Rosh Chodesh - the first day of the month which is called the head of the month/new moon.

Aba - father

Shabbat - the sabbath

Rosh Hashanah - Jewish new year

Fish - Jewish symbol of blessing and abundance

She saw the woman on the banks of the river every so often. Fishing. Unusual to see a woman fishing by her lonesome. She seemed to be doing it for actual sustenance, not showing off like the clusters of men who tended to gather in prime locations to crow about their catches. Did they cook their prizes or was it just sport? Moiraine didn't know a thing about food. She scavenged sandwiches and vegetables and at times forgot about eating altogether. The extent of her skill with hot food was using the stove for porridge. Deciding on and preparing a meal stressed her out. Fishing held no appeal for her. But the woman did. Tall and slender, her deft mahogany hands held the rod firmly, a small picnic basket beside her containing snacks and books. She favoured sea salt and balsamic vinegar kettle crisps. Moiraine knew that by observing her here and there. Moiraine had never bothered with posh crisps before.

It took a while for them to start to converse. The woman turned her head and passed the time with a few words. Moiraine wasn't good with small talk, she kept her answers short and sweet. It usually put people off. The woman didn't seem to mind. She smiled at her. The next time they talked a few seconds longer. Bit by bit, each interaction lengthened until Moiraine had achieved a conversation that had lasted an entire minute.

There was a second deckchair waiting for her the next time. Invitation issued, the woman didn't seem offended that Moiraine had declined. Maybe next time, she said. Moiraine wasn't sure what excuse she could come up with for then. But next time rolled around and she found herself enticed into the chair. The woman's name was Siuan Sanche. The timbre of her name flowed like water. Moiraine liked that. She seemed to suit the backdrop of the river. Moiraine gave her full name and waited for the reaction. The daughter of a branch of nobility that were often in the tabloids for their bad behaviour always drew a reaction. Everyone knew of the Damodred family, one of the most ancient and most debauched in the country. Moiraine had distanced herself from them but it did not stop the wondering glances and open curiosity that hung around her. On occasion she'd even been chased by the paparazzi.

Siuan didn't react. She just nodded and handed her a fishing rod. When Moiraine confessed that it wasn't her kind of thing, Siaun handed her a book instead. Moiraine shook her head. The last item to be offered was a piece of wood and a Swiss army knife. Moiraine took it gladly and whittled away at it. There was no design to it, just distraction, something to keep her fidgeting hands busy.

'Do you always carry this around with you?'

'You never know when it might come in useful' came the teasing reply. Suian seemed to understand that her guest could not sit idle.

They settled in until the unthinkable happened, a fish. Moiraine had never seen an actual fish being caught. Siuan drew it out, expertly unhooked it and laid it in the cooler. She caught a smaller one just as they were packing up.

'What will you do with it?'

'Grill it with some olive oil, thyme, lemon.'

Moiraine felt hungry thinking about it. Siuan smiled.

'Next time I will bring my portable stove and we will have lunch.'

Siaun's smile was full of sunshine. Moiraine liked it, liked the dimples, liked the dark, studious eyes observing her. She made no attempt to chatter incessantly, leaving them in comfortable silence. Moiraine couldn't wait until the next time.

As promised, there was lemon crushed by Siuan's strong hand, sprigs of thyme and drizzles of olive oil with some pickled shredded purple cabbage and fresh cucumber on the side. The stove burned hot and bright and Siuan had brought a small blue speaker, connected her iPod and selected some mellow jazz hop, drifting across the splash of the river. Siuan's choice of light ale was not to her friend's liking but she drank it anyway, keen to share the experience in the late summer sun. Maybe she would bring the drinks next time.

'This is the best meal I've ever had.'

'You're not much of a cook then?'

'I can make porridge.'

Siuan burst out laughing.

'That's not a meal.'

'I don't think about food. I just don't see that it matters. It's just fuel.'

Siuan was shaking her head.

'Oh it's so much more than that. Can you now say that when you see these ingredients, you won't think of this evening? Would you eat this meal again?'

Moiraine considered it. She acquiesced that this would be something she'd think of again, want to eat again.

'Well then that's a food memory. And now it's less of a need and more of a want. You can have both.'

Moiraine kept silent.

'I can see that you are not a person with many needs or wants.'

'I was born into a mansion of privilege. I have no need of it' muttered Moiraine.

'There is no need to punish yourself for something you cannot control. You do not get to choose your family. I've been lucky. My aba was the best person I ever knew. I wish I could have had him in my life for longer.'

