Hey guys! Just wanted to say thank you for all of you who are still reading this story. I really appreciate all the support. I know it's been a minute since I last updated, but it has been a busy summer. Now that the kids are back in school I'm hoping to update more regularly :). I hope you guys like my next update and please let me know what you think!
Charlie's POV –
"Anna we're running late for work and if you don't have your shoes on and are at the door in the next two minutes, I'm going to be very unhappy with you." I call out as I pour some coffee into my thermos.
The morning had gone anything but smoothly so far. First, I had woken up in a cold sweat, my lip sore from biting back a scream. Then the water had refused to heat up, leaving me no other choice but to take an icy shower. It was followed swiftly when my shirt sleeve ripped at the elbow and I couldn't find another shirt in better condition, forcing me to face the fact that it's time to either do laundry or buy new clothes. As if none of that was enough, I had dropped my favorite, and only, coffee mug in the sink. It shattered instantly, along with any hope of today being any better than yesterday. As if to prove my point Anna was anything but her usual well-behaved self. She woke with vengeance. We're already three tantrums into the day and it wasn't even 8am yet. My body moves around the kitchen quickly as I grab my thermos, diaper bag, and keys. By the time I'm grabbing our coats I'm forced to face the fact that Anna is definitely not waiting by the door. Groaning, I rub a hand over my face and toss our stuff down on the dining room table.
"Anna!" I yell, only to be met with a grouchy scream from the back of the house. Walking back towards the room I feel my frustration grow. "We're thirty minutes late and today is our staff meeting. I don't have time for this!"
"NOOOOOOOOOO!" She screams back.
Entering the room I find quite the sight. Anna sits on the floor with tears rolling down her bright red cheeks as she kicks her bare feet and lets out a scream I'm not even sure would register on a decibel humans could hear. Her boots are scattered around the room as she frantically tugs at the jeans I had dressed her in earlier.
"What is going on with you?!" I ask, feeling my patience running thin. Reaching down I grab up the socks she had ripped off. "You've been a saint since we've been here, and you choose the one day we have a staff meeting to turn into a scene from the exorcist."
Her screaming now involves slapping and clawing at my arms as I force her feet back into her socks and boots. Groaning and trying not to scream myself, I quickly scoop the feral toddler into my arms and stalk out of the house with barely enough thought to grab our things. Loading her into her car seat takes me five minutes as she fights against me with all her might, and the drive to work almost feels longer than our cross-country drive. Against all my efforts to calm her, we arrive at work an hour late and I'm completely fried. Throwing the truck in park, I turn around in my seat and fix the distraught toddler with a stern look.
"Anna, I'm really trying here baby." I try calmly. "If you don't stop screaming, how am I supposed to know how to help you?"
Her screaming lowers into passionate crying and I reach back to rub her leg to soothe her, but she just kicks out at my touch harshly. Turning around, I fight back tears of frustration. I need to go into work, but there was no way I'm taking her in like this. Unbuckling, I reach into the back and unbuckle her. She thrashes against me, shrieking shrilly, as I pull her to the front and onto my lap. She kicks and hits at me as I turn her to face forward in my lap, hugging her from behind as I shush in her ear. I don't know how long the two of us stay that way, but eventually her shrieks and screams lower into low cries and she leans back against me. The sound of knocking, eventually, makes me jump, but to my surprise she doesn't budge. Looking down I find her asleep in my arms. Dried tears and crusted snot cover her cheeks and I sigh. Looking out the window, I'm met with the sight of Emily and Dean.
"Hey." I say lamely after rolling down the window. My embarrassment is squashed when she smiles at me in a warm understanding way.
"Rough morning?" She says rhetorically.
"Yeah." I sigh. The real reason for this fit surface in my mind painfully. "She doesn't want to go inside. There was an incident with a customer yesterday and…you already know…don't you?"
"Word gets around." She says with an apologetic shrug. "To be honest, I had a feeling she might do this. It's why I'm here."
"That's sweet of you, but I don't know what you can do. We have to go in, I'm already…" Glancing at the clock I gasp. I was officially two hours late to work. "I'm so late!"
"Let me take her." Emily says, interrupting my panicking. My gaze shoots to her in shock. "She can play with Dean and have some of the cookies I plan on making."
