A/N: Watched the movie finally. It's sad to see the show's been cancelled but we got the movie to at least tie some things up. I think it would be interesting, if by some miracle we got another movie or the show got uncancelled, to explore a time jump where everybody's older, which I kind of show here and in my other story. This is what I kind of did here.
You don't have to read the other fanfic I made 5(?) years ago to understand this. Just know: Monarch and Dr. Mrs. have a son named Kelly, who, after a mishap with a Time Machine, eventually becomes a level one archer. That's about it, but please let me know if anything's confusing.
Venture Brothers: Family Dysfunctions
"They're late."
Sheila looks at the time on her phone: it reads 5:09; they were supposed to start at five. An eager crowd of giddy girls gather near the rendezvous spot–a small black curtain covering a small stage in a nearly abandoned mall. Shop goers, minus a few stragglers, move past it with little regard. Level one archings are no more than D-list celebrities holding meet and greets at some unknown convention, but they're here to be supportive.
Her husband waves it off. "They're always late."
"They're probably just polishing up a few things," says Gary, fiddling with the camcorder.
"Yeah, you know how Kelly is," agrees Monarch. "Especially with this..." He is his father's son when it comes to arching.
The camcorder light changes from green to red and Gary's focus turns to the empty stage. The black curtain opens and the girls all squeal. But their excitement fades when Kelly and Dagwood roll into view a few moments later, engaging in a heated brawl. Mall goers stop and gather to capture the moment on their phones. Sheila rushes onto the stage as Dagwood throws a ferocious punch to Kelly's face. Kelly stumbles, then retaliates by slamming Dagwood's head onto the stage floor. The young hero, the kid they are supposed to be arching, stands meekly off to the side, watching the Delinquent Duo fight.
"Fuck you," Kelly shouts as his mother grabs him. Blood oozes from his nose.
"What's happening here?" she asks through their arguing. She tries to hold her son back, but he pushes her away and attacks again.
Dagwood kicks him away and sits up, rubbing his head. "It's not my fault you're in love with me!" snarls Dagwood.
It goes quiet. Kelly straightens, then turns to the crowd, embarrassed. An awkward pause passes. He stomps away. Sheila's attention turns to Gary, who lets the camera follow Kelly as he exits.
"That's the baboon in him," comments Monarch. But he shrinks when he notices his wife's glare.
She follows him out into the parking lot where he stands waiting by the Monarch-mobile. "Sweetie, what happened?"
"Nothing." He sniffles, then wipes the blood from his nose. It smears on his upper lip.
She wipes his face with her handkerchief. "Well, something must've happened. You were at each other's throats," she says gently.
He rolls his eyes, pulling away at her touch like the stubborn teenager he is. "Can we just go?"
Monarch and Gary appear, the camera still rolling. "You can't go home. You have to get back in there and finish arching."
Monarch unlocks the car. "Eh, maybe not. Dagwood and the crazed fangirls just went into Hot Topic."
"I'm quitting, anyway," Kelly says softly, opening the door.
" Quitting ? Kelly… Milkweed—would you turn that stupid camera off, Gary! It's right in his face." Gary obeys; Sheila sighs. "Get in the car. Everyone."
Venture taps the pen on the blank sheet of paper in front of him. "I've got it. A place where anyone can look up anything at any time. Need to know if avocado is a fruit or vegetable at two in the morning? gives you answers in a second!"
"Love the idea," says Pete White sarcastically. "Loved it even more when Google invented it in the '90s! We need something original here."
"What is it, anyway?" asks Billy Quizboy.
Pete turns to him. "What is what?"
"An avocado. Is it a fruit or a vegetable?"
"It is so obviously a vegetable."
"I was thinking fruit."
"Google it."
Venture clears his throat to get the attention back on himself. "Okay. How about this: waterproof toasters." An alarm sounds and Venture rubs his temple, feeling another headache forming. Hatred bursts through the lab doors in a panic. "What is it this time? Did Hank lose another limb again?"
"A mysterious blue box arrived in the lobby at approximately fifteen hundred, Doc," he explains.
"So? It's probably the Keurig I ordered," he says offhandedly. He writes 'waterproof toaster' down on his paper.
"So, it might be a bomb! We gotta get to the panic room," continues Hatred.
Venture stands. "Fine, whatever."
The alarm stops. Brock enters casually, carrying the mysterious blue box. "False alarm," he announces. "It's not a bomb."
"Well, what is it, then?"
"Don't know," says Brock, handing the box over to Venture. "But it's addressed to you."
"See? It is my Keurig."
He opens it and a bright blue light begins flashing. His father's face appears, distorted. "Rusty Venture," he calls in an almost robotic voice.
"Dad?"
"Rusty Venture!" He smiles as his head twirls. "Come find me, Rusty!"
A strange code flashes below him. "Come find me."
Venture groans. "What the Hell is this?"
"I don't know," says Brock in a cautious tone. He takes the blue box and examines it more thoroughly.
