Summer vacation is at an end. Akari and I spent every day together as planned. After I went with her to Tokyo, we came back to Yamaku for a week before going to visit my grandma and Sho in Sendai. While they met her briefly at my birthday, this was the first time had really spent time with her. Unsurprisingly, they really like her and are very happy that the two of us are together.
We've been back at Yamaku for a week, and Ai got back around the time we did. She's having a hard time without Carsten, so we have spent a lot of time with her. It's been kind of nice, just the three of us.
Now, it's the night before the fall trimester begins. Akari and I are in my bed. We just finished making love and we're very cozy snuggling in the aftermath. Akari's eyes are closed and she's probably going to fall asleep any minute. She almost always falls asleep before me. But I follow her to dreamland quickly because after she falls asleep, her slow, deep breaths are like a sleeping pill for me. It's the most relaxing sound in the world.
Then, we are rudely interrupted by my phone vibrating. I pick it up and see that it's my aunt. That's…unusual at this time of night. I hope my mom's okay.
I pick up and says, "Hey, what's up?"
She says, "Hey, kiddo. I wanted to give you a heads up about band this trimester."
"A heads up?"
"Yeah, a third-year pianist is transferring in. She's had a lot of changes in life recently as a result of a medical condition, and she's struggling with it."
"Um…okay?"
She laughs, "I will be more direct. She could use some help, I think. And she will be in direct contact with you because of band. So…try and help her, if she lets you."
Why is she asking me of all people to do this?
"Okay, I'll try."
She's quiet for a moment, "From what I have heard…she reminds me of your dad, when I first met him. So, that's another reason I thought of you."
"Oh. Okay, I can see what you mean. I will do my best."
"Great. That's all I can ask. Sorry to be so vague, but I can't really tell you anything more without violating rules about student privacy. I'm probably already crossing that line a little."
"Yeah, I understand."
We say our goodbyes and end the call.
Without opening her eyes, Akari sleepily asks, "What w-was that about?"
"There will be a new pianist transfer student. She's struggling with adjusting to her new life with a medical condition. My aunt wants me to help."
"Just because you both p-play piano?"
"That's part of it. But she also knows I'll help because…it's a situation a lot like my dad's. He was a Yamaku transfer who became disabled during his last year of high school. He struggled with it. Saki and my aunt helped him." I laugh, "So…I guess you and I might be Saki and my aunt here."
She opens one eye and smirks, "Does that mean one of us is g-going to fall in love with her?"
I giggle and hit her with my capybara. "It better not."
—-
It's the first day of band practice this trimester.
I walk into the music room with Akari and hear my aunt say, "Oh…there you are." I turn and see her walking over to me with a tall, thin girl. She's several centimeters taller than me. Girl may not be right either, as she looks more like a college student than one in high school. She has shoulder-length blonde hair that I can only speculate is the result of hair dye. The look on her face tells me this is the person my aunt called me about two nights ago. She looks like she doesn't want to be here.
"Hana, this is Kayoko, the other pianist I told you about."
I smile at her and say, "Hi, Hana. I'm excited to work with you."
Her face doesn't really change. If there were a photographic guide to facial expressions, her face would be right next to 'apathetic.' She flatly says, "Yeah. Me too."
I try to get her to talk to me a little before band practice, but all I get are one-word responses so I give up.
To get her to feel a little better about things, I gave her a lot of time on the piano today. She needs to build a rapport with the rest of the band anyway. She's good and I'm jealous of her long slender hands. But she looked like a robot and her face still didn't shift from its default expression. I thought maybe doing something she loves might improve her mood, but it didn't. At least not outwardly. I wonder what happened to her. Obviously, it wasn't good. She doesn't have any immediately visible disability to clue me in on anything. But then, neither did my dad.
We just finished up for the day, and Hana and I are on the piano bench together. Akari comes up to me and I know what she's going to say, so I decide to invite my benchmate.
"Hey Hana, do you want to come get some dinner with us in the cafeteria?"
"Um…okay."
I get up and give Akari a quick kiss, and when I turn around to get my things, I see the most significant facial expression I've seen on Hana's face so far.
Her eyebrows are raised just a tiny bit. She points from me to Akari and says, "So, you two are…?"
