Evermore

author's note at the end of chapters!

trigger warnings: mentions of abuse, cheating.

a note for this story: trigger warning- mentions of abuse. please proceed with caution.

Chapter One

Picture To Burn – Taylor Swift

So watch me strike a match
On all my wasted time
As far as I'm concerned
You're just another picture to burn

Isabella always woke up on the other end of a nightmare, often struggling to breathe. She was always getting suffocated in her dreams.

She rolled over to check her clock and groaned, seeing she was hours ahead of her alarm. She did not need to set one, not really, because she was always up way before she ever needed to, but a girl could hope. Isabella rolled over to her back and let out a deep breath, rubbing her face then immediately dropping her hands to her side. She could hear her mother's voice. You'll get wrinkles, child. Stop.

Isabella sat up and hugged her knees to her chest, looking at the soft light streaking through the dorm. She hated when her brain did that to her. She looked back at the clock again and then decided that her best course of action would be to go for a run, of course, because what else was a sane person to do, especially at this hour? It was her favourite thing to do. No one else was up, and she was a prefect. She would get away with it. The stupid dementors meant she wasn't able to circle the castle like she preferred, so Isabella settled on the Quidditch pitch instead. The cold, crisp air cleared her mind enough, and at the end of the hour, Isabella took a moment to savour being back in her favourite place on earth.

Hogwarts.

Isabella's summer had been horrendous. She felt as if her parents were getting worse with age. Isabella had tried to stay out of the way as much as possible, but her parents always got to her. Physically and emotionally. Her body was bruised and tired, and her mind had long locked itself away as it always did. She was barely a month into school, and she hadn't yet managed to coax herself out her own head. Her true self. Isabella just had to breathe. She was safe right now, and she needed to enjoy it before she wasn't again. She was just so tired of the routine.

It was a slightly more reasonable hour when she decided to return back to the dorm, but on her way into the castle, Isabella passed the Weasley twins, and they spotted her before she could duck her head down and move on. She hoped it would be a simple hello, as it seemed they were on their way to Quidditch practice. As always with the pair, Isabella was wrong.

"Yaxley!" Fred cheerfully greeted, despite the cold, stormy weather. Isabella was aware of the fact she was possibly soaked through to the bone, and considering her slightly weakened state, was likely to catch a cold. She did not care.

"Morning, boys," she greeted. "Practise?"

"Wood's gone insane," George answered just as cheerfully. The twins were both quite tall, at least six foot, Isabella decided, with flaming red hair long enough that it poked in several directions. Almost every part of them matched, but Isabella couldn't work out what allowed her to tell them apart. She just could.

"My condolences." She started to pull her brown hair down from its ponytail, deciding to allow her head to relax.

"Why're you out?" Fred asked, raising his eyebrows as they all looked up at the sky. For all her intelligence, Isabella was beginning to think she did not initially think her exercise through. The earlier light had gone and grey clouds marred the sky, indicating rainfall.

"Fancied a run." She shrugged, hoping the boys would move on. Again, wrong. Predictable.

"If you catch a cold, please pass it on to us," Fred begged, grinning. It was his trademark grin, charming and radiant as always. Maybe that was the telltale. George's smiles always seemed more earnest. "Maybe then Wood will leave us be."

"I wouldn't get your hopes up," Isabella responded. "Sorry to break it to you."

"We know it deep down. We're just in denial," George muttered sadly, although a large smile plastered his face too.

"Someone has to be the bad guy. I'll see you guys in Herbology Monday. And please have your sections of the report done. I want it early marked," Isabella added. The boys saluted Isabella and then marched off. Isabella breathed and then returned inside, mind wandering to her warm shower. By the time she came out of it, the bathroom steaming behind her, the other girls in her dorm had started to rise. After Isabella had changed, she placed herself on Daniella's bed, waiting for her friends to get ready so they could eat together.

"For as early as you get up, Iz, you'd think you'd do more to get ready," Daniella said. Isabella was watching her friend put makeup on and rolled her eyes at her remark.

"I did more to get ready," Isabella mumbled. "I put on a bit of makeup." Daniella stared at her friend and sighed, picking up a brush to run through her short black hair.

"I wish I could wear that little. You just look so pretty. I can't tell."

"You are that pretty, Dani. Don't be mean to yourself," Isabella chastised. "What time do you think Adrianne will wake?" Daniella snorted and they both stared at the only bed left with curtains drawn.

"Way after midday. We can go when I'm ready; she wants to go to Hogsmeade with her boyfriend, anyways. They'll join us for a butterbeer there." Adrianne's boyfriend was fellow Pureblood Slytherin, Jonathon Alton. They'd been together a year and were a very sturdy couple, possibly the sturdiest Isabella had seen. Isabella also had a boyfriend, Thomas Gaunt, who was also pure-blooded. They'd been together for nearly eleven months. Isabella liked him a lot but wasn't sure if she was in love with him. He was just a safe option. Ish. He was cute, too, which Isabella felt was really why they were dating. Isabella had been having her doubts recently, however. Something just felt off.

