Okay this is literally a first for me, my first Jujutsu Kaisen fic. I wanted to take a look at Shōko and Gōjo's frienship and how it's changed and then make it even more angsty, lol. And so here's a fic about them, enjoy.

Disclaimer: Jujutsu Kaisen doesn't belong to me.

Watching The Boys

It was a cold Friday afternoon at Jujutsu Tech, the snowfall from that morning had settled into a light dusting of snow that drifted lazily to the ground. It was due to snow later that evening as well. But other than the chilly weather, for Ieiri Shōko, it had been a pretty normal day.

That was until Gōjo walked into the med room, he wasn't injured or anything and there was no emergency, but he was being quieter than usual which made Shōko more than a little suspicious of him.

Gōjo came and went whenever he pleased wherever he pleased, that's just how he was most of the time, but since being the strongest always kept him busy and away, the times when she specifically got to see him were few and far between. They only saw each other when they needed to. So for him to show up like this was strange.

Almost ten minutes had gone by and he hadn't said anything. Something was off about him. "Am I supposed to guess why you're here or…?"

"Can't I come by and visit whenever I like?" he was sitting in the bench at the end of the room.

"Of course you can, but seeing that this is the first time I've seen you in a considerable while, makes me think there's another reason for this." she crossed her arms and leaned against the counter, thinking. "Is this about Suguru?" the way he slightly tensed told her she was right on the money, but knowing Gōjo…

"What makes you think this is about him?" deny, deny, deny, always gotta play the fool. He raised a brow when she pointed towards the door. He turned his head to see what she was gesturing to, a calendar hanging on the wall. Today's date was circled.

Oh.

"Okay, so I might have heard you on the phone with Utahime earlier this week."

"And what did you maybe hear exactly?" she'd play along if that's what he wanted, and if it would get him to explain the strangeness in his behaviour then all the more reason.

"I wasn't listening intentionally, at least not at first, but when you said his name and I knew his birthday was coming up, I thought—

"You thought you'd come check on me. After all this time." she'd said that last part more to herself than to Satoru. She let out a short sigh and went to join him on the bench. "Okay I admit, there are times, especially when his birthday comes around, that I think about him. And I'd mentioned that to Utahime. I guess I just miss him sometimes." it was definitely more than sometimes but she was satisfied with the answer she gave. And if she was being completely honest with herself, she missed both of them. She'd been in the same room as Gōjo plenty of times and it would still feel like he wasn't there.

"You do?" he turned to look at her.

She lightly scoffed at that, "You weren't the only one that cared about him but unlike you, I never tried to stop him. There's no doubt you felt it the hardest, but at the end of the day we both lost him, and after a while I lost you too."

After Suguru's defection she barely saw him anymore until it felt like they were in their own worlds entirely. Suguru had gone one way and Gōjo another, while she was left alone in the middle. The silence had been deafening. The emptiness stung. She could accept Gōjo not coming to see her, but dammit did he have close himself off so quickly? Because she had worried about him. When the dust had settled and there was no room left for denial anymore, only the cold, sickening feeling of reality suffocating them, that Suguru was truly gone from their lives, she'd wanted to be there for him.

But he was just so good at everything, even closing himself off to everyone. And she couldn't remain where she was forever, she had to move forward too and she had, which left both where they were currently. Friends but not like before.

Gōjo remained painfully silent, he wasn't even looking at her anymore.

"Shōko, I—

"No, no, let's not turn this into something. I didn't say that to make you feel guilty or get into a debate. I'm just recalling things as they happened, you can't deny things haven't been the same with us since then." there were definitely things she'd wanted him to hear but Shōko wasn't expecting some kind of drastic change to come out of all this.

"In my defence, you're not very upfront about your feelings." he teased.

"That's rich coming from you, Gōjo." a nonchalant smile on her face.

"Correction, I'm always upfront about my feelings, everyone knows that. In case you haven't been paying attention, I'm the star of the show." he answered in that typical over-the-top Gōjo way, she'd almost fallen for it. But she could see him for what he was at least at this moment, honest but not really.

"Not true, everyone knows what you want them to know. That doesn't always mean it's what you need them to. You talk a lot but there's so much you don't say." she looked very carefully at the man sitting beside her, "Yet another thing you're good at, you've got more than one barrier covering yourself. You seem so easy to read at first glance but does anyone really know Gōjo Satoru?"

Do I know you?

"Ouch." he chuckled, "I think we both know I'm not that smart."

"I think we both know you are."

They remained silent for a while, letting each other's words sink in, before Gōjo let out a light laugh. Shōko laughed as well. It didn't last long but they were genuine laughs. Gōjo leaned back, looking up at the white ceiling.

