Hey!

Guess who started a new job, got stuck in a bad situation, had a trauma episode, and had to spend the night in a crisis center because they tried to do something really stupid during the trauma episode?

Donald Duck in "Fun and Fancy Free."

Seriously, that scene was horrifying to a kid.

I'm okay now, though. I just have to take a sedative if I ever feel like I'm about to fall apart again.

It makes me feel better, but it also makes me really sleepy.

I haven't slept so well since right after my wisdom tooth surgery.

Anyway, the chapter's done now so I should go work on my OG story for a bit, especially since October is coming.

I'm already afraid of whatever abominations will be released this year - both from me and everyone else.

Roy knew Edward had been awake for a while, but just as Fullmetal hadn't opened his eyes, Roy did not rouse the boy.

Roy wasn't sure if it was because the kid was trying to go back to sleep or because coming awake meant having acknowledge he was clutching Roy's arm like a stuffed bear. Roy wasn't exactly eager to point out that fact and was more than happy to simply let things be.

Then the door opened and the doctor and a second nurse entered, the nurse pushing a cart in front of her.

Edward started, then stared, then frowned in nervous curiosity. Roy simply watched, though he gave Ed's hand what he hoped was a soothing squeeze. Ed pulled away from him as if the colonel had pinched him and Mustang fought the amused smile that threatened to show itself. Riza, ever-knowing, knew what he was hiding, even if she didn't know why. She tilted her head questioningly and Roy waved the question away.

"Nothing's wrong," Tomas was quick to reassure them as the nurse slid herself into the small space between the bed and the wall on the opposite side of Roy. Edward tried to turn his head so he could watch the nurse with wary eyes, but he could only turn his neck so far.

Roy suddenly thought of a cat trying to find the source of a mysterious but harmless noise and felt the corner of his mouth twitch.

He also felt Riza's questioning glare intensify.

"If nothing's wrong, what are the supplies for?" Roy tried to distract himself with the obvious choice of words.

"We're only changing the bandages," the second nurse explained, dipping her hands in the bowl of soapy water on the cart and then wiping them off with the accompanying towel. "There are just… a lot of them. It shouldn't take too long, though."

This explanation seemed good enough for Edward because he appeared to lose interest, rolling his head onto the pillow and closing his eyes with a bored sigh.

Roy and Riza exchanged knowing glances and Roy tried to take hold of Edward's hand again. Ed pushed him away with a grunt of annoyance.

Then snatched Roy's hand with a grip that would have hurt if Ed had been at full strength.

Roy was glad Alphonse had chosen that moment to occupy himself with errands as he watched Fullmetal's pink face pale and his bloodshot eyes bulge out of his face.

"I know it probably stings," the doctor said unhelpfully as he watched Tomas sidle beside the nurse and reach across the bed to press his stethoscope to Edward's bare chest. "You're still pretty swollen, but at least that means your immune system is working."

If that was supposed to make Ed feel better, it didn't work. Edward shivered and swallowed hard like he was swallowing down any noise of pain along with his spit.

Roy forced himself to study Fullmetal's rose-tinted ashen face. The alternative was watching the nurse pull the saturated the gauze out of the wound on Ed's back.

Roy had both watched the procedure and participated in it. He did not need to see anything to know what Edward was feeling.

"Hold on," Tomas said sharply and the nurse froze as if she had been petrified.

Edward pulled in deep breaths with a practiced calm that both impressed Mustang and broke his heart. A single glance at Riza's tender expression told him she felt the same.

"Okay," Tomas said a bit sympathetically and the nurse started pulling again. Edward stiffened and hissed through his teeth.

"Lieutenant," Roy said before he realized he was speaking. Riza started, not expecting to be addressed, then nodded to show that she was listening. "Do you remember when we were caught in that sandstorm in Ishval and I was sand blind for three days?"

Riza's questioning face replaced her sympathetic one. Roy rarely spoke about Ishval. Riza never did. This topic, in particular, Roy had sworn her to secrecy. Roy gave a barely imperceptible jerk of the head towards Edward to explain his intentions and Riza's face softened with what looked suspiciously like pride, though Roy had no idea why.

"Yes, I do, sir. You refused a guide despite multiple suggestions - and orders - from your comrades. You ended up walking into the pole of your tent and knocking it on top of yourself. You were wrapped up in your own tent for two hours before you finally let Maes and me help you." Riza smiled in a way that made Roy's heart skip a beat and not just because of the dark thoughts the smile spawned in his mind. "The men were making jokes on how responsible it was of you to insist on being 'wrapped' for a week."