"Oh, that's nice. Should I be with Tom today? I kind of just want to be with you."

"Thank god. I don't have a boyfriend to ditch you for. Please don't ditch me." They both giggled, and Daniella put down her makeup bag. "Come on. Coffee's calling our name." When they had sat for breakfast, Isabella realized she'd chosen right to stay with her friends when she noticed Thomas sat with his mates.

"Hope you don't mind, darling. We can do it together another weekend." Thomas kissed her, pulling away to smile at Isabella. She also thought that he was with her for the looks. She minded only a little. She also minded when he called her darling. It was what her parents called each other, and no matter how much she asked, Thomas would not give her another nickname.

"No problem at all," she responded. "Dani and I have some things to sort." They kissed and Tom bid his goodbye to the girls, just as his friends called him over.

"You know, I love you when I say this," Daniella started, peering at Isabella as she buttered a slice of toast. Isabella sighed, knowing exactly what her friend was going to say.

"Yes, Dani?"

"I just don't get why you're with him. He doesn't seem like your type." Isabella tilted her head as she looked at her friend, eyebrows raising.

"And you know my type?"

"Your type is not a prick. Tom is a big fat prick." Daniella shrugged and bit into her toast. "I am just saying. I don't understand, to be honest. It seems like you're just going through the motions."

"I like him. That should be enough," Isabella responded, moving her attention back to her breakfast.

"But what do you like about him?" Daniella asked, exasperated.

"Lots. He's handsome, he's fun to hang with. We have fun conversations."

"Convincing," Daniella snorted. "I just think you could do better, babe. It's not personal."

"Well, I was going to hold out this conversation for the Three Broomsticks, but you're honestly saving me money." Isabella placed her fork on her plate and sighed.

"You've been thinking?"

"Yeah."

"Three Broomsticks it is." What Isabella liked about Daniella, a little more so than Adrianne, is they could be in complete silence together, and Isabella could organize her thoughts as the pair walked down to the little village to present her argument to her friend. She was sure Daniella was lost in her own thoughts and worries too, and it soothed Isabella a little to know. They both tried hard to ignore the cold feeling the Dementors set in the air, and both felt relieved as they sat in the back of the pub, warm drinks in hand.

"Let's have it, then. Calling this session in order." Daniella slammed her drink down on the table. Isabella took a deep breath.

"I think you're right. I think I shouldn't be dating Tom. I can't let myself get comfortable with him, and we've been dating a year. I can tell you and Addy anything." Isabella had long ago opened up about her home life to her friends, with the promise they wouldn't try and solve it. "All he wants to do is talk about himself. The confidence was hot at first, of course."

"Of course it was. But if it's not fulfilling for you…" Daniella trailed off.

"I think I've been staying because my parents mentioned him as a potential husband. For when I graduate." Isabella took a long sip of her drink to steady herself. "But I don't want that anymore. I can't jump from one to the other. I want to get out." Isabella had been working on an escape plan, something to get her safely out of her parents home, ever since she was thirteen and realized it was possible.

"Then we'll figure it out. You've spent a long time unhappy. Don't spend anymore."

"I should break up with him?"

"It's decided."

"What's decided?" Adrianne plonked herself on the chair next to Isabella, and her boyfriend Jonathon sat next to Daniella, who side-eyed him before snatching the drink he held out as peace offering. Daniella was not the biggest fan of Jonathon, but only because it meant Adrianne sometimes chose to hang with him over the girls.

"I think- no, I am going to break up with Tom," Isabella declared.

"Well, cheers to that." Jonathon winked at Isabella and held up his butterbeer. Daniella knocked her glass against his.

"Glad to see we're seeing eye to eye here."

"Don't be so insensitive," Adrianne scolded, placing an arm around Isabella and squeezed. "You're sure? I didn't realise you were so unhappy with him." Isabella shrugged.

"I think we're just not right for each other," she grumbled into her drink.

"Between us all," Jonathon mumbled and moved his head to the middle of the table. The girls followed suit to hear what he had to say on the top. Jonathon was generally unserious, which was why Daniella found him annoying, but when he wanted to be, Merlin he was wise. "Tom has been saying some… unbiblical things, and not a lot of them about you, Isabella."

"Unbiblical? Didn't realise you were so religious?" Daniella asked him.

"That was an icky way of putting it, Jon," Adrianne mumbled.

"I don't care. His business," Isabella responded simply. "But thank you."

