By the time Principal Wartz arrived at the cafeteria, there was a total of nine students protesting. Two of the boys had purchased school lunch, but were shouting insults about the school staff.
"Lunch ladies stink!" Iggy declared.
"Principal Wartz is a loser!" Cory said. The tall blond boy was Iggy's best friend.
"Hey!" Principal Wartz pointed at Cory. "You, young man, just lost today's recess."
Cory turned pink. "Recess detention? Again?"
"That's right." Now the principal was heading towards Arnold. "Is that a ruler, Mr. Shortman?"
Arnold glanced at his sign. "Uh...yeah?"
Principal Wartz snatched it from his hand. "Using a ruler to make a picket sign is a violation of school policy. Recess detention!"
"What?" Helga shouted. Arnold looked stunned.
"All of you, sit down," Principal Wartz said. "Protests are prohibited during lunch period." He tore the paper off Arnold's ruler and tossed the paper into a trash can.
"Hey!" Helga said. She could feel her anger rising. "Who do you think you are?"
"The principal." He sounded tired.
"These rules don't make sense," Arnold said. "Why can't we use rulers for signs?"
"Sit down," Principal Wartz said. He grabbed Arnold's arm and pointed at Gerald's table.
"Ow." Arnold rubbed his arm. "Principal Wartz, I…"
Helga saw red. "You hurt my boyfriend!" She was practically screaming. "You're not a principal! You're a—" She couldn't think of a good insult.
"Do you want recess detention?" Principal Wartz asked. "That's where insults always lead."
"I'd rather spend recess anywhere else on Earth!" Helga said. "Your office smells….it smells!"
For some reason, the principal grinned. "Then bring some air freshener."
There were only three chairs in Wartz's office, so he made Helga stand. Arnold and Cory were seated next to each other, across from Wartz's chair.
"It doesn't smell bad in here," Cory said.
"Thank you, Cory," Principal Wartz said. "I pride myself in keeping this place clean."
"By the way," Arnold said, "Principal Wartz didn't hurt me. My arm is sore from my flu shot."
Helga groaned. "You mean I got sent here over nothing?"
"Stop talking," Principal Wartz said. He was doing a crossword puzzle.
After a long, silent five minutes, the principal left to monitor the recess yard. "Arnold, I'm trusting you to keep an eye on your peers."
"I will," Arnold said.
As soon as the office door closed, Helga shoved Cory out of his chair. "Whoa!" He landed on the carpeted floor.
"So," Helga sat down, "does your old man really wanna move to Pragma?"
"I hope he doesn't," Arnold said. "I'm gonna miss him."
"Aww." Helga touched his left arm. "You got your flu shot in your right arm, right?"
"Yeah." Arnold sounded withdrawn.
"Don't worry, love. I'm sure Phil will be happy at Pragma."
"I know," Arnold said, but he didn't sound convinced. "I wonder if Grandma will go with him."
"Why wouldn't she?" Helga asked. Aren't his grandparents happily married?
"Hey!" Cory interrupted. "Give me my chair back!"
"No way!" Helga said. "I deserve it! I'm not the one who called Wartz a loser!"
"You almost did!" Cory argued. "And you said his office smells!"
"So I lied," Helga admitted. "So what?"
"Whatever," Cory said. "I'm going back to the cafeteria."
"Fine with me," Helga said. "Just don't buy lunch."
She watched Arnold pick at his thumbnail. "Don't do that, Arnold. You could hurt yourself."
"I'm bored," Arnold said. "And I'm worried about Grandpa. And Grandma, if she goes too."
Helga wished she could reassure him, but she didn't know anything about old people or senior homes. In general, her advice ranged from not helpful to dangerous.
"Maybe he'll hate it there," Helga said. "Maybe it's not as nice as the pictures."
"Maybe," Arnold said. "Or maybe Grandma will talk him out of it."
