Dumb Dumbs and Dragons III Another episode of Lisa's Table Top RPs, Oscar confusing fantasy with reality and that Richard O'Brian from Crystal Maze was in the Dungeons and Dragons movie! Oh and blackface Drows.
Also Bart, Lisa and Hugo have to list some rules each RP based on incidents involving Oscar to bar him from doing things such as spending all the party's gold on marbles etc.
Plot
The chalkboard gag is "Dungeons and Dragons is not cool."
The couch gag is the Simpsons dressed as fantasy characters ie wizards/witches, elven archers, dwarves etc.
The episode opens with Lisa, Martin, Milhouse, Dolph, Ralph and Oscar playing Vikings and vampires. A table top RPG. They were playing in the living room with the DM card and a scale diorama of the dungeon on the rug.
"Okay it's our Wizard, Oscar's turn to attack the troll king." said Lisa.
Oscar threw a successful dice roll. Um D20 or something.
"Good, Oz that means your attack will hit."
"I cast magic missile!" Oscar declared.
"Oz no! It's not a bright idea to cast such a destructive spell inside such a confined space..." Lisa sighed.
"Magic Missile!" Oscar insisted.
"Fine... The explosion causes a cave in, burying everyone alive... you happy now?!" Lisa yelled.
"I'm never happy..." Oscar sighed.
Lisa's nerd troupe sighed as they had to start a new adventure.
Homer came in holding a six pack of beer and snacks.
"Okay sweetie, Daddy wants to watch sports. Move your wiener game downstairs or upstairs or anywhere except here." said Homer.
"Homer! Stop insulting your kids' hobbies! I happen to not mind Lisa's hobbies, it's still more wholesome than Bart's." said Marge scolding Homer.
Bart was up to no good again. Probably out causing destructive pranks.
He had purchased a fake driving license, this is canon he um can drive... Bart was driving about with KBBL with Bill and Marty playing on the radio.
"Won't you marry me, Bill? I got the wedding gown bill. Because weddings are nice." Bill and Marty were doing some sort of comedy sketch.
(GROANS) Bart groaned. He felt the urge to change the radio station.
"That was The 5th Dimension with Weddings are Nice." Mmmmmm... multi dimensional weddings...
"You know what else is nice, Marty?" Bill asked.
"What's that, Bill?" asked Marty.
"The KBBL Prize Posse!" They were holding another competition to win money.
"Damn dirty ape!" A man on the radio yelled as a sound effect from the wacky sound effects. Right that's it! Planet of the Apes time Oz!
"You maniacs!" Oscar screamed popping out from somewhere. He was sat on the back seats of Bart's car.
Bart groaned exasperated.
"Hey the radio started it." said Oscar defending himself.
...
The basement of the Simpsons house.
Lisa turned on the light. Rats scurried about.
She then set up chairs around the pool table and set up the equipment needed for a table top RPG.
"Okay everyone here?" She asked.
"We're waiting for Oscar." said Martin.
Oscar arrived panting. "Sorry I was summoned by an unexpected Planet of the Apes reference and had to goof off." said Oscar.
Lisa sighed. "Take a seat Oz. This quest is called The Crimson Throne." She explained the instance or generated adventure for the RP. "Oh and some ground rules Oz, based on certain incidents the last few times we played Vikings and Vampires or Vampires and Vikings."
Oscar sighed and groaned.
"Number one. Oscar cannot base characters off the Who's drummer Keith Moon." Lisa explained.
Oscar groaned. Apparently he likes the Who.
"A one man band is not an appropriate bard instrument." Lisa read some rules wrote especially because of Oscar doing things in the RPGs.
Oscar laughed. Apparently when it was his turn to play as the Bard, he chose a one man band as his instrument.
"Mayonnaise is not an instrument either." Hugo read out a rule.
Patrick Star whined.
Oscar smirked.
"There is no Gnomish god of heavy artillery." Lisa continued. I don't want to know what incident involved gnomes and heavy artillery. Probably blowing them up with mortars.
"Synchronised panicking is not a proper battle plan." Lisa continued.
"He's also not allowed to go Leroy Jenkins while on Neverquest or any other MMORPG when we're raiding a dungeon together." said Hugo.
"Lerooooooy Jenkiiiiiiins!" Oscar yelled.
"My point exactly." Hugo sighed.
"Oscar must understand what is imaginary and what is reality." Lisa read a rule.
