Chapter 97 - Lightsabers
Author's Note: So, there's a little closure in Athea's direction in this chapter. ;)
~ Amina Gila
So many people are gone, but Ahsoka only feels an odd sense of acceptance. This is what she's worked for since the Jedi fell. It's been close to two decades, and she's relieved that it's done. She feels oddly peaceful, and that's in stark contrast to everyone surrounding her. The Ghost Crew have departed to Lothal, and Anakin wants to go back to Mustafar to get her lightsaber. Not that Ahsoka needs it. Rex lost Gregor and Wolffe, which he's taking hard. Anakin has lost his once-Sith-master, and Ahsoka has no idea why he's taking it so hard. Marr lost his mother. Obi-Wan lost... everyone, but he also got everyone back. Ahsoka feels very much the same.
She's not happy, exactly, not yet, but she's peaceful.
They have hope from here. Anakin and Rex are standing together, overlooking the city down below, when she finds them. Neither are speaking, and she doesn't think they have – they haven't spoken much to anyone, period. Anakin hardly has time, and Rex isn't up for it.
"I'm sorry," Ahsoka tells them finally because she doesn't know what else to say.
"We knew the risks," Rex replies. "We all chose to take them."
"I know."
There's another moment of silence, and she can't help thinking about when she was young again. Them, both of them, had always been there. Their bond was forged through war and blood and death, and here they are, in the aftermath of it all, in a victory that can only partly be called such.
Where is there victory when everyone you know is gone?
In some ways, Ahsoka is glad the Palace doesn't look like the Temple. She doesn't think she wants to go back, not after what happened.
"It's hard to think this used to be the Jedi Temple," Rex remarks finally.
"Sidious remodeled the entire building," Anakin replies, "To destroy all remaining traces of the Jedi."
That Ahsoka is grateful for the change is something she doesn't voice. "Have you thought about rebuilding?" she queries.
"I... have not yet discussed it with Obi-Wan," he replies after a brief pause, "I will. We will need someone to take that role."
"I think we would be surprised by the numbers that have survived," Ahsoka comments, "And will return when it's safe." Sidious may have done everything he could to remove them, but the Force always has a way to work around it. Even when he sent Anakin to wipe them out and it still hurts so much thinking about what her master became. He was so kind. So soft. She doesn't understand how he could have been reduced to this. It doesn't make sense.
"Yes," Anakin agrees, "But most of the clones are gone. I have... some of those remaining at my castle. I did not know what else to do. They needed somewhere to stay. The others are scattered across the galaxy."
Now that they're together again, Ahsoka doesn't know what to do. There will always be people to help, but she doesn't know if she's ready to leave them and go back to what she once did. That's what frightens her – she's not a Jedi by name, but she is by choice, and she shouldn't neglect her duties.
"I have your lightsaber," Anakin blurts out suddenly, "At my castle. I found it. I kept it there. Do you... want it back?"
"I have my own," she replies, "But maybe." It was the lightsaber Anakin built for her, after all, and she left it there, thinking of him, knowing that she would have to let go of everything and move on if she was going to build the Rebellion. It never worked, though – Anakin was always with her. Constantly.
"I will retrieve it when I go there again."
"There's no rush," she points out, "I would like to go there with you eventually."
She feels a spike of nervousness. "Very well," he agrees, anyway. She misses how he used to be. It's not until being with him again that Ahsoka realizes how badly she wants to fight beside him again. That was what forged them, and it's in their blood. It's all there ever was. Being without the fighting is already making her... itchy. She doesn't want to stay on Coruscant and deal with politics. It's not her area of expertise.
"If there are others of us still out there, I would like to meet them," Rex comments.
"Yes," Anakin replies, "When matters here are... settled, we will go."
From what she's heard of Mustafar, she can't help finding herself a little morbidly curious on what Anakin's home there is like. Likely, it will say more about her master over the past years than anything else could.