I smile and finish for her, "A couple? Yes. This is Akari, the first chair French horn and my girlfriend." Akari puts on her best welcoming smile. She can probably relate to some extent to not wanting to be here. Her first month at Yamaku was hell.
Hana grimaces, "I'm sorry I just…acted like that. I don't have a problem with that. I just didn't see it coming, I guess. Anyway, it's nice to meet you, Akari."
I'm not exactly sure what that means about 'not seeing it coming', but she's new here and having a hard time so I'm going to move past it.
Clearly Akari feels the same. She smiles and says, "Th-that's fine. We aren't offended."
Hana nods and the three of us head to the cafeteria. On the way there I ask, "So…how's your first couple of days here, Hana?"
She frowns. "Okay, I guess. Everything's taking some…adjusting. It was nice to play piano just now, sort of felt like…nothing had changed, for a moment."
Okay, well I'm glad it helped a little. Maybe if we stick to talking about the piano, she'll feel more comfortable.
"Yeah. You are really good. How long have you been playing?"
"I started lessons when I was 10. You're good too. How long has it been for you?"
"I started around the same age. You're 18 though, right? So, you have a year on me."
She says, "Um…I'm actually 19. I…missed some school last year."
My mom was 19 in her third year too. She missed a whole year after her accident. I guess this must be similar, only whatever happened to her came much more recently.
"Well, then you have two years on me." She nods mechanically.
Once we're seated in the cafeteria, we're quiet for a while, and then Hana breaks the silence when she asks, "So, how long have you two been together?"
Other than the piano, this seems to be the other topic she's sort of interested in. It at least draws a response out of her.
Akari smiles at me, "About three m-months now. We were friends for a year and a half first."
Hana smiles slightly, "Yeah, I would have guessed more than three months, so that makes sense."
"Why would you think that, out of curiosity?"
She shrugs and smiles a little wider, "You just seem close. It's cute."
I feel my face flush a little, and Akari's does too. "Thank you. We are close, so you have good observational skills. How's…romantic life for you?"
She sighs and frowns. "Not…awesome. I had a boyfriend…before, but we broke up."
I desperately want to ask, "BEFORE WHAT?!" but I think I'll keep my curiosity under wraps for now.
I frown, "That's no fun."
"Nope. But I've seen some cute guys here at least."
Akari giggles, "Y-yeah? Already seeing what might be on the menu?"
Hana smiles the biggest I've seen so far. "Maybe a little. Hey, you play French horn, right? What's that shaggy-haired guy's story?"
Akari frowns, "He's um… a-actually my ex."
Hana grimaces, "Shit. Sorry."
Akari shrugs, "It's fine. It w-wasn't a really bad break up or anything. Obviously, we sit next to each other in band, so it would b-be hard if we hated each other." She smiles, "If you want to pursue him or whatever, g-go for it. I can even introduce you."
It wasn't a bad breakup? I seem to remember things a little differently. They did patch things up after the fact, and he apologized for the awful things he said to her. But still…
Hana nods, "I don't know how ready I am to actually pursue anyone. But…thinking about the potential is fun."
Then after a moment she says, "Well…thanks for inviting me to dinner. It was nice. I think I'm going to head back to my dorm."
"Yeah, no problem. If you want, you can eat with us and our friends at lunch tomorrow too. We'll be at one of the tables right outside the cafeteria." I point out the window to what I'm talking about.
We moved where we eat because Carsten isn't here to move Ai on to the grass anymore. Koji could do it, but the two of them aren't close enough for that to not be weird. Especially because Ai sees it as something special she and Carsten do.
She nods and then in a monotone voice she says, "Yeah, okay. I think I'll take you up on that. You two seem cool. See you tomorrow."
—-
The next day Hana joins us at lunch. I introduce her to Koji and Ai, and she takes a seat at the table in between me and Koji. I see her flinch a little when she sees Koji's scars. It annoys me a little bit that she was so obvious about it, but then I remember I had a similar reaction the first time I noticed them. She's entirely new to Yamaku too. I remember my dad telling me that adjusting to being around lots of people with disabilities is sort of difficult. So, I'll cut her some slack. The two of them are chatting now, so Koji wasn't offended either.
While I'm busy worrying about Hana, I also notice I have another friend who doesn't seem to be doing so well.
"Hey…Ai. Are you doing okay? You look…like you never slept."