Roy felt his jaw go slack with horror. Riza shrugged, her own face saying, This is what you wanted, isn't it?

Sure enough, when Roy turned to Edward, the boy's pinched expression had eased somewhat, replaced by a pair of curious half-open eyes and an expectant tilt of the head.

"Why would wrapping yourself up be 'responsible'?"

Roy glanced at Riza for help - this was her fault, anyway - but all he got was that same smug look, something that he very rarely, if ever, saw on her.

"He's thirteen. He's old enough to know."

"I'm fourteen in two months," Edward reminded them with an annoyed pout that had Riza chuckling, which only served to add to Ed's annoyance.

Roy sighed, closed his eyes to collect himself, and then looked Fullmetal in the eye.

Horror scorched through him as he was forced to acknowledge that his major was little more than a child. It wasn't the first time and Roy knew it wouldn't be the last.

"You know how… when a man and a woman decide to… sometimes they do it just for the fun of it."

Edward blinked.

Roy groaned.

Riza let out a full on laugh.

Mustang gave himself a moment, lowering his head between his arms while his hands linked on top of his head, then looked up again, just as unprepared as he had been ten seconds ago.

"Do you know how babies are made?"

Roy couldn't help joining Riza in laughter as Ed jerked away with such suddenness that he made a squeal of pain and the nurse reminded him to lie still.

"Sometimes, people engage in… baby-making activities… because they enjoy the process and not necessarily because they want a baby. When that's the case, the partners will 'wrap themselves' with… accessories to make sure that a baby doesn't happen."

Edward's revulsion had lessened as he listened, his signature fascination swallowing it until the wrinkles on his nose had moved to his forehead.

Roy noticed with some discomfiture that those wrinkles had pressed into worry lines.

"Why would someone… do that if they didn't want a baby? Isn't that the whole point of it?"

Tomas smiled softly and the nurse dealing with the gauze giggled affectionately.

"Do you eat cake and ice cream because you want the sugar rush or because you like the way it tastes?" Riza supplied, crossing her arms and leaning against the wall like a professor casually delivering a lecture.

Edward studied the linen beneath him as he complicated the analogy, then nodded as he accepted it.

"It's still gross, though," he said with finality and the nurse behind him had to pause in her work to laugh.

"Give it another five or seven years. You might just change your mind. And, done," she said, pulling the last of the soiled bandages out of the wound and dumping the armful into an empty bowl on the cart.

Edward's eyes had popped out of his head and Tomas reminded him to focus on his breathing. Roy brushed his thumb over the back of Ed's hand.

The nurse dunked her hands in the soapy water and scrubbed thoroughly. After vigorously drying her arms with the towel, she unwound the roll of fresh bandages and shoved them gently but effectively beneath the skin.

Edward made a terrible choking sound and barely stopped himself from arching his spine.

"Wait," Tomas said and the nurse obediently stopped.

Edward was trying to take sufficient breaths, which meant fighting the urge to hold them. Roy racked his brain for anything he might be able to do, some story he might be able to tell to distract the kid from the feeling of fingers in his flesh.

It was, of course, at that moment that there was a knock at the door and Alphonse let himself in, ducking his helmet as he passed under the doorway.

"Hey, Brother, I found a book on the properties of minerals in relation to the taste of different alcohols and I thought you might be - oh."

Ed's eyes went wider, somehow, and he reached for the blanket as if he meant to cover himself, like his brother had just walked in on him coming out of the shower. Tomas pulled it away with a snipped command for Ed to hold still.

For a few seconds, the armor and the boy stared at each other. When Alphonse broke the silence, he did not say what anyone had expected him to say.

"Geez, Brother, I know you like having girls' hands in you, but this is ridiculous."

Mustang had no idea if Alphonse understood what he'd just said, but it certainly didn't stop him or Tomas to nearly face-plant into Edward's ribs as they fought suffocation. Riza made a scandalized gasping sound but had the self-control to stop her response there. The nurse's face had turned an oddly guilty-looking shade of pink.

Edward's eyes narrowed and he snarled at his brother.

"Alphonse. Go away."

Al raised a gauntlet in a placating way, his other arm weighed down by books, and started backing away towards the threshold.

"Okay, fine. It's not like I'm going to tell Winry or anything. She'd make you strip and then stick her hands in you just to prove she can do it better. And it'd be in public."