"I'm off to slay the werewolf of goblin mountain! Gahahahaha!" Oscar was wearing a cooking pan on his head and brandishing a wooden sword.
Hugo grimaced exasperated.
"Oscar is not allowed to use psychic powers to do the dishes." Lisa sighed.
In the kitchen one afternoon Oscar was asked to clean the dishes or rinse them before putting them in the dishwasher.
"Oscar can you wash the dishes please?" Marge asked.
He used telekinesis to carry them about with psychic energy as they floated about. Presumably he broke a few plates hence the need for this rule.
Oscar sighed.
...
Bart is driving his car about. He stops at Jurkle's house. Jurkle was a Jewish kid in third grade Oscar hung out with. Thankfully his friends weren't as deranged as him.
"Wanna ride?" Bart asked.
"Hey you cannot drive! You're only ten years old!" said Jurkle.
"This fake ID says I can drive. Now do you wanna ride or not?" Bart sighed holding his fake ID.
"Okay but I get car sick and are these seats leather? I'm allergic to leather!" Jurkle whined about things.
Bart rolled his eyes.
Bart spent the car journey talking about that time he drove Martin, Milhouse and Nelson to Winnipeg to see the sun sphere and they got stranded.
At home Homer watched Married With Children.
"No Peg." said Al. He flushed the toilet in the living room.
An audience laughed.
Homer chuckled.
Later after Jurkle had taken a short nap.
"Oh! We've arrived in the vast cornfields of Canada." said Jurkle.
People emerged from the corn. They included Lenny and Mrs Krabappel. Jurkle noticed she had gone missing for a month.
"Please Bart! Take us back home!" Lenny begged.
Bart's eyes glowed green as an eerie sound played.
"You have angered me Lenny by growling dumb flowers. And Mrs Krabappel. You gave me detention for turning Martin's head into a pineapple..." Bart rasped as they must have angered him enough to use his Treehouse of Horror II powers again.
Bart left the citizens of Springfield he banished to the cornfield of no return.
Bart fiddled with the radio until it was on a station he liked. First KBBL was one. Bill and Marty were still waiting for a caller to say the catchphrase to win forty dollars.
"We're still waiting people!" said Bill.
Bart changed stations. Dr Demento was laughing maniacally. Bart screamed and changed the station.
"Bart focus on the road!" Jurkle whined.
Bart sighed. He pulled up outside Nelson's shack.
"Nelson wanna ride?"
"Okay but don't get us stranded in Winnipeg again..." Nelson sighed.
It wasn't long before Nelson caused trouble. He hit Jurkle.
"Ow!"
"Punch buggy green!" He was doing that game where you hit someone every time you see a particular car.
"Ow! Bart he hit me!" Jurkle whined.
Bart suddenly stopped the car sharply. "If you two can't keep your hands to yourselves I'm turning this car round right now and you're both going straight home!" He bellowed like an angry father.
"We'll be good!" Nelson said flinching.
...
The basement.
Lisa, Martin, Ralph, Milhouse, Dolph and Oscar were playing an RP.
"In the dank ruins of castle McButt we come across the once king Booger McButt, Aka my obnoxious brother Bart represented by this picture of him sitting crossing his arms and looking angry at someone." said Lisa.
Oscar laughed. "Booger McButt..."
Bart was soon driving about again.
"Bart can we stop for ice cream?" Jurkle asked.
"No." Bart said annoyed.
"Bart can we pick up that hitchhiker?" Nelson asked.
"No!" Bart yelled.
"Geez! Take a chill pill!" Nelson sulked.
Back in the basement.
"Okay so how do we respond to the now half crazed former bratty monarch Booger McButt?" Lisa asked her friends as they RPed. "May I remind Oscar that no we can't rob him of all his valuables and treasure because he doesn't have any. Some kobolds already robbed him blind a few weeks ago." said Lisa.
"Pee on him!" Oscar declared.
"Eeeeeew! Oz even I think that's going too far!" said Lisa.
"Ask him if he can help us with our quest to find the Crimson Throne?" Martin asked.
"Good idea Martin." said Lisa as a Druid.
She decides how he will respond.
"Oh unfortunately the crazed former king can't help us as he jabbers. Amongst his spew of gibberish we all make out him demanding we "Eat his shorts."
"Okay, Oscar the sorcerer will eat thine shorts King Booger McButt." saud Oscar.
