A/N: Thanks to everyone who followed/faved or left comments on the previous chapters.
I'd love to know what you guys think about any of the stories so far, so please leave a review if you feel like.
Summary: Teen Santana can't handle the stress of having to take care of a newborn all on her own. Good thing Brittany is there to help. A Grumpy Cat-verse AU/prequel
This story is kind of a prequel/AU concept based on my other multichapter story Grumpy Cat. For a while I've had this idea in my head and have been asking myself, "What would have happened if Brittany actually knew Santana when she was a struggling teenager with a newborn?" It just seems like it would have saved all three of them a lot of heartache if that had happened and it's sweet to imagine Brittany being a part of that. In this AU, Brittana go to the same school but never really met before or became friends even though they both run in similar circles.
That being said, personally I'm extremely selective about pregnant Santana fics in terms of how I need them to be written. Even for GC, it was a long mental debate about whether it felt right or not but ultimately I wanted her to have a child who was biologically hers at her young age for that story without her being married to a wife as yet - and without any magical babies. Pregnant Santana is not my preference and not usually something I'd write myself. I also don't enjoy writing about Santana being closeted at all. I completely understand that some fans are squeamish about pregnancy/baby fics in general.
So if this chapter isn't your cup of tea, I do get it and you're welcome to skip this one - but if you liked Grumpy Cat and you wouldn't mind a hurt/comfort romance fic set in an AU where Brittany helps Santana with her baby son, then I hope you enjoy this. If you have read the other story this is based on, you'll know the backstory of Santana became pregnant and that she is gay, just as she is in all of my stories.
*Trigger warnings for some homophobic talk from the cheerleader girls at the beginning, mentions of compulsory heterosexuality with the jock when Santana was younger and did not accept herself.
Brittany felt dizzy as she stumbled around in just her pink polka dot bra and jean shorts, looking for the bathroom. Mike Chang was having another party at his place and everyone who was anyone at McKinley was there. The place was crowded with teenagers dancing and drinking or making out. When she opened the door, she wasn't expecting to see a tall blonde Cheerio she knew, a basic girl called Madison, being backed up against a wall by a slightly shorter, dark-haired girl who looked vaguely familiar.
The other blonde whimpered, her eyes closed and neither of them seemed to notice Brittany as she just stood there with her lips parted, her eyes glued to the sight in front of her as the darker-skinned girl kissed the blonde fiercely, shoving her left hand down the front of the girl's jeans as her lips trailed over her neck.
Brittany kept watching the really hot, intense dark-haired girl in fascination, noticing her sculpted arms and back in the tank top she was wearing. She felt a pang of jealousy mixed in with arousal as she fantasized about what it would be like if she was in the blonde's place. Then the black-haired girl flipped around as if suddenly feeling Brittany's presence and her expression changed to one of shame then fury at being caught in the situation she was in. Brittany gasped when she realized it was Santana Lopez, the second most popular girl at school. Santana was so sexy that Brittany felt her legs tremble and her heart skipped a beat when she looked into those hooded dark eyes.
"What the hell are you doing?" Santana snarled. Madison seemed confused when Santana let go of her and instantly jumped back about three feet, pulling down her shirt as she extracted her hand from the girl's pants.
"I just… Sorry."
"Don't you dare tell anyone! We weren't doing anything! You saw nothing."
"Huh? What would I tell them?"
Santana just growled something unintelligible at her. Brittany stared at her blankly, not understanding why she was being threatened when all she really wanted to do was get Santana to make out with her instead of the basic bitch. Brittany moved closer to a bewildered and flustered Santana, pushing her body up against the shorter girl's because in her drunken state it seemed like that was what she needed to do.
Madison squawked as Brittany slipped in between them and casually pushed the other blonde out of the way as if she didn't exist. Brittany noticed the way Santana's gaze lingered on her scantily clad body for a really long time and she paid no attention to that other blonde girl. Brittany smirked but then Santana froze, as if she realized what she was doing and scowled, making a sound of frustration as she shifted away from the ditzy blonde as if her touch had burned her.
Madison glared at Brittany when Santana stormed off furiously and Brittany rolled her eyes at the other blonde, flipping her hair. She leaned back against the bathroom wall when both girls had left and thought about what she had just seen, closing her eyes and clenching her thighs together as she fantasized about being in Madison's place once again.
That was the one memory Brittany had of Santana from junior year that would replay constantly in her head. She had always known of Santana Lopez, the "Second In Command" to Queen B Quinn Fabray, who was the most popular girl at their school. The other teen girls would whisper about how lucky Santana was constantly, or talk about what she had worn to some party or who she was dating. All girls wanted to be Santana and Quinn while boys all competed with each other for the chance to be seen with either of them.
Brittany was almost as popular herself, so it was odd that their two worlds hadn't intersected. Even though Brittany and Santana were both in the Cheerios and went to the same parties, the two girls had never had the opportunity to talk one on one for whatever reason. Like all of the other cheerleaders, Brittany had always been slightly in awe of the fierce Santana.
Despite the other cheerleaders' resentment toward her, Santana had always been the girl the others all tried to emulate, the epitome of badass and cool but preppy. However, Brittany was probably the only one who thought it was the sexiest thing she had ever seen in her life when Santana so much as strutted down the hallways with her head held high and a distinctive swagger, an air of authority and dominance about her. Everything about her sharp, high cheekbones, chiselled jawline and black eyes that flashed with fury at everything she looked upon were appealing to the blonde. She loved Santana's strength and bravery.
Though for others it might have been terrifying, the attraction Brittany felt toward Santana intensified one day when she witnessed the Latina forcefully throw Quinn into a locker and advance on her brutally like a lioness then toss her onto the linoleum floor. She loved the way Santana conquered the school and was bold enough to assert her dominance over Quinn, who was thought of as the leader of the cheerleaders, despite the fact that Santana ranked second to her.
That was why it shocked Brittany when all of a sudden, Santana seemed to disappear from the face of the planet and fall off the radar. The Hispanic girl barely attended classes anymore, she no longer showed up to cheerleading practice, and students were no longer whispering about her in envious or awed voices. Santana no longer went to the much talked about jock and cheerleader parties and she was suddenly wearing frumpier, loose clothes instead of sexy ones. Instead, Santana was the subject of savage gossip that went through the rumour mill of McKinley faster than a speeding bullet.