"Emily, that's super nice of you, but I can't possibly do that to you." I tell her, feeling my stomach drop at the thought of being separated from Anna.
"I know it's a big step. I'm sure you haven't been apart from Anna in a very long time, but I honestly don't mind." She says firmly. I barely have time to wonder if she can read minds when she keeps talking. "Please don't take this in a bad way, but it's obvious yesterday triggered some deep trauma. She's not going to go back in there…at least not today. Please, let me take her home."
I may not like it, but my face when we first arrived had left no doubt of what we had come from previously. Emily's words rang with truth and common sense. I'd forgotten that just because Anna is so good most of the time, didn't mean she doesn't have the same trauma I do. Yesterday had triggered her deeply and, for now, the shop didn't feel safe to her anymore. No amount of trying would get her back in there while the fear is so fresh.
"What if she doesn't ever want to go back?" I ask honestly. "There's no daycare on the reservation. Even if there is, I can't afford it right now."
"This is where having family comes in handy." Her tone lightens and she smiles at me again. "The pack is family. We watch out and support each other. You are more than welcome to drop Anna off whenever you have work. I'd be happy to watch her, and I won't take your money either."
"I can't not pay you, Emily." I object, trying to push away the way my heart jumps at her including me in her idea of family.
"You can and you will." She insists as she opens the back and pulls out Anna's car seat, not waiting for me to say yes. "If you insist on paying me back, you'll let the pack be your family. That means Sunday dinners, bonfires, and even holidays sometimes."
"I couldn't impede on that." I protest, feeling my chest tighten. Jake's words from yesterday cross my mind. She's officially adopted you and Anna into the pack.
"You can and you will." She says as I step from the truck with Anna cradled against me. I follow her to her car and spot Jake coming outside with a smile. "No one should be without a family."
"I have Anna." I argue weakly.
"Now you have the pack." She says, fixing me with a happy smile.
I feel something shift inside me. Breaking open and flooding me. Something that pushes away the loneliness and fills me with warmth. I try to put a name to it, but it feels impossible. Blinking back tears, I nod at her just in time for Anna to stir. She sits up, rubbing at her eyes and tenses before her eyes lock on my face.
"Hey Anna bug." I tell her, kissing the one non crusty part of her cheek. "Do you want to go with Emily and play with Dean while I work?"
"Dean?" She yawns before perking up instantly. Hearing his name, the little boy tugs on her foot excitedly. "Dean!"
I set the, now energetic, toddler down and watch as she jumps around before dragging Dean into a big hug. Emily gives me an 'I told you so' look and I smile at her.
"Hey, I was wondering where you were." Jake says as he finally comes up to us. Emily takes this opportunity to install the seat in her car.
"I'm so sorry! Anna was…she…she's having a morning." I finish lamely.
"Don't worry about it. We've all been cleaning up the shop. No harm done." He waves away my anxiety, his eyes finding Anna. "I just wanted to come out and see if Emily was bowling you over."
"I don't bowl people over, I help." She argues from the backseat of her car.
"Jake!" Anna's voice interrupts all of us and she comes over shyly.
Looking up at him, she holds her arms up, looking as if waiting for him to reject her. He doesn't hesitate. Leaning down, he scoops her up and she wraps her arms around his neck and lays her head on his shoulder. He simply pats her back as he smiles down at Dean who looks put out at Anna's lack of attention. He shoots Jake an unhappy glare, before Emily grabs him and loads him into his car seat. I quickly run back to the truck and grab Anna's things and bring them over, handing them to Emily.
"She's pretty good at using the potty, but sometimes forgets to tell you she needs to go. I have a spare outfit in here and some of her favorite snacks." I tell Emily, feeling anxious despite everything. "If there are any problems, you have my number."
"I promise to give you updates and will call if there are any problems." She says, much to my relief. "Try not to worry too hard. I have a whole day of things to occupy her. I'll see you two after work, dinner will be ready at six. Don't be late."
I force myself to relax as I watch her get in the car. Anna waves at me with a smile, her mood significantly different than this morning as they drive away. A one part of myself wants to chase down the car and take Anna back. The other part of me acknowledges that it's time to let go.
"You okay?" Jake asks, walking to the truck with me so I can grab my thermos and keys.