"Rule 56. Oscar may not agree to eat anyone's shorts." Lisa sighed making up more boring rules.
"Dang it!" Oscar groaned.
Elsewhere. Xilus of the thieves guild. Apparently house burglars and shoplifters used to have guilds... Anyhoo, Xilus was tormenting the heroes in the Aztec Zone with puzzle games to obtain small crystals.
"Yes we get it... Richard O'Brian from Crystal Maze was in Dungeons and Dragons the movie..." Hugo sighed.
Tom Baker as the elf or half elf kept offering everyone jelly babies.
"Would you care for a jelly baby?"
Anyway the Dwarf picked a physical game so Xilus lead them across the film set of a jungle Aztec ruins to one of many doors containing small puzzle rooms...
Elsewhere Michael Stipes of R.E.M ate Tofu.
"Mmmmmmm! Curds..." said Michael Stipes.
"Yeah later this afternoon I'm having vegetarian lunch with Michael Stipes of R.E.M and Grogre the Ogre." said Lisa.
"Yes but right now we are in these dank ruins with King Booger McButt and a fruit hat dancer!" said Oscar.
In their imagination of the story of the RP, a fruit hat Brazilian dancer was dancing to Carmen Miranda.
Lisa the druid grimaced and with a wave of her staff the fruit hat dancer vanished.
...
Elsewhere. Bart picked up Ralph from the arcade from the Season 13 DVD menu. He had won lots of tickets and toys.
Bart sighed as he had toys with him.
Then Spot the giraffe and Mr Ink the squid made godless unholy love!
"Ay carumba!" Bart yelled.
"Bart take me to yours. I am late for Lisa's RP session." said Ralph as his giraffe and Squid teddies were um making out in the back of the car.
Bart sighed. "Why and how did you walk out of a geek fest D&D session to go to the arcade..."
"I dunno. My cat's breath smells like cat food." said Ralph.
"I was wondering where Ralph our knight hero got to..." said Lisa.
"Can we progress with the story of the Crimson Throne please..." Oscar sighed.
Plot 2
Oscar took a break to drink a can of Worcester sauce flavoured soda that started existing during season five when Homer went to college.
"Okay Oscar here are some more rules sadly we've had to make because of your zany antics... it's either that or we kick you out like we did Bart. And I don't want to kick you out." said Lisa.
Oscar sighed while drinking his Worcester sauce flavour soda.
"Can this wait? Kang the alien's Mom is making chilli." said Oscar.
We cut to the Simpsons kitchen. A middle aged Rigellian female was cooking chilli.
"Foolish Earthlings! Mama Kang loves chilli!" said Kang's mom. This is canon!
"Mother why are you cooking in this Earthling kitchen?" Kang sighed.
We cut back to the basement.
"No sit down this is important Oz. Lest we end up with crass mouthed alcoholic robots in the times of Ancient Rome or Mongolians from the Genghis Khan era in a Space Opera RP..." Lisa sighed.
"Now come on! You found the Genghis Khan warriors on the spaceship hilarious..." Oscar pouted.
"Put a sock in it twerp! The DM has to make these new rules because you keep goofing off!" said Dolph.
"You put a sock in it Dolpha. Omg! Dolpha Dolpha! Dolphaaaa!" Oscar retorted then started squealing about dolphins or Dolphas again.
Lisa sighed.
Elsewhere Homer ate loads of snacks.
Marge sighed.
In the basement.
Lisa managed to calm Oscar down and read some more funny rules that had to be set because of funny things Oscar did during their RP sessions.
"How to serve Dragons is not a cookbook."
In an RP session in the days of Yore and knights etc, Oscar flinched as he had just upset Dragon Irreep and Zagon and Toothless from How To Train Your Dragon, by having a cookbook on how to cook dragons. Ironically they roasted him with their fire breath.
"Would you prefer original recipe or extra crispy?" Oscar groaned before collapsing into a pile of ashes.
"When the DM says something is denied, Oscar may not yell Objection!" said Lisa.
Oscar grinned.
...
"Just because my character and I can speak German, doesn't mean the DM can."
Apparently he was speaking German throughout a session once.
"Oscar may not speak in gibberish during an adventure." Hugo read a rule.
"Kallae Kistnaaaaeeee! Sabayooooooo nyeh!" Oscar rasped.
Hugo face palmed.