Tomas crumpled to floor with a sob. Al's humor vanished as he clanked to the nurse's side, hearing the noise the man made but misinterpreting the reason for it.

"Oh, no! Are you okay? Is Brother okay?!"

"He's fine, Alphonse," Riza was quick to rescue the nurse from being rescued. "Everyone's fine, it's just… come with me and I'll explain."

Alphonse's worry deflated, replaced by ashamed frustration.

"Oh, I know that look. You look at Brother that way every time he says a thing he's not supposed to say by accident. Like when he told you clicking your boots in the archives would help you be less stressed out."

Edward snarled.

"We agreed to never speak of that."

Alphonse was unfazed.

"No, I didn't. You told me that I agreed. I didn't say anything. You should try it sometime."

It was supposed to make Ed snort, or at the very least scoff. He seemed to start to, then appeared to remember something, and the snort turned into a look somewhere between fear and deep regret.

Alphonse started with confused concern, then stiffened with anger as he realized.

Roy felt the now familiar bubble of rage rise inside of him. He reflexively started to shove it back down, then thought better of it. He let the bubble burst and gave Edward's hand an affirming squeeze.

"Brother, I didn't mean it like that -"

"It's fine, Alphonse," Roy said before Riza could step in, knowing that she would because she would assume that Roy wouldn't. The way she glanced at him in slight surprise told him he was right. "I've found I much prefer a chatty, bratty Fullmetal over a small and sweet one. He's awfully boring when he's obedient."

Edward dug his nails into the back of Roy's hand.

"Not small an' not sweet."

Roy met his annoyed glare with a signature smirk.

"And thank God for that."

This surprised Edward so thoroughly that he didn't immediately notice that the nurse was moving again. When he did, he squeaked, a small sound he stifled almost as soon as he made it.

By the way Alphonse reached for him, Ed might have screamed in agony.

"Almost done," the nurse promised, bundling up a wad of gauze and shoving it into place as if she was slipping it into her purse. She saw Al's gauntlet curl into a shaking fist as she worked and mistook the emotion behind it.

"I know it looks awful, but I promise it's not that bad," she explained, hoping that walking him through the procedure might grant him some peace of mind. "The abscess - the worst of the infection - is gone. The gauze is just to make sure he doesn't lose too much fluid in the empty space and to make sure the wound heals slowly enough to heal properly. Without the packing, the dislodged skin might not reattach and then he'd have a pouch of fluid next to his spine."

"There are more reasons than I can name for why that would be bad," Tomas supplied, no longer leaning over Edward so protectively but still monitoring him closely enough to have a pair of fingers pressed into the boy's neck to test his pulse.

Alphonse nodded his helmet squeakily in understanding. "I know that. It's like teaching the skin how to reattach by flattening it a little bit at a time by putting in less and less gauze every time you take it out. When Brother… the doctor who took care of him did the same thing when his shoulder and his leg were healing after… She said it was to help the skin adjust to the stretching and pulling from swelling and… and because there wasn't any skin left over."

Edward glared at his brother as if Alphonse had just told everyone how many times he had wet the bed in the last year.

The nurse nodded approvingly as she packed the last wad of gauze beneath the loose skin, dunking her hands in the bowl of soapy water and scrubbing vigorously.

Roy felt silly. In hindsight, it only made sense that Al had seen his brother like this before and so wouldn't be put off by the sight of a cotton-stuffed gash splitting his back. Roy had seen similar wounds - had had similar wounds - in the past.

So why, when it was Fullmetal, it was like he'd never seen something more gruesome?

Because this wasn't supposed to happen.

I wasn't supposed to let it happen.

XXX

It had hurt the same way it did when Winry messed with his automail, but not as bad as when she actually took it off, like when she tightened the bolts after reattachment but without the leftover zings shooting through the wires.

It wasn't awful, but it wasn't nice, either.

It was a little less awful with someone with him. Back home, that person was usually Granny since Winry was typically the one working on the prosthetics, but Granny was jaded to noises and faces he might make. He knew she didn't mean to apathetic, but sometimes it was just too obvious that her sympathy was forced.

He could have gone without the hovering from Tomas, though he knew the nurse wasn't meaning to be coddling. Just like with Granny, knowing that didn't necessarily make it better.

Maybe it was the coddling that made him want to prove that he wasn't the fragile toddler they thought he was or maybe it was a genuine instinctual need to assess the damage, but when Edward begrudgingly announced that he had to use the restroom and Tomas and the colonel both jumped – in Mustang's case, literally – to help him, Ed shot Al a conspiratorial look and his brother immediately saw every thought in his head.