She scoffs, "It's that obvious, is it? Well, you hit the nail on the head. I stayed up all night talking with Carsten. It was nice, but I'm paying for it now."
Hana looks confused so I fill her in, "Her boyfriend is in Germany."
She nods, "Oh, yeah? That must be hard."
Ai yawns and says, "It wouldn't be nearly as bad without the time difference. He's 7 hours behind. He's not done with school usually until 4, which is 11 p.m. here, so that's when we talk. Last night we talked until he had to go to bed, and by that time there was no point in me trying to sleep."
Akari says, "I g-get wanting to talk to him, but you need to sleep, Ai..."
She sighs, "I know. I just really miss him, and he misses me. It's hard to hang up sometimes. But yeah…I need to be getting at least six hours or something."
Hana says, "It's cool you two are trying to make things work. I…had a boyfriend, before here. I wanted to try to make it work even though I was leaving, but he didn't. And he's just like a three-hour train ride away."
Ai yawns again, "That stinks. Just tell me where he lives."
She's too tired to complete her threat.
Hana looks confused so Koji translates, "She's threatening him. She does that."
Hana smiles softly, "Oh, got it. Well, hey, I just might take you up on that."
About halfway through lunch I smell something very unpleasant. If I had to identify it in one word, that word would be 'sewage.' Luckily, I've already eaten, otherwise it would have really put me off. I look at Akari and can see from her face that she's detected the same smell. The same is true of Koji and Ai. I've never smelled something like this out in the middle of campus. I hope there's not some sort of sewage leak.
Now I notice Hana has a look on her face that is a mix of utter terror and embarrassment. She's grimacing and blushing at the same time. She has her hand on her lower abdomen, and her clothes look wet under her hand. I don't fully understand, but I think the smell has something to do with her.
I whisper, "Hana…is there anything I can do to help?" She responds by standing and getting away from us as fast as she can, which is surprisingly fast. I consider trying to follow her, but her body language made it clear that wasn't what she wanted. She left her backpack and food here.
Koji chuckles and says, "Do I have a way with the ladies, or what?"
I smile at his attempt to cover this up with humor.
If we could smell it further away from her, surely it was even stronger for him. He's probably hoping we didn't notice, for her sake. That's pretty nice of him.
Ai laughs and says, "What exactly happened?" Koji frowns when he realizes his deception wasn't successful.
"I…don't really understand, but I guess that smell had to do with her condition, and she got embarrassed about it."
Akari says, "I th-think she has an ostomy bag."
Ai says, "A…what now?" I echo Ai's question with a confused facial expression.
"I s-saw a lot of them in the hospital. It means part of her colon had to be removed, so her…waste gets collected in a little pouch connected to her body. It must have leaked."
Koji shakes his head sympathetically, "Yeah. I guess I can see why that would be embarrassing. Hopefully she knows we don't care. I mean…my whole face is embarrassing, you know?"
I shake my head at Koji for his self-deprecating comment and then sigh, "Maybe she'll be back before the end of lunch. She did leave all her stuff here."
By the end of lunch, she hasn't returned. We consider just leaving her things where they are, but ultimately decide against it since we aren't sure she's coming back any time soon, so we take them to the band room, since we know she'll be there later. None of us have her number, so we settle on the low-tech strategy of leaving a note on the table explaining where her stuff is.
—-
Later that day Hana doesn't come to the band and while we're there, we see that she never got her things . After band, we decide to talk to my aunt about it. I know there's a lot she can't share, but she might know what to do. After I explain the situation, she sighs.
"That's tough. I wish I had some advice."
I frown. "You helped my dad in a similar situation, didn't you? I thought you would have advice."
She laughs, "Let me think…I mean, your dad was really embarrassed about a scar he had on his chest. But that's a lot different than this. He didn't run away because of it…he just never took his shirt off. Even in the pool." She laughs softly. "Anyway. You just have to wait her out, I guess. I would think she went to the nurse to get help and then just decided to disappear for the day out of embarrassment."
I sigh, "Okay well..thanks. Hopefully we can find a way to help her."
After that Akari and I eat dinner and head back to the dorms.