Elsewhere Bart picked up his girlfriend Greta Wolfcastle despite that in canon they broke up.
"Where you wanna go babe?" He asked Greta.
"Um I'm still in the car... I am not being a gooseberry..." Nelson sighed.
Bart rolled his eyes. "Oops we'll have to drop him off first..."
They drove past King Toots where Langdon Alger the Quantum Lichen was wearing a paper bag on his head and walking his giant fungus monster.
In the basement Ralph stuck the dice up his nose again.
"Ugh..." Oscar groaned.
"The dice may not enter any of Ralph's orifices, especially his nostrils, at any time..." Hugo sighed writing on a sheet of paper with a quill.
Lisa read more funny rules.
"Oscar is not allowed to berserk for the hell of it, especially during royal masquerades."
Presumably he wrecked a royal masque ball scene by going berserk...
Oscar in character was growling in a feral mood and had disrobed while making a mess of the buffet table during Princess Lisa's royal ball.
Oscar sighed.
"Oz believe me we don't enjoy making these rules..." said Lisa.
"Kids that alcoholic robot from the future is here again..." Homer sighed.
"I am Titanius Anglesmith of Cornwood!" said Bender RPing.
"Nooooooo!" Fry cried.
"Bender may not play Dungeons and Dragons. Fry may not be Gollum. Fry may not insult Dungeons and Dragons. Professor Farnsworth may not swap his brain with a chimp's." Leela sighed.
Professor Farnsworth screeched like a chimpanzee.
"Rule 230ish... Oscar may not crack about my weight or sinus problems by calling me Piggy or Porker or Babe..." said Hubert Farnsworth. He snorted because of his head cold.
...
The Futurama characters went home.
Dexter read a rule.
"Dee Dee may not be a guest DM or make me play as Hodo the furry burrower..."
"Dexter may not Power Play/God Mod or try to kill us all off as quickly as possible as the DM..." said one of Dexter's friends.
Dexter rolled his eyes.
"Carl may not insist there be llamas in the RP session. No matter how cute he finds them..." Jimmy Neutron sighed.
"Or make it rain croissants..." said a classmate of Jimbo's.
"I may not include giant robots in the RP..." Tobey McAllister sighed.
"I may not transmute other players into horrific mutants..." Taro the mad scientist from Oscar's world sighed.
"I may not turn Taro into a baby during RP sessions." Oscar sighed reading the new rules.
"Homer I am not making you another sparerib smoothie!" Marge nagged Homer.
"Mom some of us are role playing down here..." Lisa sighed. "Oh dang it I wrote spare rib smoothie in the inventory sheet.
"I can live with that..." said Oscar.
"Oz no there were no spare rib recipes in the medieval times..." Lisa sighed.
Elsewhere Bart drove to the Kwik e Mart, parked his car and went in.
"Um I should be questioning why a ten year old boy just parked a car but oh well..." said Apu.
Just try not notice. It's stupid, I know.
Bart purchased a Squishee.
The basement. And more rules that had to be written for Oscar.
"Oscar must not murder canon NPCs in their sleep, no matter how cliche they are."
"Well stop writing cliched characters..." said Oscar slitting the throat of a sleeping NPC in the imaginary adventure where he was playing as a rogue.
In reality Jurkle and Grorge marched down the basement stairs.
"Ah just in time for the next rule..." Hugo sighed.
"Ogres are not kosher."
Grorgre and Jurkle winced exasperated.
"Collateral Damage Man is not an appropriate name for a super hero." Bart said over the Krusty walkie talkie. "Your Geeky RPs suck except for superhero RPs, because for some reason I like to play dress up as a superhero..."
"Bart are you doing things you're too young to do again, like driving a car...?" Lisa sighed.
"Better than doing things I'm too old to do... like playing dress up..." said Bart.
...
"Drow are not good eating."
"Oz why do we have to keep making these rules every time you revert to cannibalism in an RP?!" Milhouse groaned.
"Is it cannibalism if they're a dark elf and I'm human?" Oscar asked.
"Well no. But a sapient being eating another it is..." said Hugo.
"You're a Sap-ient being..." said Bart over the Krusty Walkie Talkie.
Hugo sighed.
"Polka is not appropriate marching music." Lisa read a rule.
Oscar was obviously playing inappropriate background music during an RP.
In fact he was again as right when Lisa was narrating they were entering a dank, dark cave full of trolls, the song Never gonna give you p by Rick Astley started playing.
