"Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better."
He wasn't really one for deep, philosophical affirmations but, as he took a moment to surreptitiously watch him watching her, Alvin couldn't help but think that the fortune cookie excerpt couldn't have been more accurate when it came to the Chicago PD Intelligence Sergeant. As Kate Meadows stood a few feet in front of the whiteboard with a furrowed brow, bright hazel eyes darting over each piece of new information, Alvin felt his lips twitch into a knowing smile when Hank's russet orbs subconsciously drifted from the stack of papers Jay had handed him to return to their prior task of covertly observing Kate.
It was long past midnight but the unit was still very much hard at work, hip-deep in leads and surveillance footage as they hunted down yet another sinister serial killer who had been terrorising the city of Chicago for the past six weeks, leaving a harrowing path of dead bodies in his wake. But in amongst the chaos of chasing a psychopath, Agent North continued to be a proverbial thorn in their side, occasionally dropping by to remind them of his dogged pursuit of the person behind Kevin Bingham's unfortunate demise. But, so far, both Alvin and Hank had held firm, refusing to be rattled into making a mistake that would be costly for one, if not both of them.
It wasn't as if it was their first rodeo. He'd been burying bodies at Hank Voight's side for almost three decades and he'd known exactly what he was getting himself in to the night he agreed to help Hank and Erin dispose of Bingham's remains.
For thirty four years, Alvin had watched Hank grow from an eager rookie, desperate to live up to the reputation of his father to, in his opinion, one of the most effective cops to have ever worn a CPD shield. He was smart, tenacious, aggressive and clearly didn't have a problem doing whatever it took to get the job done.
Whatever it took.
The first time that ruthless aggression manifested in taking a life outside of the call of duty was the night they tied a cinder block around the neck of the man who killed Eddie Penland. Even now, he could still recall how the icy chill of the wind burned his cheeks as he pushed Browning off of the side of the boat, a lump forming in his throat as he watched the vague outline of his body disappear beneath the dark waters. While Hank had continued about his business apparently unaffected, for Alvin it had marked the start of a twenty-plus year waiting game wondering when karma would eventually catch up with him because, let's face it, it always did.
But the handful of people who had fallen at Hank's hand had been predators who had no place roaming the streets amongst innocent wives, sons, daughters, grandparents and, although it didn't make it right, it at least made it somewhat bearable. There was nothing he wouldn't do to protect those he loved and, ultimately, Hank Voight was a man who wasn't afraid to do unsavoury things for the right reasons.
Hank navigated his life with a wrought-iron gate around his heart but Alvin was one of the very few who had seen it beat, bleed and shatter just like anyone else's. He had seen the unbridled adoration in his eyes the day that he married Camille, the unconditional love as he held Justin in his arms for the first time and the subsequent agonising heartache when he put him in the ground.
But there had been a tangible shift in his best friend ever since the pretty detective from the east coast rolled into the 21st with her bright eyes and bad-ass attitude and, from the second Alvin set eyes on her, he instantly knew that Hank was going to have his hands full.
He had watched them dance around their attraction for weeks on end. The covert glances when they thought nobody was watching, the subtle brushing of fingers as papers and mugs were exchanged, the occasional guiding hand on a lower back. Then came the undercover gig at the strip club and Alvin could recall barely being able to contain his mirth as Hank all but stopped breathing when the jaw-dropping siren emerged in a scrap of navy silk, all coy smiles, tanned skin and honey curls. 'Breathe' he had muttered quietly, startling Hank into sucking in a much-needed short, sharp breath as he frantically tried to gather himself.
After that night, Alvin knew it was only a matter of time before the two of them succumbed to the inevitable. He had a running bet with Trudy on how long it would take them to seal the deal and, as usual, the desk sergeant had rinsed him of a hundred bucks when they had watched their friend sneak out of the Christmas Gala, hot on the heels of his newest detective. As the weeks passed, Alvin watched from afar as their romance continued to blossom but it wasn't until he called Hank's cell at three in the morning only to hear Kate's sleepy voice at the other end of the line were his suspicions finally confirmed.
He had to hand it to them. For the most part, they remained so professional that you wouldn't have guessed there was anything going on between them at all. He had assumed that it would only be a matter of time before either himself or Atwater copped an eyeful given that their respective partners were now partners of a different kind and, sure enough, a few weeks after they made their relationship 'official' with the CPD brass, he had stumbled upon the pair engaged in a passionate clinch in the locker room when he'd come in early to file a CI report Trudy had been badgering him about for months. But regardless of the probability, it had certainly been a surprise when he strolled into the locker room just as the sun was filtering through the dusty window to find his best friend pinning his girlfriend against said lockers with his mouth on her neck and his hand up her shirt.
