The Bart Wants What It Wants At a private school Bart falls in love with Rainer Wolfcastle's daughter Greta and I throw Lisa a bone and annoy Homer when she learns the human limpet manoeuvre from her brother.
Plot
The Simpsons are in a high octane chase with an olympics helicopter. "Mr Simpson give us back the torch..." said the pilot.
A Gatling gun-style rotary cannon sprouted from the roof of Homer's pink sedan and fired at the helicopter.
The helicopter swerved to avoid the bullets.
"For goodness sake Homer just give them back their torch!" Marge nagged. Homer was holding a flaming torch.
"Never! I'm tired of my programs being interrupted by the olympics!" Homer retorted.
"Why don't you wait two months and watch the repeats?" Bart asked.
"No you wait two months!" Homer argued.
Marge grabbed the torch and threw it but this is where I start being a jerk. Bart's Stretchdude powers activated and he caught the torch. "Yoink!" and took it back.
"Bart!" Marge scolded him.
"Dad clearly bribed me with extra pudding..." said Bart.
Marge made an annoyed groan.
Homer continued the chase.
"Ugh... How do we always get into these messes..." Lisa sighed embarassed.
Eventually they lost the helicopter but would be fugitives across Springfield. Homer saw a school fayre.
"Oh look! A fair!" said Homer stopping.
"Springfield Preparatory School? Daaaad! You told me there were no private schools in Springfield!" Lisa whined.
"If I told you, you'd want to go..." Homer replied as he parked his car. "Let's leave Mutant Bart in the car."
"No let's not!" Oscar snapped at him.
Homer sighed.
They enter the school with Hugo following them on all fours like a dog.
The principal introduces himself.
"Is that your beer tent?" Homer asks while pointing. The principal hits his hand with a riding crop. Mmmmm sexual...
"Monkeys point." The principal explained.
"Monkeys cry..." Homer was upset and rubbed his sore hand.
A teacher showed Marge around then she looked at the stalls.
Some chef riding a space hopper was making Rice Krispy squares. More on him later.
"Oh they have horse riding lessons!" Lisa said in awe.
Homer broke a bouncy castle by bouncing in it. "Oops... sorry kids." He went off leaving some sad students without a bouncy castle.
Lisa was looking in a science laboratory class.
"Wow it's completely perfect!" Lisa admired it.
"Yes isn't it just?" said Principal Skinner.
"Look! Their periodic table has over 200 elements!" said Lisa.
"And ours just has 20 all of them lanthanides..." said Skinner.
"Principal Skinner, we could get all this with a bond issue!" said Lisa.
"A James Bond issue..." said Oscar.
"No Oz..." Lisa sighed.
"Here's your bond issue!" Skinner smashed the window with a breeze block. He went inside and stole musical instruments and stuff.
"Principal Skinner! This is stealing!" Lisa whined.
"Welcome to Dick Cheney's America..." said Skinner.
"Ooooooh! Looting!" Homer ran over and joined in. He helped himself to the desk toys.
"Daaaad!" Lisa whined.
"What? I always help myself to desk supplies and widgets..." said Homer stuffing an Issac Newton swinging balls thing that demonstrates that for every action there is an equal but opposite reaction up his shirt.
"Dad... put the Newton toy back..." Lisa nagged him.
...
Meanwhile Bart and Oscar were on the really fancy dodgems but with posh cars. Bart was driving a Mercedes.
"Why is nobody smashing into each other?!" Bart was annoyed how civilised everyone was being. I know how you feel buddy. "Time to ram a Lang ding dong these dweebs!" said Bart. He rammed into a posh kid violently. This set off his airbag.
Bart watched as a dodgem ambulance came and collected the boy.
Bart laughed evilly.
Oscar was ramming a posh kid's dodgem into a corner repeatedly.
Marge, Homer and Lisa were at an exhibition of artefacts or something. I think it was a silent auction.
Lenny and Carl won some microscopes and started sword fighting with them...