"Yeah, it's just hard. I haven't been away from her since we got here." I tell him with a sigh. "It's hard not having her within reach."
"You can leave early if it gets to be too much." He says seriously. I feel the urge to drive away instantly, but push it away as a heavy truth settles in my mind.
"No. She's two years old and she needs to play with kids her age." I tell him honestly as we turn to walk to the shop. "Besides, she can't keep coming to work with me."
"You can keep bringing her, Charlie." He says, pulling me to a stop just outside the door. He pins me with a serious look. "None of us mind her being there and we all feel terrible about yesterday. It never should have happened."
"I'm not mad about yesterday. Only that man could control that." I tell him sincerely. "It's just that Anna needs more than me. She needs to be able to play and have more to her life than coming to work with me and coloring in the back room. It was great for short term, but if Emily is honestly okay with watching her, I think it's for the best. I really can't thank you enough though. You really saved my ass when I first got here."
He smiles brightly at me, and I feel my breath catch, before he lets go of my arm and holds the door open for me. Walking past him, I try to ignore the way my arm tingles from his touch or how my heart jumped in my chest when he smiled. I'm quick to clock in and get to work. Since I was almost 2.5 hours late to work, I was already behind everyone else in my Saturday morning duties. It was rare we worked on Saturdays, but once or twice a month we would come in for a staff meeting. After the meeting we'd get the shop in tip top shape in case of any inspections. Anna pulls at my mind the entire time. The separation from her feeling almost impossible as I move through my work. As if sensing my inner turmoil, the guys give me my space.
Emily stays true to her word. Every hour for the four hours I spend doing my tasks I get a text with a picture and small update. Each showing Anna smiling and stating she's doing wonderfully. I feel jealousy and a little hurt rise in me at how easily she seems to be adapting without me. Shaking the feeling and thoughts away, I grab my thermos and head into the back room. Most of the guys are sitting around drinking coffee and eating as they make joking jabs at each other. They all spare wide smiles for me as I fill my thermos up and join them.
"Damn girl, you need some new clothes." Quil teases me as he fingers the hole at my elbow. "Any more wear and tear and people will start putting spare change in your cup."
"Anymore of those garlic hot pockets and people will start handing you breath mints." I shrug at him as I take a sip of my coffee. The room fills with laughter and Quil tries to smell his breath.
"She's got you there." Jacob laughs as he enters the room.
"My breath doesn't stink." Quil pouts as everyone continues laughing at him.
"Right, just like you didn't eat Embry's pot roast." I scoff playfully as a plate of coffee cake and fruit salad is placed in front of me.
I ignore the cry of outrage and banter as I glance up to see Jake walking away. Something flutters in me, and I nibble at the food as everyone finally settles into meeting mode. It doesn't come as a surprise when we're informed that the San Diego shop is doing better than us. In my time here I'd come to realize this shop was one of a chain owned by Jake. He owned 10 shops altogether and each was in a city around the states. Each doing well and ran tightly by employees handpicked by Jake himself. San Diego, Miami, and Atlanta were the top earners. Expected since they mainly worked on high performance cars in those shops. The La Push shop mainly serviced everyday vehicles but did well considering. It was Jake's goal to get us up to par with the others anyway. He walks us through his plans to do so and I focus, taking notes to log in the computer later. Everyone pitches their thoughts and opinions and I log those too before the meeting is handed over to me.
"I was contacted by OSHA on Friday." I tell them, pausing when I'm met with a room full of groans. I hold my hands up in front of me. "Don't shoot the messenger."
"We just had them in two months ago!"
"Their last inspection was six months ago." I correct Jared. "They want to do another inspection and I went ahead and scheduled it on Monday two weeks from now. It gives everyone time to get anything left done."
"They don't visit the other shops as much." Quil grumbles.
"It doesn't matter. The shop needs to be perfect before then and I want everyone to follow every guideline in the book when they show up. No reason to give them an excuse to fine us." Jake sighs as he rubs a hand over his face.
"I also managed to get ahold of the warehouse. I think we should consider switching suppliers." I inform the table. "They've mixed up our orders four times in the last two months. It's costing us money having to send them to the other shops and I'm getting tired of having to fix their mistakes."
"I'll handle that tomorrow." Jared volunteers, smiling at me. "The foreman can be an asshole and I feel the need to yell at someone."
