p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""You still blame me for Rowena's death, but you don't even know what happened down there. I had to leave my son's corpse behind, in Hell. I didn't- I didn't get to bury my son", he breaks down and falls to his knees, "I couldn't save him. I promised… I couldn't. And that thing… it hurt to see that… abomination walk around with his face"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Cas…"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Hearing his name, Cas looks up and his anger rises up inside him again./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""And you, you forced me to go to Hell, you didn't care what could happen to me, what that... thing, that demon could do to me. You don't care about me and I don't have it in me to keep convincing myself otherwise. I'm just… done"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Dean takes a step closer and lifts up his hand, but doesn't approach him./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""I don't know how much more I can excuse you, Dean. You tried to bury Jack in a Ma'lak box. You tried to kill him. You didn't even give him a chance to explain what happened. If he were Sam you would have tried everything to save him"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Don't even compare him to Sam-"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""He was family! He was my son! Our son! You should have been there for him, to help him, to guide him, to teach him, but instead you just yelled and threatened him. He was just a child and you were supposed to be there for him, but you chose to hate him for something he couldn't control"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""I-"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""He told me, Sam told me, so don't even try to deny it"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Cas sighs and starts to turn towards the door./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""I can't do this anymore, Dean. Jack's gone. Chuck's gone. You and Sam have each other. I think… I think it's time for me to move on"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Please, don't", he whispers quietly./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Cas stops with a foot on the step and slowly turns back to face him./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""What did you say?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Please, don't leave me"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Cas stares at him in shock./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""I don't- I emcan't/em go through this again. Every time you leave I… Please, just don't leave me"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Dean"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Please, Cas. I'll leave you alone. Stay out of your way. You won't have to see me just… don't leave. Not again. Can't do this again. Please, just stay. Stay. You won't see me. I won't bother you. Please, don't leave. Stay. Stay. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Please don't leave again"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Cas gets closer, worried at this sudden outburst of emotion from Dean./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Dean, what... this isn't like you. What's wrong?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Me. I'm what's wrong. I don't know why I get so angry. It's just always been there. And when things go bad it just… it comes out. And I can't- I can't stop it. No matter how- how bad I want to, I just can't stop it. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I always take it out on you. I'll try to be better. Please, please, just don't leave. I can't, I can't go through that again. I don't think… I- I can't take it again. It will destroy me. It always does. Please, please, please. Just stay here."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"He's sobbing at this point and Cas doesn't know what to do, what to say./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Dean"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Dean reaches for his arm and grips the sleeve of the trenchcoat in his hand./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Please, hate me if you want. Hate me. Blame me. Take it out on me. I'll take it. I can take it. Anything. Just… don't make me… don't leave again. Please, please, please, please. I can't- Please", he can't breathe. There's a pressure in his chest keeping him from breathing, "Cas, please, please", he feels light headed and stumbles forward, losing his balance./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Dean! Breathe! You have to breathe, you're having a panic attack"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""I can't. I can't", tears run down his face and his knees give out, but Cas is there to catch him, as always, "don't- Please, Cas. Please"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Follow my breathing, Dean" he says as he puts Dean's hand on his chest to guide his breathing, "you have to calm down"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"They stay like that for a few minutes, sitting on the floor, Dean laying his head on Cas shoulder, trying to catch his breath./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Dean…"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Dean tenses against him but doesn't pull away./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Dean, what happened? This… I've never seen you like this. What…"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""I don't want to talk about it"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Cas sighs, "We can't keep going like this"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Dean lifts up his head and looks at him with fear in his eyes./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""You are gonna leave, aren't you?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Why would I stay?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"That makes Dean flinch. Of course. emWhy would he stay? Why would he stay with me?/em/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Cas notices him pulling away and pulls him in again./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""I didn't… I didn't mean it like that. I just… I can't keep being your punching bag"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""I know. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Will you explain…?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""It's just, you always leave, Cas. And I thought I would get used to it but each time it hits harder and this… This time I think it would destroy me"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Why? What's different this time?