A girl called Greta was being bullied. Some bullies were playing keep away with her bag and the teachers did absolutely nothing to stop this but instead encouraged it.
"Please! Just give me my school bag back!" Greta cried. She started crying.
"Oh look newbie is crying..." said a bully. Suddenly a rock was shot at him.
Bart had Betsy the sling shot. Snicker! Betsy...
"You're not gonna let that go are you...?" Bart sighed at the fourth wall. Nope!
"Put the bag down Jack!" said Bart.
"It's Jackington." said Jackington the bully.
James William Bottomtooth the fourth made a gibberish drone because of his oversized lower jaw.
A black haired kid made motorcycle noises for a dry laugh.
"Yes yes, how do you dooooo?" asked another kid that was bullying Greta.
Bart shot them with his slingshot Betsy and they ran away.
"Thanks! You were so brave standing up to those bullies!" said Greta.
"Bullies?! Girl, those aren't bullies, that is a bully." said Bart pointing over to Nelson who was beating up a butler.
"Stop butlering yourself! Stop butlering yourself!" said Nelson who was making the butler punch himself.
"Yes, quite so sir..." said the butler.
Greta rolled her eyes.
"Anyway, I'm Bart Simpson." said Bart. "Who the hell are you?"
"Greta Wolfcastle." said Greta. Before Bart could ask Rainer Wolfcastle appeared.
"Ah there you are, my little Gretakin..." said Rainer.
"Ay carumba! Your dad is McBain?!" said Bart.
"Yes..." Greta sighed.
"Now I've told you fans... When off screen I'm just Rainer Wolfcastle..." said Rainer. "So is this boy bothering you Greta?"
"No Dad. In fact Bart here saved me from some bullies." said Greta.
"I could have helped!" said Rainer.
"And traumatized a few kids and got another lawsuit? No thanks, Dad..." said Greta.
"Well thank you Bart. How can I ever repay you..." said Rainer.
"Well..." Bart pondered.
Hugo was making notes and had an idea which probably will lead to world domination or just doing mad science as a kooky cartoon mad scientist for the sake of mad science...
"I know! I'll cross bread birds with piranhas!"
"That sounds like a dumb idea for poopheads." said Oscar.
Hugo winced. "Must you talk like a kindergartener..."
Oscar frowned at him.
Bart was chatting to Greta and Rainer.
"Looks my twin brother has got another girlfriend..." said Hugo.
"This entire academy is full of poopheads..." said Oscar.
Hugo sighed irked by Oscar's juvenile insults.
...
However it seemed the Simpsons wanted to go home as Lisa was holding onto the school gates.
"Unnnnngh! Let go!" Homer grunted.
"No!" Lisa cried holding on.
"Don't worry, honey. We can't afford this now, but when it's time for college, I promise my darling daughter can go to the finest school there is. In South Carolina." said Homer.
"Oh! I will not be a gamecock!" Lisa said annoyed while holding tight to the school bars.
"Hehehe! Cock..." Oscar being crude.
"Oscar!" Marge told him off.
Homer grunted pulling Lisa but she held onto the school gates tight.
"Um, how about I come round your house sometime Greta? If that's alright with your dad." said Bart as his mom called him.
"Sure. We play uno, I chase you with hose... it's all good..." said Rainer.
"Bart..."
"Well it looks like I have to go. See ya Greta." said Bart.
Homer was still pulling at Lisa.
"D'oh! She's using the human limpet! Where did she learn that?!" Homer groaned.
"Um... I might have taught her when she was two..." said Bart sheepishly.
Homer groaned annoyed.
"Mr Simpson you could seriously injure your daughter. May I suggest we speak inside my office..." said the head master.
"Look Duchess, I can't afford to send my kids here!" said Homer still trying to pull Lisa.
"Mr Simpson we do not put our concerns over money before our children's futures here..." said the head master.
Sometime later as the family left.
"Great Lisa, you got your place at expensive school! But now I have to get a second job and your brother has to go back in the attic!" Homer ranted.