**w**
Briefly escaping the Senate chaos is always relieving. Anakin loathes this – he wasn't made for it. He doesn't know how to handle it, and it makes him miss Padme. He always misses her, though. But still, now that he finally got off enough to breathe and try to do something of his own, after Exegol, he has no questions about what he wants to do most. He knows how Ahsoka purified her crystal, and after everything, he wants to do the same. This is the lightsaber he first made, and while part of him wonders if he can retrieve his own crystal from Mustafar someday, he doesn't want to. It doesn't feel right. It would be like pretending to be the person he once was, which he isn't.
Even if he wants to be and is trying to be.
Marr insists that Anakin try taking the time to heal himself, and admittedly, he feels better now that he's drawing on the Light again. He feels less... like he's dying. He's less worn out all the time.
In truth, what feels most like it needs to heal is the rest of him. He's not even completely convinced it's possible. He might be helping people now, and he might be trying to be what his family wants him to be, but that doesn't mean he can really be... fixed. Sidious told him there was no way out for years, and he can't accept it so fast.
Now that he's alone, Anakin can sense the mournful presence of his kyber crystal – the one that first showed him the vision of finding his... true master.
It's hurting, because he hurt it, like so many other things – and he can heal it, can't he? He can try, anyway, because if he's trying to be a Jedi again, he shouldn't have a Sith's weapon.
He shouldn't wield the weapon of Darth Vader.
Finally, alone, he kneels in the center of his chambers at the Imperial palace, lifting his lightsaber with the Force and taking it apart, piece by piece. He's done this countless times, but never for the same reason. Anakin levitates the crystal to his palm, holding it. It's red, both in color and through his mask – everything looks red, and it's jarring to see something beyond that. It's unnecessary. Sidious had no reason to do that, either, except to drive home his imprisonment.
No. That's not his future. Not anymore. Marr freed him. He doesn't have to be Vader anymore. He doesn't have to be a murderous monster. He doesn't have to be... a tool, a weapon anymore.
Marr had asked him to let it go, and he can still find that spark of light inside himself, that spark that wanted to heal everything. That thought it was capable of something other than death and destruction.
"It was said that you would destroy the Sith, not join them!"
Even as a Jedi, that had been his purpose – destruction. He doesn't know how he could have once believed he was something different, except that's what... he wants to be.
He lets everything else drift away, like he once would have. Marr is still here, because he always has been – Sidious would never have allowed him to be with Vader, because he knew what Marr was capable of. He's too dangerous and uncontrollable, and he doesn't fall for petty Sithly rivalry. Sidious knew that. He tried to kill him, to have Vader kill him, for that reason.
Except Marr was too fast for that, too.
But still, he came back, persistent, refusing to let himself be pushed away. And Anakin lets himself freely remember the times when they were younger, when Ahsoka was still there, when they... everything. Everything before she left, and their lives fell apart.
He thinks of Rex, of how his captain had always been there, for all that he could have been.
He thinks, briefly, of his mother and his wife, then of... what came from them. Luke and Leia. The twins, his twins, his future.
They're both so, so light, without all the darkness that Sidious constantly told Vader was a part of him.
And if they can be, as part of him, he can find it in himself, too.
Maybe he failed Padme, but he didn't fail them, at least. He saved Marr.
They're home. It can't undo the years he spent with Sidious, any of it, but it's enough that Anakin thinks, maybe, they can try to move forward.
When he opens his eyes again, the crystal is shining in his palm, glowing softly in the Force. It's white now, like Ahsoka's lightsabers. It feels like... him. Like what he wants to be.
Anakin gathers the pieces, arranging them back together again and igniting the blade. It weighs the same, but somehow feels lighter. It's not crying anymore. It's peaceful.
It's free. He's free.
And he doesn't feel a shred of regret for slashing everything in his medical room to pieces afterwards, as if it's a final "I'm free of you" to Sidious.
**w**
Vizma's used her father's lightsaber her entire life, but now that he lost the Darksaber, he'll need it back. It's strange to think about not having it, but that issue is quickly solved when she senses the kyber crystals that were once her grandmothers. They feel... familiar. As if they're calling for her. As if they're asking her to come and heal them from whatever her mostly-insane grandmother did to them.
"I think they're calling me," she tells Marr finally, "I keep feeling them, and I'll need a new lightsaber, anyway, right?"
"I won't be going back into action for quite some time," he replies, "But... yes. I would like to have it back. You may be able to build something. I'm sure Anakin can get what you need."
