Seconds after he trudged out of the elevator, the exhaustion and impatience in Robin's voice immediately told the team exactly how the visit had gone.
"We're back," he announced flatly. He sounded as if he had gone ten rounds with Cinderblock and lost every single one. And for some reason, he was missing his cape, even though he had definitely left the Tower with it.
"How did it go?" asked Cyborg, slightly amused that it had clearly been a testing afternoon, but significantly more worried that the problem that had plagued Robin so badly was about to become their problem too.
"Not bad at first… and then, very quickly-"
"I'M A SSSSSHUPERHERO!"
Beast Boy screamed exuberantly as he followed Robin out of the elevator, holding his cape aloft and streaming it behind him as he joyously ran around the room. Robin rubbed his forehead, trying to prevent the migraine that he been holding off all afternoon. Cyborg was stunned. Raven was horrified. Starfire was… overjoyed?
"Oh, how wonderful!" she exclaimed, flying towards her emerald friend.
"STARFIRE!" Beast Boy screamed in glee as if he hadn't seen her in years, making a beeline towards her and then circling around her making aeroplane sounds, while she hovered off the ground before him. At least someone seemed to be on a similar wavelength to him.
Robin took the opportunity to explain the situation to Raven and Cyborg. It had just been a routine trip to the dentist… albeit with an extremely un-routine patient.
For whatever reason, Beast Boy had felt very strongly that Titans Tower needed to be overwhelmingly stocked up with Halloween candy in the event that some desperate trick-or-treaters somehow managed to make their way to the island. Raven and Cyborg agreed with Robin that this was unlikely enough not to be an issue, but as soon as Starfire had found out about this earthly custom, she joined Beast Boy's side of the argument with the most adorable pouty puppy dog eyes. Robin had never stood a chance, and reluctantly agreed to buy a huge amount of cheap candy.
Unsurprisingly, not a single trick-or-treater had made the swim all the way to Titans Tower, just for the chance to receive a chocolate bar. This left two factors in the tower which could not peacefully coexist for a long-term amount of time; a huge pile of candy, and Beast Boy.
For the next two weeks, nobody had seen Beast Boy without him snacking on some form of sweet or another. He snuck potato chips into the gym when training. He was constantly chewing gum when competing at video games with Cyborg. He used the chocolates to try – unsuccessfully – to bribe Raven into joining them for movie night, and sulkily ate them himself when it didn't work. He answered three consecutive crime alerts with the same lollipop stick protruding out of his mouth.
When the candy supply had finally run out, Beast Boy was starting to feel the effects; primarily, toothache. It was one of the few afflictions that Raven was incapable of healing, and so Robin had booked a private consultation with one of Jump City's dentists. Beast Boy had, for whatever reason, refused to attend alone, so Robin had taken on the responsibility of accompanying him to and from the appointment.
It had not gone well.
Before the dentist had even started, Beast Boy was clearly having a bad reaction to being there, and while Robin had offered to give him some privacy, his friend had insisted that Robin stay with him for the entire examination. He was reluctant to even open his mouth, and even more reluctant to let this stranger poke around inside of it with all of these unknown, scary instruments. Several times he recoiled like a spooked pet, and Robin had to reassure him that everything was alright before he let the medical professional continue.
Beast Boy's teeth were – surprisingly – healthy, for the most part, except for one small filling which would require a minor anaesthetic. Beast Boy had gulped at the news and whimpered "… An injection?" in the small, frightened voice of a child. It took Robin more than a few minutes to persuade Beast Boy to allow the dentist to proceed, even agreeing to let him hold Robin's hand for support, along with the promise that Robin would never tell the rest of the team that he had asked. Robin wasn't overly worried; although they appeared to be normal, Robin's gloves were heat-resistant, cold-resistant, and fitted with carbon-fibres and even localized Kevlar plating; this was how he could punch Cinderblock in the face without breaking his hand. He was sure that it would stand up to Beast Boy, no matter how worried his friend was.
…
Robin had already mentally made a note on the ride home to schedule an appointment for himself to see an orthopaedics expert. If none of his fingers were broken, he was at least certain that some of them were sprained.
Unfortunately, the wellbeing of his hand hadn't even been a worthy sacrifice, as Beast Boy had reacted so negatively to the sound of the drill that he swore that he was in pain before the dentist had even started. Counting on Beast Boy's apparent fear of needles, Robin said that if he was absolutely certain that he was in pain, they could always give him another dose of anaesthetic. He wasn't expecting Beast Boy to agree. Robin wasn't sure whether to spread the suffering to his other hand, or double-down on making sure that his first was injured, but luckily for him, Beast Boy was able to take the second injection with much less fuss, and the dentist was able to complete the filling within the next five minutes.
Then, just to test that the procedure had been completed successfully, Robin had Beast Boy briefly change forms. Immediately after turning into a dog, Beast Boy coughed and the metal filling, now loose, flew out of his mouth.
This had called for another dose of anaesthetic, a longer waiting period before testing, and exactly the same result. It was a medical risk to administer more of the same kind of anaesthetic, so the dentist switched to laughing gas, which was successful at least – once they had found the higher-than-average dosage required to work on Beast Boy's unique physiology – but the same could not be said for the filling.
After the third time the procedure had been attempted, the dentist noticed that the space where the filling was required already seemed to be repairing itself. Chalking it up to Beast Boy's healing factor, Robin thanked the dentist profusely for the effort and accompanied his drooling, drugged up friend out of the building. Robin had taken the R-Cycle here, while Beast Boy had taken a flight overhead as an eagle. Robin was going to take the R-Cycle back, while Beast Boy had taken… five times the recommended dosage of anaesthetic for a regular human of his age. Not that he was a regular human, but still.
Robin had first realised that something may have been wrong when Beast Boy spent the entire ride home making motorcycle noises, waving at random pedestrians – some who seemed to appreciate it, and some who… didn't – and asking if he could wear Robin's cape. He asked "Hey, why did we stop?" at every single traffic light, and then before Robin could answer, he would gasp "Robin, look!" and then point at something completely ordinary. A pigeon, a bench, and on one occasion, Robin himself.
By the time Robin had arrived home, he was sure that he felt a headache coming on, and had also given up and just removed his cape for Beast Boy to play with.
As he concluded his explanation, his gaze returned to Beast Boy and Starfire, who were apparently playing a version of Pat-A-Cake that he was making up on the spot, and yet she was consistently keeping pace with him.
"He is… extremely hopped up on all sorts of drugs and painkillers right now. I'm not sure exactly what effect it's going to have on him, or how long it's going to last, but if I had to guess-"
"RAVEN!" Beast Boy shouted in glee, spotting the empath and rushing towards her with a tackling hug. She remained standing, unresponsive and emotionless as he threw his arms around her and hugged her as if he hadn't seen her for years. Releasing her ever so slightly, he (loudly) whispered a question to her as if it was a private secret that he could only trust with her.
"… Have you seen my shoes?"
Raven glanced downwards, then looked back up with an exasperated sigh. "Have you checked on your feet?"
Beast Boy looked down and gasped melodramatically, then stared at Raven as if she had just performed a miracle. "… You're like a magical angel!" he confessed in awe, before his expression changed as if he had just remembered something. He turned back to the kitchen, where Starfire was preparing something. "STARSFIRED!" he screamed, abandoning Raven and running back to the Tamaranean as if he hadn't seen her literally five seconds ago.
Robin let out another sigh and rubbed his temple. "I would assume that he's going to be like this for a few hours. And while it's certainly… well, a lot to deal with, then he's not in his right mind, so…" his gaze landed on Raven, "let's maybe hold off on any, uh… manhandling. If he gets too much, I mean."
