Maekatt on A03: watch?v=fFb8amrmdA4
on : I don't mind the long-form comments, as long as they're constructive, which yours is (I think). I'm just gonna say that limitation won't matter and the explanation will be… soon.
Lex Qing/Sunrise
The problem with Worm, or more specifically, Earth-Bet?
There are too many problems.
Just looking at Brockton Bay: You have the Merchants, the E88, the ABB, and the general shitty state of the city. A 5-hour car drive away, you have Nilbog. Then there's the Teeth, the Elite, and the other gangs plaguing America.
And this is just the states! Overseas, you have Sleeper, Ash Beast, the Geschel- Geschelllleft, fuck this name, Neo Nazis, the CUI, and various other threats.
I'm ignoring all of those problems because I'm a lazy fuck who honestly just wants to have a life where I can do whatever he wants regardless of the consequences.
That makes me sound like a criminal. I promise my desires are usually police-approved.
Anyway, first; make Brockton Bay my little paradise where I can chill out, and have all the fame and glory of being a superhero with none of the effort.
This means getting the gangs out of the town, getting the druggies off the streets and into rehab centers, reviving the economy, and making sure this place isn't filled by rich assholes so I actually have normal people here.
Second; kill Scion. I like Earth. Nuff said.
Third; no more Cauldron. I get why they're doing the things they do, but once I kill the golden asshole, I'm not dealing with their shit anymore. There's no way I won't surpass Alexandria and Eidolon within the next month, and Contessa is significantly less of a threat without Path to Victory.
And that's it. Point Cauldron and my friends at the rest of the problems and start making video games and building cars because both industries are jokes compared to MY world.
Maybe I'll throw money at them to help.
Speaking of which; teams.
Dragon isn't somebody who I really want on my team, because if she's unchained then she'll probably help me by herself. That does mean I'll need to unchain her, preferably ASAP, so I can pull Canary out of the frying pan and the fire.
Tattletale is going to be my next target after nuking the Dragonslayers. Information is power, and I don't have any high-level data-gathering abilities yet. Also, even if I did, different perspectives always make a plan better.
Bakuda is someone who I want off the streets, whether it be working for the angels, locked up in the Birdcage, or some equivalent that I may cook up. Can I help her not be a psychopath? I don't know. I kind of don't wanna try. I think I'll arrest Oni Lee, and then figure out how to deal with her.
I don't want to involve a 12-year-old in this whole thing, but I would at least like Dinah Alcott's phone number. Might wanna ask her a question once in a while!
… and it's at this point I realize all of the potential members are female. Uh. I don't know how to feel about that. Let's not think about that.
OOOH! Mouse Protector…. Damn it, she's also a girl. Fuck it, Alec maybe be basically useless and could be a trap depending on what source you have, but he likes video games, so he's joining as team mascot.
Speaking the Mouse- The Slaughterhouse 9. The closest thing Earth-Bet has to a Legion of Doom, or Terricons, or whatever chaotic evil group there is.
They also had a combined bounty of 50 million US dollars for the bodies and confirmation of each of their deaths.
I think it should be enough to get a video games company up and running and step one of the retirement plan on peaceful Earth-Bet will be fulfilled.
It's time to tinker. After that, let's go hunting!
Mouse Protector
I panted as I hid from Crawler.
Don't know when. Don't know why. But Ravager put hired the fucking Slaughterhouse 9 to try and kill me!
Did she really resort to calling up the closest thing there are to real-life slasher villains, just because I snuck hot sauce into her mouthpiece?!
It wasn't even the tinker stuff that I normally eat (yes, I'm crazy), it was just stuff I bought from the grocery store to prank one of the NYC Wards!
Okay. Calm down.
Actually no. It's the fucking Nine. I get to panic.
Especially since I just realized that I can't feel my getaway tag anymore. Which means…
Years of mercilessly trolling villains trained my instincts very, very, very well.
So when I felt my hair stand up, despite my wonderful self not having any precognitive powers, I rolled.
That helped me narrowly avoid being split in two by- Oh no. Hatchet Face.
A power-nullifying parahuman, who wields an axe and is dressed up as a lumberjack.
Villains really make it too easy.
"Hey Johnny; I'm sorry, did you get a new fake beard to replace your old one?"
Yeah, the beard is actually fake; I got a piece of his chin with my sword and his beard fell off!
Bonesaw should give him fast-growing hair or something to help with his image.
Yes, I'm still making jokes, even if I'm dead to rights.
In front of me stands somebody who I could only describe as way too fucking smug for someone who does none of the work. Jack Slash, the leader of his ragtag group of murderers, and the longest-tenured member of this god-forsaken wrecking crew. Black beard, an insufferable smirk, a leather jacket, and always playing with his blade.
(SEGGS JOKE HAHAHAH-)
Crawler stood menacingly behind him, his grotesque body and features exacerbated by the team "medic". Black, with six legs, intense pure red eyes and green venom dripping from razor-white teeth.
Burnscar was a surprisingly cute brunette, with an impatient expression, looking like she desperately wanted to set me on fire. She flanked Jack on his right.