"No Oz! Do not Improvise the background music! I picked the mood music myself specifically." Lisa was slightly annoyed.
"This is why you shouldn't invite Oscar to take part in your hobbies. Because he goofs off!" Hugo ranted.
"The freak has too many lines! No one wants to hear from him!" Homer was being a jerk again as he checked on the kids playing table top RPGs in the basement.
"He can speak as much as he wants! I don't want to hear from you, you jerk!" Oscar snapped.
Homer went off in a huff. "Marge I will not have to deal with his insolence!"
"Homer you're at fault here! Stop bullying Hugo!" Marge nagged.
"Even if the rules allow it, I am not allowed to summon 50,000 Blue Whales." Was another rule Lisa had to set.
Apparently Oscar summoned loads of whales once for a laugh.
"And no more summoning clowns..." Bart groaned over the Walkie Talkie.
Valley speak has no place in a fantasy setting. Especially if you're the paladin.
Oscar apparently was talking in funny accents that felt out of place for the setting or his character.
How about an elf with a San Francisco gay accent?" Oscar asked.
The Goddess of Marriage's chosen weapon is not the whip.
Oscar made a whip crack sound.
"No Oz! Now you're just being really crude!" Lisa whined.
"There is only one God!" said Rod.
"Rod this is a make believe story generating game..." Lisa sighed.
...
Then Bart's B story had some conflict or drama. Let's see...
Bart suddenly found himself parked in Winnipeg near the fallen Sun Sphere tower.
"No." Bart refused.
With Martin, Milhouse and Nelson while they were all wearing girly wigs.
"No dude!" Bart yelled.
Well then he went on a second road trip where he met a girl and she claimed he got her pregnant.
"Ay carumba! How is that even possible?!" Bart yelled.
Also in both these episodes how is he allowed to gallivant about outside his home for days on end?!
Ace turned up at the Simpsons house just in time for another rule that had to be set during RP sessions.
"I am not to kill off all the vampires in the LARP, (Live Action RP. Aka dressing up) even if they are terminally stupid."
Ace flipped and strangled Oscar.
"And that's why Oz needs to be aware of his friends and their origins. Ie don't offer Jurkle bacon, don't try to stake Ace..." Hugo sighed.
"Don't offer me Snozzcumbers..." said Grogre.
I cannot buy any animal in groups of 100 or over.
"Not even kittens?!" Oscar whined.
"Especially not kittens!" said Hugo sharply.
There is no such skill as 'improvised cooking'
"Lay off of my sporadic cooking abilities!" Oscar snapped.
Lisa grimaced as she looked at his burnt rock cakes.
Hugo was enjoying some Victoria sponge that Oscar had baked well and not had burnt or under baked or ruined in anyway. It was actually pleasant.
"Wow, this cake is great! Better than all the dust and cobwebs I've been living off for the last 11 years." Despite that you're still only ten years old.
Oscar slowly turns round towards Homer and glared.
"We gave him salt for seasoning..." said Homer whimpering.
Anyway more rules to ruin Oscar's fun.
I am not allowed to base any dwarf off any character played by Joe Pesci.
Oscar cracked up laughing.
Plot 3
Bart arrived home. Just in time for his geeky siblings to badger him with things he can't do in RPGs.
Bart groaned as Lisa and Hugo ran to the door with pads of paper and pens, in costume from a LARP RPG.
No figuring out the plot and killing the actual villain five minutes into the adventure.
Bart grunted annoyed. "Fine."
When investigating evil cultists or ghosts in a haunted house, I am not allowed to just torch the decrepit mansion from the outside.
Bart was remembering Lisa's dumb haunted house RP.
The next rule was: After we've slain a monster I am not allowed to say it's tonight's dinner.
"Fine you're tonight's dinner!" Bart growled.
"Mooooom! Bart insinuated I was tonight's dinner!" Lisa tattled.
"Play nice!" said Marge from somewhere.
Oscar wrote on the rules list.
Lisa gasped as he wrote "Lisa must not tattle tale." She frowned at him.
"Where did you guys get to? We were in the middle of a campaign!" Martin whined.
"Come on everyone." said Hugo leading the way.
The kids were back in the basement taking part in geeky RPGs.
Oscar was playing as a paladin. Hugo didn't approve of his heraldry. "Oz..."