Raven frowned at the implication that she needed to be told not to physically injure her teammate when he clearly wasn't in the right headspace to know what he was doing. Although, now that she thought about it, if he had hugged her while in full possession of his mental faculties, and then asked her a stupidly trivial question, she would have likely thrown him over a piece of furniture or two.
"RAVENRAVENRAVENRAVENRAVEN!" yelled Beast Boy in one breath, somehow, popping up behind her holding a plate. "I made you something!"
Having barely resisted the urge to jump in alarm at his sudden reappearance, Raven looked down at the offering Beast Boy was making. On the dinner plate was a plain, single, unpeeled banana. Raven didn't have the energy to mask her confusion or irritation, but glancing up again at the boy, she could see that he was beaming with pride as if presenting her with the most fantastic gift of all-time. Mentally rolling her eyes, she accepted the plate from him.
"… Thank you, Beast Boy," she responded in monotone, unsure if he was even listening. His gaze had switched to Cyborg, and he immediately cackled like a supervillain, pointing a finger accusingly at his best friend.
"No bandanas for you!" he announced, before blowing a very enthusiastic raspberry at them all with enough force to spray them all with spittle. Raven flinched. Maybe Robin had been right to warn her not to raise her hands to him when he was like this.
Beast Boy giggled to himself, and then paused. "Hey, have you guys seen Starfire?" he asked, and then immediately turned and ran back to the kitchen before they could answer.
It was going to be a long evening.
.
No member of the Teen Titans had ever underestimated how valuable Starfire's contributions to the team were, but Robin, Raven and Cyborg were astounded and grateful in equal measure at the seemingly boundless energy she had for her green friend's antics. No matter how many times he behaved as if seeing her for the first time, she always returned his energy tenfold, and even when giving her bizarre, nonsensical instructions (he once shouted "Race you to the gym!" and took off running in the opposite direction, Robin's cape still billowing behind him, only for her to instinctively deduce exactly where he was heading and somehow never let him out of her sight, while still allowing him to win by the narrowest of margins,) she always seemed to know what he was doing, and why.
And so, while Beast Boy hopped around the tower like a hyperactive child, the rest of the team – sans Starfire – were able to mostly continue the evening in peace. Until that peace was shattered a few hours later. It seemed that Starfire's boundless energy had a boundary after all.
The door to the Common Room swished open, and in walked an oddly panting Starfire and an inexplicably energized Beast Boy. "Um… I have had a most fun time, playing, and chasing, and racing, and hiding, and seeking, and training, and cooking, with friend Beast Boy, but… I believe I must 'recharge', as they say." She confessed, collapsing onto the sofa with a heavy thud. The three remaining Titans looked warily at each other, none of them wanting to take on the job of looking after Beast Boy alone.
"Well…" Robin started diplomatically, "I'm sure that if all three of us kept an eye on him, we could probably-"
"SCOOT PLEASE!" shouted Beast Boy, hopping over the back of the couch and landing in the centre, a little too close to Raven for her liking. Before any of them had the chance to speak, he continued "Ooh! OOOH! I love this show!" before staring in rapt attention at the television screen, as if he had never seen anything so fascinating before in his life.
The television was off.
The team watched for a few seconds as Beast Boy continued to stare, awestruck, at the blank television screen. "Should… should we put something on?" Robin tried to whisper, but Beast Boy still heard him, raised a finger to his lips, and requested quiet.
"Sssssshhhh! Please, Cy. I'm trying to watch this!" he said, glaring towards Raven as he spoke.
Cyborg raised his hands as if admitting defeat. "Alright, that's enough for me… I think I'm gonna make dinner, pizza okay with everyone?"
The rest of the team murmured in approval, except for the changeling, his attention still transfixed onto the blank TV screen.
"What about you, Beast Boy? Want me to rustle you up some tofu burgers or something?"
And then, something most unexpected happened. Beast Boy stuck his tongue out in disgust and retched.
"Yeuck! No thanks Cy, that stuff is nasty!"
Raven dropped the tome she had been reading. Starfire raised her hands to her mouth in a horrified gasp as if she had just heard the most awful Tamaranean curse word. Cyborg's cybernetic eye fizzled and appeared to momentarily short out. Robin simply stared at his teammate in disbelief, but was the first to recover enough to voice his concern.
"… What did you say?"
"I said yuck! Tofu is all nasty and slimy, I hate it. Can you make me something else?"
Cyborg's mouth hung open in disbelief, his human eye darting to every one of his teammates as if to confirm that he hadn't misheard again. "Um… sure thing B, I'll… see what I can do." Cyborg immediately made a U-turn from walking to the kitchen and kneeled down next to Robin.
"What the hell is happening?" he whispered in panic.
Starfire quickly flew over and joined them "Oh, friends! What is going on? Is Beast Boy… dying?"
The sight of his crush in such a distressed state caused Robin to snap into action. "Of course not! We just… um…" he wanted to explain, but frankly there was no explanation for how his friend was acting. Even Raven was concerned.
"Wait, I have an idea," Robin proposed, before clearing his throat and addressing Beast Boy again. "Hey, Beast Boy, who in the tower would you say is the best at video games?"
Beast Boy thought for a second, and then replied calmly. "Cyborg. He definitely beats me more than I beat him."
Cyborg gasped in abject horror. While he was pleased to hear it, the sight of Beast Boy admitting that someone else was better than him at video games was an unnatural, uncanny abomination of a scene. The others were shocked as well, but Robin somehow found the peace of mind to continue.
"And out of the two of us, who would you say was the most… attractive to the opposite sex?"
Again, they would have expected Beast Boy to proudly pose and brag about how much the ladies loved his ears. Instead, he calmly admitted "Definitely you, Rob. I think we've fought more of your admirers than I have in total," he chuckled to himself, remembering the embarrassing problems that Kitten had caused for the team.
Robin went slightly red at the reminder, but turned to his team to explain the situation, having deduced the reason why Beast Boy was behaving so strangely.
"I've heard of this happening, but never actually seen it in person," he contemplated, stroking his chin.
"Heard of what?" Cyborg replied in alarm, desperate for answers for his best friend's strange behaviour.
Robin sighed. "It happens sometimes with medication, or in this case, anaesthetic. Essentially, Beast Boy doesn't have a filter right now. Completely unencumbered by ego or restraint, he'll admit to… basically anything right now."
"So, he is the alright?" Starfire asked in concern.
"Yes Starfire, he'll be absolutely fine. It'll probably pass before too long, we'll just need to keep an eye on him until it wears off."
"… So…" now that Cyborg's concern had been stymied, it was very quickly being replaced by excitement at the potential for mischief. "We could ask him anything, and he would have to tell us the truth?"
Robin frowned and folded his arms. "Yes, and before you ask, NO! Our private history is just that; private. Sure, Beast Boy might stick his nose into our business from time to time, and it might be tempting to think about getting some payback, but this would be a serious breach of trust! Beast Boy is our teammate and our friend, and as the leader of the team, I could not in good conscience let anyone take advantage of what – may I remind you – is essentially a medical condition at this point. Or at least a medical-adjacent one." When Robin was like this, there was no arguing with him.
Cyborg folded his arms back, as if to say 'Challenge accepted', and then asked Beast Boy the simplest question he knew that could change Robin's mind.
"Hey B, you ever pull any pranks on Robin that he never found out about?"