Siuan's mouth turned down and she blinked sadly. It was the first time Moraine could peek behind the curtain. Siuan alternated between solemnity and restrained joy bubbling under the surface. Her smiles were gentle but threatened to overspill. She was guarded and uninhibited at the same time. Moiraine had never met anyone like her.

'He was the centre of my world' observed Siuan. 'He was a fisherman. He raised me.'

'Your mother?'

'Long gone before then.'

Siuan glanced at her friend. She did not need to ask about the way she grew up. Like everyone else, she knew all sorts of things about the family Damodred. Moiraine mistook her expression for judgment.

'I have worked hard to make my own life' she said defensively.

'And you have done splendidly, little pufferfish.' Siuan poked her playfully. 'And you deserve to enjoy your time off, no matter how much you enjoy your job. Tell me what you do to take time for yourself.'

Moiraine frowned at the nickname. Siuan's slow teasing smile was reluctantly chipping away at her resolve and she chanced a half smile in answer. She could think of only one thing. Siuan made a mental note to present her friend with the finest bath salts she could find.

'I must go soon.'

'When will you next be here?'

'Not for a little while.'

Moiraine's heart sank at the thought of not seeing her friend for a couple of weeks. She had become accustomed to her company.

'Next Friday is rosh chodesh. I will not be here. I have plenty of fish in the freezer.'

She was speaking words Moiraine had never heard before.

'What is that?'

'The first day of every month. It is a day for women. The embracing of spirituality, balancing mental health, You can book an afternoon off work for a swim, bake a cake and eat half of it. You can treat yourself to what suits you.'

Moiraine still looked puzzled.

'I see I'm going to have to introduce you to the concept of treats.'

'What for?'

'To live. What good is life if you don't treat yourself occasionally?'

Moiraine stayed silent, not sure what to say to that. She eventually queried about Siuan's plans for this magical day of the woman.

'This month coming, I will be leading a prayer group with discussion afterwards. If you want to join us, we will be at the synagogue at 3 o'clock. Tell security that you are here for that and they will let you in. You don't need to join in, I would be happy to see you there. If you would prefer otherwise, then if you want to meet me there at 5 o'clock, I will take you home with me and we will have shabbat dinner together if that pleases you better.'

Moiraine felt her heart skip.

'For dinner?'

Siuan's eyes sparkled.

'Stay for the weekend. Cancel everything. Shabbat is about resting and relaxing. Intimacy and friendship.'

Moiraine cancelled her shifts for the next weekend when she got back home. She enjoyed her job as an adventure tour guide. It satisfied the restless longing in her to keep moving. A sedentary life was not for her. The outdoors was unpredictable and varying. It kept her focused. Her thoughts were always humming, simmering under the surface, slipping and sliding like fish in a pond. It was hard to settle this relentless churning. Being with Siuan was calming, like a hot bath, the only indulgence she allowed herself. She vowed to go to the meeting. She wouldn't enjoy being in so much company but she did want to see Siuan.

She bided her time, filled her dreams for days with thoughts of the other woman and turned up at the synagogue at the appointed time. The guard let her in and pointed her to the hall. She slipped in and took a seat at the back to observe the varied group of women, a rainbow of faces, dressed in array of fine clothes. Moiraine had worn her best blue dress with the gold gilt collar, thought it was appropriate for a place of worship. She had never seen a rabbi before but Siuan seemed to be just like one, leading the prayers effortlessly and calmly in a melancholy language that made Moiraine's skin tingle, evoking mountains and olive trees, the tang of lemon tea, the cracking of pistachio shell. When she saw Moiraine she flashed a smile that was only for her. After twenty minutes, the monthly discussion started. All sorts of topics were raised and debated about, sometimes in a heated manner that Siuan defused diplomatically. She also had things to say and made sure it was said without judgement. Moiraine did not dare utter a word. The group used words she'd never heard of in the language she had no knowledge of, secular words about society and life, bringing to mind the past as well as the future. To forget the past meant never learning from it, Siuan warned. Moiraine didn't want to think of the past, it had brought her too much sorrow. She listened to everything with intent. She wanted to know which spiritual world Siuan inhabited in her everyday life even if it did not always make sense to her.

'I'm very glad to see you' was her reward at the end. They walked out together, walked to Siuan's home, arm in arm. Moiraine had never done that before but Siuan had taken the lead and she had let her. The hostess had taken her coat, pulled out a chair for her and slid a little box into her hands. Moiraine opened it and marvelled at the thought of being given a gift tailored to her.

The outdoors was Moiraine's domain and Siuan considered the options in the shop for a while. She eventually chose the bath salts with citrus, vetiver and oakmoss. Her friend was not one for soft florals and girlish vanilla.