When we get off of the elevator, we see a tall blonde girl walking down the hall with her back to us. From the looks of it, she just took a shower. She goes into her room at the end of the hall. I can't be 100% sure it was Hana, but I'm certain it was her. There isn't another tall blonde girl at this school that I'm aware of. I guess she lives on our floor. That makes things a little easier. Akari and I go into her room, sit down on the bed, and discuss the situation.
"We…probably shouldn't just go knock on her door, right? I'm tempted to, but…"
Akari shakes her head violently. "I know she doesn't have anxiety l-like me, but someone knocking on my d-door was one of my greatest f-fears when I first came here. It might just scare her away m-more."
"So, we just have to be patient, then?"
"Yep." She smiles mischievously. "Do I n-need to be patient?"
"Uh…what?"
She puts her arms around me and then slowly moves them down my back before sliding her fingertips just under the hem of my skirt. I wasn't even thinking about sex, but now it's all I can think about. She's far too good at this.
I giggle, "Ohhhh. You meant that kind of patient." I pull her in for a deep kiss and start unbuttoning her shirt. After I take it off her, she slides my skirt off and we get into bed together. "No, I don't think you do."
The next morning when I'm leaving Akari's room and going to mine to get ready, I see Hana in the hall walking towards me. She looks up, sees me, gets embarrassed and turns around. I think she's hoping I didn't see her. I know I'm supposed to be patient, but she's out in the open now.
I say, "Hey, Hana." She stops walking and turns around.
She frowns and says, "Um…hey."
By now Akari is standing in the threshold of her door. I guess if she lets me know this is a bad idea I'll back off, but she doesn't. So, I say, "Hana…can we talk to you?"
She looks down and says, "Um…I really need to get going."
Akari pokes me in the butt, and I look behind me and she shakes her head. I guess I'm going to need to be patient a little while longer. But there is one kind of important thing she needs to know now.
"Okay. Your things are in the band room if you're looking for them."
She looks up at me with a small smile and nods and then I go back into Akari's room to let her escape.
"Would have been bad if I pushed things there, huh?"
Akari nods, "Yeah. You can ask to t-talk, but if she says no, that's that."
"Okay, fine."
—-
Hana didn't come to lunch with us today, but I'm happy to see she came to band That's better than yesterday I guess. We make some very surface level small talk before practice, but I can tell she's still really uncomfortable. So, I don't push anything. She probably doesn't want to talk about this in public anyway. We invite her to dinner after band, but she declines.
Once we're back in my dorm room for the night and about to do some very unwholesome things there's a knock on Akari's door. She isn't in there of course, so we listen for a second and there's another knock. So, I say,
"Who is it?"
"It's…Hana?"
The questioning tone of her voice is probably a result of hearing 'who is it' from the wrong room.
Luckily, we were only in the early stages of our night so we're still fully clothed. I get up and open it. "Hi Hana, Akari's over here."
She smiles slightly, "You two live across from each other huh? I guess that must be nice."
One of the few things she smiles about is me and Akari. That's kind of nice, I guess. Hopefully we can get her to where she smiles about other things.
I laugh, "Yep. It's convenient. Do you want to come in?"
She nods, comes in and sits down on the desk chair. Akari's still sitting on the bed, and I sit down next to her.
She's looking down at the ground in front of us. "I just…wanted to thank you for getting my stuff the other day. I sort of forgot about it after…that happened."
Akari says, "N-no problem. It made us realize we need your phone number."
She nods, "Yeah…that's a good idea." She gets out her phone and we all exchange numbers.
Then she fidgets for a second and then says, "I'm sorry for not being very friendly the last few days. You two are being nice and trying to make me feel welcome, so I shouldn't have done that. I just…I was really embarrassed, and I needed time to pass, I guess. I…don't know if I'm going to go to lunch again…because of what happened. But I won't avoid you anymore other than that…"
"You d-do'nt want to come to lunch? We'd like you to. So would Ai and Koji."
She grimaces, "I don't think I can. I'm too embarrassed. I know you two a little better. It's easier. You've been around me when…that didn't happen. But the only time I ever saw Ai and Koji…that's what happened. To them…I'm just some girl who made things smell really bad."
"If I tell you something really embarrassing that has happened to me because of my condition, would that help?"
She shrugs, but I'm going to do it anyway. It certainly won't hurt anything.
