The lights on my wall shine on my bedroom wall and I can't help the smile on my face. popping up, I practically run down the stairs and open the door before she can even knock. Emma is standing there with Henry by her side.
"Can we sleep here tonight?" she whispers. I nod and she comes in.
Henry goes and lies on the couch not saying much, he's in his pajamas with his curly hair all tousled like he came straight from being asleep.
Once he's all settled on his makeshift bed on the couch, Emma kisses his forehead and he's knocked out.
"You gonna tell me why you're here?" I whisper, careful not to wake the kiddo up as we make our way to the breakfast bar. that's our spot, we've spent hours in these seats talking about everything and anything at all hours of the night.
"He's just drunk again and I don't want to put up with it right now." I pour her an ice water with a straw, the same drink that she always has to have before she falls asleep. She smiles and sips it slowly.
There's more to the story, but I'm not going to push her on it just because I know how this works, she'll tell me eventually on her own time whenever she's fully processed whatever happened. She has a habit of downplaying any drama that Neal brings, he's her husband and I get that fights need to stay within the parameters of their marriage, but this isn't the first time in the past couple of months they've come and crashed at my house, becoming somewhat of a habit now. I feel like garbage but every time I see her headlights shine against my wall, because in my eyes it's a small victory.
"If that's all then I assume it's in bad taste that I want to ask if you want to have a drink?" She's trying not to be amused but she's trying to hide a smirk. that's the smirk I will crack a million jokes over and over again just to get a glimpse of that face she makes. I sit down
"What do you have for me tonight," she asks getting up and going into the fridge. leaning down and pulling out a glass bottle of some fruity little drink
"That same girl leaving her drinks here still?" she asks cracking it open.
There's no girl, I buy those drinks and leave them in the fridge for her when she comes over. I always have the drinks she loves. I would never drink them, they're too sweet with too little alcohol proof for my liking. but she loves them, so I don't mind spending a couple of bucks for her to have her drinks here waiting for her.
"Uh yeah, she comes over occasionally," I lie.
"Funny, because there's the same number of drinks in the same order I had last time." She shakes her head at me and plops down on the stool next to me.
"Okay fine, I just want to make sure you have something here you like, so if I see them in the store I'll pick up a few." I shrug it off like it's no big deal.
"So was there ever a girl?"
"There's been girls, just none that was serious enough to bring back to my place."
we talk about stupid shit over a game of rummy, which I find honestly pretty boring. but seeing her face light up whenever she beats me is well worth the bore of the game.
it isn't until a few hours later that she starts to yawn after every sentence that I know it's time to head to bed. going upstairs I tidy up a bit and make the bed up for her, light the fireplace, and shut the blinds.
she helped me set up my bedroom when we were still "talking" and I never had the heart to change it in any way, Part of me is still holding out that maybe just maybe, we'll go back to sharing this bedroom the way we once did.
once I get everything all settled away I toss her one of my shirts for her to wear she disappears into my room and I head back downstairs.
I go to lay on the oversized couch, Henry's feet at my head and I chuckle because I know this boy is going to kick the shit out of me, but I don't care because he's the only kid I would ever let kick me. I gently fall into a very light sleep, waiting for him to wake up and need something, I'd rather he wake me up than wake her up. gods knows she rarely will get an uninterrupted sleep cycle.
"Killan..." a quiet voice whispers in the dark. a light flickers on along with some quiet muffled steps.
"Yeah?"
She comes up behind the couch, standing in my oversized shirt that barely even grazes her thighs.
"I think he'll be fine down here if you want to come upstairs. I feel bad I always kick you out of your own bed."
That by no means is a good idea. I'm not an animal but I'm still a man, and sleeping in bed with a girl I'm beyond in love with and trying to restrain myself knowing how good she feels. the time-old tale of the angel and the devil on my shoulder.
She slides in bed first and I slide in after her she throws the blanket over me as she gets settled in the mattress dips towards me with my weight, her head leaning on my shoulder, her body away from me, her knees brought to her chest on the opposite side on me. It's nice, nothing too risqué, but close enough to her that I can smell the warm soft smell of her hair, she always uses the softest-smelling shampoo that makes my head spin in the best way. my fingers find themselves tangling lightly in her hair.
"I forgot to turn off the light.." she whispers and goes to get up. I catch her arm.
"No it's fine leave it be," I whisper back not wanting to lose what little warmth her body gives off.
despite my protests, she gets up anyway races across the room to turn off the light, and runs back. the way she giggles like a child running in the dark is adorable. She comes back into bed and I take the plunge and grab her waist and pull her into me. the way she moves around trying to find her comfy spot is driving me insane.
"Can I tell you a secret" she whispers in the dark.
"Always."
"I missed cuddling with you" The confession itself without any backstory isn't much of a big deal, but the fact that she's married, the history we have, and everything else that contributes to it makes that an illicit confession.
"Same. You know what else I miss."
She turns her head so she can see me out of the corner of her eye. I take the chance to lightly grab her face with one hand, my other hand that's trapped under her head grabs her hand that's extended off to the side of her head "You"
Emma's pov
His fingers are so warm against my skin, that every inch of my back is pressed against his body, sending my body into a frenzy.