"Hugo's not going back in the attic!" Marge and Oscar yelled at him.
Homer sighed and they all got in the car.
In the car everyone was annoyed at Homer.
Marge was annoyed because he still had the Olympic torch.
"Why are you still holding that?!" Give that back!"
Oscar was annoyed at him because he was being cruel to Hugo because he was being concerned about money now Lisa made him transfer her to Greta's fancy academy.
Lisa was glaring at Dad as she was insisting in being transferred to the nicer school. She would not be a gamecock.
Ansem the seeker of darkness then spoke.
"Without the darkness, how would we recognize the light?"
Bart winced. It exists now! Hehehehe!
"Come, open your heart."
"I preferred you when you were in Titanic." said Oscar.
Hugo groaned irked by Oscar randomness and obsession with Kingdom Hearts.
Hugo Victor Simpson pondered intently on the next logical course of action, and decided to watch the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy until Oscar advanced the plot.
"We're driving... we're driving... we're driving... Oh look! A hobo!" said Oscar.
"Homer give the Olympics back their torch!" Marge frowned.
"Oh those bashful hobbits and their hairy feet..." said Hugo watching The Fellowship of the Ring.
He wondered, whilst making a personal note to force the company higher-ups to stop preventing plot advancement.
Oscar was making silly faces ie sticking his tongue out and pulling at the sides of his mouth with his fingers.
"That damnable omnipotent wish-granting peasant has mildly inconvenienced me for the last time." Hugo seethed.
"I wish for an ear piercing..." Bart sighed.
Oscar gave him pierced ears.
"Stop doing that Oscar!" Marge yelled.
"Only Bart's happiness matters to me..." Oscar retorted.
The Simpsons huffed annoyed at him. Except Bart who grinned and high fives Oscar.
They hit traffic.
Homer groaned. They would be some time.
"Let's put the radio on." said Homer. He put the car radio on.
Allstar by Smash Mouth aka that song from Shrek played.
"Oh god! Shrek memes!" Homer cried.
The kids grimaced exasperated.
Plot 2
At home several days later or something. Marge was brushing Bart's hair into his dorky hair style for church.
"It's so cute you're going to a little girl's house!" said Marge. Bart frowned.
Oscar was laughing at his hair.
"Oscar stop laughing at Bart's hair." Marge sighed.
"But. His spikes! He looks ridiculous!" Oscar laughed hysterically.
"So bro, how many girlfriends is that now? Bart and Greta sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" Hugo sung.
"Quiet boy." Homer scolded him.
"Two after señorita psycho..." said Bart looking through his box of photographs of his girlfriends.
"Bart! Don't call Jessica that." Marge scolded him. "Look I know you don't like her after she got you in trouble but the last thing I want is for us to fall out with the Lovejoy's."
"Yeah, now before you go boy, here's some advice. Don't call girls rude nick names like tubby or boxcar. And always get receipts. It makes you look like a businessman!" said Homer.
Suddenly the house shook.
"What was that?!" Marge asked. They went outside to find a canyonero like vehicle pull up. Rainer Wolfcastle was driving.
"Wow! It's as big as our drive!" said Marge.
"What's the mileage?" Homer asked.
"One highway and no city." said Rainer.
Marge swooned. Rainer nodded.
Bart was soon inside the vehicle sitting far from Greta in the middle row. He was shy that's why. He also thought, "Wow, we could fit the whole family in here easily..."
"Bart, your little bow tie looks so cute." said Rainer in monotone.
Bart blushed. "Um thanks." That was just weird Rainer... "You don't sound as tough as you do in your movies..."
"Shut up or I will tear off your face and use it as a dish cloth!" Rainer put on his McBain voice.
Bart flinched and curled up in fear.
"Hahaha! I'm just kidding!" said Rainer.
They all laughed.
"Laughing time is over." said Rainer.
