For context, read my previous fic, "I'm a Fool to Want You." This occurs a few months before the epilogue.
Seems I couldn't keep away from writing this couple for too long. But I definitely wanted to get into what would happen when they drank Lilith's blood.
WARNING: THIS ONE-SHOT CONTAINS SEXUAL CONTENT, AND MENTIONS OF MENSTRUATION AND MATING CYCLES!
Disclaimer: "Hazbin Hotel" is owned by Vivziepop
"Ya sure this will work?" Tina asked, staring at the vial of dark purple liquid in her husband's hand.
Alastor shrugged. "Lucifer believes so."
"Believes?" She fidgeted in her seat at the kitchen table. "Ya mean he doesn't know?"
"Well, the thing is, darling," he said, his fingers drumming on the table, "no sinner has ever conceived a child before. So, Luci is really taking a gamble by giving us his wife's blood."
Alastor had explained this to Tina millions of times. That by drinking the blood of Lilith, the one human soul who didn't have to die to get to Hell and therefore was able to conceive a child, they would be granted this ability. The Radio Demon had gotten this vial of blood eleven years ago, but unfortunately, after their falling out, he hadn't been able to tell Tina until their reunion last year. Now that they were back together, had renewed their vows, and were feeling comfortable in their marriage once again, they had decided it was finally time. Tina could have a second chance at raising a child, and Alastor would get the family he'd craved for so long.
"What if this doesn't work?" Tina asked.
Static crackled, then he replied, "There's always adoption."
He uncorked the vial, then poured half its contents into one cup of coffee, and half in another. He summoned two spoons that magically stirred the cups.
"Just remember," Alastor said, sliding one cup towards his wife, "Luci said there might be side effects."
Tina's hand shook as she took the cup. "W-What sort of side effects?"
"Not sure." He shrugged. "Something about the potion reordering our anatomy to prepare for conception. Whatever that means. But he recommended we wait a few hours before, ahem, trying."
Tina couldn't help but giggle at her husband's blush. Although they'd recently been intimate, he was still shy at the very mention of it. She chalked it up to his asexuality.
"Well." Tina raised the cup. "Bottoms up."
Alastor's cup clinked with hers and they both drank. Tina had drunk blood before, back when Alastor had healed her with his. When mixed with a drink, it left a metallic aftertaste. But Lilith's blood had a spice to it, which was an odd flavor for coffee. Tina tried not to spit it out.
When the couple returned their cups to the table, they stared at each other in silence. Tina looked down at herself, flexing her fingers.
"I don't feel any different."
"Neither do I." Alastor stood and gathered the dirty cups. "But in my experience, one does not always feel the effects of consuming another's blood right off the cuff."
She scoffed. "Ya would be the expert on that sort of thing."
"How do you think I got to be so powerful?"
He hummed along to his internal radio as he rinsed out the cups. He was just drying them off when he felt a sudden stiffness in his trousers. The song he'd been playing came to an abrupt halt.
"You okay?" Tina asked.
"Yes, but…" He cleared his throat, hastening to finish the dishes. "My, err, staff needs polishing."
That was code for an erection. The two of them had come up with it in the event he needed to slip away in front of company, which was rare and random. It amused Tina that he still used this phrase when they were alone.
She responded with her usual offer. "Want some help?"
Alastor paused in his scrubbing. "N-No, that's alright, dear. We don't know how long it will take for Lilith's blood to work. Best we wait."
Once he realized he'd been scrubbing for too long, he sighed and just snapped everything clean. Then he teleported out of the kitchen.
Years ago, Tina would've been annoyed at his rejection. But since they'd started communicating on their desires and boundaries, his declining sex didn't bother her as much. Maybe they didn't do it as often as she would've liked, but when it did happen…
Well, the memory of their most recent time was enough to get Tina all flustered.
He was right, anyway. Who knew what side effects would come of this potion, and when they would kick in? She didn't want something weird happening in the middle of an intimate moment like a horn sprouting out of her stomach.
