Kazoku no Moribito
Guardian of the Family
Author's note: A lot of natural graphic birth scenes to come. So, if uncomfortable with, just skip them and go to the next chapter, but it all at your own risks because you might be lost with the new characters coming next.
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Part I
Chapter 1
A Filled Family
A few months later after their wedding, on a quiet winter night when the blowing snow created a translucent white veil, Balsa and Tanda's third child decided to come into their world.
Balsa was not sleeping, staying awake with regular contractions. Alika was almost nine years old. And she couldn't sleep either. She was nervous to see her mother "suffering". No longer able to stay in her corner without daring to disturb her, the child got up and took refuge in her mother's arms.
"Mommy…" she whispered.
"What's it, sweetheart?" Balsa whispered, stroking her hair while hugging her.
"I know I'm nervous and it could disturb you… but I'm scared."
"Scared of what, sweetheart? Tell me."
Alika looked up at Balsa with wet eyes.
"I'm afraid that my little brother or my little sister could die at birth like Kasem…"
Balsa smiled to reassure her and took her daughter's hand before placing it on her huge belly which hardened considerably.
"Mommy?"
Her mother didn't speak for a moment as the contraction passed and then slowly exhaled.
"See? That was a contraction," she said. "It's there to help your brother or sister to come out. Don't worry. The baby's fine, they'll arrive."
"They're not going to die?"
"No."
"Promise?"
"I Promise on my mom's instinct."
Balsa kissed Alika's forehead; kiss on the forehead, protection.
"We already talked in the previous months that I can scream and cry during childbirth, right?"
"Yes."
"And that it was normal?"
"Yes."
"And that if you ever feel bad, you can leave without feeling bad. Everything will be fine. Do you want to hold my hand? I'll squeeze yours when I need support. You're going to help me a lot, even if it doesn't seem like it to you, I'll know it."
Alika nodded her head vividly as her fear slowly disappeared and as she took her mother's hand with joy, happy to participate to this intimate family moment. Tanda came downstairs with the birth supplies. This included: the medicine bed, clean sheets, blankets, sterilized blades and thread for possible stitches.
Torogai stepped inside the hut, blowing snow on her cloak. Balsa had found a new trick to get through the pain when she had a contraction, and it made her laugh: Alika held her breath at the same time as she puffed out her cheeks. It was comical to see. Balsa took off her red kimono and put on her simple white kimono which she used as pajamas, without underwear. Alika wasn't surprised at all. They heard a sound similar to a crack and the eyes of the young girl fixed on a clear liquid which flowed abundantly on the ground.
"Don't worry, Alika. Your brother or sister will arrive soon," Balsa whispered. "This is one of the signs they send us…"
She winced in pain. A few minutes passed before Balsa felt the urge to push. She was standing up, and then, slowly squatted, suspending all her weight on the rope that had been hooked to the strongest beam of the refuge. She was quickly supported by Tanda who sat down on a wooden crate. Alika didn't know where to stand without being an embarrassment. She decided to stand at the level of her mother's thigh. Torogai said nothing since Balsa now knew what to do. Alika tried to look strong and put her hand on one of her tight.
"It will be fine, Mommy. Little brother or little sister is coming," she whispered.
"Yes, you're right." Balsa smiled gently, looking at her. Her hair and neck were covered with sweat. "They're going to arrive…"
Balsa tightened her grip further as Tanda wiped her forehead. She began to push while letting out hoarse cries. Alika felt – for a brief moment – an irresistible urge to leave, but the excitement of seeing her little brother or sister being born was stronger than her. She squeezed her grip tighter on Balsa's thigh. She was surprised to see the baby's head emerged, and all their body come out suddenly. Their fall had been slowed down by Torogai's hands. Torogai gently placed the baby on Balsa's chest. Alika watched the baby with great fascination; it was a baby boy. Her mother left Tanda's embrace and held the baby to her, quickly wrapped in a warm blanket.
"Welcome, honey," she whispered, crying with joy.
"How tiny he is!" Alika exclaimed softly, kissing his forehead. "Hello little brother, I'm your big sister… Mommy, the baby doesn't cry like you said…"
Tanda discreetly wiped away his tears and caressed their son's cheek.
"Yet, he's moving," he said. "He's not screaming… but he's alive and in good shape, sweetie."