Rainer continued driving in his Cayanaro or monster truck type vehicle. Running over Huckleberry Hound and Top cat along the way.
Lordakia, more on him in season 14, a giant kaiju-esquire monster was rampaging around town. It roared.
"Atomic fury!" Oscar yelled, vaporising the monster with a huge ass energy beam from the sky.
Then the Black Knight from Lisa's Wedding, the Family Guy episode Mr. Saturday Knight and Monty Python and the Holy Grail returned. He drew a formidable black claymore. That's a very huge and heavy sword...
"A Black Knight!" said Oscar.
"There is no need for racism!" The Black Knight exclaimed politely whilst flinging itself towards Oscar with murderous intent.
Oscar in a blur went threw him and ended up behind the knight. The knight's arms were sliced off and fell to the floor. Oscar satisfied, sheathed his katana.
"Tis only a flesh wound." said the Black Knight.
Oscar frowned and vaporised him with an atomic beam of death from the sky.
"Can we get ice cream now?" Teddy, his living teddy bear creature asked while sniffing his crotch.
"Yes Teddy. We will." said Oscar.
Rainer's car.
"What in the name of Zenith City is happening back there?!" Bart winced. Um sheer and utter madness...
...
They arrived at Rainer's mansion. He drove over the gate. Yes over it...
Greta showed Bart around the house. There were giant things everywhere.
"These are all props from the incredible shrinking McBain." said Greta.
"Coooool! The q-tip McBain used to kill Ross Perot!" said Bart.
After he left the giant q-tip, Oscar looked about and picked it up.
"Oscar don't try sticking that in your ear..." Bart called after him.
Greta then showed them her bed. "What's your house like?"
"Eh... It's okay. My mattress is stuffed with hay..." said Bart.
Greta giggled. "Oh, you!"
"No, I'm serious! Ever since social services found out about my twin brother Hugo and made my parents look after him properly, they've had to make serious cutbacks! We can't afford proper mattresses!" said Bart.
Greta was embarrassed. "Anyhoo. You haven't seen Itchy and Scratchy until you've seen it on DVD!" said Greta.
"Wow... Jessica's family never let us watch Itchy and Scratchy..." said Bart.
They watched Scratchy at a circus on the sky swings. Itchy sliced off his hands and he fell screaming into the safety net and was sliced by it into cubes. An elephant ate them one by one.
"Greta look! That's my elephant Stampy!" said Bart.
"Wow! Really?!" said Greta.
"Why sure! Krusty owed me another favor so we brought Stampy to star on one of his performances! We decided he star in Itchy and Scratchy after he ate Mr Teeny..." said Bart.
"Let's hear the audio commentary!" said Greta. They watched the audio commentary which was just Scratchy talking about the recording in a green square until Itchy cut his head off with scissors.
Bart and Greta laughed hysterically. Unknown to Bart Greta sat closer to him.
"She loves you..." Oscar spoke in a raspy tone identical to Belt the sloth from The Croods.
Bart winced at him.
In Rainer's kitchen.
Rainer made himself a mass gainer protein shake. And probably ate four dozen eggs, until he was roughly the size of a baaaaaaarge!
Oscar left a cardboard cutout of Senator Mendoza. The bad guy from the McBain movies.
"MENDOZAAAAAAAAAAA!" Rainer screamed.
In the main lounge Greta sighed.
Oscar went out to the hallway and admired the chandeliers. Then he grimaced baffled by a painting of what appeared to be a much older Rainer dressed as a lady carrying a machine gun.
"That's my Großmutter." said Rainer. (His grandmother)
"Okay..." said Oscar.
He teleported himself to Phineas Q Butterfats. Because he promised Teddy some ice cream.
Oscar ordered a large monstrosity of a sundae with bananas sicking out of it.
Teddy ordered honeycomb flavoured ice cream. Bears like honey.
We cut back to the Wolfcastle mansion.
"I went to that ice cream parlour once on my birthday... oh and when I wooed the cleaner into giving me a bigger sundae for free. Why do you keep going there...?" Bart sighed.
