Chapter 6

Time in the bunker passed quickly, there was so much to do that Marcus barely noticed when mornings turned into nights, and nights into days. So many things needed doing that days blended together as Marcus threw himself into work, focusing on building new society, trying to do better this time, and making sure that those who lost their lives did not do so in vain.

Things were relatively calm and his biggest concern was Abby. She still hadn't been speaking to him unless she was forced to. Sometimes, Kane wished she'd yell at him, shout, get angry, anything just to show that she still noticed him, that she cared. But her demeanor was formal, polite, impersonal, her silence bordering on indifference, she barely acknowledged his presence when she had to, and any other time, she just pretended that he wasn't there and wouldn't even meet his eyes.

He tried reaching out, talking to her but she always had a reason to be somewhere else, a reason to finish their conversation and disappear. Any attempt at personal conversation was quickly shut down by her and unless he was to lock them in a room and tie her up, he had to be patient and wait for her to come to him. He understood why she behaved that way but it worried him nonetheless. She distanced herself not only from him but from pretty much everyone else in the bunker, only engaging with people when at work. Overworking herself again just so she didn't have to face her demons. He wanted to help her, he wished for nothing more but he didn't know how to and felt that he needed to give her space otherwise it could backfire. So that's what he did, patiently waiting for her to come to him while at the same time throwing himself into his own work, finding new purpose in life and trying to repent for his newest sins.

The mess hall was filled with chatter and laughter which only grew louder as Marcus entered it. Bright room with white walls filled with tables of different sizes, people scattered everywhere eating their lunch and a delicious smell hit Marcus' nose, his stomach growled in response as it quickly got used to regular mealtimes. Standing in the queue, he scanned the room until his eyes landed on a head full of golden brown hair, now braided, the same style she used to wear on the Ark. A small smile crept on his face.

At the table, Abby sat opposite Jackson who must have dragged her there. Only a few days before, Marcus had a chat with the younger man, both worried about Abby not eating properly. It was clear as a day that she lost weight recently while everyone else seemed to have gained it thanks to healthy and regular meals.

Abby's chin rested in her hand as she looked ahead with a thousand-yard stare, lost in her own world, she twirled the fork that she held in another hand, mindlessly playing with her food. Jackson's gaze moved from Abby's face to her plate and then back at her. He pinched his lips and shook his head in disapproval but didn't say anything.

There was something different about Abby, she stood out but Marcus couldn't quite put his finger on what it was about her that day that made it so obvious. He looked around for clues when the realization hit him. Abby's clothes. Blue, threadbare sweater she used to wear on the Ark, the same one that's been torn and sewn back up multiple times, dark grey jeans with holes that weren't there for fashion reasons, and her trusted boots that she loved dearly. Compared to everyone else inside the room, she almost blended with the environment, with the grey of the tables. Everyone else looked so bright and colorful and clean, a sea of different styles… New clothes! That's what it was. Everyone else was wearing their new clothes that they were allowed to pick up. Marcus toyed with the sleeve of his new, black sweater which fitted him like a second skin and was warm and comfortable with no holes or patches. It was oddly pleasant to wear something completely new and not worn before, something that only ever belonged to him. He got his new clothes a few days ago and forgot about it, if there were any problems with the collections, he would have received a report but he never got one.

He grabbed his datapad from the pocket, clicked and swiped to find the data regarding clothes collection status. 99% complete, only one person left to collect their stuff, Abby. It's not like she didn't know about it, she was there when they were deciding it, the one pushing for it and yet, she ignored her timeslot that was a few days prior and hadn't rearranged it. Because of her, the storage staff couldn't start taking the inventory.

Kane brought his attention back to Abby who in her old and faded clothes stood out from the crowd, and yet, at the same time, almost blended with the background. He looked around, it was weird how out of place she looked compared to everyone else. Now, with free access to water, showers and toiletries, everyone looked unusually clean and tidy and yet, Abby's clean but old clothes stood out like a sore thumb. Marcus figured that as a council member, she should have known that she was stalling the works and there was no excuse for her not to have picked her clothes and he was determined to change that. He put the datapad back in his pocket and walked over to her with an energized step. Before she had a chance to notice him and escape, he approached their table and greeted them.

"Abby. Jackson."

"Chancellor," Jackson replied while Abby only nodded, her gaze fixed on her plate that was still mostly full.

"I'm sorry for interrupting but I need your help, Abby. Would you mind coming with me now?" A lie rolled of his tongue with ease.

Abby stopped playing with her food and looked at him, her eyes wide.

"Can't it wait? I'm seeing a patient in 10 minutes."

