"Somebody," said Jacques, "your father or mine, should have told us that not many people have ever died of love. But multitudes have perished, and are perishing every hour - and in the oddest places! - for the lack of it."
October, 1976
Hogwarts was magical. Hogwarts in October however, was a dream. The leaves were starting to get crunchier, the air quieter, and the library sweeter with every study session wrapped in tea and cinnamon scented candles.
One could argue that in such a fantasy land, a person could be anything but blissful. Except-
"Please don't call my name, please don't call my name, please don't call my name"
"For mercy's sake Evans, this is not the chorus, what are you chanting about?"
"Shush" Lily stopped biting her nail long enough to cuss James out without looking at him.
"It's just a simple transfiguration exercise," he whispered in her direction, "you can do it with your eyes closed. Why are you so nervous?"
"I'm not nervous- who said I was nervous?" she whispered back significantly higher.
James looked at her, squinting his eyes in an obvious manner. She wide-eyed him, still with the tip of her thumb between her teeth.
"Alright, I'm nervous."
"No shit."
"Leave me alone Potter, I'm not you" she quickly quipped. "I don't have the luck of the Irish safekeeping my every step even if I'm flying 50 meters from the ground in a thunderstorm."
"I'm actually 1/5 Portuguese, but yeah I see what you mean, I'm pretty darn good." They paused the bickering long enough for Millicent Davis to walk the corridor of desks that separated them. "Look- it's going to be OK. Just keep a steady hand and you'll be fine."
Lily pulled her hand from near her mouth and hovered it in front of her.
"OK see, you're half-way there, you have a hand… now steady it."
"This is me steadying it" Lily ushered in a panic.
"Witch, you need to calm down" Sirius joined from James' opposite side.
"Miss Evans," the group looked up to professor McGonagall, "Please step forward."
"Hum-" Lily paused dumbstruck.
"Now, miss Evans, if you please."
"Yes, of course" she awkwardly got up and walked to the front.
McGonagall cleared her throat behind her notes-taking cardboard. "Could you please conjure a bouquet of flowers from the tip of your wand?"
James noticed Lily swallow and breath through her mouth.
"A bouquet of flowers" she repeated.
"Yes. Seems quite fitting."
Lily nodded. "Yes hum- yes, professor taught us the spell in 4th-year. And the flowers conjured by this spell are usually pink in colour, as well as the surrounding light casting it."
McGonagall starred at Lily through her small half-moon glasses. "Yes indeed Miss Evans, perhaps the best way to show it is by effectively casting it."
Lily squealed a high pitched "Yes" and turned to the class. As she raised her wand, James quickly noticed how she grabbed it too harshly and knew before it happened that it wouldn't be successful. And so it went.
"Orchideous" Lily chanted doing the correct circular hand movement but only being able to cast a few pink coloured sparks.
There was an around the room giggle mostly from the 6th year Ravenclaws before it seized by McGonagall's clearing of her throat.
"Again, miss Evans. And do remember that Transfiguration is a key class to be considered for Head Girl next year."
Lily nodded disappointed and James could almost see her torturing herself inside her own mind. She pressed her lips and just a couple nano-seconds before she spoke, James whispered the exact enchanting in the same direction.
Lily's eyes grew wide(r) as a beautiful bouquet of pink orchids appeared at the desk in front of the classroom.
"Oh brilliant Miss Evans, well done" professor congratulated her, genuinely proud, writing down on her notes.
"I-I didn't do that professor… I think someone might have helped me" she looked around confused.
"Now now miss Evans, false modesty does not suit you. Please sit down."
"But-"
"Miss Meadowes yes, care to follow?"
Lily walked back to her seat starring at the wand in her own hand. Looking up she saw Potter and Black smiling and giving her thumbs up - and it stroke her.
"You-" she left her mouth open as James quickly started writing down with his arm barricading his face.
She squeezed her lips, breathing deep through her nose as she sat down.
"Are you bolting?" Sirius asked James by the end f the class who kept drumming his right leg, waiting for McGonagall to leave the room.
"I am. If I don't make it, tell my folks I love them."
"I won't, I want to be the new heir."
Before James could reply, professor McGonagall grabbed her purse and turned around to leave. James did not wait around to quip back at his friend, instead clumsy grabbing his things and running off the room, robe hanging off his shoulder and avoiding bulldozing another student.
"Potter, you-" Lily looked back at him, still gathering her own things.
When she reached the hall, James was pulling his own hair out, frustratingly walking behind an entire class of first years that still walked around as if a pack of flamingos unsure of all corners.
"Potter", Lily called out containing her tone.
"He-ey there Evans" James sang, turning around to her, hand slipping to the back of his neck. "Didn't see you there, were you in the class just now?"