Beast Boy let out a long whistle before beginning to list them off. "Oh, gee… well, there was the onion powder in his hair gel, the alterations to the training schedule, the wanted posters in Mexico, the TED Talk that I gave disguised as him, uh… hmm, I think I still have the five hundred dollars that he wired me when I set up that phoney 'Justice League Online Apprenticeship' thing."
Cyborg smirked in triumph, while Robin didn't openly react, but was visibly gritting his teeth at the news. Eventually, he conceded defeat.
"… Alright. Five questions each and we call it a day."
.
The team were gathered around the oblivious Beast Boy as he continued watching the blank TV screen. Before they could ask their first question, he wiped a single tear from his eye and stated, clearly impressed "If Meryl Streep doesn't win an Oscar for this then I swear I am going to turn into a dragon and burn Hollywood to the ground!"
"Hey, Beast Boy, do you mind if we-"
"Shhhhh!" He hushed for a second, then threw his hands up melodramatically. "Ugh! Ad breaks. Alright, what did you guys want?" he seemed to be looking at them all without actually seeing them.
"Nothing big, we just wanted to ask you a few questions, if that's ok."
Even in his extremely anaesthetized state, Beast Boy was suspicious of Cyborg's far-too-innocent grin. But he was also too drugged up to his eyeballs to do anything about it.
"Sure, I guess."
"Great!" Cyborg began. "So, for starters… why don't you eat meat?"
"Because I'm not allowed, duh!" Beast Boy explained as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"… Alright," Cyborg continued, his question entirely unanswered. "But who said you weren't allowed?"
Beast Boy scratched his head. "Uh, Rito and Menta, I guess," he said, very confidently mixing up the names of his surrogate parents from the Doom Patrol.
Cyborg's eyes widened with intrigue. He didn't want to delve too far, but Beast Boy practically never discussed his time on the Doom Patrol. From what they could tell, he had fond memories of Rita, and… less-fond memories of Mento. The idea that they had also turned him off from eating meat was just another reason for Cyborg to dislike and distrust them.
"Why didn't they allow it?" he asked.
"Uh…" Beast Boy idly blew a raspberry while trying to remember, "They said something about it being unnatural because of my powers, but I think they just didn't want me getting any flashbacks."
"Flashbacks to what?" Cyborg asked before he could think it through.
"To the first time I ate meat, stupid," he replied impatiently, before raising a hand to block the view of his mouth from Cyborg, and then very loudly whispering to Starfire "Hey, is Cyborg okay? He's asking lots of really dumb questions…" under the impression that he was communicating in secret.
The rest of the team smirked at Beast Boy's disparaging remarks, while Cyborg grumbled to himself before continuing.
"What was so bad about the first time you ate meat?"
"I know, right?" Beast Boy replied in frustrated agreement. "It was fine! Tasted good. Nicest stuff that Bill and Grayson ever fed me, if I'm honest."
Robin bristled at the second name, but nobody noticed. Cyborg paused. "Who the heck are-"
"Cyborg." Raven cut him off, grabbing him by the arm and shaking her head stoically. Before he could even protest, she dragged him away, with Robin and Starfire trailing behind, while Beast Boy resumed watching his favourite show on the still-blank television screen.
"Rae, what the hell?" Cyborg protested with moderate annoyance, as she looked behind them to make sure that Beast Boy was still preoccupied. Leaning in close enough that she hoped he wouldn't hear – but not so close that Robin and Starfire couldn't hear her; she didn't want to have to repeat herself, after all – she explained herself.
"I think that you're getting close to something personal, and I think that you should drop this." Her voice left no room for debate, and yet Cyborg was still trying.
"I mean… it's just meat! I don't see why-"
"One," Raven interrupted, "He argues with you about meat literally every morning and he has never mentioned this. Two, we know that the Doom Patrol were worried that it would give him flashbacks. Three, 'the nicest stuff that Bill and Grayson ever fed me'?" She looked at Cyborg as if expecting him to put the pieces together. Unfortunately, for all of his technological genius, Cyborg had never been any good at jigsaws.
Sensing his hesitation, she leaned in closer.
"I don't think that he's talking about animal meat." She whispered.
Their reactions differed. Starfire looked horrified. Robin began measuring what they knew, as if trying to calculate the likelihood that Raven was correct, before the clear look of unease told them all that he had deduced that it was more plausible than he had anticipated. Cyborg remained in denial.
"Wh… what? But… he-" he stammered.
"And I don't think he had a choice about it," Raven concluded sympathetically. Cyborg looked stunned, as if replaying every argument the two best friends had ever had about meat and tofu, but now with the knowledge that the undertones may have been much more sinister than he ever realised. "So… we're dropping this." Raven emphasized, not angrily – after all, this could hardly have been pleasant for Cyborg either – but firmly leaving the matter closed.
"Raven's right," added Robin, "I think maybe it's time to stop this game and-"
A high-pitched whine from his left distracted him. Starfire was pouting with her adorable trademark puppy dog eyes again, and unfortunately for him, everyone knew that as stubborn as Robin could be, there would always be a huge, Starfire-shaped hole in his otherwise impenetrable defences.
Robin sighed and ran his gloved hand through his hair. "Alright, but let's keep it light from now on. I think Cyborg's questions are all done."
Cyborg protested half-heartedly, but was relieved enough that he hadn't spoiled the activity for everyone as they returned to the bemused changeling, who was torn between his apparent favourite TV show, and the curious thing his friends had been whispering about on the other side of the room.
"Friend! I have some more questions for you, if you do not mind?" Starfire bubbled with glee, which only peaked when Beast Boy shrugged and then nodded.
"Sure, Star."
"Wonderful!" she announced, floating a few inches off the ground before gently lowering herself. "Well, I suppose I would like to ask; do you, like me, have a-"
Starfire had been intending to ask a question beginning with 'do you, like me,' as in 'do you, similar to me, have a favourite song, film or kitchen condiment?' Unfortunately, all that Beast Boy had heard was 'do you like me,' before he gasped in horror.
"Do I… like you? Wh… why would you even ask something like that? Of course I like you, Stamsfider!" he reassured, tears growing in his eyes as he opened his arms for a hug.
"Oh, no! I merely wished to inquire…" Starfire trailed off as she saw the sincere look of remorse on his face, as if he had genuinely been led to believe that she had doubted whether he liked her. At this, she momentarily abandoned her question and embraced him in the tightest hug that she could muster that wouldn't injure him; which still meant considerably holding back on her end. Still, it seemed to ease his worries, and he was smiling again as she released him. Even in his medically intoxicated state, his worry for his friends was as sincere and charming as ever.
"Ahem!" Starfire cleared her throat before resuming her question. "Do you… in a manner much like I do, have a favourite villain?"
It was a decent question, and Beast Boy wracked his head for an answer, eventually requiring clarification.
"Favourite as in, I like fighting them? Or favourite as in… I like them?"
Starfire thought for a second. "Both! But maybe first, the one that you enjoy fighting?"
As Beast Boy mulled this question over, Robin sidled closer to Starfire to ask his own question under his breath.
"Do you have a favourite villain to fight?"
"Yes!" Starfire whispered back.
"Who?"
Starfire's eyes glowed a furious green. "Kitten." Robin gulped loudly and took a step away, waiting for Beast Boy to answer.
Eventually, the changeling came to a conclusion. "I think… Adonis. He's tough enough that I can go all out without having to worry. I mean, if I stepped on Gizmo as an elephant." Beast Boy slapped his hands together as if crushing an ant and blew yet another raspberry. "Deadsies. But Adonis, you don't have to worry about that." He paused, and then continued more enthusiastically. "And you don't have to feel bad about it either, because he's such a huge jerk! I mean… he literally chose the name 'Adonis'! He seriously named himself after the most beautiful man in history! What an asswipe."