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Because, this time I pushed you away. This time you are leaving because you want to, not because you d- died"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Is that what you meant? When you said emdon't leave me again/em… did you mean when I died?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Dean nods his head but can't stop trembling at the memories of that time. He almost didn't make it./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""I'm sorry"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Dean scoffs, "Only you would apologize for dying"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Well, it hurt you, so I'm sorry"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""It wasn't your fault, Cas"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Still"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"They stay in silence for a minute. Cas is about to get up and help Dean to his feet when he's interrupted by Dean./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""It was… I never told you"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Told me what?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""About last time"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Dean, you don't have t-"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Yes, I do. Because you think I don't care"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Cas looks down at his hands and lets out a deep breath./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""I do care, Cas. When you… were gone I didn't… I didn't cope as good as… I didn't cope. I couldn't. I saw your wings burnt on the ground and a part of me d- died with you. I was… empty. I couldn't even look at… Every time I looked at Jack he reminded me of you. It wasn't fair, but I took it out on him"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Cas looks at him with sad eyes and he keeps going./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""I didn't… I didn't care anymore. How could I? You were gone and there was nothing I could do about it. And then we had this case… Some ghosts terrorizing some kids and I just… I was so tired, man. I told Sam to bring me back and I- I killed myself. I didn't want… If Billie hadn't brought me back… That was the day you came back. I told Sam I needed one win. Just one. And then you called. You were a pretty damn big win, Cas"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Dean… You… The death of a friend shouldn't make you suicidal"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Yeah… A friend... I… There's something else I wanted to tell you. Something I emneed/em to tell you"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"He takes a deep sigh and closes his eyes, trying to gather the courage to do this./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""You've always been there for me. Ever since you rescued me from Hell, you always believed in me, even when I didn't. And, without even realizing it, you became one of the most important people in my life. I've always known that I would be safe with you, that I could tell you everything and you wouldn't judge me. And somehow, I started to care more about you than-"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Don't. Dean, please, don't"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Dean stops and pulls away. How could he be so stupid. Cas would never see him as anything more than a friend./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Oh"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Cas can see the hurt in his eyes and he can't do this. Every bone in his body is telling him to say it, to tell him the truth. But how can he? He will hurt him anyway and he just asked him to stay, if he tells him about the deal he will leave him. He can't do that to him./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"He stands up and walks around the room, running his hands over his face, calming his thoughts./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Suddenly, he stops and turns around to look at Dean. He's looking at the floor, trying to gather the pieces of his broken heart. But maybe there is a way out of this./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""I have to tell you something"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Dean looks up and he can see tears in his eyes. He walks closer until he can kneel before him, and cup his cheek with his hand./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""When Jack was dying… I made a deal to save him?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""You what?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""The price was my life. When I experienced a moment of true happiness, the Empty would be summoned, and it would take me forever"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Why are you telling me this now?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""I always thought that the one thing I want was something I couldn't have", he says as he takes the angel blade in his hand./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Dean's eyes widen with surprise and frown in confusion, "What are you doing? I don't understand, Cas"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Cas puts the angel blade in Dean's hand and points it at his neck, "I need you to cut my grace out"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Dean tries to pull back but Cas holds him in place, "No! Cas, what are you talking about? I can't-"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""I need you to do this", there're tears running down his cheeks falling on their joined hands, "I need you to do this so I can be happy"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""I can't-"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""I know how you see yourself, Dean. You see yourself the same way our enemies see you. You're destructive, and you're angry, and you're broken. You're your emdaddy's blunt instrument/em. And you think that hate and anger, that's what drives you, that's who you are. It's not. And everyone who knows you see it. Everything you have ever done, the good and the bad, you have done for love. You raised your little brother for love. You fought for this whole world for love. That is who you are. You're the most caring man on Earth. You are the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know", he runs his thumb across his cheek, "You know, ever since I pulled you out of Hell… Knowing you has changed me. Because you cared, I cared. I cared about you. I cared about Sam. I cared about Jack. I cared about the whole world because of you", he lifts his other hand to hold his face in his hands, "You changed me, Dean. And now, I need you to change me again. Take my grace, let me be happy. Please"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""I-"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Please"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Dean looks him in the eye and lets out a deep breath, "Okay. Okay, Cas. What do I do?