Ch 4

"She's all yours. Make sure there's a bucket in case she decides to expel her… poor choices." Ava was still processing the keys in her hand and the woman. Lilith, walking away. She looked at Beatrice who was still against the wall but now sitting on the floor. She had her eyes closed and she looked ethereally peaceful. The rosy hue to her cheeks magnified her freckles. Ava smiled and tossed the keys in the air and caught them. "Don't go anywhere." She wasn't sure if Beatrice heard her. It didn't take long to dash back into her apartment and grab her own keys. You technically have the keys to the kingdom in your hand even if you locked yourself out. She smiled. If I lock myself out again, I want Bea to rescue me even if I can rescue myself right now. When Ava stepped back into the hall, she noticed Bea hadn't moved but she at least had her eyes open.

"Hi!" She said loudly as she smiled wide at Ava. "You came back."

"Duh." Ava replied as she crouched down. "We need to get you inside your flat." Bea chuckled at the word.

"It's funny when you say it. Flat."

"Why? Cause I don't have the proper accent?" She helped Bea get to her feet somewhat clumsily. Beatrice didn't answer. Instead, she lifted her hand and caressed Ava's face.

"You're beautiful." She sighed and let go of Ava's cheek. "I'm drunk."

"I noticed." Ava unlocked the door and guided Beatrice through it. She immediately aimed for the couch and ungracefully plopped down as Ava turned and locked the door. She hung the keys on a hook and went to get some water from the kitchen. She stepped around the couch and placed the glass on the table, noticing the stack of coasters and adding one under the glass. Beatrice had her eyes closed again and Ava wondered if she had passed out or simply fallen asleep. She looked at her and felt something twitch deeper in her gut. All of a sudden, Beatrice opened her eyes.

"You're still here."

"Uh… yeah… getting you some water… I don't know where the bucket is though. Lilith said…" Beatrice waved her off.

"I won't need it. I'm drunk but… no… I won't need it." She decided to lay down on the couch as she continued to look at Ava. "Sit with me a minute?" Ava nodded and sat on the edge of the couch as Beatrice moved to accommodate her. She managed to take hold of Ava's hand. "Lilith… she left right?"

"Yeah… she did."

"She's my friend."

"I know… she told me."

"Nothing more." Beatrice was looking at Ava's fingers.

"Friends are good. Did you want her to be more?" Beatrice made a face that made Ava laugh.

"No… Not Lilith… She is… different… hard to know… but she… but no… not Lilith." She paused and contemplated how to say what she was thinking. "I want us to be friends…"

"We can be." Ava already knew that she wanted at least that. Something about the way Beatrice spoke to her.

"But…" Beatrice bit the inside of her mouth while she concentrated on what more she wanted to say and not say. "We're neighbours. And… you're really beautiful… incredibly so…"

"And that's bad?" Ava squeezed Beatrice's hand. It was meant to comfort herself, fearing some rejection coming.

"No. Not bad… maybe complicated…"

"Why?" Ava's voice was low. They had flirted, kissed. A lot. Was Beatrice having second thoughts?

"Because… I want friendship…"

"So you mentioned."

"But I want… umm…" Beatrice looked at Ava. She let her eyes roam her body. And even as drunk as she was, she managed to convey the desire she was feeling. "I want you." She couldn't tell if she said it out loud or in her head.

"We can have sex Beatrice." The drunken woman blinked and stared. Ava laughed with relief. See, she's not rejecting you. "Not right now. When you're sober or a lot less drunk… we can have sex."

"You want to?"

"If I didn't make it evident earlier that I find you hot, then I'm doing something wrong."

"No.. you did… I'm simply… I'm not… never been a casual person… but we don't know each other…"

"No. We don't." Ava sighed. She wanted to know her. She wanted to know why this woman who was obviously educated felt such pause when speaking.

"But I want to… know you… but I don't want to not be casual before we.. before I…" She rubbed her free hand over her face. "I'm not sure any of that was English."

"Not really… Want to give it another try?"

"I want to have sex with you… Terribly so… But I'm hoping maybe we can try casual? And if casual sex doesn't work out, maybe we can keep trying to be friends?"


Mary was getting up from her desk when Lilith walked into the office. She gave her a look and sat down on the couch. "I want my money back."

"What?" Mary laughed. "You bet and lost. No takebacks." She was stuffing papers into her bag. She knew she wouldn't look at them tonight, probably not for a few days. She'd read through them but needed to file them and at this hour, nope.

"You got her drunk and then made me take care of her." Lilith crossed her arms.

"Did you?"

"Did I what?"