It wasn't until dinner that Tina started feeling lightheaded. She and Alastor were eating steak when her abdomen started aching. Once she ate more, however, the symptoms seemed to alleviate.
Until she went to bed that night. Because of her bat wings, Tina slept on her side. But no matter how many times she tossed and turned, neither side felt comfortable. It was like something was pressing into her kidneys or bladder or something. She wasn't sure which organ. And the pain was annoying because she was really, really drowsy.
After about an hour of hearing her wings flap from one side to the other, Alastor sat up and asked, "Are you alright, mon amour?"
Growling, Tina pounded the mattress with her fist. "I can't get the fuck to sleep!"
He patted her shoulder. "Want me to whip up some chamomile tea?"
"Yeah." She sat up. "And get me some more of that steak, if there's any left."
"You're hungry?" He raised an eyebrow. "At this hour?"
The steak she'd had for dinner had already been a large cut. Steak also made it difficult for people to sleep sometimes. Eating more seemed counterproductive.
"I don't know." She rubbed her temples. "I just feel so woozy and really want some meat right now."
Alastor complied with her request and went to the kitchen to cook another steak. The pink was almost gone when that wretched member of his made another appearance.
"Sweet Satan." He rolled his eyes down to the bulge in his pajama slacks. "You really like to show yourself at the most inopportune times, don't you?"
He hated that thing. Why did he have so much trouble getting it working with his wife, but it would pop out when he was doing the most mundane, nonsexual tasks? Alastor asked his shadow to finish the steak while he retreated to the nearest bathroom.
By the time he returned with the steak and tea, Tina was pacing the bedroom.
"Finally!" She grabbed the tray. "What took ya so long?"
"Steak takes time to cook, dear, and you normally like it well done."
"Why didn't ya just use your magic?"
She sat on the bed, ignored the knife and fork, and picked up the steak by hand. Alastor tilted his head as she began chewing on it like a wild animal.
Were these the side effects Lucifer had warned them about? Irritability, sleeplessness, an increase in appetite? If so, why were these things only happening to Tina?
He was about to ask if anything else was feeling strange when that came awake again.
Damn it! Didn't I just take care of you?!
So, while Tina was wolfing down her steak, Alastor sought refuge in the bathroom. Yet again. Funny. While the thing had a mind of its own, it didn't normally reach three times in one day.
The smell of blood entered Alastor's nostrils. His eyes popped open, for it wasn't just any blood. It was Tina's.
"Darling?" He sprang up in bed and turned to his wife's sleeping form. "Are you hurt?"
Tina squirmed as she slowly woke. "W-What?"
He threw back the covers and gasped. There was a damp spot surrounding her rear. Since the sheets were red, one couldn't tell it was a bloodstain by sight, but the smell tipped him off. And there was a much more noticeable bloodstain on the rear of her purple nightgown.
"You're bleeding!" he cried.
"What?"
"Your blood's on the sheets!"
"What?!" Tina sat up, then felt the damp sheets beneath her and gasped. "Oh no."
She bolted out of bed and to the bathroom. A second later there was a scream.
"You've gotta be fucking kidding me!"
"Tina?" Alastor got up and went to the door. "What happened?"
A stomp and a grunt of frustration came from within. "Of fucking course! Why not?! Ya can't get pregnant without this stupid thing happening but fucking why?!"
"Darling?" He knocked on the door. "Care to tell me what's going on?"
The door opened, and Tina was heaving after her outburst. "You're not gonna believe this, Al, but I just got my first period in over twenty years."
He blinked. "Period?"
"Ya know, I'm menstruating?"
He stared at her blankly and she raised an eyebrow. Did he seriously not know what a period was?
"My Auntie Flo? The red moon? Surfin' the crimson wave?" No response. "Ugh! When a woman bleeds every month, Alastor!"
"Oh!" Static crackled as his radio restarted. "You mean your monthlies!"
"Yes!" Tina facepalmed. "But I ain't had 'em since I died. Guess it would make sense for sinners not to have 'em if they can't conceive."