Indeed, the baby was not wailing; he was observing his surroundings with wide eyes. Just like her older sister, the baby didn't take time before taking Balsa's breast, watched by his big sister, his father and Torogai before falling asleep slowly.
"Which name will you give him?" Torogai asked.
"Hmmm… I'll let Tanda choosing, for this time," Balsa said.
"I would like to give him the name Nao," Tanda declared. "In Yakue language, it means 'more' or 'further'."
"So, Nao it will be," Alika concluded.
One thing ended up surprising them all: the baby's eyes. Both of his parents and his older sister all had brown eyes. But he had ocean-colored eyes; a blue like clear water. Balsa tried to trace her own origins, but no one from Yonsa clan - at least her immediate family - had blue eyes.
"We will say that he inherited my eyes!" Torogai said proudly as everyone hunched over the newborn in fascination. "But I can feel it: this little one has enormous potential… he's going to do things that no one his age is going to do."
"As…?" Balsa insisted.
"Eh... well like me. A shaman!"
"Oh no! I would prefer him to be a scholar or a future warrior."
"You can't choose for him, Mommy." Alika reminded her.
"You're quite right, sweetheart."
Torogai had said the truth. From the first months of his life, Nao cried at night just to be breastfeed or change his nappies. He wasn't as greedy as his older sister at his age, but he was also wiser than her at that age. He started to sleep all his nights only three weeks after he was born. He had also started saying "Mommy", "Ali" and "Daddy" around seven months, and by ten months he was walking on all fours.
Two years later, Balsa became pregnant again. Her morning sickness only lasted three weeks, then it all stopped. Her pregnancy went relatively well. Her child moved mostly during the day when she was doing some chores and she slept peacefully at night. As she was reading a manuscript, her eldest daughter's familiar footsteps echoed through the room.
"What's wrong, Alika?"
"Do you miss fighting and traveling, Mommy? Be honest."
"… If I would miss fighting and traveling, do you think I would be gone?"
"Yes. But I don't understand the meaning of your sentence…"
"I miss it a bit, I must to admit. But this new life doesn't displease me. Despite everything, I still have this burning desire to fight in my blood."
"Do you risk losing some of your skills and abilities if you stop training?" Alika worried, coming to lean against her and put her hand on her rounded belly.
"Do you have doubt?"
"Yes, a bit."
"Come on, sweetheart. There's no chance that I'll lose these skills… except at the end of my pregnancy, but that's something else!"
Alika burst out laughing.
"But if ever a danger were to threaten my family, expect me to defend it," Balsa said. "Does that reassure you?"
"Yes."
"And you, what do you really want to do in life as purpose?"
"… Using my fighting skills to protect people, I guess?"
"The bodyguard's work, maybe?"
"I don't really want to be a bodyguard… I don't know. I'd like to be a person who provides good service by using her fighting skills."
"Not to kill, I hope?"
"Oh no, no!... But as long as my spear is useful…"
"All right. As long as you're happy with it, that's what matters."
She kissed Alika on the forehead before hugging her. Nao walked on his four legs, for fun and let out small cries that he wanted to climb on his mother's lap.
"Take advantage of it while there's still room on my knees and on my thighs, Nao, before your little sibling takes up more room in my belly. Show Alika-Oneechan what you're capable of."
Nao grabbed onto his mother's kimono and belt - who was sitting cross-legged - before "climbing" her and sitting in the hollow of her thighs. He hugged his mother possessively in front of twelve-year-old Alika, who pouted.
"Pfff… don't look at me like that. I had Mommy for myself until I was eight years old!"
She stuck her tongue out before getting up.
On a rainy autumn night, Balsa gave birth to her fourth child – she still counted Kasem as a real family member, and she was right to do so.
"Mommy… don't you think we're famous in the family for being born at night?" Alika asked.
"… Uh…" Balsa said, while she breathed between two contractions before thinking about the question. "You're right. You're born on a spring night; Kasem was 'technically' born on an almost summer night – the daybreak; Nao was born on a blowing snow night… well, I think you're right."
"And then, the baby is going to be born during a rainy autumn night!... Mommy?"
Balsa had leaned against her daughter to exert pressure on her shoulders.
"Sorry, you're a good armrest for contractions…"
"It's okay, it's okay," she said, patting her shoulder before looking at Tanda. "Daddy, where is GrandMa?"