"Kim take away your gaming monitor again." Embry jabs at him with a smirk.
"No, I found out your mom wants me." He shoots back.
"Pay attention so we can get out of here." Quil snaps at them, glancing at the clock. "I told Brenda I'd pick up Claire from soccer practice."
"I also talked to David in New York. He says they messed up his order too. He's just as frustrated as me." I tell Jake as I get up and clean up my plate.
As if sensing that's all I have to say, he's quick to end the meeting and I watch the guys rush from the room to finish their tasks. Jake stays behind as he looks over my notes. Sitting down, I sip my coffee and watch his facial expressions.
"Have they really messed up this much?" He asks sounding surprised.
"If they keep this up, we'll be thrown through a loop when one day we don't have what we need." I nod as I point at the graph I had printed out.
"Jared will get it handled." He concedes. His eyes meet mine and he leans back in his seat. "How are you holding up?"
I don't have to question what he's asking about. Reflexively I check my phone and find a message with a picture of Anna and Dean passed out on the couch. My heart aches at the reminder of the separation, but I smile at the two toddlers.
"It's hard, but I'm sure it'll get easier. Plus, she's having a blast with Dean." I tell him as I lean back in my seat too.
"You know you can leave anytime." He says understandingly.
"I can't though. You're amazing for all the slack you give me, but in the end this is still a job." I tell him as my thoughts from throughout the day surface. "Anywhere else and I'd be expected to find childcare. I wouldn't be able to bring her to work. I wouldn't be able to just leave whenever I wanted and certainly not because I miss her. That's not how the world works. If I ever need to leave, I need to be able to know how to function with her more than a room away."
I'm met with silence and glance up from the table to find a panicked looking Jacob. Concern washes through me and I reach out instinctively and grab his hand. The touch sends a warmth through me, but this a warmth that I can deal with as it lacks the arousal the sip of tea had evoked in me yesterday. Jake's breathing is harsher than it was seconds ago, and I frown at him. He doesn't answer me, and I watch as his eyes take on a wild look.
"Are you okay?" I ask reaching forward to lay the back of my hand on his forehead. His skin burns hotly under my touch and I feel my frown deepen. "I think you have a fever."
"I run hot." He says in a strangled tone. His hand moves from under mine to grab my other from his forehead. "You're leaving? I thought you planned on staying?"
I lower my hand, but let it stay in his as I sigh. My eyes fix on his and something about his odd struggle tugs at me almost painfully.
"I don't plan on leaving, but things happen." I tell him and I look away, pulling my hand from his finally.
"What could happen?" He asks sounding alarmed as he stands up to pace in front of me.
This whole interaction is leaving me confused and I feel my walls rising back up in response. I don't say anything and look back down at the table as I try and figure out how to answer his odd response. In my mind it's simple. John. John is why I'd need to leave, but that's not something I'm ready to be able or willing to tell him.
"Things Jake." I finally sigh. "It's not important though because I don't plan on leaving."
"But you're ready to if you need to." He says, his tone taking on an almost accusing edge. I feel a flash of irritation go through me at his tone.
"Yes, but what is the problem with that? Why are you so freaked?" I ask frowning at him deeply.
"I'm not freaked." He says coming to a standstill.
"Yes, you are and I don't understand why." I argue with him, the flash growing to a shard.
"I'm not freaked, I'm worried." He argues back, the panic and alarm in his eyes melting into something distinctively heated. "I'm your friend and I'm allowed to worry about what would have you prepared to leave when you have a life here. Especially a life that gives Anna a life you claim you want for her. Why would you give that up for her?"
The words hit me like a Mack truck and I shoot to my feet. My chair clatters away from me. For the first time in years, I feel anger flood me and I don't try push it down. I let it fill me and let it out.
"Friend or not, you have no right!" I snap at him.
"I have every right!" His voice rises, but for once it doesn't leave me hiding within myself. No…no this time it leaves me with fire in my veins.
"You have no right!" I shout at him. "I don't plan on leaving, but if I want or need to leave then that is up to me and me alone. It would be my decision and the why is my business and only mine. If I wanted to tell you I would, but I don't so drop it!"
"Charlie!"
