AN: Thank you all so much for all the hits and reviews. I cant even tell you how much I appreciate each and every one of you. I have some AMAZINGGGGG art for this chapter, if you want to check it out, it is uploaded to my AO3 account. Same name as here! /works/45278920/chapters/125360227
Hermione tossed and turned. Something was different. She was warmer, hot, almost. Blinking her eyes open, she realized why.
She wasn't alone.
How could she have forgotten? Perhaps she had grown too used to sleeping alone, having Snape be nothing more than a ghost that she rarely saw. Turning to look at him, she took in his tired features. Dark, purple circles were under his eyes. The scowl that he had so often was a little more relaxed, but definitely still present. That deep crease between his eyebrows was more than evident.
And yet, he seemed almost peaceful as he slept. She watched his eyes move beneath his lids as he dreamt. Hermione hoped they were good dreams, but based on the way his lip curled up and his muscles tensed, she somehow doubted it.
What did Snape dream of? Did he dream of Voldemort? Did he dream of people lost during the battle? Of her? She certainly dreamed of him.
She bit her lip.
At some point, he must have overheated. His heavy coat was draped over a chair, his white shirt unbuttoned slightly to reveal just a small triangle of skin. He was beneath the covers, at least up to his waist, and slept on his back.
He looked like a vampire. Even in sleep he was stiff, fingers laced together as they rested on his stomach as if he was scared he might have touched her in his sleep.
Would it have been so bad? To have woken up with his arms around her? It would be nice to feel protected for once. Safe.
She scooted closer, eyes trained on his face, prepared to retreat at a moment's notice should the wizard beside her wake up. But he didn't. When she felt the heat of his body, she could no longer resist. She pressed her body beside his, rolling over so her back was to him. If he woke up, he'd think she just shifted in her sleep.
Curling her legs up, she pressed her cold feet against the warmth of the heavy wool, working them beneath the hem of his trousers to touch his legs. He murmured something and she froze, closing her eyes and trying not to smile as she felt him shift beside her, rolling over and throwing a heavy arm across her waist. She waited to hear his breathing deepen once more before she took his hand in her own and brought it to her chest.
His hand was cupping her breast now. She hadn't meant it in a sexual way, she just… found it comfortable to lay like this. She slid back against him once more, burrowing into the blankets, warming herself against his body. That's when she felt it.
All men woke up with this particular condition, she told herself. But still… It had been so long since they had been together. So long since anything had made her feel alive. What would it hurt? He wasn't being compelled by the charm, this wasn't stress related after all. And the potion would obviously be taken daily to suppress the curse. Obviously, he hadn't had the chance to take it yet.
Should she try? At worst, he'd reject her. Possibly yell. Likely humiliate her. But at best? She bit her lip again. Some risks were worth taking.
She arched her back, slightly, as if just waking up. Severus' fingers squeezed the soft mound of her breast as he groaned, hips bucking up against her as his sleep-filled brain had yet to alert him to her plan.
She arched again, he bucked again, nuzzling her neck as he began to wake up. She was growing wet, wanting to feel this. To feel him once more. She wanted to feel alive, damn it.
But then he stilled his hips and jerked his hand away from her as if it burned. A mumbled apology was sent over his shoulder as he rolled away from her, but she wouldn't allow it. Her hand shot out, gripping his shoulder to keep him on his back.
"Stay," she whispered.
He narrowed his eyes but remained still. Hermione ran her fingers up his ribs, moving to the buttons on his white shirt. He watched, frozen in place as if he were terrified to move as she undid each button, revealing more and more of his chest. She made her way down to his belt, tugging on his shirt to pull it out from his trousers so she could finish her task.
Severus lay there, eyes dark and penetrating, chest rising and falling rapidly as he watched her. Hermione looked to him then, asking him with her eyes for permission to continue. He nodded once, eyes moving from her face down to her hands, watching as she tugged his belt through the hoops, tossing it down onto the floor. When she made a move for his fly, his hands shot out, wrapping around her wrists and squeezing his eyes shut.
