"Mattieeeeee," Alfred begs, draping himself over his friend's shoulder, "C'mooooon! Pleeeeeaaaaase?"

Mathew squirms, and Mattais snorts. "Give it up Al! Mattie doesn't let anyone sleepover at his house!"

The ants have been replaced by worms, writhing in his stomach, and Mathew feels a sudden wave of nausea.

"I can't sleep if there's people in my house."

It's not a lie... Probably. Mathew's never had anyone sleep over before, but it's the best excuse he has. He almost told them his Papa says no sleepovers, but he bit it back at the last moment. Alfred's the type of person who'd go straight to papa and try to convince him, and that would be bad because Papa will definitely tell him he didn't say anything like that, and then he'll give them permission to sleep over, and Mathew won't be able to convince them not to.

It's not like he can't tell them the real reason.

So instead, he tells a probably-not-a-lie.

He doesn't tell his friends that he's scared the monster will go to them too if they sleep over.

Alfred doesn't give up. "Then sleep over at my place! My dad will definitely let you if I ask! And we can invite Mattais, and Lars, if you want - not Carlos, he's a jerk!- and we can tell scary stories and eat pizza and it'll be so much fun!"

And Mathew wants to say yes, so bad he almost chokes swallowing the word down.

"I don't think I can, this week."

"Aww man, why not?"

Mathew wants to sleep over at Alfred's so bad he is sweating. Alfred's promised time and time again there's no Monsters in his house, ever since they were little.

("An' even if there was, I'd beat them up!")

Mathew thinks if he sleeps at Alfred's, he might not wake up feeling so dirty and scared. He thinks that he might not have nightmares anymore. But he can't sleep over, not with this morning's events so clear on his mind. Papa would definitely say that he can't let Mathew sleep over while he still wets the bed, and even the monster at home is better than the whole school hearing that rumour. Mathew's been on the victim end of bullying enough to know to never, ever let it happen again.

"I...I might be able to next week, maybe Saturday?" Mathew makes the suggestion more as a distraction than an actual hope.

Alfred brightens.

"For real?"

Mathew avoids eye contact.

"I'd have to ask my Papa."

Mattiais snickers, but Alfred shoots him a glare, and he stops instantly. Alfred's the only reason Mathew isn't being teased for calling his Papa that, even though he's already twelve. Mathew had tried to stop, last year when he turned eleven, but when Papa asked him why, the words, "I'm not a kid anymore, it's embarrassing!" died on his lips. To his Papa, at least, Mathew doesn't want to be more mature.

Still, he's not expecting his Papa to say yes when Mathew broaches the subject, stumbling over his words.

"I won't wet the bed again, I promise! So, if I! If, for a week, I don't, then, next week, at Alfred's..." He feels a sense of rising dread, like he already knows the answer. "Next weekend, can I stay over at Alfred's? Not just me! He's also inviting Mattais and Lars and-" He cuts himself off, a sickening feeling in his stomach.

Papa won't let him go, he's sure of it. He lowers his eyes to the floor, trying not to tear up with disappointment. Except-

Papa steps forwards, using a hand to tilt his face up to meet his eyes.

"Mathieu, you know I love you very much, right?"

The ants are back again. Mathew nods, mutely. Francis pulls him in for a tight hug, arms resting neatly around his back. Like Papa, not a monster.

"Oh, Mathieu," Papa speaks into his hair, "Of course you can go! I'm so happy for you!"

Mathew stiffens, then pulls back, blinking.

"I can go?"

And Papa is smiling, like he's delighted at the concept. He doesn't look unhappy or wary or anything. "This is the first time you've had a friend invite you to stay over! I'm so happy you've made friends!"

Mathew almost cries anyways, this time with relief. "Thank you! You're the best!" He hugs Papa on his own this time, short, but tight.

He doesn't tell his dad that this isn't the first time he's been invited to a sleepover, or that he'd refused before for many reasons, all of which related to the monster that comes when he sleeps. He doesn't mention that he's had friends for ages, he just doesn't invite them over... Just in case. He doesn't say anything about the monster at all. Papa laughs lightly, but suddenly gives him a stern look.

"Only if you don't wet the bed anymore. If it happens again, even after the sleepover, no more sleepovers again, understand?"

And Mathew can't confirm it fast enough.

"Yes!"

He feels like his heart is soaring. There's a chance for more sleepovers? He can do it again? Mathew's so excited he almost feels sick. It's been a long time since he could sleep without the monster coming. He wonders what a full night's sleep feels like.

When he tells Alfred the next day on the school bus, Alfred whoops so loudly that half the bus turns to look. At school, Mattais looks at Alfred like he's worked a miracle.

"Seriously? How did you do that? Mattie never agrees to sleepovers!"

"It's because my sleepovers are the best!" Alfred smugly brags.

And Mathew can't wait to find out if it's true.

He thinks he can endure the monster a little better when it's just until next Saturday. After all, it's already Thursday.

When he wakes up on Friday with the taste of a monster left in his mouth, he gags, but doesnt puke. Papa can't know. If Papa thinks he's sick, he might not let Mathew go. And if-

Mathew swallows down his bile, and goes to brush away the taste in his mouth. Only nine more days, until Mathew can escape the monster. He tries not to think about what happens after.

He doesn't bring up the sleepover at home, he doesn't want to remind Papa, just in case he changes his mind. Papa doesn't ask either, but he checks Mathew's bed every morning, and ruffles his hair when he finds its dry.

The monster still comes every night.

He doesn't mean to let his guard down.

By the time next Thursday comes, he's so excited he can barely sleep. He's so excited he almost forgets he's supposed to be asleep when the monster comes. The door creaks, and Mathew lets himself go limp on his side, immediately assuming his deep, even breaths. His back is to the door, something Mathew never does. Somehow, it's scarier when his back is to the monster.

The monster creeps nearer, and it's hard for Mathew to tell how close it is, with his back turned. He doesn't need his eyes to see, of course, but the movement of the air, the sounds of shuffling and bare feet are different in this position. The ants are back, tickling his spine with thousands of tiny feet, and he's so scared that his fingers go numb. But Mathew doesn't show it. He's asleep. The monster can't hurt him when he sleeps. He waits, waits for the monster to touch and taste him, waits for the monster to finish and leave.

There they are, fingers, sliding under his shirt, this time up his back. He can feel it as they hit each bump on his spine, raising goosebumps as they ghost over his back and back down. And further down. Till the monster's hands slide down over the seat of his pajama bottoms, and slide gently over his rear, cupping each cheek softly, then rubbing circles, then back up again. Its different then usual, and Mathew has to work harder not to shudder, to keep himself limp and relaxed, even as the monster pushes something hard against his rear, on top of his pajamas, and begins to rock. Even when it's breaths began to break uneven and pant.

He breathes the same way he always breathes, deep and even, doesn't shift or shudder. Sleeping children can't react to Monsters. Monsters can't hurt sleeping children.

They just leave them dirty and sticky in the bed.