"Here," her voice echoed in the dark.
They jumped when they saw her come out of her hiding place. Compared to the birth of Nao, where Balsa still seemed confident, this time, she clung with all her strength to her eldest daughter and her husband. Tanda helped her up slightly when her squatting position weakened. Although there were no physical complications, mentally Balsa was busy and she couldn't let go. This was affecting her and she had some difficulties to get the baby out.
"The head's here soon…" Torogai tried to encourage her. "I know you're very tired, Balsa, but don't give up!"
"But I can't! I can't do it anymore!"
"Mommy…," Alika murmured, shocked. She'd never seen her sink into such despair.
"Concentrate," Tanda whispered to Balsa, stroking her hair. "You're blocking yourself. Come on honey, you're about to give birth to another beautiful baby. You can do it."
Balsa uttered a hoarse and deep cry, something that frightened Alika for a moment, who stepped back a little without letting go of her hand. Alika strongly suggested to Balsa to hang up herself to the cord tied to the beam; her medium's instinct was telling her that her mother has to do this. With the help of Tanda and Torogai, Balsa straightened up with her kimono opened and hung, almost standing up. That's when she managed to let go and all of a sudden, the child's head appeared before coming out entirely in one push, in the arms of their big sister.
"Oh God Yoram!" Alika exclaimed. "It's a girl! She's there!"
Balsa finally sat down and looked at her eldest daughter, softened. Alika was fascinated by her little sister and then finally passed her on to her mother, who, too exhausted, couldn't cry.
"It's a girl," Tanda repeated, wild with joy. "An adorable little girl."
"It was difficult." Balsa breathed. "I think she must be as exhausted as me…"
"Breastfeed her a bit, and then I'll take care of her, so that you regain your strength."
"Good idea… welcome among us, sweetie… it hasn't been easy, but you're finally here and that's what counts. Mommy and Daddy are very happy that you are here."
Fatigue overwhelmed her and finally, Balsa began to cry of joy, caressing her against her skin. Footsteps were heard on the stairs and Tanda invited the shy little Nao to join them and welcome his little sister. The newborn baby took a while before being able to take her mother's breast, but eventually succeeded before falling asleep against Balsa's chest. They decided to call her Motoko Yonsa, after the spiritual guardian of Balsa. Alika saw the latter nod positively, honored that her name was offered to the daughter of her protégée.
The little Motoko had brown eyes and black hair. Her skin tone was as pale as her big sister's. The family took also the opportunity to enlarge the hut from behind, because it was starting to get small. This room became the family living room and the children's bedroom.
At twelve years old, Alika always liked to accompany her mother during the bath time. The new installation was made of wood and created a big tub similar to a large barrel, which they filled with water from the well and heated it through a terracotta heating mechanism. They cleaned themselves of dirt before entering the water to keep it clear and clean.
Modesty didn't exist between them; it was also at this moment that Balsa noticed that the timeline was starting to change things. Her eldest daughter's body, still considered as her baby, was starting to change and Alika was slowly becoming a woman. She was growing quickly: her hips were slowly widening, her waist was getting slimmer, and the most obvious change was about her chest. Balsa also noticed that Alika was starting to get embarrassed about it. She chooses to start the conversation. Not beating around the bush, Balsa went straight to the point.
"Is your breasts hurt, Alika?"
The look of surprise and embarrassment flashed across her face. Alika turned her head away to hide her blushes. She also switched, slowly, her mother nickname "Mommy" for "Mom" only.
"You don't have to feel embarrassed." Balsa tried to comfort her. "You become a woman, it's normal."
"Well… it's painful, indeed," she confessed, massaging her chest.
"It's normal; it's growing and it's hurting. But it will calm down."
"Will they be as big as yours?" Alika asked, a bit embarrassed.
"It's quite possible, since the body shape is hereditary, but it will be done slowly. When we'll get out of the bath, I'm going to give you a sarashi and you'll surround your chest with it for support. You'll have less pain. Besides, I have to tell you about something else that will very likely happen soon."
"Go ahead."
Balsa went back to her memories and remembered this famous conversation about "Mommy, where do babies come from?".
"Do you remember when you were six years old? You asked me how babies were made."