"Those boys are just gross sometimes. I can't wait to be free of them," he said sadly.

"You'll be fine," Adrianne said. "Were you not telling me this morning-"

"Baby!"

And that was that. The couple separated from Isabella and Daniella, who spent the rest of their afternoon moseying around Hogsmeade before they no longer could. Isabella picked herself more sugar quills and Daniella picked herself a new set of exploding snap cards, for her old ones were well and truly burnt.

And then later that afternoon, they returned to the common room to drop their stuff off so that they were able to laze around by the Great Lake, and soak up the last of the autumnal Scottish sun. On their way down to the lake, they passed a broom cupboard that was rattling quite intensely. Daniella made Isabella stop before it.

"I'm not butting in. We'll both be traumatised," Isabella added, eyeing the cupboard with mild disgust on her face. They both very well knew what was occurring inside.

"You're a prefect. Isn't that your duty?" Daniella prompted. Isabella could not understand why Daniella was so giddy about this.

"Maybe you should've been the prefect," Isabella grumbled. "Leave it for Filch."

"Well, I want to know who it is."

"Oh. Of course you do." Isabella sighed at her friend, who was now sporting a massive grin. "Do I have to be here for it?"

"You're the prefect. Come on, let's have a little bit of fun!" Daniella nudged Isabella's shoulder.

"Not once, in the history of you or Adrianne saying that, has it ever been fun." Nonetheless, Isabella steadied herself and stepped forwards to open the broom cupboard. Daniella was smiling like a kid on Christmas morning.

"Prefect!" Isabella called, then she pulled the door open to disrupt whatever activity was occurring. What she and Daniella saw made them both freeze on the spot, eliciting a shriek from the girl inside.

"Oh! Isabella!" Thomas exclaimed, and quickly shoved Annabelle Flint off of himself. At the sound of his voice, Isabella quickly composed herself.

"No. We're done," she declared, and turned to grab Daniella's hand so they could leave the scene. Annabelle Flint had already recovered and scurried off. Isabella had thought they were friends, considering they were in the same house and the same year, but maybe not. She didn't consider this a big loss.

"Wait! Don't you-"

"No!" Isabella cut across her now ex-boyfriend. "I don't want to hear it. We're done, leave me be." She pulled at Daniella again and they hurried off, back to the Slytherin dorms, with Thomas' voice calling down the hall.

"Erm, Iz, are you okay?" Daniella asked her friend quietly. They stormed into the common room, causing everyone in the room to stare. Isabella pulled at her friend.

"Not here. Come on," Isabella mumbled. They climbed up to their dorm and onto Isabella's bed, pulling close the curtains and placing a silencing spell around themselves.

"Is?" Daniella asked again. Isabella followed her ritual of taking a deep breath several times before she spoke.

"I just need one night to deal with this, and then I'll be ok," she said, her eyes wet as she looked at her friend. Daniella curled an arm around Isabella sympathetically. "It's so funny that I was going to break up with him, and then-"

"It can still hurt," Daniella said, giving Isabella a squeeze. "He was your first everything. Whether you loved him or not. It's okay to mourn what you lost and what you had."

"I don't know that I did love him," Isabella weakly mumbled, swiping at her eyes. Just at that moment, Adrianne poked her head between the curtains of Isabella's bunk.

"Hey, guys, you'll- Izzy? What's wrong?" Adrianne climbed onto Isabella's bed and gently placed a hand on Isabella's knee. The girls had found that soft touches often kept Isabella grounded, and prevented her from spiralling to only god knows where.

"We came across Tom and Annabelle Flint in a very compromising position," Daniella explained.

"Oh, dear Merlin. Gross," Adrianne mumbled. "You okay?"

"I'll be good in the morning. At least it made breaking up quick and easy." Isabella was now only focused at her hands, pulling at the edges of her sweater.

"A silver lining to everything. Hey, on a side note, if I bat-bogey hexed him, you wouldn't be mad?"

"You sound like a Weasley," Isabella grumbled.

"Oh just you wait. They find out and old Tom will have to watch his back until they strike. Those twins just have a soft spot for you." Isabella snorted weakly, but didn't have the energy to fight her friend on that. The twins were just nice to Isabella because she had already put the fear of Merlin into them in terms of schoolwork, and she was nice back. She wouldn't call it a soft spot. They were nice to everyone.

"Hey, we could so set Peeves on him, and he would never know," Daniella suggested. "Adrianne, you're so smart."

"I try."

author's note

hello all! new story. realise I haven't been here since I started uni. I have just graduated. hoping to complete this story :)

I am obsessed with Taylor Swift, so wanted to give each chapter its own song & pull the title/overiding theme with one of my favorite songs. either way, this makes my lil brain happy!

thanks for reading :)