Yet despite the clear affection the two had for one another, it hadn't been plain sailing having to navigate the dynamics of both a personal and professional relationship, they seemed to be making it work.
If he really thought about it, he couldn't ever recall Hank being more at peace than he had been before North showed up. He and Meredith had spent a lot of time in the Voight's company over the years and, while it was clear that Hank and Camille had been very much in love, there was something about the way he looked at Kate that felt different somehow.
Alvin didn't necessary think that Hank loved Kate more or less than he did Camille, he just loved her differently.
Physically, the two women were polar opposites. Camille had been willowy with porcelain skin and dark, soulful eyes while Kate's lithe, hourglass shape and sun kissed skin was like something out of every man's mediterranean wet dream. Yet as disparate as they were in looks, it was clear that Hank had a thing for strong, stubborn, determined women.
Both Camille and Kate were as hard-headed, passionate and loyal as they come but, then again, he figured whoever took on the seemingly insurmountable task of sharing a life with Hank Voight would need to be made of some pretty substantial stuff to make it through the day. But while Camille had learned when to turn the other cheek, there was no doubt in Alvin's mind that Kate would rather go down in a blaze of glory than walk away from a fight; a trait that filled him with pride and anxiety in equal measure.
He had a lot of respect for Kate's abilities as a cop but he had come to respect the woman behind the 5021 Sam callsign a hell of a lot more having seen first-hand the love she clearly felt for his best friend. Alvin knew better than most that Hank was volatile, difficult and oftentimes downright unpleasant but she seemed to embrace each and every one of his flaws with an open heart and continued to remind him just how much she loved him anyway. And that was the reason why he had reached out to an old army buddy who had spent a bit of time working homicide out of the 8th precinct in New Haven to see if he could get a copy of Philip Meadows case file.
Hank had briefly told him how Kate's father had been brutally gunned down in a robbery gone wrong and how she'd worked the case as a side project when she was a rookie detailed to Boston Narcotics. She hadn't even been a year out of the academy at the time but, nonetheless, she had tenaciously chased every lead, spending every spare minute she had reading through the reports, witness statements and anything else that might lead to the identity of the people who murdered her father. After almost two years of trying desperately to find the closure she'd been searching for, she had reluctantly tucked the case away in a box and did what she could to move on with her life.
The file had arrived in the post a few weeks' ago and instantly Alvin could sense there was something amiss. He wasn't sure yet if it was the cynic in him or just decades of experience but, whatever it was, it was screaming at him to dig a little deeper and, the deeper he went, the more holes and discrepancies he found. But the biggest red flag of all was nestled deep in the middle of a GSA report stating that the Department of Consumer Protection had confirmed that the gas station Phillip Meadows was murdered in had adhered to the legal requirement of having security cameras fitted both in store and on the forecourt. Yet, according to the police report, there was no footage to speak of so omebody had either tampered with the cameras or somebody had tampered with the footage; and his gut was telling him it was the latter.
'Your gut's always been smarter than you, Alvin.'
"Earth to Alvin."
His eyes darted across the room to where Hank was standing with an expectant expression on his face, clearly having said something that required a response and, judging by Atwater and Ruzek's matching grins of amusement, Alvin's apparent lack of focus hadn't gone unnoticed.
"Sorry man, think I need more coffee." He grumbled, swiping his empty mug from the edge of the desk and pushing to his feet. "What did you say?"
"I said, do you still have that hooker CI in Pilsen?" Hank repeated, folding his arms over his chest. "What's her name, Rose?"
"Lily. It's been a minute since we connected…" He rolled his eyes at Ruzek who guffawed at his slightly unfortunate choice of words. "…but, uh, I can reach out, see what she knows."
When he slipped into the kitchen, Kate was leaning against the counter, seemingly lost in thought as she brewed yet another pot of coffee, the familiar smoky aroma swirling in the air around them.
"Hey kid." He mumbled in greeting, plonking his mug on the countertop next to the two empty cups she'd already lined up for a refill and she turned to greet him with a genuine, albeit tired smile.
"Hey Al. Everything alright?" She asked, her eyes searching his face, brows pinching in concern. "Looked like you were a million miles away earlier."
A soft smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. "You ever considered being a detective?"
Kate returned his smile with a slight roll of her eyes at the gentle jibe. "Just checkin' in, wiseass." She murmured, bumping her shoulder against his before turning to pour the strong, black java into the three mugs.