While it wasn't particularly mature, the other Titans all enjoyed Beast Boy's blunt appraisal of one of their most obnoxious foes. Starfire was quick to steer to conversation back, though.
"And which villain do you like the most?"
Beast Boy exhaled thoughtlessly, flapping his lips. "Uh… I could probably talk to Control Freak for a couple of hours. As long as he took a shower first." He answered honestly, but apathetically.
Robin was next, and while it could have been idle curiosity, knowing him, it could have just as easily been an attempt to find an area where Beast Boy lacked confidence in combat so that his leader could adjust his training regimen accordingly. "Alright, do you have a least-favourite villain to fight?"
There were plenty to choose from. Plasmus smelled like raw sewage. Cinderblock could pack a punch. It was rare for Slade not to leave at least one member of the team seriously injured. And they all knew deep down that the changeling harboured a special resentment for Malchior. But they had overlooked one other personal villain, who Beast Boy had found most unenjoyable to fight against.
"… Terra." Beast Boy answered, quietly but emphatically. Robin was immediately sorry that he'd asked.
"Ah… sorry Beast Boy, I didn't…"
Whether he was trying to dig Robin out of that hole, or he had questions of his own now that the topic had been broached, Cyborg interrupted.
"Do you still think about her much, B?" There was no teasing, just the genuine concern of a friend.
Beast Boy shifted in his seat. "Not as much as I used to. There was a time when…" he drifted off, his eyes uncomfortably gazing into the middle distance. "Nah. Not important. Things change," he solemnly repeated the last thing she had said to him.
Whether to try to lift the mood, or remind his friend of the better times, Cyborg immediately took the more embarrassing approach.
"So… how far did you and Terra go?" Cyborg asked nosily. Raven frowned as if irritated on Beast Boy's behalf, and maybe a little on her own, for reasons that she did not want to explain or acknowledge.
"She was my first kiss," Beast Boy admitted. Raven felt the urge from one of her emotions to explode something in a rage; preferably, Cyborg.
"Oh? How'd it go?" Cyborg asked, wiggling his eyebrows.
"Honestly? Uh, she…" Beast Boy absentmindedly scratched the back of his head in reluctant embarrassment.
"She kind of tasted like dirt."
"PFFFAAH!" one member of the team guffawed, an unstoppable, uncontrollable belly-laugh. To the surprise of all, it was Raven, who immediately slapped her hands over her mouth in embarrassment, blushing lightly. Even Beast Boy, in his state of questionable awareness, had been taken by surprise by her sudden outburst.
"… Sorry," the dark empath apologized in monotone, the glare that she shot at her teammates practically daring them to ask about what they had just witnessed. All of them, even Beast Boy, were smart enough to let it drop.
"So… how do you feel about Terra now?" Starfire asked curiously. Despite being one of the more openly emotional members of the team, Beast Boy also kept his most private feelings very close to his chest.
Beast Boy shrugged again. "I think… I think that she taught me a valuable lesson," he said cryptically. His teammates watched him expectantly until he reluctantly elaborated.
"My whole life, I… well, not my whole life, but ever since the accident, I-" he stuttered and stumbled over his words, backpedalling awkwardly. "I felt like a freak. A stupid, ugly green freak." He said candidly, not a hint of his usual humour or the spark of joy that his presence was known to bring. "Not strong enough, not smart enough, not… not good enough." The hearts of the team began to sink; Robin would have told him to stop if Beast Boy hadn't continued.
"And then, Terra came along." He smiled mournfully, as if reading the happy start to a story that he knew would end sadly. "She thought I was funny, and cool, and… and somehow, cute," he laughed softly to himself. "I just couldn't believe that she liked me, that anyone could like me that way. But, apparently she did. She… she made me feel like I was worth something." As much as Raven had hated Terra for betraying them, knowing that she had made Beast Boy feel this way, it was hard to hate everything about her.
The morose smile never wavered from Beast Boy's face as he changed the context completely.
"And then… she tried to murder us all." He laughed as if reaching the punchline to a dark joke. "I should've seen it coming. It was obvious, really. That was the lesson."
None of them were happy to hear this from their consistently happy-go-lucky friend, the unstoppable positive force that could overcome any immovable object. But only Starfire had the courage to ask for clarification.
"… What was the lesson?" she asked apprehensively.
Beast Boy looked straight at her, still smiling sorrowfully. The smile didn't reach his eyes, but the sorrow did.
"She taught me to trust my instincts. That if something seems unbelievable… it probably is. I should've known that something was off the moment she called me cute. Dead giveaway, right?" he laughed humourlessly to himself.
Raven's previous reluctant appreciation for what Terra had done was rapidly replaced by an overwhelming urge to find her and make her suffer, and if she had not been distracted by the tears forming in Beast Boy's eyes – not that his smile faltered – she may well have acted on it.
"For the record," Starfire cut in, an odd mixture of fury and compassion. She was acting on her urge to comfort her friend in a similar way to Raven, albeit her method involved much less violence, "I believe that you are worth a great deal to all of us. And I also think that you are rather handsome." She said commandingly. Beast Boy's false smile grew ever so slightly, as if he appreciated what Starfire was saying, but couldn't bring himself to believe it.
"Can we talk about something else?" he asked quietly. "This is kind of bumming me out.
That seemed to shock the Titans back to their senses, and Cyborg rushed to respond. "S-sure thing B! Let's, hmm… do you want to talk about anything?"
"Actually, I think maybe it's time for the conversation to end," Robin announced authoritatively, folding his arms as he did so. Starfire and Raven seemed to agree.
"What? No!" Cyborg protested weakly, unsatisfied that this excursion had resulted in far more depressing revelations than anticipated. "Hey B, uh… you got any other little crushes we should know about?"
"Cyborg!" Raven admonished with an angry whisper. To his credit, the metallic man raised his hands as if offended that Raven suspected that he had less-than honourable goals.
"So that we can help to hook them up?" he whispered back to Raven, and while the idea of Beast Boy 'hooking up' with someone filled her with a momentary pang of vicious envy, she could tell that Cyborg's good intentions were completely sincere.
"Nah," Beast Boy made the matter irrelevant with a casual shake of the head. "No little crushes, Cy."
Cyborg was disappointed, but at least he had tried. He was about to ask Beast Boy if he was ready to head to bed, when suddenly,
"… Got a big crush on someone though," Beast Boy casually admitted, as if discussing the weather.
Cyborg gasped as if Christmas had come early. "OOH! Anyone we know?"
Beast Boy sleepily nodded, and Cyborg was about to ask more questions when Raven's hand shot over his mouth. Cyborg's protests were muffled, but the rest of the team could clearly tell that he was attempting to say that he was only trying to help.
"Cyborg," Raven began icily, in a way that immediately shut him up. "This is none of our business. Especially if it's someone we know."
Cyborg lowered Raven's hand. "If it's someone we know, we could help set them up!"
Raven once again leaned closer, trying to avoid Beast Boy from hearing what she was about to say.
"What if it's Starfire?"
Cyborg paused. He had never considered that, but… it was certainly plausible. She was bubbly, energetic, and a phenomenal beauty. Beast Boy definitely enjoyed her company, and he would be both blind and mad to think that she was unattractive. And yet, while Robin had taken his sweet time in working up the nerve to say anything to her, they were now officially an unofficial couple. The last thing Titans Tower needed was a love triangle, especially one that had been forced out of Beast Boy while he was incapable of lying.