That explained all the cramps, sudden craving for red meat and lightheadedness. In life, those had been her usual menstrual symptoms.
"Oh." Alastor turned back to the bed. "Now that I think about it, that blood of yours did smell…different."
"Yeah, yeah." Tina ran a hand through her hair. "Anyway, I doubt Hell's got an abundance of period products. I ain't even asked my imp or succubus employees if they menstruate. Seemed rude. So, Al, can ya magic up some pads or tampons or something?"
Alastor blinked. "Tampons?"
She scowled. "What, did they not have tampons in the 1930s?"
"Forgive me, darling." He scratched his head. "As a man, I know very little about a woman's monthly."
Why was she so surprised? Of course, no men from Alastor's time would've been educated about a woman's reproductive system. Still, the fact that he was clueless after all this time being dead was shocking.
"Didn't your ma ever talk about her periods or monthlies or whatever?"
He paused to think. "I know every month or so, she would ask me to bring her a piece of cloth."
Tina cringed. "No way am I stickin' some random cloth up my vagina!"
"That's what it was for?!" His internal radio buzzed into various stations.
"Okay, okay." She pinched the bridge of her nose, not believing she was having this conversation with a man decades older than her. "Look, I just need something to stop the bleedin' so it doesn't get all over my clothes. It can be a diaper for all I care. Just gimme something."
This was far from Alastor's area of expertise. All his mother had explained about monthlies was that a woman would bleed every month, unless she was with child. That way if he saw blood on the back of her dress, he wouldn't worry about her. He didn't know what women these days used to stop the bleeding, but Tina's mention of a diaper gave him an idea.
"Try this." A snap of his fingers and a pair of red ladies' briefs appeared in Tina' hands. "The cloth is absorbent. I'll make you a few more pairs so you can change them as needed."
Her eyes widened as she examined the underwear. The material was so thin, she could hardly believe it would be effective. She supposed that's where his magic came in.
"Well," she said with a shrug, "let's try it out."
While she grabbed an outfit to change into, Alastor went to clean the sheets. Before he could snap the mess away, he noticed a second wet spot where he'd been sleeping. The realization of what it could be turned his face red. He didn't remember what he'd dreamt about last night, but it must've been…stimulating.
Tina was stressed enough about her own accident. She didn't need to know about his.
Work at the Hazbin Hotel that day was difficult for the couple to get through. Essentially, Tina had to get used to having a period again, and all the discomfort that came with it. The cramps, the sniffles, the hot flashes, the constant need to go to the bathroom, the worry that Alastor's magical absorbing underwear would fail. Fortunately, it didn't, but she spent most of the manager meeting squirming.
The worst part was she couldn't vent about this to anyone. Part of the deal Alastor had made with Lucifer in helping them conceive a child was that they did not tell anyone how they managed to do it. If the others learned that Tina was suddenly menstruating, there were going to be questions.
It was hard for her to get any work done. Especially with her husband so nearby. He was already irresistible, but the menstruation had kicked her hormones into high gear. One brush of the hand, one glimpse of his angular shoulders, and the most erotic fantasies would pop into her mind. It came to a point that she had to keep her legs crossed around him.
Periods were hard, but Tina didn't remember them being this bad while alive. Either she was misremembering, and it only felt like this because it had been so long, or her demon body worked differently, or this was just another punishment of Hell.
But this needed to happen. Drinking Lilith's blood was preparing her body to conceive a child. For that to happen, ovaries, and therefore, menstruation, were necessary. Childbirth was sure to be even more difficult. Still, why did Tina have to get the short end of the stick in this deal? It was likely the hormones talking, but she wished Alastor would experience some side effects, just so she didn't have to suffer alone.
Little did she realize that Alastor was having a difficult time too. Except he didn't understand what was even happening.
Throughout the day, he would excuse himself to "polish his staff" more frequently than usual. He didn't even wait for Tina to offer assistance. He'd heard it wasn't a good idea for women to make love during their monthlies anyway.