Soon, she found out why Santana was no longer such a powerhouse at McKinley. She was pregnant of all things. That was really difficult for Brittany to imagine… Santana really didn't seem like the type. Brittany couldn't even imagine her with a guy to begin with.
"She's just a no good slut. I heard she got knocked up for some homeless guy she had to pay to have sex with her and now she's trying to pass it off on Clayton. Everyone knows our Clay would never do that." Chelsea asserted, in a hushed voice to the other top bitch cheerleaders as they sat around together on the bleachers. Kelsey, Quinn, and a red-haired girl with green eyes called Jessica all snickered at Chelsea's remark, nodding in agreement.
They were watching Santana walk across the field with her black hair hanging limply around her shoulders and looking messy instead of in its usual immaculate, high ponytail as they trash talked her. The girl was just wearing a loose, ratty looking t-shirt and jeans that were baggier than her usual ones, barely a trace of makeup on her face. It softened her face and in Brittany's opinion made her look so young and soft… and adorable but it was so unlike the impeccable, intimidating Santana Lopez they had seen before.
The Latina looked up in the girls' direction, waving to them and Brittany was the only girl who waved back while the others just ignored her, snickering among themselves. Brittany was saddened when that cute smile dropped from Santana's face, replaced with a sad frown.
Clayton Devereaux III, a tall, muscular and extremely rich blond, blue-eyed WASP who was the quarterback and the most popular guy at their school, began jeering at Santana with his friends, laughing raucously as they saw Santana. The Latina scowled and stuck up her middle finger at them.
"She's just pathetic. It's honestly so sad. I bet she'll be working in Kmart for the rest of her life," Jessica sneered as Quinn laughed beside her. "We all know what really happened. There goes the rest of her life… she'll never go to college, never get married. She's doomed to be a Lima Loser forever."
Brittany frowned at the cattiness of the girls, especially Jessica and Quinn who had seemed to be Santana's closest friends at the school not long ago. It shocked her that these two girls completely turned their backs on someone who they had been so close to.
"Hey, you guys don't know that for sure." Brittany piped up, earning a harsh glare from Quinn and the others. Brittany was the most passive of the cheerleaders and almost never gave any opinions, so the others were clearly shocked that she was voicing her disagreement. They were mad at her for challenging them.
"It's not our fault she's such a slut that she can't keep her legs closed and now she has the audacity to blame a completely innocent guy for it. Clayton goes to my church and we dated for two years. He's saving himself for marriage and I know for a fact that he would never do that with any girl," Quinn huffed, crossing her arms over her chest as she spoke with an air of authority. The other girls except for Brittany hummed in agreement with their captain. "Mother was so appalled when she found out, she and Father told me they know I would never do such a thing but they don't want me hanging around that wild girl anymore."
"I almost got pregnant a few times. We all did, remember? We talked about it," Brittany thought back to the pregnancy scares she herself had. Quinn had them herself as well, just recently for that ugly guy Noah Puckerman and the group of girls they were with had all known about it. Even though Quinn was supposed to be a virgin and the president of the Celibacy Club. "Maybe it's not her fault and she didn't want to do it."
"Brittany!" Quinn gasped, gritting her teeth as her cheeks flushed, her eyes darting around as if checking to see if anyone outside of their group had heard the other blonde. "Keep your voice down."
"I know you're speaking from the goodness of your heart, Brittany but you don't have to pretend to be nice to her. She's just not the same class as we are," Kelsey told the blonde. "Besides, let's be honest, she has always been a total bitch to everyone since forever so I don't think anyone feels sorry for her. That's karma."
Brittany could tell that most of the Cheerios were gleeful that Santana was losing everything because they had always wanted to usurp her.
"My parents are the same as Quinn's," Jessica nodded. "I won't be inviting her to the next house party, that's for sure. We don't need some Lima Loser ruining the vibe."
"I heard she's a lesbian too," Mary Lou added in a scornful voice, saying the word "Lesbian" like it was some awful, disturbing thing that was the worst thing someone could be. "I heard Chad walked in on her having sex with some slutty blonde girl in her car at Matt Rutherford's last keg party."
"Ew!" The other girls except for Brittany all collectively voiced their disgust, scandalized looks on their faces and laughed as if they had just been told the most hilarious but outrageous joke.
Brittany's ears perked up and she felt a wave of jealousy toward that unknown lucky blonde just as she had felt toward that Madison girl. Maybe if she had been to that party she would have got her chance to have that happen to her with Santana instead of that girl.
"Oh, she really likes blondes." The airheaded, ditzy girl commented, more to herself than anything though no one really paid attention to her. They were too busy reacting to Mary Lou's hot piece of gossip.
"Couldn't she have found another way to have a baby with her lesbian lover instead of framing poor innocent Clay?" Chelsea lamented as the other girls all snorted in derisive laughter.
I wish I was the lover, even though I'm not a lesbian Brittany mused to herself.
"Don't let yourself get caught in the showers with her. She probably looks at all the girls naked." Jessica gasped with a grossed out look on her face as the other girls with the exception of Brittany all nodded.
Brittany frowned deeply, shaking her head. She couldn't help but feel it was unfair and made no sense. Even though she had never talked to the girl properly before, she felt her heart ache when Santana glanced in their direction one more time, a look of deep pain in her glassy dark brown eyes before she stormed off with her fists clenched tightly at her sides as the jocks and Cheerios all laughed at her loudly.
Brittany didn't know what Santana's story was but she didn't understand why her getting pregnant somehow made her the biggest villain at McKinley. Or why being a lesbian was the other, even worse and more villainous thing Santana could be, apparently.
"You guys are really mean." Brittany mumbled after she had got tired of hearing them insult Santana before walking away from the bleachers with her head held high and ignoring the outraged looks the other girls gave her.
Brittany's first real interaction with Santana aside from that moment at the party happened one day not long after the time when the girl's former friends trash talked her at the bleachers.
Santana was wearing another frumpy looking outfit - at least by her typical exceptionally high standards, though Brittany thought the girl looked adorable - that consisted of her usual loose jeans and a plain black t-shirt, her eyeliner smudged and the barest hint of gloss on her chapped lips. It wasn't typical of Santana but it was casual and nice. It was like how Brittany imagined she might look like when she was alone at home with no one to impress.