Cyborg reluctantly relented, just as Beast Boy let out an impressive yawn.
"Alright, I think I'm gonna hit the forty winks before I nod out," he mumbled, mixing his metaphors into a barely comprehensible mess. The other Titans were more than happy to leave this exercise in the past, except for one, still desperate to get at least one positive thing out of the experience.
"Hey B, wait up just a sec," Cyborg butted in, while Raven groaned at his stubbornness and placed her head in her hands. "You said earlier that I was the best in the Tower at video games, right?"
Beast Boy nodded in fatigue and apathy.
"Well… who do you think is the smartest out of all of us?" he asked, beaming proudly and puffing his shiny metal chest out, as if expecting praise.
To his surprise, Beast Boy hesitated as if considering something, and then replied with a question of his own.
"Book-smart, or like, wise?"
Cyborg paused too, wondering which category he was more likely to win. "Book-smart."
Beast Boy immediately pointed at his choice. "Raven."
Cyborg frowned. "Alright, wise then."
Beast Boy's arm dropped for a moment, and then resumed an identical position. "Raven."
"Then why did you-" Cyborg cut himself off before he could reveal his annoyance. His plan had worked, and the mood in the room had lightened considerably, but at his expense. To her credit, Raven didn't seem to be in a gloating mood, but the small hint of a blush on her cheeks revealed that she was pleasantly surprised that Beast Boy held her in such high regard.
"Alright, how about… the strongest?"
"Raven."
"The toughest?"
"Raven."
"The funniest?" Cyborg pleaded desperately. Raven wasn't known for her sense of humour.
"… Raven," Beast Boy replied immediately.
"Wha- really?" Cyborg reacted in genuine surprise.
"Yeah. And she's like… smart-funny too. Sometimes she'll insult me so creatively that I kind of feel like I learned something," he admitted honestly. Raven was flattered by his comments… and remorseful that the first situation that had come to his mind was her insulting him.
"Alright…" Cyborg admitted defeat. "What about… the person you admire the most?"
Beast Boy had to stop and think about that one, which gave Cyborg just a glimmer of hope... before his best friend smirked and raised his hand again to point at the blue-cloaked empath, whose blush was steadily growing.
"Seriously?" Cyborg responded in frustration, before adding a hasty, panicked "Uh, no offense Rae."
"Yeah, I – can we talk about this?" Beast Boy suddenly seemed re-energized again and sat back down on the couch. "Can we talk about how insane it is that Raven is so frickin' cool?" Raven's blush intensified as she shrank back into her seat in embarrassment, but Beast Boy was too excited to care.
"I mean, she's raised in this other dimension where she has to restrain her emotions, and told all of this stuff about Trigon, and being a portal, and like, bringing about the end of the world!" He waved his arms dramatically as if recounting the plot to a Halloween film. "And – and then she gets sent to Earth, and she's all alone with these powers in this new world, and what's the very first thing that she does?"
He stared at the team like a schoolteacher asking a question to the class, while they stayed silent, not wanting to answer incorrectly. Beast Boy brushed it off and charged onwards.
"She helps people. That upbringing, and the Trigon stuff, and she still helps people. Because she just knows that it's the right thing to do. That's legit incredible." It was unclear if Beast Boy even realised that Raven was present while he gushed her praises. "That's a real hero. I just – no offense to the guy, but Superman could learn a thing or two about being a hero from Raven. She's amazing. She inspires me." Raven was blushing so hard that her face could have doubled as a fog light. What made it all the more embarrassing is that it was clear to everyone just how honest and sincere he was being. The twinkle in his eye that had vanished when the conversation had turned to Terra was back now, and stronger than ever. She had no idea that he thought so highly of her; undoubtedly higher than she thought of herself.
Whether to dissuade the tension after Beast Boy's passionate rambling, or to offput some of the shame he felt at being upstaged, or just to tease his friend, Cyborg made a flippant remark that would have severe consequences.
"… Geez, sounds like maybe it's Raven you have a crush on," he chuckled to himself.
"Oh, shut up," Raven replied, elbowing him in the ribs – and hurting her arm more than she hurt him – but not intending to cause any serious pain. They both recognized it as a joke, and the entire reason that Cyborg felt comfortable making a joke like that is that he knew how outlandish, how ridiculous, how borderline impossible it would be for Beast Boy – Beast Boy – to have romantic feelings for Ra-
"Yeah, I totally do," Beast Boy carelessly confirmed with a faraway look in his eyes.
…
Starfire was stunned into silence. Robin, who was prepared for anything, wasn't prepared for this. Cyborg's systems froze. Raven couldn't believe what she had just heard, and asked Beast Boy to repeat himself, just to confirm what he had actually said, whatever it had been that she had misheard, because… she must have misheard. There was no way that he… that he had just said-
"Wh-what did you say?" she barely eked out.
"I have the biggest crush on Raven," Beast Boy calmly reconfirmed. "I mean… how could I not?" he added with a huge dopey grin. Unaware of the bombshell he had dropped on his teammates, he continued fondly.
"She's brave, and smart – so smart! – and kind, and… she always knows just what to say. And she's, like, the prettiest girl I've ever met."
If Raven had been glowing like a fog light before, it was safe to say that she now resembled two fog lights.
"Like… just her hair, and the way that she moves; she does everything with purpose, you know? And – and have you seen her fight? Especially when she thinks she's lost control, but she hasn't. It is insane how cool she is. Bad. Ass." He concluded with the same dopey grin, his thesis delivered.
Raven's utter embarrassment – both her own and on Beast Boy's behalf – was only overwhelmed by one curiosity. From what she had heard, she already knew the answer, but she had to hear it from him directly to be sure. She hoped that she was wrong.
"If… if all of this is true," Raven said shakily, still in disbelief, "then why haven't you told her?"
Beast Boy laughed, and this time, the smile did reach his eyes, not that it made what he had to say any less miserable.
"Are you serious? Raven's… Raven is perfect. She's like, an angel. Like, seriously, an actual, real-life angel. She's the most awesome person I know. And I'm…" he smiled sadly and held up an arm as if to confirm his identity.
"I'm me. I'm a circus freak. I have fangs and pointy ears; I'm green for Christ's sake," he listed, and Raven felt a pit of despair open in her stomach as she realised that he was repeating at least some of these remarks directly from her. She had never known that this was how he felt about himself. If she had, she would never have… "I'm nothing," he carried on, unemotionally, as if reporting an objective fact.
"Raven deserves the best," he outlined emphatically, and then grinned sadly to himself, "And that's about as far away from me as you can get." He laughed at his own statement, not that he thought it was a joke.
"… I wouldn't be so sure," Raven nervously spoke up, so quietly that her team could barely hear her, and Beast Boy barrelled on regardless.
"One day… when I'm gone, I hope she finds someone who makes her happy. Someone worthy of her. Not that I've ever met anyone like that," Beast Boy trailed off, staring out of the Common Room window and into the evening sky.
"When you're gone?" Starfire questioned. "Are you going somewhere?"
Beast Boy chuckled again; the fact that he found this all genuinely amusing only made his words more unsettling.
"Nah, I just mean, like… our job is pretty dangerous, right? And we all know I'm gonna be the first one to bite it."
They weren't sure what worried them more; the way that he said it so casually, or the fact that he must have previously thought about this.
"I mean, I'm the stupid one, the reckless one. One day I'm going to jump in, or not pay attention, and I'll just… screw up, you know?" he proposed with a half-hearted shrug, as if already convinced that what he was saying was destined to come to pass. "It's what I do."