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Cut here", he says pointing with his finger, "a small cut and…", he looks around the room, looking for something where to keep his grace. He sees a small vial on the table and stands up to take it. Then he takes back the position he was in before, "I'm ready"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Are you sure, Cas?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Please"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Dean takes a few breaths to calm himself and makes the cut. Cas puts the vial to his neck and it fills with his essence. And then… he breaks down into tears./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Cas! Cas, are you okay? Fuck! Cas! What did I do? What-"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"He's interrupted by Cas' lips on him. He doesn't move at first, still in shock. He can feel their wet faces rubbing against each other and then Cas sighs and it breaks Dean out of his stupor so he leans in. He grabs Cas' hair in his fingers and tilts his head the right way to deepen the kiss. Causing Cas to gasp and pull away./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"They stare at each other for what feels like forever and Cas touches his cheek, running his thumb under his eyes, his nose and over his bottom lip./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""I love you", and he flinches, "I love you", and he looks around, "I love you", he looks at the door, "I love you", he says finally setting his eyes on Dean./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Cas…", he sighs, "I-", Cas shuts him up with a thumb on his lips./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"They rest their foreheads together and Dean tries again./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Cas, can I say it now?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""The deal…"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Are you happy, Cas?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Cas shakes his head, "I can't…"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Cas, are you happy?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Cas rests his head on Dean's shoulder and he nods./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Dean lifts his head with his hand under his chin and smiles, "I love you too"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Cas can't stop a sob from escaping his mouth at that. Dean rubs his hands over his back and hugs him tight./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""I love you. I'm sorry about everything I said. Everything I did. I'm so sorry. I'll make it up to you. We'll beat Chuck, we'll find a way to bring Jack back. You'll be happy, Cas. You deserve to be happy"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""I am", he says as he leans in for another kiss. They kiss for a few minutes and the Empty doesn't come. They move to the bed, and the Empty doesn't come. They keep telling each other how much they love each other and the Empty doesn't come. Dean kisses his love onto Cas' skin, starting on his jaw and going down to his hips and the Empty still doesn't come./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Cas… You're… You're so… Fuck, Cas… You're so beautiful", he says as he lays a kiss on his collarbone, "so kind", a kiss on the other side, "so generous", a kiss over his heart, "so good. So good to me", his lips hovering over his right nipple, "so strong", a kiss on the stomach, "such a good fighter", a kiss near his navel, "you've saved the world so many times", he says running his lips over his left hip, "you've done so much for this world. For me. For Sam. For Jack", he moves to the other hip, "I love you, Cas. You deserve to be happy"./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Cas stays silent but Dean can feel him shaking, so he looks up and notices his face wet with tears. He moves up until their lips are mere centimeters apart and runs a hand through the hair on his forehead while the other cups his cheek./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""I mean it, Cas. I know I've been… a dick and I'm so sorry. I promise I will make it up to you. You deserve everything you want. And I will do everything I can to give it to you. I will show you every day how loved you are. And I know we will fight, I'll probably ruin this and you're going to get fed up with me but know that I will always love you. I've always loved you. I'm yours, Cas. And you… You're it for me. The one, you know. The love of my life. You are-"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Cas shuts him up with a kiss, "Stop", he whispers, "please stop"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""You deserve to hear this, Cas"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""It's… It's too much", he can stop crying silently, "I've never… I never thought I could have this. Could have you. Not like this"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""And that's my fault"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Cas puts his fingers on his lips and burrows his head on his neck, "Don't start again"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Dean smiles and holds him closer as he kisses the top of his head, "Whatever you want, baby"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Cas lets out a soft noise and shifts even closer to Dean as he whispers, "I love you"./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; text-align: center;" align="center"span lang="EN-US"* * * * */span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"The next morning, Dean wakes up first. At some point during the night they moved on to their sides, facing each other with their limbs entwined. He lays there, staring at Cas' face and can't help but run his fingers softly over his cheek and lips. Cas wakes up slowly, stretching his muscles without opening his eyes and then burying his face in Dean's chest. Dean chuckles quietly and Cas opens his eyes in shock, finally remembering last night./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Good morning", says Dean laughing./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Good morning, Dean", his voice rough from sleep and fuck, Dean has to fight not to let out a groan./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Sleep okay?