At first, he thought maybe he'd unintentionally eaten some sort of aphrodisiac. Then he considered this to be a small side effect of Lilith's blood. It was certainly inconvenient, but he could handle it.
But as the morning turned into afternoon, the urges became more than simply…mechanical. And they occurred when he was close to Tina.
The first thing that caught his attention was her scent. He'd always admired the mixture of peach perfume and lavender mousse, but it had gotten unusually stronger. She would be standing across the room, and it would somehow find its way to him like a cloud of toxic gas. Was it because of her menstrual blood? Did it add something to her scent?
Then came the thoughts. Contrary to what most assumed about his asexuality, he wasn't immune to such thoughts. Tina was the only one he had ever pictured himself with, and she was a beautiful specimen. But for some reason, on this particular day, they were flooding his brain.
For instance, when Tina dropped a pen and bent down to pick it up, Alastor found himself staring at the way her rear stuck upward. The way her dress clung to her waist. The way her cleavage peered out of her neckline.
That, accompanied by her overpowering scent, was enough to send him on another "staff-polishing" session.
As they got ready for bed that night, Alastor couldn't take his eyes off her. Especially in that thin, revealing nightgown of hers. If only she didn't have to expose her back for the sake of her wings. He could barely focus on his own nighttime routine as she brushed her hair and put on her bonnet. She only put that on when she wanted to keep a hairdo overnight or she needed extra comfort. Although it hid her soft black hair, it somehow made her even more adorable.
"Man," Tina muttered as she crawled into bed. "If this is anything like human periods, this is gonna last up to a week."
Her foot brushed against his hoof. Heat rushed through him as he pulled his knees to his chest.
"This baby better be fucking worth it," she went on. "Cuz if I'm gonna go through this again for the rest of my afterlife…"
She trailed off when the bedside radio crackled and squealed. She looked at her husband, who was hugging his knees tightly.
"You okay?"
"Hmm?" He snapped his attention towards her, immediately regretting it once he noticed how close she was. "I, err, um…"
She scrutinized him, leaning even closer. "You're sweatin' like a pig." She touched his forehead. "And wow, you're really warm. Ya sick or something?"
A saxophone peaked on the radio. And something else peaked under the covers.
"Y-Yes!" Alastor crawled back, one hand covering his nether region and the other his forehead. "M-Must be m-my side effect." He scooted as far from his wife as possible. "M-Maybe it's best we…sleep separately tonight. You, err, are going through a lot, darling, and you might be more c-comfortable in a bed to yourself."
This wasn't a suggestion he liked to make, and Tina knew it. He hardly slept without her at his side. But if he really wasn't feeling well, she wasn't going to argue.
"O-Okay." She climbed out of bed. "Get some rest, hon."
The moment she was gone, he bolted to the bathroom. This was really starting to get on his nerves. Perhaps if he just slept it off, the side effects would eventually go away.
They only got worse the next day. Tina had asked Alastor if he would rather stay home due to his "illness," but he had insisted he had simply been overheated last night.
That had been a mistake.
At first, the Radio Demon decided that the best solution would be to keep a respectful distance from his wife, as the side effects occurred mostly around her. This was difficult when they were coworkers. Thankfully, he found the perfect distraction when Charlie asked him to run errands.
When he returned with the groceries, he spotted Tina at the bar, chatting and laughing with Husk and Angel Dust. This wasn't uncommon, as she was friends with both men. However, when Alastor saw Angel's lower arm wrap around her waist, something sparked within him.
His internal radio staggered. His ears twitched. His antlers grew.
How dare that whorish spider put his disgusting arms on his wife? How dare that drunken feline make his wife laugh? How dare those two be even in the same vicinity as his wife?
After snapping the groceries into the kitchen, the Radio Demon stomped over and loomed over the trio. The moment Angel and Tina felt the static on their skin, they turned around to see Alastor growing in height, his eyes turning into radio dials.
