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Beth played with the glass awkwardly in her hands, staring at the clear liquid.
She could sense herself hesitating, an uncomfortable feeling growing in her belly. It felt like guilt and she was struggling to squash it.
Now she had gotten what she wanted, was this even going to work? She thought nervously.
She had never tried to persuade someone into getting drunk before, and if there was one thing she was certain of in this crazy hectic world, it was that you could never make Daryl Dixon do something he didn't want to do...
Still, she was just so sick of the whole, moody, silent, I don't care about anything attitude he refused to part with, and she was running out of options. Beth had seen her Daddy drunk on too many occasions when she was younger, and she knew what hard truths and raw feelings came out when he did.
She glanced up at Daryl, taking a whiff here and there from the random jars he had just found. Her heart fluttered nervously again, shifting where she sat. Beth just wanted him to say something that made her feel like he cared. That he wasn't just sticking around because he felt obligated to keep her alive. Whatever he had gone through, or however many people he had loved and lost, Beth knew Daryl had loved them all in his own way, deep down inside. He just refused to show it. That's what she was going with anyway. He hadn't left her with any other explanation as to how he felt, and she refused to keep pretending like it didn't bother her.
Maybe if he loosened up a bit he could show it? That small voice of hope inside her head went again. At the very least, if they were going to be more open with each other about their grief, it might help them grow their friendship into something deeper. Something more than just this surface level comrade, survival thing they had going on. Plus, she needed him to trust her, let her in to what he was thinking every once in a while. Because she wanted so badly to trust him too, like they were equals.
"That's your real first drink right there."
Beth looked up from her thoughts, her mouth opened slightly as if to say something, but nothing came out.
"What's the matter?" Daryl asked, surprised at her solemn response.
"Nothin, it's just..." Beth cleared her throat, it felt thick with nerves. "My dad always told me that bad moonshine could make you go blind."
Daryl shrugged at her, "Ain't nothing worth seeing out there anymore anyway."
Beth didn't know what to say to that, so she just downed the entire contents of her glass in one big gulp. Instantly regretting it three seconds later.
"Oh my god, that's the most disgusting thing I've ever tasted." She coughed into her palm.
Daryl even laughed at her reaction, and that man never laughed. Ever.
"Well slow down, you need t' eat first," he advised. "We haven't had anythin proper in days. It'll go straight to your head." He warned, grabbing his bow and heading out.
He wasn't kidding, Beth could feel the instant warmth flutter around her chest, and the sudden dizzy feeling in her head.
"Second round might be better." She suggested.
Before she could pour, a hand quickly came to rest on top of her glass.
"M' serious. Someone's gotta keep watch." Daryl warned. Her bright blue eyes trailed up his lightly tanned forearm as he spoke, something between them just now making her gut do a weird flip. He stood so close she could almost taste the sweat and grime covering him from their travels the past few weeks. He was wearing black jeans and his signature leather vest, and he smelt like a mixture of wet grass, dirt, and cigarette smoke. She was surprised how much she liked it. It was masculine and earthy and very, well... Daryl.
"So what, you're like my chaperone now?" Beth challenged, looking up at him. Ignoring another weird flip her tummy made as she saw him staring down at her.
"Wait until I'm back, and drink lots of water." Daryl took moment to just stare at her before he turned, giving her the briefest of nods.
"Yes, Mr Dixon."
She knocked back the last sip and looked over her shoulder as he walked out of the house. Waiting for him to completely disappear from sight before she got up. She wanted so badly to stay here. To make it safe and just...rest for a while.
Beth turned back to the table and ignored Daryl's instructions, pouring herself another glass as a plan formed in her mind. The drink was bitter and a little sweet against her tongue, but for the first time in a long time, she finally felt relaxed.
"One more won't hurt." She said, taking another gulp.
Beth swallowed her last sip and looked around, contemplating.
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Before Daryl walked through the door an hour later, she had made a pretty good dent in the kitchen area. Getting bored with being on watch and left to her own devices, she thought cleaning would distract her while she waited for him to get back. To her drunken surprise, she found a small roll of black garbage bags in one of the kitchen draws, and was able to clear most of the rubbish from the kitchen benches and floor, leaving it in piles behind the house to use later.
Empty bottles, beer cans and anything that could clang together and make nose could be tied up around the house to help detect intruders, if she could convince Daryl to stay that is.
