"As always, thanks for joining me Gibby, and all the great guests we had today, it's always a pleasure, remember to never lick cacti, and thank you all for tuning into the iCarly podcast." Carly Shay's voice sang through the speaker of Sam's laptop as she packed the final boxes in the bedroom she had shared with an artsy redhead for the past three years. Cat was loud, dumb, and far too perky for Sam's taste. But Cat did take her in when Sam needed somewhere to go. For three years… Sam had been living in Los Angeles for three years. Yet somehow she remembered the day she left Seattle like it was yesterday. Carly was moving to live with her dad, iCarly was effectively finished, and Freddie finally got to kiss the girl he had a crush on for so many years. Where did that leave Sam? Alone. It left Sam alone. Fortunately, a familiar (albeit annoying) voice pulled Sam from her thoughts.
"Are you sure you don't want to stay? My Nona won't mind, you can sleep on the couch. I'll prettyfie it for you with stuffies and blankets and a pillow shaped like a steak." Cat pleaded. "Aw, kid… Your Nona hates me." Sam responded, patting the well-meaning artist's shoulder. "But where will you go? I don't want you to be a hobo." Cat began tearing up. "I'll be okay. I got a little apartment. I'm working part-time at Punchy's Gym. So don't sweat it." Sam reassured her.
"We're clear!" Gibby informed Carly, removing his headset. "Yeah, we are!" Carly replied enthusiastically. Even though this was something like the fiftieth episode of her new podcast, she felt like every episode was her first. Carly loved what she had done with the iCarly brand, even if it was a whole lot different than the humble comedy web show it once was. This thought gave Carly pause, it really was nearly unrecognizable next to the classic iCarly webcast. By the time she returned from Italy Spencer had sold seventeen sculptures to museums around the US, Freddie, (who Carly never expected to move on), and Brad had made a fortune selling their Mood Face 2.0 app, and Sam was nowhere to be found. Freddie had told Carly that her best friend had left Seattle less than 24 hours after Carly's plane left the airport. That hurt. Sam had told Carly that she'd be waiting for her when she returned. Instead, Carly came home to a well-meaning but busy Spencer, an oddly distant Freddie, and a Gibby.
Gibby was largely unchanged as far as Carly could tell, the only real difference being the buzz cut and the rotating door of women in his life. Naturally, Carly never looked at Gibby in any special way, it made working with him very easy. Plus it wasn't as if Gibby didn't have plenty of women to choose from, in fact, he had become something of a lady's man. She and Freddie didn't talk much anymore, which is the opposite of how she thought it would be, after all, she did kiss him, something Freddie had wanted ever since they first met. Carly thought about that kiss a lot over the past few years. Why did she do it? Was it just the uncertainty of the future? Was it simply her trying to ensure he waited for her to come back? Did she have feelings for him? In the end, she decided it didn't matter. Regardless of what it did or didn't mean at the time things clearly had changed. Carly hadn't even talked to Freddie in months.
Freddie Benson closed the tab that was playing the iCarly podcast on his pear-pad in his top-floor loft apartment. He would tune in while he was working every so often, it gave him a hint of nostalgia for the old days of the iCarly web show. Freddie missed brainstorming with Sam and Carly about what the weekly skits would be, and which sound effects he would program into Sam's remote on a given week. He didn't talk with Carly very often these days, which was odd considering she lived only about thirty minutes from him. In fact, Freddie talked to Sam far more often than he talked to Carly. It was an odd situation, just before Carly left for Italy Freddy got what he thought he always wanted, but once it happened it felt hollow. The kiss itself didn't feel right, and it definitely didn't live up to the hype. "I guess sometimes the thing you've wanted your whole life, isn't always what you need." he thought as the sun dipped below the horizon.
Sam awoke to the vibrating of her phone next to her on the floor of her tiny apartment by the box she had fallen asleep unpacking. "Hello?" She said groggily answering the call.
"Hello. Is this Sam Puckett?" asked the woman on the other side of the call.
"Who wants to know?" Sam replied, now fully awake and in defense mode.
"My name's Mary Sue. I'm with Seattle Reginal Hospital. Your mother was in a fairly severe car accident." the woman said grimly.
"Holy chiz! Is she okay?" Sam even surprised herself. She of course loved her mother, but it wasn't as if this was the first time Pam ended up in the hospital.
"Your mother is in stable condition I've already called your sister, she is on the way now," Mary said reassuringly.
Sam groaned. Not Melanie.
"CARLYYYYY!" Carly heard her brother scream from the bottom floor of their loft apartment. She rushed down the stairs. "Spencer! What's wrong?!" she yelled rounding the corner. "LOOK! Look at it!" Spencer exclaimed, holding a taxidermy woodland creature in front of his face. "It's GLORIOUS is it not?" he continued, now in a slightly British accent. Carly rolled her eyes and walked closer to her goofy brother's new toy. "It's a very nice… What is that thing?" Carly inspected it. Spencer interrupted, "BEAVCOON? You know-" "Yeah yeah, head of beaver, butt of raccoon." she finished. "First of all the expression is 'head of beaver, rump of raccoon.' And yeah, Socko made it for me, obviously, it's not authentic, beavcoons are far too rare and elusive to catch, and even if you somehow did catch one they're endangered." Spencer explained. "If by elusive and endangered you mean don't exist and never have." she teased. "You really know how to hurt me," Spencer replied. "Oh stop being a baby. Where are you gonna put it?" Carly asked sitting down with a Wahoo Punch.
