Happily Ever Urkel
Steve Urkel heard a knock at the door. He got up from the couch in the Winslow living room and went over and opened the door. His ex-girlfriend, Myra Monkhouse stood on the doorstep, an uncertain look on her face.
"Steven, you wanted to see me?"
"Oh yes I did, come on in," Steve held the door open for her.
"Where's Laura?" Myra asked skeptically as she walked into the living room.
"She's out, I had to talk to you alone," Steve answered.
"What about?" she asked.
"Well, I've been doing a lot of thinking," the scientist told her, "and I've decided that I...I...well, I can't marry Laura."
Myra's eyes widened, "Stevie, what're you saying?"
"Myra, you're the woman I want to be with. I chased after Laura my whole life, and she rejected me for far more years than she actually accepted me. I told her once that she was like trying to touch a star, you'll know you'll never make it, but you keep trying. Well, when I met you, Myra, I didn't just touch a star, I roped the whole moon." Steve reached into his pocket and pulled out a ring box and opened it up, revealing a gold band with a big diamond on it, "Will you-"
"YES!"
Steve glanced to the side, then back at the short woman, "You didn't let me finish the question."
"Oh!" Myra was practically bouncing on her feet as she briefly ran her hands over her hair and composed herself, "go ahead."
Steve got down on one knee and looked up at her and asked, "Myra Boutros Boutros Monkhouse, will you marry me?"
"YES!" she balled her hands up by her shoulders and jumped.
"Oh goodie!" Steve said as he stood back up.
"Just a minute, mister," Myra placed her hands on her hips and asked, "what's Laura have to say about this?"
"Oh well, it was hard on her when I told her the news, but I came up with a compromise," Steve answered. "See I rebuilt my cloning chamber, and cloned myself, so Laura can marry the clone me, and you can have the real me."
Myra's eyes got big and she told him, "That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard!" She hugged Steve, "When can we get married?"
"Oh, whenever you're ready, my beetle butt," he told her.
She pulled back and clasped her hands together, "Let's elope tonight."
"Well that's very short notice, Myra," Steve said.
"Where there's a Monkhouse, there's a way, Stevie," she said as she flashed him a big grin, "In a couple hours I'll be Myra Boutros Boutros Monkhouse-Urkel."
"And I'll be the happiest man on God's green earth," Steve added, looking straight ahead as if he was actually seeing their future. He turned to Myra and told her, "You know, if you think about it, we really have Laura to thank for this."
"Her!?" Myra's smile dropped, "what could I possibly have to thank her about?"
"Well remember, Myra? She was the one that fixed us up in the first place, why, if it hadn't been for Laura, we never would've met."
Myra turned to the side with a half scowl. "There'd have to be a catch, wouldn't there?" She turned to Steve and flashed a big smile, "I mean, why quibble over petty details like that?"
The front door opened and Laura and the clone Steve walked in.
"Oh hi, guys," the other Steve said, "what's shaking?"
"Sorry, Laura, looks like the best woman won after all," Myra said smugly.
Laura rolled her eyes slightly, "Yeah, Myra, I guess so."
"No hard feelings, I hope?"
"Well," Laura shot the other Steve a look and said, "it's been an easier transition than I thought it would be. But when you think about it, if I can't have the original Steve Urkel, I guess an exact replica would be the next best thing."
"That's the spirit," Myra said with a big, toothy, self satisfied grin on her face.
"Does this mean you said yes?" the second Steve asked.
"Yes indeedy, we're eloping," Myra told them.
"Oh well congratulations!"
The two Steves shook hands and Laura hugged the first Steve.
"I hope you two will be very happy," she told him.
"Oh we will be," he replied.
"Sorry you can't be my bridesmaid, Laura, but on such short notice, there wouldn't possibly be time to have anything made in...your size," Myra commented snidely.
Laura forced a smile and said in response, "That's okay, just knowing you two are going to be together forever is...reward enough for me."
"Ha-hem," Steve nudged the shorter woman, "Don't you have something else to say, snookums?"
Myra shot him a look, but he shot one back, and she turned to Laura with a big fake smile and said, "Laura...I want to...th...th...thank you...for bringing Stevie and me together...and for graciously stepping down as his once and only."
Laura shot back a smile that was just as fake and replied, "Oh you're welcome, Myra, and thank you for being such a gracious winner."
"Anytime, ooh, come, Stevie," Myra took her fiancee's hand, "let's wake up my family and give them the good news."
"Right-a-roonie," Steve turned and waved to the other two people in the living room, "Bye, guys."
"Bye, Steve," Laura waved.
"Toodles!" the other Steve waved.
The door closed behind the couple, and once that was over, Laura turned to Steve and said, "Looks like she bought it."
"Well why wouldn't she?" Steve asked. "My clone is exactly like me. You know, Laura, that was a brilliant idea you came up with."
Laura shrugged and replied, "I figure this way we both get what we want, Myra gets to be with you...and she'll leave us alone, and I get to be with the real you." She looked at him coyly and added, "but there's something I wonder."
"What's that?" he asked.
"How do I know it's the real you?"
"Oh well, I can think of one way," Steve wagged his eyebrows.
Laura smiled at him, and they kissed.
"Well, what do you think?" Steve asked.
Laura's eyes were twinkling as she answered, "Yeah, it's you."
The front door opened and Eddie stepped in, wearing his police uniform. "Hi guys."
"Hey Eddie."
"How'd it go today?" Steve asked.
"Oh man," Eddie huffed as he plopped himself down on the couch, "I get called down to the video store because somebody's been stealing the dirty movies in the back."
"Teenagers," Steve shook his head and scoffed.
"I could deal with that," Eddie replied, "It was a couple in their 80s."
"Ohhh," Laura and Steve said in unison as they exchanged uncomfortable looks.
"Oh, Eddo," Steve walked over to the couch, "I've been meaning to ask you something. Would you be my best man at the wedding?"
"Why me?" Eddie asked suspiciously.
"Well don't you remember? If you hadn't been flunking algebra, and needed me to tutor you, and I wouldn't have called in my favor for it...Laura and I never would've gone on our first date."
"Really?" Eddie blinked.
"Hm, who knew?" Laura asked, "Eddie being stupid actually turned out to be a good thing."
"Yeah...hey!" he looked at his sister.
"What do you say, Eddie?" Steve asked.
He seemed to think about it a minute and nodded, "Yeah, sure, I'll do it."
"Alright!" Steve threw his fist in the air. "Thanks, Eddie, you don't know how much this means to me."
"I can guess," he replied as he stood up, "Oh, by the way, Mom and Dad gave me a message if I saw you before they did."
"What's that?" Laura asked.
"Grandma says she should be back from the Ironman triathlon in time for the wedding," Eddie said.
"Good, it'll be nice to have the whole family here for it," Laura replied.