~ Witch Weekly Issue 7/2005 – Valentine's Special~
Mixed Signals
Witches, please, keep a Calming Draught at the ready, for you might need it after reading the following: only a week ago Draco Malfoy was crowned Most Eligible Bachelor by this very magazine. And although Mr Malfoy claims there is no future Mrs Malfoy in sight, it appears that he might be off the market soon. That is, of course, if you believe a trustworthy source like Mrs Pansy Nott, née Parkinson.
When probed about Mr Malfoy's considerable wear and tear on women, his ex-girlfriend commented with a shrill,
"Womanizer? I don't think you will be able to call him that for much longer."
Perhaps his mother might have given a hint for identifying the lucky witch.
Forgotten are the days of blood prejudice, as Narcissa seems to be on-board with a rather unconventional pick of the bride.
"It is such a big step, and very out-of-the-box within pure-blood circles, but times have changed and I support my son."
Has the sole heir to the Malfoy wealth strayed from the pool of possible pure-blood matches? Will he be the first to break free of the Sacred 28?
This news hits especially hard on the day of love – Valentine's Day – when lonesome witches are all but queueing up to get a chance to be Mr Malfoy's date.
Don't fret, Dear Reader, for this Author will do anything to get to the bottom of this mystery.
With Malfoy at the centre of attention two weeks in a row, Hermione was forcibly reminded of the incident a week ago. Was there nothing more interesting to report than Draco Malfoy's love life?! But who was she kidding... It was Witch Weekly , after all.
"You really think Malfoy is dating a half-blood witch?" Ginny asked nobody in particular, while refilling their cups with coffee.
"Could also be a Muggle-born," Hermione commented and reached for the jam over Harry's plate.
Her friends' brows went so high that they were close to merging with their hairlines. "Muggle-born? Malfoy? Don't think so." Harry shot her a look that clearly told her he thought she must be out of her mind for even suggesting it. Hermione merely spread jam on her toast and shrugged.
"Skeeter twists the truth and helps along the less interesting parts with a pinch of fiction." Since she had published several lurid articles about Harry and the rest of the Golden Trio after the war, all of which could at best be described as leaning towards the truth, there had finally been consequences for Skeeter's artistic freedoms. She was no longer writing for the Daily Prophet , but had moved to Witch Weekly . The tabloid suited her more than the Prophet, in Hermione's opinion.
Not exactly keen on the repeating topic of Draco Malfoy, Hermione grabbed her toast and headed off to her shop.
She heard them before she saw them. A cacophony rang out.
"Mr Malfoy! Mr Malfoy!"
"Are the rumours true?"
"A statement, please!"
"What would your father say?"
"What's her name?"
Shouts from reporters heralded the arrival of Draco Malfoy. As before, he not only dragged in reporters, but also the potential future Mrs Malfoy.
"Oh no!" groaned Hermione, hurrying to the entrance. She threw herself against the door with all her weight, hoping to stop Malfoy from entering, but after a short struggle he pushed through.
His entourage of reporters and groupies nearly trampled Hermione upon filing in after him.
Once again he occupied her plush armchair, opting for a book on potions this time. While it was still possible to get through the crowd last time, this time they were pressed so closely together that Hermione did not dare to think of pushing her way through. Everyone was so eager to catch a glimpse of Malfoy, an accident was inevitable. The rumours of a non-pure-blood bride in combination with Valentine's Day created a constant noise level. The volume was so deafening, Hermione could not even hear her own thoughts anymore.
"QUIET!" Hermione employed the same enhancement charm Dumbledore used after the uproar in fourth year when Harry had been chosen as Triwizard Champion. All heads whipped around to look at her.
"This is not a Draco Malfoy Fan Clubhouse! This is a bookstore, a place of peace and quiet. Anyone not here to buy a book will leave immediately." The delusional future Mrs Malfoy candidates ducked their heads and stared to the ground as they quickly left. The reporters, though, were not as easily swayed.
Hermione stomped towards the cluster of reporters around Malfoy, brandishing her wand furiously.
"This is not a press room either." They were not impressed.
"I am counting to three. Woe to those who have not disappeared by then." Angry sparks flying from the tip of her wand only emphasised her threat as she began counting. Just in time for the last syllable to fall from her lips, the last reporter sprinted through the door. Only Malfoy remained in his armchair, an amused look on his face.
"Well done, Granger. Once a bossy prefect, always a bossy prefect." His gaze fell back to the pages of the book to continue reading, but she blocked his view with her hand.
"What?!"
"This isn't a library, Malfoy. Buy a book and be on your way." As Malfoy shut the book, Hermione pulled her hand back just in time.
"Do you treat all your patrons like this, Granger?" Putting the book aside on the sidetable, he crossed his arms and studied her.
"You aren't a patron," she mirrored his stance, finger tapping impatiently on her arm.
"I distinctly remember buying two books last time I was here, Granger." A triumphant smirk crossed his lips that made Hermione shoot daggers at him with her eyes.
"Why are they following you around anyway?" His hand went to clutch his heart in a display of mock shock and hurt.
"You insult me, Granger. You are not up to date on current events. I am only the most eligible bachelor in all of wizarding Britain. And if Witch Weekly has it right, I will be married soon enough to some mystery woman." This merely made her roll her eyes in annoyance.
"Well, my condolences to the mystery woman." If he were any other man, Hermione would have offered her condolences for his situation. But he was not just any man, he was Draco Malfoy and so Hermione could not muster the strength to offer him her sympathy. Of course, she did not wish him to be besieged by everyone like that, but surely Malfoy had to have enough influence to get rid of them or at least keep them at a distance.
An awkward silence passed between them, interrupted only by Hermione's foot, tapping the floor.
In the end, Hermione went around the corner into another aisle and fetched a book to help things along.
Returning to the far corner of her shop, she jerked her head in the direction of the counter. "I found just the book for you. Let me ring you up." Although his glare let her know that he wished for her to just leave him alone, Malfoy gave a curt nod and followed her. Her choice of The Modern Wizarding Husband was joined by yet another very random pick from Malfoy. Not wanting to give him the satisfaction of landing another insult to her, Hermione turned and retreated into her backroom, not even sparing him a last glance as she heard the bell signal his departure.