Lily strode closer to him "Don't be cute Potter."
James grinned and opened his mouth to reply but Lily started smacking him with her books at the end of each word "And-don't-say-you-can't-stop-being-cute".
He quickly let go of his hair to protect himself. "Alright, alright! I did it OK, I admit it, I helped you out a bit"
Lily stopped, with open eyes and hushed back
"That's cheating", and she looked around to confirm no one was listening.
"Calm down Evans it's not cheating, it's positive encouragement…" she closed her mouth, eyeing him unimpressed. "…through cheating" he gave in playing it cool.
"Ugh- you!", she smacked him again for good measure.
"Want me to bring the frying pan?" Remus asked, passing by to go seat by a pillar without looking at either of them.
"Look Evans, just let me help you for Merlin's sake, you are the stubbornest person I know and I'm mates with Padfoot"
"Oi, you were the one who dared I couldn't drink five butter bears without barfing", Sirius said, leaning close to Remus.
"I really didn't, Padfoot."
His friend shrugged.
Lily sighed and crossed her arms "What's your point?"
"My point is that if you let me help you, I won't have to worry for my safe keeping every time you are asked to conjure a simple flower and force me to step in"
She grimaced "See? This is why I won't accept your offer, you are crude and obnoxious"
"Fine, I guess I'm crude and obnoxious to be under the impression we were trying something new here, but you're still too proud to let go of your ego and just accept these are the kind of things friends do for each other"
"I'm too proud? For not wanting to be chastised by you over the excuse of helping me?"
"Oh please Evans, I've seen you growl at a Slytherin three years older than you for stepping in front of a 1st year in line at Flourish and Blotts. You know you can handle me and that's why I do it. That's why we do this."
Lily was caught by surprise for him remembering that memory (she hadn't even realized he had been there that day), and also at his blandness.
She chewed the inside of her cheek while he looked at her.
"I still find you obnoxious" she spoke between her teeth and he tried not to grin.
"I accept that. Now can I perhaps maybe one day who knows, try to help you with your Transfiguration classwork?"
It was her time to try not to smile. "You may"
"Good"
"Good," she looked down at her shoes "and thanks by the way"
He couldn't stop the grin now "You're very welcome"
"But don't do it again!" she looked up at him to point out.
"I won't have to, you'll do great next time."
She shied away her smile, nodding. "See you in Potions, then"
She gave a quick smile to Remus and left as James saw her go. When he turned, he saw Sirius pretending to hung himself and Remus hiding his face.
"Shut up" James said. And he would deny it, but there was a slight blush on his ears.
"Do you ever think maybe we never gotten closer to each other to not give in the idea that all muggle-borns are the same? Like, from enforcing any stereotype?"
"Yes!"
Lily looked dumbstruck at Jamie at their potions class for reading her own mind. They had partnered since the start of the year and gotten closer than all five years prior.
Jamie chuckled. "Yeah, me too. Which is stupid, to act any different because of what people might think or say."
"So stupid," Lily agreed, "I'm much better now I think, but I remember in like first year reading about the sacred twenty-eight and making mental notes on what not to do." She shook her head. "It's hard, I sometimes still catch myself acting a certain way because of it."
She looked at Jamie who gave her a sympathetic smile.
"Do you think you judge people's mistakes very harshly?" the taller girl tried asking.
Lily was stirring a pipette attentively "My own? Terribly. Other people's? Hopefully getting better at it" She smiled at her desk partner who seemed pensive, pressing her lips.
"You?" Lily asked getting her attention.
"Mm? Oh, me too."
Lily looked curiously at her but she didn't continue sharing and so she didn't press. "Can you hand me the wings please?"
Jamie nodded and passed her the bowl of bat wings that Lily then poured down the cauldron.
"Oh-ho" Jamie said, standing very still suddenly
"What, what?" Lily asked, looking inside "Was I not supposed to put them all in? Oh Merlin, not again."
But Jamie made a guttering sound and Lily looked at her instead, standing with a hand covering her mouth and another in her stomach. Lily opened her eyes widely
"Jamie- you alright?"
The next second, the girl was throwing up by the side of their desk and Lily gasped loudly.
"Oh my, Jamie-" Lily rushed to her friend to grab her hair while she bent down and threw away her breakfast, her dinner and possibly a late night snack. Lily looked away while patting lightly and reassuringly the girl's back.
"Merlin Jenkins, could you be a bit less disgusting?" Alnus Carrow shouted, grimacing.
"Shut it Carrow!"
"Oh, just shut up will you"
Marlene and Dorcas echoed back at the same time.
"Now now, everyone sit down", professor Slughorn tried to control the class.
Mulciber, who stood closer, said lower so that he couldn't hear, "This is why you shouldn't be allowed to be near us. You're savages."