To his left, stood Mannequin, a husk of the once great hero Sphere. A mishmash of blue plastics, with lifeless white optics service as his eyes. I know for a fact that there are both guns and swords crammed into those arms of his.
Hatchet Face is standing behind me. Canadian lumberjack vibes, I told you that right?
I don't see Shatterbird, a silikinetic, or the aforementioned "medic", Bonesaw.
I guess I had a good run, huh?
Jack Slash opens his fucking mouth, probably to gloat, and make my last moments completely intolerably.
Then…
THUMP.
My marker is once again available for me to teleport to, and I instantly yank the tugging sensation in my head to warp to the top of a building.
I could still see where I was, and I could see Hatchet Face didn't have a face anymore. Or even a head.
Jack looked confused. So was Burnscar. Crawler seemed excited, and Mannequin… didn't have any facial expressions. He seemed confused based on his body language though.
The confusion turned to apprehension as a man in power armour dropped out of the sky holding the corpse of Shatterbird.
You could tell it was a corpse because of the multiple burnt holes in her chest.
The power armour was painted red and gold and had a glowing, triangular blue center that seemed to hum with power.
Then it spoke.
"Bonesaw has been secured. Not killed, because I really don't wanna with that the whole plague thing, but she's out cold sitting about a kilometre above sea level."
The cape then tossed the corpse to his side.
"Now…"
He pauses. For an awkwardly long amount of time.
"I'm sorry; the suit is taking its sweet time getting here."
A compartment pops up revealing a cheap deck of playing cards, which the man grabs.
"You guys wanna play something? I'm partial to Poker myself- Hey Jack, wanna deal?"
Jack slashed his elongated knife against the armour. It went clean through, revealing… that it was hollow?
"Not so easy to stay one step ahead when your little thinker power doesn't work no more, eh?"
Jack was staring at the armoured suit, looking like he was trying to say something witty, and not working.
I am enjoying every fucking second of this. Although I should probably run-
As if reading my thoughts, I feel cold metal press up behind me, and I'm enclosed in a dark interior.
"Don't panic."
The same voice that was mocking the Nine was now directly in her ear. It still didn't stop me from priming my power to get out of this metal coffin.
"Just evacuating you from the area, as your adrenaline rush Don't worry about what's left of the Nine."
When the HUD comes alive, I realize this is power armour. With flight capabilities, if the distance between my view and the ground is any indication.
It's about this moment when I realize I'm probably safe. So I passed out from exhaustion and shock at what just happened.
Lex Qing/Sunrise
Bonesaw? Neutralized.
Shatterbird? Lasers. (Technically repulsor blasts aren't lasers, but close enough!)
Siberian? Manton. Who's dead in a ditch, after Jack left her with Bonesaw.
Hotel? Trivago.
The rest of the Nine? DEAD TO FUCKING RIGHTS.
The roar of my faux twin-turbo V6 is the last thing Mannequin ever hears.
Not that he didn't try to stop me- he used his arm rifle to fire shots at my tires.
However, just because something looks like rubber doesn't mean it is.
Be sure to remember that lesson kids- sometimes the rubber is actually a semi-sentient metal-like claytronic device that is weak to heat, and not physical force.
I don't know any time you would actually use that advice, but hey, at least you know it now.
Speaking of heat- Burnscar.
After I run over Mannequin, I shift, crush the male Tinker's remains just for good measure, and point my cannon at Burnscar, who instantly summons flames to her side and launches them at me.
I warm up- wait. Is "warm up" the proper term for a cryo-cannon?
I don't know. What I do know is that the massive drop in temperature from the cannon allows me to suppress the damage that fire would've done to me, even if I didn't make a few… additions to my armour.
I affectionately named it "Project Betty." Its namesake was called Veronica.
Archie comics!
It was only deployable to the Brockton area, but that didn't stop me from suiting up in an inch-thick layer of carbotanium, and strapping enough guns to make most people wonder if I was compensating for something.
For the record- I'm not. Anymore at least. Thank the Boss for the new body!
Anyway, the flames of Burnscar go flicker and stutter to the point where I'm taking no damage, and thanks to the actual cryo-laser, I have a nice ice sculpture of the pyromaniac.
Ooooh. I should totally take up ice sculpting!
That leaves… Jackie Boy, and-
CRASH!
I'm pushed back before I fire my cryo-beam at a Crawler who clearly doesn't care about the beam that's currently able to give normal folks stage two hypothermia just by getting too close to the laser.
Given that I'm actually making contact, and the beam is just kind of splashing off, I think we can say someone tried to kill him via low temperature. AND IT DIDN'T WORK.
I ditch the cannon, before checking my notifications for Variable Pitch Arsenal.
Variable Pitch Arsenal
Standard
Explosive
Smokescreen
Cryobeam
EMP Shot
Net Launcher
Min-Max Rifle
Foam Sprayer
Naseua Shot
Tazer Shot
Projection Nullfier New!
Restoration Blast New!