"My Paladin's heraldry is not a smiley face." Oscar sighed as he drew a Smiley face.
Bart smirked. "I know he should try to be cool but that is funny."
The king was explaining in a long winded manner their quest.
"I cast haste!" Bart groaned.
"Bart no! You can't cast haste during the king's speech to make him hurry the hell up!" Lisa groaned.
Bart groaned.
While Lisa was narrating what the king was saying, A friend of Oscar's was reading the list of rules made up recently because of Oscar's antics during RPs.
"Drow are not good eating."
"LIES!" Oscar's friend yelled.
"Wayne don't encourage him..." Lisa sighed.
Bart groaned and tried again to cast haste.
"No Bart!" Lisa yelled.
"Bart do I have permission to lay my hands upon your person?" Oscar asked.
"But Krusty's about to start soon! I need to watch it can you just hurry up?" Bart groaned.
"I don't care what you need! I NEED YOU TO STOP!" Lisa yelled.
...
Lisa, Oscar, Martin, Dolph etc were still playing Vampires and Vikings.
Oscar after Lisa yelled at Bart took a break to get a drink. He came back with a rubber duck from the bathroom.
"Uh... Oz why did you need to go in the bathroom for a drink..." Bart asked.
"Soon, Mr. Ducky, we shall drink the fear of those who mocked us. Mwuhahahaha!" said Oscar squeaking the rubber duck.
Hugo confiscated the rubber duck.
"Now we're in the forest of zombies. Obviously we're gonna encounter some zombies-" Lisa explained as the DM.
"Hold your horses kids." said Marge checking up on them. "Oscar you've been down here all day and I haven't checked your diaper. You must have a terrible rash by now! Come on you need a fresh diaper."
Oscar blushed mortified as Dolph laughed at him.
Oscar is lead upstairs to his room. With a gentle prompt Marge asks him to lie upon the changing table.
As she is pulling down his shorts to change his diaper the phone nearby rings. She answers, she is then in a long winded conversation with Luanne, Milhouse's Mom. They are talking about things women usually gossip about on the phone.
Oscar sighed.
"Less talky, more nappy." said Oscar demanding she instead focus on changing his diaper/nappy.
Marge sighed.
Lisa wrote a rule for Quiffy he wasn't happy about.
I am not from Margaritaville, and even if I was, that doesn't excuse the hawaiian shirt and lawn chair during the dress inspection.
"Oh you cotton headed ninny muffins!" He yelled annoyed as he was wearing one of his Hawaiian shirts and sat in a lawn chair.
Lisa sighed.
Clowns shoes have no place in a dungeon crawl.
"ENOUGH!" Oscar and Quiffy yelled. "WE ARE NOT HAVING THAT RULE!"
"Oz you can't dress as a clown during a dungeon crawl..." Lisa groaned.
"Just try and stop me!" Oscar snapped.
"I'm only in on this clown thing Oz likes because apparently Chibi Trowa Barton from Gundam Wing in chibi or super deformed or big head style anime drawing looks like me. Oscar even gave me a similar clown costume to him." said Quiffy.
Lisa sighed exasperated.
My life long nemesis is not allowed to join in on our RP sessions for "Go karting with Bowser" episodes. They're my enemy for a reason.
"I don't even wanna be in the same state as Sideshow Bob or Dr Demento! Let alone be in the same room as either of them!" Bart yelled alarmed that rule had to be brought up.
"Now hold on! Table Top Tuesday could be rather interesting with Bob..." Oscar smirked.
"No Oz!" Bart groaned.
"Or even more interesting with Dark Oscar threatening time kill everyone every second, Zargon ranting about world domination or even Sergio Aregonés scaring the crap out of me with my all time worst fear." said Oscar.
"No Oz..." Hugo sighed.
...
Then a rule had to be written for Hugo.
Even if the rules allow it, I cannot control 20,000 pigeons and use them as flying piranha.
"Pigeons is are sacred to me!" Hugo yelled. "And rats, and pigeon rats."
"Do you do that Wicked Witch of the West thing then?" Oscar asked.
"All the time Oz..." Hugo smirked.
"Well don't..." Lisa sighed.
And then another rule had to be written for Hugo.
I cannot start the campaign conjoined to another character.
"GRrrrrrrrraaaaaggggghh!" Hugo growled in a beastly manner.
"Hugo no! Stop obsessing over that!" Bart groaned.
Hugo growled.