Then, it was the table area which she swept and cleaned. The water was only just working when she turned on the tap in the kitchen, which she would have to try and fix later. But enough came out to give her enough moisture for a rag that made the glass table almost usable for eating. She put the jars of Moonshine on the coffee table in the living room at the same time she heard front door open from behind her.
"Rabbit." Daryl stated proudly when he returned, and Beth spun around to see him holding up two small, bloodied fur animals in his hand.
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After they had boarded up the windows and started up the oven which shockingly still had gas in it, they cooked the rabbit and ate as much as their tiny, shrunken tummy's would allow.
Sighing in content, they found a place in front of the sofa chair to sit, looking expectantly at their surroundings.
The rabbit finally shut up Beth's tummy so she could continue on with what she wanted to do, but she found regardless of finally having food in her belly, she was still getting tipsy.
Daryl on the other hand, still refused to join her, which made slightly drunken Beth confused and a little mad.
Does he not want to relax after all they'd been through? She thought, annoyed. He was ruining the plan!
After hearing a Walker tread idly by the front door, Beth picked up a jar and handed it to Daryl.
"Well, if we're gonna be trapped here a little longer we may as do something to pass the time." She suggested.
Daryl looked down at the jar and hesitated for a moment, his eyes wandering back and forth between her face and the Walker outside.
"Unless...you're too busy chaperoning, Mr Dixon." Beth smiled.
Daryl eventually rolled his eyes and grabbed the glass roughly from her grip. "Hell, might as well make the best of it." He took a swig, barely reacting to the taste. "Home sweet home." He mused flatly.
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An hour later, they both lay on their backs on the living room floor, staring at the ceiling.
"So first," Beth started, "I say something I've never done. If you've done it, you drink. If you haven't, I drink. Then we switch."
She turned her head to the side wondering if he had heard her, the carpet scratching at her cheek. She smiled lazily and found him staring back at her. He was silent, as usual.
"You really don't know this game?" She asked, surprised.
"I never needed a game to get lit before." He replied, his voice rough.
Beth frowned, "It'll be fun, don't worry." She rolled over onto her belly, looking down at his face.
"How do you know this game?" Daryl asked, turning over and leaning his head onto his folded arm. His dark brown eyes seamed to be almost black now, like they were staring right through her.
"My friends played." Beth explained, as if it were obvious. "I watched."
Daryl's eyebrows raised for a second, then he rolled over onto his back again. His hands resting on his belly.
Beth coughed awkwardly. "Ok, I'll start. I've never... shot a crossbow. So you drink."
Without looking at her, Daryl rolled onto his side again and grabbed his glass, taking a swig. He stayed in that position until he said, "Ain't much of a game."
Beth felt her cheeks blush. "That was a warm up," she defended. "Now you go."
Daryl stared at the contents of his glass, thinking hard as he swirled it around. Beth realised suddenly that she loved watching him think.
"I dn' know." He said, unsure. He still hadn't looked at her and Beth bit her lip in worry. What was bugging him and why wouldn't he tell her?
"Just, say whatever comes to your mind." She offered.
He looked up at her then, suddenly remembering. "I never been outta Georgia."
Beth smiled. "Really? Ok good one." She took a sip. It wasn't bitter or sweet anymore, it just burned, but she liked it.
She felt him watching her as she thought about her next question, but now he got the game, she continued on. "I've never...been drunk and did something I regretted."
Beth was surprised at how blunt that was. Not really knowing where it came from. All of sudden she wondered if she was drunk or not. Was she? She frowned at her thoughts, the room spun a little and her lips felt a bit weird. She glared at the glass in her hand, trying to find an answer.
Hmmm.
Daryl rubbed his face, glanced at her only once and took a sip. "I done a lot o' things."
Beth looked at him then, ...really looked at him. What did that mean? "Your turn." She said quietly.
"I never been on vacation."
"What about campin?"
"No." He took another sip. "Each summer I had to learn. To hunt."
"Was it your Dad? Who taught you?" She leant towards him, curious.
"Mhm." He rubbed his chin again, lost in thought. She noticed he always did that when he was talking about the past.
"Ok." Beth smiled and took another drink, the longest one she had this entire time. "I've never... been in Jail."