"I get hurt easily. That's why I have these lovely accessories on," I show her my wrist brace. "A few months ago, I fell when I was getting out of the shower and really hurt my leg. I couldn't get up. We had to call the medical staff to help me, and all I had on when they did was a shirt." I smile at Akari, "And I only had that thanks to her."
Hana raises her eyebrows and smiles a little, "That…does sound embarrassing."
I laugh, "Oh, it was."
"I have a story like that to-too. Last year I had a p-panic attack in front of dozens of people when they were trying to congratulate me after a concert. I fainted and hit my head."
Hana grimaces. "I'm…sorry those things happened to both of you. But it makes me feel a little better I guess, knowing you've been through it. I'm still really embarrassed though. This…it's new to me. I only recently became…someone who has to come to school here."
She said that last word with a little bit too much contempt. But she's struggling…I guess I'll let it slide. I wonder if my dad felt like this at first. I kind of can't believe he would, but maybe I'm putting him on a pedestal. I didn't know him when he was 18 and surrounded by people with disabilities for the first time.
"We're not trying to tell you that you shouldn't be embarrassed. We were embarrassed too. I think I'm just saying…most of us have been there. So, we understand a little better than you might think. I think that's one of the best things about Yamaku. We all understand each other a little better here than kids at a regular school. I'm sure Ai and Koji have embarrassing stories too."
She sighs, "Okay, Kayoko, I get it. You convinced me. I'll come to lunch."
I laugh, "You don't exactly sound happy about it."
She smiles softly, "I am. I'm just teasing you a little for getting all preachy there. It's like you're spreading the gospel of Yamaku or something."
Akari giggles. I glare at her, "Excuse me, are you saying I'm preachy too?"
She puts her hand on my back and smiles. "M-maybe a little. You do love it here more than…just about anyone. 'Gospel of Y-yamaku" has a nice ring to it." She waves her hand in the air. "I picture you going to every house with a disabled kid in it in all of Japan and spreading the Word of Yamaku to them. Then they w-will all come marching up the hill and join us here in utopia."
Hana laughs and it's the first time I've ever heard that, so it distracts me from being a little annoyed with Akari. It's the first time she hasn't looked uncomfortable in the few days I've known her.
I scoff playfully and cross my arms, "Yeah well…I'll tell you the whole story some time Hana, but here's the short version: my parents went to school here, and later they both worked here. I grew up in a house down the hill. So, I'm probably biased."
She nods, "That makes sense. I was just teasing. Your sermon really did help."
Akari giggles again and I playfully glare at her again.
"Well, Hana, if you're feeling comfortable enough now to tease me…you just watch out. That means I can go after you too."
She stands up, "Well, I'll be on my guard then. Thanks, you two. I'll see you tomorrow." She leaves and heads back to her room.
I wanted to hug her, but she doesn't really come off as the hugging type.
After she leaves, I glare at Akari.
"Are you actually m-mad about the preachy thing?"
I cross my arms. "Kinda. Maybe."
She puts her hand on my thigh and gently nudges me, instructing to me lay down on the bed, which I do. Then she kisses me deeply, smiles at me and says, "How will I ever m-make it up to you?"
She really is far too good at this. At some point you'd think I'd develop some immunity. So far though, I'm just putty in her hands.
—-
Hana comes to lunch the next day. Before she sits down, she says, "Hi everyone. Um…I'm sorry about the other day. I have this…bag thing, and normally it doesn't have any problems…but it leaked, and I freaked out. It…shouldn't happen again."
Ai scoffs and says, "You don't have anything to apologize for. Do you want me to apologize for being in a wheelchair?"
Hana blushes and says, "Err…no, of course not."
Ai says, "Okay, then don't apologize for your thing. Now, sit down and shut up." She pauses for a moment and says, "I mean that in the nicest way possible of course."
Hana sits down next to me and across from Koji. She's still pretty red.
I sigh, "Sorry about Ai. I agree with her sentiment…but…."
Hana smiles softly, "It's okay. I appreciate what she was trying to say."
Koji starts talking to Hana about third year things like the upcoming examination hell, so I tune them out. And join the conversation at the other side of the table.
Akari says, "S-so, what's today's Carsten update?"
Ai says, "He's good. Misses us all of course, but school is going well. He really misses Japanese food." She yawns. "Nothing too interesting."