"It's okay, Severus."
XOX
His eyes shot open at his name, whispered from her soft, parted lips. She looked so sure of herself. So calm, so… ready. But he wasn't. He didn't want her if it wasn't real. And this couldn't be real. He was in control of her. He was all she had, forcing her to rely on him. This was some sort of fucked up Stokholm situation. He wouldn't, couldn't , take advantage of her anymore.
"Granger…"
"It's Hermione, Severus," she growled. "Stop fighting me all the time. It's… it's confusing."
He pulled his mouth into a straight line, thinking about what he should say next, but she continued.
"One minute you're horrible. The next you're… well, tolerable. Then you push me away, and come back tender… I'm getting whiplash! Are we in this together or not?"
He couldn't speak. His cock was stirring beneath his pants, wanting her desperately. She was so desirable when she was all riled up. He wanted her, it was true. But it was wrong. She'd regret getting close to him. When the war was finally over, if they won, she'd be free from him.
"I can't," he whispered, turning to look at the door instead of into her big, brown eyes.
"Can't?" she snatched her hands from his grip, putting them on her own hips as she sat back on her heels, "or won't?"
"Either," he shrugged. Hermione growled, obviously irritated but determined.
"Granger–"
"Shut up."
He snorted at that. She was a determined little thing this morning.
"Things are going to start changing around here." She poked his chest for good measure as he propped himself up on his elbows, pursing his lips as he listened to her little rant. "You're going to stop keeping me locked up here. I need to leave, I'm going crazy. Keeping me up here isn't protecting me, it's making me weaker and I'm sick of looking at these same 4 walls." She sucked in a big breath of air before she continued, speaking rapidly lest he try to interrupt her again.
"And you're going to start including me in things. My mind is as protected as it's going to be so you best start filling me in, Severus, because I'm involved whether you want it or not. And…" her eyes were downcast as she picked at her fingers, gathering her nerve. When her brown eyes locked onto his, he knew he had lost, even before she started talking again. "And… you're going to stop pushing me away. Even if you think it's a mistake, I don't. I want this. I need this to feel… something. Something other than fear, or worse, apathy. Do you understand? I want this. It's something I have control over. So stop fighting me. "
She stared at him, body stiff as she waited for his wrath that he knew wouldn't come. Hermione Granger seemed to be back. Gone was the broken and fearful girl. Replaced with a brave and powerful witch, an asset and a warrior that he needed. And… would it hurt to spend his last few weeks with a warm and willing witch in his arms? She could hate him after he died. Maybe she was on to something… maybe they should both seek comfort with one another while they had a chance.
"Okay."
"Okay?" She looked confused. Clearly, she thought he'd put up more of a fight. Severus simply lowered his eyes to the tent of his trousers and murmured "go on."
That was all the permission she needed. Eagerly, she unbuttoned his trousers, Severus lifting his hips to help her rid him of the heavy wool. Eager fingers brushed against the waistband of his pants, tickling his skin with the promise of more. She leaned forward, kissing the sharp angle of his hip, licking a path clear across to his other side, making him groan and sink back into the bed.
"I've always wanted to do that," she murmured, sounding as if she was utterly delighted. When she finally pulled his boxers down, his erection sprung free. The hungry look she gave it as she licked her lips had Severus wanting to come right then and there. She was so eager tonight.
He loved it.
She kissed the tip of his cock, tasting the salty droplet that was already leaking out. Her hot breath washed over him, making him twitch as she gently, slowly kissed down his length. His hands moved to grip the sheets, desperate to not grab her hair and thrust himself into her mouth. He'd go at her pace this morning.