"Of course," she agrees cheerfully. It takes a bit of time to figure out what she needs, because she's never imagined having a blade of her own making and color, but she's excited to see it.
It takes a bit of time to gather the parts she needs, but assembling it comes fast. It feels better to use Athea's crystals. It feels like she's... healing and rebuilding that which was already broken.
Anakin had, somehow, changed his lightsaber from red to white, and Vizma does the same, only so it won't annoy her when she uses it. Except white doesn't quite fit her, so she asks Anakin to show her how to change the color that emits from the saber while keeping the kyber the same color – he'd done it with Ahsoka, apparently.
She chooses purple. She can't imagine having any other color, but it's almost stunning how right the double-blade feels in her hands. She can't imagine ever using it as a double blade, but both crystals are hers, and she couldn't imagine doing anything else with it.
Purple is the same color her father had, and the only color she grew up around. She can't imagine wielding one of any other color. Purple is a color of balance, her father had said.
"Purple?" Anakin asks, faint amusement tinging his voice.
"That's what I used for years. I think it fits," she replies, shrugging slightly. She still doesn't really know what to think of him, but she likes being around him.
"It... suits you," he agrees, studying her.
"I think white suits you better than red, too. Red's boring."
She thinks the noise that escapes the vocoder is something close to a laugh, but it's hard to tell. And it's weird to imagine Darth Vader laughing.
"Thanks for helping me," Vizma says, finally.
"Whatever you desire of me," he replies, sincerely.
She withholds the snippy comment that he always talks so strange and gives him a small smile in return. She thinks the emotion he's feeling is a mirror of that.
She goes to find Marr after that.
"How is it?" Vizma asks, igniting her lightsaber and holding it out to her father.
He takes it from her, twisting the blade around before passing it back to her, smiling. "It's perfect."
She smiles back. "I can't wait to use it." It's a little heavier than her fathers because of the double-blade, and it's not curved, which is stranger, but she wants to get used to it.
"We will soon enough," he promises, "Once we return to Mandalore, I imagine you'll find an opportunity."
Vizma can't conceal her grin. "Good. I wanna show Ezra, too."
"Over a holo or in person?" her father asks. "We should detour to Lothal sometime."
Considering the length of time that they haven't been there? "Definitely."
**w**
"Are you ready, Master?" Marr asks cheerfully, the purple blade hissing to life in his hands. It's the first time he's used his own lightsaber in sparring since he fought against Maul all those years ago with Ahsoka. After that, he'd hidden his lightsaber, then he got the Darksaber, and then he gave it to Vizma, so now is the first time he's actually using it. It reminds him of years ago, and maybe that's not such a bad thing. He's finally finding a merging point between Marr Vizsla and Theseus Shan, just as he has for the Light and Dark.
It hums with a sense of familiarity in his hands he never realized he missed – the same way with so many of the other things he has been seeing in the past weeks since everything happened.
Obi-Wan activates his own blade in response, and Marr doesn't wait, swinging for him. They had briefly sparred on the way to Coruscant so Obi-Wan could get accustomed to fighting again, but it wasn't much, to avoid either of them getting too worn out. They had a battle to win, after all, and there was no room for failure.
The last time they truly fought each other was... He doesn't remember. Sometime before Ahsoka contacted them, whenever it was that they last had a chance to spar amidst the constant chaos of battle. He could never forget the way Obi-Wan fights, though, and he instinctively falls back into the old patterns he always used to counter it.
Only now, he's a lot more skilled, and his master is well... not.
"You're still this out of practice, Master?" Anakin calls, above the clashing of their lightsabers.
"I have had little time to practice," he shoots back, blocking Marr's next blow.
"Not even before you came here?"
"He was busy with Luke," Marr offers.
"Who apparently nearly ignited the lightsaber into his head the first time he turned it on, so yeah, not really an ideal opponent," Ahsoka chirps.
"You did not warn him of its danger first?!"
"I did," Obi-Wan gripes, "But as all Skywalkers do, he ignored me."
"You clearly stated if he ignited it into his face, it would be lethal?"
"It was obvious from –" Obi-Wan backs up a few steps, and Marr lunges at him again, anyway, "– It doesn't need to be stated that specifically."