Lily turned red and let go of her friend for a moment to walk towards him, "Mulciber, you rat-"
James intercepted her before she could know where she was going with her insult. He held her arm and leaned with a low voice.
"Don't worry about him now. Take care of her."
Lily looked up and he signalled Jamie who was grabbing the desk and covering her mouth.
"Sirius and I will make sure Carrow shuts it, it's OK."
Neither of them noticed a pair of eyes who burned by their new born trust. She nodded quickly and went back to her friends' aid, cleaning off her traces with a vanishing charm and leading her out of the classroom. Behind, James passed by Mulciber with a mocking glare while dropping to his robes, a couple grams of stolen acidic substance that attracted animals in heat.
"It's OK Jamie, let's just take you to Madame Pomfrey and she'll-"
Jamie started shaking her head and stopping mid-way. Lily paused to look at her.
"No need. I just need to go to the bathroom and freshen up" the young witch was walking holding her head and quite pale.
"Jamie I really think we should take you to get checked"
"Lily please-" she held herself to the wall and looked like she was about to vomit again. She breathed deep before continuing. "I already know what it is, no need to go. I just ate some old chocolate I brought, it's fine"
Lily found the reason hard to believe, but her friend seemed pleading to drop the subject so she conveyed. She took her to the closest toilette where Jamie threw a bit more before returning to freshen up.
"You sure you don't want to stop by Madame Pomfrey?" Lily tried again, concern in her voice.
Jamie rose from washing her face in the lavatory. "Lily please, just drop it."
She seemed tired and Lily bit her lip but nodded. "What can I do for you, Jamie?"
The girl locked eyes with her through the bathroom mirror. "Put Mulciber and Carrow's potions to shame."
Lily smirked "That I can do."
"Hoarding for Winter there, Evans?"
Lily rose her head in a jump from the book she was reading to see Sirius Black pointing at her over flooded plate of food.
"What? Oh- I'm taking some lunch over to Jamie."
Remus sat down beside her in the great hall. "What you reading?"
"How is Jenkins, by the way?" James asked from the other side of the table.
"Oh I'm liking it a lot, check this piece here-" Lily mentioned to Remus, sliding the book to him before answering James.
"I don't know" she told him honestly, showing desperation. "I mean she's been sick for a few days now, she keeps going to classes and then leaving at some point. I keep telling her that if she just stayed under Pomfrey's eye for a few nights she might be alright by now but she doesn't want to."
"Maybe she's scared of Healers" Sirius proposed, while stuffing his own plate with rice, "I heard about this bloke who would only accept going if his mum brought him a present before and after any appointment."
"Mate I told you that in confidence" James said to his friend sitting by his side and Lily smirked.
The rest of the 6th year Gryffindors started walking into the Great Hall to join their classmates for lunch, and Lily noticed Mary was joining as well.
"Boys, boys, boys" she grabbed the Marauders' attention and all three looked at her. "Mary is coming and she'll be asking you to join the Halloween party committee or something similar, I need you to say no because I'll need-"
"No need to explain Evans, you can always count on us to do nothing" Sirius interrupted her, continuing to eat.
Lily looked at Remus who shrugged before returning to her book.
As suspected, as soon as Mary joined the table, she asked around who wanted to be apart of the 'house-elves support group for events and festivities' - or H.E.S.G.E.F. for short.
"We can't make it" James announced.
"Yeah McDonald, we'll be smashing our own feet with a cauldron"
"Gross, Black. With all the food you eat that was elf prepared, you of all people should be more keen to give out a helping hand"
Sirius showed her each hand full with a chicken leg. "Can't"
And Mary rolled her eyes.
"I can join Mary." Peter, who had walked in later with the rest of the group, volunteered. And the rest of the Marauders eyed him pointedly.
"Thank you Peter! See? This is a true Gryffindor right here" she turned to him "We meet every Tuesdays and Wednesdays by the library to discuss how to help. You can join today already" she said with a wide smile. "I'm so excited! Muggles do this every time where they are the ones to prepare their own dances." She looked around to see if anyone else shared her excitement - no luck.
She turned to Peter again with a smile, "You won't regret it." And she gave him a quick peck on the cheek before turning to go talk with other members of H.E.S.G.E.F. from different Houses.
James and Sirius watched her go and then quickly turned to their friend with mocking faces and glares to Peter.
"Oh bugger off you two" he said sitting down, but deeply liking the attention.
"What? What?" Lily asked as she was not paying attention, showing Remus instead an interesting piece she had read from the book.
"Never mind," James dismissed "we're still on for transfiguration tutoring this Thursday?" he asked Lily, covering his slight anxiety to the topic.
"Oh yes, that reminds me - I have to go ask Daniel Indigo to switch Prefect patrols with me today so that I'm free Thursday. I'll do that right now."