Whenever he gets in the mood his breathing gets dark and heavy and is usually swiftly followed by him making some sort of quick move, whether that be pressing me against a wall, or grabbing me. whatever he does it never fails to send a shiver up my spine.
He lets go of me and starts poking my sides and it doesn't tickle but I know what he's trying to do, and not to mention this is the most attention I've gotten from a man in so long, Noah and I aren't really in that same space as we were before. not to mention this is Killian. it's been a while but from what I remember, which is everything, he never fails to give me a night to remember. flashbacks will hit me at random times that make me want to myself in a cold shower just to forget the little snippets replaying in my mind.
he keeps trying to tickle me and I play along, not so subtly just happen to rub my ass against his erection.
it's full-on roughhousing now, his fingers "accidentally" slide under my waistband, and my breath hitches every time he gets even remotely close to touching me.
I don't know how but I end up on my back with him hovering over me, his body weight slightly pressing me deeper into the mattress. suddenly the giggles that once filled the room, are replaced by a thick tension as we both notice exactly how close we are. our wild erratic breathing intertwining as our noses are pressed against each other our lips mere millimeters apart, I wouldn't even have to move my head for them to collide, all I would have to do is lightly pucker and I could feel his lips pressed against mine. which I know is what he's waiting for me to do, same for our first kiss, I have to be the one to initiate something as intimate as kissing. this messing around we pass off as roughhousing is very very different than kissing, there's a line of intimacy I'm not quite sure I'm ready to cross.
he's got that look in his eyes that reminds me of a predator staring at its prey, a look that makes me think he wants to devour me. if it was anyone else staring at me like that I would be terrified. the way he easily outweighs me and could overpower me without a second thought. but I know that he would never even dream about pushing past whatever line we think is there, In truth, there's no line, or whatever line there was it's far gone the second I asked him to come upstairs.
the eye contact becomes a way to overwhelming "pause." I whisper, my lips touching his as our safe words leave my lips.
he pressed his forehead against mine for a brief second before he rolled off me onto his back. I instantly regret calling a pause as soon as his weight is lifted.
"You okay?" he breathes.
"Sorry got a little intense there," I explain weakly
"More than a little."
"No one can ever know."
"Nothing happened, just a little tussle"
The willpower I had still left in my body, whatever wifely dedication and loyalty remained fled my body as my hand searched in the dark for his. Once he catches what's going on he sucks in a breath as our fingers intertwine.
"Unpause." When the word reached his ears he fumbled with the drawstring on his pants, followed by him bringing the hand that he was holding to his rock-hard member.
"This is what you do to me" his breath hitches as I grasp him gently building to the pace I know he enjoys. without breaking my rhythm I scoot over closer to him, his head is tilted back mouth slightly agape, leaving his neck fully exposed. if there's one that completely unravels him, it's his neck being teased, which similarity is also my weakness. I gently place small dainty kisses across the entirety of his neck, sneaking a bite in there occasionally, just to hear that rough intake of breath that lets me know everything I'm doing right.
I let go of my grip on him and his protests are cut short when I climb on top of him he goes to grab my hips and I stop him, grabbing his wrists with both of my hands, I pin them above his head and his smirk almost makes me break my confident streak but I focus on his eyes and start grinding against him, between the eye contact, and his firmness hitting that spot almost makes me lose control.
he lets me go on for a bit, but I'm not made for top, I'm a pillow princess till the day I die, Once he notices I start to slow down he throws me like a rag doll, regaining control and he graciously lets me borrow. it's how easily he flips me to my back that makes me sigh. it feels so amazing not to have to be the one to be in control, but to still steal it now and again.
we're back in the same position we were before, our lips so fucking close to touching without touching, only this time he's giving me Eskimo kisses, rubbing his nose back and forth against my cheek to my nose, as his head moves there's slight pressure against my lips, he does that until I can't take it anymore and I go in for a full kiss. once that barrier is broken it's like something snaps in him whatever reservations he had completely disappear and he goes insane going from deep passionate kisses to soft hesitant.
it feels like months of kisses he's held back come out at that point.
both of our clothes swiftly disappear without breaking the kiss.
"It will always be you," I murmur against his lips. with that, he takes the plunge and everything after that moment is a complete blur of mind-altering closeness.
Killians POV
I forgot how much this girl loves to be worshipped, she never seems to get tired, round after round, She just needs a few minutes to rebound and she's ready for the next round. I genuinely lost track of exactly how many times I've finished.
once she gets to a point where she's whimpering every time I touch her, no matter where, I know it's time to stop and give her some lovin she deserves. I pull her back into the original position we started the night in, her head nestled into my chest, every couple of seconds I plant a kiss against the top of her head, rubbing up on her arm.
At some point, our fingers tangle and I never want to let go. the way her hand fits perfectly into mine, I swear she was made just for me. the way her body fits perfectly against mine, the way her smile sends lightning bolts into my core. just everything about her is absolutely perfect and I can't stand the thought of not getting to be with her like this all the time.
Once she's softly snoring i take the chance to let the reality of what just happened sink in and as much as it was wrong. nothing in my life has ever felt so right. I'm in love with this woman and there's no denying it.