"I like ice cream..." said Oscar eating ice cream.
Rainer's mansion. Rainer made iced tea.
"Ice to see you..." he made a terrible pun.
"Ugh... "Thanks Dad..." said Greta Wolfcastle.
Rainer smiled being a polite host.
...
The Simpsons had Rainer Wolfcastle and Greta around for dinner. Marge made sausages.
"I made sausages Rainer but I didn't know what you like so I don't know what organ meat is in each intestinal casing." said Marge.
Lisa was horrified. "Bratwurst, sourbrotten... Moooom! Haven't you got anything vegetarian?!" Um you have some green stuff on your plate Lisa.
"Sorry dear." said Marge.
"Hohoho! I see your daughter is a whale-hugging, save-the-trees moon maiden!" Rainer chuckled.
"Yeah she's a real- Uh oh! She's looking at us! Act natural!" said Homer but Lisa glared at them.
Greta sat closer to Bart and was putting her hand on his lap and then holding his hand. Eeeeew!
"What are you doing?" Bart asked. She smiled at him. "Ooooh! One two three four. I declare a thumb war!"
They had a thumb war.
"Hey! That was a fast count!" Bart whined. They went again.
Rainer was talking to a slice of pie. "Remember when I said I would eat you last? I lied..." he ate the piece of pie.
"He's quoting Arnold Schwarzenegger..." Oscar whispered to the fourth wall.
"I like pie!" Teddy, his living teddy bear yelled with joy before eating a slice of pie.
Meanwhile the Olympics finally got their torch back.
"We've recovered the flame!" said a guy.
(Gasp) "It's beautiful." said someone else working for the Olympics.
"Yoink!" Oscar being annoying took it again.
"Awwwww!" The Olympics people groaned.
At dinner.
"I can't believe your dad's McBain..." said Bart in awe to Greta.
"I've played many characters. McBain, Officer Nick Vengeance, Sergeant Murder, (Oscar screamed) and I was a voice on the Frasier." said Rainer Wolfcastle.
"So was Bart's arch nemesis Sideshow Bob." said Oscar.
Bart winced.
"Here have some bratwurst, brat..." said Homer to Oscar coldly. He gave him some bratwurst.
Oscar glared at him.
"Oh do help yourselves to the German potato salad that took me three days to make." said Rainer.
Bart groaned. "Stop mentioning that gag from Spongebob..."
"More blatwurst please." said Ace. (Blatwurst is a blood sausage).
Lisa looked unnerved as he extended his fangs.
"You don't have to be enjoying this ritual slaughter of animals just because you're a vampire and feed on blood, Ace..." Lisa frowned.
Ace hissed at her, baring his fangs.
There was also pumpernickel.
"Gahahahaha! Pumpernickel..." Oscar laughed.
And Wiener schnitzel.
Oscar chuckled.
"Yeah we get it. The food has funny names..." Bart sighed.
Greta was giving him the bedroom eyes look.
Oscar focused on eating his food as Teddy kept helping himself to food from his plate.
"That's really unhygienic... your teddy bear cub thing was licking the plate..." Hugo groaned.
...
The next day Bart visits Greta again. She skips to her front door like when Lisa was doing that stupid "Hi everybody!" Skip in Mother Simpson.
("Narrator it's not a stupid skip!" Lisa yelled.)
"Hi Bart." Greta greeted him.
However Milhouse was there. "Wassssssuuuuuup!" He quoted the Budweiser adverts...
"Milhouse! Stop quoting things!" Bart sighed.
"Oh I see you bought a friend..." said Greta.
"Yeah, he's my best friend Milhouse. For geographical convenience really." said Bart.
"I'm wearing my swimming trunks under my clothes!" said Milhouse.
"Do you want to go swimming..." Greta sighed. Um yeah that's a bit rude wanting to immediately make use of someone's pool...
"Yeah but you have to watch me dive!" said Milhouse.