"Jesus." Angel huffed. "Who pissed in your drink?"
"Don't." Alastor shoved his hands between Angel and Tina, prying them apart. "Touch her."
The spider blinked. "Say what now?"
"The fuck's gotten into ya, Al?" Husk asked.
"And you." Alastor jabbed the cat's nose with his finger. "Don't talk to her."
"Huh?"
"She's mine." The Radio Demon grabbed Tina by the arms and pulled her to his chest. "Understand?"
Scowling, Tina jabbed the heel of her shoe into Alastor's foot, forcing him to let go. Then she quickly transformed, flapped her wings, and pulled on his ear. He was so stunned by her retaliation that he didn't fight back.
"You and I, mister," she hissed as she dragged him off, "are gonna have a little chat."
She kicked open the office door, which was thankfully empty. Then she tossed him inside and shut the door behind her.
"What the hell was that?!"
Alastor shrunk back into his regular form as he massaged his ear. "I don't like you talking with other men."
Tina's jaw dropped. "Seriously? You were jealous?"
"Is that so unreasonable?" Another burst of rage put words in his mouth. "Given your history?"
"Wow." She crossed her arms. "Ya think another side effect of Lilith's blood is to make ya absolutely delusional? It's Angel and Husk, for cryin' out loud! Ya know they're more interested in each other than they are in me!"
The Radio Demon blinked, the angry glow from his eyes dimming as his head cleared. Of course, how could he think something like that? Angel wasn't into women. While Husk was, he'd always acted more like a grumpy old uncle towards Tina than a suitor. Besides, although the cat refused to admit it, his relationship with Angel had been more serious as of late.
"I…apologize, darling." Alastor rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment. "I…don't know what came over me."
Tina took a breath. "Could ya at least explain what about me chattin' with my friends made ya turn into a green-eyed monster?"
"I…don't know. Honest." He tapped his fingers. "All I know is…when I saw you with those males, and I know you don' t think of them that way, but…I couldn't help feeling…territorial." His antlers grew. "My only thought was to…to get you away. To get us alone." His eyes turned black. "To have you all to myself."
"Okay." Tina held up her palms and took a step back. "Clearly, you're going through something right now. Ya sure ya don't wanna take today off?"
Alastor's eyes rapidly blinked back to normal, and he shook his head to shrink his antlers. "I am perfectly fine, dear! Just had a momentary lapse in judgment! No need to wo—"
The sudden bulge in his trousers made him stop. He turned around before Tina could see it.
Damn thing, can't you take a rest?!
"What's wrong?"
At the sound of her taking a step forward, his antlers crept up an inch. And then returned the urge to herd her into a corner, press her to the wall, and then…
"On second thought!" He summoned his staff. "Perhaps I should take a personal day!"
Far, far away from the woman who set a fire in him like no other.
"Wait." Tina came closer, causing his antlers to grow another inch. "Ya want me to co—"
Without so much as a goodbye, Alastor slammed his staff to the floor and teleported back to the manor.
It had been ages since Tina had had to walk back to the mansion. Well, fly, rather, but still. Since they'd gotten back together, Alastor had teleported them both back and forth. Of course, being a resident allowed her to pass through the magical barrier, and her wings made it easy to avoid the alligators in the swamp. However, she didn't like the fact that he'd left her at the hotel with little explanation as to what was going on. The hormones from her period only fueled her frustration.
The minute she got through the front door, the first thing did was shout, "Alastor!"
No answer. That was expected, as it was a large house. She flew through the living room, then the kitchen, the music room, then knocked on the door to his study. She hoped he wasn't in the basement. The memory of the one time she'd gone down there still gave her the shivers.
Their bedroom would've been the first place she checked, had it not been the furthest. The growls and thumps that came from the room confirmed that he was indeed in there.
"Al!" She threw open the door. "Quit actin' like a goddamn child and tell me what is going—AH!"
