to catch up with him someday. The ancestors obviously didn't know what they were doing, choosing the Lahote bloodline. Or they should have at least skipped a generation.
But he couldn't argue that it was unusual for Embry to phase back so...suddenly. Like Paul, Jared didn't even know it could happen that soon. When Jared first phased, it'd taken him nearly a week to figure out how to turn back, and it took Sam two weeks before him. Even with their guidance, Paul struggled for days. He'd have to ask Sam about it when he got there.
By the time they made it to the quaint Uley house, all the lights were on. The Clearwaters' and Old Quil's cars were parked in the driveway. He winced at the sight.
What a coincidence seeing you here, Old Quil, because you see, I was just with your grandson down at the beach, and funnily enough… He shook his head. Best not to mention it if he didn't ask.
They could hear them talking from outside and when they walked into the dining area, for a moment, the sights and sounds of the house overwhelmed Jared's senses. The tiny Uley home, which wasn't used to large numbers, was now nearly bursting at the seams.
In the dining room, Emily leaned against the oven, biting her thumbnail while Harry and Sue sat together at the dining room table. They didn't cease their intense conversation, but Sue did greet them with a gentle smile when he and Paul entered.
In the living room, Old Quil sat beside Sam, who crouched over the couch. Beneath a pile of thick blankets, Embry trembled.
Emily was the first person to come to him.
"Hey—" he barely had time to let out before Emily interrupted.
"Sam needs to see you."
Jared nodded once, pushing away the wave of exhaustion that overcame him for just a moment before surging forward. How long has he been awake? Over twenty-four hours by now.
"What about me?" Paul asked.
"Just stand by," Jared said. He swept his gaze over the snacks Emily must have scrambled together and to set out on the table and counter space. "Go ahead and eat something. I'll keep you updated if this is going to be an all-nighter."
All three–well, now four—wolves were in here instead of patrolling the area, which made the hair on the back of JAred's neck stand up. He prayed nothing catastrophic happened while they handled this mess.
Paul already piled food on his plate before he even finished. Jared rolled his eyes before heading into the living room.
He could hardly see Embry underneath all the blankets. His mop of wild hair, threaded with twigs and pine needles, stuck to his forehead and pillow. He laid on his side in a fetal position, the covers tucked into his shoulders and covered his nose so that only his wild eyes roved around the room. He flinched when he caught sight of Jared.
Sam turned to him. He didn't have to ask.
Jared nodded once. Sam didn't show any signs of relief, only nodded in return before turning back to face Embry.
"We're going outside," Sam said, more for Embry's benefit. "Be back soon."
"Alright, old timer," Old Quil rasped quietly. Old Quil sat on the coffee table with one hand on Embry's shoulder. What exactly he was doing, Jared couldn't say, but they left the old man to it.
Walking into the kitchen, Sam grabbed two mugs and poured a fresh cup of coffee into them. He handed one to Jared. Welcome to La Push! it read in cursive in front of a sun setting over the Quileute River. It scalded his tongue and tasted like shit, but at least it was warm. Paul watched them from the kitchen table.
The two walked outside to the wide front porch and closed the door behind them to keep any non-supernatural ears from listening.
It was Jared's favorite part of their home. The wood warped from the weather, but the view of the forest and sky was breathtaking. He leaned forward to rest his forearms against the wooden banister, looking up at where the tall trees speared the dark sky.
"How are you holding up?" Beside him, Sam looked straight out into the woods. He had a thick beanie pulled over his head, where he'd shaved his hair down into a buzz cut again.
"Never better." Taking another drink, and the coffee burned going down. He coughed. "How's Embry?"
Sam sighed. It sounded like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders—which Jared guessed in a way, he was. "He's holding up. Old Quil is in there praying, but I don't think it's doing him any good. We'll have to go in there, tell him the legends properly—I know, I know. I'll talk to Paul." He looked down at his coffee, the steam curling up off of the surface. "I talked to Tiffany Call before you got here. She knew to come here."
Jared gaped. "Tiffany Call? She...knew?"
"That it was going to happen to him?" He shrugged. "Maybe. I think she suspected it."
If she did, then who else? "Where is she now?"
"Back home. I wouldn't let her come here. Embry is freaked out enough as it is, seeing her would just upset him and I do not want him phasing inside my damn house." He shook his head at the thought.
Jared angled towards him. "Do you know why he phased?"
Sam nodded slowly, lost in thought. "Tiffany gave me some more information. They were arguing about his recent behavior. He didn't have an excuse for it, of course. He didn't know what was coming." He paused. "He phased in front of her."
Jared pulled back in surprise. "Did he—is she—?"
He was unable to keep himself from looking back at the house, through the window where Emily stood in the kitchen. Realizing his error, he snapped his gaze back and looked down at his hands clasped around the mug. Shit, he did not mean to do that. He was sure his thoughts were painted clearly on his face.
"Tiffany's safe." Sam took a long drink from his mug. "He phased outside. He ran straight into the woods when it happened. That's probably when you heard him."