Santana walked into the cafeteria for lunch: just a plain milk and yoghurt on her tray and a look of complete disinterest on her sad face. The other Cheerios looked up at the Latina scornfully when she approached them and tried to sit next to Quinn at the Cheerios' table.
"Sorry, this seat is taken." Quinn sneered and the other girls all shook their heads, snickering meanly when Santana tried to sit next to them. Brittany moved over at the edge of the bench, creating room for Santana in case she wanted to sit next to her but the black-haired girl didn't see her do that because she was caught up in her embarrassment and anger at her former friends.
"Whatever, I don't fucking need any of you losers anyway!" Santana seethed.
Chad, who was walking nearby, shoved Santana's tray into her face and the milk carton was open so the white liquid went all over her shirt. The mean-faced blond high-fived the dark-haired jock guy beside him, both of them laughing their heads off. The rest of the cafeteria except for Brittany all laughed loudly at Santana as she got this really upset look on her face like she was about to cry and threw her tray on the ground then stormed off in the direction of the girls' bathrooms.
Brittany gasped and got up to follow her, ignoring the shouts from the Cheerios asking her what on earth she was doing and warning her that she was committing social suicide.
The tall blonde walked into the girls' bathrooms, noticing that they were completely empty except for the presence of Santana.
She was only wearing a black bra, her cheeks reddening when she realized she had an audience as she washed off her shirt in the sink. Brittany noticed that Santana was still really small, with barely any suggestion of any bump on her stomach.
In fact, Santana looked skinnier than Brittany remembered her being before. She was just as gorgeous as Brittany remembered her being at the party but it was obvious she wasn't well. The Latina had a serious frown and her brows were knit together, tears streaming down her cheeks which she hastened to wipe away when she noticed Brittany staring at her. She adopted the scariest expression imaginable and advanced on Brittany like a cobra about to strike with her shoulders squared and a sassy neck roll.
"What do you want?!" The black-haired girl snapped in the most vicious voice Brittany had ever heard and glared at her murderously. It was clear that Santana didn't want any company but Brittany refused to leave. "Who are you?"
She wondered if Santana would remember her from that one incident at the party.
"I'm Brittany. Are you okay? That was really mean what they did to you."
"Do I look okay?" Santana retorted sarcastically. "What, did you want to follow me in here to finish off what they started? Gonna make fun of me for this too?"
"No… not at all. I just wanted to help you."
"I don't need your help!" Santana shouted, then Brittany noticed the way her face paled and she covered her mouth with her hand as she ran into a cubicle, immediately throwing up.
"Oh dear." Brittany sighed deeply, pulling back her long black hair. Santana couldn't stop throwing up it seemed, kneeling on the floor the whole time and then continued dry heaving for ages. She accepted the tissues Brittany passed to her to wipe off her face.
When she had cleaned up a little and stopped throwing up, Santana started to bawl, tears rolling down her cheeks and her whole body shaking. Brittany was so worried and bit her lip in concern. She noticed the dark circles around Santana's eyes and that exhausted look on her face. What little makeup she had on her face was a mess.
"Sorry you had to see that. I just feel so sick all the time and I can't even eat. My back hurts. Every day it's the same and I hate it so much."
Santana gasped in shock when Brittany just pulled her into a hug. Her body went stiff but she didn't push her away even though she didn't reciprocate the hug, apparently in disbelief that a complete stranger would embrace her.
"It's okay, Santana. Will you let me drop you home? I have a hoodie in my bag that you can borrow if your shirt is ruined."
She kept staring at Brittany's face and seemed to be mortified when she finally realized who the blonde was.
"You're… wait a minute. You're the weird girl from the party."
Brittany nodded.
"Yeah, Silly. Aw, you remembered me after all."
"Why were you even watching me with her?" Santana huffed. "Were you spying on me? H-how much did you see? For the record I-I wasn't actually kissing her, you know even though it might have looked like that."
Brittany just smiled to herself. She figured any answer she had would send Santana into even more of a spiral so she chose to deflect.
"So are you gonna let me take you home?"
After a while, Brittany stepped back, letting go of her and Santana gave a small nod, mumbling her acceptance to Brittany's suggestion. It was clear that the girl didn't have too many other options and she was too sick to continue classes.
"I guess I'm not exactly in the best state to go to classes… but you barely even know me. You'd do that for me?"
Brittany nodded quickly with a smile. The shocked look on Santana's face, as if she couldn't believe anyone would help her from the kindness of their heart without any ulterior motive made Brittany's stomach twist painfully, pitying the girl.
"I'm surprised you'd even let me in your car, knowing how gross and bad I am according to everyone else at this school."
"I don't think you're gross or bad at all." Brittany replied softly and Santana just stared at her with confusion written all over her face.
"Wait… can you even drive?" Santana asked, a very skeptical look on her face as she saw Brittany fish out car keys from her handbag that had a white fluffy cat dangling from the keyring and a bunch of other cute girly things hanging from it.
"Not much," Brittany admitted. "Not all that well either. Everyone says when I drive it's more like flying. I can't drive on highways yet but probably enough to get you to your house."
"That's comforting to know… and of course your car is pink." Santana remarked in a flat voice when Brittany took her to her car. The blonde girl just giggled.
Brittany became very confused by the instructions Santana was giving her and it was clear to both girls that the blonde had never really driven before. Santana had this anxious look on her face as Brittany drove her car in a scatterbrained way, losing track of where she was going a lot and needing Santana to keep reminding her. The Latina was completely silent and just stared out of the window angrily.
"I'm sorry your friends are treating you like that." Brittany told her quietly.
"I don't have any friends," Santana bit out in a cold voice, scowling bitterly and folded her arms over her chest defensively. "I don't need any either."
"Oh…" Brittany sighed, glancing at the girl from the corner of her eye. "That's a shame… I'd be your friend. I mean, if you'd let me."
"Why?" Santana snapped and Brittany winced. Santana was silent apart from constantly grabbing the arm rest to brace herself as Brittany zigzagged and trying her best to give the airheaded girl instructions. At one point, Santana got so nauseous from all of Brittany's detours and swerving that she asked Brittany to pull over.
"Oh, Santana." Brittany sighed, going up to her and rubbing her back. Santana groaned miserably, leaning against a nearby tree and hunched over. Brittany could just see from her facial expression that she hated every second of her current life. She bit her lip, sadness taking over her when she thought of the girl and saw that terrified look in her dark brown eyes.
