Harry took a deep breath as he slid the razor under his skin. He flinched as red rushed up from the cut and dribbled down his pale arm. Harry gave a sigh of relief as the pain left his body. He looked down at his arm, trying to find another unscarred area in which to cut: He found one just below the crook of his arm. He took another deep breath as he pressed the razor down once more, cutting into his flesh.

"Harry?!"

Harry jumped and dropped the razor. He turned to find Seamus standing in the bathroom doorway, a scared look on his face. Harry looked down at his freely bleeding arm and then back at Seamus. "I can explain –"

Seamus didn't wait for Harry to finish his sentence: He rushed up to him and pulled him into the deepest hug Harry had ever experienced. Harry's breath caught in his throat in surprise; he could feel his heart hammering fast, and more emotion was rising to the surface. But he tried to keep it at bay as Seamus pulled away and stared at him.

"Harry….why?" Seamus asked, his voice full of genuine concern.

Harry stared at Seamus, not really sure how to answer that question. Harry could feel his lip starting to quiver, and he tried to swallow once more. Seamus didn't wait for an answer as he gently took Harry's hand and guided him to one of the toilets. He motioned for Harry to sit down, and he did. Harry watched as Seamus grabbed a few hand towels from the cabinet and started wetting them with warm water.

Seamus got on his knees so that he was just below eye level with Harry and started cleaning the fresh wounds. He could feel Harry flinch as he gently went over some of the newer cuts. He could feel his own emotions starting but took a few deep breaths to calm himself down. Just then, he felt something wet hit his arm. He looked up to find Harry quietly crying, tears pouring down his face.

"I'm not hurting you, am I?" Seamus asked softly, pausing. Harry shook his head as he took a quivering breath. "Can you talk to me? Tell me what you're feeling?"

"I'm scared," Harry blurted out, as if he wanted to say that for the longest time.

"Of what?" Seamus asked, watching Harry closely.

"Of what I'm doing. It's the only thing that's been helping and I can't stop," a fresh wave of tears weld in his eyes, spilling onto his cheeks once more.

"I understand why you did it, Harry," Seamus said, placing a gentle hand on Harry's knee.

"Y-you do?" Harry asked, sounding slightly relieved.

"Yes. You've gone through so much shit in your life – and last year certainly didn't help. That's not easy, even on the strongest of us."

Harry stayed silent as all he could do was nod his head. Seamus resumed cleaning his arm. Harry watched as Seamus was doing his utmost to be gentle. He could feel the emotions rising once more – and the thing he wanted to say the most suddenly spilled out.

"I feel like I'm a big disappointment to everyone," Harry choked.

"Harry, no!" Seamus looked up to see Harry breaking down once more. He pulled him in for another tight embrace and allowed Harry to cry into him. "Who could you possibly be disappointing?"

"I'm supposed to be the strong one! I'm supposed to be the one to figure everything out – to not cave under pressure –"

"Harry, you listen to me," Seamus pulled Harry away and held him by the shoulders, searching his eyes. "You don't always have to be the strong one. You don't have to carry the whole weight of the world on your shoulders. Let other people do the heavy lifting for once."

"But –" Harry choked, but Seamus interrupted.

"I know you always feel like you have to be the one to save everyone. But if you're saving everyone – who's going to be the one to save you?" Seamus asked. Harry swallowed and nodded; He looked absolutely miserable. "Do Ron and Hermione know about this?"

"No, and you can't tell them, please!" Harry looked panic stricken. Seamus squeezed his shoulders in reassurance.

"I won't say a thing, I promise." Pause. "When did you start doing this, Harry?"

"Beginning of the summer," Harry said miserably.

Seamus nodded. "Makes sense. And Ron and Hermione never suspected anything?"

Harry gave a sad laugh. "They ignored me, Seamus. They ignored me for most of the summer. They weren't there when I needed them the most….I had no one to talk to…no outlet to get out my frustrations…my worries….my fears. I've been all by myself for the last three months. I've had no one. Not even my best friends." A fresh wave of tears fell from Harry's eyes, yet he remained calm, staring off into the distance.

Seamus took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. "I'm truly, very sorry, Harry. I'm very sorry that you had to go through everything you did – and then to have to deal with the repercussions alone. That was unfair. Ron and Hermione should have realized you wouldn't've been ok."

"Sometimes I think they believe I'm more resilient than I am," Harry said. "But I can only take so much, Seamus. I'm only human –"

"I know, Harry, I know. It was unfair and cruel they weren't there to help. And even more cruel that you had to do what you thought you had to do to get the release you needed. But you don't have to go through it alone anymore….I can help you if you give me the chance."