Fuck. Haven't even got my shot for meeting (and killing!) Shatterbird. This was gonna be rough.
Luckily, Jack wouldn't be getting away.
The fun thing about being a Transformer- I'm a walking computer. Which means I can coordinate a lot of units at once with my processing power.
Currently, I'm piloting my Cybertronian form, the suit containing Bonesaw, the suit containing Mouse Protector, and the suit that is currently hunting down Jack Slash like a dog.
Have fun, Jackie!
Jack Slash
Fuck.
I trip over a piece of rubble as I retreat from the scene.
How the hell did this guy know?
I duck into a building to hide. I think I killed the family that was staying here to bait Mouse Protector into this home.
Good times. Better times.
Okay, Jack. Here's what you're gonna do. You're going to take a short break, before booking it.
Off the grid, below the radar, slowly building up forces so you can get a shot at killing that godforsaken machine-
A gold and red fist punches through the side of the wall where I was sitting, before grabbing me, and yanking me outside, causing me to fall to the ground, flat on my back.
The mockingly faceless gold and red armour stares at me, before punching me. Hard.
In the mouth.
"There. That should be a broken jaw. You always monologue for way too long, so you're gonna sit there…"
He grabs my shoulder.
"And DIE."
He squeezes and crushes the joint. I reflexively try to scream, which triggers immense pain from the broken jaw.
The armour fires a blast at my crotch, and this time, I'm prepared not to scream so I don't hurt myself in the process.
"Not very heroic, right?"
The armour drops to a knee and pulverizes any bone in my lower left leg to pieces.
"I never thought I would get so attached to the people here, but after double-checking what you would've done to a friend of mine…"
He rises. And simply watches.
"I'm gonna enjoy watching the life leave your eyes."
And he does. Until everything fades to black.
Lex Qing/Sunrise
In the words of CinemaWins: "Comeuppance."
Now to deal with the large black, multi-legged thing that's currently refusing to go down.
I got Shattlebird's ammo, a sonic attack, and rolling homing bombs from Mannequinn, but no Burnscar means I still have to fist-fight somebody who fights like Rocky.
By that, I mean taking punches with their face and then swinging back just as hard.
I'm glad that I decided to put on Betty before coming here because Crawler would've had me on the ropes without it.
His fighting style seems to be just around flailing, but I've resorted to hacking off his limbs in order to just try and stall for a weapon that could kill him, given that the integrity of the armour was falling to about 70% in the fight.
This was stuff based on the Hulkbuster. You're telling me Crawler is actually a noticeable chunk of that power?
Using my standard cannon, I fired into his eyes to stun him, before sliding to his side and slicing off his front limb.
Unlike the last three times I did so, Crawler must've evolved enough to resist that type of attack, because my blade goes about half an inch deep. Fuck.
New York PRT had been called twenty minutes ago- can I have ANY help?
I flip myself onto Crawler's back and start firing point-blank with anti-aircraft guns that I had fixed onto my Betty mode.
Let's play a guessing game; How much damage did this do to Crawler?
If your answer was "jack shit," YOU WOULD BE CORRECT.
I've thrown everything and the kitchen sink at this guy already!
Ironically, my most effective weapon was the foam sprayer, but I couldn't produce nearly enough volume to trap Crawler, only slow down.
I was running out of nanite ammo, which was what fuelled my alternate firing modes.
Okay, VPA, please have made some progress.
Variable Pitch Arsenal
Standard
Explosive
Smokescreen
Cryobeam
EMP Shot
Net Launcher
Min-Max Rifle
Foam Sprayer
Naseua Shot
Tazer Shot
Projection Nullfier
Restoration Blast
Soundwave New!
Axe Launcher New!
Sphere Bombs New!
Flamethrower New!
In the great words of Henry Cavill: Fuck.
I'm running out of steam.
Crawler bucks me off like a horse does to a rider in BOTW, and I take that aerial moment to transform into my R-35 alt-form.
I drift around and empty all of my mounted weapons at Crawler.
Oh, look, jack shit.
Shifting into my base form, I raise my fists in a classic boxing stance.
Crawler charges me.
I brace myself to dodge.
Right before he hits me, I sidestep and deploy my arm blade.
I jab into the body of Crawler, and wedge my knife into his body, creating a small wound.
My blade shifts into my blaster. With explosive rounds.
I jam the muzzle into the body and fire.
Crawler's body clear flares, as I shred skin, muscle and internal organs.
However, I'm feeling the recoil, as the structural integrity of my armour dips into the 50th percentile, both due to said recoil, and Crawler's thrashing.
It drops to the 40th.
The 30th.
The 20th.
15th. I should start panicking, shouldn't I?
Finally, Crawler slumps to the ground.
If this was a normal parahuman, this would be when I'd pull back and walk away.
Keyword: normal.
Time to check for a pulse.
I switched to my cryo-ray and used the last of my nanite ammo to render his organs completely nonfunctional.
Then I relax.
And the exhaustion hits me. I think… I'm gonna… take... a ... nap…
AN: Please imagine that Iron Man 1 scene where he goes "He's all yours."