"This really sucks. I don't think I'm meant to be pregnant. Well I know I'm not. I'm the least maternal person on the planet. I'm selfish. I'm a bitch."
"I'm sorry."
"You probably think I'm a terrible person, don't you?"
"Why? No, I don't think you're bad and it's okay if you don't like being like this."
Santana sat down, bringing her knees up to her chest.
"You… you don't have to help me, you know." Santana looked up at her in obvious embarrassment as Brittany didn't leave her side when she was hunched over and dry heaving.
"I want to." Brittany rubbed Santana's shoulder gently and the girl flinched at first before seemingly relaxing into her touch. Santana stared at her as if it was the first time anyone had ever tried to touch her with kindness. She looked at her with suspicion.
"Why?"
"I like you." Brittany admitted honestly in a soft voice. She was kind of unsure how close Santana would allow her to get to her without lashing out. Santana tensed up, her eyes round in shock and her lips parted, completely silent as if she had no idea what to say to that.
Then sure enough, she flipped around fast and cornered Brittany, panting heavily as her face screwed up in fear and anger. She was so aggressive that Brittany probably should have been more afraid but for some reason she wasn't. She just felt more pity for the girl.
"Why- why would you- you don't even know me! Is this some kind of prank they put you up to, huh? Is this your idea of a joke? Is this the part where you tell your Cheerio friends how pathetic I am and post some video of me online for everyone to laugh at? 'Cause I'm from Lima Heights - don't you know what I could do to you and those stupid bitches?! Aren't you afraid?"
"Huh? I'm not afraid. You look really scared though."
Brittany just stared at her blankly with innocent blue eyes as Santana continued to rant. Then the darker girl began to sob in the middle of her frustrated angry rant.
"Santana, no. It's not like that. I promise, I'm not trying to hurt you. Oh, please don't cry."
Surprisingly, Santana let her put her arm around her shoulders without punching her or snapping at her. Somehow they made it to the Lopez mansion in one piece and Santana breathed an audible sigh of relief, groaning audibly.
It was clear at the moment when Brittany parked very badly in the driveway that the Latina was stressed out and beyond overwhelmed. She was hurting so badly. She looked at Brittany nervously, fidgeting with her hands but seemed genuinely grateful.
"Thanks." The dark-haired girl muttered politely in a tiny voice before strutting off with that same very defeated, numb look in her eyes as she walked into her house.
"Hey," She called to the darker girl. "Santana, um… if you ever need anyone to talk to, I'm here."
Santana looked up at her in stunned silence before finally grunting and scowling as she walked away with a swagger. Brittany was intrigued by the girl and it hurt so much to think about Santana being all alone, clearly without a single friend in the world.
She couldn't help but feel that the girl was misunderstood and there was much more to her than how the town saw her. She just knew there was more to her than all hard aggression when she looked into those soulful dark eyes. Maybe Santana just needed someone to tame her.
Although she asked around about the girl, no one seemed to know how Santana was doing after she eventually stopped going to classes. It was obvious that Santana wasn't going to graduate senior year with the rest of them. For some reason all she could think about was the Latina and she felt this magnetism toward her. The next time Brittany saw Santana was around six months later in the most expensive private hospital in Lima in the middle of August.
Brittany on her way back from visiting her childhood friend Mike Chang a few floors above after a skateboarding accident he had been in when she saw a familiar, angry and fearful but so pretty face, along with glossy black hair. Santana was just lying on her side in the small bed without anyone else around. Well anyone except a baby in a bassinet nearby. Brittany was so happy that the little baby had been born. She saw it as good news that there was a new little life in the world despite the depressed state Santana was obviously in.
She looked angrier and more stressed than Brittany had ever seen her, turned onto her side and staring listlessly at the wall. Brittany realized that Santana hadn't noticed her yet.
"Hi, Santana! I don't know if you remember me," Brittany started to say in a cheerful voice as she approached her. "How are you feeling?"
Santana's eyes widened and she sat up quickly, alarmed. It was clear that someone from her school seeing her like this was the last thing she expected or wanted. She had no makeup on and was wearing her typical messy clothes, so someone from school seeing her in this state seemed to embarrass her even more.
"Brittany?"
The blonde's expression brightened, some part of her a little elated that the girl even remembered her name.
"Congrats, Santana."
"What are you doing here?"
Just then, Santana's baby started crying at full volume. His piercing shrieks immediately caught the girls' attention. Brittany saw how Santana winced and seemed very uncomfortable as well as confused. Brittany knew how to care for babies and immediately went over to pick the newborn up.
"Oh you're a little boy, that figures," She giggled, rocking the baby very gently. She noticed the bright blue beanie on his tiny head and the baby blue blanket that was loosely wrapped around him. Somehow, she just knew Santana would have a boy. Just like she knew he'd be gorgeous like Santana. He immediately stopped crying as Brittany cradled him and talked to him softly in the sweetest voice. "Hi precious Baby Boy. You look just like your mom right down to those dark brown eyes and dimples."
Santana looked up at her stunned as the baby fell silent and clung to Brittany tightly, curling closer to her.
"How did you do that? He has never stopped crying just like that."
"He's just a cute little kitten, aren't you, Sweetie?" Brittany cooed to the baby and he made these soft, sweet noises, clinging to her. Brittany noticed that Santana kept staring at her with amazement. "You're the prettiest baby I've ever seen. So beautiful just like your mom."
Brittany heard Santana inhale sharply and noticed a red flush to her face. The girl cleared her throat nervously. She was so flustered, it made Brittany smile to see her dipping her head bashfully.
"W-what did you just call him?"
"Kitten," Brittany giggled, stroking the back of the baby's head. He already had some wisps of fine dark hair. "He's a baby kitten."
"That's what I've been calling him. How did you know?"
"I didn't know. It's just what he reminds me of." Brittany shrugged and adjusted him in her arms. She wasn't sure if Santana was going to be offended but the girl just watched her in awe.
"You're really good at that."
"Thanks. I've always wanted to be a mommy." Brittany left out the part about how in her fantasies about being a mother, her baby had always been a boy with dark hair and eyes who looked strikingly similar to this little one.
"Oh. I never did." Santana whispered in a barely audible voice that was filled with shame and hurt, her expression darkening. Brittany longed to ask her more about what she meant and felt sorry for the girl but she held back.