It was true that Edward was more comfortable with Alphonse helping him with this, including that his brother would not try to shield him from the mirror or try to rush him or redirect in him to minimize the chance of him seeing something they thought he would find upsetting.

It was upsetting, Edward thought, as Alphonse helped him stand shakily with his back to the mirror above the sink, being Ed's balance while Ed focused on twisting his head around to look over his shoulder. The angle was awkward and lopsided, but it was good enough for him to see the white line that cropped up where his automail ended and dragged diagonally across the bumps of his backbone where it ended at the ribs on his other side. The bandages were barely visible, seeing as how they were beneath the skin, but it was still strange to thing about how there was an expanse of cotton between his flesh and muscle, that he would have been able to see a sliver of muscle if it wasn't covered by that line of white.

The skin around the line was swollen and red, but there was no oozing, and if it wasn't for that thin line of white giving away the reason why, Ed could have brushed it off as one of those weird marks one wakes up with after sleeping on bunched up sheets.

"Does it hurt, Brother?"

"Not anymore," Edward answered honestly, then mentally kicked himself as he realized what he had just implied.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Edward turned his head back forward and pushed himself off Al's armor, hobbling towards the one of the open stalls. Al was quick to put a steadying gauntlet on his shoulder but didn't try to direct Ed in any way.

"Because sometimes people's backs hurt. It's kinda just… a person thing. It wasn't a big deal."

"You know that's not what I meant."

Edward knew that. He also knew there probably wasn't a way to explain it to Alphonse. His little brother always believed the best in people and the world, and while Ed thought it was childish naivety, it was also a belief that he would gladly, if not happily, keep secrets from Al to preserve.

"I didn't know it was that bad. It's – it was just a scratch. I washed it, so I thought it was fine." Edward grinned wryly as he brushed Al's gauntlet off his shoulder as he stepped into the stall. "I guess I didn't wash it as good as I thought I did."

Alphonse did not indulge him. He replaced his gauntlet on his brother's shoulder and kept it there, staring facelessly when Edward tried to swipe the empty leather away again and frowned when the empty fingers folded under his own but didn't fall away.

"Al –"

"You can't stand, Brother."

"Then I'll sit."

"You won't be able to stand back up."

"How do you know?"

"'Cause I'm not gonna let you fall down just to prove myself right."

Edward scoffed and tried to shake Alphonse's fingers away, then winced as the movement jostled the open wound on his back and stopped.

"I'm not a baby, Al. I don't need to be babysat to piss."

"And neither am I."

Edward scowled as he realized that Al wasn't holding on to him out of a mother hen's concern but to prove a point.

Ed was trapped between the worst kind of annoyance and an ironic sort of pride.

Edward sighed and stared at his brother's fingers.

"Because it wasn't your problem. I got myself here. I'll get myself out."

The fingers tightened on his shoulder before obligingly slipping away. Ed was quick to hobble forward a step into the stall so he could close the door before Al changed his mind.

"They made it my problem when they picked you."

Edward let himself smile now that his brother couldn't see him.

"You sound like Aunt Sara when Tom McKenzie punched me in the face after he dumped your lunch pail."

"And punched you in the eye."

"I didn't start that!"

"I didn't say you did."

"Everyone thought so." Then, after a pregnant pause, "Mom thought so."

"Not after she found out what happened. But you can't blame her. You did pick fights a lot." Then, quickly, like an afterthought. "But not always."

Edward really wished everyone would stop trying to convince him that this wasn't his fault.

XXX

Tomas hovered in the hall outside the room, ready to jump into action in case Alphonse poked his helmet out or came stampeding back with his brother limp in his arms. Tomas had reached for the bedpan as soon as Ed had voiced his need to relieve himself, but the boy had adamantly refused and Tomas didn't want to risk causing what he was trying to prevent by instigating an argument.

He had seen how quickly Ed's blood could rise, and if his blood went up, he would go down as hard as if he had dropped dead.

Which, if that happened, was a very real possible.

When Edward came limping back with his brother holding him up from behind like a puppeteer piloting a doll, Tomas gave the boy his sternest frown, making his disapproval clear.

Edward frowned right back.

Tomas's glare was replaced by surprise, then reluctant calm as he realized that the fact that Ed had regained enough moxie to be defiant, he had to be feeling better.