He wasn't used to this. To have a woman want him so desperately. His past endeavors were few and far between. He had opportunities early in his life as a Death Eater. He had gone from nothing to a powerful wizard and women fell to their knees for the opportunity to be with him. But after he pledged himself to Dumbledore, he found himself bound to the castle, to the cause . Not to mention, any sort of attachment would be seen as a weakness, something he could be punished for, from either Master. He pushed anyone away that could possibly make him happy or could be used against him.
He watched through half-closed eyes as she mapped him out. She seemed to languish the task, lightly stroking him as her tongue licked against the underside of his cock. When he'd make a noise, or his hips would jerk, she seemed to mentally note it and endeavored to do it again and again. He was falling apart around her, and although he wanted nothing more than to come down her throat, he wanted her. He wanted to taste her. To feel her. To bring her pleasure.
"Stop," he whimpered, none-to-masculine. How embarrassing . But the witch only giggled, releasing him with a loud, wet pop as if he were nothing more than a lolly. He needed a moment to compose himself before he took her. He pulled her up to him, reaching under her arms and lifting her as if she weighed nothing.
He pressed his lips to hers. It was a slow kiss, deep. Her lips were so plump, so soft. Inviting. He sighed, relaxing into the kiss as she parted her lips for him, so he could slip his tongue inside. He moved to cup the back of her head, angling his own to deepen this kiss further and run his fingers through her curls. Hermione's hands moved up, brushing the hair from his eyes and lightly scratching at his scalp. She ground her hips against him, allowing him to feel how wet she was.
Oh, Merlin, she wanted him. He could tell by the heat of her body, the wetness between her legs. And he wanted her too.
He rolled them both over, spreading her thighs wide so he could kneel between her legs, stroking his cock slowly, teasing himself.
"There's no going back after this, Hermione. I'm… not an easy man. I'm cruel. Possessive. Are you sure this is what you want?"
Please. Please say yes. He didn't think he could bear it if she changed her mind now.
"Please, Severus. Fuck me. I want it."
"Fuck, witch," he growled, taking his length and brushing it against her slit, watching as she writhed against the bed with each sweeping pass of his cock brushing her clit. Gods, he forgot how much fun it was to tease a partner. How much better it was when they didn't fight.
"How do you want it, Hermione ?"
She looked at him, a bit of sadness showing through. "I–I don't know. I've never really…"
He nodded, disgusted with himself and determined to make this as enjoyable as possible for her. To make this the first time she deserved. He'd worship her, make her come, and pull her into his arms and hold her.
"Lie back," he pushed gently against her chest to make her relax against the mattress. Pulling the pillow from his side of the bed, he wedged it under her hips, hoping it would make everything feel better. But for now, he'd start slow.
He leaned forward, kissing her again. Severus' hand reached up, cupping her face as he pulled away from the kiss, nudging her head to the side so he could kiss the soft flesh of her throat, licking and nipping his way over to her neck, biting down to mark her as his. He simply couldn't resist. She gasped at that, arching against him in a whimper until he licked the hurt away. There was something satisfying about seeing the mark left behind from his crooked teeth.
He kissed down her collarbone, to her beautiful breasts. He pressed them together, licking her pert little nipples as he moved his head from side to side.
" Oh, please."
She begged so beautifully. But he wasn't ready. Not yet. He ran his thumb over one as he sucked the other into his mouth, tongue lavishing her as she cradled his head against her breast.
"Beautiful," he whispered, moving to the other side to give it equal attention. He moved his hand down between her legs, seeking out her clit and circling around it, unwilling to giver her the attention and pressure she craved.
"Stop teasing," she whimpered, trying to push his head lower as he kissed his way down to her center.
"Demanding little witch, aren't you?"
He slowed his pace even more, teaching her patience. When he lay down fully, head between her legs, her thighs spread wide so he could look at her perfect little cunt, he leaned forward, inhaling and closing her eyes. It embarrassed her, which made him smirk. He decided to not push the issue, not yet anyway. It would take time to get her to fully trust him sexually, to not be afraid to ask for what she wanted, to not be embarrassed by her own desires.