1st Watch is not for accordion practice.
"Yes it is!" Hugo argued.
Bart face palmed.
Then... "When I'm DMing a villain, and the party has a werewolf character, I cannot let the villain's dieing words be "And I would've gotten away with it, if it hadn't been for you meddling kids and that mangy dog!""
Oscar laughed hysterically.
Lisa sighed flustered.
"A pirate who has two peglegs, two eyepatches, and two hooks is just wrong. Especially when I name him "Blind Cap'n Stump"."
"Oh come on! That was funny!" Oscar whined.
"Biting People" is not allowed to be my character's addiction.
Hugo growled and snarled.
Bart winced and had a worried look on his face.
"No character of mine is allowed to be Pee Wee Herman."
Oscar whined.
"No Oz!" Everyone groaned.
"Milhouse must understand I am NOT interested!"
The D&D gang were arriving home from school and heading to the basement.
"Hi, Mr. Simpson. I'm here to profess my undying love for Lisa." said Milhouse to Homer.
"Milhouse take a hint! I am not interested! Geez!" Lisa groaned annoyed.
Bart winced at Milhouse concerned by his crush on Lisa.
There is something wrong with owning a flock of forrest rodents and calling myself the Squirrel Lord.
"No there ain't!" Oscar snapped.
"Oz you're not the flippin Squirrel Lord!" Bart groaned.
...
The gang, Lisa, Ralph, Milhouse, Martin as a female bard! Dolph and Oscar were taking part in the Crimson throne D&D session.
"Okay, everyone, keep a look out for monsters." said Lisa.
Then a beholder ate Milhouse.
"Oz no." Lisa sighed.
Another rule was made.
"Oscar may not decide a creature or monster "ate" someone."
"Yea i know that but..." said Oscar.
"LOOK A UNICORN!" Bart shouts.
Lisa looks and she sees a scary demonic unicorn that grabs her and eats her up while everyone watches.
Oscar laughed.
"BAAAAAART!" Lisa yelled. "No that didn't happen!"
Another rule on the rule sheet was pointed out. "I will not tell the Halflings/Hobbits to shave their feet. Particularly the females."
"I don't like hairy legs or feet on a woman..." Oscar whined.
"Hobbits are supposed to have hairy feet..." Lisa sighed.
"I will not try to use Magic Missile in a confined space."
Oscar pouted.
"Oz that's what started this rule list and story in the first place..." Lisa sighed.
"Atomic green Death Fart is not a real spell or attack."
Bart laughed.
"Bart do not encourage Oz... No he can't declare a fart as an attack..." Lisa sighed.
Then Oscar insisted the Curious Bear Cub, the cartoo green bear cub from Happy Little Elves was there.
"No Oz..." Lisa sighed.
"Bart may not call his characters ridiclious names like Kool Mon Dee..."
Bart rolled his eyes.
...
One session after school Oscar was playing a paladin.
"Okay Oscar choose your mount." said Lisa.
There was a poof sound and Oscar dressed in armour was riding an ostrich.
"No Oz! Your mount can't be an ostrich!" Lisa groaned annoyed.
"Why not?" Bart defended Oscar.
Lisa groaned frustrated.
"I can not eat the goblins. Especially when we are trying to negotiate with them."
"Fine. But Martin can't insult the goblins either." said Oscar.
"Oz that was long ago before my sister became a D & D geek..." said Bart sighing.
My dying words are not allowed to be "Strike me down, and I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine."
Oscar laughed. "Use the force!"
Lisa sighed.
"Armpit noises are inappropriate for a Bard instrument.
Bart laughed.
Lisa frowned at him.
"I think we already said this but Mayonnaise also can not be an instrument." said Hugo adjusting his false glasses with no lenses. He just wore them to look smart.
"This is a witch hunt!" Patrick Star yelled annoyed.
Plot 4
They eventually manage to get on with the quest.
Lisa the Druid, Oscar the gunslinger, Martina the bard, Ralph the knight who was huge and muscular for some reason. Dolph as a mage and Milhouse as a ranger were travelling.
"Are we going west or south." Milhouse asked.
"South has bugbears, maybe we should go west." said Lisa.
"Wait if there's something bear related I wanna go south so the cute shiny nosed bear things sniff me!" Oscar demanded.
"Rule 4,500 or something... I lost count... Oscar may not talk about cartoon bears sniffing him..." Lisa sighed.