Chapter two
It was another month of intel gathering before I invited Joe to lunch without giving him a reason. If I told him I was about to blow up the Burg, he would call ATF and have me arrested.
Pino's was our twice-weekly lunch appointment until we got too busy with work and less interested in each other. After being shot by Lula, I quit Vinny's and went to work at Rangeman during my recovery. Not surprisingly, Joe enthusiastically agreed to meet me at Pino's, perhaps assuming I was ready to resume the move to his house and become his wife.
I arrived early and went to the most open table. If you are going to make a spectacle, you need an audience. Pino's is Burg Gossip Central, where people gather for the latest news. I acknowledged the people sitting at neighboring tables with a slight head tilt. I was not hiding against the wall. I sat in the restaurant's middle. Eavesdroppers would have no trouble gathering the latest news. After ordering two meatball subs and two Cokes, I waited. Joe arrived 20 minutes late to a full restaurant. Inwardly, I smiled. More ears were present.
He didn't greet me, explain, or apologize for being late. The first words out of his mouth were, "Did you get the usual?"
Joe's saved his charisma for getting women to his bed or sucking up to my mother, encouraging her to get me to the altar. Initially, I thought Joe was handsome and his bedtime prowess was fun. But I learned it was one-sided satisfaction called Gorilla sex and loveless. It became the requirement for living with him on and off for years.
As I ate my meatball sandwich, I set my resolve by mentally replaying the exact words from the same Burg people: "It's time you quit your job and marry me," "We can't wait any longer to start a family," "It's time Joey has heirs, "I want three or four sons," and the one that gets my blood boiling; "I expect Burg grandchildren before your eggs get too old." Expectations I would not fulfill. I made eye contact with the people sitting on either side of us, then put down my sandwich, wiped my hands, touched my cell phone to transit to multiple listeners, and in a strong theatrical voice I said, "Joe, my life is in a rut."
The jerk raised his eyes though his head was facing down, concentrating on his sandwich. A small smile came to his lips as he said, "Finally, you've come to your senses."
I started to gag on another piece of the garbage he has spewed for years. It was time to kick this rubbish can to the other end of the alley. I began in a voice that would carry through half of Pino's, "No Joe, I said I'm in a rut. Why would I want to bury myself deeper married to you?"
His reaction was predictable. His head popped up, his eyes turned cold, he threw his sandwich on the plate, and his voice dropped. "What did you say?" The restaurant was going quiet. Everybody had seen Joe, and I argue before and eagerly anticipated another show. If we were at home or the scene of one of my incidents, he'd be on his feet, waving his arms yelling at me. Since we were in Pino's, he ground his teeth, trying not to explode in front of an audience. Maybe his anger management course did some good. I didn't care and plowed forward. "I am not IN love with you and never have been. Once I thought I loved you. Now, I don't even like you."
His eyebrows shot up while his face reddened. Before he called me something vulgar, I continued, "Joe, how many times have you told me it is my duty as a Burg woman to marry and bear children? That is not me. I've told you I don't want to be a housewife or have children, but you continually ignore me. Today, I am stopping your demeaning and disrespecting me. We are over, forever."
"It's Ranger, isn't it?" He spit back precisely as I had hoped.
With a dismissive hand movement and a head shake, I answered, "He's too wrapped up in his government job and running Rangeman to have relationships. Friendships are fine, but nothing that requires a commitment."
"What government job?"
Typical Joe, he hears only part of what I say. Either he has a hearing impairment or thinks I'm not worth listening to. He skipped right over Rangeman and commitment always convinced I was Ranger's whore and went to the government job. Joe continues to believe he's next in line for an FBI job. He'll soon learn otherwise. "Ranger consults with various agencies on security issues." It was as bland as I could make it.
"What agencies?" He sneered, "Thugs and Murders."
I wasn't going to take his tired bait. I've tried repeatedly to explain about Ranger and his employees being current or retired servicemen. He was probably jealous due to his inglorious military stint. "Aside from those government agencies, Rangeman has four offices nationwide and is looking to expand."
Unimpressed or not listening, he continued, "I warned you he would throw you to the curb once he was tired of you."
"Joe, I went to college to leave Trenton and the Burg. Unfortunately, my mother had me married weeks after my graduation. Seven years after the divorce and living in Newark, I fell right back into this pit of irrelevance and misogamy. You reinforce this belief each time you say I NEED to marry you. There's no need except in your and my mother's minds. I didn't get a college degree to wash windows and change diapers. Over and over, I've told you I don't want children. I want a career. You told me it was my Burg duty to be a wife and mother."
It was time for the Bombshell to drop the cluster bomb with multiple explosions. Looking sad, I said, "Joe, it is a duty I cannot fulfill. I can't bear children. When you forcefully took my virginity when I was 16, you left me with a nasty STD. You were treated in the Navy but didn't bother to contact me. The Navy doctors asked about your recent sexual activity. You wrote down "none." It was a lie. You infected me and several girls in Virginia Beach." Cluster bomb number one: Boom.
Before he could ask about how I found his Navy medical record, I moved on quickly. "When my mother learned about the rape, she was so fearful her Burg standing as a perfect mother would be in jeopardy, she imprisoned me for three months, nailing shut the bedroom window and locking the door. She refused to take me to the hospital because SHE would be embarrassed. There was no concern for my health, only her Burg standing. Is that proper Burg mother behavior?" Boom.
"The delay resulted in scarring that will prevent me from getting pregnant or carrying a fetus. The only other option for children is surrogacy, which costs over 100,000 dollars. You said you want four sons. That's $400,000, Joe." Boom.
The look on his face was shock, confusion, and anger, but no remorse. He probably blames the sterility on me.
I sipped my Coke, "I cannot reverse the damage you and my mother did to me."
I gave the audience time to absorb what I said before I continued. "Joe, I want to see the world, not condemn myself the Burg like my mother or grandmother. After the Navy, you had years to find a wife. Instead, you were too busy screwing Trenton women and young girls. When I captured you, the murder fugitive, you saw me as your last chance to gain respect in the Burg. My mother saw you as doing proper thing by marrying me after the attack."
I had to hold in a laugh. My mother didn't know proper Burg behavior. I bided my time before dropping more bombs. "If you are serious about getting married, let me give you several words of advice. You can not dominate your girlfriend like you do me, trying to force her verbally or with your fists to become what you want." Mentioning Joe's fists was my first hint to the Burg that Joe's anger goes physical. Boom.
"Your wishes are not more important than hers. Marriage is compromise, something you do not know how to do. You do not listen to anything you disagree with. Is that how you run your investigations? Is that why I've solved so many cases for you?" Boom.
It was an underhand shot about his competency. I've solved too many of his cases getting screwed out of a paycheck in the process to give a damn about his perceived competency. Proof of my charges is on the Police Chief's desk.
"Finally, do not play around on her as Dickie did, and you do to me. We both know you are not, nor have you ever been, monogamous. Why should you? You have never respected me. During our times together, you were with others. Why would you suddenly change after marriage? A leopard cannot change its spots. I was your facade for Burg respectability, the only Morelli male to make good. But you would have continued fucking or getting blow jobs around town and continue to this day. I see lipstick on your collar and smell perfume on you. They are not mine. We haven't been together for many months." Boom.
"That's a lie, " he yelled to an already silent restaurant. This was Burg gossip of the highest caliber. Phones were capturing the video as well as the sound.