"He'll like to be swaddled like this," Brittany explained, wrapping the tiny baby up in the blue blanket. The baby seemed to really enjoy the swaddling and relaxed a lot more as soon as Brittany did that. "It makes him feel calm and secure, like he's snuggled up with you. Aw, you're a sweet happy little soul, aren't you, Baby?"
Brittany noticed how tired Santana looked as she yawned, a listless look in her eyes as the small TV on the wall played something neither of them were paying attention to.
"I don't mind holding him for a little while longer if you want to nap. You look really tired."
"Brittany, you don't have to… you'd really do that?" Santana asked in surprise. Brittany just nodded. "I don't want to hold you back from whatever your plans are to just end up stuck here holding my baby and watching me sleep."
"It's fine. I don't have any other plans anyway for today and it's really nice holding him." Brittany replied, lowering her voice as the baby began to nod off in her arms, to the relief of both girls. "What's his name?"
"Kenai." Santana whispered in her raspy voice after a long moment of silence. Brittany loved how his name was a little different and unusual but still so cute sounding.
"Oh that's so pretty. Pretty name for the prettiest baby in existence."
Santana sucked in a breath.
"I… I don't know how to thank you, Brittany."
"It's fine. I'll be here when you wake up."
Santana looked up at Brittany fifteen minutes later after a nap. The blonde was still cradling the newborn in her arms and they both were content. Brittany was surprised when Santana spoke up.
"He really likes you. He never cuddled up to anyone or smiled like that before."
"I really like him too. You still look so tired. You can sleep more if you want."
"Sorry. I basically haven't slept in days, as you can probably tell."
"Oh, I almost forgot. There's something I need to get. I'll be right back." Brittany whispered, setting the baby down for a moment as Santana tilted her head to the side in confusion. When the blonde returned, she was carrying a gift bag and she took out a plushie, showing it to Kenai who was fascinated with it and instantly stopped whimpering when Brittany came back.
"Here you go. A little lion for a little Leo." Brittany announced excitedly.
"Oh, you didn't have to get us anything, Brittany. That's really kind of you." Santana mumbled awkwardly, looking down at her hands. "Thank you."
"Santana," A middle-aged, Hispanic woman who Brittany guessed was Santana's mother walked in minutes later. The woman stared at Brittany holding the baby for a long moment, her eyebrow raised as she noticed how the blonde girl had the baby swaddled and realized she was singing a lullaby softly to him. Then her gaze drifted to the lion plushie on the bed beside Santana. "Oh, sorry. I didn't realize you had company. A friend from school?"
Santana opened her mouth, beginning to say something but cut herself off, glancing at the taller girl awkwardly as if she wasn't sure what to say. Brittany just nodded with a bright smile, keeping her voice low as she rocked Kenai gently.
"Hi, are you Mrs. Lopez? I hope I'm not intruding. I just had to meet Santana's baby. He's beautiful."
"Thank you. That's fine," The woman responded after a while. "You can call me Maribel."
"I'm Brittany S. Pierce," After a few minutes had passed, Brittany noticed the tension between Santana and her mother as they remained silent. She wondered if they felt like they couldn't talk freely around her. "So it was so nice seeing you guys but I probably should get going."
Kenai instantly screamed and started kicking fiercely when Brittany handed him back to Santana. Brittany frowned, noticing the way Santana's face fell when the baby began to fuss again. She looked so worried, as if she didn't know what to do to help her son.
"Don't worry, Baby Kitten. I'll see you soon." Brittany chirped, giving him one last kiss and waving to the three of them as she reluctantly went away. She bit her lip when she heard Kenai's continual cries and every instinct she had told her to go to him but she couldn't. As much as she felt this strange, deep connection with Santana and the baby, she didn't want to overstep anymore boundaries and the Lopezes made it clear they'd rather be left alone.
A week later, Brittany rode over to the Lopez house on her bike, remembering where it was from the last time she had been there. She hadn't heard from Santana despite giving her number to her and she just had a feeling in her bones that she needed to be there. It was more like a hacienda style mansion than a regular house and it surprised Brittany that all this time, they lived just a few blocks away from each other without even knowing it.
All she could hear was the baby's high-pitched wailing, along with Santana shouting back and forth with her mother. Eventually, a door slammed. The blonde winced, but skipped up to the door, undeterred. Maribel looked at her in surprise when she opened it, her eyebrows raised but sighed, moving past the girl as she walked briskly toward her car. She seemed very embarrassed.
"Oh, it's you, Brittany. I'm sorry you probably heard all that. You're welcome to go up to Santana, if she'll let you. I have to go get some air, as you can tell my daughter and I aren't exactly getting along. She doesn't feel like she needs to take responsibility for anything."
The woman walked briskly after that, a set frown on her face and didn't wait for the blonde to reply as she was clearly still furious with her daughter.
The Lopez mansion was so large and empty, with a cold atmosphere to it. It was no wonder Santana felt so sad when she lived there all the time and probably didn't have any company. Brittany cautiously crept down to the basement, hearing the baby's sharp cries coming from below and immediately knowing that would be where Santana was.
"What are you doing here?" Santana snarled through gritted teeth, waves of anger rolling off of her when she noticed Brittany standing in front of her. It was clear that the darker woman had no interest in anyone's company but Brittany wasn't afraid of her.
"I wanted to see you. You look like you could use some help."
"I don't need any help!" Santana eventually snapped, although Brittany noticed the way her dark brown eyes softened and for a moment she looked almost hopeful before switching to her defensive persona again. "I don't need anyone!"
Brittany rolled her eyes, noticing the clothes that had been thrown everywhere in Santana's room. It was a complete mess. Santana looked like she hadn't slept or eaten for ages. Her long black hair was messy and curly, rather than in its usual immaculate state and she was wearing just a pair of old black sweatpants with a baggy shirt.
The blonde spent most of her time rushing around and cleaning up whatever she could, in the middle of trying to deal with the incredibly fussy baby while Santana groaned and lay in bed, staring at the wall in her depressed state.
Brittany eventually began to cook, throwing together some soup on the spot with Maribel's help when she eventually returned that night. The older woman seemed shocked that Brittany was still around and kept sending long-suffering glances in the direction of the basement as she shook her head. The older woman held her grandson in her arms most of the time, attending to all of his needs while Santana was supposed to be sleeping.
"Good luck. I doubt she'll touch it. She never eats anything I cook." Maribel huffed as she saw Brittany going down to the basement.