"I can't believe you're arguing about this," Marr huffs, "But I did clearly tell Vizma not to do that when I first gave her one. I warned her, like fifty times."
"Your daughter wasn't seventeen when you first started teaching her," Obi-Wan huffs, blocking his next strike, backing up again. He's not doing as well as Marr expected, while he has to admit he finds mildly amusing. He's still good, but he's never been able to push him onto the defensive so much before.
"I hate to point this out, but this time I agree with Obi-Wan," Ahsoka interjects.
"He was a farmer," Marr offers, "How should he know how dangerous it is?" Although he can't imagine living in such a closed-in environment that someone wouldn't even know what lightsabers are.
"All I know is I do not want to train another Skywalker," Obi-Wan gripes.
"I am not offering," Marr replies flatly. Obi-Wan Force shoves him back, and he hastily recovers himself before he comes at him again, swinging up his blade to block him.
"Me either," Ahsoka calls.
"Someone must complete their training," Anakin speaks up.
Obi-Wan pulls back from the fight for a moment, giving them both a chance to breathe. "What about you?" he asks.
"Me?" Anakin repeats dubiously.
"Why not?" Marr asks, turning to face him, "If you don't think you're ready you don't have to, but I don't think it's an opportunity you want to miss. I would never have wanted anyone else to train Vizma."
"I... was a Sith," he objects. "I do not know if..."
"You trained me fine," Ahsoka points out.
"That was two decades ago."
"If you did it then, I'm sure you could do it again now," Ahsoka argues.
"That was before... I Fell," he objects.
"You were a natural teacher," Obi-Wan replies, "If you did it then, I'm sure you can again. You did well with Ahsoka."
Anakin just stares at him, his disbelief radiating into the Force.
"You did, Skyguy," Ahsoka offers, "Everything I did was because of your training."
"You have the time to think about it," Marr points out, "And you can ask their opinions on it, too."
"I... will consider it," Anakin finally says, slowly. He feels confused, relieved, ashamed, and... something else. Marr can't tell what, but he's visibly overwhelmed.
"Luke constantly expressed his desire to know you. I imagine he would want you to train him," Obi-Wan says.
"Then what about Leia?" Ahsoka objects, "I already declined, and Marr has a student, so that leaves one last option."
"No," Obi-Wan insists stubbornly.
"I have the feeling she would like to have you as a master," Marr objects.
"I am not training Leia Skywalker Organa."
"Why?" Ahsoka queries.
"Because she's..." He pauses, as though searching for words to express his possibly feigned annoyance.
"Because he's getting too slow to keep up in his old age," Marr quips, Force-shoving him back and swinging for him again, ignoring Obi-Wan's grumbled protested. "We never said this was over!"
Obi-Wan doesn't bother to reply, instead throwing all of his focus into the fight, and Marr does the same, tuning out the amusement and snippy comments he can hear from both Anakin and Ahsoka in the background. It doesn't take Marr much longer to win the fight, swinging his lightsaber at the right angle to disarm Obi-Wan, leveling the blade near his neck. "Looks like I won," he smirks as he extinguishes his blade.
"The point was practice, not winning," Obi-Wan grumbles.
Marr rolls his eyes, turning away.
"I did expect something more impressive," Ahsoka snips.
"I would have expected Jedi to respect their elders more," Anastasia crows, breezing into the room.
Marr groans. "Really? And since when did you respect anyone?"
"I would if there were more people around who deserved it."
"Who even invited you in here?"
"I came to watch you lose." Why does she have to be so irritating all the time?
"I think you'll be disappointed then," Ahsoka offers.
"Did you realize siblings were this crazy?" Marr asks, maybe a little over-dramatically.
"Yes," Anakin replies.
He raises an eyebrow. "What siblings are you referring to?" He remembers once when Anakin mentioned something about his father and crazy siblings. In truth, he never really knew who he was talking about.
"Really? Where are these siblings?" Ahsoka asks dubiously.
"Here."
"Hey!" Marr protests when Anastasia cracks up. He tries and fails to smother his own smile.
"Perhaps we could get along after all," Anastasia smirks.