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Cas frowns and stays quiet for a few seconds, "I'll never get used to dreaming and sleeping"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Dean's smile drops and he cups the side of his head with his hand, "Hey, it's okay. I'll help you with all these human things. This time I will be here for you. As I should have been last time"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Cas looks down with a sad look in his eyes, "I don't… I'm not sure…"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Dean thinks he looks afraid to say what he wants./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""What is it, Cas? You can tell me"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""I- I don't think… I-"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Cas, I love you. You don't have to be afraid to tell me anything. Whatever it is we can deal with it. Together. No more running out on our own and keeping secrets"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""You mean that?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"It stings a little that Cas still doesn't believe him./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Of course I mean it. Everything I said last night. All of it, was true"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""All of it?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Well, I didn't mean it when I blamed you for Rowena or… everything I guess. I'm really sorry I said that. But everything else, I meant it"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Cas smiles and looks at his lips in doubt, so Dean leans in and kisses him softly. Cas gasps and leans closer, deepening the kiss and wrapping his arms around his neck. Surprisingly, Dean is the one to lean away. He knows this conversation is too important to let it drop./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""What were you going to say? Before"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""I... I'm afraid I won't be useful anymore. Without my grace... I can't help you anymore"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""You wouldn't be useless. I'll admit that your powers come in handy, but you can still hold your own without them. And you are like a walking encyclopedia, so you'll be great with research"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Thanks, Dean"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Continue, you weren't done"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Cas blushes and bites his lip, "I'd like… I would like to grow old with you"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"He avoids looking him in the eye, as if he's expecting to be rejected, so Dean pushes him to lay flat on his back and lifts a leg over his hips, straddling him./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Are you saying… you want forever with me? Grow old until we are a couple of grumpy old man, yelling at kids to stay off out land?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Cas tilts his head in confusion, "I don't understand. Why would we be yelling at kids?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""It's… nevermind", he laughs, "the point is, I would like to grow old with you too"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Cas smiles broadly and pulls him down into a kiss./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Cas…"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Hearing his name, Cas looks up and his anger rises up inside him again./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""And you, you forced me to go to Hell, you didn't care what could happen to me, what that... thing, that demon could do to me. You don't care about me and I don't have it in me to keep convincing myself otherwise. I'm just… done"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Dean takes a step closer and lifts up his hand, but doesn't approach him./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""I don't know how much more I can excuse you, Dean. You tried to bury Jack in a Ma'lak box. You tried to kill him. You didn't even give him a chance to explain what happened. If he were Sam you would have tried everything to save him"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Don't even compare him to Sam-"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""He was family! He was my son! Our son! You should have been there for him, to help him, to guide him, to teach him, but instead you just yelled and threatened him. He was just a child and you were supposed to be there for him, but you chose to hate him for something he couldn't control"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""I-"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""He told me, Sam told me, so don't even try to deny it"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Cas sighs and starts to turn towards the door./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""I can't do this anymore, Dean. Jack's gone. Chuck's gone. You and Sam have each other. I think… I think it's time for me to move on"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Please, don't", he whispers quietly./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Cas stops with a foot on the step and slowly turns back to face him./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""What did you say?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Please, don't leave me"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Cas stares at him in shock./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""I don't- I emcan't/em go through this again. Every time you leave I… Please, just don't leave me"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Dean"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Please, Cas. I'll leave you alone. Stay out of your way. You won't have to see me just… don't leave. Not again. Can't do this again. Please, just stay. Stay. You won't see me. I won't bother you. Please, don't leave. Stay. Stay. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Please don't leave again"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Cas gets closer, worried at this sudden outburst of emotion from Dean./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Dean, what... this isn't like you. What's wrong?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Me. I'm what's wrong. I don't know why I get so angry. It's just always been there. And when things go bad it just… it comes out. And I can't- I can't stop it. No matter how- how bad I want to, I just can't stop it. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I always take it out on you. I'll try to be better. Please, please, just don't leave. I can't, I can't go through that again. I don't think… I- I can't take it again. It will destroy me. It always does. Please, please, please. Just stay here."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"He's sobbing at this point and Cas doesn't know what to do, what to say./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Dean"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Dean reaches for his arm and grips the sleeve of the trenchcoat in his hand./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Please, hate me if you want. Hate me. Blame me. Take it out on me. I'll take it. I can take it. Anything. Just… don't make me… don't leave again. Please, please, please, please. I can't- Please", he can't breathe. There's a pressure in his chest keeping him from breathing, "Cas, please, please", he feels light headed and stumbles forward, losing his balance./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Dean! Breathe! You have to breathe, you're having a panic attack"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""I can't. I can't", tears run down his face and his knees give out, but Cas is there to catch him, as always, "don't- Please, Cas. Please"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Follow my breathing, Dean" he says as he puts Dean's hand on his chest to guide his breathing, "you have to calm down"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"They stay like that for a few minutes, sitting on the floor, Dean laying his head on Cas shoulder, trying to catch his breath./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Dean…"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Dean tenses against him but doesn't pull away./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Dean, what happened? This… I've never seen you like this. What…"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""I don't want to talk about it"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Cas sighs, "We can't keep going like this"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Dean lifts up his head and looks at him with fear in his eyes./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""You are gonna leave, aren't you?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Why would I stay?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"That makes Dean flinch. Of course. emWhy would he stay? Why would he stay with me?/em/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Cas notices him pulling away and pulls him in again./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""I didn't… I didn't mean it like that. I just… I can't keep being your punching bag"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""I know. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Will you explain…?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""It's just, you always leave, Cas. And I thought I would get used to it but each time it hits harder and this… This time I think it would destroy me"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Why? What's different this time?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Because, this time I pushed you away. This time you are leaving because you want to, not because you d- died"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Is that what you meant? When you said emdon't leave me again/em… did you mean when I died?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Dean nods his head but can't stop trembling at the memories of that time. He almost didn't make it./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""I'm sorry"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Dean scoffs, "Only you would apologize for dying"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Well, it hurt you, so I'm sorry"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""It wasn't your fault, Cas"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Still"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"They stay in silence for a minute. Cas is about to get up and help Dean to his feet when he's interrupted by Dean./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""It was… I never told you"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Told me what?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""About last time"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Dean, you don't have t-"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Yes, I do. Because you think I don't care"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Cas looks down at his hands and lets out a deep breath./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""I do care, Cas. When you… were gone I didn't… I didn't cope as good as… I didn't cope. I couldn't. I saw your wings burnt on the ground and a part of me d- died with you. I was… empty. I couldn't even look at… Every time I looked at Jack he reminded me of you. It wasn't fair, but I took it out on him"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Cas looks at him with sad eyes and he keeps going./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""I didn't… I didn't care anymore. How could I? You were gone and there was nothing I could do about it. And then we had this case… Some ghosts terrorizing some kids and I just… I was so tired, man. I told Sam to bring me back and I- I killed myself. I didn't want… If Billie hadn't brought me back… That was the day you came back. I told Sam I needed one win. Just one. And then you called. You were a pretty damn big win, Cas"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Dean… You… The death of a friend shouldn't make you suicidal"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Yeah… A friend... I… There's something else I wanted to tell you. Something I emneed/em to tell you"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"He takes a deep sigh and closes his eyes, trying to gather the courage to do this./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""You've always been there for me. Ever since you rescued me from Hell, you always believed in me, even when I didn't. And, without even realizing it, you became one of the most important people in my life. I've always known that I would be safe with you, that I could tell you everything and you wouldn't judge me. And somehow, I started to care more about you than-"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Don't. Dean, please, don't"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Dean stops and pulls away. How could he be so stupid. Cas would never see him as anything more than a