Jared took in an unsteady breath and sighed. The events of the night ran behind his eyelids like a movie projector. The chase, the blood, the phase. The beach. The girl. He opened his eyes.
"We don't get paid enough for this," Sam muttered humorlessly into his mug.
"We don't get paid period." The two barked out a quick laugh, Sam shaking his head with a smile.
They stood there together in a shared moment of silence. The late night darkness wrapped around them, like they were in their own world separate from reality. The adrenaline from earlier began to wear off, and if Sam wasn't standing right there beside him, he would have fallen asleep standing up.
"How long has that been going on with the girl?"
Jared blinked at the question, trying to put it into context. When he looked over at Sam again, he saw Sam look into the kitchen window behind his shoulder, right at Emily.
Oh.
Oh.
Jared stopped, his heart not helping things by hammering loudly in his chest. He'd figured it out? How? Did he say something?
When he turned back to him, his eyes were patient, if sad.
Jared froze for another terrible moment before shaking his head. His words came out in a rush. "I...didn't want to tell you. It would complicate things."
A whisper of a smile fell on Sam's lips, but it looked...disappointed. "Complicate things, huh?"
As if the night wasn't long enough, now he had to answer to his Alpha about why he didn't tell him about the Imprint.
Although he didn't speak immediately, Sam just drank his coffee slowly beside him, silent.
"Does she know?" Sam finally asked.
"No."
"When did this happen?"
It felt almost impossible to get all the words out. "A couple weeks before Winter Break. It happened at school. During first period."
Sam's eyebrows shot up. "You were in class with her for weeks after you first phased—how didn't you know before?"
That was the million dollar question right there.
"Yeah I guess… I guess I'd never really looked at her before. I don't really make a point to talk to people who aren't, you know, us." Jared ran a hand through his hair, then down to his face, rubbing it. It sounded way more isolating when he said it out loud, which, yeah...it was. "I mean, I only lasted a couple weeks. Paul phased, we got busy...and I haven't gone to every class. I know, Sam, I know." He sighed at Sam's pointed look. "All I know is that I asked her for a pencil, I looked into her eyes, and just... felt it." He could feel a blush coming on, but didn't elaborate on what exactly "it" was that he felt.
The duo stood together in silence for a long moment.
"Can I ask for a favor?" His voice was small. He didn't wait for Sam to reply. "Please don't tell anyone. I'll deal with Paul, but Harry, Old Quil, Billy...they can't know. I don't want an intervention, I don't want a story-swap over a bonfire, I don't want their 'advice.' Please—" He choked. This time he turned to face Sam. "Don't tell her. If something ever happens...she should hear it from me."
Sam looked at him strangely, his eyebrows pinched together. Finally, he nodded. "Okay, Jared. Okay. I won't pretend to understand why. But, I am...surprised."
Jared let out another grim laugh, the edges burnt with bitterness. "Why, because you thought I'd be jumping for joy at the fact that I'm dragging an innocent girl into our bullshit without her consent?"
He wasn't sure what surprised him more: that he'd said that to his leader, or that, for once, Jared spoke the quiet thing out loud.
"It's always been about consent, Jared," Sam replied softly. "She chooses what kind of person you can be for her. You won't be forcing anything. I know you wouldn't do that to her, Jared." Sam looked at him. "And it doesn't have to be romantic."
No, not romantic— He wouldn't even allow himself to think of it. He felt sick at the giddiness that rose up inside of him despite himself.
The idea of being in a relationship was as painful as it was to imagine them apart. But what was even worse—what if what she wanted was to never be a part of his life, romantic or not? He had to put a stop to this before she could gain the upper hand. There was only so much pain Jared could live through.
He gripped his mug tightly, whispering out in a rush, his words all running together, "Why me, man, you know? Why are we Imprinting at all? Who will be next? Paul? Embry? Whoever else will phase? Will our ancestors never be satisfied until everyone of us is paired off, forced to be torn from our partners, our brothers? I didn't consent. I didn't consent to any of this!"
"None of us did." This time, Sam's voice was strong. Immovable. "Do you think I wasn't surprised when I Imprinted on Emily? When I hurt Leah the way that I did?"
Jared was stunned at the mention of her name. He didn't recall Sam ever saying her name out loud in front of him before.
Sam continued. "I'm not an expert on Imprinting. Contrary to what the Council thinks, none of us have all the answers. I'm figuring it out along the way just as you are, and I'm not going to tell you what to do. I would never want to tell you what to do about this." He took a deep breath, his gaze drifting up back toward the kitchen window. "But I will be honest with you, Jared. Just between us. Because I know what you're going through maybe better than anyone else, even if I disagree with you. And please loosen your grip on the mug, it's Emily's favorite."
Jared nearly dropped his coffee. He set the mug down on the deck railing, his hands shaking. He stuffed them into his pockets.
"When I Imprinted on Emily, it was...indescribable. I was confused and in pain—I was hurting over the thoughts I had of her."
"Wow, you're really selling the idea, Sam," Jared mumbled.