Santana just watched Brittany quietly, her brows drawn together in confusion but didn't move from her position when she brought a bowl of soup up to her on a tray.
"Please eat just a little, San." Brittany sat beside her curled up form on the bed. Santana wrinkled her nose but Brittany noticed the way her eyes lit up in interest.
"I can't eat."
"Not even just a little? For me? I think you might like it."
Santana eventually sat up and even allowed Brittany to feed her a tiny amount from a spoon. Brittany smiled in relief when she gradually began to eat a little more, despite all her protests and how she acted all uninterested. The blonde was elated when she ate half of the bowl.
"You're a good cook and I guess I was really hungry." The darker-haired girl finally admitted, laying back on the bed and watching her.
"Thanks. Told ya," Brittany quipped with a half smile as Santana began to look a little more like herself as she sat up. "Now okay I'm really into the whole musky beast thing you have going on but you're really sweaty right now and you should really take a shower."
Santana blushed, hiding her face behind her hands at Brittany's teasing. The blonde thought it was adorable when the darker-haired girl immediately pulled her pants leg down when it rode up and she caught Brittany staring in that direction.
"Oh I like your little five o'clock shadow. I guess winter is coming… in another four months."
Santana shook her head, mortified but eventually joined in with Brittany's giggles.
"For the record, I always shave my legs. Just so you know. They're almost always perfectly smooth and soft. Not hairy."
"Me too. Good to know," Brittany smirked and Santana eventually moved toward her adjoining bathroom with that same redness in her face and flustered expression whenever she met the blonde's gaze. "Hey, don't be embarrassed. It's cute. I like an earthy woman."
"Ugh." Santana muttered, practically tripping over herself at the teasing but glancing back in Brittany's direction one last time curiously as she shut the bathroom door behind her.
The next day, Brittany came over again to make sure Santana was alright. The Latina looked exhausted again and it was clear from her miserable expression that she'd had another long, sleepless night. The blonde sat in a chair beside Santana's bed, holding Kenai in her arms when he fell asleep on her again.
Santana looked at her in relief as it was the first time for the day that he had stopped crying or fussing. She was always amazed at how well Brittany could figure out the baby's needs. Brittany knew just how to soothe him whenever he was uncomfortable and something about her presence seemed to calm him down.
When Kenai woke up again, he began to sniffle again and it was clear that he wanted something. Santana looked up weakly, her cheeks turning red when the baby began to reach for Brittany's chest. By the way he was grabbing for them and clenching his little fists, he really wanted those boobs.
"Oh…" Brittany laughed, taking it in her stride and adjusted him in her arms. "He's hungry for sure."
"It's alright. I can take him." Santana eventually said, sounding very uncomfortable. Brittany passed him gently to Santana as he began to cry. The blonde noticed that Santana got this anxious look on her face and realized that the girl was probably really embarrassed to feed him around someone else.
"It's okay, Santana. I'll just go upstairs and give you some privacy if you need some alone time."
"No, it's not that. It's just… he doesn't want to do that from me all of a sudden. My mom says it's because I've been so stressed out and it's making him stressed too…" Then she glanced down, her face becoming more flushed and her voice sounding mortified. "I tried a lot but he kept biting me. It's just not working."
Santana's eyes filled with tears and she seemed ashamed. The bubbly blonde's smile fell and she reached over to touch Santana's arm gently, noticing the way Santana's black eyes widened when she did that. It was so heartbreaking to hear about all of the struggles Santana was going through. The black-haired girl groaned loudly, wincing when Kenai began to whimper in discomfort then scream. He had a powerful scream, that was for sure. He had definitely inherited Santana's lung capacity.
"Oh, poor little sweetie," Brittany took Kenai into her arms again as Santana looked like she was on the verge of tears due to her frustration and embarrassment. She held him close again and the boy stopped fussing as much, resting his cheek against the warm skin of her chest. "See? It's okay. I got you. He just wants to feel warm and safe, don't you, Baby Boy?"
The two girls look at each other in amazement when Kenai began to suckle through Brittany's shirt unexpectedly, trying to get to a nipple.
"Oh… he's doing that," Brittany laughed. Santana hid her face in her hands and a deep flush rose to her face as she looked anywhere else but the blonde's direction. "I wish I could nurse you, Baby."
Kenai kept whimpering and reaching for Brittany, nuzzling into her chest and she took pity on him.
"I heard that even if you're not pregnant you can still nurse a baby. This might sound crazy but would you be offended if I fed him like that?"
Santana was silent for a long moment and Brittany was sure she would be too uncomfortable with the idea but to her surprise, the black-haired girl just met her eyes with exhausted, dark ones that didn't hold any irritation or jealousy at the idea of someone else caring for her child in this way, the way another girl might. In fact, Santana looked beyond relieved.
"You would really do that? No… I'm not offended. I don't want to make you uncomfortable though. You don't have to. You barely know me."
Brittany wasn't sure how to explain it to Santana but somehow Kenai was different from other babies for her. She felt connected with him from the moment they met, almost as if he was her own son and that was partially why she felt okay with the idea. She knew that if she said any of that, it would probably just scare Santana off.
"It doesn't bother me at all," Brittany saw how flushed Santana's face still remained and turned to face the other direction, pulling her shirt and bra out of the way to allow the baby to nurse from her. The door to Santana's room was closed and she was sitting in a corner where no one would really be able to see her if they walked by, not that she particularly cared if anyone did. "There you go, Kitten."
"Um I don't think that'll happen right away. You'd have to ask the doctor how to do that, Britt," Santana explained with a chuckle. Brittany's face fell when it didn't work. The darker-haired girl's face was still flushed deeply as she avoided her eyes. Brittany smirked, noticing the way Santana's gaze flicked down to her cleavage for a moment too long and how she cleared her throat nervously. "I-If you wanted to, next time I go we could talk to her about this when I go for a check-up. If you still want to, I mean."
"We'll do that. For now, I'll go get you your bottle, Baby Boy." Brittany cooed to Kenai, who finally stopped whimpering when she held him in her arms and gave him his milk. He was so tiny and could only drink small amounts at a time very slowly but Brittany was patient with him, gently rubbing his back when he was done.
Maribel wasn't exactly fond of the idea and looked at Brittany with that same perplexed expression she always had around the bubbly blonde but she shrugged, obviously not wanting to argue with her daughter when they brought up the idea to her at dinner.