He kissed the crease of her thigh where it met her hip, scraping his teeth across the sensitive skin. When Hermione gasped, his cock twitched, protesting its mistreatment of being pressed against the mattress instead of inside her.
"Patience," he whispered, running his finger through her slit, gathering up her arousal before returning to her clit.
"Oh, please. Please ," she cried out. "No more."
"Relax," he soothed, lowering his head to press a kiss against her, tongue reaching out slowly to taste her. She tasted even better than that first time. So sweet, so willing. He slid a finger inside her, groaning against her when he felt how tight she was.
"More?"
" Mmngh," she groaned, tossing her head from side to side. She was struggling, unused to a slow build. She needed to relax, to trust him. He slid another inside, pumping his digits inside of her, searching for what felt good.
" There it is," he purred when her back arched off the bed. He sealed his lips around her clit, sucking forcefully as he fucked her with his fingers, feeling her throb and pulse around him as her orgasm was given to him, freely. He felt so powerful in that moment, so pleased so… desired. He worked her through her pleasure, waiting for her cunt to release his fingers before he withdrew.
She whimpered from the loss, but she wouldn't be without him for long. He sat back on his heels, pumping himself a few times before he lined himself up with her entrance. He pushed inside slowly. Just the tip, short, shallow thrusts until Hermione growled at him. She wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him forward and inside her.
Severus chuckled at her neediness score groaning when he felt her heat.
"Shut up," she breathed, clenching her muscles around him until he growled, grabbing her hips and thrusting forward.
"Oh, fuck ."
He was lost to her, fingers gripping her hips, sure to leave bruises as his hips snapped against hers. Severus buried his face in her hair, panting against her neck as he listened to her delightful little whimpers. He sought out her lips again, swollen from all their previous kisses. So soft. So gentle.
Hermione was a machine. Her hips moved to match his fast pace, meeting his own thrust for thrust, wrapping her long, smooth legs around his narrow waist and clinging to him as she whimpered and moaned. She was driving him crazy. He needed to calm himself. This wasn't about his pleasure today.
"Slow down, little witch."
"Mm," she groaned, almost pouting. Severus chuckled at that, using all the self control he had left to slow his pace. He slid his left leg up a little, giving himself more room to move, kissing her forehead once before returning his lips to hers, unable to resist the sweet taste of his witch. He needed to feel her, he could go slow, but gods help him, he needed it deep.
He held himself up on his arms, muscles screaming as he held his weight off of her. His foot pressed against the footboard of the bed, sinking inside her so incredibly deep that he was sure she could feel every ridge of his throbbing cock.
"Oh, god." She whimpered, fisting a hand in his hair and tugging him down to her neck. He kissed at her pulse point as he continued to move, making sure to tilt his hips just right so he could drag his pubic bone against her clit. She moaned so loudly that he grit his teeth, fighting his body's urge to take her harshly.
"Sev'rus," she moaned, head rolling against the pillow as she keened. "I—I need—"
"What do you need, Hermione?" He'd give her anything at that moment. Anything to make sure the fire and passion in those deep chocolate eyes never extinguished.
"More."
He growled. 'More', he could give her . He slid his hands under her, whispering in her ear, "wrap your arms around my neck." She obeyed instantly, gasping as he cupped her arse and rocked back so that he was on his knees, pulling her on top of him. Unable to resist, he squeezed the perfect globes and thrust upwards.
" Oh, " she breathed.
Oh, indeed, little witch.
"Take what you need, Hermione," he soothed, helping her wrap her legs behind his waist, eyes locked on to hers. When she started to rock, he supported himself with one arm behind them, unable to let go of her soft, supple body with his other hand.
Their eyes both closed, feeling each other's passion, the stress of the world fading away, getting lost in one another. Gods, she felt so good. The way her little body squeezed his and trembled against him, her little sighs of satisfaction and gasps on pleasure. He never wanted to let her go.