friend./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Oh"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Cas can see the hurt in his eyes and he can't do this. Every bone in his body is telling him to say it, to tell him the truth. But how can he? He will hurt him anyway and he just asked him to stay, if he tells him about the deal he will leave him. He can't do that to him./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"He stands up and walks around the room, running his hands over his face, calming his thoughts./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Suddenly, he stops and turns around to look at Dean. He's looking at the floor, trying to gather the pieces of his broken heart. But maybe there is a way out of this./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""I have to tell you something"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Dean looks up and he can see tears in his eyes. He walks closer until he can kneel before him, and cup his cheek with his hand./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""When Jack was dying… I made a deal to save him?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""You what?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""The price was my life. When I experienced a moment of true happiness, the Empty would be summoned, and it would take me forever"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Why are you telling me this now?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""I always thought that the one thing I want was something I couldn't have", he says as he takes the angel blade in his hand./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Dean's eyes widen with surprise and frown in confusion, "What are you doing? I don't understand, Cas"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Cas puts the angel blade in Dean's hand and points it at his neck, "I need you to cut my grace out"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Dean tries to pull back but Cas holds him in place, "No! Cas, what are you talking about? I can't-"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""I need you to do this", there're tears running down his cheeks falling on their joined hands, "I need you to do this so I can be happy"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""I can't-"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""I know how you see yourself, Dean. You see yourself the same way our enemies see you. You're destructive, and you're angry, and you're broken. You're your emdaddy's blunt instrument/em. And you think that hate and anger, that's what drives you, that's who you are. It's not. And everyone who knows you see it. Everything you have ever done, the good and the bad, you have done for love. You raised your little brother for love. You fought for this whole world for love. That is who you are. You're the most caring man on Earth. You are the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know", he runs his thumb across his cheek, "You know, ever since I pulled you out of Hell… Knowing you has changed me. Because you cared, I cared. I cared about you. I cared about Sam. I cared about Jack. I cared about the whole world because of you", he lifts his other hand to hold his face in his hands, "You changed me, Dean. And now, I need you to change me again. Take my grace, let me be happy. Please"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""I-"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Please"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Dean looks him in the eye and lets out a deep breath, "Okay. Okay, Cas. What do I do?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Cut here", he says pointing with his finger, "a small cut and…", he looks around the room, looking for something where to keep his grace. He sees a small vial on the table and stands up to take it. Then he takes back the position he was in before, "I'm ready"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Are you sure, Cas?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Please"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Dean takes a few breaths to calm himself and makes the cut. Cas puts the vial to his neck and it fills with his essence. And then… he breaks down into tears./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Cas! Cas, are you okay? Fuck! Cas! What did I do? What-"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"He's interrupted by Cas' lips on him. He doesn't move at first, still in shock. He can feel their wet faces rubbing against each other and then Cas sighs and it breaks Dean out of his stupor so he leans in. He grabs Cas' hair in his fingers and tilts his head the right way to deepen the kiss. Causing Cas to gasp and pull away./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"They stare at each other for what feels like forever and Cas touches his cheek, running his thumb under his eyes, his nose and over his bottom lip./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""I love you", and he flinches, "I love you", and he looks around, "I love you", he looks at the door, "I love you", he says finally setting his eyes on Dean./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Cas…", he sighs, "I-", Cas shuts him up with a thumb on his lips./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"They rest their foreheads together and Dean tries again./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Cas, can I say it now?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""The deal…"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Are you happy, Cas?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Cas shakes his head, "I can't…"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Cas, are you happy?