"Yes…"
"And you asked me if you could get pregnant, too." Balsa laughed. "I told you no, because your body still needed to grow. And over time, you became aware of what happened to me every month when I wasn't pregnant."
"… That… it was when you were saying that you 'had your period' or 'being in the time of the month', right?"
"Yes."
"I know that you're often in a bad mood and that you often argue with Dad on the first days. Sometimes, you told me that you felt like having heavy legs and sensitive hips."
"Yes. You're therefore old enough to have them, and in view of how well your body has developed, I believe that it will be soon."
"No! Please no! I don't want to go through this…"
"It can be different from one woman to another. That doesn't mean that you're going to experience the same pain as me. When it happens, come see me."
"All right… but can we stop them?" Alika asked innocently.
Balsa turned her head towards her.
"Unfortunately, no cure can stop this primary function in women. The only time the monthly bleeding stops is when the woman is pregnant."
"Oh… I don't want a baby. Not right away."
"Don't worry, sweetheart. It will come in due time. If you get your period every month, and you have sex with a man in the meantime, and your period doesn't happen the following month - apart from stress - then you might be pregnant. This is one of the first signs, along with nausea and fatigue."
"I've often seen you in this state, so I understand."
Balsa smiled and stroked her daughter's cheek. One day, Nao knocked on the door of the family latrine.
"Alika-Oneesama! Get out of there. You've been here for an hour!"
"No, I don't want to!" She cried from behind the door.
His little brother recoiled, surprised.
"Sorry," he apologized.
"No… excuse me, just go get Mom…"
"Oh ? All right."
Nao ran into the hut and nearly tripped over his big sister's spear that was lying on the ground. Balsa caught up with his son in time.
"Be careful, Nao."
"Mommy, Alika locked herself in the latrines and she won't come out. It's been an hour! I need to go there, too!"
"If it would've been fifteen minutes, I would've understood. An hour, however… did she lose consciousness?"
"No, she asked me to go see you and get you…"
"All right. Let's go."
Balsa gently knocked on the door.
"Alika?" she asked knocking harder. "Alika?"
"… Mom?"
"Do you have a problem?"
"Yes…"
"What's it? Do you feel sick? Do you have indigestion? Annoying pain between the legs?"
"No!"
Balsa paused.
"… Did… did the red peony bloom?" she asked, playing with the pun.
"No… eh… maybe?"
"Will you let me in?"
"Only if Nao doesn't come in…"
She turned to her son.
"Um… It would be better that I see your sister in private. I think you're going to have to get into the woods, because it might take some time."
"Is Alika sick?"
"No. It's nothing serious."
"All right, but after you come and draw with me!"
"I promise."
Nao smiled after his mother kissed his forehead and left towards the forest. The door finally opened and Balsa entered. Her daughter was still sitting, her hands between her legs, her back arched as if she was in pain. Her eyes were filled with tears. Balsa saw her belt and her pants stained with blood and understood instantly.
"Why did it have to be me?" Alika whined.
"You've become a woman now." Balsa smiled, kneeling in front of her.
"Do you find it funny?"
"No, I'm just proud of you. My little girl is a woman!"
"There's nothing to be proud of!"
Alika pointed to her garment.
"It's blood; it stains for eternity!"
"Not that blood."
"Are you sure? Is it dirty?"
"But not at all!" Balsa said indignantly. "It's just a sign that you're fertile, that you have a healthy reproductive system and that you'll be able to carry children one day! In any case, it's not dirty. Who told you that?"
"… Euh… I don't know… I've often seen blood in during fights, and it stains our clothes."
"When did you start?"
"I don't know… I was training when I felt strange… so, I went to the latrine and I saw that I stained all my clothes."
"I'll go get what you need."
Balsa left, before came back a few minutes later with new clothes, soft cotton cloths and even medicine that Tanda had created against stomach ache and which relieved menstrual pains.
"I'm not going to put this between my legs, am I?" Alika asked, unhappy.
"Unfortunately yes. I'll help you."
"Mom?"
"Hum?"
"Will I have to sleep with it, too?"
"Yes, until it stops. And you also have to change the cloths before it gets too full. You're lucky to have a mother who explains all this to you. When I started, fortunately, I was at GrandMa Torogai's. She explained everything to me, but I admit that it was a bit awkward when I was traveling with Jiguro. I was afraid of staining my clothes and if given the choice, many women would decide not to have their period. I got used to it, little by little."