A sudden chill went down Beth's spine as she saw the expression change on Daryl's face. He visibly stiffened beside her, and his eyes narrowed. Her head was still spinning from the moonshine, but she could see Daryl all of a sudden look uncomfortable, more than usual. His thoughts whirring at full steam ahead behind his eyes.
"I mean, as a prisoner..." She mumbled.
Silence.
He said nothing once again, and Beth bit her lip in worry, coming to sit up on her knees. Did she say something wrong? They were getting so close to where they needed to be, but her gut instinct told her she may have gone too far.
Daryl continued to stare at her, unmoving. "Is that what you think of me...?" He asked. His voice was so hard now, so quiet and different from before.
Beth felt so exposed in this moment, she could almost hear herself swallow her throat had gone so dry. Maybe this was a mistake, she told herself, hearing alarm bells ringing in her ears.
She wanted to back out now, but it was too late. She leant towards him, her hand outstretched wanting to apologise and explain.
"I didn't mean anything serious I just thought-wait!"
Daryl had pushed himself up to standing before she could finish, shaking his head at her. "Drink up." He snapped bitterly, downing the entire content of his glass.
Staring up at him, Beth hated the pleading sound to her voice as she spoke, attempting to fix it. "Even my dad got locked up for that, back in the day." She offered weakly.
Daryl looked like he was about to throw up. "Need to take a piss." He scoffed.
Beth averted her eyes as he wondered aimlessly to the other side of the room, undoing his pants. Her heart was suddenly hammering in her chest, stinging her ribcage. What had she done?
She closed her eyes, ashamed at her actions. If he got this angry at her that quickly, she knew it was all over now. She had screwed up big time.
All of a sudden, he threw his glass towards the ground and it shattered into a million pieces, startling her.
"Daryl! We have to be quiet!" Beth whispered frantically. She scrambled to her feet, her face full of worry as she looked around for Walkers.
"Can't hear you, I'm taking a piss!"
She put her glass down on the coffee table and stepped towards him. "Stop talking so loud!"
He glared at her over his shoulder. "What? You my chaperone now?"
Beth didn't know what to do, licking her dry lips as she tried to keep her composure. Who knew how many Walkers just heard that...
"Oh wait, it's my turn alright?" Daryl sung out. His limbs were floppy as he did up his belt, stumbling back over to her.
A sinking scratching feeling dropped into Beth's stomach at the sight.
"I never..." Daryl paced back and forth in the living room. "Eaten frozen yogurt!" He laughed, "I never had a pet pony!" He spat at her, "I never got nothin from Santa clause!"
He hit one of the yellow chairs in such a rage, it had Beth frozen where she stood.
"Daryl, please." She begged, glancing out the windows.
"I never relied on anyone for protection before. Hell, I never relied on anyone for anything!"
Beth took a step back as he headed towards her, his body shaking. "Daryl!" she warned.
"I never sung out in public like everything was fun, like everything was a big game!"
Beth just stared, she felt like she was about to cry. She felt so guilty now. He looked broken and so...not like the Daryl she knew.
"I sure as hell never cut my wrist for attention!" He came so close to her now, right up to her face so she could feel his breath hit her cheek. His mouth inches from hers.
Beth opened her mouth to say something, but suddenly, the gurgling sound of a Walker passing by got Daryl's attention. She glanced between it and Daryl's face, feeling every part of her body just wanting to shrivel up and disappear.
Not now, not now!
"Well look who it is, our friend from before!" He stated gleefully. Daryl grabbed at her forearm before she could even blink, and dragged her over to the kitchen bench, grabbing his bow.
"Daryl stop!"
"You never used a cross bow before? Well, come on now, I'll teach you. This is gonna be fun!"
"Daryl, shut up!" She snapped. Beth tried to pull away, but he was too strong. He dragged them both through the front door as she looked around frantically for other Walkers.
Please just be one. Please just be one...
"Here we go!" He shouted, as they stumbled down the steps.
"Daryl no! We have to stay inside!"
He simply laughed and brought his hand around her neck, crushing her back to his chest as he pulled them towards the rear of the house.
The lone Walker appeared as they came around the corner. It was pacing around aimlessly, blood dripping from its mouth.
Beth shut her eyes as they fumbled forward together, sobbing as she grabbed at Daryl's arm. It was like an iron latch around her throat.
"Stop it Daryl!"
She closed her eyes and prayed to God, to her dad, to her mother, everyone she had ever met, that this wouldn't be her last few moments on this earth.
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