59

The Reverend arrived soon after and offered spiritual sustenance, while his wife doled out liberal doses of sympathy and tea. Everyone else gave Teddy space, the distant but tender kind: timid talk whilst chewing tiny portions of food in the dimly lit dining room. No more fun, just sympathetic looks.

Lord, how he loathed it. Didn't these people know that the sting of death could only be soothed by a good joke? Those tar-black ones that stuck to you so that even if you thought you could never find it funny, you started laughing too.

Teddy left the dining room and everyone let him go. They had clearly all decided he was still in his 'needing space' stage, and they must have needed to be clear of him too. When he left the room he heard the register of their voices change from sotto to mezzo, and when he paused by the open door he saw that Fred Jr and Di were helping themselves to seconds, and Susan was given leave to bring in the three tier cake.

Should he go back to the cottage - would that be rude? Even if they forgave his absence Teddy knew his leaving would only cause more worry than he was feeling himself. The only worry he had being, he didn't feel worried. Nor sad, regretful, angry or confused. Just: Oh. The tiny utterance that so neatly conveyed the unexpectedness of something that wouldn't change much at all.

He did not feel that he was finally someone now he had a grandfather, he did not expect that his fortunes would change. If the man himself had turned up hale and hearty and promised his wealth before hundreds of witnesses at the concert, Teddy believed his response would have been the same.

That wasn't to say Teddy disbelieved the whole scenario: rich relative tracks down long lost heir. It simply didn't interest him. If he had a tail he would have flicked the whole thing away from him like a fly. As it was he left the house and studied the night sky as though it might help. Nothing reassured a body of their own insignificance like the stars.

He was smoking in the shed when Mrs Blythe found him. The car was still out in the yard. She only wanted to talk with him about sleeping arrangements and such, which was a relief because he didn't have it in him to pretend to be sad.

"Don't put it out," she said when he was about to stamp the cigarette under his heel, "I can always tell where you are by that smell."

"Were you looking for me, I'm sorry I-"

"Nothing to be sorry for. Now, what do you think to my suggestion?"

His resulting blankness must have shown on his face, because Mrs Blythe went on without missing a beat.

"About the Wrights going up to your cottage tonight - providing there's enough clean sheets," she grinned. "Mrs Wright is rather particular when it comes to those matters."

"And she wouldn't want to sleep in a room with a corpse."

Anne blinked. This was shock, it had to be.

"Mr Killick will remain laid out in the spare room until the coroner comes tomorrow," she said mildly. "And the constable, of course. I imagine they'll both want to speak to you, so it only makes sense that you stay here until then."

"It doesn't make sense to me at all. I wasn't even here when he died."

"He was a lovely man, I truly enjoyed his company - I think you would have too -"

"Well that's by the by, isn't Mrs Blythe, because he's dead. His wife is dead. His son is dead. That's the Killick line kaput. None of it makes the slightest bit of difference to me, except that I'm going to have to wade through a whole lot of paperwork and fight a whole lot of board members and shareholders and God knows what else if I plan to claim what may only possibly be mine."

Anne was now feeling close to shocked herself. Teddy's response was sounding very much like resentment. Why was he reacting in such a fashion? Teddy was kind hearted, he had served Ken in good faith, helped out Jem and Una and Gilbert, become an unlikely chum of Shirley, and would have walked over hot coals if it made Rilla happy. He had performed so wonderfully at the concert when he had no love of the spotlight, and brought in dozens of new worshippers at church. Her own children would have been proud of such accomplishments and eager to prove themselves worthy if such a possibility had landed in their laps.

"You have no interest in pursuing that course?" she said.

"I'm sure you think it's feckless and shortsighted to throw this chance away when I'm not good enough for any of you as I am."

"It's not about what you might owe us, Teddy, but rather what you owe yourself."

"I'm fine with scraps, I always have been - I don't see why that can't be enough!"

"And you wonder why you're always hungry," Anne said.

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Sleep on it, maybe the answer will come to you tomorrow. Tomorrows have always been good to me."

"Ah…" Teddy floundered. Was that a quote from a book, if it was it never came from any set-text he taught at school. "If you don't mind, Mrs Blythe, I'd rather sleep in the -"

"Shed? I had a feeling you might. It's a nice warm night and no chance of rain. I'll make sure someone brings you a quilt."

Anne turned quickly, not trusting herself to say more than goodnight, and hastened into the garden.

"Mrs Blythe," Teddy called, chasing after her, she had reached the standard roses that lined the path to the house. "What did you mean - when you said you can always tell where I am - why would you want to?"

"I care about the whereabouts of all my family."

"I'm not part of your family."

"If that's what makes you happy, dear."

"I don't give a damn about my happiness, I never did."

"Did Rilla ever tell you about the letter Walter wrote to her the day before he died?" Anne asked as though he hadn't spoken. Her grey eyes lifted skyward and just about out-starred the stars. "He said that if he should survive the war, the beauty of our world would always be a stranger to him - when I learned that it broke my heart."

Her eyes lowered, and when she looked at him, Teddy saw it wasn't starlight, they were shining with a power all their own.

"I used to think you were nothing like Walter," she went on, "but when I see you now - oh Teddy, I can't help thinking of the son who might have come back… and it breaks my heart all over again."

...

Next chapter to follow...