"But… Was Jiguro uncomfortable?"
"No, not that I remember. For a long time, I thought he didn't understand any of this… or if he did, he never spoke to me openly about it."
She smiled and passed her a soft cotton cloth.
"Here, wipe yourself with this. I'll help you put on the towels so you'll be comfortable."
"I'm ashamed…"
"You don't have to be, not even a little! No, straighten up, raise your head and be proud to be a woman! No shame here. It's normal and natural. All right?"
"All right."
"Good!"
Alika stood up and let her mother put the cloth on her.
"It reminds me of a poem," Balsa said. "A very short little verse: 'When the woman has her period, she's purified, and becomes the wife of a god". So, you can consider yourself the wife of a god."
"Oh, no thank you…"
"Watch me do it; you'll have to learn to do it alone in the future."
"Yes."
Balsa put a belt on her; it would hold a cotton cloth in her underwear. Alika thought it was too complex to tie, but she tried to memorize what her mother had shown her. When finished and well prepared, she felt uneasy and felt like she was a baby in diapers again. Balsa picked up her soiled clothes and decided to clean them and do the laundry.
"Mom?"
"Yes?"
"… I have pain in my stomach and hips…"
"Go lie down. I'll bring you a hot water bottle, that helps a lot."
"All right."
When the evening came, Nao, who had got into the habit of sleeping with his older sister, was kindly asked to go and sleep with their parents, leaving Alika alone. The little one understood much later that his big sister had become a young woman, and that for this time of the month, which will happen every month, Alika preferred to sleep alone and have her own privacy.
But after all, sleeping with Mommy and Daddy was more fun!
As soon as Alika was fifteen, Nao was six, and Motoko was three — the three of them always slept together — Tanda and Balsa, who had nothing else to do during the nights to relax, conceived another child by unplanned way. This time, they'd decided it was going to be their last. But if other children came to show up afterwards, they would be just as happy!
There was only one thing that was not usual with this latest pregnancy. Compared to previous pregnancies, where most of their babies were relatively calm in her belly, this time around Balsa felt like her belly was a battlefield. The baby moved all the time, day and night, preventing her from resting properly. She had only to look at her belly to analyze the baby's movements behind her navel. One night, as she was glued to Tanda, he, half-asleep, whispered to her.
"Balsa, stop moving."
"It's not me… It's the baby…"
"They move a lot."
"Indeed. I can't rest properly because they're moving all the time!... Tanda, ask them to stop moving. They aren't listening to me!"
He propped himself up on his elbows as Balsa rolled onto her back. He looked at her belly and noticed that the baby inside was moving a lot. He was even able to see the baby's movements under her skin. He also noticed that her belly was much bigger now than it had been at the same point in her pregnancies with their previous children. Tanda thought first that with Balsa's previous pregnancies, her body was now used to carrying children. But her belly was such a big size…
"Could you be pregnant with twins?" he asked.
"I think it could be very possible…"
"I think so, too. Did you say you felt like it was like a battlefield in your belly?"
"All the time… I even get kicked in the ribs! Ouch!... like, right now!"
Tanda put his two hands on her belly and put a small pressure to calm the baby. Instantly, the baby's movements calmed down, until Tanda was kicked on his right hand and pouted disappointedly. Balsa instantly burst laughing.
"Well… they're maybe stubborn, or, you're too gentle to scold them," she said.
"… I would say that they kept your fiery warrior side. Even Alika was calm if you compare her to them…"
"Try again, I really want to sleep. I'm exhausted."
"All right, chérie."
And he tried again, humming a Yakue lullaby, his ear pressed against his beloved's big belly. The pressure he exerted was accompanied by that of Balsa who had put her hands over his. Finally, the babies – if they were indeed twins – calmed down for a while and she was able to sleep peacefully the rest of her night. During the day, on the other hand, the baby took the chance to untie his legs and play tricks on his sisters and his older brother when they caressed Balsa's belly.
Tanda continued to maintain that Balsa was expecting two babies. Balsa preferred not to come to a conclusion too fast, and continued to speak of her child at the singular one.
The birth had not been easy. Once again, the child had decided to come into the world during the middle of the night. At the same time, a violent thunderstorm shook the New Yogo Empire; it was a very strong one, like it's been a long time the country hasn't seen. Alika was shaking from the head to the toes. She always hated thunderstorm and never managed to rip-off this phobia. But she tried to remain calm as much as possible and to concentrate about the birth of her future and last sibling.