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Cas rests his head on Dean's shoulder and he nods./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Dean lifts his head with his hand under his chin and smiles, "I love you too"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Cas can't stop a sob from escaping his mouth at that. Dean rubs his hands over his back and hugs him tight./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""I love you. I'm sorry about everything I said. Everything I did. I'm so sorry. I'll make it up to you. We'll beat Chuck, we'll find a way to bring Jack back. You'll be happy, Cas. You deserve to be happy"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""I am", he says as he leans in for another kiss. They kiss for a few minutes and the Empty doesn't come. They move to the bed, and the Empty doesn't come. They keep telling each other how much they love each other and the Empty doesn't come. Dean kisses his love onto Cas' skin, starting on his jaw and going down to his hips and the Empty still doesn't come./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Cas… You're… You're so… Fuck, Cas… You're so beautiful", he says as he lays a kiss on his collarbone, "so kind", a kiss on the other side, "so generous", a kiss over his heart, "so good. So good to me", his lips hovering over his right nipple, "so strong", a kiss on the stomach, "such a good fighter", a kiss near his navel, "you've saved the world so many times", he says running his lips over his left hip, "you've done so much for this world. For me. For Sam. For Jack", he moves to the other hip, "I love you, Cas. You deserve to be happy"./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Cas stays silent but Dean can feel him shaking, so he looks up and notices his face wet with tears. He moves up until their lips are mere centimeters apart and runs a hand through the hair on his forehead while the other cups his cheek./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""I mean it, Cas. I know I've been… a dick and I'm so sorry. I promise I will make it up to you. You deserve everything you want. And I will do everything I can to give it to you. I will show you every day how loved you are. And I know we will fight, I'll probably ruin this and you're going to get fed up with me but know that I will always love you. I've always loved you. I'm yours, Cas. And you… You're it for me. The one, you know. The love of my life. You are-"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Cas shuts him up with a kiss, "Stop", he whispers, "please stop"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""You deserve to hear this, Cas"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""It's… It's too much", he can stop crying silently, "I've never… I never thought I could have this. Could have you. Not like this"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""And that's my fault"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Cas puts his fingers on his lips and burrows his head on his neck, "Don't start again"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Dean smiles and holds him closer as he kisses the top of his head, "Whatever you want, baby"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Cas lets out a soft noise and shifts even closer to Dean as he whispers, "I love you"./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; text-align: center;" align="center"span lang="EN-US"* * * * */span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"The next morning, Dean wakes up first. At some point during the night they moved on to their sides, facing each other with their limbs entwined. He lays there, staring at Cas' face and can't help but run his fingers softly over his cheek and lips. Cas wakes up slowly, stretching his muscles without opening his eyes and then burying his face in Dean's chest. Dean chuckles quietly and Cas opens his eyes in shock, finally remembering last night./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Good morning", says Dean laughing./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Good morning, Dean", his voice rough from sleep and fuck, Dean has to fight not to let out a groan./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Sleep okay?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Cas frowns and stays quiet for a few seconds, "I'll never get used to dreaming and sleeping"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Dean's smile drops and he cups the side of his head with his hand, "Hey, it's okay. I'll help you with all these human things. This time I will be here for you. As I should have been last time"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Cas looks down with a sad look in his eyes, "I don't… I'm not sure…"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Dean thinks he looks afraid to say what he wants./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""What is it, Cas? You can tell me"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""I- I don't think… I-"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Cas, I love you. You don't have to be afraid to tell me anything. Whatever it is we can deal with it. Together. No more running out on our own and keeping secrets"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""You mean that?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"It stings a little that Cas still doesn't believe him./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Of course I mean it. Everything I said last night. All of it, was true"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""All of it?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Well, I didn't mean it when I blamed you for Rowena or… everything I guess. I'm really sorry I said that. But everything else, I meant it"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Cas smiles and looks at his lips in doubt, so Dean leans in and kisses him softly. Cas gasps and leans closer, deepening the kiss and wrapping his arms around his neck. Surprisingly, Dean is the one to lean away. He knows this conversation is too important to let it drop./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""What were you going to say? Before"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""I... I'm afraid I won't be useful anymore. Without my grace... I can't help you anymore"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""You wouldn't be useless. I'll admit that your powers come in handy, but you can still hold your own without them. And you are like a walking encyclopedia, so you'll be great with research"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Thanks, Dean"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Continue, you weren't done"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Cas blushes and bites his lip, "I'd like… I would like to grow old with you"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"He avoids looking him in the eye, as if he's expecting to be rejected, so Dean pushes him to lay flat on his back and lifts a leg over his hips, straddling him./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""Are you saying… you want forever with me? Grow old until we are a couple of grumpy old man, yelling at kids to stay off out land?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Cas tilts his head in confusion, "I don't understand. Why would we be yelling at kids?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US""It's… nevermind", he laughs, "the point is, I would like to grow old with you too"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0cm; margin-left: 0cm; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"span lang="EN-US"Cas smiles broadly and pulls him down into a kiss./span/p