"… Please don't talk like that," Starfire replied, tears forming in her own eyes.
"No! No, I mean… it's for the best, right?" Beast Boy explained, with the same sincere smile on his face, but tears welling in his own eyes too. "I just hope you can find someone cool to replace me. Someone… someone who can keep up with Robin in a spar. And who doesn't upset Star with their stupid pranks. Someone who can fix things with Cy, instead of breaking them all the time. And…" he gulped as his mind went to Raven, tears now openly streaming down his face.
"Someone who Raven can talk to. Like, really talk to. Someone smart. Someone who can make her laugh, bring her out of her shell. Someone who she actually enjoys being around. Who doesn't just annoy her and get in her way all the time. Someone… someone who isn't worthless. Someone who she would actually miss if they were gone. Someone… someone-" his smile remained, but his voice broke. He didn't need to say the words for them to know what he had meant.
Someone who can succeed where I failed.
"Hey… B," Cyborg pleaded, just as upset as everyone else. "Don't say stuff like that, man."
Beast Boy was crying and laughing in the most distressing way to watch, idly amused yet openly despondent at his future. "No, it's fine! Like… I'm sure that everyone would be sad for a little while. It's practically an obligation. But, once that's done…" his tears were overflowing like twin waterfalls running down his cheeks, "A day will come. A day when the obligation is over, and everyone is just sitting at the table, and they'll realise. They'll realise that everything is quieter, more peaceful, that everyone is working better together. No-one is annoyed any more. No-one is arguing. Everything is just… better. And the only difference is that someone is gone. They don't have to put up with that, stupid, worthless, piece of shit-"
"Stop!" Raven commanded, tears running down her own face; she was far from the only one. Beast Boy abandoned the sentence, but finished his vision nonetheless.
"… and no-one will even have to say it, but they'll all be thinking it. They'll all know. 'I'm glad he's dead. It's for the best.'"
Everyone except Raven and Beast Boy jumped as the microwave exploded some distance behind them in the kitchen. The burst of dark energy both preceding and following it didn't make it difficult to see why; Raven had felt such a pure, intense fury at whoever would dare to describe one of her dearest friends in the manner that she was hearing… and yet, the person describing them was that same dearest friend. And she got the feeling that taking her anger out on him would only reinforce what he believed about himself, so she has chosen a suitable substitute. No-one dared call out her momentary loss of control.
With his story finished, and his tears subsiding – he hadn't stopped, he had simply run out – he took in the view of his teammates in mild confusion. They all appeared to be crying and he didn't know why.
"Hey, guys? What's up?" he asked in genuine concern, completely unable to reconcile their reactions to the horrible feelings he had just confessed about himself.
The team were speechless. They had each individually suspected that Beast Boy's cocky attitude was possibly a front for his insecurities, but they had no idea just how deep those insecurities ran. He sounded almost optimistic at describing the possibility of his own death. Completely ignorant of the worry that he had caused them, Beast Boy wiped his eyes on his sleeves and the same vacant grin as before returned to his face.
"Can I go to bed now? I don't want to play this game anymore."
Cyborg – whose human eye was leaking, but seemed the most emotionally stable after what they had heard – hurriedly got to his feet.
"Y-yeah, sure thing man. I'll take you to your room."
"Thanks Cy," Beast Boy replied with a warm, sleepy smile. He rose from his seat, took a few steps forwards, and then paused suddenly and addressed the team in a sudden anxious seriousness.
"Um… nobody tell this to Raven, please. I really don't want to bother her with all this. She has better things to do than worry about my stupid feelings." He requested, eyeing the team as they each pulled themselves together to express agreement. They all appeared to be rather distracted, but he had no idea what caused such a thing. Cyborg put an arm around his friend's shoulder and began to guide him out of the room, but Beast Boy stopped as he passed Raven. His eyes froze as they landed on her, and he slowly raised an arm to point towards her once again. They all hoped that he hadn't regained his senses at the worst possible moment.
"… And you especially don't tell Raven. Because if Raven tells Raven, then that means that both Ravens know, and that's like, twice as bad."
Before he could speak more nonsense, Raven flung herself towards him and embraced him tightly, feeling his warmth, his sadness, and his confusion. Overwhelming confusion.
"Rae? What's wrong? Are you ok?" he asked nervously, only barely working up the courage to hug her back.
Raven didn't respond, simply holding him close, hoping that her actions could somehow express what she doubted that she could ever do in words. She shook slightly as another tear ran down her cheek.
"Hey… hey," Beast Boy cut in, hugging her back more strongly now. "It's okay. Don't be sad. Everything's going to be ok, Raven." He meant every word that he said, but still sounded unsure why he was saying it.
Raven released him just enough to look him in the eyes. He was still confused, as if he had absolutely no idea what he had just said, what he had just confessed to, or why openly relishing the prospect of his own death could possibly make her upset. That lack of understanding broke her heart, but it also told her that any attempt to fix this right now would be a lost cause.
Raven turned away from him, forced her emotions down harder than she ever had before, and once again made herself sound as emotionless as possible. "I'm fine. Go to bed, Beast Boy."
He didn't seem to buy it, but with a friendly "Come on, buddy," Cyborg placed an arm on his shoulder and directed him out of the room. As they left, she could still hear his worried whispers, asking Cyborg what was wrong, and if she would be okay, and if it was because of something that he had done. Which he had, but not quite in a way that he would have understood.
As soon as they were gone, Raven made her way to the kitchen counter and collapsed on the closest stool, letting the tears spill freely. Starfire was there in an instant, a comforting hand on her shoulder, not knowing what to say – or wisely deciding not to say anything – but providing company while Raven let it all out. Robin remained on the couch as if preoccupied, fiddling with his communicator in his own world.
Cyborg had been worried that he would have missed the start of an important conversation, but none of them had even said a word by the time he returned, each glancing to him for an update as the door to the Common Room opened.
"He's down," Cyborg confirmed, in more ways that one. "As soon as he stopped worrying about you," he added, shooting Raven what he hoped was a friendly smile, "then he pretty much passed out on his feet." Raven didn't react to his words, other than to wipe her eyes on her cloak, her horror at Beast Boy's self-esteem – or lack thereof – coming to an end.
Since nobody responded, Cyborg continued, summing up the emotional state of everyone in the room. "I just… I didn't expect that from the green bean, y'know?"
"I believe that none of us were expecting some of the things that he said," Starfire added weakly, clearly not just referring to the confession of his feelings towards Raven.
Robin finally looked up from his communicator. "I have an idea." Typical Robin, always oriented on the solution, but at least it gave them something else to talk about.
"You guys know Black Canary?" he asked. Cyborg nodded, Raven half-nodded, and Starfire paused, unfamiliar with the name.
"Yeah, she's Justice League, right?" Cyborg asked back. Robin nodded in confirmation.
"Well, not just that. She's also a trained therapist. If I get in touch with Batman, I could have her come down for a visit and really get into some of the-" Robin wasn't sure how to describe the problem of Beast Boy's mental wellbeing, and eventually chose the vague but diplomatic approach, "-issues that he's been having."
"Won't he suspect something?" Raven inquired, having composed herself – at least, externally – enough to speak.
"That's the thing," Robin replied hesitantly. "I don't want to tip him off, so I think it might be better if we tell him that it's a League idea to make sure that we're all doing okay. She could visit more than once, or even stick around for a while. And if anyone else wants to actually have a chat with her, I'm sure that she'd be more than happy to listen."