Edward's frown deepened when Tomas reached out to take his patient from Alphonse. When Ed pulled back almost as deliberately as Al pulled him back, Tomas huffed apologetically.

"Your… guardians need to speak to you privately."

Ed pressed himself against Al's breastplate, shivered, then took a step forward as he accidentally pressed on the gash.

"We're our guardians," Edward snapped, and for once, Alphonse didn't reprimand him for being rude.

"Anything my brother needs to tell the colonel is something he tells me," Al said. He waited for Ed to tell him off and was pleasantly surprised by his brother's acquiescing silence.

Tomas's face twisted in indecision as he glanced uncertainly between the boy and the suit of armor. He was saved from further mental anguish by the first lieutenant stepping through the open threshold from where she had been eavesdropping behind the half-open door. She made sure her expression was soft and open as she gently moved Tomas aside with a gentle touch to his shoulder. Tomas gave her a grateful look and quickly let her take his place.

"Edward, the colonel would like you to tell him what he told me."

Several thoughts flashed across Edward's face. The only ones Riza made out clearly were apprehension and gratitude.

"You… you didn't tell him?"

Riza felt a twinge of offense at the idea that Ed would think she would go back on her word, then reminded herself that he and his brother had not had the best experience with trusting adults to keep their promises.

"You told me what you did under the conditions that I told no one else. Whether I tell the colonel or you do is up to you. With your permission, I will tell him what you told me, if that would make you more comfortable."

Edward's seemed to consider that option, temptation warring with independence as he chewed on the inside of his mouth. He glanced at his brother, who was still holding onto him, then stared at the floor as he huffed a breath.

When he looked back at Riza, his expression was firm with decisiveness.

XXX

Roy hid his spark of surprise upon seeing Alphonse enter the room alongside his brother. He had expected Edward to come alone, insisting that his brother stay in the hall. Maybe Hawkeye would be with him - and she was, casting Roy a glance he didn't quite understand - or possibly Hawkeye would have come on his behalf, but here all three of them were, Tomas silently helping Edward into the bed and settling him on his side. Ed grunted and winced as each movement pulled at the slashes on his back. Once his patient was comfortable, or as comfortable as he could be, Tomas stationed himself by the window, pretending he wasn't capable of hearing the impending conversation or that it simply held no interest for him.

Edward laid his head on the pillow with a tired sigh, closing his eyes and keeping them closed for so long that Roy thought the boy had fallen asleep. When Ed opened his eyes, his gaze was hard, like he'd put up a wall between his voice and his mind.

"I showed up and there were coins all over the place. They were all just sittin' there, doin' nothin'."

XXX

Roy would not be angry.

Not here. Not now.

Later, where Edward couldn't see or hear or have the slightest opportunity to claim anything as his fault.

Even so, Mustang was unable to keep the furious tremor out of his voice as he asked his final and only and horrendously necessary question.

"How many times?"

Edward curled slightly at the sound, confused nervousness flowing over him before being blanketed by that wall.

"How… how many what?"

"How many times did they… were you struck?"

Riza heard what he had to swallow down and gave him a second look that he couldn't quite decipher.

Edward took his time answering, closing his eyes as he forced himself to count the number of hissing slaps he'd heard after "He's past fifty!"

"Fifty-three."

Tomas twitched but didn't react beyond that. Riza closed her eyes and dropped her shoulders as if she had been struck with a paroxysm of pain. Alphonse's armor creaked as his metal joints stiffened so strongly that his fisted gauntlets shook.

Roy swallowed again and nodded, opting to stare at the wall rather than his major.

"And then?"

Edward started to shrug, remembered not to, and made a noncommittal grunt instead.

"Then nothin'. I got up and left."

"Wait, they just… left you there?" Al's voice was shrill and came out of his helmet like a whistle.

"Alphonse," Riza warned, gently but sternly. Al obediently said nothing but his shaking had spread to his arms so that the sound of rattling steel filled the room like infuriated violins.

Edward didn't answer his brother's question. He didn't have to.

Roy was breathing deeply and evenly to keep himself stoic, but his ears had turned a feverish red.

"And then you went to the station and came back?"

Edward opened his mouth to say yes, then thought of Maxine's heartbroken expression.

"No. I went back to… where I was stayin'."

Roy's wrinkles deepened but he kept himself staring ahead. Alphonse made his metallic whistling sound that he made in place of gasping and Riza shoulders snapped straight like a student at a finishing school.

