Chapter Three
I had my Ranger granite face on. Joe accusing me of lying was about to be turned back on him and others. "Shall I start naming your sidepieces, Joe?"
His hand shot out as he growled, "We need to talk about this….away from here."
Has he not seen the cell phones on both sides of us capturing our conversation up close and personal or all those being held high in the restaurant? Never mind my phone on the table sending the discussion to multiple listeners. Now it's time for everyone else in the restaurant to hear what I've been telling Joe. This was for Burg posterity.
Looking down at my arm in his grasp and attempting to stand, I screamed, "Take your hands off my arm, Detective Morelli, or I will charge you with assault. Enough people are watching us to corroborate my charge." He let go.
I decided to appear fearful and backed away from him and stood, taking a play out of Joe's book. I started walking back and forth in front of the table while I ranted. See how that feels, sucker.
"I've had enough of your abuse, starting when you molested me at six in your father's garage and then raped me when I was 16 leaving me with the STD. My mother refused to take me for treatment until the infection got so bad I developed scarring. Now I am sterile. No little Morellis from me." Boom to a broader audience.
Joe was starting to stand to drag me out of Pino's, but the men near us jumped up and held Joe, forcing him to sit down. They weren't Rangemen. They were his fellow TPD officers: Eddie, Big Dog, and Karl. I noticed Eddie reached behind Joe and removed his service piece. Thank you, Eddie.
"How about more sexual abuse? You forced me to have sex when I told you no. When I refused, you beat me where the bruises didn't show. I have hospital records and X-rays backing up my claim. They are not from St. Francis so your pipeline to my medical affairs didn't work. You and too many men here and some women like my mother believe a wife has no say in her husband's sexual wants. Compliance comes with fists. That is bullshit. It is called spousal rape and is recognized in the courts, even in Trenton. The city jail would overflow if Burg women were not kowtowed by their abusive husbands. But the term spousal is irrelevant because we are unmarried and never engaged. There is no such thing as engaged to be engaged. What you've done to me is abuse and assault." Boom.
Joe's forehead vein was engorged and throbbing. He was trying to wiggle out of the cops' holds. How does it feel to have your dirty laundry aired in public?
"Let's talk verbal abuse such as yelling at me at my incidents, never asking me if I'm injured. You rant about how I embarrassed you while I sit there bleeding, bruised, and with broken bones. You are more concerned about your precious image than in my welfare." Boom.
"You assume every incident was my fault, from an auto accident where a driver ran a red light and broadsided me or the time you thought I abandoned my burning car and was ready to arrest me. I was shot by the car thief, bleeding profusely I was rushed to Capital, not St. Francis. Good police work, Morelli." Boom.
"I don't set my cars on fire. Thanks to your friend, the Trenton Times' editor, the Bombshell car count is a great sport and encourages low-life residents to continue the arson on my cars. It would be nice if the newspaper would cough up the replacement money since I'm selling their newspapers."
I had hoped he wouldn't drag the tired chestnut out, but he did. "You are banging all those thugs at Rangeman."
"Wrong again, Detective Morelli. I have told you repeatedly that they are not thugs. Most men honorably serving or have served in our military: Major Manoso, Master Sergeant Sherman, Staff Sergeants Ramsey and Santos, Warrant Officer Brown, and Chief Petty Officers Halcrom, and Hobbs. Need I go on? Are you calling service men thugs? Well, that surely applies to you, or do you assume everyone in the military is a sexual pervert like you? Remember, you served time in the brig for unmentionable sexual activities before the Navy ordered you to leave." Boom.
His eyes were momentarily wide, and his complexion paled.
"Yeah, I've learned your secrets going back to Norfolk. You made some enemies who were happy to discuss Seaman Joe Morelli. You were never a Petty Officer. You didn't serve long enough before being dismissed. I've also learned other secrets. Since being shot, I've had time to research the Burg and you."
He now looked afraid. The fall from his self-proclaimed Italian Stallion and police detective pedestal will hurt.