"Fine..." said Greta.
"Promise..." Milhouse asked.
"Just go in the pool!" Bart got annoyed with him.
Milhouse took off his clothes except his swimming trunks and ran laughing into Greta's house and there was a splash as he dived into a pool somewhere.
"He'll sleep tonight..." Bart smirked.
Greta sighed.
Homer took Rainer to Moe's.
"Hello, gentlemen. Would you care to meet my new best friend? Rainier Wolfcastle?" said Homer.
"Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!" Carl gasped.
"Hey, I've been using that ab roller you endorse, but I haven't gotten any results." said Lenny with a flat chest.
"Right, because you've been using it backward." said Rainer. Lenny had chest muscles on his back...
"That's just freaky..." said Oscar.
Anyway they all were massive fan boys constantly asking Rainer questions.
Plot 3
At Moe's.
Homer's friends unfortunately asked him dumb questions.
"Ugh! This is a job for my body double!" said Rainer. He went out and a double came in. We can tell because he has a different voice.
"Hey Rainer, people say I'm a double of Macauley Caukin. Is that true? Aaaaaaagh!" Moe asked before doing a Kevin McCallister scream.
"Um no." said Homer.
Then Rainer took Homer, Bart and Greta to a basketball game where they gave out free lotion!
"Thanks for the seats Rainer!" said Homer.
"I just want to make my daughter happy." said Rainer Wolfcastle. "Plus you eat all the pretzels I drop."
Homer was eating pretzels.
Greta then asked Bart to a school dance at posh school. "It's not fun but you coukd make it fun." said Greta.
Bart was too busy watching the game.
Their team scored so they all cheered.
Bart in canon acts like a douche and breaks Greta's heart. Here their relationship lasts a bit longer.
"I don't get this game... it's boring..." said Oscar drinking a soda.
"You think anything that doesn't involve shooting aliens boring..." Milhouse sighed.
"Defense! Defense! Defense! Defense! Defense!" Homer cheered.
(ALL CHEERING)
"Ouch! I sat on something sharp! Oh, that's just Lara Flynn Boyle." said Homer sitting on a famous lady. (LAUGHING) "I have a Boyle on my ass!"
Oscar cracked up laughing.
"That is not funny!" Bart snapped.
...
At School Skinner explained to Willie that he was performing at Floppy's as a comic but he didn't want any students to know.
"I won't tell if you put me on the guest list." said Willie.
"Okay. Plus one?" Skinner asked.
"Ach... neigh..." Willie sighed.
However Bart and Milhouse were listening.
Bart was in a dilemma. He really wanted to go to tease Skinner but promised he'd take Greta to the school dance at her school.
"I just hope the audience is kind because my material is weak and I have that bladder thing." said Skinner.
"Ho boy! Forget Greta! This is the best thing to happen to me since chocolate milk!" said Bart.
"They have chocolate milk now?" asked Milhouse.
However Oscar had something more juicy that meant Bart had to go to the dance with Greta. "Bart remember how I rewrote this story so your sister got to go to her dream school?"
"Yes my Dad and Mom are still arguing about sending Hugo back to the attic..." said Bart.
"Well Lisa will be the door girl! She'll be a sitting duck for pranks!" Oscar laughed.
"Okay... I suppose it would be rather mean of me to dump Greta." said Bart.
He went to Springfield Preparatory school for their dance. All the posh kids were there Bart realized this would be an absolute goldmine for pranking, plus making Greta happy was sort of more important.
"Thanks for taking me to the dance Bart." said Greta.
"Now you said I could make this stuffy old dance fun so let me do my magic babe." said Bart. He got out his Lil bastard prank kit.
"Okay Bart." Greta kisses him. "But I want one romantic dance."
Bart blushed. "What am I doing? I could be ruining Skinner's stupid comedy night!" He thought to himself. Then he decided to get to pranking everyone with paint balloons.
"Baaart!" Lisa yelled at him for screwing up the dance and starting fights.