Sam laughed softly. "I know, I know. But, as cheesy as this sounds... I can't imagine living with this...without her." He put a hand on his chest, right above the sternum. "I like the thought that I'm some big, tough guy who can do no wrong and take no shit, but the truth is that I'm deeply indebted to Emily and what she's done for me. For us." The love in his voice was unmistakable. He waved towards the house behind them.
"No, Emily didn't ask for this. But she's strong, and kind, and more understanding than I could have ever hoped for. Even if we weren't together, the connection between us is...perfect, honestly. She truly feels like my other half. We bounce ideas off of each other, we laugh at each other's jokes, and support our passions. And I have a feeling that it can be like that with you and Kim, too. If you allow it to be."
At the sound of her name, Jared shivered, closing his eyes against the rush of emotion. "But she's not Emily. She's basically a stranger. I hardly know anything about her, much less if we'd be 'perfect' for each other. And, I can't do it—I can't put her through this."
"Jared, I would be very surprised if she wasn't feeling the same way about you."
The idea was laughable. "What could I even offer her? The temperament of an animal? Leaving her alone every night? Forcing her to stay in La Push while we hunt leeches the rest of our lives? A sad, small room in the basement—?" He halted, shocked at his own words.
Silence hung briefly between them, and Jared put a hand over his eyes. "Sam. Sam, I'm so sorry...I didn't mean—"
"Jared," Sam said, "it's fine. I'm not offended. I know that you're appreciative. You're going through a lot, and the Imprint isn't helping."
"No," Jared said, shaking his head now as his hand slid down his face. "I'm very grateful for you. After I phased and my mom—" He choked, and a new rush of emotion came crashing all around him. He couldn't even say it out loud.
"Jared, it's okay. I promise, it's going to be okay."
And as if he'd cast a spell, Jared slumped over, ready to pass out from exhaustion.
Sam clasped his shoulder. "All I will leave you with is this—there is a good reason why this is happening to you, and why it's her. But like with any relationship, it needs time to grow. It's your decision what to tell her, and I trust you, Jared."
He could almost cry. He swallowed a lump that cut in his voice as he said, "O-okay, Sam. Okay."
"It's late. Take tonight and tomorrow off—I'll deal with Embry."
Deflated, Jared nodded.
When they went back inside, most of the lights were off. Emily was still in the kitchen, alone this time. Old Quil and Sue were gone, but now Harry sat in the living room recliner, inches away from Embry, who was sleeping. Jared could hear Paul's snores from the basement. So much for waiting for my call, Jared thought but didn't have the energy to be annoyed.
It was like they were stepping away from an alternate world. Jared looked at the clock, it blinked 4:10AM. Longest night of his life.
"You didn't have to stay up," Sam told Emily and he walked directly towards her, placing both of their coffee mugs into the sink and wrapping his arms around her. Jared watched out of the corner of his eye for only a moment before it became unbearable. He walked over to the door that led to the basement and flicked on the light that illuminated the stairway.
His bed was pushed against one wall with a dresser in the corner—the only pieces of furniture that belonged to Jared. Aside from his tiny corner, the rest of the basement was filled with old picture frames and old, discarded furniture. Paul slept on a floral couch at the opposite wall, snoring loudly.
Jared fell asleep before his head hit the pillow.
Present: Jared POV
Jared replayed that conversation with Sam as he laid in bed, gazing out of the basement window.
Before he first phased, he didn't pay much attention to the moon. Now, his eyes were drawn to it of their own accord.
Why am I not bound by you? he thought. Why is it my rage that changes me?
He thought of Kim from that night at the bonfire. The waves, the fire, the moon reflecting against her face.
But beneath that anger, that confusion, his desire was unlike anything he'd ever experienced before. He'd felt desire before—or at least what he thought was desire. His past desires were now a distant and dulled memory. This was fresh, hot and heavy, like a weight sitting on his chest. It crushed him.
He ached for her—when he ever ached?
He would try his best to push those thoughts away and focus on whatever was in front of him: a task, homework, or even a vampire they were hunting. But this wasn't the first time these thoughts invaded his mind while he was alone.
It was exhausting to keep the thoughts at bay.
But in bed, alone in the dark, and without thinking, he allowed himself to think of her. Of her mouth her hands her eyes. Her.
A/N: Chapter title inspired by "Twin Size Mattress" by The Front Bottoms. (Alt Chapter title: "Angry Sea" by Mother Mother.)
Surprise! Since it's a long, holiday weekend here in the US, I thought I'd upload this chapter a few days early. Ahh, this was a fun, but very emotional chapter to write! There won't be many chapters in Jared's POV but I wanted to give you guys a sense of what Jared's going through. (I know my life would have turned upside down if I turned into a wolf when I was a teenager, lol.) I'm also extremely interested in the whole Fated Mates trope, and I feel like it's a lot to absorb when you're already a werewolf.
Anyways, enough of my rambling! Let me know what you think of this chapter—any insights in Jared you found interesting? Did you like being in his head? Reviews are always appreciated! See y'all next week :)