Past

February 2004

The swooshing sound of spells was amplified in the magically spacious room as Harry and Hermione dueled. Both were determined to win. An incarcerus spell flew by Hermione's shoulder as she ducked, casting a water charm at Harry's feet trying to trip him. Harry stumbled but rolled, shooting an expelliarmus in her direction.

Harry was frustratingly coordinated. Hermione envied the skill he had to be able to target even while rolling across the floor and then jumping to his feet without using his hands like it was nothing. Hermione tried hard to match that maneuverability but she knew she was much more inclined to be stationary than Harry was, her main advantage in their bouts was the fact that Harry defaulted regularly to about five different spells while she would cast whatever popped into her head.

Harry jumped up and ran toward her. "Accio boot!"

"Aah!" Hermione tried to block it while moving back from Harry but missed. The spell yanked her bloody boot right off her foot and in the process, knocked her over. Her arms pinwheeled as she tried to gain her balance and then his swiftly cast disarming spell yanked her wand out her hand. Harry caught her and her wand nimbly, like a dance he had practiced a million times.

Hermione laughed despite her frustration when Harry caught her, keeping her from banging her head against the floor. "You menace. I've never seen you use that on any of the arrests we've been on."

"No, this one is just for you. Maybe next time I'll try to steal something different." Smiling Harry walked her backwards until she was pressed against the wall behind them.

"Like what?"

His hands went to the buttons on her shirt. "Maybe a shirt. Or a bra."

"I do not give you permission to rip off my clothes, Harry."

"But I should get a prize for winning," Harry whined playfully as he slid his hands into her open shirt, enjoying the feel of her soft skin. He leaned forward to press his lips against the curve of her neck, kissing and sucking briefly. Hermione shivered in his arms and he pressed her harder against the wall. "Or what about permission to vanish them? Please?"

Harry pulled back briefly so he could flip her, one hand grabbing her wrist to keep it behind her back. The strength of his grip made her shiver as she stood pliantly in his embrace. He moved closer again, pressing his body along hers, and she could feel his hard cock pressing against her ass. Harry slid his foot between hers, making her widen her stance.

"Harry," Hermione whispered as his mouth pressed against her neck, wet and hot. She pushed back against him, rubbing against his cock.

"Yes?" He asked again, his husky voice making her pussy wet.

His hips canted against her as if he was already inside her, and she leaned over further her back arching. "Yes."

Immediately she felt the lash of his magic, intense and warm as the nonverbal vanishing spell rushed over her leaving her naked. Bloody showoff, she thought with a smile, as she let him position her. She moaned when his hands slid around her hips, and downward to stroke her pussy.

He rubbed his cock against her before slowly pushing in holding her hips tight so she wouldn't move. Her legs trembled and she knew if he didn't have such a tight hold on her she might have fallen over. Harry withdrew slowly then thrust hard back inside making her moan, her hands flat against the wall as she tried to brace herself.

Each time his cock pushed inside, sliding against all her nerve endings she clenched down on him, trying to keep him inside her.

"I love you." He banded one arm around her waist as the other reached for her breast, playing with her nipple.

It felt so good to be held by him, to feel him moving inside her. "More." She demanded and he moaned behind her, his thrusts speeding up.

When he pushed deep inside her it made it difficult to suck in air. Her breath came in strangled pants as they rocked together against the wall. All her nerves coiling tighter, sweat making them stick together. He bit the curve of her shoulder, his teeth sharp on her skin and Hermione shuddered as she came. Harry didn't stop though, his mouth sucking on his bite as his hips moved against her twice more before he shuddered too and she felt his warmth fill her up.

They both panted for a moment, still while the last echos of their orgasms ran through their bodies. Hermione turned her head to look at him behind her. "You know I think I've spent more on clothes since I moved in with you than ever before."

Harry gave a breathless laugh. "Sorry. Maybe we should have a fighting naked rule. Then I wouldn't be tempted to vanish your clothes."

"We are not having a fighting naked rule!" Hermione pushed him back a little and gave him a quick kiss on the jaw. "I love you but you have really strange ideas sometimes."

"I think if I could learn to fight while your breasts were in my face, I could fight under any conditions. You'd be making me even more unbeatable."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "To think you have the Auror division convinced you're some kind of hard ass."

Harry squeezed her arse and opened his mouth.

"Whatever you're going to say, no. We have to get going, we're going to be late."

"We could call in a rain check."

"No, I want to see how they're getting on. I can't believe Ron's really making a go of it with Padma."

"Why? Who cares?" Harry's face was averted as he ran his hand along her back before finally stepping away.

Hermione nibbled her lip a bit but didn't say anything, as Harry walked out of the training room. Running a hand through her sweat-damp hair, she followed him slower to the shower to get ready for their double date.

Harry was quieter as they got ready, his motions a bit stiff. Hermione knew he didn't want to go, but she didn't say anything because they had already had several conversations that hadn't ended well about the topic.