"It's rather urgent."

"Go! I'll handle medical," said Jackson and Kane smiled gratefully.

Abby sighed and got up, "Fine, let's go."

Marcus suppressed a smile as he started to walk without a word, Abby just followed him with her shoulder's slumped. Neither of them said a word. Marcus feared that if he started to talk, she'd run away and he wasn't about to give her an excuse to do that.

Halfway to their destination, Abby sighed in frustration.

"Are you going to tell me where we're going? I've got things to do and I don't need a bunker tour."

"You'll see in a minute." His answer cryptic.

Abby raised an eyebrow in response but didn't say anything else. Marcus walked fast and Abby soon fell behind him, she folded her arms across her chest, furrowed her brows and observed him as he walked, curious where he was leading her. Perhaps, if she paid attention to her surroundings instead of the man in front of her, she could have figured it out before they got there but she was too busy trying to figure out his plan.

"We're here," Marcus announced as he stopped in front of a big, metal door. He turned around to face her, smiled, and grabbed the handle to open the door. Abby looked at him quizzically as he pressed the handle and pushed the door open revealing a massive storage room, lit by white harsh light. The place was filled to the brims with clothes, shoes, and other essential items.

Realization dawned on her and Abby sighed heavily. She completely forgot to pick up her new clothes, it slipped her mind as it wasn't her priority. Fresh and unused clothing was a novelty, and everyone was excited, she should've been too but the thought just made her feel empty. It wasn't as if she was desperate for new clothes, her old ones, even though riddled with holes, were still perfectly usable and there were others who needed clothes more than her.

"Everyone's already got their clothes, you're the only one that hasn't" Marcus said as if he could read her mind.

"It's fine, I don't need them." She turned around trying to walk away but his voice stopped her.

"The storage unit staff wants to start inventory of this room, but they can't until you pick your clothes. You don't have to wear them but get them and let them get on with their work. Go ahead, you know the rules." He grinned at her. "I'll leave you to it. Have fun." With that he turned around and walked away, leaving her standing with her eyes fixed on his back. He hadn't turned back and when he disappeared behind the corner, Abby was tempted to just go back to the medical but the sense of responsibility was too strong, she didn't want to stall the workers and she knew that Kane would just find her again or send someone else and she'd have to get it over with so she might as well do it now. She slumped her shoulders and took a deep breath as she entered the bright room.

Inside, she found herself surrounded by an abundance of clothes, something she'd never experienced in her life. So many different colors, fabrics, and designs. All neatly folded or hung, protected by bags from air and moisture, sorted by styles, colors, and sizes, overwhelming amount of choices. Abby wasn't picky, years spent on the Ark taught her that but when her eyes fell on a thick, woollen, cream colored cardigan, she couldn't resist touching it. She opened the bag and slipped her hand inside, the fabric was soft and warm, just perfect, she fell in love with it instantly.

On the Ark, and on the ground as well, she felt a perpetual chill. Clothing was limited and warm clothes were often thick, uncomfortable, and impractical so she often shed some of her layers, sacrificing warmth for movement. She took the cardigan out of the bag and slipped inside it, her arms instantly warm, the fabric so soft, she never wanted to let it go. It was loose, slightly too big, but it didn't matter to her, it enveloped her in a warm and comfortable embrace. She wrapped it around her slim body, arms hidden in too long sleeves as she stood there allowing herself to be comforted by the piece of fabric, drowning in the warmth and security it provided. Sleeves going over her palms felt oddly comforting, something she never quite experienced, and yet, it felt so natural. Her hands were always cold so it would be a nice change, she played with the soft fabric and her mind drifted to some article she read years ago, something about the fact that covering one's hands with sleeves can be a self-comfort or a self-protection gesture. She bit her lip and brushed the thought away, considering it unimportant.

She stood there for a minute, enjoying the sensation before she looked for more stuff. In the corner of an eye she spotted her reflection in a mirror across the room, the contrast between her new cardigan and her old jeans was striking and only now she realized how out of place she must have looked earlier in the mess hall with everyone in their new clothes.

Quickly, she picked a few other items she thought would fit her, some jeans, new boots that looked comfortable as the soles of hers were already patched up a few times and she wasn't sure how long they would last, some socks and underwear. A set of everyday clothes and some work clothes. As a doctor, she was allowed to get an extra set as she was bound to end up covered in blood and other bodily fluids but she didn't feel that it was appropriate for her to take more than others, she wasn't more important, so she stuck to the amount others took.