"Is she all set for the night?" Mary asked, knowing that Lilith was trying to goad her into more than just giving her her money back. She was too tired for this.

"Oh. She's, definitely, set for the night." There was a smile that didn't bode well no matter what it meant. Mary groaned.

"Lilith…"

"You failed to mention the cute little number you moved into across the hall. Convenient, don't you think? Give our Bea something to… focus on?"

"I did no such thing." Mary smiled as she took a deeper, hopefully unnoticed, breath. "She was the best applicant."

"Bullshit."

"And even if I did, what's it matter to anyone? She's a nice girl. Bea needs to make more friends… maybe more than friends. Who knows?"

"Our Beatrice is dense. You know this."

"She's smarter than both of us together even if you add Camila."

"Speak her name and she appears!" Camila bounced into the office, handed a pouch to Mary and dropped herself comfortably on the couch while laying her legs across Lilith's lap. "So… why is my lovely name music to my ears?"

"No real reason. Just trying to prove a point." Mary checked the keylock on the pouch.

"Hmm… I won't press." Camila looked at Lilith. "My legs are tired… You know… while you're sitting there, you could make yourself useful since you left me alone to close with the others."

"If I left you alone, then there wouldn't have been others." Camila lightly tapped Lilith's shoulder. Mary opened the floor safe and put the pouch in for a morning deposit. No need to hit the bank so late at night.

"You know what I mean… You weren't there."

"I'm not a lot of places and yet you seem quite capable." Lilith tried glaring at Camila.

"Fine. Whatever…" Camila tried pulling her legs off Lilith who stopped the action and began rubbing Cam's left calf. Mary shook her head and made a whipping motion at Lilith who flipped her off. "Ooh, I met your new tenant."

"Jesus… how and when?"

"She came into the bar… calm down mom. She locked herself out." Lilith looked down and was smiling. Camila noticed and then looked between her two friends.

"Ahh right… Sorry… been a long day. I forgot about that."

"Forgot…? You weren't here. You were out signing for the delivery when she was here."

"Ummm… Beatrice dropped by…."

"And Mary got her drunk." Lilith took the opening.

"What? Where was I?" Camila was aghast at not knowing things, especially before someone else.

"Working." Mary said.

"Probably flirting." Lilith chimed in a little grumpily.

"Whatever… you could have got me. Signaled or something." She had looked at Mary when she said it but gave Lilith a slight glance. "I love a drunken Beatrice. Why didn't she just go downstairs though? I could have totally made her drinks all night." Camila pouted and moved her right leg so Lilith would switch to that one now.

"She… uh… wanted to talk about some stuff."

"Ava." Both Lilith and Camila said at the same time.


Ava laughed. She didn't mean to laugh at Beatrice. But the way she phrased things was almost old-fashioned and stalwart. When Beatrice gave her a confused almost pained look, she apologized. "I'm sorry…It's… I'm not laughing at what you're saying… just how you said it." The look didn't go away. Ava brought Beatrice's hand to her lips and kissed the back of it. "You're sweet."

"I am?" Beatrice frowned. "Is that good or bad?"

"It's good Bea." She leaned down and gave her a light kiss. She felt Beatrice tense under her, almost reaching out with her other hand but refrained. "Friends is the fail-safe. I get it. How about you sleep? We can talk about the casual stuff tomorrow. Ok?"

"Ok." Beatrice closed her eyes and it wasn't long before she fell asleep. Ava leaned in and kissed her cheek. She then removed her shoes and left her tucked into the couch. She went to her own apartment and tried to not think about what she was feeling.


"I don't disagree that Beatrice needs to get laid." Lilith spoke plainly. "But setting her up like this… it can backfire spectacularly."

"I don't think it can." Mary was trying to reassure herself. Having this conversation with the two of them meant it wouldn't be long until she had to fess up to Shannon, her wife, about what she'd done.

"There is always a possibility of it backfiring Mary." Lilith had been around Beatrice enough to know she sabotaged herself plenty.

"You're a pessimist."

"And you're being naïve."

"Ladies… I think we need to let it happen. It's already in motion. No way to stop it now." Mary sighed. Lilith shook her head. "And don't even think you aren't party to this. You left her in Ava's care."

"What the fuck Cam?"

"Don't what the fuck me. You told her to take care of Bea. Instead of being, I don't know, protective then and taking care of her yourself. You're complicit." The curly-haired woman had moved and was tucked into Lilith's side. It wasn't often she did this in front of others. They had an unspoken agreement to keep things quiet between them. Mary was aware. Camila was pretty sure Beatrice knew too but never said anything. They weren't exclusive. Camila was free to be with others should she choose as was Lilith. "You want Bea happy. I know you do. So, no negative energy ok?" Lilith growled and muttered an agreement. "Ok… let's get out of here. I need sleep."