As days turned into weeks of Brittany visiting the Lopezes, Santana's moods went up and down but she was usually in a state of depression and anger when Brittany went to visit her. Eventually Maribel allowed Brittany to stay in their guest room so she could sleep over and help out with the baby. More often than not, Brittany would eventually slip in beside Santana in her bed but the darker-haired girl always became so flustered about this, as if she wanted to make sure to put space between them and tensed up when Brittany was laying beside her.
It was an unusual arrangement for the two eighteen year olds but Brittany had a feeling that the Lopezes were desperate for help and Santana was lonely. Santana constantly had arguments with her mother and eventually the two stopped trying to even hide their verbal shouting matches from the blonde.
Brittany liked being with the baby constantly, bathing him, feeding him and playing with him but she pouted when Santana showed little interest in what the blonde or her mother were doing with Kenai. Santana only wanted to hide in her room and sleep most of the time or complain about things. She didn't understand why Santana was acting that way. The blonde was bouncing Kenai in her arms but he kept looking at Santana and reaching for her. Brittany sighed and eventually put the baby down when Santana didn't look at him.
"Santana, don't you want to hold him? I think he needs his mom too."
Santana shook her head, grunting as she rolled over and curled into a ball when the baby began to whimper again in his bassinet beside her bed, reaching out towards her with his little hands. The teen girl seemed awkward and afraid.
"There's no point. I don't want this life. It's like I'm cursed. I just want to be a normal teenager! I never even wanted to be a mom and I don't know what to do with a baby! I can't be a mother to him!"
Brittany gasped, glancing in the direction of the innocent baby who began wailing again at the harsh sound of Santana's voice.
"I know you don't really mean that. You're just frustrated and depressed."
That seemed to set Santana off as she finally threw back the sheets and stood up, glaring at the blonde with her hands clenched at her sides. She panted heavily as she approached her with her brows drawn together in fury and her teeth clenched as she growled.
"Yes I do! How would you know?! Don't pretend you know anything about me!"
Brittany felt her eyes sting with unshed tears, her throat choked up and dry as Santana glared at her. She began to sob, her cheeks feeling flushed as she stood there and noticed Santana wiping tears from her own cheeks as well. She knew Santana was going through a lot of stress and trauma but she needed her. As strange as it sounded, Brittany sometimes felt as if she herself was a single mother with Kenai as her own son.
"You know what, I love caring for him but maybe you should take some responsibility and actually try to be his mom instead of expecting me and your mother to do everything!" She finally snapped, picking up the now crying baby and pressing him to her chest.
The taller girl cradled Kenai in her arms, running out of her room with one last heartbroken glance in Santana's direction as she stormed away. Santana watched her in shock, speechless as if she hadn't expected Brittany's reaction at all.
Brittany couldn't deny how upset she still felt but she was shocked to see Santana all showered and dressed up a few hours later. The Latina was calmer now, her hair brushed, everything about her perfectly groomed and she kept glancing at Brittany apologetically as she stood there nervously. It was the first time she had ever seen Santana make so much of an effort in her appearance since the glory days when she was the one of the most popular girls at school. It was like she was finally back to her normal self, the way Brittany remembered her and she couldn't deny the wave of attraction she felt towards the Latina.
Maribel had gone to bed hours ago and the two girls were alone in the living room area. Brittany didn't say anything for a long moment. The more Brittany was silent toward her the more Santana kept trying to get her attention and there was this innocent, vulnerable look in her black eyes that melted Brittany's heart in spite of the argument they had earlier. Kenai began to squirm and Brittany checked his diaper, thinking that might be the problem. Santana looked over at her nervously as she reached for her whimpering baby.
"I- I'll change him."
Brittany looked up at her, not expecting that. She could tell Santana wasn't good at handling diaper changes especially and it was always Maribel or Brittany who handled that part of things.
"Are you sure?"
"It's okay. I know you did it before so many times today… and I didn't even do anything to help you or my mom then or all of those other days. It's the least I can do."
The blonde watched, smiling as Santana fumbled a lot and kept staring at the diaper as if she didn't know what to do next. It was really endearing to see Santana making such a big effort even though she clearly was terrified and had no idea what to do. She began to take off his wet diaper as the baby squirmed and kicked her.
"Wait, Santana-" Brittany started to say, trying to warn her but it was too late because Santana's face and shirt were now soaked in urine as she stared at him in alarm. She couldn't stop giggling at the expression on Santana's face and the baby even looked like he was laughing too. "Uh oh. Oops."
"He always does that to me when I do this." Santana groaned.
"Yeah, that's what baby boys do. You need to cover him when you do that. Here, let me show you," The blonde stepped in, noticing that Santana was still having a rough time and showed her then took over and finished the job. "Next time, slip off his diaper like this and work really fast so he can't get you but he probably still will."
"How are you such an expert at this?"
"I guess you could say I've had a lot of experience with my cousins and babysitting for everyone," Brittany shrugged and poked Kenai in the belly softly then tickled him. "This little one is my favourite, though."
"I can't believe he peed on me."
"I can. You should have seen your face." Brittany giggled again.
Santana went to change her clothes. When she came back, her face softened as she watched the blonde girl walking over to the couch to breastfeed the baby when he began fussing again. With help from the doctor, the blonde had been able figure out how to do that. Brittany adjusted him so that he finally latched onto her and stopped whimpering. Santana stroked the baby's dark head absently as she moved closer to the blonde, slipping an arm around her shoulders. .
In moments like these, when they were so physically close to each other it was difficult to ignore how attractive Santana was and how it felt like they were two young parents living together with a baby of their own. Brittany couldn't deny that her hormones were going crazy the longer she lived with Santana and she longed for more.
"He's really cute." Santana admitted softly. Brittany beamed at her, watching her closely as she took him from her and cradled him, taking him to his cradle to put him to sleep. Brittany stood up and showed Santana how to carry him properly. It was the first time the blonde had seen the girl holding her son like that, with a loving look in her eyes rather than one of fear, as if she felt connected to him.
"I'm proud of you, San. You're doing so well." Brittany whispered to her when she returned.
"Brittany, I'm sorry. It really… broke my heart when I saw you cry. You were right and you didn't deserve me yelling at you like that. My son didn't either. I've been so selfish and immature. I'm sorry for hurting you like that. This whole situation… I didn't exactly plan on having this kid."