It was a mistake, opening up like this. He was lost to her now, belonging to her just as much as she belonged to him. His heart clenched when he realized he'd have to treat her poorly in front of others, but damn it all, she'd be worshiped like a goddess when they were alone. He'd give her anything she desired as long as she forgave his actions. They opened their eyes at the same time, the heat in her gaze took his breath away.
She smiled, shyly. "Real sex," she breathed, digging her fingers into his shoulders.
He pulled her closer to him, gripping her hip as he buried himself deeper. "Real sex," he agreed.
Their movements became slow, lazy. When her body grew desperate and tired,he pulled her against him, helping her rock against him as her orgasm built. When she finally fell over, he grit his teeth, not ready to be finished with her yet. He leaned forward, placing her on her back once more, brushing the hair from her face as he kissed her once more.
She clenched her muscles and he couldn't wait any more.
"Fuck," he groaned. "Gonna come."
"Yes," she whispered, squeezing him even tighter as he bucked his hips, finally allowing his own pleasure to take him over, spilling into her with a groan. It took a few minutes for him to gather his wits, rolling off and pulling her with him.
"I feel boneless," she giggled, tracing her fingers over a few of his scars.
"I'm too tired to brew some Skelegrow . I'm afraid you'll just have to cope."
She laughed then. A full belly laugh that warmed his cold heart. It was contagious, spreading to him. He knew it was nerves and adrenaline, but as they held each other and laughed, he allowed himself to hope.
XOX
"Now what?" The silence was deafening and Hermione just had to know where they stood.
Severus stretched his long legs, spine popping before he moved to sit up, unashamed of his nakedness. "Some breakfast, I should think." He rubbed the back of his neck as he walked over to his wardrobe, pulling out a fresh pair of trousers. Hermione couldn't help but hope that his not putting pants on might mean they'd be back in bed before long.
"You know that's not what I meant."
Severus let out a deep sigh, turning to face her. Her eyes ran over his body, appreciating his form. He was so strong under those robes, skinny, yes. But strong.
"We can't act like anything has changed."
"Has it changed?"
She didn't want to hope, but when he turned and looked at her so openly, she had her answer.
"This was a dangerous decision."
"Do you regret it?" Hermione hoped he didn't. She certainly had no regrets. This was the most alive she'd felt in a long time.
Severus thought about his response carefully. "I…" he hesitated, breaking eye contact to fasten his trousers. "I regret who I must be outside of these rooms."
"I'm sure I've handled worse." She moved to get dressed herself.
"I can't protect you. Not if it comes between you and the war."
"I don't expect you to. Just— after , come back here and hold me as if nothing happened."
"You don't deserve this life." He moved to sit on the bed, burying his face in his hands and scrubbing his face.
"Neither do you."
He scoffed. "You know nothing of my past or what I deserve."
She knelt behind him, leaning over to rub the tension from his shoulders. "I know the type of man you are now. You've had to do some horrible things to survive. Well both have to do even worse things before this war is over. I'm not as innocent as I look either."
He stiffened beneath her before she squeezed his shoulders, keeping him in place. She kissed his cheek before moving off the bed, reaching out a hand to walk with him to their sitting room.
"We will get through this together."
He swallowed, buttoning up the shirt he had grabbed before sitting down on the sofa with her, looking at the breakfast Kreacher had left for them. "When this is over… I promise I'll find a way to make sure you're free. If I was a better man, I'd never pursue you. But I'm not a better man. Forgive me, this weakness."
There was nothing to forgive. He was as much a victim as she was. Hermione was determined, by the end, to make Severus realize that he was a good man.
After breakfast, she was to shower and change. He was letting her leave today, to join the others' work on the castle. She was nervous. How would everyone treat her? Would they still trust her? Has anyone else died? What if Dolohov was there? She looked over at the man sitting beside her, pushing the eggs around on his plate and smiled. With him, she found her strength.