When they finally made it into the restaurant Ron and Padma were already there and sitting down talking quietly. When Hermione met Ron's eyes, she knew they were doing the same thing to each other, looking for signs the other had relapsed.

Ron gave her a relieved smile that she returned, as they arrived at the table. Harry's hand tightened on her hip and she glanced over at him. Harry's face had that blankness he used when he was at work, keeping his emotions contained. Hermione gave him a little frown but was almost immediately distracted by Padma.

"Oh is that your ring!" Padma asked excitedly when she spotted the flash of gold on Hermione's hand, drawing Hermione's gaze.

"Yes! I told Harry it wasn't necessary but—" Hermione broke off as they sat and she glanced at Harry, a softer smile curving her lips as she remembered his second attempt at a proposal after blurting out during sex the first time. "I really loved it, when he gave the ring to me."

Ron gave a low whistle as Hermione held out her hand so they could see the pale blue sapphire ring in a delicate rose gold setting. "That looks almost like the color of your dress from the ball in fourth year."

"It is," Harry replied before she could, reaching out to grasp Hermione's hand.

Padma shot Hermione a knowing look at the gesture. "So when is the wedding planned?"

"For mid-June. We wanted to give everyone enough time to be off and be able to make it if they want to go." Hermione stared down at her ring and couldn't help but think of who wouldn't be there- her parents. They had found them too late to safely reverse the memory charms according to the healers they had consulted. Harry squeezed her hand drawing her gaze, and she met his emerald gaze for a moment. She gave him a small smile. She wanted to go to the loo before their meal came and so told Harry her order before excusing herself.

When she exited the bathroom Ron was there in the hallway leaning against the wall obviously waiting for her. He looked so much happier now than he had been before, healthier without the constant strain on his face. Hermione hadn't realized how tense they had both been until she had seen a picture of them before they had started the counseling. Looking back it was easy for her to spot the signs she had fooled herself into overlooking with the help of the potions.

"Harry's practically got you on twenty-four watch," Ron grumbled.

Hermione grinned not taking offense. "I like having him with me all the time." She shrugged twisting the ring on her finger. "It makes me feel safe."

Ron looked down the hallway as if he was making sure no one was approaching. "Have you told him?" The words were quieter and weighty. There was no need to be clearer than that for her to understand.

Hermione shook her head, her smile fading as she looked down, still twisting the ring on her finger. "Why bring up the past? I'm done with it. Harry's done with it."

"I already told Padma everything and you're getting married—"

"That was the past, I'm looking toward the future Ron."

"I just–" Ron sighed reaching out and tugging her further from the dining area, down the hallway near the exit. "You know I encouraged you to see where things stood with Harry. But I can't stop worrying about you two. Harry's always angry—"

"No, he's not!" Hermione remembered Harry's face when he was teasing her after they practiced dueling together.

Ron cupped her elbows, his head lowering as he caught Hermione's gaze. He knew how much it bothered Hermione to be less than perfect. While he had struggled with his feelings of worthlessness and jealousy, Hermione had instead struggled to accept that she couldn't be perfect. That she couldn't just decide to "fix" herself and not have nightmares. "Hermione–"

"Hermione." They both turned to see Harry coming down the hallway his hands in his pockets.

Ron immediately let go of Hermione's elbows and stepped back, giving Harry a smile. "Hey, mate." He didn't know how Hermione could miss the anger that hung over Harry like a cloud.

"Padma was wondering where you two got off to," Harry said quietly his hand resting on Hermione's back to urge her back toward the dining area. "I wanted to talk to Ron anyway for a quick moment if you want to go ahead."

"Um. Well." Hermione fidgeted, her gaze going from Ron to Harry.

Harry gave her an easy smile and peck on the corner of her lips. "Be there in just a minute love."

Hermione stared at him for just a second before an answering smile spread across her face and she nodded. "Okay don't be too long."

Ron wasn't at all surprised when as soon as Hermione was out of sight, Harry's hand shot out to grasp his collar and shove him against the wall. Harry's voice was glacial when he spoke, "Cornering my wife when she's going to the loo?"

"She's not your wife yet." As soon as he said the words Ron wanted to cringe. Fuck. His mouth still moved faster than his brain. "I mean—" Ron cut off as Harry adjusted his hold, his forearm pressing against his throat.

"We're not kids anymore, and I'm not putting up with any shit that comes out of your mouth. Especially about my wife ."

"Harry, I'm not trying to cause any trouble, I'm happy for both of you but—"

"No. No buts, no excuses. Don't try. Do not cause trouble for me. Or my wife." Or else. The threat hung between them as Harry shoved Ron back against the wall making his head hit with a crack.

༓ ∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘ ༓

Present

Grimmauld Place

The fire crackled and threw dancing shadows around the room, it was just light enough to read by without straining the eyes. Harry wasn't reading the reports in front of him though, he was watching his wife through his lashes as she flipped through a book on magical maladies.

