The first chapter is just a short intro but I'm posting it anyway to motivate myself to continue writing.
Time slows down when it can get no worse
I can feel it running out on me
I don't want these to be my last words
All forgotten 'cause that's all they'll be
— Die For You by Grabbitz
Star Trek didn't prepare me for this.
He should be thinking about Pepper's picture on his HUD with the red 'call failed' warning blinking in the corner of his vision, or mentally re-calculating the trajectory he's been mapping since he was able to see inside the portal with his explosive cargo, maybe even about not wanting to die. Still, all his brain is able to come up with as he watches the nuke collide against the Chitauri mothership is that, against all logic, he expected the explosion to make some noise.
There's no shockwave – no air expansion can happen in a vacuum – which means he can only watch as, in a matter of seconds, the radiation blast causes the enemy ship to collapse and explode like a supernova, bright enough to feel like he's staring into the sun.
Should have called myself Icarus.
The thought is filled with as much acceptance as resignation. Space is too cold and too big, and he closes his eyes in an attempt to stave off the feeling of helplessness trying to creep up on him. He won't count the seconds, doesn't want to know how many he has left, and refuses to dwell on any of the statistics about space attempting to resurface in his brain. It's no use knowing how long one can last in oxygen deprivation when he's not even sure if that's what will kill him, it could just as well be the radiation.
They say your life flashes before your eyes when you're dying, but all he sees is the inside of his eyelids, lit up orange from the glow of the explosion, as his lungs struggle against the lack of oxygen. That's alright though, he's already lived it once, and seeing it again before his death would feel more like torture than a reward. His thoughts turn instead to Pepper's red hair and the cute frown she sports when he's being particularly annoying, Rhodey's bear hugs and racing Happy in his own cars, everyone he's leaving behind… J, Dum-e, Butterfingers… he hopes they'll be well taken care of.
Worth it, he tells himself as the orange glow starts to be consumed by black dots, his vision fading.
He's not awake to feel the fall.
The next chapter will be longer, promise.