"How's he been?" Alvin asked quietly after a few moments, dark eyes tracking Kate's hands as she methodically added a combination of sugar and coffee creamer to the two end mugs, leaving the middle one black.
"I'm doin' what I can but…" She tailed off, hiking a shoulder as she released a long, slow breath. "…I can already feel him pulling away."
It didn't come as a surprise to him that Hank was already reverting to his default position of keeping everyone at arms length when things got rough but he was somewhat reassured by her stubborn tone and the determined set of her shoulders.
"Trust me to fall in love with a man who's more fucked up than I am." She muttered with a humourless laugh, sliding Alvin's mug towards him before grasping her own between her palms, propping her hip against the counter and lifting her eyes to meet his, the myriad of emotions swirling around her bright hazel orbs making his heart clench in his chest. In that moment she looked so young and innocent, yet somehow so much older than her years at the same time.
"Good job he's worth it." She added quietly, her mouth pulling into a tight smile that never even came close to reaching her eyes but, before he could respond, the man himself appeared in the doorway behind them, his hands stuffed into the pockets of his jeans and a curious expression on his face as he cast his eyes between his two detectives.
"You get anything from the burner phone?" He asked, taking a few steps into the kitchen, the dim lights only serving to highlight the dark circles beneath his eyes and the deep lines etched into his face.
"Nothin' useful but I'll keep digging." Kate replied, gripping the handle of his navy CPD mug as she closed the space between them to hand him his coffee, briefly pausing at his elbow to push up onto her toes and gently touch her lips to the corner of his mouth before heading back to her desk, leaving the two men alone.
"So much for keepin' it professional." Alvin mused idly once Kate was out of earshot, his moustache twitching with amusement when Hank merely grunted in response.
"You think I can say no to her?" He grumbled with a roll of his eyes but he too seemed to be unable to stop the slight quirk of his lips when Alvin acquiesced with a casual hike of his shoulder.
They fell into comfortable silence, lost in their own thoughts until Alvin quietly asked if Hank had heard any more from North in the last couple of days but apparently the FBI Agent had been radio silent.
"Well I guess no news is good news." Alvin said evenly, taking a long sip of coffee with a hum of satisfaction as the spicy bitterness hit his tastebuds, hoping that the caffeine boost would help get him through the next few hours.
"Look, we still don't know what they got…if anything." Hank reasoned, casting a brief glance over his shoulder to make sure they wouldn't be overheard. "But, whatever happens, we'll deal with it."
Of course they would. They had been getting jammed up with such regularity that you'd think wriggling their way out of a tight spot would be as natural as breathing by now. But the uncomfortable, hollow feeling deep in the pit of Alvin's stomach had him feeling like the sands of time were slowly slipping through his fingers. Surely their run of luck couldn't last forever?
Despite the wretched churning in his stomach, he graced Hank with a nod and a tight smile, pushing away from the counter to make his way back to the bullpen but, just had Kate had done minutes earlier, he paused briefly at Hank's elbow.
"Hey, uh, do me a favour?" He said quietly, deep brown eyes meeting warm russet. "Don't leave her out in the cold."
He knew he didn't need to elaborate on who he was referring to when recognition flashed across Hank's face.
"I'm not sayin' you gotta tell her everything." He clarified quickly, already anticipating Hank's argument that sometimes plausible deniability was the best defence you could have. "Just don't push her away."
'She loves you too damn much.'
His final thought, while not vocalised, seemed to echo in the empty space between them and he knew that Hank had heard him loud and clear when his face became sombre and he swallowed thickly.
"She's about the best thing that's ever happened to me Al." Hank eventually muttered, his voice barely above a whisper.
Hank was always so carefully guarded that the flicker of fear that passed fleetingly across his face caught Alvin by surprise.
For a decade, he had resolutely refused to even entertain the thought of opening himself up to love and, up until this moment, Alvin had always wondered why. For the first few years he figured he just wasn't ready but, as time went by, he began to think that perhaps he had been alone for so long that he simply didn't want to share anything but the occasional night with somebody else.
But now he finally understood.
Hank was utterly terrified of the people closest to him getting hurt because of his actions, his mistakes. Now he had finally taken the leap of faith by letting Kate into his life and all of those fears had been magnified ten-fold the second Agent North had strolled in with his threats and his smug, cocksure attitude.
Love was truly a wonderful thing but it also had the power to bring you to your knees like nothing else on earth.
Lifting a palm, Alvin gave Hank's shoulder a firm but comforting squeeze.
"Then you do whatever you gotta do to hang onto her."