In addition, there was a slight complication. Even Torogai rarely saw it: the child was born in a breech position. They could at least know the sex of the baby and it was a little boy! Alika tried to contact the spirits to receive help and know what to do if the head that would show up last got stuck. She was afraid about the consequences for her mother and her future brother.
"Good…" Alika said, receiving the information from the spirits. "Mom, get on all fours."
"Oh?"
"The spirits told me to do this. Trust me, they're watching over you."
"All right…"
"Go into your inner world; we're taking care of everything."
At her daughter's request, Balsa changed position and surrendered, resting her head on Tanda's legs and concentrating. Everything was going well until the part of the head arrived. Alika didn't dare to pull too hard and tried a maneuver, guided by the spirits. She repeated the instructions aloud to her GrandMa.
"The 'trick' in a breech birth is to bend the head," she explained, "because an extended head has trouble coming out. To bend the head, find the face of the baby, and press on the cheeks or on the mouth, or, the chin in order to tilt the head. Mom? Are you still fine?"
Balsa stifled a groan. "Alika! Just get your brother out…!"
"Sorry, Mom…"
In a tense moment, both for the parents and the shaman – and where Nao had hugged Motoko and was sitting on the stairs – Alika managed to quietly get her brother's head out. He was moving, but couldn't breathe. So, she did what her instinct was telling her to do: she covered her little mouth and nose with hers and blew softly, before patting his chest and back, pressing him against her. Balsa, now facing her, looked at her, tense and worried.
"Come on, my dear… come on, breathe! I know you can do it…," Alika whispered, continuing to rub vigorously his back.
Suddenly, the baby brought his legs close to his body and turned red while wailing. A sigh of relief ran through the family.
"There! There!" Alika announced proudly, crying with joy, passing him with jealousy to her mother.
"I don't know what I would've done without you," Balsa whispered, crying.
Balsa only had a minute to rest, getting to know her son when she felt more contractions. The reflex of having to push again could be felt.
"Twins!" Tanda exclaimed. "I knew it!"
"Me too!" Alika added.
Balsa squatted quickly, passing hastily her son into the arms of her big sister so that Alika could take care of him during the second birth.
The second baby soon came out. This time, they were placed in the right position, coming out the head first. The passage being already made, he passed without any difficulty. Looking at the babies carefully, Tanda noticed that they were exactly two copies; two identical boys. To differentiate them, they used the umbilical cord. The boys had brown hair and eyes of the same color, and having their mother's pale complexion.
Tanda and Balsa had thought of several names during the pregnancy, but none seemed to suit them. When Balsa dared to ask if Jiguro and his father, Karuna, had both possibly reincarnated, Alika confirmed to her that Jiguro was still with her under his spirit form and that Karuna was in Kanbal, hanging around Aunt Yuka. As a tribute to them, Balsa chose to offer the first names of her two respective fathers to his sons: the first baby was baptized Karuna Yonsa and the second, Jiguro Yonsa. It made sense since the real Jiguro Musa was younger than Karuna Yonsa.
Balsa had chosen these first names because she thought they reflected the friendship and complicity of her fathers. As there were two babies, Balsa had to breastfeed them. Seeing how the two were very greedy and seemed to compete with each other when she breastfed them, she was afraid – for a moment – of running out of milk. Fortunately, that wasn't the case.
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Author's Note: Personal preference here, but… regarding the births of Balsa and Tanda's children, my scenes are out of the usual cliché people have in mind. I.e - dictating to the mother to be on her back, and ordering her when and how to push. It's not natural at all and when I come across that scene, I stop reading immediately. And since it's in the old times, my births scenes are also natural.
The name given to Balsa and Tanda's "fourth" child is a reference to "Motoko Kusanagi from Ghost in the Shell". The reason is that I find that Balsa and Motoko are very similar; one is from the old days, and the other from the modern time. So, I came to the conclusion that Balsa could be very well the ancestor of Motoko Kusanagi. My soul as a writer decided to integrate this theory here. Also, as said earlier in the chapter, my "Motoko" is the physical version of the 1995 Motoko Kusanagi, with black hair, but brown eyes.