Something pounced on her and pinned her to the floor. Tina's eyes widened as they met the black, soulless eyes of the Radio Demon in his most monstrous form. His antlers branched above him like a dead tree. His fangs were sharp and dripping. And the claws spread across her shoulders could slice her with the slightest twitch.
The last time he'd been like this had been during a night terror. That is, when he hadn't been confronting an enemy. Tina didn't think her husband would ever purposefully hurt her, but she knew from her own episodes that he wasn't in full control.
"Okay, Al." She took a deep breath, careful not to make any sudden movements. "I don't know what caused ya to be like this, but ya need to calm down. I don't wanna have to use force on ya."
The corners of the creature's mouth crept up his face. Then he let out a growl like an animal that had caught its prey.
"Tina."
"Yeah, it's me." She ignored the chills his voice sent through her. "And if ya don't get off me right now, I'm gonna have to—gah!"
A familiar pressure against her pelvis shut her up. That had certainly never happened when he was like this. And had it gotten bigger?
She was so stunned that she remained still as his face lowered, his breath hot on her neck as he inhaled.
"Tina."
One set of claws left her shoulder, wandering to the front of her blouse, threatening to tear it open. The hypnotizing scent of brimstone and pine entered her nostrils. The realization of exactly what kind of mood the Radio Demon was in caused her to blush. This wasn't anger, nor fear, but…lust.
As messed up as it was, Tina couldn't help being turned on. After all, the times her husband would proposition her were rare. Most of the time, it was just to get rid of those erections that annoyed him so. But now, something had transformed him into an uncontrollable licentious beast. And seeing him wanting her in this form caused her imagination to run wild. The enormous bulge pressing against her wasn't helping.
But it wouldn't be right. Alastor likely had no idea what he was doing. She might as well be sleeping with a drunken man.
So, she communicated with him in the only way a ferocious beast would understand. Asserting dominance.
"Get off me," Tina said, her eyes turning black as her body grew beneath him, "right NOW!"
Her sonic screech sent him flying backwards into the bedroom. The now much taller Songbat sprang up, flying in after him.
"If you think I'm gonna let ya have your way with me like this," she hovered over the demon on the floor, "then you are sorely…"
She trailed off once she noticed the state of the room. The walls and furniture were ridden with claw marks and welts that looked like someone had taken a blade and scraped the wood. When she turned back to Alastor, she saw that the tips of his antlers were smooth, as if they'd been sanded down.
"Hold on." She glanced at the scrape marks on the bedposts. "Have you been…rubbing your antlers everywhere?"
This wasn't normal. Not even for Alastor. What in the world had drinking Lilith's blood done to him?
"Look, I ain't mad." Tina fluttered down, landing on top of him. "I just wish ya'd tell me what's going on."
The creature's fanged grin softened, and his ears fell flat on his skull, those empty eyes gazing up at her. She felt his body fall slack beneath her. He was submitting to her.
Tina sighed. If she was going to get Alastor calm enough to talk, she had to appeal to the animal that had taken over. Not entirely, of course, but enough to keep it in check.
So, she leaned down and nuzzled her face into the crook of his shoulder. The purr emitting from him indicated that this was the right call. Her hand found its way into his hair, kneading the space between his ears. The Radio Demon shut his eyes, allowing his mate to soothe him.
Beneath her chest, she felt his heartbeat slow. Bones cracked as his body transformed. Tina pulled her face away from his shoulder to examine him. His fangs had shrunk, but not his antlers. When he opened his eyes, the black had shifted back to glowing red. Then they widened in alarm.
"Oh no!" Alastor sprang up, crawling out from under her. "We didn't…I didn't…"
"No." Tina relaxed back into her normal form. "Although, you seemed…very eager to."
Her gaze trailed down to his nether region. It seemed that part hadn't relaxed. Alastor looked down and yelped, covering it up.
"F-Forgive me, I…" He curled his legs towards his chest. "I wasn't in my…I would've never…"
"Hey." She crawled towards him. "It's okay."
"No, it's not!" He scrambled along the wall. "And don't come any closer! You'll only make it worse!"
