Jud

Jud squinted against the sunlight to get a better view of the strange, painted cart. It didn't look like a peddler's cart, there was no poster or anything on display, nothing to even hint at what was inside, just a giant, smiling sun emblazoned on the outside. The man driving it didn't look much like a peddler either. All dressed up in a wide-brimmed floppy hat and a cape, despite the heat. He didn't look like anyone who belonged in the Territory. Didn't look like anyone who belonged in America.

Despite the oddness of the display, there were rarely any new faces there in the outskirts of Claremore, so he figured it was worth seeing what was on offer. Maybe a peddler like that would have even more exciting things to sell. If he wasn't American, he might well be European, and Jud knew they did things differently there. If the cart was closed off, there might even be girls inside. Maybe that was something they did in those places.

"Hey!" He flagged the man down and the man pulled the reins and doffed his hat as Jud approached.

"Greetings, friend. El Gallo at your service. Is there anything I can do for you on this fine morning?"

Jud didn't know how to respond, but he knew that no one called him friend unless they wanted something.

He decided to start with something normal, but just racy enough to get a conversation going if there was more on offer. "You got any French postcards?"

"I'm afraid that's not exactly the sort of thing I deal in."

Jud turned away, the man's slight smile telling him everything he needed to know. Might as well have started laughing at him, the way he smiled like he was so much better.

"But I may be able to help you. For a price, I can solve your problems, whatever they may be."

"Don't reckon you can, friend." Jud grumbled, annoyed that nothing more concretely desirable was on offer.

"All right, then" the man tipped his hat again "best of luck to you."

Jud took a deep breath. There was something he wanted, of course, something he wanted more than anything, and if this Gallo feller could help him get it, maybe it was worth the risk of asking for it. And El Gallo did say, 'whatever they may be'. Jud's request couldn't be that unusual, there had to be plenty of lovesick men in the Territory. And if he said no, it wouldn't be any worse than Laurey's ignoring him, or the way anyone else treated him, for that matter.

"There's a girl."

El Gallo paused again, that faint smile playing on his lips. "Is she pretty?"

Jud scoffed. If only that were all she was. Pretty was something he could buy a picture of and put on his wall. Pretty was something he could fuck in the back room at Flannegan's for a dollar. If Laurey were just pretty, his heart wouldn't have twisted in on itself when he saw her kissing Jace Hutchins behind the barn that one time. If Laurey were just pretty, he wouldn't go cold every time he passed the tree with her and Curly's initials. He wouldn't feel like a little part of him died when he saw her and Curly with their heads pressed together. "Sure. Sure, she's pretty, but she's…she's smart and she's real sweet when she wants to be, just about the sweetest girl there is. But she's kinda sassy too, you know?"

"You're in love with her, I take it."

He'd never let himself think about his feelings for her in those terms, but El Gallo acted as though there were nothing wrong with his feeling that way. He seemed so understanding that Jud didn't even feel self-conscious admitting the truth aloud to a stranger.

"Yeah. Yeah, I guess I am. But the problem is, she don't—"

"Doesn't know you exist? Or is blind to your potential? Has dreams of exploring the world beyond what you could hope to provide for her?"

Jud nodded, relieved again to have voiced his feelings and had them understood.

"Well, I have just the thing," the man hopped down from the wagon. "For a very low price, I can offer you a first class rape."

For a moment, Jud couldn't find the words to respond, was nearly sure that he'd misheard, but that word could hardly be mistaken for anything else. He'd been expecting something like a love potion or even a pamphlet of advice, not that. He couldn't even figure out what that could mean.

"If I wanted that, I could do it myself for free. Why'd I pay you to do it for me?"

"No, no, friend, you misunderstand me. Please allow me to explain: my cohorts and I, cunningly disguised as Indians to better suit this…pastoral landscape, will rape your girl—"

"Hey, no—"

Gallo held up a finger before Jud could protest further. "But before she suffers the fate worse than death, you swoop in and–"

The truth of the scheme dawned on him. "And I get to rescue her." He could be the hero, could take her up in his arms and she'd be grateful, not revolted. He'd even imagined similar scenes before, of rescuing her from snakes or saving her if she were drowning or pulling her out of a burning building. But saving her from other men who were trying to rape her, that would be even better.

"You're catching on."

"And she'll love me?"

"I can't guarantee her love, but I can guarantee she'll look upon you more favorably."

"Yeah, 'course she will. That's awful clever. But—" he tried to think clearly, tried to find flaws in the plan, but the idea of Laurey's loving him was too overwhelming, and the images the man had put in his mind made it impossible to think clearly. "Well, it, um, it seems kinda risky."

"I guarantee you the utmost discretion and good taste."

"Yeah, I'm sure." Jud conceded, not wanting to offend him, in case he did take him up on the offer. "I-I just don't know. Folks pay you to do this sorta thing often? And it really works?"

El Gallo shrugged. "Often enough. You aren't the only person who's been in love, you know. And love is rarely mutual at first, even under the best of circumstances. Usually one of the parties requires a little push in the right direction, a push that I am more than happy to provide. And I do have a very high success rate, I might add. I periodically come back to check on my customers afterward and most of them seem quite satisfied."

"Nah, I-I don't think so" Jud backed away, knowing that good offers only ever came with a catch, that there had to be something El Gallo wasn't telling him, knew that he would somehow end up more brokenhearted than he already was. His life wasn't the kind where he could pay to have a problem gotten rid of by someone else. Maybe it would work for someone like Curly or Laurey, but not for him.

"That's up to you. I'm currently on my way to another assignment of that nature, so I'll return in a week or when I'm done. If you change your mind in that time, I'll be more than happy to do business with you."

"Yeah. Yeah, all right."

El Gallo flicked the reins, and his wagon started off again. Jud stared after him, his mind spinning in a million different directions.