Bart laughed.
Then as promised he danced with Greta. However; she tried to kiss him on the lips.
Bart shied away.
"What's wrong Bart? Don't you like me?" Greta asked.
"Of course I do! It's just... I'm really immature for my age when it comes to love! I still believe in cooties! I even still sleep with a night light on! I'm no man... I'm just a kid still..." said Bart.
"Bart... I don't care about you being this handsome man... I like you whoever you are! If you don't like kissing, that's okay!" said Greta. They held hands.
Lisa was jealous.
"For once I'd prefer if he led her on..."
...
At Moe's.
"Oh! Oh! I have a question!" Lenny and the guys were still asking annoying questions.
"Oh you fans I adore you but this is annoying... time to call my stunt double." Rainer sighed.
A clone of Rainer arrived. However he had a vastly different accent.
"Hey Rainer." Moe asked the stunt double. "People say I'm a double for Macaulay Caukin. Aaaaaaaagh!" He did the Kevin from Home Alone scream.
Oscar laughed hysterically.
Homer and Rainer went off somewhere.
"Rainer where are we going?" Homer asked.
"Homer, do you honestly think a big shot celebrity such as myself drinks in such a puny bar? Let me show you where I drink." said Rainer.
They went to a beer hall where it is always Oktoberfest.
"This place is great!" said Homer.
"Ja. But it is members only. Keeps out the riff raff..." said Rainer drinking from those metal beer cups with lids.
Meanwhile Bart was pranking Jack, or Jackington. But he felt like he was missing out on something. Then Jimbo called him.
"Hey Bart! What gives? Skinner is trying to do improv at Floppy's and no one is heckling him!" said Jimbo.
"Sorry Jimbo. I have a girlfriend now." said Bart.
"Ha! Bart's gone soft!" Jimbo laughed.
"Bart has a girlfriend?! That's so gay..." said Dolph.
"How is Bart dating a girl, gay? If anything you three guys hanging about all the time is gay..." said Oscar wherever Jimbo, Dolph and Kearney were.
"Shaddup..." said Jimbo.
...
At Springfield Preparatory School.
Lisa sighing happily went to her classes.
She went to French class. Springfield Elementary being low on funds or Skinner tight fisted, had Willie teach French. He was just racist and offensive going on about Cheese Eating Surrender Monkeys.
"Bonjour! Ya cheese eating surrender monkeys!" said Willie.
East Springfield Elementary had a French teacher but was missing one of its second grade home room teachers.
Lisa sat in French class.
Jack insisted upon being called Jackington.
James William Bottomtooth the IV, a boy with enormous lower jaws made a sort of groan as talking.
A posh kid went "Yes, yes. How do you dooooooo?"
Another boy made a sound like a motorbike.
Lisa winced.
Greta shrugged.
"I'm referencing Family Guy..." said Oscar.
Elsewhere Homer was chased by the Olympics people for taking the torch earlier.
"Homer give us back the torch..." the Olympics people whined.
"Never! Not till you return the schedule of my favourite programmes!" Homer yelled.
...
The Simpsons house. Kitchen.
Oscar came in jumping about eagerly.
"Bumpkin settle down. Have you had too much sugar today? Or not enough? I forget how your strain of diabetes works." said Marge.
'Do you still have any leftover German food from when Rainer and Greta came to dinner." Oscar asked.
"Yes. I can't get the boys to eat it and Lisa won't as she's vegetarian." said Marge.
"Well you're in luck as I have invited Uter over." said Oscar.
Uter, the fat German kid at school arrived.
"Guten tag!" said Uter.
Marge sighed.
"Bumpkin I'd prefer if you asked me first before bringing friends rounds." Marge sighed.
But Uter was there to stay for a while.
The celebrity chef from the first act was there on his space hopper.
"So Mr Puck. What are you making today?" Marge asked Wolfgang Puck.
"Rice Krispy squares." said Wolfgang Puck. Oscar was eating one.