James nodded "Sure alright"
And she went to the Ravenclaw table to talk to the young man with a dimples smile and James couldn't help but look at her as she walked.
"So," Sirius said loud enough that James let his fork fall "you and Evans been pretty friendly this year, hum?"
James bent down to grab it "Yeah, that was the general idea."
"Ah-hum, and how's that working out for you - with you being obsessed with her and all?"
"Obsessed is a strong word. But maybe accurate, yes"
Sirius snorted.
"But that was old-James. Now I've grown from childish extremes of the emotional spectrum, either be it passion or hate. I'm in a healthy middle now with my surroundings." James smiled proudly to his right where his friend sat.
"That's brilliant 'cause I'm pretty sure Indigo will be asking her out right about now."
James slowly turned his neck to the his front again. "What?"
Remus pulled his sleeve and turned a page from the book. "Indigo - the bloke Lily's talking to right now" he signalled with his head and both James and Sirius turned around to see an undeniable handsome lad, with curls and those god damn dimples that seemed extra profound while talking with Evans.
"And how do you know that?" James asked, slightly tense.
"'Cause he asked if Lily and I were dating since he was interested and he sees us hung out sometimes."
"And did you say 'no' because she actually has offered her soul and virtue to the academia?"
"Ai Merlin…" Sirius said, rubbing his eyes.
"No mate, weirdly enough I didn't."
"Interesting. Oi Wormtail," James called out his friend who had been distracted daydreaming about a certain peck on the cheek. "You still interested in joining the team?"
Peter lighten up. "Absolutely!"
"Great, let's test your reflexes then real quick for a sec"
"Oh hum- OK…"
"Mate what're you-"
"Accio Quaffle" James called out, stealing the ball from a Slytherin who was showing off how his equipment suited him. "Alright, let's go, stand up" James encouraged.
Peter obeyed, a bit unsure.
"Go back… further!" he ordered, motioning with his hand high.
"Oh I see where this is going…" Sirius said grinning, adjusting his position to make sure he didn't miss anything.
Remus was not 100% onboard with the plan but preferred not to stop James who could get overly enthusiastic for his own plans.
"Perfect! Now make sure you catch it" James shouted slightly, standing up and pushing the Quaffle back before throwing it purposely over Peter's reach.
The shorter boy tried his best to catch it, rushing back blindly only focusing on the flowing ball. As he jumped to catch it, not being at the Quidditch pitch but instead, at the wide but crowded Great Hall, Peter landed perfectly between Lily and Daniel, in an explosion of food and drinks.
"Bloody hell, Pettigrew!"
"Peter!, are you alright?" Lily asked, cleaning soy sauce from her eyes.
"Oh ow, sorry sorry, ow" Peter clumsy tried to get up, not letting go of the ball he proudly caught. "Yes I am, sorry- ow. I just-" Lily helped him getting up. "Prongs was testing me for the Quidditch team" he was smiling as he explained, still with some remains of pasta on his light hair.
"Pettigrew, the teams have been closed for about two weeks now, we've started trainings already." Indigo remarked still quite cross at the interruption of his previous conversation.
"What no, Prongs said-"
But he looked at the table where his friends had been and found only Remus, still hunched to his book. Lily noticed his expression change
"Oh…"
She took some lettuce from his shoulder before laying her hand on it. "They're idiots Pete, I'm sorry"
He pressed his lips. "Yeah I know", he said sharply, stepping away from her. "It's a joke, I know. We were joking, it's what we do."
She seemed unsure of what to say.
"You should know I mean, Prongs is always going after you. We all do, that's our thing."
"Yeah… sorry, I guess it is. Just typical Marauders" she gave in.
"Yeah… yeah exactly" and he walked away, sitting back again at their table and not bothering to clean up.
That evening, Lily was patrolling the halls of Hogwarts as she did every week, except this time with an Hufflepuff 5th year. He was alright and nice enough but Lily was so particularly tired that she did not feed like stretching the round longer than strictly necessary. She was dragging her feet and still thinking that she should review her notes for Charms the next day when she passed by the 2nd floor bathrooms. For a moment, she considered ignoring the rooms, thinking that even if some couple was using it for less than respectful reasons, she was not in the mood to drag them out and do something about it.
Still, has her conscious had a hard time letting her off the hook, she sighed and dragged herself to push the door of the bathroom, ready to stand there 2 seconds, and then leave it empty as she had found it.
Instead, Jamie Jenkins was crouched on the floor, dishevelled, sweat in her face and holding her stomach.
"Lily" she breathed relieved to see her but clearly in pain "please, I need your help"
Lily was frozen for a second before running to her friend's aid. All the blood on the floor had taken her off guard.