Pete moves to type the code into the computer. An outdated website appears. "Looks like an invitation to something," notes Billy.
They gather around the computer. "To what?"
"Not sure," says Pete. "A scavenger hunt maybe. The text is kind of cryptic."
Venture touches his temple, his head now throbbing. "I swear if this is another trick from Monarch. I can't deal with another incident like the one with the Time Machine."
The car ride home is spent in brooding silence. First, he wants to be in the Guild— insists so much that he takes daddy's number two on a joy ride back in time. Now, he wants to quit. After everything he's been through! Over what? Some stupid fight with his friend… or otherwise ? God, he loves his son but sometimes he's a pain in the ass. Every thirteen year old needs at least one good ass kicking to put an end to their self-obsession.
He pulls into the driveway of their home. They all exit and head for the front door. Thunder rumbles in the distance. A storm's coming. "Look, you're upset—we get it," begins his wife. "But you're not quitting arching."
Kelly crosses his arms and turns away as Monarch fits the key in the doorknob. "It's not fair," he mumbles.
"Sometimes life isn't fair, sweetie," she says as the Monarch unlocks the front door. Kelly pushes past them and enters. She presses forward as Kelly moves up the stairs. "And, um, sometimes… feelings aren't reciprocated like you want them to."
She looks to her husband for help. He shrinks. "We're doing this now?" He thought they had at least another year or two. He's still just a kid.
His wife glares, then turns back to their son. "What I'm trying to say here is—sweetie, we… uh, well, we already know ."
Kelly turns back to them, his blue eyes a blazing fire. "You know?"
"Eh, this seems like a family thing—not that I'm not, like, family. I mean, dude, you're totally, like, my nephew. But I just think it'd be better if I.. if I, um… wasn't here for this," Twenty-one trails off. He points to the study. Outside, Monarch can now hear the rain fall. "I'll just… hang in the lair for a bit. Let you guys, um, talk."
He flees and Kelly steps forward, his eyes only on his mother. "You knew about this and you didn't think to tell me? How long have you known?"
"Since you insisted on wearing your mother's pearls and stilettos to daycare," says Monarch casually. It was cute; the picture sits proudly on Sheila's vanity.
"Honey, we were waiting for you to come to us," continues Sheila gently. "We wanted you to feel comfortable enough in your own body before—"
"Huh?" He shakes his head, not understanding. "What are you guys talking about?"
Monarch treads carefully. "We're talking about you being—"
His wife stops him quickly. "Hold on. What are you talking about?"
"Phantom Limb being made Sovereign."
Monarch turns to his wife for clarification, but she looks just as confused as him, though with an added flair of fury. "What do you mean Phantom Limbs's the Sovereign? No one's the Sovereign. It's a Sovereignless Guild. For right now, at least."
"There was a vote at Meteor Majeure yesterday," says Kelly. "He's the new Sovereign. That's what the fight was about."
"There wasn't a meeting on the… I think I would know if they—" But she stops and pulls out her phone. "There's nothing here about… why would they hold a Guild meeting without…" She moves away from them, searching on her phone for the answer.
"What did you guys think I was talking about?" questions Kelly after a moment.
Monarch rubs the back of his neck nervously. "Oh, um, the Phantom Limb thing… obviously." A knock on the front door saves the day, and he hurries to answer it.
She sits in the darkened room with the other Guild members in silhouette form surrounding her. She never felt so small; she never felt so out of synch with them. "Look, Dr. Mrs. The Monarch, we were going to inform you of the change, but, as you know, only official members have a say in this matter…"
"What do you mean? I am an official member!"
"Guild rules clearly state becoming an official member of the Council of Thirteen requires at least—"
"—ten years on the council. Yeah, I wrote the damn thing," she says. "But… those rules were made when there were just six of us."
"And the remaining five have put in their votes."
"The remaining five are a bunch of delusional old men on their deathbeds—I'm sorry, but that's the truth."
"Phantom Limb is the most qualified member out of all of us, councilwoman. And the OSI has been pressuring us to pick our leader for some time now."
"Pookums?" she hears her husband call in the distance.
"I just wish I didn't have to hear it from my son, of all people," she continues, ignoring her husband's call. He knows better than to interrupt her when she's in a meeting, no matter how informal. "He got into this big fight with Dagwood."
"The Delinquent Duo feud was… unfortunate," the voice of Phantom Limb admits. She rolls her eyes. "Dagwood should've kept his mouth shut until the appropriate memos could be sent out. And for that, I do apologize."
"Honey—" Monarch calls again, knocking frantically.
"I have to go," Sheila tells the Guild. "But I request an emergency council meeting to discuss these sudden changes."
"Very well," agrees Phantom Limb. She holds back the scoff and shuts off her computer.
Monarch knocks again. She opens the door. "What?" she says, a bit harsher than she intends.
"There was this weird package at the front door, so we brought it in," he explains nervously as he leads her into the study. "It started glowing and now Jonas Venture's head is asking me to find him…"
A/N: Thank you so much for reading. Hope you liked it!