Marge was waiting for some sort of twist. He's a gourmet chef. If he was just making ordinary Rice Krispy squares that would be embarrassing considering what he is capable of. So there's a twist. "Infused with wasabi." He continued.
Oscar's face turned bright red and he sweated. He then screamed with steam coming out of his ears and breathing fire from the spicy wasabi.
Uter chased him round the kitchen trying to offer him a large jug of fresh cold water to sooth him.
"And with a portobello mushroom glaze." said Wolfgang Puck.
"Mmmmmmm! Mushroomy..." Oscar sighed exhausted from running about screaming with his mouth on fire.
"Oh I put M&Ms on mine." said Marge.
"Um yes. That's why I'm the professional chef here and you're not..." said Wolfgang Puck clearly not impressed.
...
The News was on. The Simpsons all hurry in to watch it.
All it was about was Mayor West saying stupid things again.
"The only thing we have to fear is gigantic, man-eating spiders!" said Mayor West.
"Cooooooool!" said Oscar.
The Simpsons groan.
"I want Quimby back..." Bart groaned.
Then there were bulldog men with British accents!
"Ello, 'ello, 'ello! Who's crike for a stick in the pudding?"
Bart winced exasperated.
Then Oscar destroyed them instantly with lasers from his eyes!
"Okay.., let's find something for Oscar to do..." Bart sighed.
That night Bart came in late. Lisa came down stairs wondering why a ten year old was coming in at that time. She had hair curlers in her hair.
"And where have you been?" Lisa muttered.
"Aaaaaaaagh! Hair curlers! Now all she needs is a rolling pin and she's a fish wife!" Oscar screamed.
Lisa rolled her eyes.
Apparently Bart was leading Greta on.
"Are you nuts?! Do you know who her father is?! McBain!"
"Okay! Okay! I won't blow her off again... Oh! Grand Theft Auto! Hehehe!" Bart sighed but a video game Oscar had soon distracted him.
Lisa sighed.
Homer then came in late.
"And where have you been?" Lisa asked annoyed.
"Um a cockfight." said Homer.
Oscar laughed hysterically.
"Cock..." He said chuckling.
Lisa frowned at Oscar.
Plot 4
The next day Bart took Greta to Phineas Q Butterfat's ice cream parlour. One of their newer parlours. Not the original one with Marge's head on top.
"Please take Oscar!" Marge said despairing.
"Mom I'm going on a date! Why?" Bart groaned.
"FLY! BE FREE!" Robin Williams as Mork threw an egg up into the air. It fell and broke on the floor, leaving a mess.
Bart winced exasperated. "Okay... okay... come on Oz we're going to the ice cream parlour..." Bart sighed.
At the ice cream parlour in canon Bart was being mean and made Greta cry by dumping her.
In fanon though she cried over the drama between her mother and father. In the opening act Rainer explained her mother had custody of her after six. Meaning they obviously don't get along as husband and wife...
Elsewhere Wiggum was crying while eating ice cream at another table.
Bart rolled his eyes.
"Bart this isn't very romantic watching your friend give himself brain freeze repeatedly." said Greta.
Oscar ate a spoonful of ice cream. Then screamed because he had brain freeze. He ate more ice cream then screamed again.
Billy and Fred Fredburger were eating ice cream and screaming too.
"Actually I only eat frozen yogurt. There's less calories in it..." said Billy.
Wiggum was still crying.
"Oooooh! Lou please don't leave the force!"
"The force Lou! The foooooorce!" said Obi Wan Kenobi.
Bart winced.
Then Rainer Wolfcastle arrived. "Come my little Gretchen. You mother insists I bring you to her by 18 hundred hours without delay. Let's get to da choppa..."
"Well see you soon Bart." said Greta.
"Let me dump her already!" Bart groaned.
No do you want that walking Arnold parody to squeeze your puny neck?! You are a choir boy! A choir boy!
Bart sighed.
Trivia Greta is Rainer's daughter.