I snatch my jacket up from my chair and storm past him. I feel him following me but I ignore him as I grab my truck keys and clock out. How dare he. How dare he push me for answers I don't want to give. How dare he get mad that I won't give them to him. How dare he bring Anna into it. I feel white hot with anger as I stomp out the door with Jake hot on my heels.
"Charlie!" He growls at me halfway to my truck. I spin around and point a finger at his face.
"How dare you!" I snap at him, taking a step forward. He stops dead in his tracks and shock tints the heat in his eyes. "You don't get to question me like I'm some idiot just banging around in the dark. I have done everything in my power to pull together a life that I can breathe in. A life that provides Anna the stability she needs. I breathe for her. She is the reason I'm here and for you to QUESTION my parenting as if you know ANYTHING about our situation is going too far. What I decide is my choice. How I parent her is my choice. What I'm willing to share is my decision. If you're my friend you'd respect my boundaries. You have ZERO right to anything I'm not ready or willing to share! Now back off and leave me the hell alone!"
Spinning on my heel, I storm away. This time, he doesn't follow.
Jacob's POV –
"If pissing her off is your way of getting close to Charlie, you're doing a damn good job at it."
Sam's voice drags my attention away from the office ceiling. His face screams exaggeration and understanding at the same time as he moves from his spot in the doorway to sit in the chair on the other side of the desk. I heave a big sigh and rub my hands over my face.
"Here I thought I was doing a bang up job of it." I retort tiredly. Sam shakes his head at me.
"She showed up at the house five hours ago looking like a pissed off alley cat. Thought for a second she might start fires with that glare she's been hiding." He laughs amusedly. "Thought Emily was the only one that held that ability."
"Turns out Charlie has it in spades." I groan.
"You never question a mother's decisions." He says after our five-minute lapse of silence.
"She's too young to be a mother." I bite out, despite it being beside the point.
"We take what life hands us Jake." He says, eyes sharpening on me. "Their mother isn't in the picture and now she's left raising Anna. For all intents and purposes, she's her mother. She's the only mother she'll remember. That means you can't freak out and question her decisions."
"She said she was ready to leave." My hands shake as I say the words.
"She's not going anywhere." His voice is solid and spoken without doubts. "What she needed was your support, not for you to freak out over her need for a back-up plan. She doesn't understand where you're coming from or why you feel so strongly about even the thought of her leaving. She wasn't raised on our legends. Has no idea about the imprint. You need to relax or you're going to complicate matters more than they are. You need to apologize."
I don't say anything to him as I lean back in my chair to stare up at the ceiling again. Sam doesn't say anything either as he gets up and heads out of the office and into the shop. The look on Charlie's face fills my thoughts and I sigh. Her face flushed and eyes practically on fire, the color of them darkening to the color of the pines around us. In all the time she'd been here, I'd never seen her react in anger. I was almost convinced she didn't have any. Seeing it had surprised me as much as if she'd slapped me across the face. Sighing, I close my eyes and remember the hurt I'd seen lurking beneath that anger. The betrayal at my reaction. Standing up, there's only one thing on my mind. Forgiveness.
Charlie's POV –
"Then everyone lived happily ever after." I say softly as I close my book. Little snores meet my ears. Moving carefully, I slide from the air mattress and tuck her in. Leaning down I kiss her forehead, taking a moment to soak in the smell of strawberries from her curls. "Love you sweet girl."
As if my words reach her through her dreams, a small smile tugs at her face and I stroke her curls one last time before quietly leaving the room. My footsteps echo down the hall and the small streak of contentment feels as if a fist is squeezing around it. Looking around, the emptiness of the house seeps into me. Not just as a visual scream, but as a scream that fills my head and leaves me left with thoughts of failure. Sitting down on at the dining room table I fight to keep my breathing even as the silence and emptiness starts to echo around me. It doesn't matter that I'd just had one of the best plates of spaghetti tonight. Doesn't matter that I felt safe and happy surrounded by friends…maybe even family. Right now all I can feel is the empty lonely void. Grabbing my phone, I stand up quickly and rush to the door only to screech to a stop when someone knocks on it.
"Look around Charlie. Look around, because I'm coming for what's mine."