I smirk, "You talk to him at least a couple hours each night but there's nothing interesting?"
Ai blushes a little, "Well. Some interesting stuff happens. But not the kind I would tell you."
I raise my eyebrow at her, and she turns even redder.
"Yes, okay! We do…stuff over the phone, or on video chat sometimes. Call me a freak or whatever, but…"
I laugh, "I think it's kind of sweet actually."
Hana says, "Me too. Remember, I had a guy who wouldn't stay with me when I moved a few hours away. Your guy moved way farther, you talk all the time, and you're still intimate? Sounds nice."
Ai smiles at her, "Thank you. It…is kinda nice. Not the real thing, but close."
I look at Akari. As pent up as we always are for each other, I have no doubt that's what we'd be doing. Shoot, we would probably do it if one of us was gone just for the weekend.
—-
"Did we just…?"
I'm staring at the chess board, dumbfounded. There's nowhere he can move. There's nowhere I can move.
I sigh in frustration, "Yeah, it's a stalemate."
He smiles ear to ear, "That means I didn't lose, right?"
I smirk at him, "Sure does. It also means you didn't win, though."
"Well, yeah…but neither did you. If this isn't a disruption of the status quo, I don't know what is."
I laugh, "Fair enough."
"Hey, I wanted to ask you something…"
I gesture for him to continue.
"What do you think about Hana?"
"What do I think? That she's really nice, struggling to adjust to how much things have changed for her. Akari and I are trying to help. You and Ai are too, even if you don't know it."
"Do you…think she could use more help, from me…maybe?"
I lean back in my chair and smile at him, "You like her, don't you?"
"I dunno. I like talking to her and she's pretty. I want to get to know her better than I've been able to at lunch."
I think for a minute. "Well…I can help. We eat dinner with her in the cafeteria around 6 most days. You're welcome to come."
He smiles, "Really?"
"Yeah. Although…I feel kind of bad leaving Ai out if it's everyone but her. Do you care if I invite her too?"
"No, that's fine."
I laugh, "Man, I just realized you are the only guy in the group since Carsten left, and there's another girl now. The ratio is way off."
He smiles, "I noticed. I get questions sometimes from random guys in the library, 'How are you always hanging out with a bunch of cute girls?'"
I guess we ARE all pretty cute.
"How do you answer?"
He smirks, "I usually just shrug. Makes me mysterious."
I giggle, "You're enjoying it, then."
"A little, is that bad?"
"Nope. You seem…a lot more confident these days. It's nice to see."
He smiles, "Yeah, I feel more confident. You helped for sure. And I feel really confident after this stalemate."
I laugh, "I don't know what's going to happen when you finally beat me. We might have to have a party or something."
He laughs, "I wouldn't say no to that."
—-
It's after band. Me, Akari, and Hana are heading to the cafeteria. Koji should be there. Maybe Ai too, though she said she might take a nap, so she's rested for her Carsten time.
"Hey…what do you two think of Koji?"
Is this really happening? Koji asked about her yesterday.
"He's a really great guy. Why do you ask?"
"Well…he asked for my number at lunch today. I gave it to him. I wasn't sure if he was…hitting on me or what. But he is nice, and pretty cute. So I thought 'what the hell.'"
Maybe he doesn't even need me. And she said he's cute! I was a little worried she wouldn't be able to get past his scars.
Akari smirks at me. She knew that Koji has a crush on Hana, so she's probably as happy as I am about this.
"So, you might want to get to know him better?"
"Yeah, maybe. Or at least sleep with him."
Me and Akari both stop dead in our tracks.
She smirks and turns around, "Not how you two like to do things, huh?"
Akari recovers more quickly than I do. I guess I'm the bigger prude. "N-No. Sorry…we shouldn't have r-reacted like that. There's nothing wrong with just s-sleeping with people if that's what y-you like." I nod in agreement.
We continue on our path to the cafeteria. After a minute Hana says, "I haven't done it like that before either. My ex is the only guy I have been with. But I was thinking…just sex with a guy could be nice. A little rebound action." She sighs, "Of course…my whole…situation" she pats her lower abdomen "…probably means I should get to know a guy pretty well before hooking up with him anyway. So, maybe I missed my chance for that kind of thing."