"Well, I was gonna put it in the shower, but I don't want him to see me all vulnerable like that." "Ah yes, the beavcoon is known for attacking people in the shower." Carly mocked. "Very funny but how would you like it if this was staring into your soul while you tried to wash behind your ears?" Spencer exclaimed pushing the creature nose to nose with his sister. She had to admit, it was disturbing. "Good point." she conceded. "For now I'll just put him on top of the fridge." Spencer decided. "Yeah… That's where I want him. Next to my breakfast." Carly frowned.
"Big Fudge Applications needs another big idea. What do you got?" Freddie asked taking a seat at the table across from Brad. "Mood Face 3.0? We can just slightly upgrade the software, add some additional features, and charge 50% more." Brad replied confidently. "We can't just slightly upgrade our app and then charge 50% more. Not for at least another 6 months." Freddie replied. "How about an AI-generated art app? People love those." Brad suggested. "It's a fad. We need something that won't be a flash in the pan." Freddie explained objectively. "New social media platform?" Brad asked. "That market is already oversaturated. How about an add-on package for your phone camera? Think about it, phone cameras are more high quality than ever people will want to do more with them. Like when we were working on iCarly, we can add sound effects, visual effects, the whole nine!" Freddie said excitedly. "I love it." Brad approved excitedly. "What are we gonna call it?" Brad asked. Freddie had a brain blast, "Blue Remote editing." he said triumphantly. "Awesome!" Brad fist-bumped him. "Let's get started," Brad said, now equally excited.
Just then, Freddie's phone rang. "Melanie?"
Sam arrived in Seattle around 9am (far earlier than she would ordinarily even wake up). Her mind was racing as she entered the hospital lobby. She had gone straight from the airport to the hospital. It was not until this moment did she realize that she hadn't even considered what she would do once she got here. How long would she stay in town? Would she be able to get a motel? Would her mother even be happy to see her? After all she had just up and left five years ago, no contact aside from the initial lecturing about skipping town and then one or two more when Pam got her back waxxed or whatever disgusting personal care adventure she went on that month. In any case Sam was here now and was promptly escorted to her mother's room. When she opened the door she was immediately greeted with a familiar sickly-sweet smell.
"Samantha!" Sam's twin sister jumped up out of her seat. "Melanie… Yeah, they told me you'd be here." Sam said unenthused. "Samantha, I am so glad you're here," Melanie's voice cracked as she embraced an unmoving Sam. "Sam is fine, and how's she holding up?" Sam asked objectively. "Oh right sorry Sam. And she's doing fine I guess. She's really sleepy though, must be the medicine. She also was talking kinda funky earlier. She said she sold Fluffles. Isn't that so crazy?" Melanie giggled half-heartedly. "Uhhh, sure." Sam took a moment to examine her sister, Melanie had her hair up in the usual ponytail, wore an obnoxiously girly pink top and white skirt, but her eyes, Sam could plainly see Melanie had been doing enough crying for both of them, and for the first time Sam could remember, she actually hugged Melanie, not the other way around. "C'mere kid. It'll be okay." Melanie melted into Sam's embrace. Melanie's fragile frame crumpled in sobs. "Don't snot on my jacket," Sam added in the same sweet tone. "I'm sorry, I wish I could be as strong as you. I'm gonna go see if the hospital has any breakfast snacks do you want anything?" Melanie asked, grabbing a tissue out of her incredibly feminine purse. "Yeah, see if they have fatcakes." Sam requested. "You got it," Melanie said, cracking a smile, disappearing down the hallway.
Sam walked over to her mom's bedside. "It's weird seeing you like this," she said to the empty air above her sleeping mother. "All quiet… and fully clothed." Just then the toilet in the bathroom behind her flushed. Sam jumped into action, drawing the buttersock from her dufflebag, waiting for someone to emerge from the room. After a moment or two the bathroom door swung open, "Benson?"
"Sam!" Freddie froze in place at the sight of Sam and her favorite weapon, holding up his hands prepared for a beating. Luckily Sam lowered the buttery footwear. "What the chiz are you doing here?" Sam exclaimed. "Melanie called me, said your mother was in a wreck and she wanted a ride to the hospital." he explained. "You're here for Melanie? What are you her boyfriend or something?" Sam yelled at him, anger amplified. "Of course not, she just needed a ride," he replied, voice unchanged. "Well, she doesn't need you to stay. I'm here to comfort her now, so get outta here!" Sam screamed, crossing her arms and turning her back to him. Freddie sighed, slowly walking up behind her and lightly resting his hand on her hip. Sam shuddered letting her quickly decaying wall crumble to the ground, her chin dropped to her chest and started sobbing. Freddie wrapped his arms around her waste, hugging her from behind and resting his chin on her shoulder. He knew how Sam hated when people saw her cry, especially him, so he was surprised when she turned to face him, tears streaming down her cheeks. She buried her face in his shoulder, instantly soaking his sleeve. As much as Freddie was cherishing this moment with the girl he missed more than anyone, he knew that there was always a power structure in place that couldn't change. "Hey, Melanie is here, you wouldn't want her to see you like this right?" he suggested. Sam knew what he was doing, and she appreciated it. "You're right, that chick is an emotional bucket of priss. She'd flood the room in tears if she sees someone else all sad and junk." she replied going into the bathroom. And just like that, regular Sam was back. Still, Freddie felt a familiar emptiness in the pit of his stomach.