"Do you ever regret it? Not trying to stop him or saying anything to change his mind?"

Shōko leaned her elbow on the armrest, pondering his question.

"It's not a question of regret for me, more like knowing my own limits. I get involved when I have to but other than that, you know what I'm like. I knew I couldn't stop him, his idea seemed so far from reality I couldn't grasp it. I just wanted to know why he was doing it, knowing that was the last time I'd see him. That and I knew you'd try to stop him."

"Yeah well, look how that turned out." his words were weighted as they left his lips, still heavy with so many feelings he'd never let out.

"I'm probably the only person who wasn't surprised that you didn't. If it came down to killing him, you could never… at least not back then. I've been watching you two since we were all naive first years. It was never going to be easy to deal with him because of how close you were, even if you were the only one that could strength wise."

How different would things have turned out if he'd spoken to Suguru before he decided to leave everything and everyone behind? Gōjo had seen the change in Suguru the year after Amanai's death, but he'd never been one to pry too deeply. When Suguru told him he was fine, he'd taken that answer as it was and left it alone.

Not to mention the increase in the number of missions he received since becoming the strongest, meant that he and Suguru saw each other less and less. He hadn't been around to see Suguru's decline and when they saw each other for the last time, it was too late.

"Now let me ask you a question, was it intentional when you pulled away?" Shōko's voice pulled him from his thoughts.

"Pulled away?" he didn't know how to answer her question. Whether or not it was intentional, he wasn't really sure. As much as Gōjo had incredible vision, there were things he chose not to see. This very well could've been one of them. Did he want to know the answer, for his own sake, no he didn't, but Shōko deserved a genuine response. Hurting her, as he now knew he had, was never and would never be intentional. "It wasn't at first..." and there it was, his bad personality, at least as he saw it, never stopping to consider other people.

"You don't lean on anyone like you did with Suguru. Certainly not with me, even though I was right there. I'm obviously not him but still, did things have to get so quiet?"

"I became the strongest, I am the strongest. I can't just…" he sighed.

"Ha! That's never mattered to me and it still doesn't. You got a hell of a lot taller and you've matured a bit since back then. You are the strongest, no one can dispute that, but to me you're still the same Gōjo." this time she turned so her body was facing him. Gōjo was sitting forward, his elbows resting on his knees.

"Being alone became necessary."

"For who exactly?" Shōko asked blankly, "You don't always have to be. This is just me but it doesn't seem right."

The relief he felt at her words was very telling of how he felt inside. Being the pinnacle of Jujutsu society wasn't a mantle he could so casually cast aside. He had his cross to carry and he would carry it but it was good, great to know that someone, that Shōko saw him as a person, as Satoru first. He smiled to himself. There was at least one thing his Six Eyes couldn't see and discern right away and that was Ieiri Shōko.

She was right in her assessment of him, there was a lot that he didn't say, that he couldn't say even if he really wanted to. Ironically, he couldn't find the strength to be that open with anyone ever again, there was too much riding on him being the strongest, being perfect. But he'd allow himself this small comfort, this moment he shared with Shōko. Never asking for comfort but receiving it anyways.

"I can't, Shōko..."

"I know," she nodded at his genuine answer, "But I needed you to hear me."

And if there's one thing he would always be grateful for, it's that Shōko would never hold it against him. She never had. They both knew that.

"And with that out of the way," Shōko stood up and went to get her bag, "You're taking me out for drinks."

"I am?" he smiled incredulously.

"You said you were checking up on me, going for drinks still counts. Now c'mon." she headed for the door and waited for him.

"Yeah but why am I paying?" he followed her to the door.

"Because you're a good person." she smiled up at him. There was more to her words than she was letting on but she never elaborated.

Gōjo got the message loud and clear.

They both walked out together and headed to the school entrance. The snow began to pick up again, Shōko had almost forgotten how cold it was since most of the school was heated. She wrapped her scarf around her neck and rubbed her hands together, "Oh and since it's Suguru's birthday, I think I'll drink enough for all three of us."

"Yeah I don't think that's a good idea."

The two of them carried on talking, deciding to get dinner first and then drinks. For Gōjo, for the first time in too long, he wasn't completely alone. Sure he might not have been completely transparent in his feelings but he'd taken a step forward in that regard and that's what mattered.

And just as Shōko had expected, things hadn't miraculously changed between them, a single conversation couldn't solve years and years of silence. But at the very least, things did a feel a little bit like old times for her.

Even if it was just for tonight, she'd be the one seeing and watching him. Just like she'd wanted.

And there you have it, this little idea had been in my head for days and I just had to write it out. Hope you enjoyed!

Well, that's it from me-

Until the next story:

Ketsui Tasogare :-)