He looked at each of his teammates for approval, and they each nodded in turn. Raven was the most reluctant, wanting to handle this herself, but despite her abilities as an empath, she hadn't even known that he was experiencing these intrusive thoughts. Robin opened his communicator and began to type. He didn't enjoy relying on Batman for help, but right now he would rather engage in menial busywork than think about what he had just learned about his friend.
"Hey. How you holding up, sis?" Cyborg asked quietly, approaching Raven.
"Not great," she replied honestly, with a weak smile, "It's a lot to take in."
"Yeah…" Cyborg replied awkwardly, sitting down next to her. "About that." Raven didn't respond, waiting for him to continue.
"I seriously had no idea that B was into you like that. I didn't mean to…" he trailed off, unsure how to explain himself.
"It's ok," Raven reassured him, "I wouldn't have expected it either."
"Yeah, well…" Cyborg hesitated. "Yeah." There wasn't much to say, especially when neither of them had really processed what they had heard. And especially when Raven had more to process than anyone else.
"I just…" Cyborg resumed "just… don't feel pressured into anything, alright?"
While his concern was genuine, there was something about the implication that upset her. The thought that she could be pressured into doing anything that she didn't want to, perhaps. Or maybe that any action she could take in relation to Beast Boy's unexpected feelings for her would have to be the result of feeling pressured. It couldn't possibly be that she liked him too.
She shook her head. She was getting overly defensive of her friend. She had never even considered those kinds of feelings towards Beast Boy. Sure, he was thoughtful, and kind, and considerate, and hearing about his kiss with Terra had stirred an unexplained rage within her, and he was maybe kind of cute, and finding out that he thought so lowly about himself made her want to hug him and never let go, because he never gave up on her, even when she felt like giving up on herself… but none of those things meant that she liked him, right?
R-right?
Raven abruptly stood up. "I think I'm going to head for bed too. I need to meditate."
Raven began to depart for her room, and then paused. The mood in the room could have hardly been lower. Cheering people up wasn't exactly her forte, but…
"Hey," she commanded their attention, or at least politely requested it, "I know that we heard some things that we didn't want to hear, but… the more that we know, the more that we can help him. He doesn't have to suffer in silence any more. I think… I think this could be good for him. In the long run." She sounded as confident as she felt – that is, not at all – but she wasn't lying. Now that they knew that Beast Boy was struggling, it was definitely preferable for them to awkwardly find out than for him to continue to keep his troubles bottled up. Raven looked at each of her friends, and they looked back appreciatively; not quite uplifted or convinced, but acknowledging her attempt to lift their spirits. Before any of them could reply further, she raised her hood and silently departed to her room.
She hadn't been lying about needing to meditate.
.
THUMP. THUMP. THUMP
Beast Boy didn't know what that horrendous sound was, but he wished more than anything that it would stop. He was aware of it before he was awake; for all he knew, it was what had woken him up to begin with. His head ached, his eyelids felt too heavy to open, and that horrible stomping sound kept going, as if someone wearing diving boots was trying to tap-dance on his bedroom floor.
Reluctantly, he opened his eyes and winced immediately at the harsh sunlight assaulting his vision. Rolling onto his side in an attempt to escape the sun's rays, he caught a glimpse of the blaring neon light of his alarm clock. It was three o'clock in the afternoon. He wondered why no-one had woken him, especially Robin, who would be fuming that he had slept in for so long. Robin… who had accompanied him to the dentist yesterday, where some things had happened that he couldn't quite remember, and then he returned home, and… the remainder of yesterday was an indecipherable blur.
THUMP. THUMP. THUMP
Beast Boy looked down and realised the source of the horrific thumping noise. It appeared to be his heartbeat. That probably wasn't a good sign.
Groggily swinging his legs over the side of his bed, Beast Boy made the supreme effort to get to his feet, and almost crashed back onto his bed immediately, only barely catching himself on a chair. His headache was subsiding and the lights were becoming less blinding, but not nearly quickly enough for his liking. Stopping at the bathroom to brush his teeth and splash some cold water onto his face – not that it helped – he braved the long journey to the Common Room.
As he walked through the door, four pairs of eyes swivelled in his direction.
"Hey, look who's up!" Cyborg greeted, a little too loudly for Beast Boy's liking, who winced at his deep voice.
"… Hey," Beast Boy announced weakly. "Good mor- I mean, good afternoon," he mumbled, stumbling his way towards the couch, more to grab onto something on his way to the kitchen than for anything else.
"Hey Beast Boy," greeted back Robin at a more reasonable volume. "How are you feeling?"
"Been better," he croaked, rubbing his throat. "So… how did things go at the dentist?"
"Not bad, not bad," Robin lied. "You were pretty out of it by the end. Pretty much just… came home and crashed." Beast Boy was a little worried about what Robin had meant by 'pretty much', but right now he had more pressing matters to attend to, like fetching a glass of cold water and then collapsing somewhere comfortable, like his bed, or the couch. Or the floor.
As he approached the kitchen countertop, Beast Boy spotted Raven and froze. As one blurry memory worked its way back into his mind, he blushed in embarrassment at what he suspected he had done, especially since he wasn't sure if it had really occurred or not.
"… Raven?" he asked nervously.
"Yes?" she replied impassively, her emotions shrieking in alarm just beneath the surface.
"Did… did I…" he stammered, "… did I give you a banana?"
Raven couldn't contain her smirk. "Yes, Beast Boy. You seemed rather proud of yourself."
He groaned in humiliation, taking a seat at the table – making sure to leave a few spaces between them, as he was sure that was what she would prefer – and holding his head in his hands. As amused as she was at his discomfort, she wanted to reassure him that he hadn't made much of a fool of himself… in her own way.
"Don't be upset," she continued, still smirking, "I had no idea you were so concerned about my potassium intake." Beast Boy groaned again, but was relieved to see that she was taking the incident in good humour. Before he could say anything more, Cyborg placed a plate in front of him, a freshly-cooked hot dog with steam still rising from the bun.
"Ugh, really Cy? I'm not in the mood to…" he looked more closely at the plate. It wasn't uncommon for Cyborg to taunt him by placing a mouth-watering meat-laden meal before him first thing in the morning, and it was frequently what kicked off their meat VS tofu arguments. But as Beast Boy peered closer, it was clear to see… Cyborg had made him a tofu dog.
Cyborg never made him tofu dogs.
Beast Boy eyed Cyborg as if he had grown an extra head. His best friend tried to play it off as no big deal.
"Hey, just seems like you had a rough morning is all. I'll be back to bugging you to have a real breakfast tomorrow," he lied.
Beast Boy's eyes narrowed, and he inspected the tofu dog for all signs of potential traps. Eventually, with great trepidation, he took a small bite… and concluded that it was fine. Better than fine, actually. He frowned at the realisation the Cyborg might be better at cooking tofu than he was.
"Oh, Beast Boy, now that you're here…" Robin began, and while he was a master of deduction and detective work, acting clearly wasn't his strong point. "We got a message from the Justice League earlier today. There was a recent incident, and…" he looked at Starfire as if forgetting his lines, "well, they want to take extra measures to make sure that we're all doing okay… mentally speaking." Robin twiddled his thumbs, which he never did, as Beast Boy watched him in confusion. Robin awkwardly cleared his throat and turned around to avoid revealing his reddening face. "The point is, Black Canary will be visiting us at some point in the near future, and we're all going to have individual chats with her, just to catch up and make sure that we're doing alright. Is that ok?"
