Charlie knows to only expect calls from Nick in emergencies.

It's their protocol, something they've refined over the years into an unconscious set of rules that they've seemingly memorized completely and now barely acknowledge. If either Nick or Charlie calls the other, it's not good and can be classed as a worst-class scenario, all alarms and sirens going off as well as a lot of other things.

No, texting is how they did things. It was easier and Charlie's pretty sure they could wallpaper their flat with their text history, given it stretches back to when they were 15/16 respectively and now at 21/22, he's sure there would be enough to also turn the ceiling into a jumble of words, numbers and letters that showed how much they loved eachother.

It's Defcon-1 when Nick doesn't respond to his texts that morning while he's at uni in class before his phone is suddenly ringing with Nick's programmed ringtone of the English Rugby anthem, something Charlie assigned to it in the hopes he never actually hears it.

His books are dropped and all planned activities or whims are thrown out of the proverbial imaginary window of his mind as he fumbles with it before answering, sliding his finger on the screen and bringing it to his ear. "Love? What's wrong?"

"Charlie." Nick sounds so broken on the end of the phone and it makes his entire ecosystem of hair covering his body stand up on end. "Mum called me just now. It's…it's time, Charlie. It's time and I don't know what to do."

Charlie's mouth goes dry hearing those words. It's time, it's time, it's time. God, Charlie cannot imagine what kind of emotions Nick is going through right now without him there and he just wants to run home and wrap him up in his arms. He won't do that, not until he asks of course because he doesn't want to push it, though he knows this has been coming for a while, like a poison slowly seeping through the veins of someone dumb enough to swallow some. This is no poison Nick would willingly take, however, nor himself. Not Sarah, who he also guesses is going through enough agony herself having to make that phone call to her son.

For all intents and purposes, Nellie is Nick's best friend. She has been for years.

Nick had gotten her when he was 8, but at the ripe old age of 14 now, Nellie had been starting to slow significantly. She was no longer the dog that chased after them with toys, aite water from hoses or slept on beds, she didn't have that strength anymore in her. Instead, she slept mostly in her basket or nuzzled knees and laps and hands as they touched the grey muzzle of her face, rolling over for a tummy pat when she could and snuffling otherwise.

Just a couple of weeks ago, when they had been back in Herne Bay for a visit, she wouldn't leave Nick's side, which was honestly very weird for her, but it seemed he didn't mind one bit as she hadn't been clingy since she under a year old and Nick's Dad had left the family. He knew Nick never liked to talk about that time, but he would talk about how cute Nellie was while those old brown eyes stared up at him lovingly in the light of the TV.

Guess she knew that the next time she saw her boy, it would most likely be the last. It was the one downside of having animals that Charlie never recognised as a child and only learnt when he got older, feeling wiser for the lesson now despite wanting to give his terrible teen years the flick when he could. It didn't matter about him at the moment, however, it was Nick right now who needed his boyfriend, not Charlie that needed himself.

"Okay, okay, did your Mum say when she was going to take her in?" The younger man asked as he picked the dropped objects back up from where they had come to rest on a table that was thankfully nearby, stuffing it all in his bag as he was talking. "Are you at home?"

"…Yeah." Nick's snotty and weepy now, which is a clear indication that he's actually crying now unlike before when he was barely holding it together. Charlie's heart aches for him, as he just wants to make the pain go away like Nick does for him. "She said…s-she wants to take her in tomorrow, the vet s-said tomorrow…"

"Okay, okay. That's good. We'll get there before tomorrow." Obviously, that was a very dumb thing to say, given that Herne is only a 4-hour train ride away, 5 if they took their car, so of course they would make it. Charlie wasn't exactly thinking about much around the lines of sensibility right now, just attempting to find words to comfort the other. "I'm on my way to our apartment now, so I'll be there in a few minutes. Just hold on, okay? I'm coming."

There's a bunch of sniffles and maybe a quiet sob before Nick hums and Charlie knows he hasn't got any more words for him, so he just quickly hangs up and focuses on weaving his way through the grounds to get to the main road and start off home. It's a 20-minute walk usually, but it feels double that as he finds their staircase and makes it to the third floor, opening the door with his key and discarding his backpack and jacket on the floor.

Charlie loved their apartment. It was their own space, somewhere away from parents and Herne Bay and having to be closeted to almost everyone except a few people. It was a tiny space, a hole in the wall made for a bed, a couch, a stovetop that sparked and a few flowerpots filled with plants, but it was their space and it was home.

However, today anyway, Charlie almost felt suffocated by the space as he wandered deeper into it, not really paying attention to the sun that only barely streamed in through the windows as he was following the thick blanket-like sadness he could feel crowding every corner of their home until he was in the bedroom, where Nick sat on the edge, his head in his hands and shoulders shaking. When Charlie gently sat next to him and palmed his shoulder, he immediately tucked himself into a ball and poured headfirst into Charlie's chest.

Wrapping his arms around the bulker frame of his boyfriend, the younger man held him with a small sway as the other sobbed openly into his shirt, the sound sending rather stinging barbs of pain though Charlie as much it most likely was the other. All Charlie could do was ride it out with him as best he could and hope that Nick would come out the other side.

