"Has anyone ever told you that you're a bit of a prick?" Tonks grumbled, much to McGowan's amusement.
Yes, she was here again. Why when she had an actual job to do? Tonks wasn't entirely sure but she wasn't going to question it. The woman seemed to do as she pleased. Even Moody seemed resigned to her reappearance after some initial grumbles. Not that McGowan had ever paid any attention to those. In fact, she seemed to revel in causing them. Something Tonks normally welcomed, it broke up the day, but not when she was already annoyed at Moody.
Speaking of Moody, the man looked far too proud of what she just said. Which was unfair because she was annoyed with him.
"Quite a few times, yes." He chuckled and then pointed at McGowan, "Mainly by her."
"Because you are," the older woman said cheerfully. "It does you good to have that pointed out to you every now and then. Well done, Tonks. Maybe together we can keep him in line."
"You called me 'prick' instead of my name for two weeks."
"I only stopped because the Minister had an official visit to the Department and I was banned from even talking during it," McGowan said.
Moody snorted. "Still can't believe you stopped. Since when have you ever listened to authority?"
"Since they threatened to throw me in Azkaban for the duration," she said lightly with a shrug, like it was no big deal.
Which it was, by the way, especially when Tonks realised that McGowan wasn't joking. She and Moody stared at her, mouths ajar.
"Azkaban?" Tonks exclaimed at the same time Moody growled, "They said what?"
"They wouldn't have actually done it," McGowan said dismissively. "Pretty sure it's illegal."
"But you did as you were told anyway." Tonks pointed out.
"Well, yeah, but that's because if they were making stupid threats like that, that the whole situation was pretty serious," then she smirked. "Anyway, it meant I had good blackmail material."
Moody snorted at that. "Sounds like you."
"I told them that too."
"Of course, you did. Have you never heard of the phrase, 'Never show your hand'?"
"But that doesn't make them tremble in their boots and I like making men tremble."
"You do a good job of it too," Moody said appreciatively.
"I do, don't I?" McGowan said proudly.
"Even Crouch didn't dare cross her way back when he was Head of the DMLE," Moody told her with a bit of pride.
McGowan snorted. "Crouch was an arse but he wasn't stupid, like some men I could talk about."
"She's talking about Scrimgeour," Moody added some clarification.
Tonks gaped. "Head of the Auror Office Scrimgeour?"
Their immediate boss? What? Who just called someone that who was that important? Wait, she had forgotten who she was talking to. These two didn't exactly hold people in awe. More like contempt.
"Yeah, he's an arse," McGowan said conversationally.
Moody shook his head. "You shouldn't be telling a Trainee that."
"And why not? He is an arse."
"He's Head of the Aurors. Our superior."
"You don't sound too impressed by him either," Tonks p9inted out.
In fact, he sounded downright disdainful.
"I'm not. Doesn't mean you should be disrespectful."
Tonks rolled her eyes and he clicked his fingers at her.
"And that is what you definitely shouldn't be doing around your superiors."
She almost rolled her eyes again but decided that that was overkill.
"Yes, because you're the perfect example of respecting people," McGowan said sarcastically.
"I respect people who aren't idiots and the chain of command," Moody said with a sniff. "That's good enough."
"Uh huh. And just how many people do you think aren't idiots?"
"He can probably only count them on one hand," Tonks said cheekily.
She couldn't help it, it just kind of came out. And she didn't even regret this one because she was kind of proud of it. McGowan seemed to agree with her because she held her hand up for a high five. Which Tonks gave her and got a cuff round the back of her head from Moody for her trouble.
"Hey!" She yelped, rubbing the back of her head. "Assault."
"It's called keeping you in line."
"So, you want to scramble my brain cells instead?"
"It's not like you use them much."
"Hey! Unfair! I'm smart!"
"You can't call the Trainees dumb, it hurts their confidence," McGowan failed to say with a straight face.
"Good. Some of them are too cocky."
"But I'm not, right?" Tonks asked with wide eyes.
Moody just harrumphed at her.
"You call Scrimgeour incompetent and all sorts of things so you're one to talk," he said to a very amused McGowan.
"I didn't say that he was incompetent, just that he was an arse."
"He's good at the job," Moody agreed and then scrunched up his nose. "Bit to by the book for my liking though."
"You mean that he didn't like your idea of making paperwork disappear."
"It was a good idea!"
"You were trying to make weekly reports disappear."
"Exactly, it wasn't like it was important paperwork!"
"You aren't exactly subtle," McGowan said, rolling her eyes.
"I can be subtle," Moody said in an offended tone.
See, this was the reason she loved McGowan. She brought out a side to Moody that she never otherwise saw. Kind of like a sibling relationship or something? Anyway, it was funny. Sometimes Tonks wished she could start one of them off and then just watch and see what happened while munching on a bag of prawn cocktail crisps. Well, technically that's what she was doing now, minis the crisps, but still. She could spend a whole day doing just that and she wouldn't be complaining.
"No, subtle is putting dissolvable stink pellets on his chair so he's always surrounded by a mysterious eggy odour that can't be traced back to me."
"That was you? He went to the MediWitch for that because he thought there was something wrong with his bowels!"
McGowan scoffed and buffed her nails on her cloak. "Of course, it was me."
"Why?"
"Because."
"That's not an answer."
"You sound like my mother," Tonks said.
She'd heard that phrase more often enough. Mainly because she hadn't wanted to give her mother an explanation of her hijinks as she knew that any explanation, she did have probably wouldn't be acceptable.
"Her mother is an incredibly accomplished witch, I'd take that as a compliment," McGowan said to him.
He smirked at them. "I think I will."
Tonks tolled her eyes at the pair of them. Honestly, what had she down to deserve these two?
"What else have you done to people?" Tonks asked her.
McGowan arched an eyebrow. "What makes you think I've done other things."
"Because you're you?" Which got her a snort from Moody.
"I think I want to be you when I grow up," Tonks said very seriously.
Moody groaned at the thought which just confirmed it for her. McGowan looked incredibly pleased.
"I am pretty awesome."
"And so humble," Moody said sarcastically.
"Why would I need to be humble when I know how amazing I am?"
"Don't say anything," Moody warned Tonks as she was about to confirm that for the older woman.
But McGowan knew anyway and smiled smugly.
"I am amazing."