Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Seamus were sitting in the boys' room; Seamus and Harry were playing chess on Seamus' bed; Hermione was reading on Ron's; Ron, meanwhile, was tossing everything out of his trunk in his haste to look for something.

"What the hell!" Ron yelled in frustration, sitting on his heels, his hands in his face. "I swore I packed one over the summer!"

"That's what happens when you wait the day before to pack," Hermione said, not looking up from her book.

"Spare me the lecture," Ron said, glaring at her.

"I think I have one in my trunk," Harry offered. "You're welcome to check."

"Thanks," Ron sighed. He went over to Harry's trunk and started digging through the top.

Harry saw Ron pause out of the corner of his eye and looked up. "Did you find it?"

"Er, n-no…" Ron said slowly. "But what the hell is this?" Ron pulled out a dried, blood-soaked rag and showed Harry, who's eyes grew wide, his cheeks flushing. The other two looked up and then at Harry.

"Oh, um," Harry started. But before he could say anything else, Ron turned the rag over and a small razor blade fell out. He picked it up and looked at Harry in confusion.

"What the fuck is this, Harry?!"

"It's nothing!" Harry said, turning redder still.

"Harry, I thought you said you got rid of them all," Seamus said quietly, turning to Harry.

"I swear, I thought I did too," Harry said, looking at Seamus desperately. "I swear, Seamus, I haven't done anything since that day –"

Before Harry could get the rest of the sentence out, Hermione stormed over to him, and yanked his sleeve up; Hermione and Ron looked at Harry in horror at the sight of the self-harm scars covering his forearm. Harry ripped his arm out of Hermione's grasp and pulled his sleeve down.

"That wasn't necessary, Hermione!" Seamus said indignantly, standing up.

"Not necessary? When the hell were you going to tell us about this, Harry?" Hermione said angrily.

Ron shook his head in confusion, still holding the razor blade. "Harry….you've actually been…cutting yourself with this?"

"He hasn't self-harmed in weeks –" Seamus started, but Ron cut him off.

"Weeks?! Wait, Seamus has known about this for weeks, Harry?! What is wrong with you?"

Harry could feel himself starting to shut down and looked at Seamus in desperation. Seamus sat down and scooted closer to Harry, put a comforting arm around him.

"First of all, there is nothing wrong with Harry. And second, he's stopped now and he's getting better –"

"Seamus knew about this for God knows how long and you didn't think tell your best friends?" Ron asked angrily, glaring at Harry.

"Best friends?" Harry said, his voice shaking. "You found out I was hurting myself and asked what was wrong with me…that's not how best friends are supposed to react."

"How long, Harry?" Hermione asked, completely ignoring Harry's statement. "How long has this been going on for?"

Harry looked down at his lap, trying to keep his composure. "Since the start of the summer."

The room went quiet for a moment. Seamus squeezed Harry's shoulder comfortingly, while Hermione shook her head in disbelief, and Ron continued to look dumbfounded.

"I didn't mean to ask what was wrong with you, Harry," Ron said, breaking the silence. "I'm just worried about you and why you didn't even think to tell us. We're your best friends! I know Seamus is our friend too, but –"

"I didn't tell Seamus! He walked in on me doing it!" Harry bursted. He jumped up from the bed, knocking Seamus' arm away. "And he didn't look at me disgusted, Hermione," he glared at her as she turned red, "or thought there was something wrong with me, Ron –"

"I told you I didn't mean – " Ron started, but Harry spoke over him.

"Seamus understands why I did this! He showed compassion and kindness and has been helping me to heal!"

"Harry, you know damn well we would have helped you – " Ron started angrily.

"YOU'RE THE REASON WHY I DID THIS!" Harry shouted, his eyes starting to water. Ron and Hermione looked taken aback. Harry looked at Seamus, who gave an encouraging nod. "I saw Cedric murdered last year – I witnessed Voldemort coming back – I saw both my dead parents! I went through hell and back! And where were you two? Getting cozy at my godfather's!"

"Harry," Hermione started, but Seamus shook his head, glaring at her.

"You need to hear this," Seamus said, looking back down at the ground.

"You two weren't there when I needed you the most! I needed you guys! I NEEDED YOU!" Harry's voice cracked as tears started spilling down his face.

"But Dumbledore said –" Hermione started in a small voice.

"To hell with Dumbledore! Since when have we ever listened to any rules he's put out? We're the biggest rule breakers in the school! And now, all of a sudden, you want to start listening to what he says?!"

Ron and Hermione exchanged looks but said nothing. Harry continued, his lower lip starting to quiver. "I needed my best friends, and you two weren't there…the one time I truly needed to rely on you guys, and you failed…I had no one….I had no outlet…you guys ignored me, my aunt and uncle ignored me, my cousin and I almost died. What else was I supposed to do?"

The two friends said nothing, so Harry continued. "Funny how the minute my life was in danger, though, everyone wanted to come to the rescue. It's like…like people only want me to be alive because I'm valuable to them –"

"Harry, you know that's not true –" Hermione started, tears forming in her eyes as well. Harry backed away as Hermione made to get closer. She stopped but gave a small nod of understanding.

"We're sorry, Harry," Ron said, sounding ashamed.

"I don't want your apologies," Harry said, turning away from them. And with that, he left the dorm. Seamus looked at the others, who stared right back. There was an awkward silence.

"Is he really getting better?" Hermione asked, tearfully.

"Yes." Seamus hesitated. "You really hurt him, you know."

"We were given strict orders –" Ron started.

"And if Harry was drowning and you were given strict orders not to save him, would you listen?" Seamus asked aggressively.

"You know that's not the same –" Hermione started.

"You know how dangerous self-harming can be? What it can lead to?" Seamus asked, his voice starting to shake. "Besides spiraling into further self-destructive behavior, he could have done even more serious damage to himself. He could have bled out if he went too deep and cut an artery. How would you have felt then?"

"We get it, we screwed up! But we can still help –"

"Harry doesn't want your help now. You two abandoned him when he really needed you. The best thing for you two to do now is find a way to earn his trust back." And with that, Seamus turned and left the dorm as well.

Seamus nearly ran into Dean, who was coming up the stairs. "Hey, Seamus – everything ok with Harry? He looked a complete mess."

"Don't worry, I've got it. Do you know which way he went?"

"He literally just walked out of the portrait hole."

Seamus nodded and headed down the staircase and out through the portrait hole. He didn't have to go far to find Harry: He was sitting on the top step of the tower stairs, his head in his lap, shoulders heaving with deep sobs. Seamus sat down next to him and pulled him in for a tight hug. Harry cried into Seamus' shoulders for what felt like hours. He gently rubbed Harry's back and glared at the stares they were receiving as people came and went.

"I know that was very hard for you, Harry," Seamus whispered. "But they needed to hear it."

"They hurt me so much," Harry sobbed, holding Seamus tightly.

"I know. And I made sure they knew that before I came to find you."

Harry pulled away from Seamus and wiped his eyes on his sleeves. He looked into Harry's wet green eyes and couldn't help but get a pang of sadness; so young to have suffered so much.

"What do I do now? I don't know if I can face them – "

"So don't," Seamus shrugged. "You don't have to forgive immediately, Harry. They need to earn your trust back. If that's your decision, anyway." He watched as Harry tried to calm himself down. "Do you want to go for a walk? Maybe clear your head?"

Harry nodded as Seamus stood up. He offered his hand and helped him up, and they headed down the stairs, away from Gryffindor Tower.