Eventually, Nick resurfaces, but it's not for long as his face hides itself away again from the light, the wet patch cold now, but Charlie knows Nick doesn't care. Charlie also knows that he'll hold him for as long as Nick needs him. Sure, there is the arduous task of needing to pack and getting the car filled and all that nonsense, but that can wait as long as Nick needs despite feeling like they're on a time limit.

(Technically they are, but he doesn't exactly want to remind his boyfriend of that fact.)

It seems Nick realizes that on his own, however, because he raises his head again and they silently look at each other without saying a word before they're moving. Clothes go in weekenders, keys are exchanged, the GPS is programmed (because despite it being a slightly extra hour, it's easier than crying on a train) and soon enough, Charlie finds himself holding hands with his boyfriend as he stares distantly out the window at the countryside and urban jungle of the motorway.

Charlie wishes he was good with words. Nick was always good with words, or at least, he was better than he was with them. He could say a number of things, but he already knows that nothing he can say will make Nick feel better. Hopefully, even if he can't help him, Sarah can help him a little when they get back to his childhood home.

It's nearing dark when they finally arrive at the Nelson household and pull into the narrow driveway that day. He's not surprised when Nick doesn't even wait for him to stop the car before he springs out, the sea air filling Charlie's lungs as he scoops up both bags and takes them inside after triple checking the car's locked. While he may not be the best yet at driving it, he knows without it, they'd never get anywhere.

Coming inside, however, is a complete mood shift. While outside hadn't been so bad, the suffocation he'd felt earlier in the apartment from Nick's sadness was back full force, mixing in with Sarah's as he came to see them embraced over the kitchen table, Sarah practically rocking her adult son like a baby as she cried with him, only slightly more put together.

Stowing their bags next to the staircase, Charlie doesn't have to go far to find the aforementioned heartbreaker. He just rounds the corner into the living room and there's Nellie in her greying, sweet glory sprawled out in her basket half awake. However, when she sees Charlie, she gets up and limps over to him to tiredly rest on his lap, her tail still wagging and Charlie almost breaks right there as he holds her, her fur quite patchy and matted in places more than likely from sleeping more than usual.

They said it was typical for an elderly dog, but Charlie knows Nellie would never sleep if she had her way. Rest, yes, but not sleep. Nellie Nelson never liked to sleep. There was just too much excitement for her to do that and being a collie, that was well true.

She has a bandage around her arm with a tap in it, like someone would get in a hospital, most likely for what was to come and Nick lets out a strangled noise seeing it for the first time when he comes to find them together, but he bravely holds her as she snuggles into him, the fur that Charlie found strange acting as a handhold as much as he and Sarah are as well.

They don't move from the floor till it's rather late at night.

Nellie Nelson passes away on a Thursday morning that is sunny and warm. The vet clinic is also warm, thankfully, as Nick would never let his best friend leave this world on a cold metal table and thankfully, Sarah wouldn't either.

She's lying on a sky blue blanket on the ground, placed there by one of the vet techs and just being the goodest girl as the doctor pokes and prods her, as Nick and Sarah flood her fur with wet, as Charlie strokes her head and behind her ears in her favourite spot.

Charlie holds Nick's hand and doesn't care that his own is turning white from the sheer amount of grip Nick is returning while the doctor injects Nellie's drip with a relaxant to make her go to sleep before the second and last step is completed. Then once she's out, it's one more injection and Nellie's gone. Nick somehow manages to make it back home and upstairs before he opens back up again and it's not like before.

While the breakdowns before were measured, able to be turned off with a little help and some comfort, the one that puts Nick on his knees in his old bedroom sends them both to the floor, as it's clear that it's finally hit his boyfriend that his dog isn't coming home.

Unlike the apartment yesterday where it was mostly quiet, Nick's entire body racks with sobs that punch through the mid morning air, his clutch having gone from Charlie's hand to Nellie's leash and collar that's made the journey home with them unscathed. The neighbours possibly think someone is dying, but he really hopes Sarah informed them of the situation in some way despite her own grief as he pulls Nick close and holds him again.

Nick's whimpers eventually over time form words, so many words, about how much he loved her. It's pouring out of him as much as the tears are and Charlie listens because he wants to help Nick somehow. Memories from when he was a child, funny habits she grew into and out of, the way she tried to comfort him whenever he was like this, sad, lonely and miserable.

"I just want her back, Char-" Nick hiccups after a while. "-I just want my Nellie back."

"She loved you so much Nick, just like you loved her." Is all Charlie can say, before Nick launches into another sobfest, his grief tenfold as they lie scrunched up in the middle of the room, neither willing to move as the sky turns dark outside.

Charlie doesn't know how long they'll be here for, but one thing is for certain. Nellie was always with Nick, no matter where he is. She's in his heart and won't leave it and he resolves to tell him that when he's able, when Nick's able to process it. Till then, he just keeps Nick's whole body cradled in his, lips pressed to his forehead as the other grieves for his best girl, his best friend, his everything other than Mum and Charlie.

His Nellie.