The helmeted head just looks at her.
"You should have seen the first time he tried using a jetpack," she says, seeming only slightly less comfortable under the stare than she was before.
"Now this, I may want to hear," Obi-Wan agrees.
"What's wrong with all of you today?" Marr complains in feigned annoyance.
"You don't need to be embarrassed," Ahsoka offers cheerfully, patting his arm.
"He took off by accident, zig-zagged around in the sky, then crashed, screaming like a girl, and nearly fell in the campfire."
"I did not," Marr retorts, "Do any of that."
"And nearly got stuck in a snowbank," she adds, with an evil grin.
"That is a complete exaggeration." Which it absolutely is. Although maybe the part about taking off by accident and yelping in surprise – not screaming, thank you very much – was true. He was still getting to know his father then and learning to use his armor had been one of the things they really started bonding over.
"Once on Ryloth –" Anakin begins.
"Hey, she doesn't need to hear about that!" Marr protests.
"I have to, now."
"I hate you," he mutters.
"I love you, too," she smirks.
"I can't believe you just said that."
"If you are all done, I believe we have more important matters to be discussing," Obi-Wan interrupts. And for once, Marr can be grateful that he changed the topic, because they do not need to keep talking about this. Although Marr can only be grateful that Anakin seems... so much lighter than he has in a long time. He's getting a little better, even if it's happening slowly.
"Right," Ahsoka replies, "We need to start with convincing Obi-Wan to train Leia."
"Yes," Anakin agrees.
Obi-Wan groans.
**w**
The Senate is still in uproar over all the Rebel attacks across the galaxy, and especially on Coruscant. It's easier now that the news of what Palpatine has been up to was made public, but there's still many people who are upset about it.
"The Senate has submitted a request for you to appear before them, personally," Anakin tells Marr, "There has been a large backlash. Many are requesting your execution. I can hold it off –"
"No," Marr objects. He's been thinking about it, and it's an unusual solution, but having Anakin try arguing with them is pointless. "I will take my case to the Senate and explain everything to them. The public deserves to know the full truth, anyway. About everything. Sidious, me, you, everything." They haven't revealed Anakin's identity yet, though Marr thinks there's rumors. It's not something they wanted to do. And he really doesn't want to tarnish his brother's name like that but keeping this a secret will not change facts. It won't do anyone any good. The secret will likely not last forever anyway.
Better for Anakin to be the one who admits it than some of Sidious's supporters That would just make him look worse to the public. "If you agree, of course," he adds, "But I believe the public should know of your... background."
"I have no... problem with it," Anakin replies.
Marr suspects that Anakin actually does mind, but he won't object. He never does, and somehow, that hurts even more. Anakin is constantly avoiding conflict of any sort unless it involves lightsabers anyway.
Marr does end up in the Senate room the next day, and he's not terribly happy about that, either. He has never liked the Senate much. That's far truer now. It's completely ineffective, and Marr highly doubts it ever really could be. The way the Force feels in the room grates on him, too – many of these people, too, are corrupted. No wonder Anakin seems to dislike this so much. "I am well aware what I did was treasonous," Marr says, "But drastic circumstances call for drastic action. I know this is not an excuse for treason, but in truth, there was no other way to eliminate Palpatine. You all know of the damage he was doing to the galaxy. He could not be left in power any longer."
He goes on from there, saying everything he can in his defense, and explaining of Anakin's true identity, and a little on how Palpatine had forced Vader to serve him, though he finally found the opportunity to turn on Sidious and do something for the galaxy.
He has to point out the fact that Palpatine was Sidious and orchestrated all of this, which people do not seem happy to hear, but it's clear as day that Sidious was bringing the Empire to ruin.
Many of the Senators still seem distinctly unhappy, insisting that there should still be consequences for the damage caused by the Rebellion, but really, all the damage done to the galaxy needs to be rebuilt right now. They don't have time to worry about "punishing" people or the systems behind the Rebellion.
Thankfully, most of the Senate can agree on that.
By the time that's all over, Marr can't help thinking that killing off all of Sidious's aides would've been a far better revenge. Make him handle all the stress and paperwork and craziness involved alone? Well, he did ask for it.
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