'It's wonderful, thank you.'

Siuan's gaze was soft.

'I thought you might like to relax with a hot bath tonight. I know that today was out of your comfort zone and I appreciate that you joined us regardless. Very much so.'

'I've never heard a language like that' came the cautious reply.

'It feeds my soul' replied Siuan.

On that note, she got up and started the process of feeding her guest. The fish was to be gutted, cleaned and prepared, salad to be chopped and grains to be cooked. Dough to be made and kneaded. Suian showed her how to knead and she got there in the end, enjoying the repetitive motion. Siuan swept the flour off her forehead and cheeks consideringly. While she tended to the fish, Moiraine ran her fingers through the bulgar wheat, enjoying the feel of them slipping through her fingers. Like the sands of time. There was no time but now.

The candles were lit, the prayers were chanted, the bread was broken and shared, dabbed in treacle scented brown sugar. Moiraine would have preferred it the usual way with salt crystals but she respected the tradition.

The fish was delicately flavoured with herbs, hot olives and sticky pomegranate seeds. The fish stared blankly at Moiraine and she raised her eyebrows. Siuan severed the head with one neat swipe.

'The head of the fish symbolises having a successful year. Carrots for wealth. And the sugar and honey is for a sweet new year.'

Siuan collected some pomegranate seeds and rested them on her fingertips. Moiraine leaned forward and captured them with her tongue. Seven. Lucky number seven. They gazed at each other for longer than usual until Siuan knocked over her cup of lemon tea.

There was cake. A syrupy honey cake, infused with subtle spices, a comforting dense slab with flaked walnuts and almonds on top.

'I take it back. This is the best meal I've ever eaten' murmured Moiraine.

Siuan crumbled some cake on her plate and smiled mischievously.

Moiraine noted that her friend's pale gold dress was still pristine. She herself had a smudge of flour on her collar. The candlelight washed over her drowsily.

'Soon the nights will be drawing in and your job will chill you' observed Siuan.

Moiraine felt weary thinking about it, wrapped in the comfort of her current surroundings. Siuan saw it flicker across her face and suggested now was a good time for a hot bath.

'You can borrow my dressing gown.'

Red paisley. It was not silk like she imagined. Siuan looked good in silk. But the gown was made of rough linen, simply cut. Moiraine liked it even better now. No matter how refined Siuan had become in her role of leadership at the synagogue, at home her trappings were simple and humble.

Moiraine lowered herself into the tub, stretching her arms out, hot water wrapping her in comfort. The bath salts smelt refreshing. She lay back and luxuriated in the space and time carved out for her by her gracious hostess who had insisted on preparing it for her.

A knock on the door startled her.

'Just checking that you haven't fallen asleep in there.'

'You can come in' replied Moiraine brazenly, an odd feeling unfurling in her. Siuan peeked around the door, her hair coiling in tendrils around her face. Moiraine realised that she'd never seen Siuan with her hair down.

'Well, I can see you haven't drowned' she said cheekily. Moiraine could only smile.

'I'll bring up more tea.'

'Actually, I'd rather you stayed.'

Such queer words coming out of her mouth. She didn't know what was happening to her.

'Well, seeing as you invited me so nicely, how can I refuse?'

Moiraine closed her eyes as Siuan undressed. The soft swish of the dress, footsteps fading in and out of the room, the gentle command to open her eyes. Moiraine looked ahead but only saw the closed door. Then she felt the water rising and out of the corner of her eye, saw feet slip in on either side of her. Shuffling forward, she felt the warm weight of the other woman support her and once they'd rearranged their limbs enough to get comfortable, Moiraine leaned back into the waiting arms. Her curls tickled. Siuan swept the other woman's hair to one side and rested her chin on her shoulder. Somehow Moiraine's hands came to rest just above Siuan's knees, tucked up around her. And before long, she felt what seemed like a now familiar touch tickling her ribs. Siuan was stroking her skin tenderly with her steady thumbs, her mouth brushing the proffered cheek. Moiraine tilted her head trying to get closer. They laughed as they manouvered awkwardly, bumping chin against jaw until their lips could connect. They kissed slowly, lingeringly, hearts entwined in rhythm together. Later they would retire to the bedroom and continue their exploration well into the night.

It was such an unusual feeling that finally Moiraine had come to realise what it was. Emotions that were alien to her. Affection. And desire. Contentment to burrow in with another spirit. Those things had found her as surely as her muse had captured her attention, simply sitting on the banks of the river patiently waiting for a fish.