Somewhere across the room, she spotted a real doctor's coat, crisp and white, just like the ones they wore in the old movies. She reached out with her hand but took it away before it touched the fabric. She didn't need it, her blue coat was doing the job just fine, she dropped her hand to her side and grabbed the rest of her stuff before leaving the room. Her task was done.

Later that day, Marcus saw Abby at the council meeting, sitting with her back turned to the door, she didn't see him, lost in the conversation with Iris. Marcus noticed her new outfit and smiled in appreciation, she had no idea how good she looked, how much it suited her. Of course, she looked good before, but the new clothes were a small luxury that he wanted her to experience and he was glad she didn't fight him on it.

"Frank's been preaching again," said Marcus as he entered his office where Abby and Cooper were sitting on the couch waiting for others to join them.

"He'll never change." Cooper rolled his eyes.

"He's more desperate than ever now that no one seems to be paying him any attention."

"I wouldn't be so sure, just the other day, I saw two boys drinking his every word, I had to get them away from him."

"He may not be a danger for now but he's planting the seeds. His ideas will sprout and may evolve into something very unpleasant for future generations," said Abby without looking up from her notes.

Marcus looked at her, her skin paler than usual and as she typed on her datapad, her fingers seemed to tremble slightly. Marcus remembered that look, whenever she forgot to eat, her hand used to have this almost invisible tremor, one you couldn't quite see but which showed in the way she handled items.

He asked her once how it was possible to forget to eat and even though she explained it to him, he still found it unbelievable. Whenever he was hungry, he was acutely aware of it, the idea of forgetting about hunger was not something he was able to grasp. Granted, he went without food many times, but he never forgot about his hunger which made it even more puzzling to him how she could just forget.

He wasn't about to mention it though, not in front of everyone, so he prepared some tea for everyone in the room, so that way she wouldn't be singled out and couldn't refuse it. He made sure to add extra sugar to hers as a way to boost her energy, even for a moment. Sugar was something they never had on the Ark, one of the many things they still had to get used to although Abby made it abundantly clear what she thought of their people consuming sugar.

"We should dispose of it before anyone sees it," she said, her nose scrunched up in disgust.

"But it's delicious. Here, try one of the chocolate bars."

"I don't care how good it is, sugar used to be the main reason for tooth decay on Earth."

"Oh, but a little bit won't hurt anyone." He pleaded. "You'll change your mind once you try it." Ha passed her the chocolate bar which she took and held in her hand examining it.

"We don't have a dentist; my knowledge is limited and I don't have the time to learn dentistry. We don't have people to spare so they could learn it and it's a preventable problem," she said in exasperation, her face visibly tired.

Guilt washed over Marcus. He only wanted to do something nice, he tried the chocolate bar himself earlier, it was delicious, and he wanted to share it with her but he didn't predict the consequences of introducing sugar to their diet. She was right, it was a bad idea, one that would result in even more work for her and she was already overworked and stretched beyond her limits.

"You're right. I'm sorry." He apologized. "But I think, it's too late now anyway as we've already distributed some chocolate bars by accident on the first day instead of the energy bars. People already know we have plenty and they had a taste of it." He had a slight suspicion that Kara didn't make a mistake and that it was entirely intentional because she wanted to try it but he didn't say anything at the time, his mind occupied with more important matters.

Abby nodded in resignation as she looked at the chocolate bar in her hand. She thought better of it and placed it next to her bitter, black coffee without eating it. But when the council meeting ended and Abby was gone, so was the chocolate bar. She must have taken it with her, hopefully to eat it.

Marcus smiled at the memory; their interactions were so rare these days that he took what he could. He quite hoped she liked that chocolate bar. She never mentioned it though, just like she never mentioned the cookie he left for her.

Before the bunker, herbal tea was Abby's drink of choice, obviously with no sugar but underground, they had so many choices that everyone changed their preferences and Marcus didn't know how she took her tea anymore. Perhaps she drank it black or Earl Grey, perhaps she preferred coffee now, maybe she even took it with sugar or creamer. He had no idea and it pained him because it showed how much they grew apart in such a short period of time. But at least without knowing how she took her tea, he could feign ignorance and without any remorse, he added extra sugar to her tea and placed it next to her just as he placed a mug in front of Cooper.

"Thank you," said Abby without looking at him. She took a sip of her tea, grimaced at the sweetness but didn't say anything.

Clearly, the sugar helped, at least temporarily, because soon, some color returned to her face. Marcus knew it was nothing more than a band-aid but he couldn't do anything else without risking pushing her away so he resigned himself to those small gestures that he could claim were mistakes if ever confronted by her.

End of Chapter 6