Just as I'm formulating a response to this conundrum, we see Koji walking from the school building to the cafeteria.
Hana says, "Speak of the devil."
I playfully wink at her, "Looks like he's going to the cafeteria."
She smiles, "Sure does."
When we get to the cafeteria, I don't see Ai. She's probably taking that nap. I am a little worried about how she's really throwing herself into talking with Carsten so much. I get it…but I'm starting to think she is neglecting her life here.
Koji is already seated by the time we get our food. Hana is ahead of us and she sits next to Koji all on her own. For a moment, I wonder whether we should just let them be alone. But they know we are here; it would be kind of weird if we did that. I guess if we pick up a vibe that we should leave, we always can.
We take a seat across from them and when we get there, they seem to be excitedly discussing a TV show. I'm really bad at pop culture so I have no idea what they are talking about. If it isn't romance manga, Akari isn't so good at it either. They are sitting much closer to each other than necessary, and she's laughing at every little thing he says. There's some definite flirting going on here.
As I watch them interact, I realize that both are very guarded people. I've known Koji quite a while now, but I still don't know much about his past or how he got his scars. He mentions little snippets here and there. He was in an orphanage and bullied a lot before Yamaku. He likes books and games. That's about all I have.
I've only known Hana for about two weeks, so it is less surprising that I know so little. But I know almost nothing. She has an ex, and they broke up somewhat recently, she has some sort of gastrointestinal condition, and she plays the piano. That is the extent of my knowledge.
Me and Akari talk a little bit about band and our classes, but we're both pretty interested in watching our two companions interact given we know that there is some mutual romantic interest between them. It's hard not to be a little enthralled. Eventually, I realize that we should probably let them be alone. Just as I'm about to ask her, Akari says, "R-ready to go, Kayoko?"
I nod, "Yep. Let's get going."
Hana smiles the biggest I've seen so far, "I think I'm going to stay here a little while."
Koji says, "Yeah! Me too."
He didn't even really need my help in the end. This is cute. Maybe our friend group will be three couples. That would be interesting.
Akari and I are both smiling wide, "Okay, you t-two have fun."
The next morning I've just finished getting ready, and I'm about to see if Akari is ready to go. While I'm in between our rooms, I hear a door open down the hall and I see Koji emerge wearing a wrinkled uniform. He doesn't have a hoodie on, so I almost didn't recognize him. There's only one reason he would be here at this hour and have come from that part of the hall. I guess…it's possible they slept together without doing anything else, but the goofy smile on his face makes me think otherwise.
As he passes me, he says, "Morning, Kayoko. See you at lunch." I find myself unable to respond.
As I'm standing in the hallway, stunned by what I just witnessed, Hana comes out of her room and heads to her shower. She sees me and gives me a playful wink confirming that they did more than sleep together in a wholesome way. I really shouldn't say anything but…
I walk toward her and I whisper, "What happened to getting to know a guy first?"
Hana frowns and walks back to her room and invites me inside. There's not much in here other than her furniture and clothes. She did just move in, I guess. It smells…kind of musky, probably a result of their night together. It makes me realize that mine and Akari's rooms must smell funny too sometimes, we must just be nose blind to it. Oh God. I'll think about that later.
She explains, "I knew Koji already knew about my…situation and he still wanted me. And I wanted him. So, we slept together. We both had a really good time with each other. We'll probably do it again. I know I'd like to." She frowns. "Is it really that bad?"
I sigh, "No. I'm sorry. I guess I'm a little worried he will get attached and hurt or something. I know he…hasn't had a girlfriend…and you were most likely his first. But obviously you both wanted to do this."
It's just so hard for me to understand. But that doesn't mean it's wrong. My mom did this all the time all the way into her 30s, so I probably shouldn't be so judgmental.
"I won't be weird about it anymore. It's not my business, and I'm sorry for meddling."
She says, "I get it. We had a talk about it before we decided to do it. I wanted to make sure I wasn't leading him on. He agreed that it was just us hooking up."
I get a bad feeling in my stomach.
I force a smile, "That's good. Okay, I'll leave you alone to take your shower now. See you later."
When me and Koji were briefly kissing buddies, he agreed to that too, but it messed with his head. So, what is THIS going to do? Whatever, this isn't my problem. He makes his own choices. But if this goes badly, I'll be there for him.