"And what exactly am I makin' worse? I don't even know why you're actin' like this."
"Neither do I! Although," he said, the glow from his eyes intensifying, "I can…conjecture."
"Uh-huh." To give him space, Tina sat back on her palms. "So, let's hear it."
He hid his face in his hands, his antlers cracking as they grew even longer.
"Come on, Al. We promised we'd be honest with each other."
"But it's so…embarrassing."
"Embarrassing?" She snorted. "Al, just yesterday, I menstruated for the first time in twenty or so years. I got blood all over our sheets. Was that embarrassing? Yes. But I told ya about it anyway cuz you're my husband, and I trust ya with every little embarrassing thing that happens to me."
She sighed. "I'm not gonna force ya to tell me, but clearly, whatever's going on affects me as much as it does you. I mean look at what ya did to our bedroom." She gestured to their destroyed surroundings. "Don't ya think I have a right to know why you're tearin' up our place and jumpin' me outta nowhere?"
Alastor lowered his hands, those illuminated eyes peering at her. Then he ran his hands through his hair, feeling the new length of his antlers.
"I think," he said, static cutting in and out of his voice, "in the same way…Lilith's blood is preparing your body to…have a child…it's…preparing…me."
It was a cryptic response, but Tina decided to save her questions until he managed to get it all out.
"At first, all that was happening was…" He winced, looking downward. "Well, this thing was…a lot more active than…it was…"
"I get it." She raised a palm. "I thought ya were polishin' that staff more than usual."
He nodded. "I didn't think much of it. That this was nothing but an inconsequential side effect that would pass. But then…"
Alastor wiped his hand down his face. "The thoughts simply wouldn't…stop. I…I had to get you alone. To herd you away. To keep you from other males. I had to…mark my territory." He pointed to the scrapes on the wall. "The best way I can explain this is…this potion has made me akin to…a deer in the heat."
That explained so much. "Why didn't ya tell me all this sooner?"
"It just…got so much worse when I was around you. All I could think about was how much I wanted you. To breed with you. It was so difficult to control that I thought…I might go too far."
He shook his head. "I almost did."
"Right." Tina rolled her eyes. "Like I would've let ya take it that far."
He chuckled. "Your stubbornness is one of the many things that made me fall for you."
"You're just as stubborn for tryin' to keep this from me." She rose to her knees. "If ya'd told me sooner, we could've figured this out together."
"I know. I apologize, darling." He met her gaze. "I know we agreed to be honest with each other, but…this is all still so new to me."
"What? Havin' hormones?"
"No." Alastor scowled. "I thought I'd explained that my lack of interest doesn't make me impotent."
"I know." She blushed. "I definitely know by now."
His cheeks reddened to match hers. "I was talking about being vulnerable. It isn't easy. Admitting when something's wrong with me. I just…don't like it when others see my weakness."
"Oh, Al." Tina scooted over to the wall, stopping a foot away from him. "Ya know I'm not gonna judge ya on your weaknesses. I open up to ya about mine all the time, and ya never judge me for 'em."
"I know." He turned away. "That doesn't make opening up any easier."
"I guess not. But it means ya won't have to go through this alone." She bit her lip. "Which, uh, reminds me. How long do ya think…this will last?"
"Who knows?" He picked at his antlers. "Mating season for a deer can last for a month or two, but as a demon, I cannot be sure. I'm not even sure if the season matters. I doubt we can ask Lucifer, as two sinners breeding has never happened before."
Tina twirled a strand of her hair on her finger. "Would it help if…we did it now?"
Alastor stared at her in disbelief. "But…I almost…"
"Yeah, but ya didn't. And ya seem to be conscious of what you're doing right now. So…do ya wanna?"
His tail thumped against the wall, making him cringe and her giggle.
"The urge to," Alastor admitted, "is overpowering."
This stirred the same urge in her lower abdomen, but then a sharp pain in the same area reminded her of her own condition. "W-Well, I'd help, but…I'm still menstruating and if we did it now, I'd just get blood everywhere."