My heart thunders in my chest and I feel frozen in my place. Unable to move from the door, yet unable to look through the peephole. As if my whole existence is frozen by the knocking on the other side of the door. Run. The word repeats in my head and creates an electric current in my muscles. Every instinct inside me screaming to run but paralyzed in place. Tears fill my eyes and my breathing becomes fast and shallow. Run. Run. Run.
"Charlie? It's Jake. Can we talk?"
Instantaneously, my world opens back up around me. As if those words…his voice is the key to the prison I've found myself in. My breath rushes harshly from my lungs and my hands shake as I rush forward without thought to unlock my door and swing it open. The need to see him, to know that my nightmares are just in my head almost unbearable. My eyes soak in the sight of him. Everything from the way he stands with his hands in his pockets. The unsure and apologetic look on his face. The instant warmth flooding his gaze when he sees me. Almost as if he was in the same prison I was before I opened the door. Suddenly the emptiness of the house and my failures are lifted from my shoulders. The fear of my monster just a distant nightmare. I cling to the lack of them. Stepping forward, I let everything else soak into my senses.
"Jake? What are you doing here?" I tell him as I lean against my closed door. I watch him take two steps back, but don't feel hurt. In the months that I've known him he'd always been respectful of my need for space. "It's late, is everything okay?"
"Yeah, I…I just wanted to apologize." He says with a regretful smile as he rubs at the back of his neck. "It wasn't right of me to say those things earlier."
I don't say anything as I watch him. The rain fills the silence and I rub at my arms at the chill in the air. His eyes narrow in on my movement and he holds a finger up before running out to his truck. I breathe a small sigh of relief. His absence giving me time to pull my thoughts together. He comes back with a checkered flannel and hands it to me. Warmth floods my chest and I give him a thankful smile as I slide into the warm sleeves.
"It's really late, and I just laid Anna down to sleep." I tell him hesitantly. I sigh and watch him shuffle his feet before pinning me with a calm look.
"I know it's late, but I needed to say sorry." He says, voice filled with regret. "I should've never questioned your parenting. Anyone with two eyes can see how much you love Anna. That you would do anything for her."
"Then why did you question me like that?" I ask feeling my earlier hurt surface. His mouth moves as if he's trying to make words come out, but they refuse to surface. "I'm here because this is the place I want to be. It's the best place for Anna to be. I'm not going anywhere…but if I think she's in danger, I won't hesitate to take here where she'll be safest. That is MY decision and it's not a decision that I take lightly. You have no right questioning it."
"I completely agree." He replies instantly. "I really am sorry Charlie."
"I appreciate you taking the time to come here to say sorry." I tell him earnestly. "We're friends Jake, and I don't say that lightly. I don't like fighting with you."
"I don't want to push anything, but as your friend can I please say something without it coming between us?" He asks pinning me in place with his eyes. Genuine warmth and concern swirl in the brown depths. I feel myself give a small nod. "I know it's your choice to share what you want, but I worry about you. I worry that you even feel like you have to be ready to run. That you feel like you and Anna are in danger."
He moves closer to me, but I don't back up. His words sink into my skin, bones, and soul. The sheer sincerity of his words bursting through his every pore. His hand reaches out and cups my cheek, thumb brushing over my cheekbone. His touch leaves behind a wake of tingles and the heat from his front seeps into the front of me making my heart stutter. He's looking down at me, something else swirling in along with his concern. I feel my fingers reach to lightly grip the front of his shirt.
"I care about you. I care about Anna. I can't stand the thought of something being a threat to you two." He's almost whispering the words, but they're the only thing I can hear. His hand tilts my face up gently and its as if the world around us is fading as something thrums between us. Like gravity is pulling us together and we're the only thing that exists. "You don't have to open up to me, but I hope you do. I hope you know that you can trust me. If it comes down to it, don't run. Let me help you. Let me care about you."
"Jake…" I barely recognize my voice. The way it's breathy sound leaves me. "I can't…"
"Don't run. Come to me first. Please."