Santana never mentioned anything about the father of the baby and Brittany didn't want to ask, knowing how uncomfortable and ashamed Santana was of the whole situation in the first place. She seemed to be able to tell what Brittany was thinking.
It was quite obvious by now that Maribel and Santana were the only ones who interacted with Kenai and there was no other parent involved in his life at all. There were no other visitors or calls to the Lopez house from other family members, aside from one angry visit from Abuela and Santana's father, Antonio, who had both been cold and detached from Santana.
"That Clayton Devereaux idiot and his parents don't want anything to do with the baby. It's better that they don't, though. If it was up to them they'd probably have him put up for adoption or just abandon the kid but they refused to admit their precious blondie all American golden boy played any role in this. They told me to… get rid of it when I was pregnant but I couldn't. Apparently according to them I'm just some dumb slut and the baby could have been for any one of the guys around town."
"They're wrong. I don't think you're like that.
"Yeah the truth is… everything has these ideas about me but I don't even… Brittany… there's something you should know," Santana took a deep breath and Brittany saw her hands trembling as she faced her, her voice also shaking. "He's the father of the kid but I never liked Clayton at all. I had to get blackout drunk just to be able to do that with a guy… then I threw up after, when I thought of what I had done. It was the worst I've ever felt."
Brittany was stunned into silence, wincing and feeling terrible for Santana.
"Why did you feel you needed to force yourself to do that? To harm yourself like that?"
"I can't make myself like boys even though I tried so hard." Santana started to sob, tears rolling down her cheeks and Brittany reached out to touch her face, feeling such pity for the girl. Santana just seemed more miserable and terrified than ever as Brittany watched her worriedly.
"Being different to everyone else is the worst. I didn't want to be gay anymore. I didn't want other people to think I was either. I was so embarrassed of myself. I thought if everyone saw me as the straight Cheerio who hooked up with the most popular jock it would fix all my problems. I thought it might make me… normal for once. It just made everything worse," Santana finally admitted. "I've never told anyone except my mom but I'm… gay. I'm only into girls… I tried so hard to like boys too because I wanted to fit in but I just can't. This is just who I am. So there it is, the big rumour everyone spreads about me is true. If you're totally disgusted with me and want to leave then I guess I understand."
The blonde shook her head as Santana folded her arms, her face tense and her body trembling slightly.
"Shh… Santana, I knew that already."
Santana's eyes widened.
"You did? Of course Quinn and those bitches on the Cheerios talked about me behind my back."
"No, I knew before that. No one had to tell me."
"How? The p-party when you saw me?"
Brittany shrugged.
"No. Before I saw you kiss her even. I don't know. I think I just knew. I know you. It's like knowing your hair is dark and your eyes are brown. It's just a part of you and I know you, Santana. You are normal."
Santana was silent for a long moment, visibly relieved.
"Thanks, Brittany. Everything used to be a fight before I met you. I was just so miserable all the time. You just make everything so clear. I don't know how everything always feels so easy with you," She whispered. "So good… and so easy… so light. I don't know how you always make everything better. It's like everything makes sense now."
"I was always so into you," Brittany admitted softly. "I'd watch you from afar, when you'd be all powerful and fighting those people. I wanted you so badly."
Santana was silent again, her eyes wide at Brittany's words.
"Wanted me? Brittany, you… ?"
"You know I would have carried your baby for you if I could. I love him," Brittany sighed, as they inched closer together, tracing the edge of Santana's chin up to her jaw with her fingertips. She gently took Santana's wrist, encouraging her to place her hand on her lower belly and they both gasped at the idea Brittany presented. "I would carry all your babies in a heartbeat."
Santana took one look into her clear blue eyes and covered her mouth with hers, finally breaking the tension that had been growing between them since the moment they met. Brittany sighed into the kiss, instantly giving in as her hands gripped into black hair. She threw her arms around her shoulders and pulled her close.
Maybe the Latina had been with some other girls before her but Santana kissed her desperately, clinging to her and it was obvious to Brittany that the girl had never been touched, or kissed or held in the loving way the blonde caressed her. They made it to Santana's bedroom, barely breaking apart from each other the entire time and she pushed Brittany back on the bed, only separating from her briefly to glance at the baby sleeping in the crib nearby.
"It's okay." Brittany whispered to her, sensing her hesitance and trying to communicate to her with her eyes that she didn't need to hold back.
"I love you." Santana blurted, caught up in emotion and then seemed shocked by her own admission, cupping her hand over her own mouth.
Brittany just pulled her into a deep kiss, smiling against her lips as her palms ran over her strong shoulders and back, pulling her closer. Santana reached down to pull the sheets over them for privacy as they gave in to their passion when they couldn't help it anymore.
"Good because I'm so in love with you too and I wanted you… that day at the party, I wished I was her and you were doing that to me instead of her."
She gasped, clinging to her more tightly when Santana slipped fingers into wet heat without warning. It was just as perfect as she always expected it would be, being held and taken by Santana like this. They made sure to be as quiet as possible. Brittany came, whimpering into the pillow as Santana roughly kissed her neck and claimed her body before rubbing herself along her smooth, pale thigh and following her over the edge.
Santana held her close in the afterglow, pressing kisses along her bare shoulder and any part of her skin within reach as Brittany caressed the girl's bare skin, memorizing every inch of her body. Santana's body was so firm and small, her skin smooth against hers.
"When we're married it'll be easier for us to live together. We'll have our own mansion and I'll buy you anything you want."
"When we're married?" The blonde whispered in awe.
"I'd love to marry you someday, Brittany," Santana blushed, dipping her chin bashfully. "I know we're really young but we could be a family, the three of us, one day."
"I'd love that," She sighed happily against Santana's neck, then she smirked and grabbed the darker-haired girl's wrist, pressing Santana's palm against her own pale stomach. "Maybe some more babies too."
"You'd be an amazing mom. You already are."
"I can't explain it but he feels like he's my son too."
"That's how it feels to me too, whenever I see the two of you together and I think he feels the same way," Santana cuddled closer to her, shifting so that she was lying on her back and Brittany rested her head against her chest. "You've done so much for us, Brittany and taught me a lot. I don't know what we would have done without you."
"I wouldn't trade it for the world." Brittany grinned and they both laughed when Kenai began to wail, interrupting their kiss. The blonde immediately jumped up to see to the baby but Santana kissed her cheek, assuring her that she would handle it.