"Not coming to mine then?" Lilith asked and Mary protested loudly.

"I'm not listening!" She grabbed her bag and walked out of the office. Camila laughed as she stood up and offered her hand to Lilith.

"I said I needed sleep. I didn't say how much… and I certainly don't want to be alone." Lilith took her hand and stood up with a smile on her face.

"Camila, I swear to… if you fuck up my work roster any more…" Mary yelled from the stairs leading into the club. Camila laughed.


Beatrice woke up around 6am with a headache. She groaned and turned over on her couch. She didn't think she'd moved since she passed out. A nagging thought crept up and she looked in front of her and saw the water glass on the coaster. That happened. That really happened. She tried closing her eyes and letting her mind drift. It was with alarming clarity that it wasn't at all a dream. "Fuck!" She yelled. She got up slower than she wanted and drained the glass of water. She took it with her into the kitchen and refilled it while grabbing two pills to combat the throbbing in her head. She put the glass in the sink and changed into running clothes. You can't run from this. She hated the voice in her head. She grabbed her water bottle, clipping it to her cross-shoulder bag, Finding her phone and keys, she shoved those in the bag as well and walked out of her place. She tried rushing past the door opposite in case it should open. She doubted Ava was as early a riser as Beatrice herself, but she wasn't completely sure. A quick warm-up stretch when she was out on the street and she set of on her run. There was a constant replay in her mind as she ran. The conversation that started in Mary's office, the kissing, the talk when she was drunk on the couch (that one was a little spotty but the gist was there). She kept her pace steady.

She ran for three miles and decided against the gym, opting for the park instead. There was a stitch in her side, and she guessed that it was due to the remaining alcohol burning out of her system and lack of water. She took a seat on a nearby bench. She drank from her water bottle and tried letting her body cool down without stretching. She was nauseous. She cursed herself for drinking as she had. She knew Mary was much more tolerant when it came to alcohol consumption but she had chosen to forget that when in the moment.

You propositioned Ava. She choked on her water as those words floated in her head. She coughed and then started dry heaving. She got it under control before she vomited. She was feeling a bit dizzy. Beatrice searched in her bag and pulled out her phone. She sent out a quick text asking for a ride and hoped she wasn't an absolute idiot.


Ava was lounging in bed. She had texted her friend Chanel after leaving Beatrice's apartment. She needed solid advice on how to handle the casual and friends thing. There wasn't a doubt she wanted both friendship and sex from Beatrice. She'd known that from the moment she saw and spoke to her. But she now had doubts. She kept thinking of maybe this being a person she might want more from. She sighed at her brain. She covered her face with a pillow and screamed into it. Chanel had been out with the gang and invited her out but she opted to skip it. She instead set up her computer system. It was a hybrid work/gaming setup that she and Michael put together. She had tried having regular jobs but found that while she loved being around people, she didn't like the boring part of work. Her mom talked to her about finding work online and she ended up being right. She worked as a medical transcriptionist. The medical jargon had been fairly easy to pick up and she was a quick typist. A few jobs a week and she kept herself afloat.

She supplemented her income by gaming or creating small promo videos for companies that couldn't afford a big marketing firm. It wasn't luxurious but it was making her way in the world. It made her happy. She knew she could do anything she wanted. After relearning to walk, anything would be easy. She thought about that. How it had taken a total of three surgeries for the initial treatment and another four procedures for the stem cells. Some things had been more painful than others but she had persevered. She had put her all into it and made herself and her new family proud when she took her first few steps during her tenth physical therapy appointment. It hadn't been easy at all. She'd wanted to run before she could walk so she learned a different kind of patience than the one she'd learned being immobile for so long.

You can do this. She told herself. You want Beatrice. You can have her. One step at a time. Go with what happens and be yourself. She was psyching herself up but she knew she was right. She could do anything.


"This is Lilith's car." Beatrice spoke as she climbed into the Audi. "She let you borrow her car? She never lets anyone drive her car. Wait, why are you borrowing her car? Where's yours?" Camila waited until Beatrice was in her seat and buckled before pulling out into traffic and handing her a paper bag.

"There's a muffin in there as well as a banana. The cup in the second holder has your tea but you might want to consider a little bit more caffeine."

"I can't eat in Lilith's car."

"You can. Just don't tell her." Camila was driving back to Bea's place but she had purposely taken the longest way possible. "Eat."

Beatrice peeled back the banana as it was the safest choice. The muffin would likely be too crumbly and make a mess that only Lilith would notice but she didn't feel like dealing with it. "You still haven't answered."