"Did they… what did they do?" Roy's voice was slightly higher despite his best efforts to remain emotionless.

Edward felt shame, not for his decision but for the lingering image of Maxine's face when he'd told her to leave him alone.

"Nothin'. 'Cause I told them not to," Ed added quickly when he saw the red on Roy's ears start to spread to his cheeks. "I didn't want them to… to get in trouble."

He expected to be admonished, to be told that he shouldn't have prioritized the safety of someone older than his own. He didn't know what to think when the redness creeping from the man's ears receded into nothing and Roy closed his eyes, nodding calmly.

"That was very noble of you. In light of what you've told me, I believe you did the right thing… even if it wasn't the smart thing," he said opening his eyes and looking at Ed with pride shining in his gaze.

Edward suddenly wanted the colonel to hold him the way he'd held him when… well, Edward didn't want to think about the circumstances, only the solid warmth and promise of safety and peace that Mustang's arm promised.

As if reading his mind, Roy placed an encouraging hand on Edward's shoulder, keeping his fingers careful of swelling and applying a gentle pressure with his palm in place of squeezing.

"You did good, Fullmetal. Consider yourself relieved of duty for now. Focus on resting for now."

Edward glanced at Alphonse. His brother didn't move, but Ed knew Al's body - well, armor language well enough to recognize when he was satisfied.

Not pleased or content, but satisfied with what his brother had managed to do.

That meant more than the pride radiating from Mustang, though Ed conceded to himself that it was nice to have both.

XXX

"I'm not sure this is a good idea, Miss - I mean, sir -"

Riza's glare had Tomas snapping his jaw shut with a clop.

"Are you implying that Hayate is dirty?"

Tomas eyed the dog worriedly as Hayate sniffed curiously at the bed. Edward was blinking sleepily, resisting the urge to close his eyes in case he woke up snuggling Mustang, even if it was only his arm, but lacking the energy to do much of anything besides doze.

Alphonse had offered to let Edward hold his gauntlet - it certainly wouldn't be the first time he had used his little brother as a teddy bear - but Ed had grumbled that he wasn't a kid and didn't need cuddle or be cuddled.

Riza, who had needed to check on Hayate anyway, had gotten an idea and excused herself to carry it out.

"No, I… well, dogs aren't known to be the cleanest animals…" Tomas's voice trailed off as Riza's glare deepened.

"Pets have been known to facilitate healing in hospital patients. Especially cats," Alphonse commented hopefully.

"No," Roy and Edward said right away and Alphonse deflated slightly, then almost immediately forgot his disappointment as Hayate hopped onto the bed and squeezed into the space beside between Roy and Ed on the bed and settled himself with a huff.

Ed sighed appreciatively and turned into the dog's fur, wrapping his one arm around Hayate and closing his eyes. Hayate thumped his tail happily as Edward started to snore.

Tomas frowned, conflicted. Now he couldn't have the dog taken away, not without disturbing his patient.

"Oh, I see. Giving your brother a little attention is babyish, but when they have fur, well, that's completely different," Alphonse pretended to be offended.

"Of course," the lieutenant said, meeting Al's fake anger with a genuine explanation. "Hayate is a good boy. You can't simply ignore him when he's in the room."

Hayate's tail thumped again at his mistress's praise and Roy huffed with amusement as he scratched the dog behind the ears.

"I suppose we have that in common."

"You do not, sir."

Alphonse laughed as Roy turned to Riza with a wounded look.

"I beg your pardon?"

Riza met his gaze steadily.

"Hayate protects me and my property. He does as he's told when he's told. You, on the other hand, have to reminded to do your paperwork at least three times a day and fall asleep at your desk at least once every day. Therefore, you are not, unlike Hayate, a good boy."

Roy had not been ready for such an intense level of criticism.

Then he realized what, exactly, the implications of the criticism meant and his face dissolved into a smarmy smolder.

It almost immediately turned into true fear when Riza's face crumpled into something that could only be described as murderous.

"Don't. You. Dare."

Roy didn't.

Tomas snorted, failing at pretending he wasn't in the room and Alphonse decided as he brushed his brother's hair away from his snoring mouth and then brushed his leather fingers over Hayate's head that he'd rather not know.

Did you know that Walmart doesn't let you use their Rollback program if you don't have a credit score?

What the heck is the point of it, then?

That's like having a swim suit that you can wear to the beach but not into the beach.

Yes, they make those. No, I don't know why.