Harry gazed into Seamus' blue eyes….he saw kindness, but also sadness…and somehow, he knew Seamus' intentions were pure. Harry nodded his head and smiled slightly, finally feeling relieved; he wasn't alone anymore. Seamus finished cleaning Harry up and threw away the soiled hand towels, making sure to hide them at the bottom of the bin. Harry was truly appreciative of that. Seamus then bent down and picked up the offending razor and held it up so Harry could see it.

"Do you have any more or is this the only one?" Seamus asked.

Harry furrowed his brow for a moment, concentrating. "I think I have just one more in my nightstand."

"You stay here, I'm going to go get it and destroy them both so that there is no temptation." Seamus said, giving Harry a kind smile. He turned and left the bathroom, leaving Harry alone.

Harry turned to the mirror and looked at his reflection. It had been a while since he had looked into a mirror; He felt so much shame from what he did, he didn't think he could face himself. His eyes were slightly red from crying, and he felt he looked paler than usual. But other than that, he didn't feel he looked any different. Harry felt an odd sort of relief; he hadn't felt like himself since coming out of the graveyard….Harry shook that thought out of his head. He couldn't bring himself to think of Cedric in that moment.

"Done," Seamus came back into the bathroom and watched as Harry turned to him, looking much calmer.

"Thank you, Seamus," Harry said. "Thank you for listening to me…" Harry trailed off, not knowing what else to say.

"C'mon, why don't we go for a walk," Seamus said, guiding Harry out of the bathroom.

Harry and Seamus walked for a few hours, talking. Harry didn't realize just how much he was holding in; He talked himself hoarse, all the while with Seamus patiently listening. He apologized several times for how much he was talking, but it didn't seem to bother Seamus. In fact, he encouraged Harry to keep talking…to talk about anything he needed to or wanted to. Harry told Seamus things he didn't think even his two best friends knew – although, they weren't really acting like best friends at the moment. It was starting to get dark before the two realized it was getting close to curfew. They headed back inside and towards the Great Hall for dinner. Just before they entered the Great Hall, Harry turned to Seamus.

"Thanks again for listening," Harry said, avoiding his eyes. "I'm sure you're sick of hearing my voice by now."

"Never, Harry," Seamus said, shaking his head. "You may not have a voice with your aunt and uncle – and it seems with Ron and Hermione at the moment…but you'll always have me to listen and talk to whenever you need."

Harry smiled, feeling better than he had in months. They entered the dining hall and took the two empty seats at the end of the Gryffindor table. They had just started on their Shepard's Pie when Ron and Hermione showed up. Ron sat on one side of Harry while Hermione sat on the opposite side of the two.

"Hey, where were you?" Ron asked, grabbing a bunch of random food and piling it on his plate. "We were waiting for you to come down to dinner."

"Have you been here long?" Hermione asked, scooping mashed potatoes onto her plate.

"Me and Seamus just went for a long walk," Harry said, not looking up from his plate. Seamus could sense Harry's hesitation. After all, he spent nearly an hour complaining about the two. Ron didn't seem to notice. Hermione, however, could sense the staleness in Harry's voice.

"Everything ok?" She asked, watching her best friend closely.

"Yep," Harry said, shoving a big fork full of food in his mouth so he wouldn't have to answer.

"We just needed some fresh air," Seamus added as Hermione looked at him, confused. "It was getting kind of stuffy in the dorms."

"What should we do tomorrow in Hogsmeade?" Ron asked, completely oblivious to the entire conversation.

"Ooh! There's this new paper and quill store. I would love to check it out! We can get there early." Hermione said excitedly. "What do you guys think?"

"I wasn't planning on going, actually," Harry said, continuing to look at his plate.

"What do you mean? You're not just gonna hang around here for the whole day, are you?" Ron asked, confused.

"What Harry meant was, he wasn't going to go early. And we're actually going to hang out at Hogsmeade together." Seamus said, giving Harry a side glance. Harry looked at Seamus, confused for a moment, but went with it.

"Yeah, me and Seamus are going to do some exploring tomorrow," Harry said.

"Oh," Ron said, looking slightly disappointed. "I guess we'll meet up with you guys."

Ron and Hermione finished their food rather quickly and bade the other two goodbye; they had a prefects' meeting they needed to attend to. As soon as they were out of earshot, Harry turned to Seamus.

"Not that I don't want to hang out with you – " Harry started, but Seamus interrupted.

"We don't have to go to Hogsmeade tomorrow, Harry. But I'm not leaving you by yourself." Seamus said matter-of-factly. The two boys stared at each other, and Harry understand why Seamus said what he did. He nodded his head.

"Good call," Harry said under his breath, for his intrusive thoughts were going to a dark place at the thought of being alone the next day.

"I told you I was going to help you in any way I can," Seamus whispered in Harry's ear as Dean and Ginny took Ron and Hermione's vacated seats.

"You're going to be like an annoying boyfriend who doesn't leave my side, aren't you?" Harry jokingly whispered back.

"You better believe it!" The two laughed.