His ears perked. "B-Blood?"
He leaned toward her, his fangs salivating. Tina mentally kicked herself. Of course, he'd probably be more into that than the actual sex.
"If you're," she said, scooting closer to him, "okay with that…"
It looked like the distance was about to close between them when he suddenly pulled away. "We shouldn't. We did this to conceive a child, and you cannot do that during your monthly."
Tina raised an eyebrow, then laughed. She kept forgetting how little he knew about periods.
"Actually," she said, dropping her voice into a sultry tone, "that's been proven to be a myth."
His eyes widened. "Oh?"
"Yeah." She smirked. "I can still get pregnant."
He leaned toward her again. "And it…won't hurt you?"
"Not any more than I want ya to."
They were but a breath away from each other. Alastor's lips quivered and his fingers trembled from the desire to take her in his arms and kiss her all over.
"Darling, I fear…" He drew back to prevent her forehead from touching his. "I can't control my form right now. I might… You might not be able to handle it."
"Then how 'bout we even the odds?" She closed her eyes, allowing her body to shift. "Any other concerns?"
His heart raced at the sight of her glorious, monstrous form. As he had only seen her like this when she was at her most terrified and furious, he wondered what it would be like to cherish her when she was at her fiercest.
"Sweetheart?" he whispered.
"Yeah?" She batted her black eyes.
When he blinked next, his eyes also turned black. "Will you help me polish my staff?"
She rubbed her head against his. "Thought ya'd never ask."
They didn't even make it to the bed.
The room was in shambles. Furniture broken, blood splattered, clothes ripped to shreds. Alastor and Tina lay panting on the floor, their naked, back to normal bodies covered in scratches.
"Wow," Tina uttered.
"Indeed," Alastor admitted.
"So, uh, just to be clear." She sat up. "You're still asexual, right?"
"I believe so." His cheeks reddened. "Truth be told, I was too busy admiring your lovely demon form to think about what we were actually doing."
As if just realizing how exposed he was, he grabbed the comforter off the bed and quickly covered himself up. Tina laughed at his shyness.
"So, ya think that was enough to get me pregnant?"
He shrugged. "We won't know for a while."
"Right." She swept a strand of hair out of her face. "Of course, to be sure, we could always…do it again."
She cast him a sultry glance, hoping he would catch on to the invitation.
"Yes, I suppose."
She brightened up and began crawling towards him.
"For now," he said, standing up, "some housekeeping."
A snap of his fingers put the room back in order. It also clothed Alastor and Tina in red robes, hers with slits in the back for her wings. She frowned in disappointment, but should've expected it. He was never up for a second round.
"Now, if you'll excuse me," he said, heading for the bathroom, "I'm going to bathe."
He stopped in the doorway, then turned to her. "You're, err, welcome to join me."
Tina fluttered to her feet in excitement. He rolled his eyes.
"To wash, dear. Not everything is about sex."
"Right." She blushed.
Still, any form of intimacy with the man she loved was worth it. As for the baby, they would have plenty of time to work on that later.
Turns out the first tampons were invented in 1931, but I still have a feeling Alastor, being a man of that time, would have been totally ignorant. Plus, made for a funny interaction.
I see these fics on Alastor's "mating cycle" all the time. While I like the idea of exploring how frustrating that would be for an asexual being, the concept makes little sense to me in the universe of "Hazbin Hotel." I mean correct me if I'm wrong, but why would sinners feel the need to breed during certain times of the year if they can't reproduce? Of course, this is coming from an asexual who has a hard time understanding sex outside of its practical purpose, so what do I know? Plus, I guess anything goes in the world of fanfiction (I mean I guess I eventually bought into it, didn't I?). I just hope I made it clear that asexuals get horny too, doesn't necessarily mean we like acting on it, and acting on it doesn't make us any less asexual.
There may be a couple more one-shots. Once I figure out the exact mechanics of what they're baby is going to look like.