"Going back to Rangeman, I am an employee at Rangeman. I do not live there. As for my sexual life, I've had sexual relations with three men in my life, you, Dickie Orr, and Ranger. You raped me and took my virginity. Then, like an idiot, I started up with you after clearing you of murder charges.
"Dickie, maybe we should call him Wandering Dick. He was cheating on me before the marriage and after. I thank Joyce Barnhardt for riding him like Zorro and ending my mother's carefully crafted marriage sham.
"As for the thorn in your side, Ranger, he and I have been together on three occasions in all these years. Twice when you and I were off, remember, Joe, you said it was OK if we were with others. Lord knows you sure spread yourself around town during those periods. The third time with Ranger was in Hawaii when he came to get a fugitive I spotted on MY vacation. We had to portray a married couple to be in the resort."
He started to smirk and was ready to call me a 'ho, but I didn't stop. "Let's compare those three times with Ranger to Detective Joseph Morelli. How often have you taken Terri Gilmore, Vito Grizolli's niece, to the Bahamas or Aruba? You two were vacationing together at a nude resort. I imagine that was an enjoyable business trip. Boom.
"Since you've been back from Aruba, you continue to meet Terri at the Omni twice a month for a sexcapade. Guests in neighboring rooms complain about the noise. After your exercise, I wonder what pillow talk you share with a mob princess." Boom.
Now, it was time to start naming more names. The Burg is going to shake and quake.
"Terri isn't your only bedmate. In the last four months, you have fucked Robin Russell, Sally Bonnet, Gina Columbo, Ginger Granger, Jennifer Abbott, Louise Majors, Sally Gardino, Mary Ann Chambers, and your Chief's daughter Georgianne who is sixteen! Let's not forget Joyce Barnhardt, the town skank. She is a regular. Shall we mention all the barflies you take home, averaging two a week? Did I mention the Stark Street whores, both men and women, who service you in exchange for not arresting them for soliciting? I love those security cameras in the alleys and talks with my skips. Oh, the ladies and gentlemen of the street don't call you the Italian Stallion. They call you Sip and Slide." OK, that wasn't kind, but my adrenaline was flowing.
My listing partners, including Stark Street workers, were too much. He jumped up and tried to grab me again. The men behind him kept him from moving. Since he was on his feet, he could see the entire restaurant watching, and he froze.
"That is why I don't like you anymore, Joe. No, I loathe you. I've avoided the command dinners at Casa de Plum for months to avoid you and my mother. She calls you the last decent unmarried man in the Burg. She has a strange definition of decent."
I glanced at my backup team, Eddie, Big Dog, and Karl Costanza, holding Joe. Lenny Stankovic sat at the table to the right, and Rangeman Ram was on the left. Both had been filming my entire monologue. It was time to up my final act. I threw money on the table, "My parting gift to you, lunch." I walked toward the door, knowing he would struggle to come after me. I trusted the cops, Lennie and Ram, to hold him back.
I stopped near the front door. "Ladies, do not believe his self-proclaimed name of the Italian Stallion. If you want to hook up, remember he regularly rides and is ridden by men and women on Stark and Joyce Barnhardt. Bring your condoms to be safe. I always did. I didn't trust him not to prick holes in the condoms. You might bring little blue pills too. He's one-shot and limp for hours." Boom.
I had one parting shot that would bring down the roof. I turned back suddenly. "Oh, Joe, how could I forget the number one reason I will never marry you." I waited until he and everyone else was looking at me. "During my last hospital stay, I received some interesting news. My blood type differs greatly from my parents, Frank and Helen Plum, and my sister Valerie. So I did DNA research." I smiled broadly, "Marrying a half-sibling is illegal. Your father and my mother were lovers. I'm not a Plum. I am a Morelli. Can you explain why you and my mother are pushing me into an incestual marriage?"
KaBoom.
There was an audible gasp from Pino's patrons. Before they could begin chattering, I continued, "In case the rest of you need more gossip, Valerie's father was from the Burg. Anyone remember Stephan Michael Valentino? I'll email all my Burg contacts the research results."