Beast Boy didn't understand why Robin only seemed to be asking him – he expected Robin's concern to be on Raven, more than anyone else – but he accepted the idea in good nature.
"Yeah Rob. That sounds fine," he acknowledged disinterestedly. He didn't notice Robin let out a huge sigh of relief.
Rubbing his head, he continued to grumble. "If this is what a hangover feels like, I don't understand why anyone drinks," he murmured, as Cyborg began to fetch him a glass and water and some painkillers. He placed them before the changeling, who nodded in appreciation, before Raven made her own offering too. Beast Boy watched in confusion as she slid a plate over to him, which just contained… a single, unpeeled banana.
His face broke out into a grin. "Th-thank you, Raven," he chuckled.
"Just in case you're still hungry afterwards," she deadpanned, albeit with a smile. "And now we're even."
She grabbed her herbal tea and stood up to leave, timidity overwhelming the rest of her senses in spite of the task she had given herself… until the rest of her emotions, in unison, forced her to a stop. Even Timid was silence by the gentle reassurance that he couldn't possibly turn her down; he had already confirmed that he liked her. The only way that he would say no would be out of the belief that he wasn't good enough for her, and Raven was more than happy to tear that ridiculous notion to shreds.
She approached him with an unreadable expression, still holding her mug of tea, and coughed softly to let him know that she wanted his attention.
He jumped in his seat a little, then sighed and sorely rubbed the back of his head. It seemed he really wasn't lying about this hangover.
"Hey," he croaked, "Can I… help you?"
Internally, all of her emotions – even Rage – took a deep breath at once, focussing all of their energy on helping Raven to appear relaxed and natural, when under the surface, this couldn't be further from the truth.
"I just wanted to check if we were still on for Friday," she asked dryly, taking a sip of tea.
She let the amusingly blank expression sit on Beast Boy's face for at least three seconds before raising an eyebrow questioningly. "Did you forget?"
Beast Boy rallied all of his brain cells to work together to create the most intelligent answer that he was capable of. It came out as, "… Buh?"
Raven smirked. Just because she was being nice didn't mean that she couldn't have a little fun. "Last night. I was reading in bed, just about to go to sleep, when you practically broke my door down knocking on it. You said that there was some vegetarian café you wanted to go to, just the two of us."
Beast Boy's face reddened so suddenly and so deeply that for the moment, he no longer looked green. "What… like a date?" the words barely squeaked out.
"I believe that was the word you used, yes," she replied with the same amused smile.
Beast Boy was mortified. How could he get out of this? Blame the anaesthetic for making him do something stupid? No, he didn't want to make the mistake of sounding as though asking out Raven was stupid, even though it was; not because he didn't want to, but because he knew that she would never say yes. He could play the whole thing off as a joke? She would be angry at him, but it was better than her knowing the truth. She deserved better, much better than him, and if he had to choose between Raven being angry at him and happy with someone else, or uncomfortably aware of his pathetic little crush on her, he would choose the former every single time. She didn't deserve to have to deal with his problems, to be forced to let him down gently, which she obviously would, because she was so nice, and he-
"Oh God… Raven, I'm… I'm so… I don't really know what to…"
While all of this was going on, one tiny thought was screaming in the back of Beast Boy's brain, waving its arms and demanding attention. It got louder and louder until it finally forced its way to the front of his mind. REMEMBER WHAT RAVEN SAID! What did that even mean? There were more important things to focus on, like how screwed he was. But as the statement remained, he eventually turned his mind back to the beginning of the conversation. Raven had asked if they were still on for…
Wait. Still on?
"Wait… you said…" Beast Boy stared at her in disbelief.
It was fun teasing Beast Boy like this but it was even more satisfying to see him happy, so Raven's smirk was replaced by a shyly sincere smile that she didn't have to force.
"I said yes, obviously."
Beast Boy's jaw dropped. Raven took another sip of tea as she observed his reaction, and waited for him to say something, which he never did. He just froze, staring at her incredulously, with an expression on his face that reminded Raven of the Blue Screen of Death on an old computer. Fitting, as his mind had completely crashed, and would take some time to reboot. Sensing that she wasn't going to get any more of a reaction right now, Raven threw him a lifeline and took the initiative.
"… Ok, well, I'll be ready at six if that's ok. Don't worry about wearing anything special, your uniform is fine. I think it looks good on you, anyway."
Beast Boy nodded dumbly, as if he had forgotten entirely how to speak, which wasn't completely outside of the realm of possibility. "I… you… six? Uh huh? Friday? Looks good?! Friday? … Friday." He spoke as if saying the words for the first time.
"Ok, great. I'll see you then." Raven replied as if he had just constructed an actual sentence, and not the stunned stammering that he had barely managed.
Raven was ready to turn to leave, but there was just one thing stopping her. On the one hand, this could be the jolt that he needed to bring him back down to earth. On the other hand, it could send his nerves into overdrive and serve to convince him that this entire afternoon-breakfast meeting was still nothing more than an anaesthetic-induced hallucination.
Raven was always a gambler at heart. Before she left, she quickly approached the flushed changeling – who was still too stunned to react – leaned forwards, and kissed him tenderly on the cheek.
"I'm looking forward to it." She said honestly. She had heard the word 'speechless' used several times before, but this was the first instance in which she had seen someone who had been rendered genuinely incapable of speech. Beast Boy remained completely silent, gawking at Raven with the most astonished look on his face. He slowly moved his hand up to touch the part of his cheek that she had kissed, as if to confirm that it had really just happened. As all of his doubts and insecurities bubbled up inside of him, a single word escaped his lips before he could stop it.
"Why?"
He sounded scared and confused. It was a reminder to Raven that it would take a lot more than the occasional kiss to fix his self-esteem issues. But she knew this going in, and was ready to do whatever it would take.
"Why what?" she answered passively, already knowing the answer but wanting him to get it out in the open so that she could crush his doubt completely.
"Why… did you say yes?" Beast Boy knew he shouldn't question his good fortune, but he just couldn't help himself. From everything that he knew about her, and everything that he thought about himself, it just didn't make any sense. He had to know what she was thinking.
Raven paused for a moment, and then placed her hands on either side of his head and gently kissed him on the lips. He tasted like a nature documentary; forests, wildlife, animals roaming on the Savannah back where he could barely recall the earliest memories of his life. She tasted of mint leaves, old books, the faintest hint of blue lilies, and the breaking of restraint, as if she had spent a lifetime following the rules and was breaking them all, just for him. Needless to say… she certainly didn't taste like dirt.
When Raven broke the kiss some seconds later, she swallowed her bashfulness and looked him directly in the eye so that she could tell his insecurities, straight to their face, to leave her friend the hell alone.
"Because I thought about it, and… I deserve the best, don't you think?" she answered with a sincere, unusually playful smile.
As Beast Boy blushed as red as a strawberry, Raven knew that her message had been received and her work was done. She permitted a rare giggle to escape and turned to take her leave, in desperate need of more meditation. She also didn't want to deal with her teammates, who were all gaping at her with expressions similar to Beast Boy; except for Starfire, who had clutched her hands together in glee and was beaming at Raven as if she had just witnessed the start of a fairy-tale. Beast Boy continued to stare in the direction as Raven as she left the room, his eyes remaining on the doorway long after she had passed through it.
Eventually, when he had finally recovered his voice, he lifted one of his hands to his lips, to touch the spot where Raven had just expressed her inexplicable love for him. He could still taste the blue lilies. He barely managed to stutter just one thing before fainting completely and falling sideways off of his chair.
"I… I should've gone to the dentist sooner…"