Hermione was tense today, and Harry had noticed a cut on her hand when he had come home. He had asked her several questions about her day but she had answered in monosyllables not mentioning how she had injured her hand. Hermione had always told him everything except for right after the war. The similarities to her behavior then sparked fear inside him and Harry knew he wasn't handling it well.

Every night he dreamed of that loving look in her eyes and it was like having his soul battered each morning when he woke up to her eyes sliding away from him, dark with unspoken secrets. Finally steeling himself to ask he looked up at her. "How did you hurt your hand?"

Hermione had thought Harry was absorbed in his reading and was startled when his voice broke the silence. She clenched her fist looking down at her hand and little cuts on it. She would have healed it if she had thought about it, but she had been preoccupied with other thoughts. Not that she even knew where the bloody dittany was in this house, although she could have summoned it she supposed.

"Hermione?" Harry prompted when she remained silent.

Hermione looked up at Harry, meeting his eyes. Harry had that careful expression again, his green eyes shadowed.. "I don't know- I mean- an accident."

Harry put aside his paperwork coming to crouch by her in the armchair. "Accio dittany." The bottle flew from somewhere upstairs into his hand. He held out his hand for her but she kept her hands in her lap.

"I can do it."

"I know," Harry said, his hand still outstretched for hers.

He looked like he would stay there forever waiting for her to place her hand in his, his calm gaze steady. He's Harry a part of her mind whispered to her and her hand moved to rest on his. Harry carefully inspected the cut, before applying the dittany, watching in satisfaction as it healed immediately.

"Thank you."

Harry banished the dittany and stroked his fingers over her healed palm, making tingles race through her. "Be careful okay? I don't like seeing you hurt." He told her quietly.

Hermione nodded and looked down at their clasped hands, his fingers lightly stroking against her skin. "You're so different than what I remember. I'm different. I'm trying really hard but it's difficult especially when you are doing things I don't understand. Why is it so hard to let me see Ron?"

Harry's expression didn't change as he stared at her, but it was like the temperature of the room rose several degrees as his magic heated around them. Merlin, Harry's magic had never felt like this to her before, who had he become?

Harry's chest rose and fell with a deep breath, and it was like he sucked all his magic back in, coldness creeping as he used his occlumency, not even acknowledging his anger. Part of her wanted to call him out on it, argue about it. Why did he never say anything?

"Ron is married now."

Hermione sucked in a sharp breath. Oh, that was unexpected. "To who?"

"Padma Patil."

She scoffed at Harry who still knelt by her armchair. The top buttons of his shirt were undone, giving Hermione a perfect view of his throat, the line down his chest. "That doesn't make sense."

"Ron is very happy with Padma," Harry said firmly.

"Okay, Fine. I'm an Auror. We're married. Ron's married to one of the Patil twins!" Hermione knew her voice was rising but couldn't quite control it. It felt like her lungs were shrinking as she spoke, the words coming out wavering as she tried to breathe in and talk at the same time. "They really didn't like you guys after fourth year when you two ruined the Yule Ball for them! None of this makes sense." Hermione shoved the book off her lap, trying to get up but Harry placed his hands on her thighs keeping her sitting.

His thumbs moved back and forth in a caressing motion, trying to soothe her perhaps but it just made her want to yell more despite the fact that she was almost panting now. Harry was some bloody electrical socket and every time he touched her traitorous body leapt in response. Hermione turned away from him looking towards the fire. "I still want to see him."

"Fine. I'll arrange a dinner." His voice was icy.

Anger surged through Hermione at the unfairness of that response. She had gone to sleep living with Ron and working at the ministry and woke up married to a wizard who resembled her best friend whom she barely knew anymore! Pain stabbed at her in the middle of her forehead and she winced, her hand going up to rub the spot. "I'm tired." She muttered.

When his hands slid beneath her, lifting her, she pushed against him, wiggling to get down. "I can walk!"

"I know." He refused to let her down, and Hermione gave up with a sigh relaxing against Harry's chest.

Harry carried her to bed, his arms like steel bands around her, his magic snapping out at his will. Doors opening and shutting, fire and lights extinguishing. He was so adept at wandless and verbal magic that Hermione couldn't help being a bit awed by it. The Harry she knew had been at certain types of magic, especially dueling, but nothing near this skill level.

Hermione didn't say anything as Harry curled closer to her in the dark, his leg shifting between hers, his arms wrapped tightly around her. He coiled around her more closely than Devil's snare.

Harry inhaled quietly, smelling her familiar scent, at least that hadn't changed. Even holding her close, feeling her chest expand and contract quietly in his embrace, anxiety slithered through him. He hadn't been her first choice, or second, or third. Hermione didn't even remember choosing to be with him. She shifted slightly and he tightened his hold, not letting her move.

Fuck. How did he fix this?

It was hours later, the moon high in the sky when the words whispered over Hermione. Harry's voice was so soft and ragged. "I love you."