It was so long ago that I left Ryuuko on the doorstep of that household—the Mankanshokus. In pictures, we were this happy family but, behind closed doors, it was a different story. Ryuuko got the worst of it. It seemed like she was an annoyance to our mother but what mother did went beyond the pale of expressing annoyance. If it weren't for me, I think Ryuuko would have died a long time ago. Eventually, it got to be too much, and I ran away, taking her with me. I don't remember how long we were on the streets, but I do know that she was practically starving and I started to resort to thievery. At that point, I felt like I had no choice. If anything, it was better to give her a chance than to have us both starving in the streets, so, in scrawling a little note on the back of a photo. I left her at the Mankanshokus.
Eventually, I did end up getting returned to that house but without my sister. The abuse stopped but I'd much have rather died in the streets. It was like, to our mother, Ryuuko never existed. I would bide my time. Mother eventually died and I inherited everything, a vast estate that I won't live long enough to possibly spend, so I took to sending money to the Mankanshokus for Ryuuko's care. I wanted to take her back or, at least, visit her, but I couldn't bring myself to do either one, seeing how she was so loved and cared for.
I still don't know how I managed to reconcile my choices, but I know that I made them in the circumstances I was given. My heart hurts at not having visited her in all these years and for leaving her but I genuinely felt like I really had no other choice.
I'm a coward, I know.