I barely register his words as the heat of his free hand settles on my waist. I wait for the alarm bells to screech. For the fear and caution to flood me, but it doesn't. All I feel is Jake. His heat surrounds me. His touch draws me in. The scent of cinnamon, spice, forest, and rain drown me. His eyes draw me in until I feel like I'm drunk on the feelings surging inside of me. He bends down and I feel like my whole life was meant for this one moment. It floods me and I feel my eyes start to droop close and I lean forward and up. The world spins around me at the first brush. His hand on my waist tightens slightly, but I could care less as he pulls back after only seconds. Our breath mingles and my eyes open only to lock with his. I can see what he's doing. See the escape he's offering me, but it's too late. I'm drunk on him and the sip he's given me. My fingers tighten in his shirt and I tug just enough to pull him closer. Our lips meet again and this time the carefulness of the first kiss is thrown to the wind. Our lips move together slowly, before something shifts between us…opens abruptly. His fingers move from my cheeks to cup the base of my head, tilting my head back. The kiss deepens and the heat between us flares as we start to lose ourselves.
"Charlie." My name leaves his lips like a panted prayer when we break to breathe, but the sound only draws me deeper as my hand moves to cup his neck.
I drag him back in, eager, almost desperate for more. My lips part and suddenly I'm breathless. The heat from yesterday erupts through me. It hits me like a battering ram as his tongue meets mine. The taste of cinnamon and spice explodes across my senses. I'm an addict. Hooked from the first hit. The feeling of the door pushes against my back, but I could care less as his body crowds into mine and our tongues brush against each other. Time becomes a foreign concept, replaced by Jake. Both of his hands grip my waist now. My own hands now around his neck keeping him from leaving me. Eventually the spinning in my head and around me comes to a halt and I feel his lips leave mine. This time we don't clash back together. This time I feel his hands tug down and my feet fully meet the wood of the porch. We don't move apart, even though the two of us make no move to separate. Our breathing comes in shallow pants and when I open my eyes I'm met with the sight of his. They're darkened to almost black, the color blending with his blown pupils.
"What?" The word leaves me before it even registers in my mind, but it opens the world to more than the two of us.
Slowly details start to come back to my senses. It's still raining and the air feels even colder than moments before. My back is against the door and his body is pressed against my front. My heart is racing in my chest and my lips tingle. One of my hands move from his neck to touch my lips. They're swollen and sensitive. Seeing my movement he reaches up to gently grab my fingers, tangling them with mine.
"Charlie, I'm sorry." He says, his voice deepened. His words feel like ice and hurt floods me along with the confusion of everything. He sees my look and he cups my face with both his hands. "Not like that. I'm sorry if I've made you uncomfortable, I didn't come here to do this. I came here to apologize and to tell you that I want to be here for you and Anna. That you have someone to help you if you need it."
"I feel like all you've done is help me. Ever since I got here." I tell him, blushing in embarrassment. "I haven't had this kind of support in so long it's…I'm not used to it. You don't know how much it's helped us."
"I'm not going to stop. Not unless you want me to." He says. "I'm just sorry if this makes you feel like I want anything in return. That's not what this is."
"I don't feel that way." I tell him quickly. To my surprise, I mean it. "I just don't know what this means. I'm not sure…how…what…"
"Charlie!"
The two of us jump and then scramble at the sound of Anna's cry from through the door. My body aches at the abrupt separation, but I push it aside as I open the door to find a distraught toddler on the other side. Her wide eyes meet mine and she rushes forward, her rabbit in her arms. Swinging her into my arms I let her settle against me as I coo gently to her.
"What's wrong baby? Did you have a bad dream?" I ask her softly. She shakes her head and I turn to find Jakes concerned gaze on her. She mumbles into my neck and I kiss her forehead. "You woke up and couldn't find me?"
She nods against my neck and I rub her back.
"I should head out. It's late and I'm sure you want to lay her back down." He says as I rub her back. I nod. "We can talk when you're ready."
Anna pulls back from me to look at him. To my utter shock, her little arms reach for him and with a small nod to his questioning gaze, he takes her from me. Like a natural he rocks her as she settles into him. Her head lays on his shoulder and her eyes drift shut as he rubs her back. He looks at me with an unsure and questioning look. Moving to the side I gesture for him to come in. As I close the door, I watch him walk back towards the room leaving me alone. The sound of him whispering to her soothingly as he promises her a story reaching my ears. Heat still sits lowly in my stomach and my head still feels swamped. The only other thing left with me in the room is the growing confusion growing in my gut and the self-doubt starting to filter through me. That and the question beginning to pound at the back of my mind.
"What happens now?"
Once more, I hope you enjoyed the update. I look forward to reading what you think!