"My car is at my place." She answered off-handedly. She wasn't going to outright hide who she was or that she had been with Lilith. "We drove to her place last night."

"Oh." Beatrice nodded and kept eating the banana. She took a swig from what was left of her water. She finished the banana and folded the peel and put it back into the bag. "You and… Lilith? I think… Maybe I knew that but…" Beatrice kept her eyes on the road.

"But I flirt and sleep with others?" Camila shrugged at the words. "She knows. We have a thing."

"And it works for you?" Beatrice was taking slow breaths, realizing this was why she'd chosen Camila instead of anyone else.

"So far." Camila took a wrong turn and then pulled over. She put the car in park. "Ok… so… you texted me. Spill."

"I…. I don't know where to begin." Beatrice looked at her hands.

"Wherever you want. I'm a quick study." Camila smiled at her reassuringly. "How about… I tell you… about Lilith and I?"

"I don't know if that's exactly prudent."

"Eh… she dumped you on Ava's lap last night and I'm guessing that whatever you want to talk about fits in with that."

"I see. Am I that transparent?"

"Only to those that love you Bea." She smiled and reached out to touch her arm. "Sooo…. Lilith and I have been… I can't say together really but as close as together as you can think, for about a year."

"A year?!" Beatrice was beyond surprised. She'd noticed something between them a few months back but Cam had this way about her that she hadn't lent it any weight. But for them to have been dancing around each other for a year was leaving her astounded. "That's… and wait…" Camila rolled her eyes.

"Yes… Todd… and Becky… The three-hour chick.. nothing ever actually happened with her by the way. I flirted… the moment she knew I was… having a thing with someone she balked. And that's ok."

"They knew?"

"Yeah… I don't cheat." Camila answered. "Lilith and I talk about everything… maybe not at the bar cause believe it or not, I do have a good work ethic."

"Never said you didn't." Beatrice was quick to point out.

"No. You didn't. But I know you all look at me like I'm… a little wild… younger… and sometimes that translates as being less than when you all talk."

"I'm sorry Cam. I don't think that. Not at all."

"I know. Deep down I know." She looked out front. "There's no shame in being open. No shame in living… free. As long as everyone involved knows the rules… and there's rules… then no one… well mostly no one has issues."

"Lilith?"

Camila let out a chuckle. "She can have issues some days. She's as insecure as any of us." Beatrice laughed. "It's true. She's a hardass but she's quite soft."

"I can't.." Beatrice let out another laugh. Cam whacked her arm. "I'm sorry… sorry. Ok, go on."

"Be nice to her. Do not pick on her for this." Beatrice nodded. "Anyway… she can get a little jealous if the person I'm flirting with is really good-looking. She doesn't always voice it which is a thing we end up arguing about… not really arguing cause she's a teddy bear." The smile on Beatrice's face was widening. "No teasing." Beatrice waved her away. "But yeah… it takes a long talk, some reassurance, and one-on-one time… but it works."

"I see." Beatrice took a drink from her tea and then picked at the muffin without taking it out of the bag. "I think I asked Ava to be casual something last night."

"Casual something… hmm" Camila was trying to hide her smile. "You might want to clarify that before anything happens."

"Of course… I simply don't… I've never Cam. A few dates here and there, one real girlfriend… I've limited experience."

"No kidding." Camila leaned back in her seat. "But you're not without experience at all. You know how to go on dates if that's what you want. You know how to have sex." Beatrice blushed deeply at the word. It was a gut reaction. "Please tell me you've…"

"Of course! I'm not… Yes, I have had… yes."

"Ok then… cause I wasn't ready for that talk." They both laughed. "If you want to date, tell her. If you want sex, tell her. But be clear."

"I told her I wanted friendship."

"Ouch!"

"No.. I do but I want sex." She said it and didn't stop breathing. She figured she was getting somewhere. "I think she and I could be good friends. And I don't want to not have that. But I really want to…"

"Tear the walls down." Camila nodded proudly.

"For heaven's sake…" Beatrice buried her face in her hands.

"Just talk to her. She obviously knows you were drunk. And she obviously likes you."

"How is it obvious?"

"Have you looked at you? You're hot shit Bea. Just cause you don't flaunt it doesn't mean you don't have it." Camila's phone buzzed. "Hmm.. Lilith woke up. She noticed I wasn't there and her keys are missing."

"You stole her car?" Beatrice was beside herself.

"I borrowed. And it's her fault for not waking up. Besides…" Camila put the car in gear and pulled into the street. "I gave her a damn good night."

"Things I don't need to know… or imagine." Camila let out a loud laugh.